


All This Time

by LenaDeMon



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Actually more smut than I expected, Apocalypse, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Shower Sex, Slow Romance, Zombies, daryl dixon/oc - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 09:40:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 65
Words: 303,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23349307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LenaDeMon/pseuds/LenaDeMon
Summary: Elena was always composed and methodical. She knew how to survive the world way before it finished. She wasn't looking for attachments, for people to call a family. Because attachments are liability, make you weak especially in this new world where dead are walking and living are more dangerous than before.English isn't my first language, I try to proof read everything and check for any mistakes, but if you see any I missed please point it out.I don't own anything or anyone, except my OC Elena.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character(s), Maggie Greene/Glenn Rhee, Rick Grimes/Michonne
Comments: 99
Kudos: 210





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am extremely excited to post my work here I was a silent reader for a long time and finally after thinking how I would write my OC into the story I decided to give it a go.  
> But a few things first.  
> It's gonna be a long story. There will be violence, strong language, and sex (in the future).  
> Also, I'd really appreciate any constructive criticism or suggestions so please don't be a stranger!

**Day 1**

When I heard the phone call, I was already packing my backpack and duffel bag. I was breathing steadily, and my moves were calm and methodical. I already had a set of clothes, a few thermals, pants, t-shirts, a collection of underwear, and my shooting gloves, which I stashed in the front pocket. All the weapons were put in the duffel bag alongside spare ammo and two sets of throwing knives. I flipped my hair over the shoulder while reaching for my mobile, thinking of what other necessities I should put in the bags.

"SSA James, speaking" My voice was even and on point. I reached for a flashlight and put it in the side pocket of my backpack. There was shouting on the other side of the line, and shots were heard.

"Elena! Did you see the news?" It was Michelle, my best friend of many years. We met at work ages ago and hit it off instantly, even though we've worked in different departments that didn't stop our friendship from blossoming. Right now, she was shouting orders and breathing heavily into the phone.

"Of course, I did. I also saw what's happening outside of my window" I snorted in laughter and moved towards the kitchen. Holding the phone by my shoulder, I started packing food from cupboards and analyzing what will last the longest. "I'm heading to Atlanta right now, Jackson called me just before you did." Gunfire, on the other side, grew louder, and screams became more fearful.

"Michelle, are you still there? What's happening?!" I was usually a composed type of person, and it was hard to put me off balance, but right now I started to realize how serious everything was. I was afraid for my friend.

"Elena, no time! DC is overrun, we lost contact with others." I stopped and swallowed hard. I knew what she was trying to say, and my breathing quickened. "Michelle, I love you, I couldn't wish for a better friend."

"Me too, El. Head for Atlanta, stay safe, try to trust people, you can't make it alone! I -" Before Michelle could say anything else, the line was cut off. My shoulders were shaking from silent cry, both hands holding tightly to the counter. This feeling inside me, like someone, was trying to rip my heart out and was squeezing my guts, the sense of pain I knew too well, was the main reason I decided to not get attached to anyone anymore. I let out an uncontrollable sob, and few tears slipped from under my eyelids.

Minutes passed before I managed to compose myself, wiping tears from my cheeks. I pulled my long, blonde curls into a high bun and quickly finished packing. When I left for the car, I knew that nothing will ever be the same. Without looking back, I put the car in gear and headed towards Atlanta.

The highway leading to the city was packed, and cars were full of people. Some were bored, inpatient and some started showing signs of panic. My car was on the outer line, engine turned off, and I was slowly chewing on a granola bar. I pushed a few loose hair strands from my face and reached for the radio that sat on the passenger side, turning it on and putting it onto the right channel.

"This is Agent James, broadcasting to Atlanta base, please respond," I voiced with determination. I had tried this already at least five times in the last two hours, but without any effect. Finally, making a decision, I opened the door and left the car, checking if my handgun was in place and reached the back seat to grab a hunting knife out of my duffel bag. I drove for three hours before I've gotten to where I am now, and there were few things I noticed on the road.

One, these sick people, well, they weren't people anymore, more like animals, doing anything to get what they want. And it seems that what they want now is to eat other people.

Two, hurting them in any other place, but their head does shit nothing.

Three, the noise attracts them, hence stabbing and silent weapons are the smartest thing. What I would do to have a bow with me right now, unfortunately, that's not a weapon I usually use anywhere but on the training grounds.

I moved towards the city, maneuvering between still cars. "This is Agent James, broadcasting to Atlanta base, please respond!" I passed a big RV with an older guy in a fisherman hat, a few families, a fat black guy who tried to call someone on his cellphone. People were all around me, and I saw a couple of kids playing cards, eating, and setting sleeping bags in their cars. My radio crackled, and I quickly put it up to my ear.

"Agent James, this is Anderson. Stay away from the city!" Anderson? He was a low key level office mouse, where is the rest?

"Anderson, what the fuck is happening?! Where is Lee?" I stopped in my tracks when I heard the sound of planes and helicopters flying towards the city. People around me started getting out of the cars and trying to see what was happening. Is it evacuation? Or...

"City is lost! We lost - contact with White House" Radio started crackling, and I heard screams and pain sounds coming through it. My breath hitched in my chest. "--Not safe - lost - get out."

And then I saw it: no evacuation, no refugee centers, no safe house in Atlanta. The planes, they were dropping napalm onto the streets, sounds of explosions started reaching the highway, and I quickly turned around to run to my car.

"Go back to your cars! The city is lost, go back, turn around!" I screamed while running towards my black SUV. As I was passing a cream RV, the guy in the fisherman hat grabbed my arm.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, what's happening, what do you mean the city is lost?" I tensed under his touch and looked up at him, my eyebrow rose just slightly. The man looked ashamed and quickly released me and stepped back. That's what I thought, old man.

"They dropping napalm into the city," I said with a steady voice still looking at him with a stern look. "Whatever camps were left, they got overrun. There is nothing in Atlanta, but dead right now" He shook his head in disbelieve.

"We need to leave this place, Ma'am." He took his hat off and run a hand through his graying hair. "There is an old quarry about 5 miles south from here, we need to turn around and get off this highway" I looked at him again with calculating eyes. Michelle's words rang in my head, about trusting people and letting them in. Can I do it? I am perfectly capable of doing this by myself, but what exactly is it. Is it just some virus that will die out in a few days? Or is it something way more severe. Even during working on a case, I had a team to work with, to watch each other's backs. I know how to survive, my childhood, and later training took care of that. But can I make it completely alone? God knows how long it all will last or even if it will ever end.

"Lead the way, we should try to get as many people with us as possible. It's not safe here." I answered and run off to her car, while the man stepped into his RV.

I was thinking quickly while turning the car around. Being with people isn't anything new, but that isn't just another case with work colleagues, I don't have a plan, witnesses or suspects to interrogate. That would be just me, plain Elena James without masks and without federal backup. Can I let these people know who I am, or will it be another play on my part, for God only knows how long?

**Day 3**

After two days at the quarry, we've already had around twenty people in our little camp. We stationed cars in strategic places and set up the tents Glenn found yesterday on the run to the city. The city, Atlanta. Both me and Shane were against him going back there. It was stupid and reckless, close to a suicide mission. But we eventually agreed, after a young man told us that he knows the streets and is basically a walking map of Atlanta. When he came back, everyone wanted to know what happened there and if there are any survivors. There weren't, not that he could tell, and we didn't ask anymore as he looked shaken up.

Shane was a cop, so everyone automatically trusted him, he was good at quick thinking and had protective instincts. When I mentioned that I was working for the government, it also set me high in their eyes, and now people were either looking at Shane or me with their needs. I still wasn't comfortable around them, hell I probably never will, but I promised myself that I will try, for Michelle.

"Where are you going?" Dale, the RV guy, came up to me when I started heading towards the tree line, gun, and machete by my side. "I am going to the woods, I need to gather few things" I looked at the old man and smiled, reassuring him everything will be fine. "I can take care of myself, don't worry." Without waiting for his response, I walked away towards the forest.

My boots were quiet against the ground. We did swift perimeter check when we set up the camp, but still, better to be careful than sorry. I knew exactly what I was looking for. I wasn't wasting any time, scooted a few branches and sticks, still looking for more and collected small rocks into my bag. I breathed in deeply, enjoying the quiet, wondering how the hell all this started. Will it ever end? Is it just temporary plaque, like black death in the old ages or is it something we can't overcome. In the woods' peacefulness, it was easy to forget that our country was now in a state of emergency.

I was moving silently through the forest, looking around and on the ground, searching for things I needed.  
I was perfectly aware that someone was following me, for the last fifteen minutes, the steps were quiet, but I had good hearing and knew how to recognize noises even in the forest. I had a pretty good idea who it was. I saw him move yesterday when they were checking the area and securing the quarry. I noticed then that even though he was a well-built man, he moved quietly and carefully, a typical hunter. He had to be experienced, and the forest was definitely his forte, even before what happened in the last few days. Not surprising as his weapon of choice was a crossbow that also explained deliciously looking arms, no one learns how to use that kind of thing overnight.

I stopped suddenly, shaking my head. What the fuck am I thinking about?! That's not the time or place to think about some guys arms, some guy I don't even know, no matter how good looking.

I closed my eyes and listened. His footsteps stopped as well, and on my left, I could hear soft noises of birds. Yes, this is precisely what I needed to finish this little trip. I reached carefully for one of my knives, which sat secured on my sides, just under my breasts, by reins. It was an ingenious looking holster for my throwing knives set, design of yours truly. All that construction was hidden under my open flannel shirt, holding six knives altogether.

I took one out, turned in the direction of a bird I heard. It sat on one of the higher branches on a nearby tree. Now I know jack shit about birds, all I know it's medium-sized, and at the moment, it was using its beak to clean its feathers. I looked only at my target, positioning my body quietly in the perfect angle for a throw, I breathe in and out, steadily and release. The knife hit the mark perfectly in the bird's neck, the only issue was that the force of a throw impaled it to a tree's bark. It was tall and almost completely lacked any smaller branches on the bottom.

"Fuck!" I walked quickly to the tree and looked around it for any reachable branches which would allow me to climb up. Nothing, just my luck. I guess it's time for plan B.

"Well, I guess the show's over Dixon!" I spoke loud enough for him to hear me. "Move your ass here and give me a boost." I turned around on my heel to look in the spot where he supposed to be. That is if I didn't misjudge the distance and direction of his steps. I didn't luckily, that would make me look super stupid, he came out from between the trees.

"How the hell did ya know I was there, woman?" Daryl looked at me through squinted eyes, brooding expression on his face. Not that it was something weird, these few times I tried to talk to him that was the only look he was giving to people.

"It wasn't that hard. I heard you since you started to follow me. Oh yeah, what's that about?" I crossed my arms on my chest and looked him in the eyes. Or I would if he would be looking anywhere near my face.

That's another thing I noticed, Daryl never looked directly at you, not unless you were his brother, Merle. He always was pacing as well, showing how uncomfortable he is around other people.

"I didn't... - I wasn't. I saw ya walkin' around, and ya were in the path of my game." I smirked at how uncomfortable I made him feel, while he tried to make excuses for himself.

"Alright, nevermind that. I wasn't lying about the boost, though. I need that bird and my knife." I put wood I collected by the tree trunk, my bag next to it and waited for the men to come around. He didn't. He looked at me like I'd grew a second head, and his scowl deepened. I sighed quietly.

"Come on, Daryl, I am not some helpless lady, and if I didn't need your help, I wouldn't ask. The tree doesn't have any lower branches, and I'm way too short to reach it even if I'd jump. So move your ass here and give me a boost." After a second of silence, I added strained "Please" through gritted teeth. I hated the fact that I need to ask for help, especially someone like Dixon.

That's all I need some Redneck thinking that I can't do shit by myself. But I had to admit that the thought of his hands touching me, this bulky arms wrapped around me 'stop it!'. Daryl finally moved towards me, pulling his bow's strap around him, so it sat safely on his back.

"Alright, you stand here, give me a nice steady and high boost, so I can reach it. I'll be fine with pulling myself up." He stood almost entirely underneath the branch, while I looked up accessing the distance and how I need to grab the tree to properly pull myself up. I nodded while man laced his fingers together and stood in a steady position.

"Ok, three, two, one!" I placed my right foot in his hands, placed mine onto his shoulders to stabilize myself, and when he straightened his back and pushed me up, I reached my arms out, stretching for the branch. I felt it under my palms, and using my upper body strength pulled up to get on a tree. Lying on my stomach, I twisted my body and pulled my left leg around the other side of the branch, so I was sitting just in front of my game.

I smiled wildly and removed the knife from the bird's neck, it looked like a smaller version of a hawk, but again my ornithology knowledge was ultimately none existing. I wiped the animal blood from the blade on my pants and put it back in its holder. I took the bird and threw it to the ground, looking down. Daryl still stood under the branch tracing her movement with his blue eyes.

I smiled again as an idea popped into my head. Now, I'm not sure why I kept pushing younger Dixon's buttons, I was usually proper and composed, but something about him made me behave like a silly girl. I was perfectly able to make my way down, yet I chose this. "Hey, Big Guy, are you ready?"

"What for?" He grunted, barely raising his voice, shifting his weight from one leg to another, only sign that my comment made him uncomfortable.

"Well the plan up was great, just didn't really think about going down. So..." I looked at him with a smug smile. "Catch me!"

Daryl had only seconds to process what's this crazy woman above him was talking about, when I swang my leg over the branch facing him and pushed myself off the tree, falling down. I am not stupid; I was ready to roll on impact to minimalize the damage, just if he wasn't quick enough. Or simply in case, Daryl would decide not to react at all. Luckily he responded immediately, stepping forward, arms in front of him, legs spread and knees slightly bent to steady himself for the impact. He caught me almost bridal style as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Impact winded him and caused Daryl to lose his balance and fall on his ass with me still in his arms. I laughed softly, aware of the position I got us in, my body flushed against his. He quickly shoved me off him and stood up, not looking in my direction at all.

"Ya're crazy as they come, woman!" His voice sounded more like a growl, and that just made me laugh harder. Oh, that was a great idea, I think I just found my new favorite activity. Making Daryl Dixon uncomfortable. He shook his head and just walked away, leaving me alone on the forest floor.

I was sitting in front of my blue single-person tent, few hours after the event in the woods, I had a bunch of sticks in my lap, hunting knife in my right hand and tool bag on the ground next to me.

"What you doing?" I glanced up to see Carl standing in front of me, his young face full of interest.

"You'll see when I finish, kiddo." My smile was gentle, or I hoped it was, while I kept sliding my knife on a piece of wood.

"Come on, Miss Elena, please tell me." I noticed that several adults were looking in our direction, sitting just a few steps away in the small group eating lunch: Lori, Shane, joyful T-Dog, and Jaquie, who always smiled. Further away, separately, I could see Dixon brothers. Merle noticed that I watched them and made a kiss face, making me roll my eyes and look back at the kid standing in front of me. I was never very good with children, truth to be told—small babies yes but teenagers that's a different story.

"I'm making bow and arrows so I can go hunting and also, so I have a long-distance weapon without attracting the dead," I explained to him quietly, hoping that not many others will hear my answer. Glancing at their faces, I could tell that I half succeeded.

"Really? That's so cool, can you teach me how to do it? Please!" Carl seemed impressed, but then he was a teenage boy, I guessed many stories I could tell would impress him if I would be willing to share them with anybody. I looked at his excited face and put a smile on my face.

"Tell you what kiddo. When you a bit older and have a bit more muscles to pull back the arrow, I'll teach you. But for now, you can watch what I'm doing, ok?" The boy nodded quickly and sat down next to me, moving my bag just slightly but not out of my reach, carefully observing my every move. Up ahead, I saw Lori smiling at me as in thanks for making her child happy. But I could also feel stares from my right, and then I heard older Dixon speak.

"Where lil' lady like you learned to do shit like that, Blondie?" I stopped carving with a silent sigh and reached for a tool bag and took out a sandpaper piece. I started gently but firmly to drag it along the wood, smoothing the edges. Bidding my time and thinking what to say to that. Am I supposed, to tell the truth or lie my face off? Does it still matter what I did before? I knew that others were still hoping that the military would save them, but me... I knew that it probably won't happen.

I cleared my throat, making a decision, and finally looked at Merle, my face blank, lacking a smile I was sporting just moments ago. "The Farm"

"The Farm? What kind of fuckin' farm teaches that type of survival skills?" Merle's face shows confusion, his southern drawl deepening while he cursed, but it was Shane's eyes I was looking at, and I could see a recognition.

"The one in Williamsburg, Virginia," I answered shortly, glancing again in Dixon brothers' direction.

"No fucking way!" Finally, that triggered something in Merle's head as his eyes widened.

"Watch the language Dixon!" said Lori looking in his direction. Shane stood up and walked over towards me and crouched on the grass in front. I stopped my work, knowing that this conversation was unavoidable and looked over at him, face blank, lips pulled in the thin line, and my eyes' stern glare.

"You're CIA?" he said quietly with a look of disbelief on his face.

"No. FBI, but my unit had survival training there." The man stood up and pulled hands to his face before turning away from me and then back, nearly shouting in my face.

"Then why the fuck are we still here? Where's military, government, where are your buddies?!"

I sighed. I should've known that this will be the reaction, at least from a few of them. They were scared, waiting for help, which will most probably never come. I noticed that more people came around wanting to see what's all the commotion was about. I tucked a few loose strands behind my ears, just a quick way to compose myself, and after a deep breath, I started talking.

"I left my home in Palmetto three days ago. I got an order to go to Atlanta, meet with people, and work on solutions, pull our intels together to find out if it's a terrorist attack, or like a biological weapon. Before I left, I got a phone call from my friend in DC." I closed my eyes for second, wounds of losing Michelle still fresh. I was also looking for the right words to explain rest.

"Capitol was overrun, lost. They lost contact with others. That's all the information I received before lines were cut off. Later that day in Atlanta, you know just before they set the city on fire, I communicated with our people in there. Most agents lost their lives, I've been told not to come in and also that White House has fallen." I looked up along faces in front of me to see what's their reactions were. I saw that they are scared and that last piece of hope they had disappeared after what I said.

"I am sorry I didn't tell you guys earlier it's just--" I stopped myself, thinking for second how to deliver what I wanted to say "I don't know what it means. I don't know if there is any safe place left, if any other government parts are still in place. So I didn't say anything because, how could I take that hope away from you when I don't know by myself what's next."

I collected my tools and shoved them inside the tent and then did this same with the sticks, I gave them one last glance and went into the tent, zipping it shut.


	2. Chapter 2

**44 days**

I was having a dream. I knew that part of my psychological training was to recognize reality from the fantasy. And that was definitely the latter, because there was no way in hell that his strong hands were tracing my calves, his calloused fingers making me shiver, and that his mouth was pressed to my core, licking and sucking giving me the endless pleasure spreading from toes to the top of her head. I moved my hips up, bringing myself closer to his face, which earned me a low growl from his throat's depths.   
"Elena," his voice did wonder to me, but I also realized that it came out near my ear, so way closer then it should be. "C'mon women, wake up!"

I opened my eyes and sat up straight, knife in hand, quickly pressed against someone's throat. "Whoa, easy, it's just me!" I blinked rapidly and saw familiar blue eyes in front of me, hand grasping my wrist, trying to ease the knife's pressure off himself. He was crouched next to my sleeping bag, ready for the day, tents fold open, allowing the flow of the fresh air. I pulled away and put my hand over my heart.

"Shit Daryl, this isn't how you wake up people, at least not me! I could fucking kill you!" My voice was still groggy from the sleep, and my mind was spinning from remnants of the dream he interrupted. Seeing him here in my tent just seconds after his image - 'Stop it silly!'

"Ya said to wake ya up when I'm goin' for a hunt. " I closed my eyes, trying to even out my breathing.

"Yeah, give me a ten, and I'll be there." He grunted and gave me one last glance before crouching out of the tent.

It was more than a month since we set up our camp at the quarry and my revelations. We were hunting and sending Glenn to gather necessary supplies, we had laundry and cooking duties and perimeter checks. It was usually myself and Dixon brothers in the woods looking for a game for the whole group. Surprisingly, the older brother wasn't that horrible after closer interactions. Of course, he still called me 'Blondie' and 'Sweetcheeks' or 'Dollface' and looked at my chest every opportunity he could get, but after what I told them about myself, he seemed to respect me a little bit more. Maybe because he was in the military once or perhaps because he has morals even if they are a bit twisted sometimes.

Today Merle was going on a run with Glenn, though, so it was just younger Dixon and me. We planned to make it an overnight trip and hunt for something more than only squirrels or birds. Andrea and Amy offered to take a boat they found by the lake and try to catch some fish, so hopefully, we will have enough food to last us for a few days by tomorrow afternoon. If Glenn will grab all the items from the list I gave him, I would smoke some of the meat and make a nice jerky. About the only thing, I didn't fuck up in the kitchen department.

I quickly changed my clothes, including wet panties, and I smiled, remembering a vivid dream from just a few moments ago. It's only because I spend so much time with him recently and because I didn't have sex for months. No need to read into it. Right?

Once dressed, I put on my reigns and stashed throwing knives inside holders, the gun secured on my waist belt. I checked my quiver and counted the arrows, in the backpack I put all the necessary items for an overnight hunting trip and rolled an extra sleeping bag to attach it to the top of the pack.

"How much longer woman?" Daryl's voice startled me, so I quickly left the tent, spotting him next to the entrance.

"Jeez I'm coming, let me just fix my hair" He gave me a funny look "You don't want me to get grabbed, do you?" It came out harsher then I intended, but I just ignored it and pulled my hair down and run my fingers through it. Blonde curls spread all the way to the small of my back, I could fix it before I came out of the tent, but after my dream, I felt the need to show them to Daryl. Since that day in the woods, when I was gathering things to make my bow, I wanted to make an impression on him and see how much I can push him, and my hair was the thing I liked about myself the most, well just after boobs. I quickly pulled it into a simple plaid and then twisted it, on the top of my head, securing everything with a hair tie. I could feel man's eyes on me through all that process, but when I finally looked at Daryl, he turned around and started walking towards the woods.

  
We were walking for most of the day, caught a few squirrels and three perky rabbits when we finally decided to set a camp next to a stream we found. Now when I say we caught that game, I mean mainly Daryl. I am good with my homemade bow, but shooting unmoving targets during training isn't exactly this same as using it on animals. One of the rabbits was mine, but that was an accident, but Daryl doesn't need to know that.

We were tracking a deer for the past two hours, but it turned unsuccessful, and we could always pick up its trail tomorrow. Daryl was setting the perimeter with a string and some old cans so we would be notified of any movements during the night. I started skinning the animals putting the guts and useless parts into the plastic bin bag we brought with us.

"I'll run the bag out, circle around, and take the meat to the creek," I told Daryl, and after receiving a nod, I took off quickly and run for about fifteen minutes in the opposite direction of the tracks we saw today. If there is any deer here, the last thing we want is for the dead to eat it. I dropped the bag, dug a shallow hole in the ground, and ditched inside, covering it back up with dirt and leaves, then I circled back towards our night camp, whistled softly while passing why so Daryl would know it's just me and jogged to the water.

I started washing the meat and cut it into the strips, made sure that I cleaned it properly of any spare blood, and put it down on a clean rug on a boulder next to me to cool down. That's the problem with overnight trips, we had to make sure that whatever we caught won't go bad. We actually worked well together, Daryl was quiet, but it wasn't uncomfortable unless I said something stupid, usually with a sexual context, which made him blush and tell me to shut up. Now that I was thinking about it, I wasn't that different from Merle, when it came to his younger brother, and that thought gave me goosebumps. I scooped the meat and went back towards the camp, bent over the lines to not make any unnecessary noise, and sat down next to a small fire Daryl started when I was gone.

"Pass me my bag, please," I asked him, and he reached towards it and took few steps, so he was next to me, sitting down next to me on the ground to share the work. I took my clean rug from the backpack and set it down on the rock in front of us, and then I passed Daryl a tub of salt. We worked quickly and quietly till everything was done, took a few pieces, and started cooking them while the rest was put into the zip bags and then to into my pack.

"So, how did you learn to hunt like that and using this crossbow?" I asked him and looked in his direction. He was sitting next to me, but with enough space between, and he was turning the meat around. His blue eyes met my grey ones, and his face had a blank expression. I knew that he didn't let people in, but I hoped that the question was innocent enough for him to answer.

"My old man and uncle." He started slowly turning his gaze toward the fire. "Money was tight, and my da usually drank it away, so Merle and I had to learn how to get our own food." Ok, so maybe that question wasn't as safe as I thought. I knew that the last thing he was looking for was pitty over a little boy who grew up in a though home. So I settled for an answer, which hopefully would release the tension.

"Well, sure as hell, it's handy right now. No matter the reasons, I'm glad you learned. I couldn't ask for a better hunting partner" He looked at me again with a slight frown. "'Cause, you know, Merle talks way too much." That finally made him smile. Alright, that wasn't a smile, small side smirk, but I knew I couldn't ask for more, not from him, not yet. That didn't mean I will stop trying.

"What about ya? Were ya really a fed?"

"Really?" I looked at him and slapped his arm. "We don't like that term, just for the future. Yeah, I was. Behavioral Analysis Unit to be precise."

"And what's that?" He side glanced at me, unsure what kind of job I actually did. My nose crinkled as I was thinking of explaining what I did in life before all this shit without sounding like I was bragging.

"Well, basically we were catching criminals, mainly serial killers, based on their behavior. You analyze how the victim was killed and left what was done to them, where was the body left. We were profilers." I was looking blankly in front of me now, thinking about days on the job and all the evil people I've met and spoken to. How many close calls I had with death and yet nothing compared to the nightmare we're living in now.

"Not the most useful skill in zombie apocalypse though. I cannot just talk my way out with walkers by telling them how watching their moma kill herself made them what they are now, right?" I looked at him with a serious face, even if my words were laced with sarcasm.

"Whatever lay down, I'll take the first watch." He stood up abruptly to check the perimeter, and I was looking at him, my gaze following his actions.

"Ok, but wake me up in few hours so we can swap you need your sleep as well, Dixon."  
It was still early, but I knew we'll be waking up before the first light, plus all this walking around in the woods was tiring, but something didn't sit well with me. Daryl finished our conversation abruptly, even though he seemed interested in my story before.

What did I actually know about younger Dixon? Not a lot, most time we spend together, we were quiet and shared only a few stories before coming back to camp, most of our talks focusing on subjects of hunting or Merle talking his mouth off about nothing in particular. The rest of the information I had was just observation and some comments from Merle, and I didn't know how much to believe in his words. Alright, so Daryl is in his mid-thirties and lived in Georgia his whole life, most of it with Merle, grabbing some odd jobs before they moved on. I suspected all that moving around was because older Dixon was doing drugs and owed money to many people or was trying to avoid jail time.

But that doesn't explain Daryl's social awkwardness and how guarded he behaves. He definitely is an introvert and doesn't like to be touched even when his brother puts an arm on him, I noticed Daryl goes still and tense. That suggests some sort of abuse, but not from Merle, no, he wouldn't be able to look at him like he does. Daryl actually looks up to his big brother. I let a low growl of frustration. This new world makes me go crazy; I could separate myself from any personal emotions before all of this, but now we had people to look after, people to protect, and as much as it was flattering, I wasn't used to someone depend on her in that way. I started to care for those people, and my weird fascination with Daryl Dixon was undoubtedly unhealthy. I shouldn't be so invested in trying to get to know him. And for sure, I shouldn't give a damn if I hurt his feelings or stirred something from his past.

"Ya thinkin' so loud, that ya'll attract all the geeks from this woods." His low voice startled me, and I sat up in my makeshift bed. Daryl was sitting across from me, on the other side of our little campsite, cleaning his crossbow, eyes not leaving the weapon, but I could tell that he was alert, ready for anything to make a move in the dark. When I didn't reply straight away, he quickly glanced in my direction, one brow risen in a silent question. I let a small sigh escape my lips as I run my hand over my face.

"What I said before." The words I spoke were quiet and soft, eyes locked on him, watching for any body language changes. "I know that we don't tell each other a lot, but I'd like to think that you don't mind my company. The last few hunting trips were pleasant, and you didn't call me stupid in like a week, so that's progress."

I watched his lips twitch a little making me form my own small smile on my full lips. "But that last comment, about how I'd sometimes talk to suspects..." I stopped when Daryl stiffened, and a muscle on his face twitched while he clenched his jaw. It was very subtle, he was good, very good at hiding his emotions. But I was very good at what I was doing before the world went to shit, so I noticed it even in the dark of the night.

"There, that was this same reaction you have now. Now I don't want to pry... "

"Then don't" He interrupted me, his voice harsh, hands grabbing his weapon just a little bit harder than necessary. I looked down at my hands, thinking on how to play it out. Talking to Daryl was like a long and complicated chess game, one silly move, and checkmate.

"Alright, I just wanted you to know that I didn't mean anything by it." With that, I laid back down, turning on my side, so I was facing away from him, giving a man some sort of privacy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Day 45**

The next day was quiet; the silence between Daryl and me uncomfortable. He woke me up a few hours before dusk, which meant that he took the long shift, nothing new in this aspect. He laid down without saying anything after waking me up, and I spend the next few hours watching the area and thinking about our conversation from before. Daryl woke up before I even had a chance to shake him awake. So lack of sleep, that's another thing I can add to my list of what I know about Daryl Dixon.

We quickly packed what little we had and started trekking through woods, following the tracks we noticed yesterday. Finding them wasn't that hard, especially not for a brown-haired man. What turned out to be a challenge was picking up a fresh trail. We walked around for good three hours before Daryl crouched down to touch a set of hoof prints when I followed his action I could tell that those tracks were fresher than the one we found previously.

Next to me, the man looked around the forest ground and pointed the way he thought we had to go. It took us another hour to finally find the animal, we spotted it standing in the middle of a small clearing, nibbling on grass. Daryl stopped and rose his clenched fist, signaling for me to stay still. I stopped dead in my tracks and slowly took an arrow out of my quiver, and lined it up on my bow and stretched the string. Steading my breathing and not taking my eyes out of our game, I was waiting for Dixon's directions. He also prepped his weapon and was watching the animal intensely.

"Three, two, one," His whisper was barely hearable, and once he said 'one', we both released our arrows. His bolt hit the deer in its side while mine pierced its belly. Animal yelped in pain and took off instantly, its steps uneasy. "C'mon!" After hearing Daryl's voice, I moved quickly jogging after the animal, to not lose it in the woods again. I was pretty sure that I nicked some significant organs, and even though it didn't go down, it should bleed out soon enough; in that case, we didn't want to lose sight of it and allow geeks a free lunch.

We followed the trace of blood left on the ground and leaves for some time when we heard a piercing scream, and I realized how close to the quarry we actually were. It sounded like one of the women or even one of the kids. Oh God, I hope it's not Carl or Sophia and that it's nothing. I quickly looked at Daryl. "That's coming from the camp, hurry up Dixon," Before he could react, I jogged in the direction we heard screaming. It didn't take us long to approach the edge of the camp. Daryl moved in front of me at some point, shoving me behind him when we heard concoction just in front of us. Advancing slowly, we finally emerged into a clearing, and I could see familiar faces of Shane, T-dog, Dale, and others. They all were pointing some sort of weapon in our direction.

"We surrender?" I joked while Shane put his gun down, mumbling under his nose. Dixon, on the other hand... well, he was pissed. And I wasn't surprised when I realized that on the ground just in front of us was a headless geek and half-eaten deer. Our fucking deer, the same we were tracking since yesterday.

"Son of a bitch" Brown-haired man moved from in front me, around the bushes towards the deer. "That's mah deer!" His accent deepening signaling how angry he actually was.

"Look at it, all gnawed on by this filthy, disease-bearing, motherless, poxy bastard. " With each word, he gave a sharp kick to the geeks' side, letting his aggression go somewhere else than people in front of us.

"Calm down, son. That's not helping," Oh Dale. Why would you say it to Dixon? Do you have a death wish?

"What do you know, old man. Why don't you take that stupid hat and go back to 'On Golden Pond'. I've been trackin' this deer for miles." He pointed a finger in Dale's general direction and moved on to retrieve his bolt. I coughed as a reminder that I'm still here.

"We. We tracked that deer for miles, Dixon!" Saying that I finally made my way to the dead animal and crouched down to get my arrow. "And by the looks of it out of our shots, mine was more deadly, so technically this deer is mine, you asshole!"

I quickly stood up and wiped the blood off my arrow with my rug, then I put it back into the quiver and made my way back to the camp. On my way out, I made sure to push Daryl out of my way with my shoulder. Who the hell does he think he is? We've been hunting together for months now, and yes, of course, I may not be as skilled as he is, but for fuck sake, I am not terrible.

Ignoring the men, I patted Amy and Andrea on the shoulder while walking past them. "Good that you back safe" I gave them a small smile and made my way towards the camp to find Lori.

She stood next to the RV with Carol and a few other women. When she saw me she smiled, but I could tell it was strained, and I started to have a bad feeling. I approached them and took the zip bags with meat out of my backpack, watching people in front of me carefully.

"That's all the meat we got, it should be enough for a few days. We got a deer as well, but fucking geek gnawed on it before we could get to it." I passed the bags to Lori and Carol, as they were the best cooks out of us, trust me you don't want me to cook you dinner unless you're willing to be ill after eating it.

"Thanks, Elena, it means a lot. Listen-" Lori started playing with her fingers, after putting the meat bags on a small foldable table next to the RV's door. So there was something wrong. "There isn't a good way of saying it. Merle was left behind on that run, and we know that Daryl will be so angry, and he is really unpredictable in that state. Can you try to calm him down when the guys gonna tell him?" She sputtered, and for a second there a thought I misunderstood what she said.

Merle left behind. What does it even mean? Before I could ask any more questions, I could hear Daryl shouting for his brother, and I felt so bad for him. And angry with everyone who went for that run, how could you leave someone behind?! I mean yeah, sure Merle Dixon is a colossal dick and dumbass, but that's not the reason to just-

"Merle, get yur ass out here. We got us some squirrel." He smirked in my direction when he noticed me looking at him "Yes, I said 'we', women. Merle!" I really hoped that my face didn't show any emotions because that was just heartbreaking. And I was also slightly concerned for whoever will deliver the news to him.

"Daryl, slow up a bit. I need to talk to you." Shane was the one to speak, and behind him, I could see the rest of men with a new face in between them.

"Hey, Amy, who's that guy behind Shane?" I asked the blonde woman who was now standing next to me on my right.

"You won't believe it. That's Lori's husband." The fuck? I looked at browned haired women and then at the new guy and tried to hide my surprised face. This is going to be interesting. Making a mental note to ask Lori all about that, I focused on the conversation in front of me.

"There was a problem in Atlanta" Shane touched his face for a second, showing how uncomfortable he was saying it and then moved his hands to rest on his hips. Daryl looked around and hold my gaze for a second before he took a few steps.

"He dead?"

"We're not sure." After that, Daryl moved towards Shane, his voice getting louder.

"He either is or he ain't."

"No easy way to say this so I'll just say it." I could see this new guy move forward, and towards Daryl, he wasn't looking directly at him at all.

"Who are you?"

"Rick Grimes"

" _Rick Grimes_ , ya got something ya want to tell me?" Oh, I could tell that Daryl is starting to lose his patience. Yeah, I know, he doesn't have a lot of it in the first place.

"Your brother was a danger to us all, so I handcuffed him on a roof, hooked him to a piece of metal. He's still there" When this Rick guy answered, I found myself moving forward too, annoyed at what he was saying. What stopped me was Daryl and his face full of tears when he turned around away from the new guy. He glanced at me for a second before wiping his eyes and then clenched his jaw, turning back to Rick.

"Let me process this. So, ya handcuffed mah brother to a roof, and ya left 'im there?"

"Yeah," Answer was short, and I could hear the shame in the new guy's voice, then with anger on his face, Daryl threw a string of squirrels we caught this morning at Rick Grimes and was ready to beat the shit out of the guy. That was until Shane literally tackled younger Dixon to the ground. Shane quickly stood up while brown-haired men was still lying on the ground, but I could see him reaching for his hunting knife, which was secured on his belt.

"Daryl -" I was cut off by T-Dog, who dropped the logs he was collecting.

"Hey, watch out for the knife!" At this same moment, Daryl got up and swang his arm at Rick, who dodged it. That didn't stop younger Dixon, he moved again, aiming at the men in front of him, but Rick managed to avoid it again and get a hold of Daryl's wrist pushing it away from both of them. Shane sneaked behind Daryl and put him in a headlock. With that, Dixon was shoved to the ground, with Shane's arm still around his neck. In the meantime, Rick pried the knife and dropped on the ground away from the fight.

"You'd best let me go!" Daryl was still struggling and trying to get away. "Nah, I think it's better if I don't" I rolled my eyes and finally made my way towards the three of them.

"Shane, let him go!" Using my stern 'work' voice, it usually worked well with criminals and kids, mainly with kids. "Daryl stop struggling, please. Just calm down for a second so we can get a full story out of them." I crouched in front of him and looked into his blue eyes, now full of tears and rage, his chest rising quickly and his fists clenched, one by his side and the other around Shane's arm, trying to ease the hold. He looked at me for a while and nodded, making me smile just a little.

"Shane, let him go! You know I can handle him if necessary." Both of them looked at me now, one unsure of what to do and the other with a look of pain in his eyes, even though it disappeared very quickly. Shane finally let him go, so I took the opportunity to turn toward this Rick guy and T-Dog.

"Great, now can someone tell us what the fuck happened in Atlanta, and how could you leave a man behind?" I put my hands on my hips, face blank, but my eyebrows rose slightly.

"What I did was not on a whim, Ma'am. His brother does not work and play well with others. He beat T-Dog and was shooting from the rooftop, attracting more and more walkers to our location." Daryl and I exchanged a look, he was biting his lower lip, a clear sign of anxiety. Yeah, unfortunately, what this man was saying was sounding precisely like Merle Dixon.

"It's not Rick's fault." That came from T-dog, "I had a key. I dropped it." Now my face was for sure, showing surprise and confusion, but it was Daryl who voiced what I was thinking.

"You couldn't pick it up?"

"I dropped it down the drain" I run my hand over my face trying to compose myself, while Daryl just scoffed in disbelief.

"If it's supposed to make me feel better, it don't." He finally stood up and tried to walk away from the group—T-Dog's voice stopping him in his tracks.

"Maybe this will. I chained the door to the roof so the geeks couldn't get at him with a padlock." I looked up at them, confused.

"Are you saying that Merle is alive?" I asked in a low voice.

"Yeah"

"You fucking idiots. Don't you think that's the kind of information you should start with?!" I nearly shouted in Shane's face, seeing as he was the one to start all this show.

"Hell with all y'all. Just tell me where he is so that I can go get him."

"He'll show you." Lori's voice was calm, but when I turned around to face her, she was anything but. Oh, I see how it is. The first day back and the Grimes family already got problems.

"Yeah, I'm going back."

* * *

As I was getting ready in my tent, I tried to not listen to what else people got to say about all that. I re-checked if my knives were secure and put my short sleeve blue flannel shirt over the reins. I checked if my Glock is fully loaded and put it in the holster on my right side. I put some water and granola bars in small backpack Glenn found in Atlanta some time ago. I took my machete and made my way to the track I knew we gonna be taking. I could see Glenn already sitting in the driver's seat while Daryl was pacing the truck's back. I walked past Rick and T-Dog and put my machete down on the floor of the vehicle. I pushed myself up on my arms and got into the back of the truck, making Daryl stop his pacing. He looked at me, his blue eyes narrowing

"What the hell ya doing here, women?"

I just looked at him calmly and picked up my weapon "What does it look like I'm doing, Dixon? Did you really think that I would let you go without me?" He just scoffed and mumbled under his nose, something about a stupid woman.

"Hey! Don't go breaking my records now! We went all 15 days without you calling me stupid." At that comment, I could see his lips twitch just a little, and then he made his way to the seats at the front of the car and used his foot to pressed a horn.

"Hurry up, y'all!" Rick and T-Dog made their way towards us, the new guy was wearing a sheriffs uniform, I guess he was a cop just like Shane, before all this.

"Ma'am, I don't think it's safe for you to go with us. The city is completely overrun, and it might be dangerous." I let a small laugh escape my lips, the others following my steps, except Daryl, of course. That guy doesn't laugh.

"Rick, this is Elena, we were telling you about her last night." Glenn introduced me, and it got me really interested in what they were telling him about me.

"SSA Elena James, not that it matters anymore. Trust me, I had my experience with the dead already, and yet I'm still here alive." I spun my machete in a circle, careful to not nick Daryl with a blade. After that, we finally were ready to go, Rick taking the passenger side at the front, T-Dog climbing up to sit with younger Dixon and me.

* * *

The journey to Atlanta was uneventful, except few snarky comments from Daryl. Glenn finally parked the car, and we all jumped out, making our way to a chained fence, to go through it. The first time I saw the city after that day on a highway and boy let me tell you it was horrible. The streets were abandoned except for a few geeks - or walkers, as Rick calls them. I could see abandoned cars and here and there we passed burned down buildings, seeing what napalm actually did to Atlanta and how deserted it looked.

It's kind of image you'd only see in a movie, laughing and asking your friends what would you do if apocalypse, of any kind, would hit. And now we fucking living it and it's scary to think about because it seems like humanity lost and what was left of us was in the minority.

"Merle! We ain't even having this conversation." Daryl's gravelly voice pulled me out of my thoughts. It seems as he and Officer Friendly were having a go at each other. Again.

"We are. You know the geography, it's your call" That last part was intended for Glenn, who, in fact, like I mentioned before, is a walking map of Atlanta.

"Merle's closest. The guns would mean doubling back. Merle first." I was so happy when Glenn said it. I didn't know if I could stop Daryl if he'd decide to punch Rick, or I should say I wasn't sure if I was willing to do so. I was pissed too, you don't leave people behind like that, it doesn't matter how fucking annoying they are.

We jogged through the streets for about five minutes before making it to the convenience store they left Merle in. I heard a low growl behind me and T, so I quickly spun on my heel and rose my blade into dead men's eye. He was wearing a suit, now shredded in many places, his stomach ripped open and once-white shirt now deep red and brown from all the blood. As quickly as I sunk my machete in, I pulled it out, pushing caracas to the ground, making the rest of my group look at me. I gave a quick smile in their direction before advancing to the front, following Daryl through a ransacked shop. He gestured for me to take a right, while he went to the left and we both slowly and quietly moved forward, I heard the swish of Daryl's crossbow and then sound of a body going down. When I rounded the corner, I was met with an arrow pointed straight between my eyes. I used my left hand to gently push it down cocking my eyebrow a little.

"Come on, Dixon, you would be super sad if you'd kill me. Who would make you laugh and complement that sexy body of yours if I'd be gone?" He just rolled his eyes and scowled at me before going in the direction we should be going. I looked at Rick, and he had a weird expression on his face. Like a combination of disbelieve, amusement, and resentment all at this same time.

"Don't worry, Rick," T-Dog said, chuckling. "That's just the relationship they have, she pushes his buttons, and he tries not to kill her." I sent a sweet smile in their direction and moved after Daryl. We finally made our way up the stairs to where the roof door was. When on the top, Daryl made space for T-Dog to use bolt cutters on a padlock and then kicked the door rushing first to get his brother. We all followed him through a platform to a pipe where Merle supposed to be. Yeah, supposed to be...

"No! No!" Daryl's cries broke me a little, he was pacing, and tears rolled down his face. The handcuffs were still attached to the pipe blood all over them, on the floor bloodied handsaw and... a hand.

Impatient prick cut off his own hand. Fuck.


	4. Chapter 4

I was watching the scene in front of me with a blank expression on my face. Don't show any weakness, to anyone Elena! Merle fucking Dixon cut off his own hand because he couldn't wait few more hours for us to save him. On the other hand, I did understand why he did it. Because how could he know that anybody was coming for him? Left alone in Georgia's heat, no water or food with walkers trying to breakthrough. Yeah, I would probably panic as well, though I know that you just need to break your thumb to get out of handcuffs. 

Daryl was still pacing, gripping his crossbow and tears visibly streaming down his face. His usually bright eyes were darker, and I could see just how angry he was. Angry and heartbroken. In a swift motion, he was in front of the T-Dog, who stood next to Rick with me on the other side of the cop. Daryl pointed his weapon at the dark-skinned man, making him stumble a little from fear.   
Next second I know Officer Friendly is pointing his gun at Dixon's head.

"I won't hesitate. I don't care if every walker in the city hears it." I quickly pulled my own gun out and pressed it to Rick's head, loading the bullet into the chamber.

"Yeah, me neither. Put your gun down now that is exactly kind of power play that caused all of this in the first place. I don't know what kind of cop you were, but I believe more in talking people out of committing the crime than using force. Unless it's necessary." My voice was cold, and I could see men's face muscles clench. He slowly rose his hands, and I took his gun and tugged it in my belt. I made my way around him and put my Glock into its holster stopping next to Daryl.

"Daryl, please put your bow down. You know that hurting T won't help, you do know that." My voice was soft and warm, my eyes searching his, while I put my right hand on his upper arm. He tensed even more if possible, but slowly moved his eyes to mine. I gave him a little smile before continuing. "There is a trail of blood, we can follow him, and we will find him Daryl, but you need to push past your anger and work with us. We will help you, that's why we're here." He was still breathing heavily, but he put his weapon down and stormed off from T-Dog and myself, making me release his arm. My hand felt cold all of a sudden, and I didn't like that feeling. 

"Ya got a do-rag or somethin' ?" He directed this question to T, and I could see that he is trying to stay calm and that this was his way of trying to make amends. Dark-skinned men just nodded and grabbed a rag from his pocket, handing it over. 

Dixon moved towards the hand and wrapped it in a piece of cloth. I, on the other hand, was already ahead, looking down and analyzing the blood trail. 

"He must've used a tourniquet." I heard his comment and nodded, following the trace of red liquid on the ground.

"Yeah, probably his belt. Otherwise, there would be much more blood." My comment finally made them look at what I was doing. "He also went this way, if you finished here?" Without waiting for them, I made my way towards the other emergency exit. Blood splatters were less visible but still there.

I pulled out my machete and waited for others to join me. I let Daryl go first and stopped Rick in his tracks handing him his gun back. And then whispered so only he could hear. "After all of this is done, you and I will have a nice chat about how to handle Daryl Dixon, Officer Grimes."  
  


* * *

We followed a trace of blood all the way down to the small kitchen. We found out that Merle, son of a bitch cauterized his stump and got out through a small window. Additionally, when I touched the flat piece of metal, he used it was still warm. Which meant that we missed him by maybe an hour, if not less. Stupid, stupid Dixon. How do we suppose to find him in the city full of the dead, without knowing which way he went? The most logical solution for him would be to go back to camp, but Merle was hurt and probably dehydrated. Thinking logically was perhaps the last thing on his 'to-do list'. 

I looked through the broken window to see if there are any traces left to follow him. Unfortunately, since he managed to stop the bleeding, it also meant we had nothing to track. I could hear guys going at it again, and a heavy sigh escaped my lips. All this trip so far feels like babysitting spoiled five years old kids. 

"You call that surviving? Just wondered out in the streets, maybe passing out?" T-dog really didn't get it. Merle was left alone, he couldn't know that we or anyone will come to get him.

"No worse than being handcuffed and left to rot by ya, sorry pricks!" That comment made both T-Dog and Glenn look away, shame visible on both of their faces, I mentally congratulated Daryl for that. I turned around to look at them at this same as Dixon faced Rick. "Ya couldn't kill. I ain't so worried about some dumb dead bastard."

"What about a thousand dumb dead bastards? Different story?"

"You take a tally, do what ya want. I'm gonna go get 'im." Daryl started to move pass sheriff towards me and the window when Rick put his hand on Dixon's chest to stop him.

"Get your hands off me. Ya can't stop me!"

"I don't blame you, Daryl. He's family, I get that. I went through hell to find mine. I know exactly how you feel. He can't get far with that injury. We could help you check a few blocks around, but only if we keep a level head." Alrighty then, it seems like Rick does know how to talk instead of using his gun first. I could see that Daryl was chewing on his bottom lip, nervous trick off his. He was considering what the cop told him.

"I could do that." Rick nodded and looked around at us to see what we think of that plan. I just smiled, knowing that I wouldn't leave Daryl alone even if they didn't agree. After all, I came here to help him find his brother.

"Only if we get those guns first. I'm not strolling the streets of Atlanta with just my good intentions, OK?" T's comment made me laugh, and that were the final words, sealing our rescue plan.  
  


* * *

We sat on the ground around Glenn, who was explaining his plan. He used a marker on a floor and some office supplies to show our positions. It was risky, but I had faith that he knew what he was doing. It was Rick who voiced everyone's concerns. 

"You're not doing this alone."

"Even I think it's a bad idea and I don't like you much" Nice Daryl, way to go, a great way to make friends!

"It's a good idea, OK. Plus, I won't be alone. Just hear me out. If we go out there in a group, we're slow, drawing attention. If we do it my way, I can move fast. Look." He moved towards the map he drew on a floor and started to move some office supplies in.

"That's the tank, five blocks from where we are now. That's the bag of guns. Here's the alley I dragged you into when we first met. That's where Daryl, Elena, and I will go."

"Why us?" Daryl asked. "Your crossbow's quieter than their guns, and I saw what Elena can do with her knives. That's why she will go with me. She'll cover me." I just nodded my head, hand on my chin while analyzing his map carefully. "While Daryl is here in the alley, we run up the street, grab the bag."

"But you got us elsewhere?" That came out of Rick, he looked unsure. I knew that he didn't want to risk Glenn's life.

"You and T-Dog, right. " Asian man moved a rubber to another place. "You'll be in this alley here."

"Two blocks away. Why?"

"We may not be able to come back the same way. Walkers might cut us off. Or in case we got separated. If that happens, we won't go back to Daryl. We'll go forward instead—all the way around to that alley where you guys are. Whichever direction we go, we got you in both places to cover us. Afterward, we'll all meet back here." Rick nodded and looked impressed. 

"Hey, kid. What'd you do before all this?" 

"Delivered pizzas. Why?" After Glenn answered Daryl's question, we all just look at each other, visibly impressed. I was happy that Glenn was in our group, he is a quick thinker and finds solutions quickly. And of course, his knowledge of this city is beneficial.   
  


* * *

We were climbing down the ladder, I was already waiting for others to join me. I scanned the area with my eyes, checked for any potential danger, and was happy to see nothing in the alley. I made my way to the dumpster, took off my flannel, and chucked it on the ground next to a bin bag. That left me only in my grey wife-beater with reins strapped over it. I made sure that all my throwing knives are there and secured my machete on my belt. I turned around to Daryl, and he was already looking at me, his eyes unreadable. I reached to my holster and passed my Glock to him.

"Just in case, I have my knives, but it takes longer to reload a crossbow. Please don't damage it or lose. I'd hate to break your pretty face." I gave him a sweet smile and waited for any response. Daryl finally took it carefully from my hand, making sure not to actually touch my skin, and tugged it at the back of his pants.

"Be careful, El." His voice was quiet, and for a second, I thought I misheard him. And he called me El! Alright, that's not a time or place to start swooning over Dixon. 

"Always, Dixon. C'mon Glenn, let's go." 

I followed Glenn when he started running through the gate, we turned left and jogged forward, using cars as a cover. I took out two knives, one in each hand, and grasped them tightly. That's just in case. I was used to tough situations and dangerous missions, but it was different. The thought of being bitten scared the hell out of me. I didn't have my bulletproof vest or any other armor, and I just felt valuable in Atlanta's open streets. 

We quickly ran towards the tank and jumped over the pile of sandbags, hiding behind it for a second. There were two geeks in the path like they would be guarding the bag. I glanced at Glenn before speaking up.

"Alright, I throw, you run straight away, I'll be right behind you." When I finished speaking, I put my right arm up, getting ready for a throw, steady, breath in and out, release. After the first knife, I quickly send the other one in the direction of the second walker. Both geeks hit the ground when Glenn was halfway between them and me. I jogged after him and took my weapons out of the walkers' heads, wiping the blood and brain matter on their clothes. The stench of decomposing bodies was overwhelming. I've seen and smelled my fair share of dead bodies, but none of them stank as badly as walkers. I checked if there weren't any on Glenn's other side and spun around to watch our backs. A few seconds later, I heard Glenn's heavy breathing, and I glanced to check if he was alright. He had a bag of guns in one hand and a sheriff's hat in the other. There were few geeks behind him, but still far enough for us to make our escape. 

"Great, this time, I'm going first, so nothing jumps you." I led the way and helped Glenn climb over sandbags. We ran towards the alleyway when I heard yells from that direction. I run a bit faster, stoping in the gate, and trying to understand the scene in front of me. Daryl was lying on the ground, his crossbow next to him. Two Latino guys were kicking the shit out of him, while the scrawny third one, was next to Daryl. They looked in our direction. 

"That's it! That's the bag, vato, take it!" They started running at us, and I sprang to action. My fist was launching at the first guy with a bald head and heavy built, so I put all my momentum into a punch and hit him in the nose with my knife's hilt. That sent him to the ground but also made me drop my blade. I looked at the other guy. He wasn't that well-build, but he had a baseball bat, which gave him an advantage. I put my other knife back in the holster; if I wanted to win this, I needed both of my hands. He launched himself at me, and I quickly dodged, grabbing the bat in my hands. Holding onto the weapon, I used his speed and force to spin him towards the wall. His back hit the side of the building, and I punched him in the face, sending my knee straight to his groin at this same time. I didn't have time to react because I was pulled away from him by vato Number One, and he shoved me into a dumpster. My back and head smashed into it, making me see the spots for a second, and I felt myself slide down to the ground.

Before I could regain my strength, they grabbed Glenn and dragged him towards the car, which appeared out of nowhere. "Daryl! Elena!" I saw Daryl sending one of his bolts at them, and it hit the bald guy in the ass. That wasn't enough, though. They still managed to shove Glenn into the car, and seconds after that, the car took off.

I managed to get up and saw Daryl, who was shouting after them. I made my way towards the scrawny guy, who got left behind, my face cold, and eyes shooting daggers, a small smile on my face. The smile I always allowed myself when I was interrogating some horrible people, off the books. Yes, it did happen, sometimes in the spur of the moment when someone's life was at stake. Not best of my moments in life, but now I was using it as a weapon. Because this little Latino dick and his friends attacked Daryl and took Glenn. And he was going to tell me exactly where they went. 

I pushed him to the wall, my forearm under his chin, one of my knives on his cheek. "Well, hello, puto! Now you and I will have a friendly conversation, and you'll answer my questions - " Before I could finish Rick and T-Dog run into the alley, while Daryl tried to get his own answers out of the little guy. Rick stopped him and turned into my direction. 

"Elena, let him go, we need to go, this place is full of walkers."

"They took Glenn. Little bastard and his little bastard homie friends! I'm gonna stomp your ass!" Daryl was shouting and trying to get past sheriff.

"Guys! Guys! We're cut off!" T-Dog said, and that made us look around.

"Get to the ladder, go!" After that, I shoved the little guy and grabbed his top, pushing him towards the ladder. I let T go first, then the vato and then me, the other two close behind.   
  
It took us about five minutes to get back to the office, where we planned all of this, and I pushed the scrawny guy towards the chair. Smile again at my lips, raising my eyebrow, I cracked my knuckles.

"So, let's talk now, puto."

"OK, Elena, could I speak to him first?" Rick stood next to me and placed his hand on my shoulder. I lifted my head to look at him, his face gentle but hand squeezed harder than necessary. I nodded and sat upon the desk in front of the guy. 

"What's your name?" 

"Miguel"

"Good, those men you were with, we need to know where they went."

"I ain't telling you nothing" Kid was trying to play a macho, but he couldn't be older than seventeen, and his attitude just seemed funny.

"Jesus, man, what the hell happened back there?" T-Dog was sitting on a chair on my left; he looked tired and upset. 

"Told you! This little turd and his douchebag friends came out of nowhere and jumped me." Daryl's vocabulary will never stop to amuse me.

"You are the one who jumped me, puto. Screaming about trying to find his brother like it's my damn fault."

"They took Glenn. Could've taken Merle too."

"Merle? What kind of hick name is that?" Oh, Miguel, you do have a death wish. I stood up and went to Glenn's backpack, lying on the chair in the corner of the room. Behind me, I could hear Daryl's angry yells and a commotion. I unzipped the bag and took a rag out, turning back to Latino kid. 

"Kid, let me show you what happened to the last guy who spoke like that about Merle." I dropped the hand on his lap and sat back on the desk. Daryl, obviously following my train of thought, added. 

"I'm gonna start with the feet this time." The kid was standing by the wall now after he jumped out of his seat, seeing bloody body parts obviously startled him. A brown-hair man was holding him by the front of his top. Before he could do any more damage, Rick shoved Daryl back, away from Miguel, and kneeled down to speak to him again.

"The men you were with took our friend. All we wanna do is talk to them, see if we can work something out." The kid looked at us and slowly nodded his head.

"Great, you get the info I'll be back in a second." I stood up and went out of the room to find a nice corner to relive myself. 

"Elena, wait." Daryl was following me, his crossbow on his back. 

"What's up, Dixon? I really will be back in a minute." 

"Ya alright? Ya hit ya head quite hard." I smiled softly at that and saw how uncomfortable this made him. He wasn't really looking at me and was chewing on his bottom lip, something I found extremely sweet and sexy at this same time. 

"Daryl, I'm fine, don't worry about it. I'll probably have a headache tomorrow, but I don't have any signs of concussion." I took one step towards him "How about you? They got quite a few kicks at you, your ribs, OK?" I knew better than to touch him even if just to check for any damage.

"I'm fine. It's nothin'." 

"Alrighty. I was furious when I saw them all over you. But now I really need a second to myself, Daryl, or I'm gonna pee in front of you." That made him blush like crazy, and he spun around and nearly run back into the room we came from. I laughed after him and made my way to some hidden corner. 

* * *

  
I was talking to T about how to properly use a sniper rifle he was given. Yeah, I was annoyed that Rick appointed T-Dog to stand up as our sniper, even if it was 'just in case'. And when I told him that I'm a trained marksman, he just replied, 'Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of'. What the fuck? I mean, yes, of course, I lost my cool with the kid, but I wasn't going to kill him. See, this is what I was afraid of, at the very beginning when I met Dale. Attachments, and what comes with showing who you are to other people. T took off to go take his point, and I turned to the others, to see that they are already waiting for me. I took one deep breath, and smoothen my face, making sure that it was expressionless. 

"OK then, let's go see Guillermo." Oh, I definitely missed something. Rick cocked his shotgun, and I did this same to mine, Daryl already had bolt secured in, ready to release it when needed. We went down through the broken window in the wall, Miguel first.

Me, Rick, and Daryl behind him with our weapons ready to aim. We moved slowly through the courtyard, wild plants, and leaves surrounding the big building. Obviously, no one got time to play a gardener in a zombie apocalypse.

We waited by the main door less than a minute before we could hear the lock's sound, and the gate opened. Alright, so it means that they have lookouts in those big windows. Just one man stepped forward, another Latino, only a few inches taller than me, his black hair cut short and beard well-taken care off, clothes looking clean and fresh. So they had at least necessary supplies and access to water. 

"You OK, little man?" His accent was stronger than Miguel's, probably grew up speaking Spanish around the house.

"They were gonna cut off my feet, carna." Boss man, which I guessed was Guillermo, cocked his head to the side and looked at Rick.

"Cops do that?"

"Not him. This redneck puto here and his crazy chica. They cut off some dude's hand, man. She showed it to me."

"Shut up." Of course, Daryl started to get impatient with the small talk. Next time we need to negotiate with anyone I vote to leave him behind. 

I could see two familiar shapes walking through the doors, to stand behind the boss man. "Hey, that's that vato right there, homie. He shot me in the ass with an arrow, man" Ah, Vato Number One, he pointed his gun at Daryl as he made his way towards us. "What's up, homes, huh?!"

"How's your ass, man? Oh, and here is my other friend, " While I spoke vato Number Two made his way to stand on the other side of Guillermo, rifle pointed right at my head. 

"Hola chica, how's your head?"

"Great, thanks. Certainly better than your nuts. I really hope I didn't do any permanent damage." My voice was full of sarcasm, and I could hear Rick sigh loudly. 

"Chill, chill." Guillermo made his guys lower the guns a little, and they stopped shouting in our faces. He was looking at Rick only, though I could see him glance at me just before. "It's true? They want Miguelito's feet? That's pretty sick, man."

"We were hoping more for a calm discussion."

"That hillbilly jumps Felipe's little cousin, beats on him, threatens to cut off his feet, Felipe gets an arrow in the ass, Jorge might never have children thanks to that crazy chica over there, and you want a calm discussion. You fascinate me." OK, what's with everybody calling me crazy today? 

"Heat of the moment." See, that's what I don't understand. Rick is perfectly capable of reasonable conversation under pressure, and yet he chose to handcuff Merle to the pipe on that damn roof. Alright, thinking about that, Merle isn't precisely the type of person to be talked down. Especially if he was on drugs, which apparently he was if Glenn wasn't lying about it. But still, I can help to be angry at Rick for not finding a different solution. "Mistakes were made. On both sides."

"Who's that dude to you anyway? You don't look related."

"He's one of our group, more or less. I'm sure you have a few like him."

"Ya got my brother in there?" I could tell that Daryl was losing hope of finding Merle. 

"Sorry. Fresh out of white boys. But I got an Asian. Interested?" 

"I have one of yours, you have one of mine. Sounds like even trade." I knew it won't be that easy; back in that alley, they came for the guns, that was their goal. And I doubt that Guillermo will just give it up. He was behaving way too calm and too confident like he'd have the upper hand. 

"Don't sound even to me. My people got attacked. Where's the compensation for their pain and suffering? More to the point, where's my bag of guns?" Yeah, that's what I thought, I looked at Rick, checking if he needs a hand, but he was dealing with it very well. I could tell that he was definitely a leader and had an alpha personality. 

"Guns?"

"The bag Miguel saw in the street. The bag Felipe and Jorge were going back to get. That bag of guns."

"You're mistaken"

"I don't think so." 

"About it being yours. "

"Bag was in the streets. Anybody could come around and say it was theirs." I finally felt the need to bump into the conversation. 

"And that's exactly why it's not yours. But coming back to the previous subject, where is my compensation for how your men treated me? Or where is Daryl's? After all, they nearly have broken his ribs with all that kicking and that stupid bat of yours." Guillermo looked at me now, and I continued talking. "And as you mentioned, the bag was in the streets we got to it first, your loss. It didn't have your name on it. But it has his name." I pointed at Rick and then moved to show the patch stitched to the side of the bag. "King's County Sheriff's Department. If you look at my friend's lovely badge, it'll say just this same. Oh, and just so you do anything stupid, I'd like to point out my other friend, down there." I pointed towards T-Dog, who was aiming his rifle at him. The Latino man just smiled at me before shouting at someone in Spanish.

"Oi chica, did you think I'm not gonna be ready for that kind of play?" He looked up to the roof of a building in front of us, and as my eyes followed, I could see a person being dragged to the edge bag over their head. When he stopped, vato boys next to him took off the bag, and we could see scared Glenn, tape over his mouth, hands tied behind his back. Guillermo looked back at Rick, his face all business-like. "I see two options. You come back with Miguel and my bag of guns, everybody walks. Or you come back locked and loaded. We'll see which side spills more blood." with that, he sent smug smirk in my direction and went back inside, vato boys following close behind him, guns still pointed in our faces, until the gate was shut. 

Well, fuck.


	5. Chapter 5

  
"It's a power play" I was talking to Rick, back at the office we took as our temporary Atlanta base. On our way here, I finally told Rick what I was doing in the FBI, and now we were discussing how to tackle the situation. I let my hair loose, blonde locks cascading down, and now I was using my fingers as a comb to tame them. All this running around and fighting made my braid loosen up, so I had to redo it.  
  
"Since we walked in there and I saw him, all confident and unarmed I knew he wanted the guns, and that he will make a spectacle of keeping Glenn hostage. He feels that we are not a threat. He sees you, Rick, as a cop, and even though Latino might not think highly of a police force, he still thinks that you won't do any harm without being directly attacked. He sees Daryl as an angry white redneck - don't give me that look, Dixon. He sees you as a person who can be easily distracted just by making you angry. And he is right." Now Daryl was visibly glaring at me, jaw clenching, crossbow gripped slightly too tight, but he just stood there looking at me. Good.  
  
"He is also wrong because when you aren't blinded by your anger, you are calculating and strategic. I saw it enough times during our hunts."

"And he thinks you're crazy. And I start to think he is right." That was T-Dog, he was sitting in the corner, rifle next to him. When he came down after we left vato's territory, he was shacking and was so relieved that he didn't have to kill anybody. Yeah, at the moment, he was our weakest link. It's not a bad thing, not pulling a trigger on the other human, but if push comes to shove if we have no other option, I don't think he'll be able to.  
  
"Of course he thinks I'm crazy. I knew that when we gonna meet the boss man, Miguel will tell him everything. If they think I'm just some crazy lady, they won't know that I could kill them in a hundred different ways, without a weapon. They won't know that I don't want a blood bath. And if they think I'm crazy enough, they will try to focus on me first, eliminate the most unpredictable threat first. That will give you guys a chance to lay shots on them first. Now I'm not talking mortal ones, leg, shoulder. No major organs."  
  
"Why not?" That was Daryl asking. And I knew him well enough to tell that he wasn't asking because he was questioning what I'm saying, but because he wants to understand plan correctly, analyze it himself.  
  
"Because something is off about that place and those vatos. I don't think they're bad guys. They didn't have guns on the street, and as much I understand not shooting without reason in an area full of walkers... If they really wanted, they would have guns, shot us all straight away, grab a bag, and fucked off. But they didn't have even one. And I also noticed how they dressed." I started to think about all of this until Daryl's voice was just next to me.

"The hell it matters how they dress, woman?"

"Think about it, They look and behave like typical Latino-American gang members, but the way they dress. Look, I saw my fair share of gang members when I was a Fed. -"

"Oficina Federal?!"

"Yes, yes, keep up, Miguel. What was I saying? Yes, they don't dress fancy in shirts on a normal day to day basis. They usually look like the kid." I pointed in the general direction of Miguel. "Rick, why did you dress in your sheriff's uniform?"

"I don't know? I'm used to it? I don't really have any other clothes?"

"That probably too, but you are used to that outfit. You also know that you earn more respect, from strangers, and with older people by wearing it. There is a natural trust, just by looking at your uniform." While I was talking, I was observing Miguel's reactions. His face and fidgety fingers told almost everything I needed to know.  
  
"Daryl, when would you dress in the nice shirt instead of your wife-beaters and cutoffs?" I was trying to continue my explanation. He gave me a look which could kill. "Alrighty, bad person to show my line of thoughts. T-Dog, when would you dress in the nice shirt?" His brow's knitted in deep thought before he answered carefully as if he was unsure of the right answer.

"When going on a date, or to the church. Oh, and when I was visiting my grandma." I just nodded, but my eyes were still focused on a young Latino man sitting opposite me.  
  
"So I think they have families there. Maybe wives and young children." Miguel's expression didn't change, so that was a wrong shot. "No, with the wife, you don't have to try that hard. But grandma... -" Miguel quickly glanced at me, just for a second before averting his eyes, his jaw clenched. "Ding ding, we have a winner." Guys just looked at me, not understanding at all.

"Miguel, do you know what I was doing when I was Oficina Federal? I was profiling people based on their behavior. You basically told me everything without even speaking a word."

"They have old people there." Rick realized what I meant, and he started pacing. "Does it change anything?"  
  
"Only the way how we play it, Rick. We could give up half of the guns, but then our camp is short. We can go there, guns blazing, threaten them, but... Rick, if they do, in fact, have old people there, and taking care of them, they might be determined to do anything to protect them. So we need to ask ourselves if a blood bath is worth it. And I don't mean leaving Glenn. We can try to find more guns. I know a few safe houses in the area with hidden weapons. Hell, I have a sniper and a machine gun with spare ammo in my tent. Whichever we chose, we need to decide now."  
  


* * *

So guns blazing it is. I mean, we're gonna pretend to go all crazy on them, and if they don't back off Rick and me, we will try to negotiate once again. We were walking through the courtyard of vatos base, my knives in place, shotgun in hand, and my Glock, back in its place, on my side in the holster. I've nearly forgotten that I gave it to Daryl until he came to me just before leaving the office and shoved it in my hand before walking away. Ok, Dixon, what did I do wrong this time? This guy is so frustrating and so confusing! And it just makes me want to know him even more. Maybe Guillermo and T are right, perhaps I am crazy.  
  
Rick was walking first with Miguel by his side. The young man had a towel around his mouth and wrist bound behind his back, courtesy of Dixon, of course. When we approached the door, it opened, and we were allowed inside. There were at least dozen men in there, now surrounding us, Guillermo in the middle still unarmed, confidence on this guy, seriously.  
  
"I see my guns, but they're not all in the bag."

"That's because they're not yours. I thought I mentioned it." Rick and boss man had a staring contest for a few moments.

"Let's just shoot these fools right now, ese, all right? Unload on their asses, ese." Ah, my dear friend vato Number One, so trigger happy, ready to fight. But I could see that Guillermo's confidence was going down. He didn't want to fight us, he didn't want to risk his men. I could also hear the nervousness in his voice when he spoke.

"I don't think you fully appreciate the gravity of the situation."

"No, I'm pretty clear." Rick put his gun down for a second to cut Miguel's ropes and pushed him towards Guillermo. "You have your man. I want mine."  
  
I could see that the boss man was starting to get angry because he realized that we were not going to back down. "I'm gonna chop up your boy. I'm gonna feed him to my dogs. Three of the evilest nastiest, man-eating bitches you ever saw. I picked them up from Satan at a yard sale." Wow, sweet speech, also as far as I could tell, a lie. "I told you how it has to be."

"Yeah. You said, come locked and loaded. Ok, we're here" After that, the only sound in the room was loading the weapons, us pointing at Guillermo's head and them, well. Just like I expected, the majority of them were aiming at me. I feel flattered. I was looking at Rick waiting for a signal, and I could see boss man's face, he was thinking how to get out of this alive. And then I heard a voice, sweet low sound of an elderly woman, her Spanish accent thicker then vato. I could kiss her because, at that moment, I knew that I was right and that Guillermo won't allow anything to go down after that.  
  
"Felipe! Felipe!" She emerged slowly from behind the man in her old fashion nighty and with slippers on.

"Abuela. Go back with the others. Now!"

"Get that old lady out of the line of fire!" Daryl said, while I just looked at Guillermo and dropped my weapon when I saw him looking at me. I cocked my eyebrow and send him a smirk.

"Abuela, listen to your mijo. This is not the place for you right now."

"Mr. Gilbert is having trouble breathing. He-- He needs his asthma stuff. Carlito didn't find it. He needs his medicine."

"Felipe, go take care of it, ok! And take your grandmother with you." I was fully on smiling now because firstly it was comical, all that situation and secondly I knew that Guillermo won't do anything to us, not that we know.  
  
"Who are those men?" Felipe tried to pull his grandma away, but she looked at us and set her steps in our direction. "Don't you take him. Felipe's a good boy. He have his trouble, but he'll pull himself together. We need him here." Rick looked super uncomfortable, and he lowered his gun while answering.

"Ma'am. I'm not here to arrest your grandson."

"Then what do you want him for?" I glanced at Rick and turned towards the old lady, speaking softly and with a smile.

"He is helping us to find our friend, Glenn. Asian, young boy, we lost him and thought your grandson will be able to help us."

"Ah, the Asian boy. He's with Mr. Gilbert. Come, come." She gently took my hand and started leading me through the corridors. She had a small palm, and her skin was dry, but at this same time soft, she had a lovely smile, and while she was leading us to Glenn, she was telling me how helpful he was. We finally got to another building, it was brighter in here and looked like a small hospital. Of course, it was an old care house.  
  
When we reached the main room at the end of the corridor I could see many elderly people, some playing chess others reading books and I was saddened because I knew that those people won't survive this new world, not by themselves. I stood in the middle of what was a cafeteria and watched a few people circled around older men in a wheelchair, who obviously had trouble breathing. On the right, I saw Glenn, who was just watching with a worried face.  
  
"What the hell is this?" Rick was angry, and I could tell that he didn't believe what he saw. I mean, it's not that I told you that there are old folks here, right Officer?!

"Asthma attack. Couldn't get his breath all the sudden." When Glenn answered, I nearly laughed, we were scared for his life and imaging him being tied down somewhere in the dark corner of a cell, and here he is. Just standing as if he wasn't kidnapped by these people.

"Thought you were being eaten by dogs, man." T-Dog felt exactly like me and more, anger in his voice as he spoke. At that, Glenn just turned around to look at the dogs in the corner of a cafeteria. Three little rat-looking dogs were lying down on a dog bed, not really bothered by anything.  
  
I couldn't stop myself any longer. Laughter escaped my lips, and I made my way towards Asian men trapping him in a tight hug. I checked him over, making sure that nothing was broken, and when I was happy with what I saw, I slapped back of his head. "Don't you fucking scare me like that, ever again, Glenn Rhee!"  
  


* * *

We ended up leaving some of the weapons behind, only a few, but Daryl was not happy about it at all. He was just voicing his opinion now, we were on our way back to where we parked the van. We had an earnest conversation with Daryl about what to do about Merle. We checked the area around the store where he was left but didn't find anything: no wheel tracks, no blood marks, no dead walkers to show us the way. So we discussed it and agreed to leave a note just in case Merle would come back. So now here we were going down towards our vehicle with younger Dixon complaining about the guns.  
  
"You've given away half our guns and ammo."

"Not nearly half."

"For what? A bunch of old farts gonna die off momentarily anyhow? Seriously, how long do you think they got?"

"Daryl!" I wasn't happy with his comments. I knew he was still angry about his brother, but that's just...

"Oh my god." I turned my head forward and noticed what everyone was staring at. There were some spare, loose rail tracks, overgrown yellowish grass, and bend sign in the distant corner. The place was surrounded by a high fence with a gate, which was open. So everything was just how we left it, except our truck. Which wasn't there.  
  
"Where the hell's our van?"

"We left it right there. Who would take it?" I'll tell you exactly who would take it, Glenn. I looked at Rick, and he just nodded at me, a stern look on his face. "Merle."

"He's gonna be taking some vengeance back to camp." Yup, that's what I was afraid of. Not that I didn't understand. I would be furious if I'd be left behind, but I wouldn't physically hurt anyone back at quarry. But I'm not Merle.

"What now?" Glenn wasn't the only one wondering about it. I already started looking around for a new vehicle.

"C'mon, let's go. We better start walking if we want to get there soon." Rick just started in the direction of a quarry. "We can see if there are any cars on the way."  
  
So that is precisely what we did. I was so tired the past couple of days really taking its toll on me. First, walking with Daryl around the forest to hunt what we could, just to feed the people in the camp and now the stress of everything that happened today. All I wanted to do was to eat, lay down, and then sleep for at least twelve hours.

It was dark now, and we were trekking through the woods for nearly two hours, the camp was just about twenty minutes away. Rick and I were walking at the front, and I thought it was an excellent time to get to know him.  
  
"So Rick, where were you? When I was speaking with Lori... She fought you're dead, man."

"Yeah, I know. I am as surprised as anyone actually. I was shot, before all of this started, on a line of duty. I was in a comma and well woke up two days ago to all of this. Still wonder if it's just some dream." He looked thoughtful, not slowing his pace. I could only imagine how that felt like, walking up entirely alone for this new fucked up world.  
  
"I was at my family house, taking some time off. There was some news, you know, on radio and TV but... I thought it was like the swine flu that it just panic over nothing, and soon we will forget all about it. Boy, was I wrong. Met everyone on a highway when we tried to get to Atlanta. I was supposed to go to my office, work on some solution. I guess they wanted us to go and support the army in CDC or whatnot." I remembered again that day, all the cars just stuck in the traffic, orange flames when the military set the city on fire. "I don't know how much is left, Rick. My last communication with the FBI was short, and they told me that the White House was overtaken." Men next to me didn't slow down, but his face darkened, and he swallowed loudly, probably realizing how bad it was.  
  
"So, you wanted to talk about how to handle Daryl, are you and him together or something?" Changing the subject, alright, why not.

"Are we together? No, we are friends. Or at least he is my friend." I glanced behind me to check if Dixon wasn't anywhere close to us. He was trailing behind, watching our backs, his sky blue eyes scanning the area. "He is very closed of person I suspect that Merle was the only one he actually trusts. He doesn't like to be touched, doesn't really speaks a lot, and as you probably already know, he is very short-tempered. He is like a caged wild animal, so you have to be very careful about approaching him. Aiming a gun at his head won't solve anything. It will just push him away more. "

"I can't tell you that I won't do it again, Elena, because I don't know that. But I get what you say." Before any of us could say anything else, we could hear screams and gunshots coming from up ahead. Exactly where our camp was.  
  
I took off, taking my Glock out and making sure it's ready to use. I was tired as hell but screams intensified, which gave me a needed boost of adrenaline. Something was surely not alright at the quarry, and soon I realized what.  
  
There were more than twenty walkers in our camp, some were already shot down, I could see a few chewing and ripping apart people. The stench of death was in the air, and you nearly could taste blood. I saw Lori and Carol trying to get to the RV with Shane protecting them and using his gun. I sprung to action and shot the nearest geek right between its eyes, quickly emptying my clip.  
  
Rick and Daryl were on my right, both using shotguns and trying to get as many as possible. I was making my way towards the RV, both hands on a gun when something grabbed back of my shirt I heard it rip, and I was pulled down to the ground. I spun around just in time to stop the walker from biting down my neck by stretching my arms up and holding to its shoulders. It used to be a woman, long hair long lost its color, and it was hard to tell what it used to be. She stang, her dead white eyes staring right at me, jaw chomping to try to taste any part of me. I moved my left arm hand and pressed my forearm under her chin while using my right to get to one of my knives. She was incredibly strong, and it was hard to keep her away from any parts of my body. Finally, I could feel hilt under my fingertips, and I grabbed my knife. I pulled it out of the holster and shoved it in the right eye of a walker in one swift motion. Her growling stopped, and I finally managed to push her body off me. Sitting up, I could see that everything was over.  
  
There were bodies everywhere, both walkers and people who've been part of this group for months. Just in front of RV, I saw Andrea leaning over a corpse. Body with long blond hair, now mixed in with red blood. My hand went to my mouth to cover a soft sob that escaped my lips, and I closed my eyes at a sad revelation that sweet Amy was gone.  
  
"You alright?" I opened my eyes and looked up to see a T-Dog standing next to me, his face mixture of sadness and fear. Sweat slowly dripping from the top of his head, down his neck. I just gave him a sharp nod before I got up. My backpack was lying on the ground, next to me, and I quickly took a flannel shirt out and put it on. Sound of ripping was still fresh in my mind, and I was worried and scared, but it wasn't the time to think about myself.

"I'm alright. We need to make sure that there aren't any more walkers nearby."  
  


* * *

We just finished our perimeter check. Shane, Morales, T, Daryl, and me, we went around the camp to ensure that we were going to be safe tonight. When we returned to the general area, everyone else was sitting close to each other, watching Andrea and listening to her quiet cries.

"We need a lookout. We were too confident. Four-hour shifts would be the best. We can deal with the bodies first thing in the morning." I said quietly as I stopped next to a few people who were left alive. Rick and Shane both nodded, agreeing with me.

"We gonna use Dale's RV as a spot. I'll take the first one, next T-Dog, and then you, Elena." Shane knew who was a good shot in the group, and I also appreciated the last shift as I desperately needed a rest. I said my goodbyes and walked away to my blue tent. As I was walking, I remembered what happened before and realized that I still had to check if I was scratched.  
  
Daryl was already in his tent, he walked away a second we returned from our check, so I made my way there. At the moment, he was someone I trusted, and I knew that if I was, in fact, infected, he wouldn't hesitate to do what needs to be done.

"Daryl?" My voice was soft but loud enough for him to hear me. I stood by the front of his tent and waited for his reaction.

"What ya want now, woman?" He sounded tired and sad, probably grieving in silence over his brother, but I couldn't wait.

"Can I please come in? Just for a second, I need you to check something for me. Please, I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important." I waited there for a while and was ready to give up and walk away when he finally unzipped the tent's flap, and I quickly made my way inside.  
  
His tent wasn't much bigger than mine, but it could comfortably accommodate two sleeping bags spread on the ground. I could see some clothes lying around and empty food cans on the left side of the tent. I assumed it was Merle's, Daryl wasn't a messy person from what I could see so far. He sat down on what I thought was his sleeping bag and looked at me, waiting for me to speak. I twirled my fingers suddenly aware of where I was and started to question my actions. I took a deep breath and kneeled in front of him, eyes on my lap, afraid of his reaction.  
  
"I need you to check my back." He inhaled sharply, and I knew that I started it in the wrong way. "Nothing funny, I swear!" I pulled my arms up and finally looked into his bright eyes. They were narrowed, and he was baiting his thumb, another sigh of anxiousness, well mister this time it's both of us who are uncomfortable.  
  
"During the attack... I don't know if you saw, but the walker took me down, pulled at the back of my top. I could hear it rip and well..." I took another deep breath while I turned around, so my back was in front of him. "It hurts, but I'm not sure if it's from the dumpster or if I was scratched."

I took off my flannel and unclasped straps holding my reins, taking them off and putting my knives on the ground next to me. I pulled up my top, leaving me just in my bra. I pressed my clothes to my front, more for his benefit than mine, and waited. I was breathing heavily at this point, not just because I was sitting almost naked in front of this attractive man but because I couldn't shake incoming death thoughts. If I was infected, he would have to put me down. I knew that that's why I came to him because he would do it. And I would be grateful if it meant that no one else would die. But I didn't want to die, not one bit.  
  
I finally heard him move on his bed, and after a few more agonizing seconds, I felt his fingers brush over the right side of my lover back. Very gently, just his fingertips barely touching my skin, I could feel how warm they were. As soon as it started, it ended. It lasted maybe half a second but still sent a shiver down my spine.  
  
"Just a bruise." His voice was quiet and croaky, and at this revelation, a sob escaped me, and I quickly covered my face with hands. Just a bruise, not going to die today. It's just a bruise. Finally, all adrenaline left my body, and I shook as I let tears roll down my face. It didn't take long, just a couple minutes before I manage to compose myself. I was kneeling half-naked, crying my face off with a man I'm attracted to, right behind me. Not good. I swiftly put my top on, still clenching to my flannel and weapons. I gave him a quick nod.

"Thank you, Daryl. I-- 'll see you tomorrow."

"El, wait." He spoke again just as I was about to leave the tent. I slowly turned around to look at him, still sitting on his sleeping bag, now playing with his crossbow. "Why would ya ask me?"

"Because I knew that if I was infected, you'd do what needs to be done. Good night Daryl, and I'm really sorry about Merle." With that, I left and made my way to my tent, ready to fall asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's readying I really appreciate it!
> 
> Laura, thank you so much for your kind words I'm so happy that you're enjoying the story and Elena. I'll see what I can do regarding Daryl's POV :)
> 
> Enjoy new chapter, guys!

  
**Day 46**  
  
I was woken up by T-Dog early on, the next morning, the sun still hidden behind the horizon. I thanked him and told him to catch a few more hours of sleep, we had a lot to do today. I changed my clothes quickly, putting on a green wife-beater and brown cargo pants. Black flannel shirt on top of it, at the moment it was still chilly, and tied laces of my black combat boots. They were starting to look worn out; it would be a good idea to look for new ones. Then I grabbed my duffle bag and took out my rifle, ready to leave my tent.  
  
I made my way silently towards the RV, and I could see Andrea still sitting next to Amy's cold, dead body. God, for a second, I almost forgot what happened here last night. I made my way to her carefully. I didn't want to scare her or aggravate her.  
  
"Andrea, would it be alright if I'd say my goodbye?" I wasn't that close to a young woman, but she was part of this group. She was smart and sweet, making our afternoons and dinner times a little bit happier. She deserved proper farewell, and her sister deserved to know that we all cared for Amy. She just nodded, not taking her eyes from the dead body, so I kneeled on the other side and took Amy's other hand in mine.  
  
"Hey, Amy. I'm really sorry that it happened to you, you didn't deserve it. But I can promise you that we will take care of your sister, you don't have to worry about her. And if you'd see my parents up there, please say 'Hi' from me, alright?" I patted her cold hand a few times and then stood up and made my way to the ladder, which led to RV's roof.  
  
I admit I'm not the best person to lift anyone's spirits. I might know what words to say and how to behave in those situations, but as I said before, I'm not comfortable around other people enough to show them how I feel. That's why after I gained my Ph.D. in Psychology, I moved my interests to criminology, getting a BA in criminal justice, instead of being a psychologist in a fancy office.  
  
I sat on top of the RV for a couple hours until camp started to come to life. First, as always, to awake was Daryl. He emerged from his tent slowly, like a cat, still wearing these same clothes as yesterday. I guess they were already dirty, and what we were about to do would be a gory and messy job anyway. Not that Daryl was kind of person to care about his appearance.  
  
He stood in tents entrance for a second and then started stretching, his arms well above his head, trying to crack his back. Those arms, man. Muscular but not overly, and not in the way you could gain at a gym, but from hard, physical work. And from carrying that crossbow around like it's weight nothing. I could see his wife-beater rose up, showing a small piece of skin. It seemed smooth, and his belly was covered with a little bit of hair going down and disappearing into his pants leading to...  
  
When my thoughts started to turn into dangerous territory, I noticed that he was looking at me. Not stopping what he was doing.  
  
Oh My God. Was he doing it intentionally?  
  
Two can play that game. I licked my lips slowly and began to unbutton my shirt, leaving me just in my top, which was quite a skin-tight. I cocked my eyebrow at Daryl and send him a kiss. That made him realize what was happening, and he quickly took off to the woods.  
  
Shorty after him, other people started to wake up, and soon, my watch shift was over, and Dale came up to take over. I jogged to my tent to put away my rifle, and to leave my flannel, it started getting hot, and I didn't need it anymore. I secured Glock in its rightful place by my side and took my machete with me. Lori and Carol were already preparing breakfast, so I made my way to them.  
  
"Morning."  
  
"Hey Elena," Brown-haired women sent me a small smile, and Carol nodded and passed me a plate with pieces of meat and some canned vegetables. "Did you speak to Andrea at all?"  
  
"No, I paid my respects to Amy, though. I don't think she will let us any near her. She wants to do it by herself." After swallowing some of the food, I grabbed a water bottle from the picnic table we had set up in the middle and drank slowly. Slowly rest of us started gathering and eating quickly. Rick came in but said that he needs five minutes in private to talk to the guy who saved his life.  
  
"Alright, I'll go see if she will let us deal with it." With that, Lori strode over to where a blonde woman was sitting.  
  
"Suit yourself, but she won't." I stood up and put my plate away. "Glenn, T-Dog start the fire guys, so we can burn the bodies. Daryl, Jim, and Morales, you're with me on a headshot duty. Grab knives, pickaxes whatever you chose." I took my machete and went to the nearest body, a walker once a man with half of his face missing and shoved my blade through its head. We had to make sure that none of them weren't coming back.  
  
After a few minutes, men managed to create a fire, stocked with logs and branches, so we started moving walkers. Jim grabbed one side of a geek while I took the other, and slowly we pushed the body into orange flames. We both heard footsteps approaching, and seconds later, Daryl passed us, patting Jim on his back.  
  
"C'mon Jimbo, El! We got some work to do." I left Jim and followed Dixon to the next body.  
  
"What do you think I was doing for the last twenty minutes, Dixon?"  
  
"I dunno, catchin' the sun?" The brown-haired man helped Morales lift the body, and they started dragging it to the fire area. I quickly followed and grabbed its feet to help them out.  
  
"Daryl, did you just make a joke?" Before we could continue our small talk, I could hear distressed Glenn from behind them. He looked upset and like he was about to cry.  
  
"Hey, whoa, what're you guys doing? This is for geeks. Our people go over there!" At that, he pointed towards the separate pile I didn't even notice before. I guess T and him were busy too. I already saw two other bodies there, wrapped in some sheets. We stopped moving and looked at a young Asian man.  
  
"What's the difference? They're all infected."  
  
"Our people go over there. We don't burn them! We bury them. Understand?" We stood there watching Glenn silently and then looked at each other before bending down to the dead body on the ground. "Our people go in that row over there." We picked it up and started dragging in towards row, he pointed. I guess we do need some sort of service, time to mourn. Especially children, it's way harder for them to see death.  
  
"Ya reap what ya sow." Daryl for fuck sake, could you try not to start a fight for like five minutes? Morales felt precisely the same as he replied.  
  
"You know what, shut up, man!" We dropped the body, and Daryl started to walk away, anger in his voice as he spoke again.  
  
"Y'all left my brother for dead! Ya had this coming!"  
  
"That's just unfair, Daryl," I spoke quietly, trying to catch his eyes. He just shook his head and walked away to deal with another body. Morales and I made way to T, and they both looked at me.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Aren't you gonna go calm him down?"  
  
"No, he needs time alone. And what with all this assumption that I can calm him down?"  
  
"Cause you have hots for him?" T wiggled his eyebrows at me, and Morales laughed loudly. But before I had time to answer him, I could hear Jacqui yell.  
  
"A walker got him. A walker bit Jim!" I spun around to see people circling the man in question as he was backing up.  
  
"I'm OK."  
  
"Show it to us!" Daryl had pickaxe resting on a shoulder and made his way to Jim, who backed up more and quickly grabbed a shovel from the ground to defend himself. "Show it to us!" Now more people were shouting, while Jim still tried to tell us he is alright. T-Dog crept behind him and put his arms around Jim, making man drop the shovel down. Daryl used that opportunity and run to them, lift Jim's top up to reveal a red bite mark on the side of his stomach.  
  
"I'm OK. I'm OK. I'm OK... " I could imagine how scared he was, and now that we all knew, that feeling had to increase. Especially when Daryl looked ready to shove his pickaxe into man's head at any minute.  
  
"Jim, go sit down here, alrighty? Have some water I'll be right back." After leading man to the back of the RV, I moved towards the rest of the group. They all stood in the circle, obviously discussing what to do with infected Jim.  
  
"I say we put a pickaxe in his head and dead girl's and be done with it." Came out of Daryl  
  
"That what you'd want if it were you?" Shane asked.  
  
"Yeah, and I'd thank ya while you did it"  
  
"I hate to say it. I never thought I would, but maybe Daryl's right." Dale's words surprised everyone around, but I didn't think that he meant just to kill Jim off.  
  
"Jim's not a monster, Dale, or some rabid dog." Officer Friendly disagreed with everything that was said. Funny considering that he just left Merle to die on the rooftop of Atlanta.  
  
"I'm not suggesting -- "  
  
"He's sick—a sick man. We start down that road, where do we draw the line?  
  
"The line's pretty clear. Zero tolerance for walkers, or them to be." Daryl wasn't giving up on his idea.  
  
"What if we can get him help?" Rick looked on all of us, hands on his hips. "I heard the CDC was working on a cure. Elena, you said yourself, that probably the majority of the force was sent there, same with the army."  
  
"I heard that too. Heard a lot of things before the world went to hell." Shane wasn't sure, but I suspected one of the reasons was that Rick slowly taking over leadership. And dark-haired man didn't like it one bit.  
  
"What if the CDC's still up and running?"  
  
"And that is a stretch right there."  
  
"Why? If there's any government left any-- any structure at all, they'd protect the CDC at all costs, wouldn't they?" That last part was directed to me.  
  
"Yeah, I believe so." I nodded.  
  
"Then I think it's our best shot. Shelter, protection, a rescue." Rick was set on that idea I admired him for trying to help Jim. But he didn't understand how scared the rest of the group was. We were just attacked in our camp, everything finally became real, and if CDC is not It, that'll crush their hopes even more.  
  
"You want those things, all right. I do, too, OK?" Now it was Shane's time to push into a conversation. "Now, if they exist, they're at the Army base, Fort Benning."  
  
"That's a hundred miles away," Lori said.  
"That is right, but it's away from the hot zone. Now listen. If that place is operational, it will be heavily armed. We'd be safe there."  
  
"I don't think so, Shane," I spoke, making everyone look at me. "There is too much unknown factor. The majority of soldiers would be sent to evacuate or deal with Phenix City and Columbus. We should also assume that they'd do this same to it as they did to Atlanta. Trying to stop everything with bombs, so how many are actually left? If not, they'd set the base as a refugee center, and at this point, it would be packed. Who's to say they still taking in survivors."  
  
"Right. The CDC's our best choice, and Jim's only chance." Rick agreed with what I said.  
  
I could see Daryl shifting in his spot and chew on his bottom lip. "Ya go looking for aspirin. Do what ya need to do. Someone needs to have some balls and take care of this damn problem!" With that, he spun around, raising his pickaxe and lanched himself towards Jim.  
  
Rick was quickly behind him a gun in hand and pointed at Dixon's head. You know what? I don't give a shit anymore, all this arguing, Daryl's constant angry attitude. He turned around, staring at the barrel of a gun in front of him and then further, locking his bright blue eyes with my grey ones.  
  
I pressed my lips together into a line and used my coldest voice."Don't you go fucking looking at me. I'm tired of convincing everyone that you aren't just some angry, aggressive redneck, but you're making it so fucking hard!"  
  
After that, I walked away, not listening to anything else. Who the fuck he thinks he is? Yes, that's true that for the past few months, I tried to befriend him and defended him when someone was chatting shit about him. But that's it. If he can't play nice with others if he won't go and control his temper, then I'm done.  
  


* * *

I was walking up the hill towards the graves Jim dug yesterday, during his heatstroke. Shane and Rick went there some time ago to dig more, as our losses were more significant then we thought. We lost fifteen people last night, including Amy and Carol's abusive husband, Ed. Now, that's death I'm not sad about, the bastard got what he deserved, and now Carol and Sophia are free of him.  
  
I couldn't stop thinking about what happened. What if we'd stay or at least if I'd stay instead of going to Atlanta? Could I prevent any of those deaths, probably but on the other hand... I sighed and run a face over my forehead, trying to wipe sweat from it. I would go one way or the other. Even if I was angry with Daryl right now, I wouldn't leave him to look for his brother by himself. And that's something that frustrated me even more. Without knowing, I started to care for these people, especially for that stupid redneck. I heard a roar of an engine behind me, and I stepped aside to let it pass, but it stopped right beside me.  
  
"Git in." Daryl sat there, behind the steering wheel, not even looking in my direction, so I just gritted my teeth to stop snarky comments and started walking again.  
  
"Git in the car, woman!" I turned around to meet his eyes boring into mine, stern, and determined look on his face. I licked my dry lips and finally got into the car, slamming the door behind me to spite him a little more.  
  
"I thought ya would be on my side about Jim. With all 'kill me if I'm scratched' shit ya pulled last night." His voice was quiet and gravely, a little bit of hurt mixed in it. I sighed and started to calm down.  
  
"I do agree with you, Daryl. I'd want to be dealt with if I was infected, just like you. But Jim isn't us." I started, shifting a little bit in the seat so I was facing him properly. He had elbow out, resting on a rolled down the window, thumb in his mouth as his other hand was holding the steering wheel with ease.  
  
"And I think that's what Dale tried to tell us, you know. We should ask Jim what he wants. Maybe he does want to be put down. Or maybe he wants to leave and die in peace or try and go to CDC. And finally, maybe he'd like to die, with us by his side and then we can take care of it before he turns. But, we won't fucking know because none of us actually thought about asking him." Daryl grunted in response, but I saw he was considering my words carefully.  
  
"I'm sorry." I wasn't sure if he said it for a few seconds, but then he sent me a side glance.  
  
"Yeah, me too. These last couple of days were horrible, and I just burst. I hope you know, I don't think you're just an angry redneck. You're so much more if only you'd just let us see that other side of you." Now he just blushed, and the rest of this short journey was spent in silence.  
  
It took us almost an hour to put all the bodies into the graves, Amy being the last one. Andrea was adamant about doing it all by herself, so we all just stood there, keeping our distance and watching her as she dragged her sister's body into a hole. In the end, she allowed Dale to help her out, and now we were all walking back to the quarry. I was the last one, just trailing behind Rick when he, Lori, and Carl stopped in their tracks.  
  
"Burying other people was bad enough, but the thought of one of us--"  
  
"Shhh," Lori stopped him from talking, and I passed them, sending a small reassuring smile in woman's direction, yeah, that was probably going to be a private conversation. The last thing I want is to be stuck behind them and pretend not to listen. I walked for no longer than a minute when a small hand slipped into mine. I looked down to see Carl, his face red and stained with tears, so I hugged him to my side.  
  
"I'm scared, Elena."  
  
"I know, buddy, but you have your mom and dad, and all of us to protect you, alright."  
  
"But what if it won't be enough or all of you'll die, leaving me alone."  
  
"That won't happen, Carl, I won't let that happen. But I'll speak to your parents and see if they are willing to let me teach you some survival things." His face brightened, and he sent me a faint smile.  
  
"You'd do that?"  
  
"Of course, buddy. I think it's important that you know how to protect yourself. But like I said, only if your parents will agree." That seemed to put him in a better mood, thank God I really wasn't sure how to deal with kids.  
  
"Elena!" I turned around to see Rick, and I stopped to wait for them. "I want you to go with me to check on Jim with me, is it OK?"  
  
"Yeah, fine with me, just give me a second alrighty?" Not waiting for his answer, I gave Carl's hand one more squeeze and left towards my tent. Once inside, I grabbed my water cantine and took a huge gulp. I pulled my stinky top off and quickly put a flannel shirt, the one I had this morning. I really need to do some laundry.  
  
I made my way to the RV, and Rick was already waiting for me, together we entered and saw Carol with wet cloth in her hands. She was sitting on a bed next to Jim and tried to cool him down. He was sweating, and wound dressing we put on this morning was stained with blood. I took some antiseptic wipes and new bandages out of RV's first aid kit while Carol left to get some water. I sat down where she did before, and Rick sat on a chair next to us. Jim spoke as I started to clean his wound.  
  
"You save a grave for me?"  
  
"Nobody wants that," Rick replied.  
  
"It's not about what you want. That, uh-- that sound you hear? That's God laughing while you make plans." I looked at Rick, unsure if he understood. Jim had a very high fever, and I could tell that he's delirious.  
  
"What I want, Jim, if-- if God allows, is to get you some help." Jim moved slightly and started coughing, so I quickly grabbed a pot that was on a bedside table, and he took it. He spat blood into it as his cough died down. That's not good at all. It means the infection is spreading, and now his organs are dying.  
  
"Watch the mangroves. Their roots will gouge the whole boat. You know that, right?" Yes, indeed, he wasn't thinking clearly. "Amy's there, swimming. You'll watch the boat, right? You said you would."  
"I'll watch the boat. Don't worry."  
"OK."  
  


* * *

I was sitting on one of the chairs in the middle of the camp and slowly ate my food. What was left from the meat Daryl and I hunted, and some pasta. Glenn was lucky and last time, they went to the city and managed to grab a few packages of it. We were quiet, Daryl and T came back from they perimeter swap, minutes ago, so now we were waiting for Rick, Shane, and Dale.  
  
When they returned, Shane gave a whole speech about how he thought through Rick's plans, and we should try it, stick together, and all that bullshit. What I was focused on was Dale and how he was glaring at the cop. I guess I should have a quick chat with the old man.  
  
An opportunity came not long after, Dale said his goodbyes and I made an excuse for myself shortly after him and went to the RV. I spotted him on a roof, so I climbed the ladder and sat down next to him.  
  
"You alright, Dale?"  
  
"Yes, of course, you?" He looked at me, and he seemed conflicted, deep in thought.  
  
"I'm fine, but you weren't after coming back from the swap. Did anything happen? You didn't find any more walkers, did you?"  
  
"No, we didn't." He sighed heavily and ran a hand over his face. Then he scanned the area to see if anybody was looking in our direction. "But I saw Shane pointing a gun at Rick's back, he was so angry and look of his face. Jeez." I made sure that my face stayed blank if someone was watching us and just patted his arm.  
  
"Don't say anything to anyone, not yet. I'll keep an eye on him." With that, I left the roof and went to my tent. I had packing to do and a lot of thinking.  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, it really makes me happy to see that someone's interested in this story and that some of you like it!  
> Please tell me all your thoughts on the story so far.

**Day 47**

"I can't believe that you make me leave my car behind!" I was lamenting like a baby; I knew that, of course. But I've just been told by Rick and Shane that we're going to leave my car. I had the right to be upset.

"And I'll tell you again. It's burning too much gas." Shane answered before walking away and turning to the rest of the group. 

We were all packed already, being awake for a few hours. Tents put down and loaded into the cars, this same with camping equipment, which went back to the RV. I had my backpack and duffel bag, and I was standing next to my black SUV. It was already stripped from fuel and all spare parts that men thought we may need in the future. I opened the door for the last time and searched the glove compartment. My extra torch, alright, that goes to the backpack. I also found some maps, and they followed a flashlight, and finally, I found a cigarette packet. My guilty pleasure, which I tried to quit before the world went to shit. I don't think it matters now if I smoke or not. Happy with my findings, I left the car, shut its door, and moved towards Daryl's. His truck had his tent in the back alongside with Merle's motorcycle. I put my duffel bag in the tail, and my backpack landed on the passenger's side. Dixon stood behind the group facing away from me, I moved and stopped just next to him, giving him a quick nudge. That earned me a grumpy glance. 

"All right, everybody. Listen up." Shane stood next to Rick, holding onto his shotgun, and he started his little speech. "Those of you with CB's, we're gonna be on channel 40, but let's keep the chatter down, Ok? Now, you got a problem, don't have a CB, can't get a signal, anything at all, you're gonna hit your horn one time. That'll stop the caravan. Any questions?"

"We're, uh-- We're not going," Morales spoke up, all of was quiet looking at him and his family. "We have family in Birmingham. We want to be with our people."

"You on your own. You won't have anyone to watch your back."

"We'll take the chance. I gotta do what's best for my family."

"You sure?" Rick asked, concern in his voice.

"We talked about it. We're sure."

"Alright. Shane?" Rick bent down to the bag of guns lying in front of him and took a small revolver out, Shane grabbed a pack of ammo, and both went to Morales' family. By my side, Daryl shifted uncomfortably, unhappy that they gave away our weapons. Again. 

We started to say our goodbyes, I hugged Miranda and kids and went to Morales. I put him in a big hug.

"See you, man."

"And you, Elena, take care of grumpy Dixon." I laughed and walked away to Daryl's pick-up, jumping into the passenger's side.

"What ya doin' here, woman?" He looked at me with a confused look on his face.

"Hitching a ride, of course. What else?"

"Wher's ya car?"

"They stripped it down, said it takes too much gas," I mumbled under my nose, still upset over that. "And before you ask, Cherokee doesn't have any more space, I don't want to ride with delusional Jim. Andrea is still upset over Amy, and I am not the best person to comfort her. Oh, and lastly, Shane. I think, is pissed at me for disagreeing with him. Plus, he gives weird vibes since Rick came into the picture." Daryl was squinting his eyes at me and finally shut his door and dropped the subject.

"Alrighty, I'm gonna be the best traveling buddy, trust me!" I was smiling wildly and not long after we took off, back towards Atlanta.  
  


* * *

We were driving for about ten minutes, and I was getting fidgety. Car was hot even with rolled down windows, and I realized that it was the first time I was so close to Daryl in closed-off space. I know, yes, I was sitting half-naked in front of him a couple of nights ago. But back then, I was more worried about not dying, so right here, right now? Completely different. 

"Ya quiet." His low voice startled me, and I looked at him, surprised. 

"You know well enough, I can be quiet. But if you insist." I moved forward to my backpack and searched the inside. "I have gifts, you know a thank you for letting me drive with you. Well, and a bribe so we can keep it like that." I took out a can of soda from it and opened it for him. I stretched my hand without looking at him as I kept searching for cigarettes. Daryl took it from me quickly, as always making sure to not touch me.

"Aa, right here!" I took the pack out of the front pocket and grabbed one cigarette, and pulled it into my mouth. I offered one to Daryl and then laughed. "I have cigarettes, but sure as hell, I don't have a lighter. I actually tried to quit before all this."

The man reached across, not taking his eyes off the road and opened the gloved compartment. Daryl's hand brushed over my leg, and we both froze for a second before he kept looking. He found a lighter in there and passed it to me. I lit mine and then his and put the packet in my pocket before taking a drag. I felt a sudden head rush and breathed out.

"So you don't mind me talking. What do you want to talk about, Daryl?" 

"I dunno." His voice was huskier, the impact of nicotine, and it was the most delicious sound I heard in a while. "Do ya miss your job?"

I knitted my eyebrows together, trying to think. Did I actually miss it? "Yes and no. Yes, because it was something I knew and was good at. I miss helping people, making sure that they're safe from psycho's. But I also don't miss that aspect. I really met some sick bastards in my life and have seen horrible things done to people." He grunted in understanding and threw his finished cigarette through the window.

"How about you, what you were doing before all this?" I knew that this was dangerous territory. Daryl didn't like talking about his past, and opening to people was hard for him. He looked at me, and I just smiled lightly at him.

"Nothin'. Just driftin' around with Merle. Catchin' random jobs here and there."

"Alright, did you have a favorite one? Besides hunting!" 

"I was a mechanic for a while when Merle was doin' time. I liked that." That made my smile wider, and when he glanced at me again, I wiggled my eyebrows at him and gently brushed his arm.

"I bet, that's where your big guns come from, hm?" He blushed like crazy and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Shut up." Daryl started to slow down before we could continue, and I realized that it's because T-Dog's van was stopping. 

"Why are we slowing? We're just a few miles away." As soon as Daryl stopped, I jumped out to see what was happening. Approaching the RV, I could see a cloud of smoke coming from under the hood. Dale and Rick standing around it and tried to take a look at it.

"Can you jerry-rig it?"

"That's all it's been so far." Dale shrugged. "It's more duct tape than a hose. And I'm out of duct tape."

"I see something up ahead." Shane was looking up ahead using Dales binoculars. "Gas station, if we're lucky."

"Y'all, Jim." Jacqui came running from the Rv, sweaty and concerned. "It's bad. I don't think he can take any more." 

"Hey, Rick. Do you wanna hold down the fort? I'll drive ahead see what I can bring back?" Shane asked, T-Dog offering to tag along. "Y'all keep your eyes open now."

Two men went to Shane's jeep and drove off while we still stood by the RV's entrance.

"Alrighty, Daryl, will you watch over them? Dale, can you go up to the roof, make sure we're not surprised? Rick and I, we'll check on Jim." Not waiting for an answer, I walked into the vehicle. After sending a reassuring smile to Jacqui, I asked her to wait outside and then sat down next to Jim, grabbing his hand in mine. He was sweating and paler than before, his half-buttoned shirt was red in a spot where his wound was. 

"We'll be back on the road soon," Rick said as he walked in behind me, standing next to a bed.

"Oh no. Christ." Jim started shaking his head as to say 'no'. "My bones. My bones are like glass. Every little bump. God. This ride's killing me." He looked through the window and then continued. "Leave me here. I'm done. Just leave me. I wanna be with my family." I squeezed his hand gently and looked at sheriff as he shifted to sit on a chair, elbows resting on his knees. 

"They're all dead. I don't think you know what you're asking. The fever. You've been delirious more often than not."

"I know. Don't you think I know?" Jim sighed heavily and pushed himself up on the pillows. "I'm clear now. In five minutes, I may not be. Rick, I know what I'm asking. I want this. Leave me here. Now that's on me. My choice, not your failure." He coughed harshly and turned to look out the window again. I patted his hand and stood up, nodding at Rick. 

When I came out, everyone looked at me, waiting for news. I bit down my bottom lip and sharply shook my head. 

"He's not right. Let's wait for Shane and T to come back. "  
  


* * *

"It's what he said he wants." Guys came back without a hose, but they found more duck tape. Dale quickly fixed the issue but told us straight away that RV won't hold for much longer without a new one. I informed the group that Jim is not going to make it to CDC and that he wants to be left here, to not suffer anymore. 

"And he's lucid?" Carol asked, and I nodded.

"He definitely is. He may not be in a few minutes, but at the moment, he is, and this ride is killing him. 

"Back in the camp, when I said Daryl might be right, you shut me down." Dale started speaking, making all of us look at him. "You misunderstood. I'd never go along with callously killing a man. I was just gonna suggest that we ask Jim what he wants. And I think we have an answer." I glanced behind me to see these beautiful blue eyes already looking at me, and I rose my eyebrows as to tell him _'told you'_ and he rolled his eyes and started pacing.

"We just leave him here, we take off? Man, I'm not sure I could live with that." I looked back forward, at Shane who spoke shaking his head. Two days ago, this same Shane had a massive argument with Rick and me about going and saving Merle, who was left behind, and now Deputy sings a different song. Hypocrite.

"It's not your call. Either one of you." Lori's soft voice broke through and made me smile gently at her.

"You're right. Shane, help me out." Rick and Shane went inside the RV, and just minutes later emerged with Jim between them. Together they dragged him to the tree line on the side of a road and gently put him down against the nearest tree. He looked so pale and was sweating badly, his breathing was labored, and I could see pain with every movement he made.

We stood all in front of him, waiting to say our goodbyes. I stood behind with Dixon on my right, so I didn't hear properly what everyone was saying, but I could see Rick offering Jim one of the guns, which he declined. Jacqui was crying but trying to smile for the benefit of dying man in front of her. Other people made their goodbyes, and it was just me and Daryl left, so I made my way towards the tree and crouched beside Jim. 

"It was really good to know you, Jim, you gonna be with your family now."

"I know Elena, thank you for caring. Watch out for the group for me, will ya?" He gave me a faint smile, and I patted his leg and stood up, walking away towards Daryl's pick-up.   
  


* * *

The rest of the ride was grim and quiet between Daryl and me. We both were buried in our thoughts, trying to come to terms with what happened in the past few days. 

When we arrived at the CDC sun started setting down, and I could see the gruesome view in front. The road was blocked, presumably by the military, at the beginning of the outbreak, sand barricades surrounded the street. But the most horrible was how many bodies there were, just lying on the ground, decomposing in the hot Georgia sun, who knows for how long. There were no signs of an army at all, abandoned posts and cars spread through the streets. In far, there it was our destination, a massive building with lots of tall, glass windows. I could feel dread spread through my body if there weren't any soldiers here, does it mean that CDC is a bust? Is there any hope left? 

One by one, I could see my people exiting the vehicles and trying to comprehend the view in front of us. I opened the door and stepped outside, I strapped my machete into my belt and put on my backpack. Over it, I put my makeshift quiver and took hold of a bow, closing the door quietly. We didn't know how many walkers were lurking around, just waiting for a fresh meal. 

I approached Rick, as he was staring at a building in the distance and could hear people behind me gagging on horrendous smell, that was hanging in the air. So I did what I knew was unavoidable and breathed deeply, feeling the stir in my lungs and belly and trying to stop nausea I took another one, and another until it wasn't that bad anymore. I turned around to the rest of us and saw them trying to cover their noses and mouths with hands, or rags.

"Don't do that," I said in a loud whisper. "Just breath in and then out through your mouth, in a couple of minutes, your brain will adjust, and it won't be that horrible!" 

"Come on, everyone! Keep moving." Shane urged us to move, Rick at the front, Shane covering the left side with me doing this same one the right and finally Daryl, at the back. We walked around quietly, kids holding to their mothers, I could see that they were scared. So was I, but not because of the bodies that surrounded us, or because there could be geeks waiting for us. I was afraid, because I had that deep feeling in my gut, that nothing will come out of this. I was worried, more and more with every step we took that it was a mistake to come here, one I helped to push onto a group. 

We finally got to the main doors, shutters down, Rick and Shane reached them and tried to lift them up, but it wouldn't give, they knocked on them loudly. T-Dog looked around at everybody.

"There's nobody here."

"Then why are these shutters down?" Ricked replied, looking around and glancing at the camera in the corner of a building. 

"Walkers!" Daryl's shout made everyone yelp in panic, I spun around and made way to the back of the group and stood next to him. His crossbow pointed at one lonely geek in dirty army uniform, he took an aim and shoot it in the head. Daryl turned around and started walking towards Rick.

"You led us into a graveyard!" 

Shane was quick to stop him and push him back "He made a call."

"It was the wrong damn--"

"Shut up. You hear me? Just shut up." Shane made his way to Rick, and I pulled Daryl back to watch out for more walkers.

"We had to make a call, Daryl, you know that," I spoke softly and spotted another geek making its way to us. I quickly put an arrow and stretched the string aiming at its head, shooting it in between the eyes a second later.

"There's nothing here, El." I just stared at him with what I really hoped was an emotionless expression and replayed.

"I know."

"On what? No food, no fuel." Lori was talking now, Carl clenching to her and sobbing into her chest. 

"It's a hundred miles," Andrea added.

"Hundred twenty-five. I checked the map."

"Forget Fort Benning. We need answers tonight. Now!" Lori was still arguing.

"We'll think of something." Rick started to sound desperate. I guess, he felt awful, probably even more than me, he was the one who was so convinced, that CDC holds answers to the virus. 

People started shouting all around us, Shane trying to convince Rick to go back to the cars and Daryl doing this same with me.

"The camera, it moved!" Rick spoke as we started to make our way back, I instantly spun around and run towards him, looking at the camera myself, trying to see any signs of what he was saying is true. 

"You imagined it," Shane spoke.

"No, it moved." 

"Rick, even if it did, man, it's-- it's an automated device, man."

"No!" I interrupted him. "If it would be, it would move when we first approached. No, someone moved it from the inside." I was staring right at the camera, pushing in front of the men.

"Whoever you are, please just let us in!" I pleaded. "I know you're probably scared, but we are good people who just try to survive, please help us!"

Rick banged on the shutters one more time, I could hear Daryl and Lori shouting at us, but I was just looking at that camera hoping, that whoever was on the other side would see how desperate we are. 

"I know you're in there!" It was Rick's time to try to plead. "I know you can hear me. Please, we're desperate! Please help us. We have women, children, no food, hardly any gas left. With nowhere else to go!" He kept talking as Lori run to him and pushed him back. I could feel myself being dragged back, firm arm wrapped around my waist. I turned my head to see Daryl and his eyes, these blue eyes, which begged me to just move back, to come back to the cars. I let him pull me away, and we started to make our way back, Shane grabbing Rick, who was still shouting. 

I grabbed Daryl's arm, which was still around my waist, and gave a little squeeze, he looked at me, and when I nodded and gave him a strained smile, he released me. At any other time, I would probably be drooling because he was touching me. At this very moment, I was just glad that he was there to get me away from this place that he was my friend. As I thought that I heard a loud noise, and even though I knew it can attract more walkers, it was still the most beautiful sound in the world. 

I turned around, and I could see a bright light coming out of the entrance, as shutters rose up. 

"Cover the back." I made sure I stayed behind with Daryl by my side, and we both watched for any unwanted company before we all pilled up into a big hallway, half-covered in shadow. Guns up, we spread out, surrendering the more vulnerable members of our group. 

"Hello?"

We heard a gun being loaded, and then we could see a shadow of a man standing on the top of the stairs at the end of the room, shotgun in his hands, clearly pointed in our direction. 

"Anybody infected?" He asked.

"One of our group was. He didn't make it." Rick was the one to reply first. 

"Why are you here? What do you want?" 

"A chance."

"That's asking an awful lot these days." He started to make his way down the stairs. He had sandy hair and a white t-shirt with a pair of sweatpants, probably ready for bed. 

"I know," Rick shook his head. The man looked at all of us, calculating, checking if, by any chance, we are a threat to him. 

"You'll all submit to a blood test. That's the price of admission."

"We can do that."

"You got stuff to bring in, you do it now. Once this door is closed, it stays closed."

I turned around to move, but Rick stopped me as he made his way around me. "You stay here, Elena. Protect them and cover us from here." I just quickly nodded and waved Daryl over.

"Dixon, leave my other bag in the car, I have all I need." He just nodded and turned around to leave. "And, Daryl?" He just glanced at me above his shoulder, and I gave him a quick smile. "Be careful."

"Always."


	8. Chapter 8

  
The man introduced himself as Dr. Jenner and he led us up the stairs, as soon as men came back with the rest of the bags. We all squizzed into the elevator and boy was it crowded. I stood between Carl and Sophia and I could see that the kids were still scared and unsure of our surroundings. 

"Doctors always go around packing heat like that?" Daryl was leaning on the wall, crossbow in one hand, shotgun in the other, watching our host carefully.

"There was plenty left lying around. I familiarised myself." He smiled at us, "But you look harmless enough." He looked at Carl who was glancing at this strange man. "Except you. I'll have to keep my eye on you." I smiled with a corner of my lips and nudged Carl with an elbow. Boy was grinning shyly, this is what he needed and apparently, Jenner noticed.  
When the elevator finally stopped, we moved through the corridor, there were doors on both sides and no windows. 

"Are we underground?" That question came from Carol, her voice was small and laced with anxiety.

"Are you claustrophobic?" Jenner turned around to look at her.

"A little." 

"Try not to think about it." The doctor turned back around to lead us to wherever we were going. I gave Carol's shoulder a little squeeze and offered her a smile. 

"Vi, bring up the lights in the big room." He stopped and slowly we could see clearly, big round room, with a podium in the middle and many computer stations. "Welcome to Zone Five."  
Now I looked unsure of our decision. Where are other people? We didn't see or hear anyone else when we walked here, and a big room, which I assumed was a work station, was completely empty. Just us.

"Where is everybody?" Clearly Rick was thinking this same. "The other doctors, the staff?"  
Jenner stopped in the middle of the platform and faced us, "I'm it. It's just me here." I put a hand to my face and breathed in heavily, this is exactly what I was afraid of. Our last chance was a bust. It was just one guy left in this place and I couldn't believe that he would act the way he is if he was holding some answers. 

"What about the person you were speaking with?" Lori stopped next to me and asked. "Vi?"  
I shook my head because I expected what was the answer so I spoke quietly. "It's AI, isn't it?"

"Vi, say hello to our guests. Tell them welcome." He obviously heard my response because now he was looking at me, a sad smile on his face.  
_"Hello, guests. Welcome."_ The automated voice of a woman echoed in the room, and everyone was looking at each other with an expression I knew all too well. Lost hope.

"I'm all that's left. I'm sorry." He lead us down on the other side of the platform into another area, it had chairs in rows and a big whiteboard on one of the walls with a desk just in front of it. Some kind of classroom. One by one we sat in the chair next to the doctor, while he put needles in our veins to get blood samples. Kids definitely didn't like it, both Lori and Carol were crouching next to them, assuring them that it wouldn't hurt at all. It finally was my turn and I took a seat and stretched my arm out, to give him easy access.

"And what's your name?" He was marking our samples and also tried to make us more comfortable with small talk.

"Elena James." He runs a wet cotton swab over the crock of my elbow to disinfect the area. 

"And what did you do before all this, Elena?" Why everybody was so interested in our career choices from before the dead started walking? Does it matter? No. What matters now is if you know how to survive without modern world luxuries, if you can fight the dead without dying yourself. 

"FBI" I grunted still deep in my thoughts. I was watching when he stuck a needle in my vein and red liquid started dripping into a test tube. 

"That's impressive for someone so young as you." What the fuck does that mean? I'm not young anymore, at least not enough to question my association with the Bureau. I looked behind me and I could see women nodding their heads as to agree with what he said. He finally finished and I walked to the rest of my group, hands on my hips.

"Really guys? How old do you fucking think I am?" 

"Elena, language!" Lori tried to cover Carl's ears, but I just waved my hand at them and sat down on one of the chairs to wait for tests to be finished. When Andrea was all done and tried to stand up she swayed a little and Jacqui had to assist her, so the woman wouldn't fall. 

"You Ok?" Doctor asked and Andrea just nodded lightly, while Jacqui answered him.

"She hasn't eaten in days." 

"I think I can help with that."

We all sat around a table, food on our plates and glasses full of wine. It felt peaceful, for the first time in many weeks. I sat on the left of T-Dog and we were joking around, mainly me commenting on his culinary skills, which mind you, were excellent. Why wasn't he cooking for us at the camp? Behind me was Daryl leaning on another table, a full bottle of wine in his hand and empty plate next to him, on his left Glenn was sitting on a table. His cheeks flushed and he was laughing at a joke Dale just said. Speaking of Dale, he stood next to Rick and was filling Lori's glass with more alcohol and I could see a grin on his face.

"You know, in Italy, children have a little bit of wine with dinner. And in France." Lori was laughing at that and shaking her head.

"Well, and when Carl is in Italy or France, he can have some then." She said and took a sip of her own drink. The boy was looking at her pleadingly and Rick chuckled.

"What's going to hurt? Come on." Lori snorted, trying not to laugh and I was grinning because I could see that she's close to breaking down. Oh that'll be fun.

"Fine" Dale took Carl's glass and poured him a small amount of wine. Daryl grabbed another bottle and started making rounds around the table to fill up other glasses. Carl took his glass and slowly took a sip out of it. His face scrunched and twisted as he swallowed.

"Eww." We all burst into a laugh, enjoying this friendly banter. Lori patted Carl's shoulder and took his glass to empty its content into her own.

"That's my boy."

"It tastes nasty."

"Can you imagine his reaction to whiskey?" I asked T, a big smile on my face, and he just laughed lauder at that image.

"You-- you stick to soda pop there, bud." Shane was the only one not happy around the table. The grim expression on his face, fingers laced together, not looking directly at us. 

"Not you, Glenn." Daryl spoke while filling Shane's glass. 

"What?"

"Keep drinking, little man. I want to see how red your face can get." People were laughing again at that comment and I looked at the brown-haired man and made my own.

"You keep drinking too Daryl, I want to see how much more talkative you can be."

"Pfff, shut up woman." He made his way around and poor more drink for me.

"Are you trying to get me drunk, Daryl Dixon?" I wiggled my eyebrows, and his face flushed with red, and not just because of the amount of alcohol he had. T-Dog nudged my side and we started to laugh once more. That's when Rick stood up and rose his glass. 

"It seems to me we haven't thanked our host properly."

"He is more than just our host." T added. 

"Hear, hear!" 

"Booya!" We all rose our glasses and cheered Jenner, who sat slightly away, an uncomfortable smile on his face. 

"So when are you going to tell us what the hell happened here, Doc?" Oh, fuck you, Shane. Obviously he had to speak, stopping the first nice night we had in months. 

"Not now, Shane!" I told him quietly, but he just side glanced at me and turned his attention back to Jenner. 

"All the other doctors that were supposed to be figuring out what happened, where are they?"

"We're celebrating, Shane. No need to do this now. " Rick said and slowly sat back down, but his face wasn't smiling anymore. 

"Whoa, wait a second. This is why we're here, right?" He looked at all of the people sitting around the table and then pointed his finger at Rick and me. "This was your move. We're supposed to, you know, find all the answers. Instead, we-- we found him." He chuckled darkly to himself and then pointed in the direction of a doctor. "Found one man. Why?"

Dr. Jenner swallowed the rest of his drink and nodded to himself, starting his story. "Well when things got bad, a lot of people just left." Everyone was listening to him intently. However annoying Shane's behavior was, we indeed came here in search of answers. "Went off to be with their families. And when things got worse-- when the military cordon got overrun-- the rest bolted."

"Every last one?"

"No. Many couldn't face walking out the door. They opted out. There was a rash of suicides." I took a slow sip of my wine, trying to wash down the bitter taste that rose up to my mouth. Every last one, this man was the only one left. There was no way in hell that he held any type of cure. No, if he did, he would start with that. And most definitely he wouldn't wait so long to let us in.

"You didn't leave. Why?" Andrea asked him.

"I just kept working, hoping to do some good." That answered all my questions, there was no cure, no solutions. This is the new world order we live in, where the dead outnumbers us greatly and try to eat us.

"Dude, you are such a buzzkill, man." Glenn's words were the last we spoke in the next twenty minutes.

After our bellies were full, we followed Jenner down the corridor back to the rooms we saw at the beginning.

"Most of the facility's power down, including housing. So you'll have to make do here." He was saying. There were seven rooms, from what I could see and I sighed inside, I'll have to share, again. I just wanted one peaceful night without other people, to relax to gather my thoughts. 

"Couches are comfortable, but there are cots in storage if you'd like. There's a rec room down the hall that you kids might enjoy. Just don't plug in the video games, OK?" He bent down to Carl and Sophia speaking directly to them. They nodded their heads quickly in agreement. "Or anything that drains power. Same applies. If you shower, go easy on the hot water. There are showers in most of the rooms." He turned around and disappeared in another corridor, leading back to a big room full of computers. Glenn, who stood at the front of our group turned around with a huge grin on his face.

"Hot water?"

"That's what the man said." T-Dog replied and everyone started to move towards the rooms. Before I even knew it all were occupied, except for one at the end of the corridor in the direction we came from. I made my way there and could hear the steps following me. I turned around in the door and saw Daryl, his thumb in his mouth, crossbow strapped over his shoulder and he was shifting in his spot showing anxiousness. I sighed, but inside I was doing a crazy victory dance. 

"No more rooms, hmm?"

"Nah. Is Ok with you?" He wasn't looking directly at me checking the color of the floor instead.

"Sure, but I take the couch, I can help you get the cot if you want." I said and finally made my way inside a small room. On the right there was another door, hopefully leading to a bathroom. In one corner there sat a navy couch, three big cushions decorating it. Next to it stood a small, squared coffee table, made of some dark wood. By the opposite wall, I could see cabinets. Not bad overall, still enough space for an extra bed. When I turned to look at Daryl, he was gone, probably looking for a storage room, his crossbow propped against a wall. 

I put my backpack on the couch and my weapons lied down next to it, my bow, machete, hunting knife and reigns with throwing knives. I just hoped that kids won't come here and try to play with any of it. I reached into my pack and grabbed a fresh set of clothes, one and only pair of black leggings I owned, an oversized green t-shirt with an FBI logo on it. My training gear, I used to wear it at the gym and sparing ring. A fresh set of panties and fluffy socks, which I could tell were close to their expiry date. Maybe I could find some stitching kit and ask Carol if she could fix it for me, and my pants. I bet she knows how to do that sort of stuff. 

Those in hand I made my way to the bathroom, closing the door behind me. It was small, but after months of washing up in the lake at the quarry I really didn't care about it. I lowered the seat of the toilet and put my clothes on it. On the wall opposite the shower, there were two shelves, both had towels on them. There was a cabinet above the sink and I quickly opened it, inspecting the content. We were in luck, there were all essentials there, some unbranded shampoo and conditioner. Bottle of shower gel and a few razors in the box. I couldn't see any toothbrushes but there was a small bottle of mouth wash and that's what I grabbed first, taking some in my mouth. I twirled it around in my mouth while taking off my dirty clothes and putting them into a corner. I spat the mouth wash out and I already felt cleaner than before. Grabbing all washing accessories I stepped into the shower and let the warm water run over me. For the first minute or so I just let the water soak my dirty body and hair, I watched all the grease and dried blood go down the drain. Finally I washed my hair, twice and left the conditioner in, while I washed my body and shaved. When I stepped out of the shower I finally felt clean. I wrapped one towel around myself and the other around my hair.

When I left the bathroom, fully dressed in fresh clothes, my long messy curls still half-wet, I saw Daryl prepping himself a cot. He took one of the big pillows from the couch and had blanket neatly folded at one end. His pack, which saw better days opened and fresh shirt lying down. 

"All yours, I tried not to use all the hot water." He grunted in answer and moved to the bathroom, without a word. I just shrugged and put my dirty clothes into a backpack, we'll have to ask Jenner about washing machines or other ways of doing our laundry. After that I made my way to the rec room, wanting to see what it was holding. 

There wasn't anyone inside. I could see a few sofas scattered around the big TV, a shelf filled with movies and two big bookcases full of books. Two tables and a few chairs in the middle of the room, and a vending machine in the corner. I walked to the bookshelf and read through the titles, gently touching the edges. After some time of searching I picked up five of them and decided to go back to my room. I didn't feel like socializing tonight and I knew that soon this room will be full of people. Daryl won't bother me. In the doorway I was stopped by T-Dog, who looked like he just got out of the shower.  
"Whoa, girl, look at your hair!" He gently touched a lock of my springy hair and pulled it a little. I smacked his arm playfully and gave him a smirk.

"Hey, watch it!"

"Did you enjoy your bath?"

"Best damn bath I had, ever." I pushed my hair out of my face and cocked my head. "How about you, T? Who are you sharing with?"

"It was hard to leave, that's for sure, the water felt so nice and foreign, you know what I mean?" I just nodded at that. "I'm with Shane. What about you? I'm pretty sure I saw particular redneck, venturing behind you." He wiggled his eyebrows and was grinning like it was Christmas morning and he was five. I gave him a stern look and shook my head at his insinuations.

"Yeah, there weren't any more rooms. It's cool, he's quiet so I can do my light reading." I rose my arms, which were full of books, hoping that, it will stop his comments.

"Oh c'mon Elena, I saw the way you look at him like he would be some cookie."

"T! He's attractive and so what? I enjoy making him uncomfortable it's the best fun I can get in the apocalypse. It doesn't mean I'll throw myself at him! And now, if you don't mind, I'll go back to my room." T-Dog's smile didn't falter as I was passing him, so I quickly added.  
"To read! Get your head out of the gutter, mister."

I opened the door to our room and the first thing I noticed was Daryl lying on his cot, one arm under his head, the other holding onto a bottle of whiskey. The other thing, was the fact that he was clean. His hair was still damp and his face wasn't dirty. I could actually see how tanned he was, from Georgia's sun, high cheekbones visible on his face. A little bit of brown scruff on his chin and around his mouth and cheeks. I could see this pretty blue eyes, not squinting at everyone for once, the eyes who were now staring right at me. 

"What?" He grunted. Well it's good to know that he didn't scrub down that attitude of his.

"Nothing," I replied while closing the door and making my way to the couch. "I just don't think I ever saw you so clean, since we met."

"Shut up." He took a large gulp of drink, to hide his discomfort. 

"Oh come on. You like it." I sat down on the couch, leaning my back on the armrest and pulling my legs up. I looked through the books before I picked up _'The Lost Symbol'._ I loved Dan Brown's books, they were always full of action, mystery, and puzzles. I put other books on the floor and opened it on the first page. I was reading in peace, already three quarters into the book, just getting to an interesting past, for about 20 minutes, when I could hear Daryl move slightly and clear his throat. I looked up at him and send him a questioning look.

"You ok?"

"How come ya so far already? Ya just started readin' it." Ah, the question everyone asks and the one I hoped he wouldn't.

"I'm not skipping words if that's what you're suggesting." I put the book down on my lap and shifted my position a little, stretching out my legs. I leaned forward and grabbed the bottle out of his hands he just muttered something under his nose as I took a big swing of a drink. The taste of golden liquid instantly spread through me, warming me up from head to toes. "I can read two thousand words per minute." I shrugged my shoulders and gave him the drink back. He was biting his bottom lip again and his eyes never left my face.

"So, ya like extra smart or somethin'?" At that I blushed and looked down at my hands. I wasn't ashamed of my brain, or of how much I achieved in life before, but for some reason, I was scared that he will think less of me if I'll answer truthfully. I didn't want him to look at me like I was some smart, uptight lady from a big city. I wasn't that kind of person. I tried not to look down at anyone and not to behave as I'd be better than them, because I'm not. We all have our flaws and I sure had plenty. 

"Does it matter?" I finally looked up trying to catch his eyes with my grey ones. "Does it matter, what diplomas I have or how quickly I can read, how high is my IQ?"

"It's just a stupid question, woman." He mumbled after a while, taking another swing from the bottle.

"Yeah, but will the answer change how you see me? Will you think that I'm someone else if I'll tell you." Now he shifted his position and turn onto his left side, fully facing me, propping his head on his hand. 

"No." I swallowed and smirked at him.

"Alrighty, I'll keep you to that, Dixon." He rolled his eyes but still was waiting for me to answer. "Except reading super fast, I have a Ph.D. in Psychology and a BA in Criminal Justice. I finished my doctorate while I was already working for the FBI. I finished Academy second in my class. You know the rest, a lot of my hunting skills come from my time at The Farm. I know Krav Maga and probably would be able to kill someone in twenty different ways with a spoon." 

I added the last part just to see his reaction. I don't know how to kill anyone with blunt utensils, but I guess if I'd have to I could've. His posture didn't change, face blank and eyes still connected with mine.

"So, ya smart." At that I threw my head back and laughed. Do you know that pure, uncontrollable belly laugh sometimes escapes you? Yeah, that one. I covert my mouth with my hand and tried to calm myself down, but looking at him and seeing that small half-smirk on his handsome face, just made me giggle more. I shook my head finally after a few minutes and took a deep breath. I grabbed the bottle again and drank some of the whiskey, it was now more than half empty and I was feeling a bit sorry for Daryl, as hungover after that will be a bitch.

"That's seriously only thing you got out of what I said?"

"Nah, but it made ya laugh." At that something stirred at the bottom of my belly and I smiled softly at him. "How come ya never talk about it?"

"Daryl, I don't just walk around broadcasting about my life to everyone."

"Well I already knew you're resourceful. It ain't matter that ya smarter than me."

"I'm not smarter than you Daryl." I sat up and passed him the drink. Lowering my feet to the ground I put away my book. "I might be more educated, but that doesn't mean anything. Especially in this new world." He blushed slightly and looked away while gulping more alcohol down. 

"You're skilled and quick thinking, you know how to survive, you have a strategic mind." And then I winked at him, my lips parting slightly as I licked them, "And you're super hot, so there's that." I could see that he nearly choked on whiskey, and there was no part of his face which wasn't red, all the way to the tip of his ears. He caught roughly and moved onto his back, one arm over his face, the other still holding the bottle.

"Shut up, woman. Better go to sleep, ya drunk." I knew that I pushed his buttons enough tonight and so I stood up and went to turn the light off, made my way back to the couch and closed my eyes, slowly drifting off. My last thoughts were, that in the end, with everything that happened today, it wasn't a bad day.


	9. Chapter 9

Day 48

If I was dreaming that night, it was peaceful and not worth remembering. When I opened my eyes in the morning my mouth tasted of whiskey and it was really dry. What actually woke me up, was a soft knocking on the door, so I slowly stood up and opened it, hoping that whoever it was they didn't wake up Daryl. If anyone here deserves sleep it would be him. And maybe Andrea.  
On the other side, I could see Carol, smiling at me, Sophia by her side with her doll in hand.

"Morning, we heading up for breakfast. T-Dog's doing eggs, I thought you wouldn't want to miss it."

"Thanks, Carol, I'll just put myself together and wake up Daryl and we'll be there soon." Her eyebrows rose up and smile got wider, while she tried to take a peek behind me, at the snoring man.

"Carol!" I half-laughed, half grunted. "We slept in separate beds, nothing funny, alright. Now go, go. I never woke him up before, don't know what his reaction will be. If he kills someone, better if it would be just me." I could still hear her chuckle even after I closed the door. I made my way to the bathroom and used again a mouth wash, trying to get rid of the bad taste of alcohol. If we're leaving this place, I'm so taking it with me.

I walked out quietly, trying not to disturb my roommate and saw that he already was woken up. He stood by his cot, changing his t-shirt into one of his sleeveless shirts. But that's not what caught my attention. On his right shoulder blade he had a tattoo, something I couldn't see properly from where I stood. The rest of his muscular back though... I took one quiet breath and put a blank expression on my face. Almost all of his back was covered in scars, deep and red but certainly not fresh, no. Those were old, not treated properly in the hospital, and all of a sudden all his attitude made sense to me. The way he's closed off and doesn't like to be touched. The way he tenses up when someone gets too close to him or too personal. How he can't take a compliment even if it's true. Because of all the time I spent with him I knew, that Daryl is a very proud and stubborn man, and that last thing he'd like was pity or any kind of acknowledgment of what's on his back.

I made my way to my pack to search for some hair ties, not looking at him, but from the corner of my eye I could see that he flinched and froze for a second when he heard me walking in.

"Carol stopped by, they making breakfast. T-Dog again, so I bet it'll be good." I put two hairbands over my wrist and walked towards the door. "Do you want me to make your coffee, while you getting ready?" I knew that he already put his shirt on, so I looked at him, corners of my mouth up and cocked head. Nothing happened, there was nothing to be seen, and I most definitely won't search for answers. That's how I hoped I looked at this very moment.

"Yeah, black, two sugars." His voice was huskier, maybe because of alcohol, he drank last night, maybe because of all the emotions he tried to hide. I just nodded and walked out. As I was walking to the cafeteria, I could hear doors opening and Shane walked out, holding his head.

"Morning, hungover?"

"Just a little, you?"

"No, I didn't actually drink that much last night." We walked in and I said my greetings to everyone and got to the coffee machine. Almost everyone was already here, Glenn sitting holding his head and moaning. I took three cups out handing one of them to Shane.

"Hey, you feel as bad as I do?" Rick in fact did look bad, watery eyes with bags under them, face tired and red.

"Worse." Shane didn't even look up when he answered. I let him pour himself coffee first and then took a jug from him and started filling up mine. One black and the other black with two sugars, I usually took mine with a little bit of creamer, but beggars can't be choosers. T-Dog made his way to us, handing me a pan with eggs on them, and I could feel my stomach growl from anticipation.

"The hell happened to you? Your neck." He asked Shane, and that's when I noticed that Deputy had three deep scratch marks on his neck.

"Must have done it in my sleep." Shane just shrugged it off and sat down by the table. I grabbed two plates and pushed some eggs on them, added a few stipes of bacon that were left.

"Never seen you do that before." Rick commented.

"Me neither. Not like me at all."

T-Dog nudged my side so I looked up at him, chewing slowly on my eggs, with a questioning look. "Look at you, domesticated wife, prepping breakfast for Mister redneck."

"Oh fuck off, T. Next time I'll wake up before you I'll make you some too, happy?" I swallowed before answering and then took a sip of the hot, bitter beverage. That's when Jenner came into the room, greeting everyone and like me before heading straight for a coffee machine. Daryl walked in just seconds behind him.

"Doc, I don't mean to slam you with questions first thing." Dale started speaking almost instantly. Jenner poured himself the drink and I handled Daryl his mug and plate. "Thanks."

"But you'll anyway." The doctor finally answers, turning to face people sitting at the table.

"We didn't come here for the eggs." Whoa, Andrea, how about cutting down morning sass, just a little bit.

"No, I understand. Finish your food first."

I quickly chewed on the last of my bacon and took another mouthful of coffee. After we finished, Jenner leads us back to the big room with computers and set his mug next to one of them. He clicked something on the keyboard and then spoke out.

"Give me a playback of TS 19." I stood somewhere to the left, behind him and leaned on one of the tables, just like many others.

 _"Playback od TS 19"_ The big screen in front came to life and suddenly images of a brain were visible.

"Few people ever got a chance to see this. Very few." I crossed my arms on my chest and was waiting for whatever he was about to show us.

"Is that a brain?" Carl asked.

"An extraordinary one. Not that is matters in the end." He looked thoughtful for second before he continued. "Take us in for the EIV."

 _"Enhanced Internal View."_ The screen zoomed in on one of the pictures and now we could see the brain more closely, showing the side of it and finally showing a deep view of it, lines and connections inside.

"What are those lights?" Shane asked.

"It's a person's life. Experiences, memories-- it's everything. Somewhere in all that organic wiring, all those ripples of light, is you-- the thing that makes you unique and human."

"You don't make sense ever?" I snorted at Daryl's comment and gave him a short answer.

"Those are synapses, connections inside the brain."

"Yes, exactly Elena. Those are electric impulses in the brain that carry all the messages. They determine everything a person says, does, or thinks from the moment of birth to the moment of death." At that I stood straighter and looked closer at the image he was showing us. It was extraordinary and beautiful to see.

"Death? That's what it is? A vigil?" That came out of Rick, who slowly made his way across a room to stand closer to the doctor.

"Yes. Or rather, the playback of the vigil."

"This person died? Who?" Andrea stood up from her spot and was watching the screen carefully. I could see sadness and reminiscence in her eyes.

"Test Subject 19. Someone who was bitten and infected and volunteered to have us record the process." Something in his face caught my attention, sad smile and the way he wasn't taking the eyes of the screen. Jenner definitely knew this person before they died. "Vi, scan forward to the first event."

 _"Scanning to first event."_ We could see the time change and how the image sped up. Now the brain was getting darker, black vein-like lines spreading slowly, from the base, gradually overtaking all of it.

"What is that?" Glenn asked.

"It invades the brain like meningitis. The adrenal glands hemorrhage. The brain goes into shutdown, then the major organs." At this point black lines have completely taken over the picture on the screen, no bright lights to flicker through them. "Then death. Everything you ever were or ever will be gone." Andrea was staring at that image and I could see silent tears spill down her cheeks.

"Is that what happened to Jim?" Sophia asked her mother.

"Yes." Carol answered and at this point everybody looked grim, remembering the recent losses. Andrea turned around to try to hide her face, but Jenner noticed.

"She lost somebody two days ago. Her sister." It was Lori who answered the doctor's unspoken question.

"I lost somebody, too. I know how devastating it is." He tried to comfort her, offering these kind words. But I was thinking about something else.

"That shows us what happens when infection takes over. What about when they come back? Are they any brain functions left?" I asked, stroking my chin and thinking about all of this. Jenner turned back to me, scanning me with his eyes and nodded.

"Scan to the second event." He ordered.

_"Scanning to second event."_

"The resurrection times vary wildly. We have reports of it happening in as little as three minutes. The longest we heard of was eight hours. In the case of this patient, it was two hours, one minute, seven seconds." That was very specific. My suspicions, that this dead person was someone very close to him, were growing. Looking back at the screen I could see the changes. The brain was definitely dead, all dark, but then in the brain stem, something started to flash. It wasn't like before, this was grim, red lights slowly flicking at the core. Some tried to carry on, to the further parts but were quickly dying out.

"It restarts the brain?" Lori asked, a hint of disbelief in her voice.

"No, just the brain stem. Basically, it gets them up and moving."

"But they're not alive." Rick said though it sounded more like a question than a statement. Jenner spun around looking at him and pointed at the image.

"You tell me."

Rick shook his head and bit his lip in concentration. "It's nothing like before. Most of that brain is dark."

"Dark, lifeless, dead. The frontal lobe, the neocortex, the human part, that doesn't come back-- the you part. Just a shell, driven by mindless instincts." A second later we could see a shade of a gun and image shown us a bullet traveling from the forehead and through the brain, instantly killing the patient.

"God. What was that?" Carol asked.

"He shot his patient in the head. Didn't you?" Andrea answered.

"Vi, power down the main screen and the workstations."

"But, Doc," I spoke, remembering parts of my doctorate. "Why are they craving human flesh? I mean, from what I can remember it's the hypothalamus that is responsible for feeling hunger and thirst. And here we could see, that part of a brain is not active" I slowly walked towards him and looked at him questioningly.

"That's something I don't know. Our guess was that it's part of the disease, like programming in it."

"So you have no idea what it is, do you?" Andrea was the one who spoke again after a moment of silence.

"It could be microbial, viral, parasitic, fungal."

"Or the wrath of God." Jacqui added, knowing her, not jocking at all.

"There is that." Jenner's face was full of regret and I felt like he was sorry that he doesn't have answers we were after.

"Somebody must know something-- somebody somewhere."

"There are others, right?" Lori's voice was shaken and she was hugging Carl to her side. "Other facilities?"

"There may be some. People like me."

"But you don't know?" Rick started pacing now and I just starred in front of me, at an empty and dark screen. There was nothing left, at least not here and presumably not in DC. Humanity never had a chance in the first place, this disease spread too quickly, too far, to even figure out what it was. Another question was how did it happen in the first place. Was it some kind of weapon, released by unfriendly parties, was it something that just evolved through the years without us noticing? But if so, how patient zero happened? Is it something we gonna get immune to, like flu? But most importantly, what will happen to us, our little group in the future? The resources from the stores will eventually finish, there will be no medicine, no food. Fuck, no cigarettes. Maybe I can find some nice farm, tobacco seeds and just make a home there. Wait, how one actually grow tobacco--

"Dr. Jenner, I know this has been taxing for you," Dale's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. "And I hate to ask one more question. But that clock, it's counting down. What happens at zero?" I looked at where he was pointing and for the first time, I saw the big clock on the wall, red numbers in fact slowly counting down.

"The basement generators, they run out of fuel."

"And then?" Rick asked, but Jenner just shook his head and walked out, so he asked the AI. "Vi, what happens when the power runs out?"  
"When the power runs out, facility-wide decontamination will occur."  
That definitely can't be good.

  
I was lying down on my stomach, just finishing my book and trying very hard to not think about what decontamination of this facility means. I really hoped that Rick will find some answers downstairs, in the basement.

"What the hell?" I heard Daryl stand up and lift his arm to the air conditioning and that's when the lights turned off itself. I quickly moved and dropped the book on the couch following Daryl, who was leaning on a doorframe.

"Yeah what's going on?" Daryl said and I could see around him, Jenner walking through the hallway towards the main station room. The doctor snatched a bottle of whiskey out of Daryl's hand, not stopping even for a second.

"Energy use is being prioritized."

"Air isn't a priority? And lights?" At this time we all started to follow him, wanting to find out what's going on.

"It's not up to me. Zone 5 is shutting itself down."

"Hey! Hey, what the hell does that mean?" Daryl jogged to the doctor, trying to get answers. "Hey, man, I'm talking to ya. What do ya mean, it's shutting itself down? How can a building do anything?"

"You'd be surprised."

"Rick?" Lori called out and leaned over a balcony. I did too and could see Rick, Shane, Glenn and T-Dog running on the bottom floor. At this point Jenner already climbed down the stairs and continued walking, not stopping even when Rick approached him.

"Jenner, what's happening?"

"The system is dropping all nonessential uses of power. It's designed to keep the computers running to the last possible second. It starts as we approach that half-hour mark." We walked into the station room and I looked over to the clock on the wall. Just like he said, it was exactly thirty-one minutes left. The doctor took another sip from the bottle and then handled it back to Daryl. Then he turned around to us, looking specifically at Andrea and said.

"It was French."

"What?"

"They were the last ones to hold out as far as I know. While our people were bolting up the doors and committing suicide in the hallways, they stayed in the labs until the end." I looked at him and noticed how he didn't care. He was emotionless when he was saying all this information, his eyes cold and empty. Suddenly out of blue he gives us all the answers, just before that decontamination. He is dressed properly, a nice shirt, tie and his official lab coat. Of course, we did meet him only yesterday, but that was a completely different mannerisms. I remembered how he looked like when he was telling us about the infection and how he waited almost to the last second to let us in. And then it clicked. I saw that kind of behavior before, in front of us stood a man who had nothing left to lose, a man ready to die.

"Rick, I think we should go and pack." Sheriff's eyes were quickly on mine, and he took in my serious face and tone of my voice, he nodded once and followed Jenner up the stair to the platform.

I didn't wait for the others, just jogged to the entrance, not listening to the rest of the conversation, as I was on the other side and started down the corridor I heard alarms going off and doors closing. I spun around to check what is happening and could see the panic on Rick's face, just before big, thick, milky colored, glass door separated us.

No. No, no, no, no.  
I run back to the door and banged on them, trying to see what is happening, but I could just recognize shades, and then after a minute I heard muffled shouts as if they were arguing. Please tell me that they trying to make Jenner open this door again. I looked around for any type of console which I could try to access. Not that I knew how, but I'd try anything to free them. There was none that I could see. Now I could only hear just one person yelling, but couldn't distinguish the words, and then automated voice, which I really hated, spoke. It's monotone voice, echoing through the facility.

_"HIT's-- High-Impulse Thermobaric fuel-air explosives consist of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other know explosive except nuclear."_

Oh, my fucking god. I started banging at the door again and could feel my body shake from all the emotions. I'm going to fucking die here, not just in a way I don't want, but also separated from people I know and start to care about!

_"The vacuum pressure effect ignites the oxygen between 5,000 and 6,000 degrees and is useful when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired."_

I leaned my forehead on a cool glass and took a deep breath. I knew that I should trust my gut. Maybe we should've to ask Jenner better questions, maybe if I pressed for the correct answers sooner. No, instead I decided that full stomach and pleasant dinner was a better option. These people... I knew that it'll happen. Those people are making me lose my defenses, making me lower emotional shields and it makes me weaker, less efficient, less helpful for the group.  
Three figures were coming to the door on the other side and even though I couldn't see properly through the thick glass, I could tell it was Daryl, Rick and Glenn. I almost saw them properly when they put their faces close to it and saw Rick mouthing "HIT's".

I just nodded and finally let my tears spill down my cheeks, I just couldn't hold it any longer. I was scared, I was about to be burned alive and on top of it, I was about to go through it by myself. Rick was trying to tell me something else but I couldn't understand. He was talking too fast and clearly didn't realize that the glass was soundproof. I pointed at my ears and shook my head and then banged at the door. He came closer and I watched his mouth as he spoke again, slower. I think he was telling me to pack the bags.

"Bags?" He quickly nodded and turned around and walked away. I looked to where Daryl was standing and could see him pacing in front oh the door. I knocked on the door, hoping to get his attention. He faced towards me but before I could try to tell him something he just chucked his bottle at the door, small pieces splattering everywhere, and then he was gone from my view. Glenn gave me a nod and just like that I was alone once again.

I quickly wiped tears from my cheeks and looked at a watch on my wrist. I don't know how much more time I had. Assuming I stood here for about ten minutes, I still had twenty to go. I had to have hope that Rick will convince Jenner to let them out.

I run down the corridor and back up to where we slept. I barged into the first room and filled two bags that were there. I think it was Carol's and Sophia's room. Once their clothes where packed I moved to the bathroom and emptied the cabinet from under the sink into one of the backpacks. I left the room and put their stuff by the door and repeated that process in every single room.

When I packed my own backpack, I made sure to put two of the books inside it. Again leaving mine and Daryl things on the corridor I ran to the cafeteria room, checking the watch at this same time. Still, 8 minutes left. I had Shanes duffel bag with me, as it was the most empty one and started putting food in there. Some chips, cans with beans and peas and sweetcorn, a box of powdered eggs that T was using just this morning. I found a few granola bars as well. Finally bottles of water. There weren't that many in here but that will do for a few days, assuming that I'm not gonna die in the next five minutes.

I sprinted back to our rooms and left a duffel bag with mine. I grabbed other people's things first, Carol and Sophia, Lori and Rick, Glenn and Dale and then run to the balcony area and threw them over, so they landed downstairs. I knew they didn't have anything breakable in there so it was a good and quick solution.

Then I went back and put on all my weapons, my backpack, then quiver, then my bow. I put Daryl's crossbow over my shoulder and Shane's duffel over the other. Then what was left was just Andrea's, T-Dog's and Jacqui's bags all three not that heavy. Still it was weighing me down a little and when I finally made it downstairs, putting down the bags next to the others I was sweating badly.

I checked my watch once more, three minutes left and they still weren't here. I was about to make my way to the computer room when I heard voices and people yelling. They made it out! But now we had an issue with the main door not being open.

"Elena!" Rick was first in my vision and I couldn't be happier to see sheriff's face.

"I got the bags, how much more time we got?"

"Four minutes!" That answer came from Glenn, while Shane and Daryl run straight at the glass windows to try to break them with axes.

"Alright, ladies grab your bags, where is the rest of us?"

"They staying." Lori was the one to look at me and we shared a quick, sad look. No time for mourning.

"Ok Lori you grab yours and Rick's and Jacqui's" When I said it I could see T running at the window with a metal chair, in order to break it.

"Carol you take yours, Dale's and Andrea's. Sophia, put your backpack on, alright?" The girl looked at me and nodded quickly following my order. That's when I could hear shotgun going off and turned to see Shane shooting at the glass, which again, didn't even have a scratch.

"Glenn. Glenn! Take yours and T-Dogs's bags now, we need to be ready."

I could see Carol making her way to Rick with her bag. "Rick, I have something that might help."

"Carol, I don't think a nail file's going to do it." Ok I get it Shane we are all a little stressed at the moment, but that's just rude. She just ignored him and continued, finally pulling an item from the bottom of her bag.

"Your first morning at camp, when I washed your uniform, I found this in your pocket." A fucking grenade, how the hell I haven't seen this in her bag before? Oh fuck, I could blow myself up just by throwing her bag like that! Rick quickly grabbed it and run to for the door.

"Look out!" Everyone sprinted to get to a hiding place. I slide under the stairs and turned my back to the blast site.

"Oh shi--"

"Rick get down!"

The blown was big, I never was that close to the exploding grenade, and now I knew why. I was covering my face and ears but still, after all the shaking stopped, I felt a little dazed. But there was no time for that now, so I quickly got to my feet and grabbed the bags.

"Shane!" I shouted and throw his duffel in his direction, he caught it and we all made the way to the newly made entrance. I could feel a hand on my elbow and someone spun me around. I could see Daryl and his blue eyes, boring deep into my soul, but he didn't say anything. Just nodded and I did this same and handed him his crossbow, and we stepped over broken glass and door frame. He went first and then helped me down and we were running for our lives to the cars.

Sound of explosion we created attracted some walkers, I took my handgun out and shot a couple who were in our way. As I run I took my bow and quiver off and threw then into the bed of Daryl's truck when we finally made it there. Next was my backpack.

"El, quickly!" I opened the door and sat down in the passenger's seat as he ran for the driver's side.

"Why are we not going?! They're already in the cars!" He shrugged and started the engine as I was watching the building we just left. "Oh my god, Daryl, look they coming out!" Dale stepped out first, Andrea just after him. I checked my watch and saw that they have only seconds left until HIT's will activate.

"They not gonna make it..." I reached to my left and pressed the horn, hard. They were running but still, it wasn't enough. Then I saw it, there wasn't any sound yet, but I could see orange embers deep inside the building.

"Get down" Daryl all but pushed me down hard, so I was half-sitting, half-lying on the seats, and then he covered me with his own body. When it finally happened the sound was way louder than anything I ever heard. It was ringing in my ears, even when I tried to cover them with hands. I swear that I could feel the heat of the explosion, the air suddenly thicker and hotter. We stayed like that, I don't know for how long until I felt his weight lifting off me so I sat back up and looked at what was left of the CDC. The flames were still raging but I could see that building was completely leveled to the ground.

Both Jacqui and Jenner gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I was thinking about the CDC episode for a long time. When I started this story I wanted my character to have an impact. Not in 'let's kill Governor straight away'. But still in a way of, how her presence could affect the group. I didn't want to stick her inside that room and try to convince Jenner. In my opinion Rick did it perfectly and it helped his leadership role. I didn't want her to be furious, another person to try break through the doors, all trying to stop Daryl. How many times I can use these same things, right. So I came up with this solution, and I hope you all enjoyed it!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, guys! Thanks for all the comments, they really motivate me to write more!  
> Answering the questions, yes I'll follow canon of the TV series, to a degree. Now I don't want to spoil too much but there will be some differences and potentially, some epic saving people who died in the series. That's all I can say ;)
> 
> Keep reading, keep commenting so I know what you think! Cheers.

_I was running, my black, muddy boots were hitting the ground heavily. With every step I took I could feel myself getting weaker and slower. No matter how hard I pushed my body forward I finally came to a stop. Tall, green trees were surrounding me and I could barely see any light coming through the leaves. The quiet of the forest was overwhelming, there weren't any bird sounds or any other signs of wildlife. Suddenly in front of me, there was a walker, reaching for me with its rotten hands and arms. I reached for my weapons and realized I don't have any. That can't be right, I always have something with me. Why am I in the woods in the first place? The walker pushed me down to the ground and I could see clear as day, his strong jaw trying to bit my skin, bushy grey eyebrows and grey eyes, so similar to mine.  
"Why did you do it?!" His voice was raspy and deep, just like I remembered. "Why weren't you there?!" But that's not right. Walkers couldn't speak, breathe on you, look at you with hatred.  
Now there was another body on my, grabbing my arms, dragging its nails through my skin. Her dirty blond curls in a mess and full of blood. Brown eyes full of tears.  
"Were where you Elena? We needed you!" I shook under their weight and screamed loudly, crying in pain. Crying because they couldn't be here and yet they lied on top of me, tearing my flesh apart, accusing me of something I had no control over.  
"I-- I couldn't. Mama, you know-- I didn't mean it." I looked at my parents and their faces disappeared, in their place the one which hunted my dreams, for many weeks. Dreams, that's it. I'm dreaming, I need to wake up!  
"Hello sweetheart. Did you miss me?" His vicious smile sends cold chills through my body and I tried to move, kick him off me. His handsome features twisting, something dark and evil in them. Green eyes, so close to my face. "I'm gonna cut you up nicely, way better than last time." His whisper made me freeze and I saw him lifting my shirt, exposing my scars. He lifted his knife, light reflecting on a surface of a blade. No! Not again, I won't let him. I closed my eyes, and pinched myself. It's a dream, just a fucking nightmare. Fucking wake up Elena, now!_

"El, for fuck sake, wake up!" There was a strong hand on my upper arm, and someone was shaking me, hard. I sat up, breath heavy and shallow like I couldn't fill my lungs properly. I looked to my left and saw Daryl, a worried expression on his face. It's just Daryl, I'm in his pick-up. It's fine, I'm safe. I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes for a second, running a hand down my face.

"Sorry." I mumbled, ashamed that he saw me in such a stage, and probably heard me scream.

"Bad dream?" I just nodded sharply, trying to calm my racing pulse and stabilize my breathing. "We're here."

We were just coming to a stop, in front of a large building, surrounded by a brick wall, wild plants all around it. Earlier today, just after CDC blew up we nearly lost Shane. His jeep wouldn't start and the RV started taking off. Walkers were slowly making their way towards our cars, Shane grabbed his gear and run for RV but, I guess Rick couldn't see him. He probably would be gone if not for Daryl, who honked his horn, alerting the others. Oh and making geeks turn their attention to us. That was not fun, let me tell you.  
After some time Rick's voice told us through CB that we're going to the Vatos, in hope that Guillermo will take us in, even if just for a night. So this is where we parked, I left the car and reached into the bed of a truck for my packs, this time not leaving my guns. Who knows how many other people are around, just waiting to loot abandoned vehicles.

Daryl and I, we made our way to the rest of the group and started walking to the hole in the wall.

"Look's like they barely hanging on. What makes you think they'll take in any strangers." Andrea asked, looking around at the area.

"The guns we gave them, they own us. Good call, for once." Daryl commented, directing the last part to Rick. We squizzed through the small space and looked around, on the first part of the courtyard.

"Rick, where are the lookouts?" I asked him, and grabbed my bow a little harder, reaching for one of the arrows.

"Exactly, G was saying that they always have at least two people." Glenn added. We spread out, weapons ready to shoot.

"Oh son of a bitch!" When I heard Shane I sped up and stopped next to him, taking in the view. On the inside courtyard, just in front of an entrance, there were bodies everywhere. It was a mess, bullet holes in the walls of a building, broken windows and a few walkers feasting on fallen comrades. And then one caught my attention, just in the middle.

"Oh. It's Miquel. And I think he's eating Jorge." I said in an emotionless tone.

"Jorge?" T-Dog asked.

"You know, the one I kneeled in the balls." Both, Carol and Lori, were holding kids, covering their faces so the little ones didn't have to see it. Andrea looked like she'll puke, and Dale was horrified. I was upset, Guillermo and his people were one of the good ones, even though we nearly killed each other at the beginning.

Walkers were starting to notice us, getting up to their feet and growling at us. I straightened up and lined up my arrow, pulled on a string and quickly aiming I let it loose hitting one of the closest walkers.

"I don't even care about the noise." Said Rick, his voice full of anger. I did, a little, but more I was concerned about ammunition, so I decided to stick to my bow. I grabbed another arrow and repeated the process many times, while men were shooting their guns at the geeks.

When we could see that all of them fall down, Shane urged us to the building, I ran too, trying to collect my arrows on the way. I pulled the bow over my shoulder and took Glock out. In closed of space I didn't want to push my luck.

Rick lead us through the darkness of the first building, and then we crossed to the other one, where the actual nursing home was located. We pilled in and there were few visible bodies, which made Carol and Sophia yelp in panic.

"Keep your voices down." Shane told them. But it was Daryl, who won the reward of the most insensitive guy on the planet when Sophia started crying.

"Put a sock in it!" He yelled-whispered, his tone demanding and full of venom.

"Leave her alone." Carol answered and hugged the girl harder.

"Then shut her up, before I'll!"

"Shut up, Daryl!" I grabbed his arm and pulled him away from them.

"Don't touch--"

"Shut up Dixon!" My voice was quiet but stern as I made him face me. I hope he could see anger on mine. "She's fucking twelve and she's fucking scared. Stop being a dick, before I'll kick your ass!" 

After that I let him go and moved away, Glock in my hand, keeping an eye for any walkers, while Rick and Shane discussed what to do. I could feel Daryl's burning gaze on the back of my head but just ignored him at the moment. It was nor the time nor the place to deal with his anger issues.

"We honk down for the night, Rick. You, me, Daryl and Elena swipe the building, make sure it's secure."

"Yes, T-Dog, you barricade those doors."

Four of us moved forward, checking the rooms while making our way to the cafeteria. When we got there we could see bodies, almost all elderly, residents of the nursing home. All shot down, mainly between the eyes. Didn't even had a chance to resurrect. The smell was horrendous, but not as bad as at CDC, flies everywhere circling above the dead. We moved on and soon were climbing the stairs, checking the rooms, one by one, looking out for geeks. We separated and I made my way through the rooms on the left. In one of them, I saw the body of a man and old woman, I made my way to look closer when the realization hit me. It was this same old lady, who prevented our fight with Guillermo and the guy in front of her, was Felipe, her grandson. He must've tried to protect her. I checked his body up close and spotted a few bullet wounds on his chest and then one at the side of his temple, she had only a head would, right between her eyes. Execution style. I sighed and stood up to check the other rooms, but all I found was just more bodies.

"Upstairs is our best bet. We've cleared a few rooms. We can barricade those if we have to." After we searched all the rooms, we moved bodies onto one of them, so the others didn't have to see it. Now we went back to the cafeteria and were listening to Rick's plans about what to do next. "We'll be alright."

"You sure this time? Or you lying to us like all the times before?!" I rose my eyebrows at Carol's statement. It was harsh and very unlike quiet woman I met at the quarry. I understood that she's scared and worried, but it's a tough world now and we do what we can.

"That's unfair. And not helpful at all." Thank you Lori, couldn't say it better myself. That put a blush on Carol's face but she was still angry.

"What the hell happened?" Glenn spoke in a small voice.

"What you think? They got overrun." Andrea stood in the middle of the room, arms crossed on her chest and trust me I can be a bitch, but she at the moment was aspiring to become a new bitch queen. I snorted and just shook my head.

"You're dumb." Was all I said.

"Oh I'm sorry, do you have something to say?!"

"Yeah." Daryl stepped in, I knew that he realized what actually happened here, and Andrea's stupid statement had this same effect on him. "How about observant?"

"Observant? A big word from the guy like you." Oh you little piece-- T-Dog quickly grabbed my arm and stopped me in my tracks, before I could make more than one step. Of course, Daryl didn't need a rescue, I knew that but I still just wanted to do something bad to Andrea's face. Something permanent, you know, a bit of plastic surgery, without anesthesia. "Three whole syllables."

"Walkers didn't do this," Daryl said, catching everyone's attention. "Geeks didn't show up till all of this went down. Someone attacked this place. Killed all these people and took whatever they wanted."

"Exactly, they're all shot in the head. We didn't find any walker inside here, and it's because none of them had a chance to come back. Perfect execution." I added, finally making T to release me.

"Yeah, ya worry about walkers. I'd be much more worried about people who came and did all this." Daryl turned back to Andrea nearly snarling in her direction. "Get a dictionary. Look it up. Observant." Then he just walked away heading upstairs. See, I knew that he's a smart guy, also I had to admit shutting Andrea like that, was kind of hot.

The atmosphere in the room we chose to stay in was very heavy. Andrea was glaring at everyone from her spot, separated from all of us. She was glaring at Dale, like all the time and it was starting to annoy me. Glenn was sulking in the corner, still not believing in what went down here. Kids were tired and scared, so was Carol, but that didn't stop her from watching Rick carefully. As to judge his every movement and word. God, how we came to this point? I was tired of this shit so I stood up and went to Shane.

"Hey, I packed your bag with some goodies, can I grab few? I'll get them to T." He looked up from his spot and nodded, moving his duffel closer to me. I grabbed a bottle of water and a couple packs of chips and left the room.

T-Dog was sitting on top of the stairs, rifle in his hands. He was our lookout, at least for now. We all knew that we couldn't just go to sleep, without anyone watching out for danger, I for sure wouldn't be able to fall asleep.

"Hey, I've got some food and water." I sat down, leaning my back on the wall and passed the man package of chips.

"Thanks. What you think will happen next?" T was in a thoughtful mood, I'm not sure if I liked it. I much more preferred our banter and casual conversations. When for a second you can forget that the world went to shit, you could do it with T. I sighed and closed my eyes.

"I don't know. Fort Benning probably, if Shane will have a say in it."

"You don't think it's a good idea?"

"I think, that if the military survived they may not be very welcoming. You heard yourself. Back at the camp, when Shane was talking about how he tried to save Rick. That soldiers were shooting everyone." I opened my eyes and looked at the man beside me. His shoulders dropped down and he ran a hand over his face. Finally, I reached for my snack and opened it.

"But it doesn't matter, we just need to stick together, you know?" I said and put a chip in my mouth. He hummed as an answer and started eating as well. We were quiet for a little bit before he spoke again.

"Marvel or DC?" I looked at him with absolute confusion.

"What?"

"I'm bored, so let's play twenty questions." I shook my head and chuckled.

"Alrighty, if we talking about comics then DC, but movies - Marvel, always." He nodded, as if that made sense and swallowed another chip. "Ok, old Star Wars, or new ones?"

"Oh, that's a tough one." He put a finger to his lips and took a second to think of an answer. "New ones, they have better effects."

I gasped and hold a hand over my heart. How could he disrespect the original episodes like that? "But, the storyline! You know, _'Luke, I'm your father.'_ it's classic." T-Dog laughed at my poor impression of Darth Vader, and I joined him. Yeah, it was shit.

"OK. The item you miss the most." It was my turn to think about it. What did I actually miss the most? I grinned inside, as I said with a blank face.

"It's a tie between the coffee machine and my vibrator." He chocked on the food he had in his mouth and started coughing. I moved to pat his back and laughed at his reaction. It was so easy to embarrass those guys.

"Oh my God, I didn't need that information!" I shrugged and moved back to my spot.

"Well, you asked." Moments later he grinned, like Cheshire cat and looked at something to my left. Daryl came into our view, Glenn quickly following him.

"What ya doing?" I shook my head and chuckled under my breath.

"Just passing time. Just asked Elena what item she misses the most." Oh no, you don't mister! I glanced at T and he was still smiling, not looking at me, at all.

"Oh. What did you say? I miss my Xbox." Glenn had no idea what he was asking for. That actually might be fun. Make him and Dixon very uncomfortable. So I made sure not to smile as I looked at both of them.

"My vibrator." Glenn's eyes widened and then he started to stutter, unsure what to say for that. Daryl took a deep breath and redness spread on his face all the way to the tip of his ears. T-Dog beside me was nearly dying, this is how hard he was laughing. "Or a coffee machine, I couldn't decide." Daryl turned around, ready to leave when Rick and Shane joined our little circle, both looking at us questioningly.

"What you laughing at?" Shane asked.

"You don't want to know!" Glenn nearly shouted, and moved forward, as to physically stop them from carrying on about the subject. At that I rose my hand to T and he gave me high five, while trying to stop his laughing fit.

"Alright guys. The plan is Fort Benning." Rick said. The men crouched down and I noticed a bottle of beer in Daryl's hand. I reached for it and searched for his eyes. Or I tried, he was still blushing and trying to avoid looking at me. But obviously, he saw my outstretched arm and handled me the drink.

"Tomorrow we gonna think which cars we don't need, try to find some more gas." I had a sip of beer, and passed it to T-Dog, who took it gladly.

"Try to get some shut-eye tonight. T, you have the first watch, then Daryl and then Elena." Shane spoke as men slowly stood up and started walking back to the room we occupied.

"Hey, Daryl!" I said before he had a chance to leave. He tensed and twisted his body slightly towards me, looking somewhere on the wall above my head. I wiggled my eyebrows at him. "We shared a beer, it's almost like a kiss."

"Stop!" He stormed off, mine and T-Dog's laughs following him.

**Day 49**

The next day we all had jobs to do, or should I say most of us. Andrea was still in a mood, so we avoided her like flames. Lori, Carol and kids were appointed to find some extra bags, if we were going to be scavenging we need a space to put stuff in. Daryl and T-Dog were on a mission of siphoning as much gas as they could, in the two-block area. Glenn, Rick, Shane and I were going to look through nearby buildings, see if we can find any more food or any other necessary supplies. Dale was on watch.

I was walking next to Glenn and we were going to check apartment building closes to the nursing home.

"You know it's pointless, right?" I said and Glenn looked at me, squinting at me. "I mean, vatos probably scavenged all that area already."

"Maybe, but maybe they missed something. Worth a try." He shrugged and we finally got to the building. It was a small, five-story apartment building, made of raw, red brick. It was old, with no automated doors, that's lucky for us. I tried to look through some of the lower windows, but couldn't see anything. I used the hilt of my hunting knife to bang on the door and we waited for about a minute but didn't hear anything on the other side. I reached for the handle and readied my knife, in case something jumps on us. Glenn held up a gun I gave him this morning. We didn't have a lot of blunt weapons, but I didn't want to walk around Atlanta with a loud one either. I borrowed him my Smith&Weston which had a silencer and threatened him, that if anything happens to it we will have an issue.

I tried the knob, but it wouldn't open. Interesting. Why would it be locked? For sure vatos had to try to get here before. I furrowed my brow and reached to my backpack. I emptied it before we left, so it had just essentials inside and extra space for whatever we would find. I reached inside and pulled out my toolset and just moments later I was picking the lock. Glenn didn't even question why I had it and how I knew how to do it. I think my speech about the gun scared him a little bit. I heard the familiar click and stood up, this time opening the door. There was no one on the other side so we walked in quietly. There were two doors, one on each side and old-looking stairs on the other side of the small hallway.

"How we doing it?" Glenn asked me. Good question my friend.

"I feel like we should check hallways first, to the very top. Make sure nothing comes down, as we try apartments. And then we check each door, starting at the top." He nodded and we slowly moved to the stairs, me in the lead. I grabbed one of the throwing knives so now I had a weapon in each hand and quietly climbed the stair.

It was clear until we got to the third floor. My heart was racing at this point and I tried to steady my breathing. I heard growls and some shuffling as we climbed the first flight of stairs leading to the third floor, so I rose my hand, telling Glenn to stop. I moved gently, one step after the other and when I could see the floor properly I noticed two walkers wondering in a corridor, the doors on the left wide open. They probably lived there once upon a time. I crouched and looked at young men behind me. I showed him two fingers and he nodded.

"I throw, duck and you shoot other." I whispered and didn't wait for his answer. He wasn't very good at silent communication, so I always had to tell him the plan. We will work on that in the future. I rose up again and checked the positions of the walkers. I aimed for the one closest to me and pulled my hand to my ear, breathing in. As I breathed out knife went flying across the hallway and it hit the geek in its left eye. I ducked quickly and motioned at Glenn to use my gun to kill the other one. It took him two bullets to put the walker down and I glared at him. We didn't have the luxury to waste bullets. The rest of our climb was uneventful, but I couldn't say this same about the apartments. The two on the top floor were empty. Literally, no geeks or people, but also nothing to take with us, I guess that whoever lived here had enough common sense to pack and leave.

We climbed down and I knocked on the first door and there were sounds almost instantly and then banging on the doors. Yes doors, growls were coming from both apartments. I stood to the side and motioned for Glenn to open the one on the left, my knives ready. He nodded and opened it quickly and instantly two bodies launched themselves at me. I threw a knife at the head of the first one and quickly moved to the right. I grabbed the other by its neck and stabbed it in the temple. I frowned and quickly wiped my hand on my pants, retrieving the other knife. 

We moved slowly into the apartment, weapons ready. The living room was empty so we went to check the bedrooms. From the layout of the other ones I knew there should be two bedrooms and a small bathroom at the end of the corridor. The first door was open, but I was still careful when stepping in. I checked behind the door and then pointed at Glenn as I opened the wardrobe. Empty. I wish I could say this same about the other room. As usual I went first and stopped dead in my tracks. 

There was a single bed in the middle of a small room, walls were painted pink and decorated in flowers and butterflies. The wardrobe and desk were made out of pinewood, full of colorful stickers. Behind me I could hear Glenn gag and he ran away back to the living room.

In the middle of the bed lied a walker, which once was a girl, maybe eight, nine years old? Her hands were handcuffed to the headboard and she had a blindfold on. Her legs were bound and tied to the bottom of a bed. I closed the doors quietly and went to the bathroom. There was another body there, luckily already dead, spread in the bathtub, dried blood splattered on the wall behind it. Shot in the head. What the fuck was this apartment? Who were those people and how could they get away with something like that. I clenched my fist and took a few deep breaths. It's not the first time I saw a scene like that, and the fact that it didn't bother me like it did Glenn, well that was just sad. That I was so used to human cruelty even before walkers came around. I opened the cabinets and stuffed what I thought was useful in my pack.

It took us probably around two hours to swipe through the apartments. We didn't speak, except a few commands and directions from me. I couldn't blame Glenn for being so quiet, I actually envied him for his innocence.

We found some food which wasn't expired yet, hygiene items, some condoms. We also grabbed a few clothes, though there wasn't a lot. Most of them were either too small or too big, according to our estimations.

But my best finding was secure at the bottom of my backpack. Two full wagons of cigarettes, enough for some time. I was planning on giving one to Daryl, that's how nice I can be. I also found awsome khaki, cargo jacket and aviator sunglasses. I looked kickass and with that attitude I strode into our temporary base.  
Glenn and I were the only one with proper loot. Rick and Shane didn't find anything except one can of tuna, and Daryl and T managed to get only like a mug worth amount of gas. Pathetic, of course I didn't say it at loud, don't have a death wish, yet.

This evening we ate in a little bit better moods, having full bellies makes a difference. After a long discussion we decided to only take the RV, Carols Cherokee and Daryl's motorbike. I didn't necessarily agree with the latter, it'd be so fucking loud, but apparently, it didn't eat lots of gas and at the moment that was more important. I think Daryl just wanted to look cool and like an even bigger badass than he is.

So here we were, finally leaving Atlanta with hopes that we'll find a chance for something better at Fort Benning.


	11. Chapter 11

  
**Day 50**

We traveled for the better part of the day, moved out early in the day, now the sun was high in the sky, making another day in Georgia a living hell. I sat on the couch in the RV, sharpening my knives, one after the other. It was quiet for the better part of the ride, but now I had to listen to Shane and Andrea as he taught her about cleaning a gun. It was unnerving, her rapid fascination with a firearm. Don't get me wrong, she had her handgun, since we first met, but she never even took it out. We once spoke about it and I knew it was a gift and that she actually didn't know how to shoot. So this change of behavior put me a little bit on edge. Was she interested because she wanted to keep herself safe? In which case I'd gladly teach her myself. But at the moment I felt like it was more because she was unhappy that Dale prevented her death at CDC, so her carrying a gun wasn't something I'd like to see.

Glenn was sitting at the front, on the passenger's side, map spread across his lap with Dale next to him driving. I tried to ignore conversations around me, duffel bag on my lap as I put two sets of knives back in its place and secured the third one in holders on my chest. I was just about to start cleaning and sharpening my machete when we started to slow down.

"Oh jeez." Dale commented, staring at something ahead. I stood up and leaned between two men and took in the view. Both sides of the highway were completely blocked, abandoned vehicles everywhere. Glenn started looking at the map, checking for alternative routes. Daryl circled back on his bike and stopped next to Dale's window, the roar of the engine from that machine so loud that I was surprised we weren't followed by the walkers.

"See a way through?" Dale asked him, receiving a quick nod, and Daryl took off, moving to turn back around to the front, to lead us through this maze.

"I don't like this." I commented quietly, strapping a machete to my belt and Shane hummed in agreement.

"Maybe we should just go back?" Glenn asked, "There is interstate bypass--"

"We can't spare the fuel." Dale cut him off, I didn't like the idea of trying to go forward, but he was right. We didn't have a lot of gas, and there was no guarantee that we'll find anymore anytime soon. Soon we got to the clear space, but the road in front of us was tight. Too tight, yeah sure, Daryl would fit on his bike, but not the RV. I sighed and at this same time smoke started coming from the radiator at the front of the vehicle, obstructing our view. A few loud noises later we came to a stop, Dale angrily barging out of his seat to stand next to the hood of the RV.

"I said it. Didn't I say it?" I reached for my binoculars and pulled them around my neck. I really wanted to check out this big delivery track we passed. It was tipped to the side, and I hoped I could find something there. Maybe check if the hose will fit the RV.

"There's a whole bunch of stuff we could find." Daryl was already ransacking trank of the closest car. T-Dog moved to the front as well looking through the windows.

"Syphon more fuel from these cars, for a start."

"Maybe some water?" Carol added.

"This is a graveyard." Lori's statement made us look at her.

"Yes, but we are in no position to feel sentimental about it." I said and patted her shoulder, moving to Rick.

"I'll go check out that track down there," I said pointing behind us. "If we lucky it has some nice cargo, or maybe the hose will fit."

He nodded at me, "Just be careful and holler if you need help."

"I'm always careful, officer." I put my sunglasses on and moved to the vehicle I choose.  
We didn't drive too far away from it, so I wasn't that much separated from the group. I approached the truck and went around to check if I can open the back shutter. It was locked, so I'd have to go back for my tools, or search glove compartment for keys. I strode to the front and pried open the hood, looking at the engine. I don't really know what I was looking for, but I watched Dale last time he was fixing the RV. So finding the hose shouldn't be that hard, right? After some pulling and unscrewing I picked something which I hoped was a radiator hose.

I moved back to the RV and easily found Dale and Glenn trying to fix it.

"I don't know if it'll fit, but I got that." I handled him the part and he looked at it and nodded.

"We can try." Oh thank God, so it was a hose. Imagine the embarrassment if it wouldn't even be the right part. I went inside and quickly fished my burglar tools out, putting them in the back pocket of my black jeans. I really need to find better clothes, black it's great cause you can't see blood stains that easily but the heat was even worse in those.

I ran back to the semi and started to climb inside the cab, I stood on the lower wheel and used the higher one to pull myself up. I hooked my right foot over one of the pipes and just moments later I was peering through the window. There was a body inside so I knocked, to see if it would move. It didn't but I still reached for a knife before opening the door. They gave away with loud squicking noise and I cringed at that.

Still sitting on top I looked around and froze, there were walkers approaching from the empty side of the highway. They had to follow us for a while, but nonetheless here they were. I turned to look towards the RV, cold sweat slowly slipping between my shoulders blades. I could see Dale on top with his rifle, but he wasn't looking at me. I waved my arms up and down, trying to catch his attention, but it was a lost cause.

"Dale!" I said, hopefully, loud enough to catch his attention. He twisted a little holding his hand over his eyes to see me better. I moved my hands up and down to show him to lay low and pointed behind me, hoping that he'll understand me. The walkers were nearly here and I had to hide, or they will circle around me. I dropped down into the cab of the truck and struggled for a moment with a belt on a dead guy. Yeah, luckily he was dead, the revolver still in his hand which I carefully pried from his cold fingers. When the seatbelt finally gave away I caught his body and pushed to the front, so he was standing in front of me, leaning over the dashboard, his head touching the front window.

I crouched behind him, as much as limited space allowed and froze, stopping my movements. Through the front window I could finally see the geeks, coming out from behind the truck and their smell hit my nose. Yeah, dude next to me didn't smell like daisies but, that's nothing comparing to dozens of walkers. I don't think I'll ever get used to that stink. I watched Dale drop flat on top of the RV and Rick running forward to warn the rest of the group.

My heart was beating so fast that for a second I thought I may have a heart attack. I prayed to all the powers in the universe to let us be fine and that none of the dead ones will find us. I could hear their growls all around me and I tensed every time one of them would bump into the truck. I could see Dale moving on his spot and reaching inside the RV through the small net window on the top.

I don't know how long I was sitting there, hiding behind the dead truck driver. It felt like hours of adrenaline pumping through my veins, cold sweat drenching my body in fear. But I don't think it was that long, probably fifteen minutes all together? It took me another few minutes after walkers disappeared from my view to move and start breathing normally again. I ran my hand down my face, wiping sweat from it and then went to search the body. Nothing useful, a wallet with twenty bucks inside, not that money mattered anymore. I put his gun in the back of my pants then moved him to the side to open the glove compartment. They were a few CDs inside, a map and documents. I sighed and looked up to the ignition, smirking at the view. I grabbed to keys and yanked them out, starting to climb back up on the seats.  
Once I stood on top of the truck I could see a commotion up ahead where the group stood. I got down and jogged towards them. Lori was holding Carol who was crying in her shoulders, so I approached Glenn, his face sunken.

"What happened?" I whispered. He looked at me and shook his head sadly.

"Sophia ran away, two geeks after her." My eyes widened in shock as he continued. "Rick went to get her, he should be back soon."

That's when I heard grunting and some banging behind me, I spun around, knife ready in my hand, but it was just Andrea. She was dragging a body of a walker out of the RV. I looked at Dale and he sent me a tired smile.

"She had a close call." I nodded as I watched a woman dump the geek on the side and walk towards us. Her clothes were dirty and in guts, blood smeared all over her face. Yeah, it seems like a very close call. I turned back to the woman who was crying and was about to try to calm her down when Daryl emerged from between the cars in front. T-Dog's hand on his shoulder and I could tell that black-skinned man wasn't in good condition. I gasped and ran to them, supporting his other side.

"What happened to him?"

"He cut his arm on some old, rusty piece of metal. It's bleedin' like a bitch, couldn't stop it." Daryl responded, he was sweating and was breathing heavily.

"Let's get him to the RV."  
For fuck sake, could we please get like a five-minute break? Just five fucking minutes.

"Ya sure this was the spot?" I looked down at Daryl who was looking around the shallow waters for any signs of Sophia.  
Rick came back, sweaty, hands covered in blood. He fought that the girl came back already, just like he told her, but our faces told him everything. Quickly he ordered for Shane, Glenn, Daryl and I to follow him to where he left her originally. Carol was hysterical and I knew we had to act fast. Not just for her sake but because chances of finding a scared kid, alone in the woods were getting lower every passing hour.  
I was standing above looking for her prints and trying not to snap at Glenn who was pacing nervously next to me.

"I left her right here," Rick confirmed. "I drew the walkers away off in that direction, up the creek."

"Without a paddle-- that seems where we've landed." I swear that sometimes I have no clue what that redneck is saying.

"She was gone by the time I got back here." Rick was explaining and he most definitely seemed like he felt guilty. "I figured she just took off and ran back to the group. I told her, go that way, and keep the sun on her left shoulder." I was crouching next to the spot he pointed and I looked at the ground for any tracks.

"Seems right, she came out this way." I confirmed to Daryl, who moved in that direction.

"Hey short round. Why don't ya step off to one side?" Daryl spoke to Glenn, voicing my own thoughts. "Ya mucking up the trail."

"Assuming she knows her left from the right." Shane was such a dick sometimes. I glared at him from my position and pointed at the ground.

"She came out here, we just need to follow her." The black-haired man shrugged his shoulder at my comment and didn't change his doubtful expression.

"Shane, she understood me fine."

"The kid's tired and scared, man." Shane continued talking and I sighed. It was unnecessary to say that. Of course, she was, but what we were to do? Just leave her in the woods, alone, lost? "She had her close call with two walkers. I'm kind of wondering how much of what you said stuck."

"Elena's right. We've got clear prints right here." Daryl leaned forward, still stuck in the creek, as he looked at what I found. "She did like you said-- headed back to the highway. Let's spread out."

"OK, let's go. She couldn't have gotten far." Shane moved to follow back to where we came from. I stood up and reached my hand out, to help Daryl out of the creek, doing this same for Rick moments later.

I was following the trail of broken twigs and muddy steps, Daryl on my right with others right behind us. We walked about halfway back to the highway, when her tracks turned in a different way. I crouched and looked around to see if there were signs of somebody else.

"She was doing just fine, until right here," Daryl said to the other men. "All she had to do was keep going. She veered off that way."

"Why would she do that?" Glenn asked.

"Maybe she saw something that spooked her, made her runoff." Shane said, and Daryl looked at me questioningly.

I shook my head, "No, there's just one set of footprints, no one else walked through here since her."

"So what do we do? All of us press on?" Shane asked looking directly at Rick. Oh, he just couldn't wait to get away from the woods.

"No. Better if you and Glenn get back up to the highway," Rick said and ran his hand over his curly hair.

"People are going to start panicking. Let them know we're on her trail, doing everything we can. But most of all, keep everybody calm."

Shane nodded at that, "I'll keep 'em busy scavenging cars. I'll think up a few other chores. Come on." Glenn quickly followed him and both shortly disappeared between the trees.

The ground was dry and the only reason we could see Sophia's footsteps so easily it was because at the beginning her shoes were wet. But with every step she took, that was changing and soon, we could only see broken twigs and disheveled leaves. I wasn't as skilled as Daryl that's for sure. I watched him crouch down to touch the ground and I breathed in deeply. The way his strong muscles bulged under sweaty skin with his every movement, veins visible on his forearm. I shook my head and stood up. Very bad time for that sort of shit Elena!

"You alright?" Rick's voice startled me and I jumped slightly holding a hand to my heart.

"Yeah, yeah I'm all good." Daryl looked in our direction, his eyes narrowed, trying to figure out what's wrong. "It's getting hard to track her."

"We lost the trail?"

"Nah, They're faint." Daryl commented and started to move forward again, "They ain't gone. She came through here."

"How can you tell?" Rick obviously couldn't see what we did. "I don't see anything-- dirt, grass."

"Ya want a lesson in tracking or do ya want to find that girl and get our ass off that interstate?" I snorted at Daryl's answer earning an angry glare from him.

"It's because there is a lot of leaves on the ground." I started explaining to Rick in a whisper as we followed Dixon. "So footprints themself aren't that visible. But in here," I pointed to grumbled mess in front of us, "Can you see how are they shuffled and pressed? We can tell it's a child because the area isn't big." Then I pointed to the tree next to us, "And here, these small branches are broken, they are too low for an adult to break them that way. It looks like a child, holding their hands up, to their face."  
Rick nodded and looked at me with a small smile and we moved quicker after Daryl.

We walked more, now Daryl taking a lead when we heard leaves rustling ahead of us. We crouched and I took my knife out ready to attack. Rick pointed in a direction it came from and started slowly moving, Daryl behind him, crossbow ready to shoot any threat. I took the other side so I was a few feet next to them. On the lower side of a forest, we finally saw a walker, and we started to surround it, Rick taking the lead, Daryl going to the right and me moving to the left. It was following a path, and I was the closest to it.

Rick whistled making it stop and slowly turning to him and in far I could see bowman readying his weapon. Na-ah mister, this one is mine. Not wasting any time I rose my knife to my ear and released it hitting my target at the back of its head. I rushed to the body and pressed my right foot on its back, holding it in place as I took back my weapon. I spun it in my hand a few times as the men approached me and I cocked my eyebrows at Daryl, smirking.

"Show off." Pff, obviously. Rick moved the walker to it's back and Daryl was yelling for Sophia. The sheriff took gloves out of his pocket and chacked both hands of a geek.

"What ya looking for?" Daryl asked him.

"Skin under the fingernails." Really? Are we gonna play apocalyptic CSI? Even if we gonna find something, there's no way to tell who it belonged to. Daryl leaned in, observing Rick's movement.

"He fed recently." Rick just shoved his gloved hand to the walker's mouth and I nearly gagged. That's not what I signed up for, please, oh please someone tell me they won't try to fucking do an autopsy on this dead guy. "There's flesh caught in its teeth."

"Yeah. What kind of flesh?" Daryl's question made me shiver, I could see the look on Rick's face and I knew at this moment that indeed we are gonna cut this walker open. On one hand even an idea was disgusting, on the other it would be interesting to see what the infection does with human organs, once they turn. And most important it would calm us down to know if it was human flesh or not. Rick cut open geek's shirt and was about to sink his knife in when Daryl stopped him.

"Here. I'll do it." He stood over the walker and bend down, taking his hunting knife out. "How many kills ya skinned and gutted now, anyway?"

"I did fucking plenty and you don't see me queuing to do that." I said and waved around the body, showing my displeasure. The men looked at me and then shared a look with each other.

"Pussy." Daryl shoved a knife down the geek's chest to break through the ribs first.

"Yeah, I got one, wanna see?" Alright, I'll admit that was a silly comment considering where we were, pushing a bit too much but I was tired, hungry, thirsty and disgusted all at once. And that combination makes my brain stop filter and my mouth just run off on its own. Rick coughed but I think he tried to hide a laugh or maybe he tried to stop horrible stench getting to him. And Daryl yanked his knife out staring at me with wide eyes like a startled animal. I rose my arms and sighed.

"I'm sorry Dixon, all this is really stressing me and that's my way of defusing. I'll keep watch until you're done with your new friend." I walked away quickly and watched the trees for any threats while they continued.

"Here comes the bad part," Daryl said and I moved slowly to peek above his shoulder at what he's doing. He stuck his gloved hands inside the walker and started looking for the stomach. Yeah it was worse than I imagined, all insides were dark colors of grey, mixed in with old, brown blood. Everything was sort of mushy, mixed together to the point that I couldn't tell where were intestines. "Yeah. Hoss had a big meal not long ago. I feel it in there." Honestly, how could he not be bothered by all of this? At this moment his attractiveness went slightly down. As I was frowning he reached in more and finally took out the stomach and put it on the ground next to Rick.

"I got this." The sheriff said and took his own knife out and cut through the sack of a gut bag. He stirred his knife around and all it was in there was another black goo which made my frown deepen. Daryl used his own knife to pick something out and I squinted my eyes to see it better and leaned forward.

"This gross bastard had himself a woodchuck for lunch." He said and then stood up so quickly that I couldn't move back, he bumped into me shoving his elbow in my forehead, making me fall on my ass.

"At least we know." Rick commented.

"Yeah, but let's not do it again guys." I added rubbing my head. Daryl stood above me and stretched his arm to help me stand up. His dirty, full of walker guts arm and hand still covered in dirty gloves. I shook my head frantically.

"Sorry big guy, but at the moment I don't fancy touching any part of you." He huffed and started moving once again with Rick and I slowly following.

Sun was slowly hiding behind the horizon when we reached the highway. The group noticed us and rushed to the railing, but their faces went slack after seeing that we didn't bring Sophia back. Carol was first to speak, barely holding it together.

"You didn't find her?"

"Her trail went cold." Rick started, he was breathing heavily and there was a sad look on his face. "We'll pick it up again first light."

"You can't leave my daughter out there on her own, to spend the night alone in the woods."

"Out in the dark's no good." I never heard Daryl speak so softly to anyone in the group. I looked at him and felt warmth spreading inside me, he could sympathize with others it seems. "We'd just be tripping over ourselves. More people will get lost"

"She's twelve. She can't be out there on her own. You didn't find anything?" Carol's voice was laced with tears and desperation. I couldn't even imagine how she felt at this moment and I looked down, at my boots.

"I know this is hard," Rick tried to calm her down. "But I'm asking you not to panic. We know she was out there."

"And we tracked her for a while." Daryl added. And so did I.

"We know which direction she was going."

"We have to make this an organized effort. Daryl knows the woods better than anybody." Rick continued and explain the plan to the rest of the group. "I've asked him to oversee this."

But Carol stopped listening, instead, she was looking at something else, "Is that-- is that blood?" She was talking about Daryl's trousers. Fuck we hoped not to mention this at all. Rick, Daryl and I looked at each other before I said.

"We spotted a walker, next to her trail. We took it down."

"A walker, of God." Carol gasped and covered her mouth with hands, to stop her sobs.

"There was no sign it was ever near Sophia." Rick quickly added.

"How can you know." That came from Andrea, she stood behind Carol and I could see that she had time to change her bloody clothes. We looked at each other again and I sighed but it was Daryl who answered in his gruff manner.

"We cut the son of a bitch open. Made sure."

Carol sat down on a railing and was breathing quickly, Lori just next to her stroking her back slowly, in a reassuring manner. "How could you just leave her out there, to begin with?" Carol asked Rick, not even hiding her anger. "How could you just leave her?"

"Those two walkers were on us." He crouched down in front of her and talked in a calm, soft voice. "I-- I had to draw them off. It was her best chance."

"Sounds like he didn't have a chance, Carol." Shane came and stood next to the sheriff trying to help.

"How was she supposed to find her way back on her own? She's just a child." Now she wasn't even hiding her tears, which quickly fell down her cheeks.

"It was my only option--" Rick tried to justify what happened. I understood him, he only had a gun and it was too dangerous to use, two walkers behind them, and scared little girl, who probably would be more in the way than anything. "The only choice I could make."

"I'm sure nobody doubts that." Shane patted Rick's shoulder as he said that.

"My little girl got left in the woods." I couldn't take it any longer. I moved over the railing and went past a few people, stopping in front of Dale.

"I'm going to check out that truck, before it's completely dark." I whispered and he nodded, putting his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it before I moved forward.

I grabbed a flashlight out of my bag and walked to the semi. After checking around for any signs of walkers around me I fished the keys out of the pocket. I knocked on a shatter first, making sure that there wasn't anyone inside before I pushed the key into the lock. I moved the door up, or in this situation, to the side and put both my arms up, one holding a flashlight, the other a machete. There were no movements inside, but also nothing else worth taking. The track was empty, just strap belts now lying on the side and I felt like all the shit that happened in the last few days finally hit me.

I sat down inside, legs hanging out of the vehicle and took out a cigarette, liting it up. I breathed in deeply and put my head down in my hands after a big cloud of smoke escaped my lips. First, fucking CDC and losing Jacqui, then vatos, gunned down by some pricks and now Sophia, missing in the woods. It's really like we couldn't catch a break. Is this how our lives will look like now?

"Ya got one for me?" There was a weight shift and I could feel the heat radiating out the man who sat down next to me. I stretched my hand and passed him a package. We sat down in quiet for a little while, until we finished our cigarettes and he finally looked at me.

"Ya alright?"

"Yeah." I mustered a small smile. "How about you?"

"Gotta be." I snorted a little and nodded because it made sense.

"I like it, is it gonna be like a new catchphrase or something?"

"Pff, knowing ya it'll." He was smirking, this tine little lift of his lips, making wrinkles show around his eyes.

"Oh, so you know me so well?" I cocked my head and he just hummed as a response. "So what's your plan for tomorrow, Dixon?"

He touched his scruffy chin and considered a question before answering. "The creek, that's her landmark, and pushing in the direction she was going."

"Sounds good. Maybe we can find a cabin or something. If she's not there then maybe we'll find a map of the area. We could mark what we covered already, calculate how far she could go." I was already thinking about it, doing maths in my head. Daryl nodded at that, agreeing with me.

"So ya not giving up?" I looked at him with confusion.

"Why would I?"

"Shane got that look on his face. Like we ain't gonna find her and we should just move on."

I sighed and thought about my next words. "Shane is self-centered. He wants to get to Fort Benning and I don't think he cares who else will make it." I gave him a knowing look, "Except Lori and Carl."

Yeah we had a misfortune of running into those two once. We were at the quarry for maybe a month at that point and Daryl and I were just coming back from a hunt, when we heard noises somewhere ahead. We made sure to stay quiet in case it was walkers we had to take care of, but it was Shane and Lori, hitting it like rabbits. Let's just say, that Daryl was very red all way to the camp and he didn't look at me for the next three days. I guess it was a bit like watching porn together.

"Don't remind me, El." I laughed and we went quiet again, just enjoying each other's company until it was time to get some shut-eye.


	12. Chapter 12

**Day 51**

Morning came way too quickly, I don't think I slept for longer than three hours. Mare idea of Sophia being lost somewhere out there, all by herself, wouldn't leave my mind all night. Back in the old days, the search for the child wouldn't finish after sundown. Amber alerts would be issued, and press conferences, media appeals for volunteers and search would go on even during the night. But this, right here, right now, was a completely different world. We didn't know the area, and we didn't have enough manpower. Oh, and a small matter of fucking dead, flesh-eating corpses, waiting for you behind a corner.

I got up from my makeshift bed at the back of the semi, I searched the day before, and checked my watch. It was still early, the sun was just rising up, but I wouldn't be able to get any more sleep. I stood up and quickly collected my things and strapped all my weapons in the right places. Slowly opening the shutter, I slipped out and made sure that there aren't any walkers around us. Moving to the RV, I undid my braid and run fingers through my hair. Rick was the one sitting on the rooftop, keeping a watch, rifle in hand, and his hat on. He was looking at me already, probably spotted me as soon I left the truck.

"I'm going quickly up there." I half-whispered, making sure not to wake anyone and pointed in the direction of a tree line.

"Be careful." At that, I just patted my machete. Putting down my gear next to the vehicle door's, I took out some wet wipes I had left from my bag and made my way to the edge of a forest. I'm not sure I'll ever get used to that. Just doing that in the woods. I shivered at the thought of what I'll do when wipes and tissues finish. I walked only a few feet from the tree line and looked around, making sure there is no immediate danger.

I was nearly finished when I heard twigs breaking somewhere on my left. Quicker than you could say _'walker,'_ I wiped and pulled my trousers up, not bothering with the zip, and took my machete out ready for whatever was coming at me. Seconds later, Daryl came from around the tree, crossbow on his shoulder, and he was doing up his belt.

"Fucking hell Dixon!" He spun in his spot, and a grip on his weapon tightened before he realized it's just me. Then he looked at me properly and blushed, turning his head away from me. I fixed my pants and put down the blade. "Can't I even go to do a pee without you scaring the shit out of me?"

"I didn't follow ya, woman. I was here first." I just gave him the finger and started moving back to the cars.

"What you doing up so early anyway?" I asked him, I knew he was following me.

"Tryin' to catch some meat before we search for the girl." I glanced in his direction and finally noticed two small rabbits attached to his side. I nodded at that.

"You want help with those?" Daryl just hummed at that. We both finally reached the RV and started skinning the animals, it wasn't a lot, but better than anything. Soon people started waking up, and Glenn went to gather some wood so we could quickly cook the meat.

"Everybody takes a weapon." Rick said. All of us already eaten, and we were getting ready to start our search. He used the hood of a car to show us the blunt weapons they found yesterday. Actually, I think it was Carl who got them, it was a set made out of steel, all stored in a beautiful black leather pouch. I sort of want it all for myself.

"These aren't the kind of weapons we need." Andrea speaks again.

"Really? And what kind of weapons would you like?" I asked her, cocking my eyebrows.

"Well, what about the guns?"

"We've been over that," Shane said. "Elena, Daryl, Rick, and I are carrying. We can't have people popping off rounds every time the tree rustles."

"It's not the trees I'm worried about."

"Andrea, I get it. You want to feel safe." I said in a warmer voice, trying to force my kinder side out. "But you don't have training. And if you'd shoot because you hear something in the woods, who's to tell that the herd won't come back?"

"I wouldn't just shoot like that." She said and crossed her arms, I went closer to her, locking our eyes.

"You would because you don't have training. You don't know when it's a good or bad time to use it. So you'd be scared and then you'd shoot, potentially bringing walkers and killing all of us. Or even shooting one of us. We find Sophia, and I'll train you myself until then, deal with it." She was looking at me with anger, nose flaring, and then she turned around and started packing her bag.

"The idea is to take the creek up above five miles," Daryl started saying after a moment of silence. "Turn around and come back down the other side." I nudged Glenn, who was watching his new hatchet instead of listening to the hunter. "Chances are she'll be by the creek. It's her only landmark."

"Keep your eyes open, look for pieces of cloths, marks on the trees or ground, she could leave us some signs to follow her." I added it wasn't my first search, even if it was first with walkers around.

"Stay quiet, stay sharp." It was Rick's turn to instruct. "Keep space between you, but always stay within sight of each other."

"Everybody assemble your packs." Shane said, but I was already in the RV doing precisely that. I grabbed one of the empty backpacks Carol and Lori found in one of the cars and moved my stuff in there. I grabbed two bottles of water and a few granola bars I still had hidden. I made sure that my weapons are strapped securely to my body and put quiver over the backpack, holding onto a bow.

We finally moved out, trekking through the forest, I had an arrow ready in my right hand in case something would come at us. But so far we were marching for a good hour, and we didn't find anything. We already passed the place where we lost Sophia's trail, so I was looking around for any signs that she walked through here.

Daryl slowed down and pointed at something up ahead. Hidden behind one of the trees sat a tent, I looked around but didn't see any people.

"She could be in there." Shane said.

"There could be a whole bunch of things in there." Daryl replied and looked at me, pointing to the right. We started moving slowly, and I took off to the right, so we had both sides covered. Rick and Shane walked after us, but when we got closer, Daryl showed them to stop. I circled the area and quietly checked behind the tent as he approached the entrance. 

His crossbow lay on the ground, and he was holding his knife, trying to peek inside. I did this same and switched to my throwing knife. I came to his side shaking my head to show him that there was nothing there. Then I pointed at Carol, and he nodded, shrugging his shoulders at Rick to show that we can't see. I caught Rick's gaze and nodded towards Carol, and he waved her over, to come closer to where we were.

"Carol!" She jogged to him, scared and holding a hand over her mouth in anticipation. "Call out softly. If she's in there, yours is the first voice she should hear."

She swallowed and then called out gently, "Sophia, sweetie? Are you in there?" Daryl and I were observing the tent, waiting for any movement from the inside. "Sophia, it's Mommy. Sophia, we're all here, baby."  
There was no response, no movement, no shuffling, just one big nothing. 

I nodded at Daryl, and he started to unzip the flap, Rick and Shane coming closer, guns ready. I rose my knife and waited for the hunter to open the entrance. When he did, the smell hit us first, decomposition, clearly in an advanced stage, the men coughed, and I quickly moved inside the tent with Daryl right behind me. The body was disgusting, ashen skin and worms eating at its face. I looked around for any signs of a girl, but I think she would probably get scared more than anything. She wasn't here, not before, and surely not now.

"Daryl Elena?!" I could hear Carol calling out to us, impatience in her voice. I can't even imagine how she felt at that moment, just waiting for us to tell her something about her daughter. From the corner of my eye, I could see Daryl grab the revolver out of the dead man's hand and tuck it in his pants. I got out, and he followed finally saying,

"Ain't her."

"What's in there?" Andrea asked, and I answered.

"Just some guy."

"Did what Jenner said. Opted out." Daryl added and picked up his crossbow, and I took my bow from Shane. "Ain't that what he called it?"

Before we could decide where to go next or say anything else, the sound of bells started echoing around the woods. We all looked at each other and tried to pinpoint where it's coming from. Rick pointed in the direction, and we all ran after him

"What direction?" Shane asked as we stumbled across a small clearing.

"I think that way, I'm pretty sure." Rick answered.

"It's hard to tell around here."

"If we hear them, then maybe Sophia does too." Carol said hopefully

"If someone's ringing those bells, they may be calling others." Glenn replied, pointing out a different possibility.

"Or signaling that they found her." Andrea added.

"She could be ringing them herself." Rick said and was pushing forward.

"It doesn't matter who rings it, let's just find it and see if Sophia is there." I moved to the front, following the sound. We didn't have time to think about what's the reasons are. We needed to act before bells stop, and we'll lose the location.

After another few minutes, I finally noticed the small stone graves up ahead, the edge of a graveyard, and I ran faster, Rick just slightly in front of me as he saw what I did.

"El!"

"Rick!" Daryl and Shane were yelling behind us, but we were already halfway, nearing on a church. "It has no steeple, it can't be that one!"

Rick, Shane, Daryl, and I stood by the main door, weapons ready, Rick silently telling us to be quiet while he reached and opened the door. Inside there were three walkers just sitting on the benches and facing the altar. Well, that's not fucking creepy at all. They slowly turned around in their places, facing the noise we created. Rick and Shane put their guns down, and while Lori gave Rick her machete, Shane took out his own knife. Daryl turned around to me, and we swapped, I gave him my own blade, and he trusted me with his crossbow. I hold it carefully and somehow gently and looked at it properly, seeing it up close for the first time. It was indeed a beautiful piece and well-taken care off as well. The men already dispatched the walkers and were now yelling for Sophia.

"Yo, JC, ya taking requests?" I had to cover my mouth and turn around because I found it funny as fuck, but I knew it was highly inappropriate. I'm not a very religious person, but I knew Carol is, and the last thing she needs now is me giggling in the house of God. I decided to step outside, see if the girl could be somewhere around when the bells started ringing again. 

Before I could react, Glenn was already running, and Daryl passed me, nearly knocking me to the ground. We all followed them and ran around the corner, just to see a speaker just below the roof, connected to the box, which Glenn was now ripping open, stopping the noise.

"A timer-- it's on a timer." Daryl was out of breath, waving around my machete, so I went up to him and handed him his bow back, taking the blade.

"I'm going to go back in for a bit." Carol said, sadness clear on her face, and my heart dropped. How could Sophia disappear like that, without any trace? Why didn't we find anything yet? I moved forward and walked the perimeter, at the front of the church needing to be alone just for a few short moments. I found one walker strolling in this direction, and my arrow was notched on the bow in seconds. I aimed and released it, hitting the target right between the eyes.

After a while, I heard Glenn calling my name, so I walked back to the group. They all stood by the steps, ready to search for Sophia again. Just as I came around, Shane cleared his throat and started telling us the plan.

"Y'all got to follow the creek bed back. OK? Daryl, Elena, you're in charge. Me and Rick, we're just gonna hang back." I didn't like the idea of splitting us up, but I also understood that Sophia could hear those bells, and she could be coming here. "Search this area another hour or so-- just be thorough."

"Splitting us up. You sure?" Daryl asked them, not liking the idea at all. I turned to him and answered before men could.

"If Sophia heard the bells, she would be coming, someone needs to stay. Make sure." At that, he nodded and bit his bottom lip, sign that he still disagreed.

"Yeah. We'll catch up to you." Shane replied, and Rick nodded.

"I want to stay, too." Carl said firmly, and I just furrowed my eyebrows. This kid was resilient, first arguing to come with us at all and now sticking up and trying to wait and see if she would come. "I'm her friend."

Shane and Rick looked at each other, and Lori came around the boy and ruffled his hair. "Just be careful, OK?"

"I will." She looked at him and then hugged him tightly.

"When did you start growing up?"

I took a water bottle out of my pack to have a quick drink before we go. 

"Hey, Dixon." I called out to him once I finished, he turned around, and I chucked a bottle at him. He didn't have any gear with him except his weapons, and it was fucking hot today. He needed to stay hydrated, no matter how tough he was. He caught it quickly and took a few big gulps out of it. In the meantime, I crossed the distance between us and smirked at him. It was a magnificent view, the way his Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed, sweat slowly dripping down his shirt and, of course, how prominent his biceps was when he held up a drink. He looked down at me when he finished and handled my bottle back.

"Stop." He said in his usual gruff voice. Now I was fully smiling.

"You know-- it's a second time we drank from this same bottle--"

"El! Don't!" He pointed the finger at me, but I just swatted it away.

"I'm just saying, Big Boy." I winked at him and turned back to others. "Come on, guys, we're losing light!"

"Here, take this." Rick said before we moved, and stretched his arm, trying to give Lori his Colt. "Remember how to use it?"

"I'm not taking your gun and leaving you unarmed." She responded, Daryl brushed past me, and provided a solution.

"Here. I've got a spare. Take it." He gave her the gun he found in the tent. I smiled at that view, knowing that even a week ago, that wouldn't happen. In these few days, Daryl actually started to trust these people and treat them so much better than when we were at the quarry. However sad it sounds, he was better off without Merle. I missed older Dixon, our banter and laughs, but he wasn't a good influence on Daryl, putting him always in Merle's shadow.

In the corner of my eye, I could see Andrea roll her eyes, obviously not happy that Lori gets to have a gun. I swear that blonde woman wasn't such a bitch back in Atlanta.

We couldn't be walking for longer than twenty minutes, just approaching the creek when Carol stopped and sat down on one of the fallen trees.

"So this is it-- it's the whole plan?"

"I guess the plan is to whittle us down into smaller and smaller groups." Daryl commented, leaning his back on the tree.

"No. The plan is to find Sophia." I said, looking at all of the sternly. Can we just focus on a task and stop whining and complaining?

"Carrying knives and pointy sticks." Apparently, we can't. I sighed and licked my dry lips. Andrea really needs to get over herself. She looked at Lori and added mockingly, "I see you have a gun."

"Why, you want it?" Lori looked up from her pack, a stern look on her face. "Here. Take it." Then she grabbed the gun and shoved it in Andrea's hand. I crossed my arms and cocked my head at the scene in front of me.

"I'm sick of the looks you're giving me. All of you." Lori continued as she crouched down by her bag and took out a water bottle. Now that's unfair, I'm not giving any looks to anybody unless we talking about Dixon.

"Honey, I can't imagine what you're going through, and I'd do anything to stop it." Lori directed those words at Carol. "But you've gotta stop blaming Rick. It is in your face every time you look at him. And when Sophia ran, he didn't hesitate, did he? Not for a second."

Now she was looking around at our faces as she went on. "I don't know if anyone of us would've gone after her the way he did or made the hard decisions that he had to make. Or that anybody could have done it any differently. Anybody?" I'd like to think that I'd run after Sophia, but in reality, you don't know until it happens. Rick did a brave and amazing thing, I couldn't argue with that, and given the circumstances he was in, he couldn't handle it differently. Not without risking all of our lives. I held Lori's gaze and twitched my lips a little, trying to show her my support. Both Carol and Andrea had to hear it, and I was really impressed by what Lori said.

"You all look at him and then you blame him when he's not perfect. If you think you can do this without him, go right ahead. Nobody is stopping you." Go Lori, though I disagree with _'you all'_ part, I don't look at him with blame, because he was not to blame. Sophia got scared, he tried to save her, she ran away. I'm not saying it's girl's fault. She's just twelve. What I'm saying is that shit happens, and sometimes there is nothing we can do about it.

Andrea stepped towards Lori and handed her the gun, looking ashamed. "We should keep moving."  
I started on first, and shortly Lori was walking next to me, leading the group together. I bumped her with my elbow and she looked at me.

"If we ever get to vote who leads the group, then screw Shane, Rick, or me. I'll vote you, cause lady you know exactly what needs to be said." She replied with a soft chuckle and a shove to my shoulder.

I was biting my cheek and trying to calm down my thoughts, and to keep my face blank, not to show my concerns to others.

"Are you still worrying about it?" I heard Andrea say and stopped to see that Lori was facing in the direction gunshots came from about an hour ago. We rounded the creek, and now we started heading back to the interstate.

"That was a gunshot," Lori answered, not turning away.

"We all heard it." I shot Daryl a look, but he just shrugged his shoulders, not really bothered.

"Why one? Why just one gunshot?" She finally looked back at us.

"Maybe they took down a walker?" I rolled my eyes at that. Really Dixon? Is this is how you try to calm down worried women? We gotta work on that.

"Please don't patronize me. You know Rick wouldn't risk a gunshot to put down one walker." Daryl looked away, not knowing what to say at that "Or Shane. They'd do it quietly."

"Lori," I walked to her and put my hand on hers, "I know you're worried, we are too. But we can't split up, not now. We need to give them time to catch up to us."

"And if they won't?"

"Then I'll go look for them, but they--" I pointed at the rest of the group. "They need to go back to the cars. It starts getting dark. We need to see how T's doing and see if Sophia came back."

"But, shouldn't they've caught up with us by now?" Carol asked, and I licked my lips.

"El's right. We can't run around these woods, chasing echoes." Daryl finally said, and Andrea added,

"I'm sure they'll hook up with us back at the RV."

Lori looked behind her one more time and then started to move again, but before we could go anywhere, Andrea spoke again, this time to Carol.

"I'm sorry for what you're going through." It seems like Lori's speech really stirred something inside her. She was nice since that monologue. "I know how you feel."

Carol shrugged her shoulders and smiled gently at the blonde woman. "I suppose you do. Thank you." Carol's face quickly changed, and her voice withered. "The thought of her. Out here by herself. It's the not knowing that's killing me. I just keep hoping and praying she doesn't wind up like Amy."

Andrea looked like someone smacked her in the face, and she took a step back. I feel like we all just froze at that sentence, Carol put a hand to hand mouth and quickly started to apologize.

"Oh, God. That's the worst thing I've ever said."

Andrea licked her lips and shook her head, but I could tell that it affected her greatly. "We're all hoping and praying with you for what it's worth."

"I tell you what it's worth." I didn't even notice Daryl move towards the two women. "Not a damn thing."  
Well, he's a fucking charmer, that one. What do I see in him again? But he wasn't done, no.

"It's a waste of time all this hoping and praying. We're gonna locate that little girl. She's gonna be just fine." Oh, yeah, I remember now, that's why he's so attractive, besides the body, of course. He's so fucking honest and confident in his tracking abilities. "Am I the only one zen around here? Good Lord." At that, I snorted, and Lori and I shared a smile.

We were maybe a mile away from the highway, and the sun was getting lower and lower, we had perhaps an hour of daylight left. We've been walking all day, and I was starting to feel it. I was really hoping now that the guys will catch up to us because I was so not looking forward to going out there and look for them. I'll do it if it's necessary, Lori wouldn't be able to sleep without knowing and frankly neither would I. But the thought of looking for them in the dark was indeed frightening.

"How much farther?" Andrea's voice pulled me out of my thoughts, but it was Daryl who answered her.

"Not much. Maybe a hundred yards as the crow flies."

"Too bad we're not crows." I shook my head amused, honestly were does he takes these sayings from? Is it a southern thing? Now, it's true that I was in Georgia when it all happened, but I'm more of a city girl. I got the house in Palmetto after my parents died, and they moved down there when I was already an FBI agent. Before that, we lived in Chicago, and I relocated to DC when I started my studies. So sometimes Dixon's sayings didn't make sense at all.

Screamed echoed somewhere from the right, and we all turned there, starting to run in that direction. Daryl first with me just behind him. I tried to get a shot, but Andrea was moving too much. I was afraid of hitting her instead of a walker who attacked her. Then, out of nowhere sounds of hoofs came, and I could see a brown-haired young woman ride on a horse. She trotted towards Andrea and swang a baseball bat at the walker's head, putting it to the ground. We all stopped next to Andrea, and the cowboy girl turned around, finally stopping in front of us.

"Lori? Lori Grimes?" She looked around to see which one of us was the person she was looking for.

"I'm Lori."

"Rick sent me." I furrowed my brows, and glanced at a woman carefully, trying to spot any lies. "You gotta come now."

"What?" Lori asked, not sure what she's hearing.

"There's been an accident. Carl's been shot." Lori looked at her, shocked, hell we all did. What does she mean he was fucking shot? "He's still alive, but you gotta come now. Rick needs you, just come." Lori shrugged off her backpack and dropped it to the floor.

"Whoa, whoa!" Daryl was against it, but I put my hand out, stopping him. I looked at a strange woman and asked her,

"Where can we find you?"

"Rick said you had others on the highway? That big traffic snarl?" Glenn was the one to answer, making some sort of noise. He stood still, mouth open, and he was just staring at this woman like she was the world's most precious thing. Really Glenn? Terrible timing.

"Backtrack to Fairburn Road. Two miles down is our farm. Name's Green." And with that both, she and Lori were gone, speeding off on a horse.

"Why did ya stop me?" Daryl grabbed my arm hard and spun me towards him. That will definitely leave a mark.

"Because she wasn't lying." I looked at him with a stern expression and slowly pried his fingers off, adding through gritted teeth. "Touch me like that again, Daryl Dixon, and I'll break all your fingers." Not waiting for his answer, I started walking back to the interstate.


	13. Chapter 13

**Day 52**

The five of us stayed behind at the highway for another night. I explained everything to Dale, and then together as a group, we decided to stay and wait in case Sophia came back. Glenn was sent to take T-Dog to the farm. The cut on T's arm was getting worse, and it needed proper cleaning and stitching. But we couldn't stay here forever, so Daryl decided that in the morning we would put up some signs for Sophia, to wait for us and we would check it every day. I had this uncomfortable feeling in my gut. It was nearly forty-eight hours since she disappeared and we didn't find any traces of her. I remembered cold cases like that when the trail went cold, and there was nothing police force could do.

Daryl didn't speak to me, and neither did I to him. He crossed a particular line, and I wasn't too happy about it.

It was morning, and Carol was using some paint we found to write a message for her daughter on one of the cars. I spill some of the liquid into a mug I found. And now I was doing this same, a few cars over.

We packed all the supplies we scavenged into the RV and vehicles, and then took off. Daryl upfront on his bike, Andrea and I following him in a car Shane found and fixed. Carol behind in her Cherokee and Dale steering his RV.

"You don't like me very much, do you?" Andrea asked me after a few minutes of silence, so I looked at her, taking my eyes off the road for a second. Is that why she insisted on going with me? I sighed and replied.

"It's not that. I like you, and I think you're a strong person." I started trying to find a way to say what I needed, most politely. "But, I think that Amy's death hit you hard."

"Don't bring her to it!" She tensed, but I was not going to stop. She needed to hear me out.

"When I was a newbie, fresh out of the academy, my parents were murdered. I was twenty-six." Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her glancing at me.

"Did you find out who did it?" Her voice was softer. Damn it, it's not supposed to be about me.

"Yeah," I nodded and took a few shaky breaths. "Yeah, I did. I killed the bastard, but not without getting hurt." Absently I run my hand over my belly, where scars were hidden under a shirt.

"It made me reckless." I continued, "Pure, blindsiding need for revenge. It made me stupid, and I paid the price. I was thinking only about myself and killing the monster who killed my family. I got hurt, and one other agent was killed."

There was a silence between us now, as Andrea was thinking about what I said.

"It's not that I don't like you, Andrea. But I think that Amy's death makes you reckless." I was getting to the point. "You're rude and selfish. And you gotta keep your attitude in check. And trust me, I know it's easier said than done. But don't make these same mistakes I did."

Andrea swallowed hard and looked out of the window before she spoke again. Changing the subject altogether.

"So I walked with Daryl last night. Looking a bit more for Sophia."

"Alright." What's your point, woman?

"He told me the story, how he got lost in the woods, as a kid. Wanna hear?"

When we arrived at the farm, I was in good spirits. I just couldn't wait until I can tease Daryl. Few people were standing in front of the house, five strangers, Glenn and T-Dog, who looked so much better already. Behind them I could see Shane with new clothes on and head fully shaven. Interesting look change. A few moments later, when we finally got out of the vehicles, Rick and Lori came out of the house. They both looked tired, but not devastated, that had to mean that boy's alright.

"How is he?" It was Dale who asked that hard question. Both Grimes' smiled gently, and Lori answered.

"He'll pull through. Thanks to Hershel and his people and-"

"And Shane." Rick added. I looked at who I assumed was Hershel and his family. They looked like friendly people. But also wary of us, that amount of strangers, in the current word, I couldn't blame them. "We'd lost Carl if not for him." I directed my eyes at the man they were speaking about, and he looked incredibly uncomfortable. That was actually weird for him. He didn't have a typical narcissistic personality. But he usually would look slightly more proud of himself.

Dale moved to embrace Rick, and Carol did this same to Lori. Andrea moved to hug T-Dog, and I patted Glenn on his shoulder.

"How's cowboy girl?" I asked him quietly. He stilled beside me, and his eyes went wide.

"What you- what you mean?" I just wiggled my eyebrows and moved to hug T, making sure that he's alright.

"How'd it happen?" Dale asked, and Rick just shook his head.

"Hunting accident. That's all. Just a stupid accident."

"Blessed be God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." Hershel was reading out of his bible while all of us stood around a pile of rocks. Empty grave, for Otis. Man who shot Carl, but a man who also died while trying to save his life. We all owned him even if we didn't know him. His family was adding small rocks to the pile, a sign of respect, and last goodbye. "Praise be to Him for the gift of our brother Otis. For his span of years. For his abundance of character."

A middle-aged lady, Patricia, who I learned was Otis' wife, was crying silently. Next to her, a young blonde girl was holding to her hand as Hershel continued. "Otis, who gave his life to save a child. Now more than ever, our most precious asset. We thank you, God, for the peace he enjoys in your embrace."

I was watching Shane, who's face was getting darker, and he went deeper and deeper into his thoughts. He looked like he didn't want to be here, weird considering that the dead man saved his life too.

"He died as he lived. In grace. Shane, will you speak for Otis?" The last part of Hershel's speech was directed to the officer, and he looked at him absently.

"I'm not good at it. I'm sorry." His voice was gruff and a bit hostile. I side glanced at Dale, and he was stroking his chin. Something he always did when he was thinking.

"You were the last one with him." Patricia's voice was full of grief and teary. "You shared his final moments. Please. I need to hear. I need to know his death had meaning."

She was looking at him with such hope. Shane looked away and around, licking his lips before he spoke again.

"We were about done. I almost shot at him, but we were down to pistols by then. I was limping." I was watching Shane's movements like a hawk, trying to relax my face muscles, to keep it blank. "It was bad. Ankle all swollen up." He was nervous, his eyes never staying in one spot, but I put it at nervousness until he spoke again.

"'We got to save the boy.' See that's what he said." He was looking to his right and slightly, almost invisibly shaking his head. "He gave me his backpack. He shoved me ahead. Run, he said."

He was lying out of his teeth, but why? "He said I- 'll take the rear. I'll cover you. And when I looked back-"

Shane looked directly at Patricia and again licked his lips. He moved to pick up another small rock as he continued. "If not for Otis, I'd never made it out alive. He saved us both. If any death ever had meaning, it was his." I watched him as he put a stone on a grave, and then I glanced at Dale. He was already looking at me, and I knew that he suspected as well, that we were just fed a big, fat lie.

After his speech, we all gave our respects, and then I moved to speak with the sheriff.

"Rick. It's still early, we should plan a search." I told him as he stood next to Hershel, who suddenly got interested in what I'm talking about.

"Who you looking for?"

"I forgot to tell them, with Carl and all-" Rick said, running a hand over his curly hair.

"It's OK, we understand." I calmed him down and then looked at the older man. "We're looking for Sophia, Carol's daughter. We lost her in the woods and looked for her since. That's why we were in the forest yesterday."

He nodded to himself and told us to follow him. He spoke to a cowboy girl, who I learned was Maggie, and asked her to bring some maps from his study, and I asked her for a bunch of color pens as well. While Rick and Hershel gattered others, I run into the RV to grab some pieces of fabric I saw in there before. I came back when Maggie was putting a map on the hood of one of the cars.

"County survey map. Shows terrain and elevation."

"That's perfect, Maggie," I said and pushed past Rick and grabbed markers from her. "Show me where we are, please." She pointed out the location of the farm and then interstate, so I marked them with black dots.

"This is the area we already searched." I also used a black pen to circle that part of the woods, and the church we found yesterday.

"We can finally get this thing organized," Rick added, and I nodded. "We'll grid the whole area. Start searching in teams."

"That's why I got this." I pointed at pens and pieces of fabric. "Something we did when we were looking for missing people. You mark the trees every few hundred yards, so others don't overlap your area. And then mark the map." The men nodded at me, and Hershel looked like he wanted to ask me a question. But instead, he spoke to Rick.

"Not you, not today. You gave three units of blood." Well, that explains why sheriff looked like shit. "You wouldn't be hiking five minutes in this heat before passing out."

Now Hershel turned to Shane, "And your ankle. Push it now, you'll be laid up a month. Not good to anybody."

"Guess it's just me," Daryl spoke for the first time licking his lips as he stared at the map. "I'm gonna head back to the creek. Work my way from there."

"Alrighty, Dixon." That's the first time I spoke to him since our incident yesterday, and I tried to avoid his eyes. I was still mad at him, but if I'd look into these blue orbs, I'd probably cave. "You look like a blue kind of guy to me. Matches your eyes." I handed him a few rag pieces, an old shirt was my best guess. "Cut it into strips and tie it to the tree every so often on eye level."

He just grunted as a response but took it neither less.

"I could still be useful," Shane said, and I nodded. "Drive up to the interstate. See if Sophia wandered back."

"Take Andrea with you," I added, and both of them looked at me. "If something happens, she'll be your back-up."

"All right," Rick said. "Tomorrow then. We'll start doing this right."

"That means we can't have our people out there with just knives." Shane started, and I agreed. "We need the gun training they've been promised." Andrea looked the happiest at that statement.

"I'd prefer you not carrying guns on my property." Hershel said, and we all looked at him perplexed. Was he serious? How we gonna protect his people and us if something happens? "We've managed so far without turning this into an armed camp."

"All due respect," Shane replied like he couldn't believe what he just heard. "You get a crowd of those things wandering in here-"

"We're- we're quests here." Rick interrupted him. "This is your property, and we will respect that." He looked around at us, his voice hard and serious as he put his Colt on the car. Shane pressed his lips together and lay his own gun next to Ricks.

"First things first. Set camp. Find Sophia."

"I hate to be the one to ask, but somebody's got to. What happens if we find her and she's bit?" Good question, Shane. "I think we should all be clear on how we handle it."

"You do what has to be done." Rick answered.

"And then you bring her back, so we can say our goodbyes." I added, looking down. I didn't want to think about that option at all.

"And her mother? What do you tell her?" That came from Maggie, she was clearly upset at that thought.

"The truth." Andreas simply said.

"I'll gather and secure all the weapons. Make sure no one's carrying towards a practice range off-site." Rick still had to try to stay busy.

"I do request one rifleman on the lookout. Dale got's experience, and Elena got formal sniper training." Shane added to that, and I couldn't disagree. If we couldn't carry, we at least should be watching the perimeter. Hershel looked around but didn't answer, so Rick tried to convince him some more.

"Our people would feel safer, less inclined to carry a gun." Hershel slowly nodded in agreement. "Thank you."

Shane and Daryl started to walk away when Maggie spoke again. "That stuff you brought. Got any more antibiotics, anything like that?"

"Only what you've seen and only thanks to Daryl and his brother," I replied while looking at the map.

"We're already running short. I should make a run into town."

"Not the place Shane went?" Rick asked. Yeah, we didn't want anyone to go back there.

"No. There's a pharmacy just a mile down the road. I've done it before."

Rick turned around and pointed at Glenn. "See our man there in the baseball cap? That's Glenn, our go-to town expert. I'd ask him along just to be cautious." Maggie nodded and walked away to speak to a Korean man.

"Elena, what you gonna do?" Rick finally asked me.

"I'm gonna take this side of a creek in case she changed directions again." I pointed into the spot on a map. I turned it around and used a blue marker to write Daryl's name, and pink to write mine. "I'll keep my handgun." Hershel gave me a stern look before I could continue.

"Only when I'm out there. Once I'm back, it will go into my duffel."

"Elena-" Rick started, but I rose my hand up, interrupting him.

"Rick. Hershel, I'll respect your wishes even if I don't agree with them. I have a duffel bag with other weapons. I am going to keep it safe and secure in my tent. Everybody knows not to touch it."

"And if they won't listen?" Hershel crossed his arms while he replied, I just sent him a gentle smile.

"We were at the quarry near Atlanta before. There was a man, Morales. He wanted to see what I got there. Well, let's just say he didn't do it again after I found out, and others from our group know now to stay away from it."

He looked at me again, pressing his lips, finally asking a question that was in his mind for a while. "What did you do before?"

"SSA Elena James, FBI. At your service, sir." I hope that answered his questions. I took pink pieces of fabric and walked away to were I left my packs.

I moved some of the loose hair out of my face as I was walking through the forest. I was marking my area systematically every few hundred yards. So far, I found a squirrel, and that's it. One fucking squirrel. I was starting to get frustrated. Why we didn't see Sophia yet or any signs at all?

I was just pushing away a branch out of my path when I heard a twig snap from behind. I hid behind the nearest tree and readied my machete. I had a bow with me, of course, but here forest was to thick to fight with it. Peeking out, I noticed three walkers, quickly approaching where I stood. I grabbed one of my throwing knives and swapped my blades, so I hold it in my right hand. I aimed at the one closest to me, and it hit the ground seconds later, tripping one of the other geeks. I waited for another one, and when its growls came out from right next to me, I stepped out and swang machete through the air. It sliced into its the brain, easily separating the top of the head from the rest of its body. Before I could do anything else, the last walker grabbed my ankle and pulled hard, making me fall to the ground and drop the blade. Fuck. I kicked it with my other foot a couple times before it released me, and I pushed myself back. Rolling a few times, to get away from it, I took out another knife just as the dead lunched at me. I pulled my knees up to my chest and stopped it using my feet. Not gonna lie, this was when I started to panic, just a little bit. The face of this walker was half missing, and so was one of his hands. But the other still tried to claw at me. I grabbed it quickly and pushing my hips out, I rolled us over, so I was on top, swiftly sinking the blade in walker's temple. It went still, and I breathed slowly, trying to calm down. It was a close call, again.

I scrambled back to my feet and collected my weapons, continuing with my search. It took me another hour before I decided to start heading back. I already covered a considerable chunk of woods, and still had to set up my tent before dark. I hoped that Daryl or Shane found her. Something up ahead made me pick up my pace and furrow my brows. I stopped in front of the tree and reached to pick up a piece of clothing from the branch. For a second I thought, that maybe I stepped into Daryl's grid, but then I looked at it up close. It was a piece of a t-shirt, blue, but it was dirty, making me hope that it was Sophia's. I tugged it in my back pocket and looked around. Trying to take a mental note of my surroundings and where exactly I found it. I was about two miles out. It means that she was here. I didn't know how long ago and if she actually went in the direction of a farm. But it was something more than we managed in the last two days. It was a lead, and I'd check area east of here, tomorrow. Unless, of course, Sophia was already back.

Rick was the one who greeted me back, asking straight away if I found her. I sadly shook my head. It meant she wasn't back and that other men didn't see her.

"No, I didn't. But I found this." I took a piece of t-shirt out of my pocket and showed it to him. "Where is the map? I'll show you where it was."

"Inside the house. We also set up your tent out there." He said and pointed out to my small blue tent, sitting slightly behind the others. I smiled at that and gave him a nod.

"Thanks, you didn't have to."

"I know, but I also wanted to make sure that your bags are secure inside, including your small arsenal." I arched my brow at him questioningly, and he ran his hand over the back of his neck. Surely he wouldn't try that, would he?

"I might or might not look inside." I cleared my throat at that, and smack my lips in displeasure.

"Now, I have to kick your ass, Rick."

"I just needed to know what you got there, for the safety of others." He tried to explain, and I chuckled at that, not in a joyful manner.

"The others were safe with me for the last fifty days. Just next time, ask. I'd show you." I said, and he looked away. Good, be ashamed, Grimes. "Anyway, I'm gonna put my Glock away and meet you at the house."

It took me less than five minutes to get inside, and I spotted Maggie and Beth, the youngest daughter of Hershel. They were doing something in the kitchen. They directed me to where Rick was waiting. I marked the map with my color once he put it on the table. Then I made a small dot where I thought the ripped piece of clothing was.

"Tomorrow I'll try to search in here, it's possible that she changed direction again. Well, considering that she didn't show up here yet." I told him, and he nodded, agreeing with me.

"Shane waited for three hours, but she wasn't on the highway. We'll send someone there again tomorrow."

"And Daryl?" I avoided his eyes, trying to look nonchalant.

"Not back yet."

"What's that?" Beth asked me, coming from behind. She pointed at my belt.

"Oh shit. I'm sorry. I completely forgot I still have it. I'll take them to Carol, she can cook it." The young girl was looking at a string of four perky squirrels that were attached to my belt. She looked taken aback and frowned at that.

"I came to tell you that you can use our shower if you want."

"Thank you, Beth. That's very kind of you. I'll just dispose of these and grab fresh clothes." I smiled at her and walked out of the house.

The sun started to set. Glenn, T-Dog, and I sat down by a small fire, eating our dinner and swapping stories from the world before. Glenn was very cheerful, and T was feeling much better, now that his wound was taken care of professionally. They told me about the accident by the well, and I told them what happened last night after they left.

"Imagine me sitting there, in the suit waiting for her to come downstairs. And I swear that all those dolls were just staring right at my soul." Glenn and I burst into a laugh, T's dating experiences seemed weird, and that's putting it mildly.

"So, what did you do?" Glenn wanted to know.

"What could I do? I took her out. We ate dinner. I dropped her back at her home and then ran for my life." At that, we laughed again, barely keeping it together.

"What about you, Elena?" I put a finger to my lips, trying to think about it.

"Not a lot to talk about. Most guys, as soon as they found out what I was doing for a living, stopped being interested."

"I don't believe it!" T-Dog gasped and send me a knowing look. "I bet there is one guy who would be interested."

"Really, where?" I faked shock and looked around, pretending to search for that guy.

"Tall, shaggy hair, horrible with other people."

"Oh, fuck off with that again." I slapped his shoulder and shook my head at that. Glenn looked puzzled and asked.

"Do you mean Daryl?" I looked at T, and we both started laughing.

"Yeah, man. Are you deaf? You never heard her talk to him?" Glenn just shrugged at that and took a swing of water from his bottle.

"He's a friend. And he really isn't that bad once you get to know him. He can even be funny when he tries." They didn't reply, but T-Dog arched his brow, and I just rolled my eyes at that.

"Alrighty, guys. I'm going to bed. Glenn, wake me up for my watch. Just be more careful this time." Last time we swapped our shifts, I nearly stabbed him in a stomach.

I walked to my tent and turn on a small oil lamp. I wanted to read before I'd actually fell asleep. I was dead on my feet, but I needed this. Just a tiny moment to myself, to feel a little bit how it was before walkers. I didn't even read for five minutes when I heard someone clearing their throat at the entrance. For fuck sake, not even five minutes of peace in this place.

"Who's there?" I looked up from the book and silently grabbed a hunting knife I had tucked under my pillow.

"Daryl." His gruff voice was quiet, nearly a whisper. I shuffled on my sleeping bag, sitting up and pulling my knees up to make more space for him.

"Come in." He hesitated for a moment before unzipping flap and crouching inside. I looked at him questioningly, my face emotionless, staring right at his blue eyes, or somewhere where they should be. He still didn't say anything, looking around me but not directly. One hand playing with a hole in his pants, the other partly hidden behind him.

"Can I help you Daryl?" I asked as I put my book away, showing him that he got my attention, but that I'm not gonna start this conversation.

"I'm not good at that." He finally said, looking down at his lap. I narrowed my eyes, well Mister, I don't give a shit. I'm not gonna make it easier for you. Plus, I'm rubbish at apologizing too.

"I got ya that." He finally showed me his other hand. A single flower was sticking out of the old beer bottle. He stretched his hand and almost shoved it into my hands.

"What's that?" My eyebrows scrunched a little, and he replied.

"Cherokee Rose."

"I know what kind of flower it is, Daryl. Why you giving it to me? Should've given it to Carol."

He huffed under his nose and started fidgeting with his fingers. "I did. Do ya know the story?"

"Yes, I do. That's why I'm confused as to why you're giving me that." I wasn't. I mean, I was, but it was also very sweet, and he's not getting it back.

"Ya not making it easier for me, woman!" He mumbled and started biting his lower lip, and mine twitched a little. I had to concentrate a little bit harder on keeping my face blank.

"Nope."

"It's in the hope that our friendship isn't lost," He said that very quietly, looking away, and I heard him only because we were so close to each other.

"Hmm, OK." I was about to keep him on edge for longer, but couldn't hide my smile any longer. The gesture was so sweet and carrying, and the fact that he thought of me while he got a flower for Carol was very touching. Something deep inside me stirred, and almost forgotten warmth spread through me. I moved closer, kneeling in front of him with a big smile on my face. "So, you finally admit that we're friends?"

He blushed but finally looked at me, nodding gently. I touched his arm for second and then sat back down in a sleeping bag.

"Thank you, it's beautiful." He hummed in response and moved to leave the tent. When he was nearly out, I called out after him.

"Hey, Dixon. I wasn't kidding before. Do that again, and I'll kick your ass." I pointed my finger at him, and he just smirked, a small twitch of his mouth.

"I'd love to see ya try."

"Oh, game on Big Boy!"

As I watched him walk out and slowly zip the entrance, I lowered my face to the flower I was holding. I closed my eyes at the sweet scent that filled my nose. I took it out of the bottle and then snaped it at the base, so just head remained. Quickly finding my backpack, I took out my notebook, where I was keeping track of days, and put the flower between the pages.

And right at this moment, just when I was gently stroking smooth petals, something hit me. Hard, like a train, throwing me in the air. A simple realization that I'm actually falling for Daryl Dixon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the views and comments. They really mean a lot and motivate me to keep writing.
> 
> This note is a question, as to what you think should happen. I had few ideas as to when Elena and Daryl should actually get together, I have drafts of all of them. But I thought it would be good to see what are your ideas. When in your opinion would be a good time for them to start an actual relationship? Review or send me PM's with your thoughts!
> 
> Until next time! :)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys for how short this chapter is. It's more of a filler, before we get to good stuff.  
> Enjoy, and as always leave comments with your thoughts! :)

**Day 53**

My watch tonight was boring as fuck. Nothing moved between the trees, the breeze was gentle and refreshing in the morning hours. Dale swapped with me around seven in the morning, and by then, people started to wake up. Carol asked for my dirty clothes, and I gladly obliged. I knew she needed to feel busy. 

"Elena, thank you." She told me when I gave her my clothes.

"What for?"

"Looking for her." My face softened, and I took her hand in mine.

"Nothing to thank for, Carol." She smiled at me with tears in her eyes and hugged me. It took me by surprise, and I just stood there, not really sure what to do. I'm not one for touchy-feely stuff. Hesitating for one more second, I hugged her back, gently putting my arms around her.

"I'm gonna see if Carl's awake. I didn't have a chance to speak to him yet." I told her softly and unwrapped from our embrace, sending her a smile.

Carl was indeed awake, sitting in the bed. He had a bandage around his abdomen, and he looked pale, but not on a brick of death. We talked for a while, about anything, it shocked him that I didn't really know a lot of comics. According to him, he'll fix it as soon as we get some. He was a sweet kid, but I excused myself after some time. I'm still not the best with teenagers. He was going to be OK, and that what's important, that, and finding Sophia.

I spent about an hour with Carl, and it lifted my spirits a little. People were walking around the camp now, fully awake. Carol and Lori were hanging laundry up, and T was prepping a quick breakfast. Some eggs that Patricia offered to us and canned food. It's better than starving. When we finished eating, Shane called for all of us to gather around a car.

Shane, Rick, Andrea, T, and I were already by the car. Map spread and my matching pens and rags next to it. 

"Alright. Everyone's getting new search grids today." Rick started saying, as soon as Daryl came into view, putting his shirt over a wife-beater. I unconsciously licked my lips and averted my eyes. Last night still fresh in my mind. "If she made it as far as the farmhouse Daryl found, she might have gone further east than we've been so far."

"But she also can be in this area, here." I pointed at the map. "So, we need to check all of that." I circled a part of the paper with a finger. Shane sat inside the car, and Jimmy, Beth's boyfriend, came to us.

"I'd like to help." He said. "I know the area pretty well and stuff."

"Hershel's OK with this?" Rick asked as we didn't want any trouble.

"Yeah. He said I should ask you."

"Alright, then. Thanks."

"Nothing about what Daryl found screams Sophia to me." Shane spoke from the car, in all his glory, damping the spirits. "Anyone could have been holed up in that farmhouse."

"Anybody includes her, right?" I could kiss Andrea for that. It seems like she took my words to heart. 

"Whoever slept in that cupboard is no bigger than yay high." Daryl waved his hand around his lower torso and continued to button his shirt. 

"Good lead."

"And Elena's findings are narrowing the grid as well. That's why we gonna search in between those two areas." Rick continued with his plan, and I gave Andrea a dark blue T-shirt with my FBI logo on it. She nodded at me and took it.

"I'm gonna borrow a horse, head up to this ridge right here, get a bird's-eye view of the whole grid." Daryl pointed the map just as Dale came around with a bag of guns Rick collected yesterday. Mine was already sitting in the holster. Today I made sure to take my silencer with me. Yesterday was a close call, and I didn't need another. Especially that Daryl and I were the only two going out there without a backup.

"Just make sure to mark it, as I'm heading in here, don't want to end up with an arrow in my ass." I showed him where I was going, and he nodded. 

"Just be careful, Dixon. You may see your Chupacabra again." I nearly choked and had to cover my mouth with a hand to not laugh out loud. Next to me, Daryl sent me an evil look but didn't comment.

"Chupacabra?" Rick asked, trying to hide his own amusement. 

"Oh, that shit was funny." I added and winked at the hunter, and he shoved me with his shoulder. Yep, we're back to normal now.

"You never heard it?" It was Dale who decided to tell a story. "The first night we camped, Daryl tells us that the whole thing reminds him when he went squirrel hunting, and he saw Chupacabra." I think I'm the only one who knows the rest of that. Merle told me when we were out hunting once. Apparently, he slipped Daryl some mushrooms, but young Dixon didn't realize until he was back from woods. Freaked out as fuck, not knowing what's real and what's a hallucination. Especially that Daryl wasn't the one for drugs. No, that was Merle's forte. 

"What are you braying at, jackass?" Daryl asked in law, almost threatening voice, and I realized that it was directed at Jimmy, not me. 

"So you believe in a blood-sucking dog?" Amusement in the boy's tone was understandable, but laughing at Daryl Dixon isn't a smart thing. Unless you're me, of course.

"Ya believe dead people walkin' around?"

"Oh, touche!" I tried to high-five the hunter, but he just looked at me like I'm crazy. "What you doing?" I added as I noticed that Jimmy was trying to reach for one of the guns from the bag. 

"Ever fire one before?" Rick moved the boy's hand away and gave him a serious look. 

"Well, if I'm going out, I want one." The kid replied, sounding cocky. 

"Yeah, people in hell want Slurpees." I snorted at Daryl's comment and was watching him as he walked away. Admiring his broad shoulders, and that ass--  
T-Dog nudged my side, his eyebrows doing this stupid dance again. Giving him a bird was my only response. 

"Here," I said and handled Rick red rag pieces, they supposed to be for him and Shane. "I'm going too, I have an afternoon shift on the RV, so I want to check my area before that." I waved at Glenn, who stood on the porch before disappearing in the forest. 

The woods were once alive full of small animals coexisting with each other. Leaves used to rustle, making soft music along with chirping of birds. But in this new world, all of it seemed to disappear. Almost as sensing the dangers, everything was quiet today. For some, it could be peaceful, but for me, it was eerie and concerning. The only sounds around me were the soft crunching of leaves under my boots and sporadical twigs as I stood on them. The trees appeared to be closer together, not allowing a lot of sunlight to breakthrough. The bark looked darker and rougher than before. And even though I knew it just my imagination, just manifestation of my gloom mind, it put me on edge. I had my machete ready, and my arm started to throb a little from the strained muscles.   
It's been four days since Sophia vanished, and I started to lose hope that we'll find her. Or what was even worse, I was afraid that when we will, it won't be Sophia anymore. I didn't want to think like that, but now alone in the forest with no trail, no new leads after hours of trekking, I couldn't help but feel this way. And I knew that this was the only time I could allow myself to think about it. Carol needed hope, and so did Rick. I saw how much he blamed himself. Our first few days weren't rainbows and rays of sunshine, and he pissed me off more than once, that's true. But Lori was right, Rick was the only one who ran after Sophia, he didn't hesitate and risked his own life. 

I looked up to see where the sun was and decided that it was late enough for me to start to go back. I had to relive Dale soon and didn't want to get back too late.

When I came back, again, everybody except Daryl was back. Another thing I noticed was that Andrea was the one on the top of RV.

"Hey, what you doing there?" She sat up from the chair and walked to the edge, rifle on her shoulder.

"Dale let me keep a watch for a while." I nodded, not entirely sure if it's such a good idea.

"Alright, I'll be here to change you in a bit. And if you see a walker, yell. If it's just one, we don't need to draw attention by shooting it." She gave me a mocking salute, and I pressed my lips in a thin line before walking away. I put my gun back in a duffel and went to see if Carol or Lori need any help. Before I was able to go to the house, Rick called me over. 

He stood by himself by the edge of our little camp. I was curious as to what he would possibly need from me. We didn't really speak in private except that night when the quarry was attacked.

"You didn't find anything?" Was the first question he asked when I was close enough. I shook my head gently.

"No, how about you and Shane?" He sighed and ran a hand over his hair, I noticed that it's his tell for when he's agitated.

"No." Rick licked his lips and took a deep breath before he continued. "Do you think we'll find her?"

I was gobsmacked, why is he asking me that? "Did Shane said something to you?"

"Yeah, he did. But I want to know what you think." OK, so Deputy Dick planted a seed of doubt in the sheriff. I closed my eyes for a second, thinking about an answer.

"I think we'll think her. We have to find her!" He nodded but didn't look convinced.

"How can you be so positive--" I grabbed his arm, to stop him from pacing and lowered my voice.

"I'm not. It's been four days. We will find Sophia, Rick. But I'm afraid it may not be the way you'd like." The look he gave made me avert my eyes. It's like I shattered his last hopes. "I want her to be safe and alive. And there is still a chance that she is, I'm not giving up on that. All I'm saying is that there is this other option, and you have to be ready for it."

He started pacing again, but before we could resume, Andrea began to yell.

"Walker, walker!" She stood up from the chair and reached for the rifle by her side.

"Andrea! Don't shoot!" I said, running forward to see, and indeed, by the tree line, there was a figure, slowly making its way towards the camp. 

"Just the one?" Rick asked from behind me. Andrea picked up binoculars and, after a second, nodded, confirming. 

"I bet I can nail it from here." 

"Andrea, don't! If it's just the one, we can take care of it." I said as I grasped my machete.

"No, no. Put the gun down." Rick added, and that finally got her to lower gun down. She was frowning, visibly unhappy that she is told what to do.

"You'd best let us handle this." Shane came out of his tent, pickaxe in hand, T-Dog next to him with a baseball bat. 

"Shane, hold up. Hershel wants to deal with walkers." I didn't listen to them anymore, I just started jogging towards the geek. There were footsteps right behind me, and as I looked over my shoulder, I saw Glenn, T-Dog, Shane, and Rick. The closer I got, the more things weren't adding up. It was strolling, right, but more or less in a straight line. And it was holding something in hand? Can walkers even do that?

"Daryl?" I finally said when I stopped just in front of him, and my heart dropped at the sight of him. Rick was just next to me and pointed a gun at the hunter. Blue eyes met mine, and I breathed out shakily, he wasn't dead. Dirty clothes, his shirt wrapped tightly around his stomach. Skin sweaty and covered in mud and blood. But the eyes were alive.

"That's the third time ya pointed that thing at my head. Ya gonna pull the trigger or what." I chuckled at that, putting my blade away, taking small steps towards him. Rick put his weapon down, and other men also gave a sigh of relief. Before I could get any closer to Dixon, a gunshot echoed around us, and his body was thrown back. I was first to react and by his side, feeling tears pooling in my eyes.

"No, Daryl!" I touched his face, checking for injuries, as worst thought came to my mind.   
It was just a graze on the side of his head. He tried to touch it, but I pulled his hand away, gently. "Don't touch it. We'll fix you up."

"I was kiddin'." He said while Rick and Shane pulled him up, supporting his body. 

"Oh my god." Andrea and Dale ran towards us, and she sounded distressed. Oh, she will be. I clenched my fists and jaw, trying to control the anger that was raging through my body. 

"Unconscious. You just grazed him." Rick told her.

"But look at him." Glenn pointed at something around Daryl's neck. "What the hell happened? He's wearing ears." I got around them and pulled the string of his neck, hiding it in my pocket.

"Let's keep that to ourselves." 

"Guys, isn't this Sophia's?" We all stopped and turned to see T-Dog holding a raggedy doll. The one Sophia got from Morales' kid back at the quarry. 

The men started walking away, dragging Daryl's body to the house. Andrea and Dale wanted to follow, but I grabbed the woman by her arm, stopping her. She looked at me and started apologizing.

"I'm sorry Elena--"

"Shut up!" I interrupted her and licked my lips, trying my hardest to hide the storm that was boiling inside me. "In the car, I gave you a chance. You fucked up. You didn't listen to what I said, to Rick or Dale told you." 

Her face went pale, and I could see the guilt in her eyes. I think Dale wanted to say something, but I gave him a stern look. "I just tried to help."

"No. You tried to prove something. If you'd gone through the training, you'd know that you never shoot unless you can see your target clearly. Did you?" She bit her lip and looked away. "No, you didn't. You had a sun in your eyes. Otherwise, you'd see that it's fucking Daryl."

I breathed in deeply and got in her face. My voice low and raspy from all emotions. "You have no idea how hard I have to try to stop myself from killing you right now." She stepped back, shock on her face.

"Elena!" Dale tried to talk to me, but it wasn't his turn.

"You want to help? Then you listen. If we tell you not to do something, then you fucking follow. Not happy with that? Get fucking lost before you actually kill someone." Then I turned to Dale, my eyes dark and dangerous.

"And you. The only reason Andrea was there it's because you try to make up for CDC. And you have to fucking stop, Dale. You apologized and explained. If she doesn't get it, then obviously she ain't worth it. And especially not if the safety of this camp can be compromised." He looked taken aback, but I just gave them last angry glare and walked away. 

I had a map on my lap, and a blue marker in hand, waiting for Daryl to point out where he found the doll. Hershel cleaned the wound on his side and now was stitching it. Rick, Shane, and I were allowed to come in and speak to the hunter before he passes out again.   
He was very uncomfortable, his torso and back exposed. The image of his scars came back to my mind. It was obviously something he didn't want to talk about, and I think something he didn't want other people to know about. 

"I found it washed up on a creek bed right there," Daryl said, and his finger touched the spot on the map. It was the other side of where we searched that first day.

"She must've dropped it crossin' there somewhere." He continued, and I ran a hand over my face.

"Cuts the grid almost in half." Rick commented, happy that we got any trail, but Shane looked unimpressed. 

"Yeah, ya welcome."

"How's he looking?" Rick asked Hershel. The older man finished the last stitch and cut it off.

"I had no idea I'd be going through antibiotics so quickly." Well, I'm sorry that we cause you so much trouble, old man. "Any idea what happened to my horse?" 

Daryl snorted under his nose and commented snarkily, "Yeah, the one that almost killed me? If it's smart, it left the country." Rick stood up, ready to leave the room, and Hershel was washing his hands. 

"We call that one Nelly, as in Nervous Nelly." He turned back to bed and send a grave look to Daryl. "I could've told you she would throw you if you'd bothered to ask."

Hershel stood in front of Rick, and as he was drying his hands, giving one more comment before leaving the room. "It's a wonder you people have survived this long."

The man left the room, and Shane followed him quickly. 

"I'll clean his head wound and stay with him for a while." I told Rick, who nodded and left as well.

"I don't need a babysitter woman." Daryl said, clearly not happy. I didn't reply, just soaked a fresh cloth and then chucked it at him.  
"Wash your face before I start." He glared at me, but I didn't avert my eyes. Neither did I change my posture, arms crossed on my chest, chin up. Yeah, we can play that game all day Dixon. He finally sighed and started to clean his face. I took another one and antiseptic cream that Hershel left, and sat next to him on a bed. One knee next to his arm, the other leg on the floor, supporting my weight. I pushed his hair away and could see him flinch. I clenched my jaw at that, did he think I'd ever hurt him? I'm mean yeah, I could've, but it doesn't mean I actually would. I squizzed the cloth and let a few drops fall onto the wound. He froze and tensed as I slowly started cleaning it, trying to be as gentle as I could. 

I could feel his eyes on me as I swapped cloth for the tube of cream, but decided to ignore it. If I'd look at him now, dirty and hurt, beside me on a bed, I probably would break down. And that is something I refused to do, especially in front of Daryl Dixon. Who knows how he would react. I pressed a gauze to the wound and took a clean bandage from the bedside table. Gently I started wrapping it around his head.

"Don't touch it." I said simply as I finished, standing up. I took the cloth from his hands and went to the bowl with water. I rinsed them and washed my hands, coming back to bed and now standing over him. I bend down a little and pressed the wet rag to his left shoulder. He was watching me, I could tell, but I still was not looking directly at his face. I washed his shoulders and neck, gently tracing muscles of his chest. In normal circumstances, I'd probably come in my pants at the view and the fact that he let me touch him. But right now, all I could do is to try with every part of me to stop the tears. And trying not to think about how close to death he was. 

"Ya quiet again." His voice was raspy and low. Almost a whisper, I could feel his breath in my hair. My hand stopped, lying on his stomach, and I clenched the rag tighter. Taking my hand away from his body, I cleared my throat.

"You nearly died." I watched you walk into the camp half-dead, covert in blood and guts. I watched you get shot, thinking that you left me. That's what I was thinking but couldn't tell him. He just nodded and started to bite his thumb, moving the other arm under his head. "You scared the shit out of me." I could hear how shaky my voice became, and I closed my eyes to compose myself again. I opened them quickly when I felt his hand on mine. It was just for a second, soft like a feather, but left me with burning sensation spreading through my whole body. 

"But I didn't die. Stop worrying, woman." I smiled at that and stood up. 

"I nearly killed Andrea." I admitted softly, dropping rags into the bowl and drying my hands. 

"Ya beat 'er up?" His voice was laced with amusement, and so was his face, when I turn back around to look at him.

"No, but it took every ounce of self-control I have." I smiled at him, walking towards the door. "Get some rest, I'll come back later."

I glanced at him one last time and walked out, going to the kitchen to see if Carol needs any help. 

The dinner was grim, and that's putting it nicely. Hershel was clearly not happy with our presence in his house. The fact that Glenn and Maggie were whispering to each other didn't help to lift his moods. Or when Glenn mentioned his new guitar and asked if anybody can play it. Patricia said that Otis did, and that was the end of all conversations. Andrea sat quietly next to Dale, and both of them avoided looking at me. Good, that was a plan, and hopefully, they'll learn from their mistakes. I wasn't kidding before. For the split second, when I saw Daryl on the ground, unmoving, I saw red. And if she would actually shoot him to death, I'd do exactly this same to her. Fuck what others would think.

I finished my meal and moved to the kitchen to wash the dishes. That was the last thing I could do, considering that I didn't help to make it at all. The women knew I can't cook for shit, but that doesn't mean I can't help somehow. 

Carol stopped next to me, and I took her plate with a nod. I watched as she prepared another one and then she smiled at me.

"I'm going to take it to Daryl, OK?" 

I furrowed my brows at her, "Why wouldn't it be?"

"Don't want you to think I'm hitting on your man." I nearly choked on my tongue at that, and my eyes went wide. Her only response was a wicked grin as she patted my back.

"He's not my man, Carol!" She chuckled and picked up the plate, turning to head upstairs.

"But you want him to be." 

These people really need to start minding their own fucking business. Or maybe it's me. Perhaps I need to start to control myself more. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Day 55**

I sat on the ground between Daryl and T-Dog, having a quiet conversation with the latter. Andrea was sharpening her knife, while the rest of us sat around the campfire and ate breakfast. Carol cooked some eggs and bacon, and now we were enjoying it before we'll plan where to search today.

Yesterday was another bust. Daryl decided that he can't stay cramped up in the house, so he moved back to his tent. It took me nearly an hour to convince him to stay there and not look for Sophia. In the end, I had to threaten him and take his crossbow. Let me tell you he wasn't thrilled at that.

We went to have gun training, finally. Carl was quite the shot, and so was Andrea. Seeing her smug face, I nearly exploded. Because she was fucking natural, and the only reason Daryl's alive it's because she had the sun in her eyes when she shot. T and I spent five hours after the training on searching another part of the forest, and it was another fucking close call for me.

_We were trekking for hours, exchanging only necessary words, when we got to the creek. T-Dog wanted to freshen up, and even though I didn't like the idea very much, I allowed him. He needed a moment to breathe, and honestly, so did I. The past few days, I was sleeping for no longer than four hours. Sophia always on my mind, making plans in my head where to look for her next._

_So when I saw T just happily splashing in the creek, I couldn't stop my smile. Water was shallow, up to his waist, and he waved at me to come. I took off my shoes and socks, just as he did, and went over to him. I washed my face and arms, enjoying cold. It was another hot day in Georgia, and water made a nice change._

_Soft groans from the shore cut short our splashing exchange, and as I reached for my machete, I realized I left it with my shoes. Not very far away from us, there were two walkers, coming our way. Steam hill made their pace quicker than usual. I still had my knives and took two out, throwing one of them almost instantly. T started trekking through the water to get to his weapon, and I began to follow him when something pulled hard on my ankle._

_I fell facedown, swallowing some water, and tried to turn around. I was kicking at whatever was holding me, using my fingers to get a grip on muddy sand to push myself away. Somewhere in all that commotion, I lost my knife, but at the moment, the only thing I could think of was breathing. In the last act of desperation, I kicked again, and the pressure on my leg stopped. I pushed myself upwards, resurfacing spitting water and gulping the air. I_

_couldn't hear anything around; the only sound was blood pumping through my body. I moved back as quickly as I could, reaching for another knife when the walker launched himself at me again. I was still barely catching my breath, scared, and disoriented. I was under the water again, holding onto the geek's shoulders as it lay on me._

_And all I could think was that I'm gonna die here, in this stupid fucking creek. And I'm gonna fucking turn, because soon, in seconds I won't be able to hold to the walker any longer. If not, I'll eventually pass out from lack of oxygen, and he will bite me. I tried to shove him away, to get a better grip, or to move so I can use my knife, but all was for nothing._

_I thought of Daryl and if he will be even slightly upset that I'm dead. I was kicking myself for not being brave enough and act on my feelings, to feel his touch on me and his lips on mine._

_My lungs felt like their gonna explode any second, my ears were ringing, and vision started to blurry. Suddenly I could feel a shift of water next to me, and a knife was pushed onto the walker. Strong arms wrapped around me, and I was pulled out. I chocked and spit the water again. More like harsh heaving, and tried to get air into my body. I was dragged, and someone put me down on the soft ground._

_Not someone, T-Dog. He held me to his chest, and I cried for the first time in years._

Someone nudged me in my ribs, so I looked over to see the same man that saved my life.

"You alright?" He asked, and I just nodded softly. We decided, or more as I ordered, to not say anything about that incident. When we were asked why are we wet, I just said that we took a quick swim in the creek. 

Glenn was acting extremely weird today; he just circled around little camp for the third time. He looked at Dale, and the older man just nodded. 

Glenn cleared his throat before speaking. "Um, guys." He was playing with his fingers and sweating a lot. Everybody looked at him as we waited for what he wanted to say. "So, the barn's full of walkers."

"What?" I croaked as fork slipped from my fingers. The others weren't looking any better, apparent disbelief on their faces. Shane was first to turn around without a word and jog to where the barn was. We all followed him, me staying slightly behind. Breathing was still hard after what happened yesterday. My throat felt sore; I sounded groggy every time I spoke. And filling my lungs with air hurt like a bitch. 

So I was the last to arrive, Shane already confirmed that indeed there are walkers in that damn barn. Now he was having an argument with Rick over what to do with it.

"You cannot tell me you're alright with this."

"No, I'm not," Rick replied he also sounded angry but tried to stay calm, for the rest of us. "But we're guests here. This isn't our land."

"Oh, God. This is our lives, man." Shane yelled and paced in his spot.

"Lower your voices." Lori said, and I looked over to the door, a few fingers tried to squizz through the cracks, and moans were getting louder. 

"We can't just sweep this under the rug." Andrea added her own comment, and I glared at her.

"But we can't just bust the doors open and take them out, either." I spat at her, my voice hoarse.

"And why not--"

"We either gotta go in there, we gotta make things right, or we just gotta go." Shane interrupted her, speaking directly to Rick. "Now, we've been talking about Fort Benning for a long time."

"We can't go!" Rick stopped his friend, raising his voice.

"Why, Rick? Why?" 

"Because my daughter's still out there." Carol finally said she wasn't leaving without Sophia, and neither was I. It doesn't matter if she's alive or not. 

"OK--" Deputy Dickhead started again, chuckling to himself a little. "I think it's time that we all start to just consider the other possibility."

"Shane, we're not leaving Sophia behind." 

"I'm close to finding this girl," Daryl added, moving towards Shane. "I just found her damn doll two days ago."

"You found a doll, Daryl!" This is not gonna end up without a fight. "That's what you did. You found a doll." 

"Ya don't know what the hell you're talkin' about!"

"Hey, look-- I'm just saying what needs to be said."

"So you what, just want to move on without even trying? You never wanted to find her, man." I told him, my own anger getting the best of me. He was never fucking serious about this; if he could be in charge, we'd leave after she ran away. 

"Elena, you know that. If you get a good lead, it's in the first 48 hours. After that, it don't matter!" Rick was telling us to stop, but I wasn't about to.

"It does fucking matter! We can't just stop looking. What if it would be Carl, hm? Then you would be singing differently, right?" I pointed at him my raspy voice, getting quieter after every word. I started coughing, and Carol pulled me back, her small hand on my back. 

"Let me tell you something else, man." Shane was looking at Daryl again, this guy really was looking for a fight today. "If she was alive out there, saw you coming, all method out with your buck knife and geek ears around your neck, she would run in the other direction, man." Carol sobbed softly at each word he said, and this time it was me who wrapped her in a hug.

After that comment, Daryl lunched at Shane, but Rick was in the middle, stopping them. Glenn and Andrea went to pull Daryl away, and Rick and Lori pushed Shane in a different direction. They were all shouting at this point.

"Back off, Shane!" Rick pushed his friend one last time. "Now, just let me talk to Hershel. Let me figure it out."  
Shane paced in his spot before he shouted again, "What are you gonna figure out?" I never saw him like that, so angry and full of aggression. 

"If we gonna stay, if we're gonna clear this barn, I have to talk him into it. This is his land!"

"Hershel sees those things in there as people, sick people." Dale interrupted, walking over to Rick. How the fuck he knew that? "His wife, his-- his-- his stepson."

"You knew?" The sheriff asked him, putting hands on his hips. 

"Yesterday," Dale nodded and continued. "I talked to Hershel."

"And you waited for the night?" Shane was ready to punch someone, and he didn't care who it would be.

"I thought we could survive one more night. We did." Dale spat in Deputy's direction before turning back to Rick. "I was waiting until this morning to say something. But Glenn wanted to be the one."

"The man is crazy, Rick."

"Shane, just shut up!" I told him, finally feeling like I can speak again. 

"Don't fucking tell me what to do!" He moved to me, finger at my face, his eyes narrowed. I stood my ground and pushed Carol behind me. 

"Then stop acting like a little girl with a temper tantrum!" I could see him twitch, and he moved closer to me but was stopped by Rick and Daryl stepped in front of me. Cute, but completely unnecessary.

"If Hershel thinks those things are alive or no!" Shane continued his screaming, and then we heard cracks and louder moans than before. We finally got the full attention of all walkers from that damn barn. They were pushing on the door, making them sway a little, and we all stepped back.

I looked at Carol and nodded at her softly. "Come on, let's get out of here." I pulled her with me, and we slowly started walking back to the camp. All this was fucked up. Did Hershel really was so blind to not see that there are not alive anymore?

"Where is he going?" Carol stopped in her tracks and looked somewhere to our right. I looked over in that direction and could see Daryl. His broad shoulders were straight, and he walked as a man on a mission. And he was holding his crossbow.

"Fucker went through my stuff!" I started moving towards the stables where he disappeared, Carol next to me.

"What you mean?"

"Yesterday, he tried to go look for Sophia, so I stole and hid his stupid crossbow." She hummed a little and sped up. Yeah, Dixon is not going anywhere, especially not on a fucking horse.

He was walking inside when we finally approached the stables. Saddle in his hands, ready to prepare an animal to take him back into the woods. Carol walked in first, looking at him with a sad face. I was angry, on the other hand. Jaw clenched, and my arms crossed over my chest. He was visibly struggling with a heavy item when he tried to put it on a prepping podium. He was breathing heavily and bend down a little. 

"You can't." Carol told him, but he didn't even glance at us. 

"I'm fine."

"You are not fine, you stubborn donkey." I commented and saw him move to get a horse, he was holding his wounded side.

"Hershel said you need to heal." The other woman added, trying to stop him. Yeah, that won't work. 

"Yeah, I don't care." Was the only thing he said. Carol's face softened and looked between him and me.

"Well, we do. Rick's going out later to follow the trail."

"And so am I. Daryl, don't do it." I said and tried to stop him by putting my hand on his arm, but he just shrugged it off. 

"Yeah. Well, I ain't gonna sit around and do nothin'."

Carol crossed her arms, and her voice grew in confidence. "No, you're gonna go out there and get yourself hurt even worse."

He didn't reply just started to put the bit on a horse he was taking. Carol swallowed hard and then looked at me, a small smile on her face, but in her eyes, I could see tears. She faced Daryl again before continuing. "We don't know if we're going to find her, Daryl. We don't." My mouth hung open, and my eyes went wide as I stared at her speechless. I felt as blood in my veins froze for a second.

How could she say that? To him and to me. We've been searching relentlessly every single day. Surely she can't believe it! It's her daughter we're talking about for god's sake. Unless it was some silly strategy to stop the man from going there and getting hurt. If so, she's way braver than I thought, because I don't think his reaction will be the pleasant one. Daryl stopped what he was doing and looked at her in disbelief. 

"I don't." She added in a whisper, and I ran my hand over my hair. Feeling soft curls under my fingers, all I wanted was to pull them out of frustration. The worst can happen in that kind of situation is a mother giving up hope. 

Daryl moved to a woman, looking directly in her eyes as he asked, "What?"

She just shrugged her shoulders and bit her lips, looking again between him and myself. "Can't lose you, too. Either of you." Daryl's eyes narrowed, and he shook his head, I could see the vein on his neck twitching, and he turned around, ready to leave the stable. In the act of frustration, he grabbed the saddle and threw it across. Daryl grunted in pain and bend over to hold his side, which still hurt him. I didn't move from my spot, not believing what Carol said. Like I mentioned before, we can't stop looking. Even if she's dead, we need to find her and bring her home to her mom. 

"You alright?" Carol ran to his side to check on him, but he pushed her hands away.

"Just leave me be!" He yelled at her moving away, anger clear in his voice. The woman just stood there, not knowing what to do, so she just looked after the hunter as he was walking away. "Stupid bitch!" He added in a low husky voice, and that made my veins boil. I pushed passed Carol, telling her to go back to the camp. She had tears running down her face.

Yes, what she said hurt a lot. But he didn't have any right to call her like that. 

"Dixon!" I yelled after him, but he didn't slow down, so I jogged around him and pushed him back. "Stop!" 

"What ya want? Ya here to tell me that searchin' is pointless as well?" I shook my head and locked my grey eyes with his blue ones. 

"No, Daryl," I said this time softer, trying to calm him down a little bit. Shouting at him when he's in that state won't help anything. Even if I really wanted to. "You'll come with me. To look for Sophia, I mean. I'm going to take a car to the west." He didn't speak was just looking at me with that hurt eyes of his.

"I checked the map before, and I think she could go in that direction. There're few houses, she could hide in there." I continued and put my hands on his shoulders, making him flinch slightly. "But we can't be going alone anymore, especially that you're still hurt."

"Alright." Daryl finally replied, taking my wrist gently in his hands and pulling them away from him.

"But before we go, you'll apologize to Carol." He looked away, he was calmer now and blush spread across his face. Realization at what he said to the women finally hit him. "She's scared, and she feels responsible for you getting hurt. She didn't mean what she said, she just tried to stop you from going." I added, and I hoped what I say was true. He chewed on his lower lip for a little bit before moving away back to his tent. 

"And Dixon," I said after him, making Daryl look over his shoulder. "If you left a mess in my tent, I'll make you clean it."

I sat on the porch in one of the chairs, waiting for Daryl to turn up. He took Carol somewhere about an hour ago, and they still didn't come back. I thought about what she said the other night, and my stomach clenched. She didn't want Daryl, that's what she said, but what about him? He was way more helpful to her recently and gave her a flower. I shook my head, stupid, crazy woman that's who I'm. Who cares if he does. I have no right or claims over him. He's an attractive man that's true, and I might have some sort of feelings somewhere deep inside me. But he is not mine. He can do whatever he wants.

To my right, Patricia and Beth were playing with Carl, and Glenn sat down with Maggie on the steps. I saw their little argument and how they made out, and I didn't spare them. Sending kissy faces as soon as they came into my view. Glenn froze when he saw me and blushed, but Maggie just smiled and winked.   
I was sharpening my knives, mainly out of boredom, when I noticed Andrea and T walking over to the house. I stood up, putting my weapons away and leaned over the porch to talk to them.

"Do you know what's going on?" T-Dog asked Glenn, who stood up as well. 

"Where is everyone?" Andrea added.

"You haven't seen Rick?" Korean man answered, and I walked down the stairs to join them.

"He went off with Hershel. We were supposed to leave a couple hours ago." She then looked at me, and I shrugged.

"I'm waiting for Daryl, he went off somewhere with Carol."

"I'm here. But ya were supposed to go." Two people I talked about came into our view, Daryl was not happy that nobody's looking for Sophia. "What the hell?" I looked them over, and they seemed just as they were when I saw them last time. The only difference was that the hunter left his crossbow somewhere. 

"Rick told us he was going out."

"Dammit. Isn't anybody takin' this seriously?" Daryl asked, agitated.

"Well, I was waiting for you, Big Boy." I crossed my arms as he sent me an angry glare. What? It was true.

"Ah, here we go." We all looked over to see what he was talking about. Shane came around the house, shotgun in his hand, and duffel with the rest of them over his shoulder. 

"Why the fuck you have guns, Shane?" I asked him, narrowing my eyes at him. He didn't even spare me a glance as he approached Daryl, shoving another shotgun into hunters' arms.

"You with me, man?" He took it, but still looked unsure. Fuck, Shane was going to bust open the barn. "Time to grow up. You already got yours?" He asked Andrea and me, we both nodded as a reply, but I still didn't like this. Running hands over my hair, I got closer to him.

"Shane think about, please. We don't have to do it this way." I tried to convince him, but when he looked me in the eyes, I stumbled backward. I saw that look before. Whatever happened to Shane in the last few days. Whichever event made him transform into this new person, he was dangerous. He looked almost as he lost all attachments with reality. And there was no stopping him. At this moment, he didn't care about the damage. Shane was on a mission, and he'd hurt whoever tries to intervene. 

"Where's Dale?" Andrea asked him.

"He's on his way." Yeah, but in one peace? He gave another gun to T-Dog, and the Black man said.

"I thought we can't carry."

"Yeah, well, we can, and we have to." No, Shane, we don't. But I stayed away, he was dangerous like that and I didn't want to risk other people. "Now, look. It was one thing standing around here picking daisies when we thought this place was supposed to be safe." He addressed everyone. Maggie looked disturbed and worried, and so did younger Greene. 

"But now we know it ain't," Shane continued and held out a rifle to Glenn. "How about you, man. You gonna protect what's yours?" At that, he nodded towards Maggie. Glenn looked at the woman beside him and took the weapon, but he wasn't pleased about it. 

"That's it. Can you shoot?" Deputy directed that question to Maggie, and she didn't hold back.

"Can you stop? You do this, you hand out these guns, my dad will make you leave tonight." She was right, Hershel for sure won't be happy about this. But I don't think Shane cared at this moment, and he for sure wouldn't hesitate to kill the older man to make sure we can stay. Not when he was like this.

"We have to stay, Shane." Carl walked down the steps as he spoke.

"What is this?" Lori came around the corner, hearing all the commotion.

"We ain't going anywhere, OK." The man replied to the kid's statement, confirming my thoughts. "Now, look. Hershel-- he's just gotta understand, OK? Well, he's gonna have to." He nodded to himself and then took a handgun from the back of his pants. "And we have to find Sophia. Am I right?" 

He crouched in front of Carl and stretched his hand to him, offering him the weapon. "Now, I want you to take this. You take it, Carl, and you keep your mother safe. You do whatever it takes." Lori started moving towards her son and pushed him back while Shane continued his crazy speech. "You know how. Go on, take the gun, and do it."

"Rick said no guns." Lori snarled at the man when Carl was safe behind her back. "This is not your call. This is not your decision to make."

"Oh, shit." I turned around to see what made T-Dog say it, and I gasped. Holly fucks. Far away, by the tree line, we could clearly see Jimmy, Hershel, and Rick leading two walkers to the barn. The geeks had snarl poles around their necks and were struggling and swatting their arms around to get to their next meal. 

"Fuck." I mumbled under my nose when Shane started running through the field.

"What the hell you doing?!" We all follow after him, my breath was shaky, and I couldn't keep the pace.

"Shane, just back off." Rick was holding onto one of the walkers, and Jimmy was standing in front of them, serving as a bait, I assume. 

"Why do your people have guns?" Yep, Hershel wasn't happy. But he didn't see it like we did. He was just fucking luring geeks onto his barn. And for us, that was more dangerous than holding onto a gun.

"Are you kidding me? You see what they're holding on to?" He started to circle around them, making the walkers even more agitated. 

"I see who I'm holding on to!"

"Nah, man, you don't!"

"Shane, just let us do this. Then we can talk." Rick was struggling to keep a grip on a pole.

"What you wanna talk about, Rick? These things ain't sick! They're not people! They're dead! Ain't gotta feel nothing for them because all they do? They kill. These things, right here!" 

He was pacing, all that shouting making said walkers follow him like a dinner. He pointed at Andrea and Patricia, stating his point even more. "They're the things that killed Amy! They killed Otis!" Well, are we sure about that last one? Because more I think about it, how Shane's behavior changed, I feel like he had a hand in that. Especially that apparently all the guns they took with them that night are accounted for. Just saying.

"Shane, shut up!"

"Hey, Hershel, man, let me ask you something." He took out his gun and pointed at Hershel's geek. "Could a living, breathing person, could they walk away from this?"  
He shot three times, Rick and Lori tried to tell him to stop, but he was relentless.

"That's three rounds to the chest! Could someone who's alive, could they just take that? Why is it still coming?" He shot another two rounds. "That's it's heart, it's lungs! Why is it still coming?"

"Shane enough!" Rick shouted again, both walkers going crazy, trying to break through and get to the man in front of them. 

"Hey, you're right, man. That is enough." He walked over and pressed the gun to the geek's head, blowing its brains out. Jeez, we're so getting kicked out. The body felt to the ground. Hershel was still holding onto the pole, so he went down to his knees as well. His face was a mixture of sadness and resignation. 

"Enough risking our lives for a little girl who's gone!" I tensed next to Carol, who sobbed quietly as he said it. "Enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us! Enough." He gripped his gun tighter and faced the sheriff.

"Rick, it ain't like it was before. Now, if y'all wanna live, if you wanna survive, you gotta fight for it! I'm talking about fighting, right here, right now!"  
He ran over to the barn and was using a pickaxe to bust the locks. Rick was screaming for Hershel to take the pole, but the older man was not responding. He looked like he was in shock, and I couldn't blame him. I think he started to realize that they aren't sick people. 

I looked at Rick and locked my eyes with his, my head slightly to the side. I rose my arm, Glock in hand, still looking at him. Waiting for his signal. He looked back at Hershel, but the man was just staring forward. Ricked looked at me again and nodded gently.   
I pulled the trigger just when Shane finally finished with the door and was backing away, reaching for his handgun. 

Stepping forward, I stopped next to Daryl, Andrea and T-Dog following as we all readied our weapons. It was chaotic and messy. While mine and Shane's shots were mainly in the head, others didn't necessarily finish them straight away. It was loud, the ringing of the shells, mixed in with the growls from the walkers. We were for sure wasting ammo, as one after other bodies stumbled out of the barn. 

When it was over, silence hit me. The only sounds coming out of Greene's family as they were crying. After all, we just shot their family and friends. I ran a hand through my hair and felt a hand on my shoulder. Daryl's silent way of asking if I'm alright. I couldn't smile, not after that, so I just nodded, and he dropped his arm.   
And then we heard another growl from the barn.

Slowly, almost gently, the last walker left the barn. She had a navy t-shirt and tan pants. Once white shoes were now all dirty and muddy. Prominent bite mark where the neck meets the shoulder.

She was slowly making her way around other bodies to get to us. Her glossy white eyes skipping over our faces. 

This same girl we searched for days, came out of this fucking barn, and my heart shattered. This isn't how it supposed to happen. We should find her safe maybe a little starved and scared, but alive. Of course, I knew after the first two days that it could be the possibility. But then I thought, if that happened, we would find her somewhere in the woods. Take care of her gently and quietly, so Carol doesn't have to see her daughter like that.

Oh, God, Carol. She was screaming Sophia's name, and only Daryl's quick reactions stopped her from throwing herself at now dead girl. He wrapped her in his arms, both of them falling to their knees. 

None of us moved or spoke, only short-haired woman's cries filling the air. Keeping my emotions locked and hidden deep inside me, I walked around them. Pulling my gun up again, I was ready to shoot when someone grabbed my wrist gently and pushed it down. 

Rick, he wanted to be the one. He needed to be the one to do this. His expression was hard to read, but I could tell that he had a lot of mixed emotions in him right now. 

He rose his Colt when Sophia was nearly in front of us, and finally pulled the trigger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks guys for reading this story! I'm happy that you enjoy it so far.  
> This chapter was fun to write, and I was debating for a while if I shouldn't save Sophia. But I think that without this death, Carol wouldn't be the woman she becomes later. So yeah, sorry to anyone who had hope, but this was necessary.  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it if so leave me comments to tell me your favorite part!


	16. Chapter 16

The last half an hour was crazy, that's for sure. Seeing Sophia walk out of that barn... it hit all of us, hard. Carol ran away after Rick put her daughter down, and I asked Daryl to go after her. Even if she didn't speak, it would be good if she had someone with her. 

Remember how I said that not all of the shots were headshots? Yeah, we found out very quickly which ones weren't, when Beth ran over to her mother. Who wasn't dead and tried to take a chunk out of the young woman. Luckily nothing happened. Guys pulled her away, and Glenn held the walker down while Andrea put a pickaxe through its head. 

But that's not the end of the drama, that would be too easy, right? When Greene's family moved towards the house, Shane just couldn't stop himself. Trying to push any blame away from himself. He accused them of knowing that the girl was in the barn all this time. 

They didn't, that's what they said, and I believe them. Hershel explained that today was the first time he was walking the geeks. Previously it was all done by Otis and Jimmy. After hearing it, my thoughts went in all sorts of directions, and I walked back to the bodies. 

So that's what I was doing, kneeling on the ground, next to a girl I nearly died for. Daryl and I both actually. I asked Andrea to give me a moment, and she went off to find something to wrap the bodies with. 

Sophia's skin was ashen, showing the signs of decomposition. She wasn't as dirty as I expected, her clothes were dusty, but that's it. I found a hole in her t-shirt, on the bottom, a perfect match for the one I found. Slowly pieces came together, as I understood how she ripped it. Her fingernails were dirty, but there was no blood there or around her mouth. A wound on her shoulder was deep, red droplets splattered around it.

There was no way of finding out what exactly happened. Not without Otis. But I knew for sure that she didn't feed, so she had to turn just before he found her. And I'm sure of that, because she didn't have any other bites, so she had to be already undead when she entered the barn. Otis had to do this before he went on his hunt. Looking at the wound, she bled out to death, one of her arteries being ripped. So Sophia survived a night, somewhere, but that was it. For the past four days, she was dead. Just like Shane said. 

I took one deep, shaky breath, trying to control my emotions. It was not time for me to cry. It was time to give strength and support to Carol and Hershel's family.   
Andrea came with a blanket, and together we wrapped Sophia's body in it.

"What were you doing?" She asked as we sat on the ground, waiting for the others.

"Checking how she died, how long it's been." My eyes didn't move from the ground as I whispered.

"And?"

"It doesn't matter anymore. We found her. We got closure." The blonde woman next to me hummed as a reply, and we both sat in silence, waiting for others to join us.

I walked over to the RV with Lori when we finished digging and collecting stones. Andrea supposed to get Hershel's family, and we went to tell Carol and Daryl that we're ready.

Carol was sitting down by the table, looking out of the window, while the man sat on a counter. Watching over her. 

"They're ready." Lori's voice was soft and comforting. I stood next to Dixon and nodded at him. Carol didn't say anything, didn't even glanced at us. She just shook her head and pressed her lips in a thin line. "Come on."

"Why?" Her face was free of tears, breathing steadily. She didn't cry anymore.

"Because that's your little girl." Daryl gently told her. 

Carol looked at him, eyebrows up, and she shook her head again. "That's not my little girl. It's some other thing" She looked down at her hands and swallowed hard.   
"My Sophia was alone in the woods. All this time, I thought--" Her eyes moved to the window again as she was talking. "She didn't cry herself to sleep. She didn't go hungry. She didn't try to find her way back."

Every word she spoke was painful because she was right. No matter how far we would search and for how long. Carol looked finally at me as she continued. "Sophia died a long time ago."

Lori silently left the RV, but I crouched down in front of a grieving mother and took her hand in mine. "Honey, I understand that you're hurt, but you'll regret not going."

She scowled at me and sharply pulled her hands out of mine. Her eyes got colder, and so was her voice. "You don't know how I feel! You didn't lose a child! So get your profiling and yourself out of here."

My face froze, and breath hitched in my throat. I stood up, back straight as I matched Carol's blue eyes. "You know nothing about me." I whispered and walked away. 

My heart was beating fast, tiredness and exhaustion were catching up to me. The emotional turmoil of the past few days, slowly reaching the surface. I stopped in the middle of a field, trying to get myself together before getting to the others. My lungs were burning again with every gulp of air I took.

"You're OK?" A raspy voice asked, somewhere next to me. I forgot Daryl fucking Dixon was behind me. That's the last thing I needed now. And he fucking heard my exchange with Carol.

"Yeah." I nodded and started walking again.

"What Carol said--" I spun around to face him.

"She's upset and hurt. And I don't want to talk about, alright?" My eyes were pleading, I can't talk about it. Not with him, because he's not ready for all of the hidden emotions inside me. And I am not prepared for him to know that side of me. Weak, broken, scared for her life. He bit his lip, hesitating for a moment before nodding. 

"What are you doing?" The funeral was finally over. It was different from Otis's. There were fewer words, more grief, and Hershel disappeared as soon as his wife and son were buried. I noticed Daryl moving his things, and when he started to take down his tent, I came over.

"Not ya business, woman." He didn't even turn away from his task. And hostility in his voice was strange. It's like Merle's back, and Daryl again doesn't trust anybody but his brother.

"Where are you going, Daryl?" I asked softly, suspicion in my gut killing me.

"What ya want?" He dropped a pole on the ground and turned to me. Blue eyes narrowed and piercing. He was angry, but I wasn't sure why exactly.

"To know that you're OK." He snorted, and his scowl deepened. 

"Ya didn't want to talk. Why should I? Or maybe ya want to talk about emotions, braid each other's hairs?" I rose my eyebrows at him.

"Your hair is a bit too short for that, Big Boy." He waved his hand at me and went back to packing up his tent.

"Just fuck off 'and leave me be."

"Is it about Sophia?"

"Don't! Why ya always have to be in my business?" His finger was pointing at me, and he started pacing. "Ya always fuckin' around me, followin' me like a lost puppy. Well, princess, I ain't that guy. So get lost."

"Daryl, you're upset. But we all tried to find her--"

"I nearly died!" He yelled at me, his face only inches apart, eyes burning with anger. "And for what? She was dead all this time."

I started to get frustrated, as well. "You weren't the only one who was fucking looking for her." I growled in his face, shoving him a little. "And you know what? You aren't the only one who nearly fucking died for her. Asked T, he will tell you how fun it was when I nearly drowned."

My voice was getting hoarse again, and I fought the urge to cough. "So fuck you, Daryl. Stop making it about yourself! And if you think that you're the only one who cared, then we have nothing left to talk about."

I walked into the house with a single purpose. I had to get my lungs checked and ask about after-effects. Because for sure, I didn't feel well. House was surprisingly loud, and I followed the noises to one of the bedrooms.

"What's going on?" There were a few people in the room, and they all looked at me when I spoke.

"We think Hershel went to town. Glenn and I going to get him." Rick replied, and Lori added quickly.

"Beth's in shock; we need him."

I nodded at that. "I'll go with you, just give me a minute." 

"You don't have to, Elena." 

"Yeah, well, I want to." I walked away, going to my tent to change. Daryl's things were already gone, and I shook in anger. It doesn't matter, I told myself and put on a fresh set of clothes. I had blue denim pants and a black sleeveless top. The rains got strapped over my chest, and I pulled a green flannel over it. Machete went to its spot on my belt, and so did Glock. Finally, I grabbed my backpack and made my way to the cars.

The men were already waiting for me, so I quickly got into the back seat, and we took off. It was probably one of the most uncomfortable rides in my life. Rick was stressed, that was clear. I mean, we didn't get a break for days, just lost a little girl, and now we are on a fucking rescue mission.   
Glenn, on the other hand, looked utterly lost in his thoughts and scared. Why is he afraid? He went to that town already twice and said so himself that it's practically clear of walkers. 

The only thing I needed was a bed, two weeks of sleep, and for Daryl Dixon to stop annoying me so much. 

"Carl saw your fight today." Rick's voice was quiet, and when I looked up, I noticed he was glancing at me in the rear mirror. 

"I feel like I'm trapped back in a fucking high school with the constant gossip flow in this group." My voice was monotone as I replied. "Like, seriously, the world ended. We fight to survive, and still, the news of a day is a fight I had with Dixon?"

Both men chuckled a little at that, and sheriff nodded. "Didn't you tell me that you have to approach him gently?"

"Oh, shut up." I bit my lower lip and looked out the window. "He was the only one who truly believed that we'll find Sophia. I mean, even you had your doubts. I hoped we will find her, but I was prepared for the possibility that she won't be alive when we will. Even Carol was losing hope. She told me herself. But not Daryl. He was so sure, you know?" 

Glenn was looking sad, and Rick was stroking his chin, deep in thoughts. "And he feels like he failed. The first time he cares for someone other than Merle, and he failed. I can talk to him, I can listen or try to lighten the mood, I'm good at that. But I won't stand for him telling me he was the only one who tried or cared."

"I just don't want any more rifts in this group, Elena. We've been through so much in such a short time. We need to stick together."  
I nodded at that. I know Rick's right, but that doesn't change the fact that Daryl needs to get down of his high horse and fucking apologize. Glenn was still quiet and was stirring in his seat. 

"What's wrong with you?" I asked him, hoping that he'll stop.

He glanced at me and swallowed hard before speaking. "Maggie says she loves me."

"Whoa! That's great!

"She doesn't mean it." I exchanged a look with Rick. Alrighty, this isn't how you should react to that type of declaration. "I mean, she can't. You know what? She's upset. Confused."

Rick was nodding his head, listening to the young man's rambling, and I leaned forward a little. "And she probably feeling like that she's feeling--"

"I think she's smart enough to know what she's feeling." Thank you, Rick, for a second longer, and I'd smack Glenn in his head.

"No."

"Yes, Glenn." I added, poking him in the arm. "If she wouldn't mean it, she wouldn't fucking say it."

"No. You know she, she wants to be in love. So she needs something to-- to like hold on to--" 

This time my hand landed on the back of his head. "It's not about her, is it Glenn? It's you. You feel like you don't deserve it. Stop whining and be happy for fuck's sake."

"Glenn, it's pretty obvious to everyone Maggie loves you, and not just because you're one of the last men standing." Rick said, his voice confident. Almost like a fatherly figure.

"I didn't say it back." Glenn licked his lips nervously and looked at us both. I just chuckled, while Rick sighed under his nose.

"Well, you're fucked. Better start preparing apology, mister."

"I've never had a woman say that to me before, you know, except my mum, of course, and-- and my sisters." I ran a hand over my face and tried to stop myself from laughing. Unbelievable. "But with Maggie, it's different. I mean, what-- we barely know each other. What, what does she really know about me? Nothing. We're practically strangers. I mean, I, I, I don't know what to do with it. I just stood there like a jerk."

"Glenn, it doesn't matter how long you know someone. Love is something you have to take care of. It's in your words and your gestures. It's something you learn how to do with that other person." I told him and couldn't help but think about certain redneck. I didn't love him, not yet at least. But I knew that the longer we're in each other's company harder it will be to stop it from happening. 

"Hey, this is a good thing." Rick nodded as he said it. He smiled at the young man and continued. "It's something we don't get enough of these days. Enjoy it. And when we get back, return the favor. It's not like she's going anywhere."

"And get flowers, anything. And remember to tell her how stupid you are." We all laughed a little bit when Rick finally pulled over next to the abandoned bar. 

"Rick, I know about Lori, her being pregnant. I gave her those pills." Glenn told sheriff before we got a chance to leave the car. Wait--

"WHAT?!"

"I figured."  
They both basically ignored me and left the vehicle, making me quickly follow them. Lori's fucking pregnant. How stupid can you be to let someone fuck you without protection? Oh my God, childbirth was hard before, but now it's just dangerous. Not to mention that a screaming baby can attract walkers. OK, that was harsh of me. But that's also the truth, getting pregnant in a zombie apocalypse, isn't a good idea.

"I'm sorry I kept it from you."

"Don't be. You did what you thought was right. Just so happens, it wasn't."

"Em... I'm still in the stage of WHAT?" I said to them, and Rick just shook his head. Right, not the time to talk about that.

"Hershel," Rick called over to the older man who was sitting by the bar. We all walked in, and I closed the door behind me. 

"Who's with you?" He was already quite drunk, by the sound of his voice. I guess not drinking for over twenty years does that to you.

"Elena and Glenn."

"Maggie sent them?"

"They volunteered. They're good like that." Yeah, one day, it'll probably get me killed. Hershel didn't move from his spot, not facing us at all. We slowly approached him, and I sat down on one of the stools next to him. 

"How many you had?" I asked him as I poured myself a drink.

"Not enough."

"Let's finish this back at home." Rick said, leaning on the other side of the older man. "Beth collapsed, is in some sort of state. Must be in shock. I, I think you're too." He glanced at me, looking for confirmation and I nodded my head. Yeah, reality hit Hershel hard enough to go back to his old friend.

"Maggie's with her?"

"Right now, I think she needs her dad more than her." I said softly, making him look at me.

"And what could I do?"

"Well, for one, you're the only one with access to the meds. And she just lost one parent, she can't lose you too."

"Exactly. She needs her mother, or rather to mourn like she should have done weeks ago. I robbed her of that."  
I sighed at that and exchanged a look with Rick.

"You thought there was a cure." The sheriff spoke again. "Can't blame yourself for holding out for hope."

"Hope?" Hershel smiled, but it was grim, almost mocking, and he glanced back at Rick. "When I first saw you running across my field with your boy in your arms, I had a little hope he'd survive."

"But he did."

"He did. Even though we lost Otis, your man, Shane, made it back. And we saved your boy. That was the miracle that proved to me, miracles do exist." Hershel shook his head and looked over at me. "Only it was a sham, a bait-and-switch. I was a fool. And you people saw that. My daughters deserve better than that."

Rick went over to Glenn, and they both stood next to the door, talking about what to do.  
"You're right," I said, pouring myself another shot. "They deserve a father who won't give up. The one who will be there for them, even when the world goes to shit."

"Look, just go!"

"I promised Maggie I'd bring you home safe," Rick replied to that, turning around to us.

"Like you promised that little girl?" I clenched my jaw at that and swallowed the bitter liquid. For a second, here, worrying about this old man, I forgot what happened just hours ago.

"So, what's your plan? Finish that bottle? Drink yourself to death and leave your girls alone?" Well, I guess Rick was tired of that bullshit as well.  
Hershel stood up abruptly and walked over to the sheriff. "All right, stop telling me how to care for my family, my farm. You people are like a plague! I do the Christian thing, give you shelter. And you destroyed it all." His face was twisted in anger, and his voice was full of venom.

"Oh, yeah." I started turning in my seat, making the old man look at me. "A true Christian. Just in last hour, you committed at least four cardinal sins." I lifted my hand and started counting on my fingers. "Gluttony, of course. Sloth, by neglecting your daughters in the times of need. Wrath, by getting unnecessarily angry. And as always, my favorite, pride."  
They all looked at me in shock, and I just shrugged my shoulders. "What? Only because I curse, a lot doesn't mean I don't know the bible." Hershel sat back down, looking lost and defeated.

"Come on, your girls need you now, more than ever." Rick tried one more time and grabbed the man's arm, but Hershel quickly shook it off. 

"I didn't want to believe you. You told me there was no cure that these people were dead, not sick. I chose not to believe that. But when Shane shot Lou in the chest, and she just kept coming. That's when I knew what an ass I'd been. That Annette had been dead long ago. And I was feeding her rotten corpse. That's when I knew there was no hope. And when that little girl came out of the barn, the look your face, I knew you knew it too. Both of you. That there is no hope." He pointed between Rick and me. I shook my head.

"No, Hershel. The truth is, I lost my hope and my beliefs a long time ago. Way before all that infection happened." I said in a whisper. "Because the world always was shitty. There was always a murder, diseases, cancer. Nothing really changed. Except, I'm less scared. Do you wanna know why?" I looked up and saw that all of them were glancing at me. "Because walking dead are less scary than a psychopath who's willing to murder your entire family. Not to survive. Not for food, not because that's all their programmed to do. But because it's fucking fun. So those shits there?" I pointed at the door. "Trust me, way less scary than a lot of people I've met."

"People are waiting for us at home." Rick added, nodding in my direction. "And they need us even if it's just to give them a reason to go on. Even if we don't believe it ourselves." He started pacing and stroking his chin in deep thought. "You know what? This isn't about what we believe anymore. It's about them."

Hershel looked between us again and seemed to be deep in thoughts. Finally, he drank the rest of his drink and put the glass away. Standing from his chair. Oh, goodie, I might finally get some sleep. And a check-up I was trying to get. But before we could actually get a move on, there was a loud noise of doors being open, and two men entered the bar.

"Glenn, you're really shitty lookout." I commented and rested my hand on a gun.

"Son of a bitch. They're alive."


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thanks for all the reads so far. I hope you enjoy the story. If you do please comment and let me know what you think!  
> Cheers :)

One of the guys, who seemed to be the leader, sat down on the nearest table, and the other took a stool next to me. They made mu uneasy and on edge, especially the fat one. He looked at me as I was some kind of price. His beady eyes staying for longer on my chest area than I'd like. Rick poured all of us a drink, except for Hershel, who already had more than enough. The sun was slowly setting down, causing the room to cast shadows on the walls, making all of that worse.

"I'm Dave," The man sitting by the table spoke and then pointed at his friend. "The scrawny looking douche bag there is Tony."

"Eat me, Dave."

"Hey, maybe someday, I will. We met on I-95 coming out of Philly. Damn shit show that was."

"I'm Glenn." The Asian man was smiling and leaning against the bar. Sweet, innocent Glenn, he didn't see what I did when I looked at these guys. "It's nice to meet some new people."

"Rick Grimes. And that's Elena." I rose my glass when the sheriff filled it up, but I was still observing them. 

"How about you, pal? Have one?" Dave asked Hershel.

"I just quit."

"You got a unique sense of timing, my friend."

"His name's Hershel. He lost people today, a lot of them," Rick answered for the older man, and I was happy that he was leading this conversation. Dave's face fell, and he nodded at Hershel.

"I'm truly sorry to hear that. To better days and new friends. And to our dead, may they be in a better place." We all lifted our glasses and then drank. I already had two, so I just sipped a little bit of it. With these unknown people, better to stay as sober as possible. 

Dave leaned in his chair to put away his glass, and I noticed the gun tucked at the back of his pants. Force issued Glock. He saw mine and Rick's looks and took it out, showing it to us.

"Not bad, huh? I got it off a cop."

"We are cops." Rick pointed between himself and me. Well, close enough, I guess. 

"This one was already dead.

"You're a long way from Philadelphia, boys. You've been on the road all this time?" I asked them watching mainly Dave. He was definitely the man here. 

"Feels like we're a long way from anywhere. First, there was DC. I heard there might be some kind of refugee camp." He shook his head and chuckled at that. Yeah, I knew that there was probably nothing left in DC. "The roads were so jammed, we never even got close. We decided to get off the highways, into the sticks, keep hauling ass. Every group we came across had a new rumor about a way out of this thing."

"One guy told us there was a Coast Guard sent down the Gulf, sending ferries to the islands." Added Tony. 

"The latest was a rail yard, running trains to the middle of the country-- Kansas, Nebraska."

"Nebraska?" Glenn asked, curious.

"Low population, lots of guns."

"It kinda makes sense."

"Ever been to Nebraska, kid?" Dave asked the Korean man. "The reason they call them flower states." We all laughed at that, but it was a little forced, tension still high in the room. I watched these two guys exchange a quick glance, and made sure to steady my breathing. Yeah, they weren't sketchy at all. 

"How about you, guys?"

"Fort Benning, eventually."

"I hate to piss in your cornflakes, officer, but, um, we ran across a grunt who was stationed at Benning. Said the place was overrun by lame brains." Glenn's eyes widened in shock, and Rick looked over at me. I just shrugged and mumbled quiet, 'I told you so.' 

"Wait, Fort Benning is gone?" Glenn asked and ran a hand over his face. "Are you for real?"

"Mm, sadly, I am. Well, ugly truth is there is no way out of this mess. Just keep going from one pipe dream to the next, praying one of these mindless freaks doesn't grab hold of you when you sleep."

"If you sleep."

"Yeah, it doesn't look like you guys are hanging your hats here," Dave said casually, looking at our faces. Oh, I had to give him that; he was smooth, typical charmer and manipulator. "You, you holed up somewhere else?"

"Not really," Ricked answered after a second.

"Those your cars out front?"

"Yeah," Glenn confirmed, and I wanted to kick him. "Why?"

"Well, we're living out of ours. Those look, uh, kind of empty, clean. Where's all your gear?" 

I cleared my throat and smiled at him, hoping it looked genuine. "We're out scavenging, rest of our group are holed up a few miles away." Then I shrugged and took another sip of alcohol. "You know how it is, no point risking all your people at once."

"Well, we're thinking of setting up around here. Is it, is it safe?" No, you fucking won't. They were fishing for information, and the way Glenn just gives them all of it was driving me crazy. Speaking of.

"It can be. Uh, although I've killed a couple Walkers around here."

"Walkers? That what you call them? I like that. I like that better than lame brains."

"More succinct."

"OK. Tony went to college."

"Two years."

Dave smiled and then looked carefully at our faces again, stoping at me for a second. "So what? You guys set up on the outskirts or something? A new development?"

"Nah." I fake giggled and looked at him from under my lashes. "That would be a nice change. We got a few RV's in the woods."  
Tony, the fat guy, moved to the other side of the bar and started undoing his belt. Ugh, disgusting. 

"Is it safe? It's got to be," He asked while doing his business in the corner.

"You got food, water?"

"Only what we can find, or hunt and the water comes from the creek, nothing fancy," I answered again, trying to ignore the man taking a piss in the corner, and looking directly at Dave. 

"You got cooze? I haven't had a piece of ass in weeks." My eyebrows rose up, and frown replaced my smile. So they are that kind of men.

"Uh, listen, pardon my friend." Dave tried to save the situation. "City kids, they got no tact. No disrespect." The last part was directed at me, and I nodded in acknowledgment. But I knew that I won't feel safe until they're gone or even better, dead. "So listen--"

"We've said enough." Rick stopped the man from asking any more questions. Even though I lied my ass off, we didn't want to continue this conversation. And for sure, we won't invite them over. 

"Well, hang on a second. Your set up sounds pretty sweet. Don't it sound sweet, Tony?"

"Yeah, real sweet."

"Yeah, how about a little southern hospitality? We got some bodies back at camp, been having a real hard time. I don't see why you can't make room for a few more."

"Well, mainly because we not staying around here. We're moving along in a couple of days." I told him, my voice a little bit sterner than before.

"And why can't we join forces? We could pool our resources and manpower."

"Oh, Dave. Didn't you just said that you want to settle down in here?" He smiled at that and nodded. Yeah, two can play that game. 

"Come on, you for sure can make space for a few more people. It's safer together."

"Sorry, no can do, sugar." My eyes hardened, and I really didn't like how he was pushing the subject.

"This is bullshit!" Tony finally said, voice louder than before, and his face went all red. 

"Calm down," Rick told him, in his sheriff's voice.

"Don't tell me to calm down. Don't ever tell me to calm down. I'll shoot you assholes in the head, and take your damn RV's." Both Rick and I stood up, my hand on a holster, silently opening it up, ready to pull. 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, relax." Dave also stood up, and now tried to calm us all down. "Take it easy. Nobody's killing anybody. Right, Rick?" He climbed over the counter and landed on the other side of a bar. Rick turned to him, but I didn't stop watching Tony. 

Dave put his gun on the surface in front of him. "Look, uh, we're just friends having a drink. Now, where's the good stuff?" When he bent down behind the counter, Rick and I were immediately ready to take our guns out, but he just pulled out a bottle of whiskey. "Hey, look at that. That'll work."

"You got to understand." He continued as he poured himself another drink. Tony's hand was still behind his back, holding to the but of his rifle, looking me up and down. "We can't stay out there. Well, you know what it's like."

"Yeah, I do." Rick nodded, but his voice was stern. "But our camp is too crowded as it is. And like Elena said, we're leaving soon. I'm sorry. You'll have to keep looking." I was so happy that he was smart enough to play along with my lie. And that both Hershel and Glenn just kept their mouths shut.

"Keep looking." I could hear Dave take a deep breath, and his tone of voice changed. I watched Tony, who looked at his companion, giving him a small, barely visible nod. Well, shame for you, boys, that I saw that. Shit was about to hit the fan. "Where do you suggest we do that?"

There was no point in delaying it, so I was the one who answered. "Who cares. I heard Nebraska's nice." 

"Nebraska." Dave chuckled darkly to himself. "Oh, girl."

It took just a split second before I heard a movement behind me. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Rick reach for his gun. That was my clue. Tony was stretching to spin his rifle to the front when the first shot echoed through the air. Unfortunately for him, I was quicker than him, already facing him. I yanked the Glock out of the holder and squizzed the trigger twice. One to the heart, the other straight between his eyes. Sending him to the wall, Tony's body slowly dripping blood and leaving a red trail when he slipped to the floor. I spun around, to see that Rick was still standing, gun in his hand, and I could only see bloody splatter on a mirror behind the bar. Good. Sheriff locked his eyes with mine, and I nodded, to show him I was alright. 

I walked quickly to the fat guy, kicking the rifle away from him, I searched his pockets with disgust and found two shells for his gun. I grabbed it and the weapon, looking over at Hershel and Glenn. Yep, if they didn't think I was dangerous before, they knew it now. 

The sun was gone, any light now coming from the moon. We all stood there for a second before Glenn spoke.

"Holy shit."

"You alright?" Rick asked him.

"Yeah."

"Hershel?" The older man just looked between bodies and nodded lightly.

"Elena?" 

"I'm good, but we need to get a move on. We don't know if they were alone."

"And it could attract walkers," Glenn added, and I smiled at him. I could see that all this ordeal made him scared, but he tried to stay strong and not show weakness.   
We started to move towards the entrance when we saw flickering lights and the sound of an engine.

"Car, get down!" Rick whispered, and we all took cover along the front wall. 

"Fuck, I knew it'd happen," I commented and ran a hand over my face. I was crouching next to Rick, and on the other side of the door were the other two men. They all looked nervous, and I gripped my handgun tighter. All of us waiting silently for any sign of the new intruders. 

I could hear car doors being open and footsteps on the road. "Dave?" Someone said, calling out. Sorry to tell you, buddy, but your friends are dead, so move along nicely. If only that could work. 

"Is it over here?" Another voice asked, so there were at least two of them. If it comes to it, we could easily take them, but hopefully, we could avoid it. 

"I'm telling you, man, I heard shots."

"I saw roamers, so there might be more around."

"It was hot, we gotta get out of here." Fuck, so there were three of them. We still had an advantage, but I wasn't sure if Hershel and Glenn would be able to kill another living person. 

They were still shouting for their friends, and they moved towards the bar doors.  
"Shut up! Do you want to attract them?" I made sure to steady my breathing and silently put one knee onto the floor, shifting into a more comfortable position. It would also be easier to shoot and get up in case we need to run. "Just stick close. We're gonna find them."

I could see their shadows, through the curtains on the windows, and we all looked at each other. My eyes meeting Glenn's, and I put a finger to my mouth, making sure that he won't make a sound. He nodded, but even in the dark, I could see his chest rising rapidly and sweat covering his forehead.   
The footsteps moved along, and after a second, I reached out. Touching the fabric away, on a nearby window, I took a peek.

"Clear," My voice was a low, barely hearable whisper. Other men did the same and also nodded. Rick moved across to them, but I stayed in my spot. It wasn't over yet. Their cars still parked outside, so they were probably checking the perimeter or other buildings. I was looking at the windows, ready to say when they'd return, while Rick was talking to Hershel and Glenn.

"Why won't they leave?" The young man asked. 

"Would you?" Good point, Hershel. I wouldn't. I would check every building properly, for any signs of my friends. 

"We can't sit here any longer," Rick said. "Let's head out the back and make a run to the car."

"No time, they back," I whisper-yelled and ducked down, as I saw three figures approaching. Rick quickly return to my side, and others returned to their place by the wall. We all sat still, listening to those strangers.

"What happened?"

"Roamers. I nailed them."

"They disappeared, but their car is still there."

"I cleared those buildings. You guys get this one?"

"Nope."

"We're looking for Dave and Tony, and no one checks the damn bar?" Fuck, they were moving at a quick pace to the doors. I shifted a little and rose my hands, pointing at the door, ready to shoot if they'll come through, Rick doing precisely this same. 

Before anything could happen, Glenn launched himself in front of the doors, shutting them. But the damage was done. Whoever was on the other side, opened them slightly before Glenn shoved it in their face. They know we're here. I shook my head and send a glare at the young man.

"Someone pushed that shut! There's someone in there," One of them whispered.

"Yo, is someone in there?" Fuck, I was searching my mind for a believable lie, the one which would allow all of us the get out of here in one peace. Without a big gunfight. "If someone's in there, we don't want no trouble. We just looking for our friends." 

If we tell them they're dead, they'll start shooting. If we say that Dave and Tony are not here, they'll ask to check it out. If I speak... The way Tony was looking at me. I can only assume that his friends are this same, so that option is no good either. They'd try to come in simply because I'm a woman. 

"They drew on us." Rick's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I shook my head in disbelief. We're fucked, no way of avoiding it now. I could see Hershel's glare, as he also wasn't happy with that. 

"Dave and Tony in there? They alive?" The voice asked.  
Rick clenched his jaw and took a big breath. Maybe I still could salvage it.

"I'm sorry. They wanted to take something they couldn't have, you know what I mean? We had no choice," My voice was clear and confident, but my heart was beating way too fast. I still had my gun pointed at the door, waiting at their reaction.

"Killed Dave and Tony."

"Come on, man, let's go."

"No. I'm not leaving." For fuck sake, why not? "I'm not going back and tell Jay that Dave and Tony got shot by some bitch in a bar."

"They tried to rape me when they thought I was by myself," I yelled at them, thinking quickly. "We had no choice. Just leave. You don't want to do this! There are more of us than you--" Before I could finish, they started shooting at the door and windows. We all got down, covering our heads, to avoid the broken shards. 

"Get out here," Rick shouted at Glenn and Hershel. Two of us stood up, and we were shooting through the broken windows. "Go, Elena!" 

I ducked down and started running across to the other men when one of the bullets from those guys hit my side. I swayed to the right and quickly pushed the table, so I could use it as a cover.

"Fuck!" I groaned and looked down. It just grazed my ribs, perfectly between the staps of my reins. When the shooting stopped, I got up and ran towards the wall hiding behind it, and got to work.

"Elena?" 

"It's just a graze. Better think how we gonna get out of here." I took off my pack and shirt and unclasped the reins, so my knives swang loosely in their holders. I twisted the flannel and tied it around my ribs tightly. I clenched my jaw as a wave of pain came over my body.

"Hey!" Rick yelled, trying to buy us some time. "We all know this is not gonna end well. There's nothing in it for any of us. You guys just-- just back off." 

I adjusted the straps of my reins a little and clipped them back together. That way, it'll keep my shirt in one place and also will help to keep the pressure on the wound. 

Glenn and Rick exchanged looks, and the younger man ran to the back door, the one in front of me. I was happy with my temporary bandages, so I took a deep breath and raising my gun, I followed him quietly. I put my hand on his arm, he jumped slightly, but relaxed after seeing it's just me.   
We climbed down the wooden stairs, old rotten shit, which was way louder than I'd like. We were in some sort of cellar, barrels of old beer stocked around, with other bottles lying all around. 

"Shit!" We could hear the voice from the outside, and just a moment later, two shadows were cast on the windows of a back door. I moved to the right, so I was somewhat hidden behind one of the barrels. I thought Glenn was going to follow me, but he panicked and shot his shotgun straight at the door. 

"Glenn!" Rick yelled from behind us.

"Get down, idiot!" I told the Asian man, and he quickly ran to the wall next to the door to take cover. 

"I'm alright."  
After a few moments, Hershel came into the cellar, with my backpack in his hands. He passed it to me and started explaining the plan. 

"Glenn, Rick wants you to try for the car." I took my pack from the older man's hands and grabbed two bottles of whiskey from the nearest shelf. I turned around, and Hershel was glaring at me. 

"Is it really time?"

"Meet my friends. Mr. Disinfecate and Mr. Painkiller," I said dryly and stashed both bottles inside the pack and swang in onto my shoulders. I winced in pain when I lifted my hands, but for now, I had to live with it. 

"You and I will cover Glenn." I nodded at that and ejected magazine to check how many bullets I have left. "I have nine and one in the chamber."

"This is a great plan," Glenn commented, sarcastically. 

"You're the fastest. Plus, we'll cover you. Go!" I told him and urged the man to the door. I pushed them open and peeked to see if anyone's waiting for us. "Clear, go now!"

Glenn slowly started to make his way towards the car. I was checking his side, and Hershel was covering our backs. When the Korean man was nearly by the corner, shots sounded from behind me. I quickly ducked and spun around to see that Hershel shot down one of the guys. He was lying on the ground with blood pouring from his chest, moaning in pain. 

"Glenn?" I turned back to him, but all I could see was his legs, from behind the dumpster.

"What happened?" Rick came running to us, alerted by the shots.

"He fired," Hershel explained. "He must've hit Glenn."

"No." I shook my head. "I didn't see him go down after the shots."

"But it doesn't look like he's moving."   
Rick walked out and started to move along the wall to get to Glenn. Guns in both hands, with Hershel and me still by the doors, looking out for the other two guys. 

"Are you hit?"

"No." Came soft whisper and I released my breath, I didn't even realize I was holding it. He was OK. 

Rick ducked next to him, and we couldn't see them anymore. What I could see though were two walkers making their way to the guy on the ground. When they reached him, they started to feed on his face and insides, slowly ripping and bitting his body. I swallowed at that, nobody deserves that. I could see Hershel's face and could tell he was thinking this same. 

Before I could do anything, another shot rang through the air, hitting the dumpster, and I saw a young guy on the roof across the street. I took aim and fired a couple of times, but he got down, avoiding my bullets. A car pulled next to that shop, and someone shouted.

"Let's get out of here. Roamers all over the place. Hurry up."

"What about Sean?" 

"They shot him. We gotta go!"

"We're leaving?"

"Just jump!" The guy jumped and landed on the narrow roof of a nearby building, but he didn't land well. Instead, he rolled down a few times, and I could see him fall. A second later screams of pain echoed in the night, and the car took off not waiting any longer. 

"Help me!" The boy was screaming, but it was our chance.

"Guys, we gotta go!" I yelled at Rick and stood up, walking to the dumpster. Not answering, sheriff ran past me towards the guy, and I clenched my jaw. For fuck sake.   
More geeks started to come from around the corner, but Glenn took them down.

"Hershel!" I waved at him, and we all run towards our car.

"The gunfire must've attracted the walkers. Where's Rick?"

"He ran to the boy." 

"Well, hell, we can't go without him." I groaned and hurried after them. Why can't we just go home? To a nice hot shower and bed?

"Rick! We have to go now." Hershel told him when we reached him. I looked around and saw the kid. He was lying on a dumpster, his leg impaled on a metal fence. Ouch. He was moaning in pain, and I couldn't blame him, I'd do too. 

"I'm sorry, son. We have to go." Hershel spoke softly to the boy, and he just cried more.

"No! Please. Don't leave me."

"Rick, we have to move! Walkers are coming." I grabbed his arm, making him look at me. He was torn, that's what I saw on his face. Yes, kid's friends just shot at us. But it was a boy, and we wanted to leave him for walkers. 

"We can't!"

"He was just shooting at us." Glenn pointed at the dumpster.

"He's a kid!"

"Please, help me."

"This place is crawling with walkers."

"We can't leave him!"

"Rick, fucking hell!" I spun around in frustration and noticed more walkers coming at us. "OK, you sort it, I got your back, give me your spare." 

With a gun in each hand, I stood in the middle of a road, between them and our car. I don't have the patience for it, I'd probably kill the kid myself just so we could go. I could see corpses coming from both sides, not a huge amount, but how much ammo are we willing to spare? I pulled the trigger of my Glock, as I took two walkers on the right. I could hear shotgun pumping next to me, Glenn. I nodded at him and looked over to Rick. They were trying to think about how to get the kid out. That's when I noticed walkers slowly moving towards Rick, from the alleyway. 

"Rick!" He turned to look at me. "Walkers, just yank his leg out!" I shot another three geeks, which got too close to my liking. A chilling scream pierced my ears, and I saw that sheriff did what I said. "Glenn, start the car."

Rick and Hershel were slowly dragging the boy towards the car.

"His leg needs to be elevated!" I huffed under my breath at that and shot walkers, which were too close, then opened the back door. I took my pack off and threw it under the seats, then jumped in and scooted over to the other side, for sure, I'll regret it. Rick pushed the boy inside and laid his head on my lap; Hershel lifted the kid's legs and sat down himself. 

I looked down at the boy. He was pale and sweaty, but most importantly, unconscious. Good. Still, it would be better if he was blindfolded, in case he wakes up.   
Rick got to the front seat, and Glenn pressed on gas instantly, maneuvering around the walkers. 

"Do we have any rag?" I asked, my voice tired, now that I sat down, everything that happened today hit me hard. Rick stretched his hand and handed me peace of red rag. It was one which he and Shane were using to mark their grid. I sighed, my shoulders dropped down. Now, when the adrenaline started to fade, I began to feel that I was shot. My left side was throbbing in pain even if I didn't move.

I wrapped the fabric around the kid's eyes, watching Hershel pressing on a wound. I guess my check-up will have to wait. 

"Are you OK?" He asked me, looking at the shirt around my ribs. It was red with blood.

"Yeah. It stopped bleeding. I can feel it. It's just a graze, I'll take care of it myself."

"You won't reach it properly, Beth'll help you."

"No!" I answered a bit too quickly, and he furrowed his brows. I cleared my throat and leaned my head on a window. The cold glass felt incredibly pleasant against my skin. "I'm sorry. What I meant was, you'll need all the help."

"But, so do you."

"I'll ask Daryl."

"I thought you had a fight." Spoke Glenn from the front. I was way too tired for that shit.

"And I bet he'll feel like shit about it when he sees that I'm hurt. Can we like, not talk about it?" 

The rest of the journey was quiet, I watched trees, and the sky, it looked beautiful, the sun slowly rising. Seeing it made me realize that we've been gone a whole night. It was another day in this shit world. Another day has gone by, exhausting, both physically and mentally, and I really hoped that today we'll catch some break.


	18. Chapter 18

** Day 56 **

My side was pulsating with pain, and I was clenching my jaw so hard I was surprised it didn't pop yet. My breathing was steady, the issue with my lungs suddenly overtaken by something more significant. The kid's head was on my lap, while Hershel was putting pressure on his wound. 

Luckily we were finally back at the farm, and Rick pulled to a stop almost next to the porch of a house. I saw a majority of our group there, surrounding another car, ready to leave. A rescue mission, perhaps.

The guys left the car, and I could see Rick hug Lori, and how Maggie basically skipped her father, throwing herself at Glenn. He didn't hug her back, just pushed her away. For fuck sake, what did I tell you, man?

"Patricia, prepare the shed for surgery," Hershel told the woman and walked into the house.

"Who the hell is that?" T-Dog asked as he walked over to open the door for me.

"That's Randall," Glenn answered.

"Yeah, great, so fucking happy with the introductions. Can someone take him away from me, though?" I yelled at them from the back seat. My side was killing me, and the kid's head was making my leg go numb.

When Rick and Shane finally lifted the unconscious body from me, I opened the door and sputtered out of the car. 

"You alright?" T-Dog asked me, and I just gave him a quick nod, looking around at the faces in front of me. 

"Maggie, Dixon. Come with me." Without checking if they actually listen or not, I made my way to the house, to the bedroom, Carl was occupying while he was shot. The brown-haired woman was quick behind me, and I asked her to bring me fresh bandages, antiseptic cream, and stitch kit. I know Hershel would tell Patricia to leave some for me before she takes the rest to the shed. 

"Ya alright?" Daryl stood in the door, biting on his thumb and looking me over. I finally lifted a hand from the wound on my side and grimaced at the fresh blood that covered my hand.

"Just peachy. Nice vest." I reached for my pack and took out one of the bottles I got at the bar. Maggie came back moments later and set everything on the metal tray next to the bed.

"Thank you, Maggie. Go back to your father, he might need you more." I told her softly, and she looked at me and then at my side with wide eyes.

"But what about--"

"That's why Dixon is here." She looked me in the eyes for second and then nodded sharply and left the room. I looked up, seeing that Daryl still didn't move from his spot. "I need you to stitch me up. Please. It's in an annoying place, and I can't do it myself."

He hesitated before quietly closing the door but still not moving any closer to me. "Why me?"

I sighed and stood up slowly. "Because I trust you. And I also believe that you'll not comment, pry or show any signs of pity." Hunter furrowed his brows at what I said. OK, so I have to show you first. 

With another deep breath, I untied the shirt, that was around me. I clipped the reins and slowly took them off, carefully putting them on the floor. I used my right hand to get me out of the ripped top, while the other still was pressing the wound. Daryl could see my chest now, covered in a worn black bra, and that made him blush. But as I slowly started peeling the fabric from the bullet wound, he noticed what I was talking about. 

I was watching him, for any kind of reaction, as his eyes traveled over my scarred stomach. Four long, ragged lines covered almost entirely my lower abdomen. He swallowed thickly, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down before he finally looked me in the eye. And I wanted to cry because for the first time since I got them I didn't see pity in person who saw them. Just an understanding. So I nodded and sat down on the edge of a bed. 

He went over to the bowl filled with water, and I noticed that he already washed his hands. He would help me either way, and that made me feel slightly better. Especially after our argument. 

"That will hurt," He said in his usual gravely voice, and I smiled at him. 

"That's why I have this. Some to clean the wound, some for the pain." I lifted the bottle with a golden liquid and took a few big gulps. The alcohol burned my throat and spread warm feeling all the way to my stomach. 

Daryl worked on cleaning my side with fresh water, and I giggled a little when his fingers touched my ribs. He tensed for a second and send me a questioning look.

"I'm ticklish."

"Sorry." It's funny how just a few days ago I was the one taking care of him, and now he was here, next to me.

"So, how did that happened?" Play it cool, El. He's asking about tonight, not about  _ that _ . 

"We found Hershel, and when we were about to leave, some guys rolled into the bar." I shrugged and looked ahead. Memories of last night were still fresh in my mind. "Friendly at the beginning. But then they were pressing on about inviting them and their group to stay with us. Fishing for information. I lied about where we were. But still, fuckers drew on us. Rick killed one I did the other." 

I could feel his eyes burning holes in the side of my head, but I didn't dare to move. Would he judge me? Yeah, it was self-defense, I didn't do it for fun. I could just hope that he'd understand. I took another sip of whiskey, and then he reached for the bottle. 

"Ready?" 

"Give me a second." I stood up, making him step back, and I pulled my machete out and placed it on the floor. I quickly worked my belt and pulled it through the hoops of my pants. I sat back down and bit down on a worn-out leather. He made me freeze in my spot as he placed his knee on a bed, next to my hip. Then his right hand snaked around me and hold me still while the other quickly poured the alcohol on the wound. I flinched, and his grip tightened on me.

I don't know which feeling was stronger at the moment. The painful burning sensation over my ribs, or warmth of Daryl's firm grip on my bare skin. I closed my eyes as I tried to focus on the latter, my breath sped up a little, hopefully, the only sign of my state. 

After a moment, I felt a rag pressing again against my side, and the hunter's hand left my body. A slight shiver went down my spine when sudden coldness hit me. 

"Lay down." His voice was low and huskier than before. When I looked at him, he was blushing again, and his pupils were dilated. Interesting, maybe I have some effect on Daryl Dixon, after all. 

I did as he said and spread my body on my right side and watched him move a chair next to the bed. 

"Wait. Give me another one." I reached for the bottle and downed some more liquid when he prepared the needle and a thread. 

"Ya gonna be hammered. When did ya eat last time?

"Hm... yesterday morning, I think. And being drunk actually sounds appealing." 

"Do ya wanna bite down that belt again, or ya ready to finish yur story?" I thought about that for a moment, realizing that he was right. I was already quite tipsy, so I started talking again while he worked on the stitches.

"So we killed those guys. Were just about to leave the bar when another car pulled out. I guess they were scavenging with a bigger group. Long story short, we were shooting at each other. One of the bullets grazed me." I winced in pain a little when he pulled the thread harsher, and he apologized.

"And the kid?"

"Oh, man. He was on a roof, and the other drove the car, told the kid to jump down. He didn't make. Impaled his leg on a metal fence, while his buddy took off. Rick didn't want to leave him for walkers."

"Fucking stupid."

"Trust me, I already told him that, repeatedly." 

"Sit up." Daryl cut off the thread when he finished, and I did as he said. Very gently, and also trying not to touch any naked part of me, he wrapped a clean bandage over my ribcage, securing it with a pin. 

"Thank you."

"Is' alright." I moved to grab my top and put it on when he stopped me. My eyebrows furrowed, and I cocked my head a little. 

"Ya will get it dirty." 

I grinned at him and licked my lips. "You just want to keep looking at my boobs, right?" Another blush flooded his face, and he looked away from me. 

"Pff, I just fixed ya, not gonna let ya destroy all my work." He took off his new leather vest and started unbuttoning his shirt. At this moment, I decided that I definitely was drunk or hallucinating. What is happening? 

"Here." Daryl handed me his shirt, leaving him in his wife-beater. Oh, well, that's disappointing. I nodded and put it on. It was way too big for me, and it smelled like him. Fresh forest mixed in with that musky scent. I had to close my eyes for a second to concentrate, to not show just how much I wanted to bury my face in the fabric.

"Ya wanna talk about it?" I just told him what happened in town, so he wasn't talking about this. I took a shaky breath and shook my head.

"No. I'm sorry." I looked at him and touched his arm gently. "One day, though. One day I'll tell you about mine, and you'll tell me about yours." He tensed at my words but kept looking in my eyes. If he wasn't sure that I saw his scars at the CDC, now I confirmed it.

He swallowed thickly and finally softly nodded his head. I smiled at him and patted his arm, slowly buttoning his shirt.

"Thanks for the shirt." I wiggled my eyebrows and looked him over. "You know if you want to take off something else, I wouldn't mind."

He sighed and turned around to leave the room. "Yeah, ya gonna live."

I giggled, and we both made our way to the dining room. The rest of us already sitting around the table. I watched Daryl nod at Carol, and my eyes narrowed. I sighed and shook my head. He's not mine.

I took a seat next to Lori on the last available chair and took another drink of whiskey. Yea, I took it with me. The plan was to get drunk and then finally go to sleep.

"Are you OK?" The woman next to me asked me, and I nodded. 

"Just a graze." I started rolling up the sleeves. For once, Daryl had a shirt with them still attached, and they were too long for me.

"Pff. It took a chunk of yur skin, woman." I cleared my throat at his comment and glared at him. 

"Nonetheless, I'm fine." 

"Are you gonna tell us about that kid now?" T-Dog asked Rick, and he nodded. 

Sheriff paced for a second before starting. "We couldn't just leave him behind. He'd have bled out if he lived that long."

"Walkers were coming almost from every direction," I added, to explain his last statement. 

"What do we do with him?" Andrea finally asked a question everyone wanted to. I looked at Rick, waiting for his response. But Hershel came back, drying his hands.

"I repaired his calf muscle as best I can. But he'll probably have nerve damage. He won't be on his feet for at least a week."

"When he is, we give him a canteen, take him out to the main road, send him on his way." Rick decided, and I nodded at that. 

"Isn't that the same as leaving him for the walkers?" Andrea asked again, and I looked at her.

"He was impaled on a fence. That is his chance for a new start, far away from us." I told her and saw a few people nodding in agreement. 

"You just gonna let him go? He knows where we are." I fucking forgot how annoying Shane is.

"He doesn't. He was blindfolded and unconscious all the time in the car. He's not a threat."

"Not a threat? How many of them were there?" Rick and I looked at each other and then with Glenn and Hershel. "You killed three of their man. You took one of them hostage. But they just ain't gonna come looking for him."

"They won't!" I told Shane sternly. "There was one man alive, he left Randall to die. And I doubt that he thought we'll take the kid with us. For all they know, he was eaten alive in that alleyway."

"We should still post a guard," T said, and I actually agreed with him. Yeah, Randall wasn't a threat, but he was still a stranger who shot at us.

"He's out cold right now," Hershel said. "Will be for hours."

"You know, I'm gonna go get him some flowers and candy." Shane scoffed and moved to walk away. "Look at this, folks. We back in fantasy land."

"You know, we haven't even dealt with what you did at my barn yet. Let me make this perfectly clear once and for all." Hershel stood straight, with a serious look at his face. "This is my farm. Now I wanted you to go. Rick talked me out of it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. So do us both a favor. Keep your mouth shut."

Shane glanced around the room, that crazy look again in his eyes. He shook his head, and when he saw that no one will say anything, he left the house. 

"Look." Rick started again, calmer now that Shane was gone. "We're not gonna do anything about it today. Let's just cool off."

People started to leave the house, and I followed the older man.

"Hershel! Do you have a moment?" He looked at me and led me to the room I fixed myself before.

"What can I do for you? Is it your wound?" My hand automatically touched a painful spot on my body, but I shook my head.

"No. So, um, that's awkward." I started and cleared my throat. Now that adrenaline was gone, I felt everything that happened to me in the past few days. I had a sore throat, my lungs still hurt with every breath. And now, to add to it, I was shot. And on an excellent way to get drank.

"So, a day before the barn. I was with T-Dog, looking for--" I couldn't even say her name. After another sharp breath and a nod from the man, I continued. "Long story short. We were at the creek, cooling off. There was a walker in it, we hadn't noticed. I nearly drowned." 

At that, Hershel's eyes widened, and he immediately grabbed a stethoscope that was still around his neck. "And you didn't say anything?" 

"We all were occupied with other stuff. And then, well, you were gone." 

"Take off your shirt."

"Nope."

"Elena, I need to properly listen to your lungs, from both sides. Take off your shirt."

I looked him in the eyes and swallowed harshly. That's precisely what I tried to avoid. I slowly did as he said and stood straight only in my bra. I looked ahead, making sure not to make eye contact. He stood still for a second, and I knew what he was looking at. Fuck, two people in one day, that's a new record for me.

Hershel finally moved and started listening to my breath, pressing cold metal to my skin. First to my chest and then to my back. "Take a deep breath." I did as he said, and it hurt.

"It hurts when I do. And my throat is sore." I whispered when he finished and allowed me to get dressed again. 

"You may have pneumonia, or at least early stages. We still have some antibiotics. Wait here for me."

I used the time Hershel was gone to collect my stuff from the floor. He came back after a few minutes with a glass of water and a bottle of meds. 

"Take one every twelve hours for four days. And if you feel any worse than now, come to me straight away." I nodded and moved away to leave and finally go to sleep.

"What happened?" 

I sighed and stopped, turning slightly. I ran my tongue over my teeth and looked at the older man with a sad smile. "I told you, world was already scary, long before the apocalypse. That's just one of the examples."

I finally sat down on my sleeping bag and exhaled deeply. With so many people in our group, it was hard to even get here. T wanted to know if I'm alright, and it took me almost fifteen minutes to convince him I won't die. 

Then I had to repeat it with Dale. After that, I found Rick and asked him to tell everyone to let me sleep and basically fuck off. 

And then, just when I was crawling inside my tent, Carol came to apologize. I told her that we'll talk tomorrow and zipped the flap on her face. Not literally, of course.

I know, super rude. But I just couldn't do it any longer. I appreciated the fact that there were people who worried about me. And that Carol wanted to make amends. But it had to wait. 

I was in pain, my lungs, and side killing me. And thoughts of Sophia came back to me again. So I just sat on my makeshift bed and cried silently, drinking whiskey in between. 

I cried for a little lost girl, whom we didn't safe. And for her mother, who will carry that loss for the rest of her life. I cried for Lori and her unborn child because she must be terrified. Our future is uncertain, and we couldn't know if she will survive long enough to give birth. Or if she'll survive the labor. 

I was crying for Hershel and his family. Their loss was even worse as they believed for the past months that all this is just temporary. And for Glenn, as today he saw how cruel world really can be, and I had a part in this. 

So I finally cried for myself, for the old wounds that I usually kept well hidden and today were opened again. For past losses and the new ones that happened recently. That's why I was hesitating at the beginning when I met Dale. For precisely that reason. Because I fucking knew that once I get to know those people, I'd care. 

And guess what? That's exactly what was happening right now. I cared for this group, alright, the majority of them. I'd do what needs to be done just to protect them. Not to mention Daryl. This stupid, annoying, carrying, sexy redneck. I don't even know how harmless flirting, and joy of embarrassing him, twisted into something more profound. When did I start to care for him on a completely different level? 

I chuckled at that and took another big gulp of alcohol. At this point, I was most definitely drunk, and I enjoyed it. In the peace of my tent, just by myself, without a need to filter my words to anyone or to control my body language. I was more relaxed around those people, true, but not wholly hundred percent myself. There were still parts of me that I didn't want to show or tell.

Someone cleared their throat just outside of my tent. Nowadays, for a doorbell or knock. I groaned a little and propped myself on my elbows.

"What?"

"Um, I'll come tomorrow." This sweet gravely southern drawl that I loved and hated at this same time. What the hell is he doing here?

"Is fine. Come." I quickly ran a hand over my face trying to wipe away any traces of tears. He'll be able to tell, of course, but that way I might avoid talking about it.

He unzipped the entrance and then crawled inside, taking a spot in the corner. His eyes were watching me, his teeth gently nipping at the bottom lip. Maybe inviting him inside was actually a bad idea. I'm drunk, and he is just sitting there, close enough to touch, with his stunning looks and shy manner. 

"Can I help you?"

"I'm sorry." He said, lowering his head ashamed.

"Hm, second time this week. Let's not make a habit out of it." He looked up, catching my eyes and seeing a big grin on my face. "I blame Rick."

"What?" 

"Well, we didn't argue until he showed up, so yeah," I answered and saw that little smirk in the corner of his mouth. I stretched my hand, offering him a drink. He looked at it for a second and then took it drinking from it quickly.

"If ya make one comment about drinkin' from this same bottle, I'm leavin'." 

I pouted at him and scrunched my eyebrows. "You're no fun."

"It ain't funny."

"Um, yes, it is." I sat up and winced at the pain on my side. "Thank you."

"What for?" He passed me the whiskey, and I drank it happily.

"For apologizing and stitching me up. And for the shirt." He looked down, yes I was still wearing it. "You know, you not getting it back, right?"

"And why not? I don't have a lot of those." He grunted and moved his head to the side.

"Because it smells like you." I winked at him, and he rolled his eyes.

"Ya really crazy, woman."

"Daryl!" I cried out, pretending to be deeply hurt. His smirk widened, and I shook my head, reaching for my pack. I fibbed with the items inside and finally fished out my small notebook. I flipped the pages until I found the right one.

"Whatcha doin'?" I glared at him and grabbed a pen.

"Marking that you called me crazy. It was exactly -" I switched to the previous page and did the quick math, which wasn't easy in my current stage. "- twenty-one days. It was my record!"

He snorted at that and moved closer, trying to look over my arm at the item in my hand. "Ya really got a calendar?"

"Yup, it's just a plain notebook, so it will last me for years. I'm trying to fit a month per page." I moved it slightly so he could see what I did. "Today, we are on day 56, or well. I'm counting since we all met upon a highway. It's Monday, the 16th of August." 

He looked at me, and I saw that he was impressed for a second, but then scowled and shook his head. "It ain't matter anymore."

"It does, Daryl." I looked back at my book, flipping through the pages. "It will help. Even stupid things like birthdays, you know. When is your birthday?" I grinned at him and looked up, excited.

He didn't reply, just took a bottle from me and started drinking again. And once more, I was lost in the sight of him, how he drank, how his arm muscles flexed when he moved it. I blinked rapidly and looked away. Evil thoughts, very inappropriate. I'd probably scare poor guy to death if I'd try anything. He would shut me out completely, and that's something I didn't want. I enjoyed being his friend, even if that's the only thing I'll ever be.

"Come on, Daryl. You're the only one I don't have in here." 

"October 2nd," His voice was low, and he cleared his throat after speaking. I beamed at him, and quickly found the right page, writing his name next to a date. 

"What 'bout ya?" 

"Christmas Eve. So how old will you be in October?" 

"Why?"

"Checking if I'm not too old for you." I winked at him again, and he blushed. But I could see him smile, and his eyes weren't shooting at me, so that's a good sign. 

"35."

"No fucking way!" He just hummed at that and nodded. Of course, I knew he was older or the same age, but yet he didn't look it. Or maybe I was too drunk to tell. 

He took another sip and then handed me the bottle. "So ya younger or older?"

"Younger, three years."

"Ya don't look it."

My eyes widened, and I rose my eyebrows. "Did you just give me a compliment?"

"Pff, forget it."

We sat in comfortable silence for a while. That's something I discovered during our hunts. We didn't necessarily have to talk to enjoy each other's company. Sometimes I just got lost in my thoughts, and Daryl knew it so he'd leave me alone. And when he was focused, or tracking, I'd stay quiet, just admiring his work. 

"T-dog told me." Daryl finally whispered after minutes of silence. I looked down at the bottle in my hand and noticed it was nearly empty. I offered it to him, I had enough already.

"Yeah, it was fun." I shivered slightly at the memory.

"Why didn't ya say somethin'?"

"We were already worried enough. About Sophia, you. What good would it do?"

"I heard ya cough. Ya good now?" I heard something in his voice, some softer tone to his normal gruff one. I nodded and smiled.

"Yeah, Hershel checked, I'm good." He looked at me, studying my face for traces of a lie. Can he do it? Can he see through my bullshit?

"Yeah, I can." 

My eyes grew big. "What the fuck, Daryl? Can you read my thoughts, I'm really that drunk?" 

The hunter laughed for a second and shook his head. I never heard him do that before, and let me tell you it was the most beautiful sound I heard in a long time. 

"Nah, ya said it out loud."

"Oh. Um," I turned my face away from him. First, to hide my embarrassment. Secondly, because I started to be too aware of his presence in my tent. Daryl's big frame taking the majority of an entrance, his musky scent filling my nose. I need to fucking control myself and my thoughts. 

"Hershel gave me some antibiotics, I'll start them tomorrow."

I moved around and put the calendar away and then lay on my right side, looking at Daryl. He obviously didn't know what to do with himself, but I didn't care anymore. We had a pleasant conversation, no more arguing. I was hurt and drank, and I just needed to sleep for a week.

"I'm sorry Big Boy. I don't know how much longer I can stay awake," I whispered, closing my eyes for a second. A big yawn escaped my mouth, and I didn't even try to hide. He made some noise in agreement, and I smiled. 

"Night, Daryl."

"Night, El."


	19. Chapter 19

** Day 59 **

I was taking deep breaths and exhaling slowly, while Hershel was moving cold metal of stethoscope around my chest. Again.

I was grounded for the past three days, and it was getting on my nerves. I don't do well with sitting still. But the doctor ordered a rest, and I had to obey. I tried not to, of course, but apparently, doctor-patient confidentiality doesn't exist anymore. So, everyone knew, not just that I'm ill but also how it happened. T was more than happy to provide details of the story. 

But today was the day. I felt much better already, even my side wasn't killing me every time I moved. 

"It sounds better, but I can still hear shimmers," Hershel finally said. I scrunched my face and looked at him, unhappy with that.

"So, what are your orders, Doc?"

"I don't want you to go outside of the farm, but you can move around."

"Better than nothing, I guess."

"And how's the wound?"

I looked down and hummed. "Better, still hurts if I move weirdly or if I'm lying on it. I think we can take stitches out in a few days."

"We'll see." I watched him leave the room and sighed. I was bored. I wanted to go hunting, or just for a walk for that matter. Or to do my daily exercises, which I neglected since we left the quarry.

That's precisely what I did, took a slow walk around the farm. It was huge, way bigger than we thought. I stood in the middle of a field, away from the house, watching the cattle. That's not very safe, we need to post guards here, or some other type of protection to alarm us in case walkers show up. In just minutes, all these cows could be dead, and meat spoiled. 

Maybe build some watchtowers, one looking at the fields, and the other near the house. Rick still has his walkie-talkie; I have mine, a simple way of communicating. But it means two people on the lookout at all times. I'd have to talk to the sheriff about it.

I heard the steps behind me and automatically spun around, raising my gun towards the intruder.

Carol froze in her steps, swallowing thickly, and I let out a heavy breath, slowly lowering the weapon.

"Fuck, don't scare me like that!"

She smiled at me gently and gave a small nod. "Didn't mean to. What you doing?"

"Having a walk. Hershel finally deemed me capable," I said and watched her play with her fingers. She shifted a little before speaking again.

"I saw you coming out here and... I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," I replied and shook my head. I wasn't angry, not anymore. "You are grieving, and I pushed you too hard."

"That doesn't change the fact that I was a bitch." At that, I laughed. 

"It's fine, Carol. Don't worry about it." When I said that, she walked to me and hugged me. I didn't want to put us at odds again, so I returned the gesture. I really am going soft around those people.

"Do you want some company?"

I shrugged at that, "If you have nothing better to do."

We walked around the farm for a little before she spoke again.

"Daryl moved to the edge of the property." 

I nodded and clenched my jaw at that. I had a conversation with the hunter about that, and I knew, at the moment, he needed space. "He just needs time."

"I don't want him to pull away." She sighed, and I watched her carefully; she genuinely looked upset about the fact. My eyes went back to the view in front of us as I thought about an answer. 

"He thinks that carrying was a mistake," I said softly. "He's not used to it, and what happens if you fail."

"But he didn't!" She took my hand and stopped, making me look at her again. "Neither did you."

I took a shaky breath. This, coming out of Carol, seemed like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.

"I know. And he does too. Somewhere deep inside, I guess. Daryl just needs some time to understand his feelings." I squeezed her hand and smiled a little. 

"I'm just scared that he'll leave." You and me both, sister. 

"He won't. Not if I can help it," My voice was stern. "Plus, he's not stupid, Carol. He knows that it'd be hard to survive without other people."

"You two are so different. Why do you care about him so much?" What sort of fucking question is it? I faced the women again, reeding her body language. But there was nothing that my stupid heart suspected. She stood there, hands down, looking straight in my eyes. Her face didn't show really any other emotion, but curiosity. 

"He's a friend. You know that. Besides, he deserves someone to care for him. Not for what he can or can't do for us. But for who he is." She smiled widely at my answer. But that quickly disappeared when she looked at something over my shoulder.

"OK, I need to go back to the laundry." I spun after her and saw Rick walking towards us. So Carol didn't want me or Daryl to feel guilty, but clearly still blamed Rick for what happened. That can be a problem in the long run. 

"How's going, officer?"

"She still won't talk to me." His eyes were following the woman who took off just moments ago.

"Yeah, she just needs time." It seems like we all fucking need it. 

"I wanted to talk to you." He finally looked at me, and I rose my eyebrows. "Hershel let's us stay, for now. Winter's gonna come sooner than later. We need to make this place safer."

"Oh, I got some ideas."

** Day 61 **

It was good to be back in the woods. Peaceful, a moment just to yourself. Breathing a fresh air of forest after the rain is unique. It also was suitable for tracking, footsteps, or paw trails more visible. It was pouring down all last night, but it also made the air stuffier; this morning, the sun was scorching again. So we had to hurry up and hopefully catch some fresh meat. 

After my talk with Rick, we agreed to use knives, or any other silent weapons, more. I think he finally started realizing how dangerous it could be to use a gun at the wrong moment. I told him my ideas about watchtowers and patrolling. We also talked with Hershel about cattle and what he usually does with the animals during the winter. So we agreed that Daryl and I should hunt as much as we can until then. That way, we can stock the freezer and spare the cows for as long as we can. 

Daryl and I were walking for a few hours already. He noticed tracks about half a mile south from the farm, and it looked like a family. One adult and two young ones. It would be good for us, but also way harder to put them down or even sneak upon them. I was walking first, something Daryl insisted on. Apparently, that way, he could cover my back and not worry about me doing something stupid. His face is stupid. I know how to hunt, and I thought we already established that, back at the quarry. But apparently not. 

Rustling on my right made me stop and raise my hand. My bow was ready, and so was Daryl's crossbow. Trees were spread wider in this area, so it was easier to spot our pray. 

I'm not sure if he saw what I did, so I moved closer to him, careful to not make any sound. It was a family, alright. But not fucking deers. Right there, about sixty yards away stood proud boar and three of its offspring. 

Now, what you need to know is, boars have a very thick coating, so hunting it with a bow... not a great idea. Trying to take down a parent, it's seems nearly impossible. They're vicious when it comes to protecting their young. I did have my gun with a suppressor on, but it still was super risky. I looked around and quickly tried to assess the situation. I tapped Daryl on his arm and then motioned a tree closest to him. 

"Can you climb it?" My voice was so quiet that for a second, I wasn't sure if he actually heard me. After a few seconds, he nodded, and I put my bow around me and took out my gun. It was crazy. I admit it. Even for me, of course, we could leave, but we didn't know if they'd hear us and then attack us. Or maybe somehow they'd follow us and then attack either way? And we needed meat and the hide also would be useful. 

I took a deep breath and pointed my weapon at the adult animal.

"Go!" I shouted at this same time as I pulled the trigger twice. I was aiming at the heart and head; for a second, I thought I did it. But then the animal started charging, and my heart skipped a beat. I ran to the tree on my right and managed to get a footing on the lower branch and pull myself higher. Hopefully, away from the angry animal. Just as I was trying to sit, something hit the tree, and I nearly lost my balance. Grabbing the branch tighter and sat up, my back pressed to the bark, looking around for Daryl.

He sat awkwardly in the tree opposite me, and I sighed, relieved. The mother was pacing angrily bellow me, and the two young ones were surrounding something, back where they were. OK, so I did hit something.

"Get the young ones," I said, loudly enough for the hunter to hear me. Alrighty, I had to focus on the issue on the ground. We are not getting down, not until the parent is dead. But we also had a walker issue. The dead ones could show up at any time. Even with a suppressor, the gun still makes noise, and the last thing we needed was all that meat be spoiled by walkers. 

I tried to aim from my current position, but the animal was frantic, not stopping even for a second. I need it here; looking around, I pulled at some leaves and then dropped them to the ground. 

The boar came charging at the tree again, but this time I was ready. My tights were gripping the branch tightly, and when it was close enough, I shot at the boar. The third one finally was the headshot, and the body dropped to the ground. I looked around to check if Daryl got the other two, just as his bolt pierced the last one. 

I leaned my head back, breathing heavily. Fucking hell, that was exciting and scary.

"El?" I heard his voice and saw that he already climbed down, and I did this same, putting my gun away first. 

"You alright?" I asked him when I touched the ground and looked him up and down for any injuries. Which was stupid, he was safe in that tree, long before I was. But I couldn't stop myself. He gave me a sharp nod. His face went darker, and he strode to me, grabbing my arms. Not as hard as he did back when we were looking for Sophia, but it still put me on edge.

"What were ya thinkin', woman?!" His voice husky, this blue eyes staring right at my soul.

"I thought that we need the meat and that it's too dangerous to leave them alone, to catch up to us when we aren't ready. What would you do?" I slipped from his grip but didn't move. You can't scare me with your stern look, Dixon.

"Just--" His hands clenched into fists, but his look softened. "--is was reckless. I ain't want ya to die." We stared at each other for a moment, and I finally gave him a small smile.

"OK. We need to be quick. I take young ones, you take mother."

"Juvenile."

"What?"

"The young ones, they called juvenile."

"Alrighty, Big Guy." I smiled and took the rope out of my pack. I tied it tightly around the hoofs and turned back to him. "Daryl."

"What?"

"I can carry them, but I need you to put them on me first." Lifting and putting over your shoulder nearly two hundred pounds, not as easy when you're five foot three. He grunted something under his nose but came over regardless. 

Daryl quickly lifted dead animals, and swang them over my shoulders. I huffed a little at that and adjusted them before nodding.

"Alrighty, let's go, before I collapse."

"El?" I stopped for a second and looked over my shoulder at him. "Yur really crazy."

"Daryl!"

Jurney back took us longer than I anticipated, but it was worth it. To see the faces of our group when they saw me first emerge from the woods, priceless. We used Daryl's camp to skin the animals and remove the insides, before taking the meat to the house. There, Lori, Carol, and Patricia would portion it. I told Daryl that I want to keep the hide and do something with it, so I asked Hershel to use a barn to clean it and then dry it.

I was thinking about what to do with it, exactly. Maybe a jacket or a vest? Well, first, I needed to clean it thoroughly. I pinned down all of them and started to scrape off any remnants of skin.

It was a long and tiring job. When I was happy and soaked the hide in the clean water, it was getting dark. I had to leave it overnight anyway, at least I think I do. I read a book about what to do with an animal skin once, but I never actually did it before. Well, we'll see.

** Day 64 **

I was currently sitting on a chair next to Beth's bed, trying to do something about her mental health. Remember when I said that I wasn't that good as a psychologist? Yeah, I still volunteered, though, to talk to the young women. I was an excellent profiler, good at hacking sick minds and capturing them. Sitting down with a patient to tell me their story? Completely different. Even worse, when a said patient doesn't want to talk to you. 

And yet here I am, with Beth on a bed, not even facing me.

"You can take all the time you want, sweety," I said softly, remembering my studies.

"I already told you, I don't wanna talk."

I sighed, but still plastered a smile on my face. "And it's fine, we can be quiet. But talking about how you feel would help."

"About how I feel?" Beth finally looked at me, anger radiating from every pore of her body. "I feel like my mom just died! I feel like the world finished! And I feel like I just wanna die, so I don't have to suffer like she did! How's that for therapy?"

"And how do you think your dad or Maggie will feel if you'd die?" I didn't change the tone of my voice, still low and empathetic. I hoped.

"My father thinks they are sick people, he's not taking it seriously. And Maggie is so wrapped with Glenn, that I doubt that she'd miss me much!"

"Hershel understands now, trust me. And for your sister, she would be devastated. Both of them would be. Dying is not a solution, it's just an easy way out."

"I wouldn't have to suffer or watch all of you die!"

"Yes, that's true. You also wouldn't have to watch all of us cry when we would find you. You wouldn't see you dad break down or your sister give up." I stopped for a second and tried to see her reactions. There was none, she was still angry, and was glaring at me as if I was the one that caused the apocalypse. "I lost my parents when I was twenty-six. They were murdered. I spent two years chasing the bastard who did this. I was so tangled in my anger and wish for revenge that I didn't want to grief."

I looked away, remembering the night when I completely broke down. After everything was settled after I left the hospital. "I had a gun pointed, right here." I tapped at my temple and smiled bitterly. "And then I realized how selfish I was, towards all the people who were still with me, who cared. And how my parents would be ashamed of me."

"Well, I'm not you. Just get out!" She said through gritted teeth and turned around to face away from me. I ran a hand over my face and quietly left the room.

I padded into the kitchen, hoping to grab some water before leaving for my watch shift. Maggie sat on one of the chairs, slowly peeling potatoes. I still was in awe that they had their own vegetables. She stood up quickly the moment she saw me.

"How is she?"

I shook my head and reached for a glass from the cabinet. "She's not dealing with it too well. Beth is furious at everything and everyone. And wants to die."

"What do I do?" Maggie asked, her voice was shaky, and she was sitting again, head in her hands. 

"We need to show her that she got something to live for," I spoke after a moment. "But it will take time. Show her that you care for her. Try not to judge her for how she feels."

"Will you talk to her again?" Maggie asked. I nodded and started to go towards the door.

"Yeah, tomorrow, I'll try again."

I sat on top of the RV for the last two hours. People came and go, doing their daily routines. Lori and Carol were just hanging wet clothes on the line. Rick was talking to Hershel, bend over a map, trying to find the best place to drop Randall. Dale was napping inside of the vehicle, ready for his shift, and Daryl was back in the woods, this time with T-Dog. Rick still insisted on not letting us go without a backup. Glenn and Jimmy were patrolling together, the area where cattle was.

There was one person unaccounted for, and he just climbed up to sit next to me. I tried not to show how uneasy it made me, being alone with him. I sent a small smile and nodded.

"Can we talk?" Shane asked me, taking a spare chair next to me. 

"Sure. What about?"

"Randall." Oh, that will be a great conversation. "You can't possibly agree with Rick on it."

I sighed and thought about how to answer him without unleashing crazy Shane. "I think you both are right."

"What that's supposed to mean?" He snarled, looking ahead.

"It means that I understand he can be a threat. Randall's a stranger, I get that." I said in a soft voice, trying not to provoke the man next to me. "But he's just a kid. He was left to die by his own group. We made sure he won't know where he is. His people won't be looking for him."

"But just sending him out, he could find his way back to his group or to us and bring them here."

"I know that. But there are people here who won't agree with just simply killing a kid. You know that too. We don't need to split our own group apart." I looked at him finally and saw that he was deep in thought. "Shane, you don't want your own people to be scared of you. Sometimes we have a choice, and that's what Rick's trying to do. To choose a better option in a very shitty situation."

He nodded and stood up, but his voice was cold, and I wasn't sure if anything I said actually reached him. "This is not a better option. It'll bite us in the ass, and I'll be here to remind y'all that Rick is not a good leader." 

With that, he got back down and took off towards the house. I took a shaky breath and ran a hand through my face. I pushed some loose hair strands that escaped the plait. Shane was getting dangerous, and he certainly didn't agree with Rick's approach. Not to mention looks, he was giving Lori, every time he saw her. I know that most of us stopped trusting him, and some were even scared. We were slowly breaking as a group, and I was afraid of what it'll do to us.

"So what you doing now?" Carl sat next to me on the barn's floor, and we both had a piece of fur in front of us. I decided to use a big one for a vest, it can go over my jacket and help me keep warm during the winter. I was gonna do this same with the small ones, that one for Carl. That will be more difficult, we'll have to stitch together two pieces, and I wasn't a very crafty person, to begin with. 

"We gonna use that," I showed him an electric shaver. "And we'll trim the hair. It will still keep us warm, but less annoying." I already treated the skin and cleaned it properly, to the best of my abilities. Plus, without proper products, it wasn't a masterpiece, but it will do. 

"How do you know what to do?"

"I read a lot in my life."

"And you remember all of it?" He looked at me, clearly impressed.

"I do remember the majority of what I read, yes."

"That's really cool!" He was easily impressed, that's for sure. 

"OK. I asked Carol to help us with stitching it up, but we need to hurry up with the trimming, kid." I took the razor and switched it on. I lay the hide on the pice of wood and pinned the corners. I already cut off the shape, it was the last stage before we had to go back to Carol. "You do this same with yours. Now watch how I'm doing it." The machine buzzed and vibrated in my hands, while I moved it over the boar's hair. When I was finished, I touched it and was happy with the results. I handed the shaver over to Carl and nodded at him. 

"I don't wanna destroy it," He said, looking at me.

"You won't, kiddo. It's already set up, just do what I did, and you'll be good." He finally smiled at me and get to work, running the machine over the hair, gently, but without hesitation. 

"OK. Now we gonna take those brushes, and get the excess hair out." I passed him one of the horse brushes and used mine.

"What now, Elena?" Carl looked at me when he finished with his hide, and I ruffled his head.

"We take those with us to the house and ask Carol nicely to finish it off."


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry guys for a delay, but I started another project. A short story about The Man himself, but I won't be posting that till it's finished.  
> Anyway, hope you gonna enjoy this chapter, we getting closer and closer to the end of season 2.  
> Cheers :)

**Day 64**

Today was going to be another hot day. The sky was clear, and the slowly rising sun was already making me sweat even though it was before noon. Rick and Shane left not long ago to drop Randall off. And now I was trying to talk to Beth again. Trying, being a keyword. The girl scowled at me all morning and then shouted a few angry curses in my way. She shouldn't even know that sort of language.

"She won't talk," I stated as I walked into the kitchen where Lori and Maggie were prepping breakfast for Beth.

"We heard. I'm sorry that she treats you like that." Maggie said with a small smile. I just shrugged it off, not like it was the first time someone spoke like this to me.

"I had worse."

Lori was cutting the chicken into portions, while the younger woman was slicing some vegetables. I picked up one of the tall glasses and poured orange juice into it.

"Did Rick say anything to you about Glenn when they got back from town?" Maggie asked, looking directly at the other woman.

"Just that it had gotten pretty bad."

"He's not the same." She looked at me now. "What happened there?"

"We were shot at," I said and put the juice on a tray. "Then, Glenn was going for a car, and one of the guys started firing in his direction. He hid behind the dumpster. Nothing weird, why?"

"He's not this same." Maggie shook her head and braced her hands on a table. "Says he froze. Blames me. Says I got inside his head."

"Idiot."

"He came back," Lori commented calmly. "That's what matters. Men have to do certain things. You know that. And they're either gonna blame the little woman as the reason they do them or the reason they don't."

"That's true. Glenn told us in the car what you said to him." I looked at the short-haired woman. "You're both young. I don't think he ever was in love, and he doesn't understand it. The immediate danger of walkers doesn't help."

"I'll tell you something." Lori moved the food onto the plate and started to wipe her hands. "What happens out there happens out there. And we-- we're trying to keep it together till they get back."

"Things were good," Maggie said. "Maybe I'll--"

"He's a big boy. He makes his own choices. I mean, you-- do you have anything to apologize for?" At that, Maggie shook her head and pressed her lips in a thin line. "Tell him to man up and pull himself together."

"Well, maybe without man up part, that never goes well," I added, laughing softly. I could imagine how Glenn would look like hearing those words.

"Let me just get this to Beth." Maggie grabbed a tray with food, but before she could go anywhere, Lori gently took it off her.

"You go on. I got it."

"Go see if you can find Glenn, tell him to grow some balls." I pushed her out of the house and started making myself a sandwich, thinking about upcoming months. We should look for some garage nearby, check for spare tires for the winter. If we are lucky, snow and low temperature will affect walkers. But that's something we won't know till it actually happens.

"You OK?" I asked Lori when she came back. She looked upset, even though she tried to hide it.

"Beth said it's stupid to get pregnant right now." Ah, well, she's not wrong.

"It's not that you wanted to, did you?"

"Of course not." She turned around to me, scrunching her nose.

"Exactly. Nothing you can do now," I commented and took a sip of juice. "Is it dangerous? Of course, it is. But on the other hand, if you think about it--" I looked out the window, trying to sort my thoughts. "--We saw so many walkers, and it's just Georgia. So many people, just gone. It may sound silly, but children will be what saves us."

"What you mean?"

"We can't just stop reproducing if we want the human race to survive."

Lori sighed and sat down next to me. "I can't stop thinking that maybe she's right."

"It's gonna be different. That's what's scary." I put my hand on her arm in a reassuring manner. "We will do what we have to, to protect you and baby." As I said it, I realized that it was true. It will be hard, without doctors and meds, but it was done before, right? It's just, our generation isn't used to pre-technology lives. And I also realized that I'll do what I can to make sure that they'll survive. Because I really cared for those people, something I tried to avoid from the beginning.

"Thank you." Lori gave me a sweet smile, and I could see a glimmer in her eyes as if she tried to stop the tears.

"No need. On a different note. I was thinking about self-defense lessons for all of us. What you think?"

"I don't know. A week ago, I'd tell you that we don't need it."

"And now?"

"If we ever encounter a group like Randall's, and something happens--" She shook her head and swallowed harshly. "--We can't keep counting on you and the man to protect us."

I nodded, happy that she saw the reason. "Good. I'll talk to Rick and Hershel about it. I'd also have to prep Daryl." She rose her eyebrows at that and smirked lightly.

"Why you need Dixon for it?"

"He knows how to fight. I know that Rick and Shane do too, but I'd teach you a different type of fighting. Not cop style. How to quickly disarm and neutralize your opponent, how to deal with few at the time."

"Sometimes, I forget that you were FBI." She laughed a little.

"I didn't learn all of that in Academy."

"So, you and Daryl?" I groaned at the change of subject and glanced at her. She was eating, but I could see a mischievous flicker in her eyes.

"Not you too."

"I'm just saying. You spend awful lots of time defending him and his actions. So let me tell you what I did to Maggie. He is a big boy, and he's responsible for his own behavior."

"Hm, true. But Daryl also is a person who spent most of his life hiding his emotions. He doesn't know how to process them and react to them in a-- well, friendly manner. Growing up in Merle's shadow didn't help. But he is nothing like him."

Lori gave me a long stare, so I shrugged my shoulders. "I might be shit with people, but I'm still a psychologist."

The brown-haired women laughed at that and then stood up again. "I'm gonna go check if she ate anything." I nodded and focus on finishing my own food.

I wasn't lying before. I know that Daryl is a grown-ass man, hell very well-grown man. In all the right places. But he knows shit about how to behave around other people, how to react when someone depends on you.

I took my empty plate and started to clean it up when Lori came back to the kitchen. I glanced at the tray and looked at the woman next to me.

"She didn't eat anything?"

"No, poor thing." She started to empty the tray, rapidly she just ran out of the room without saying anything. I furrowed my brow and looked closely at the dish. A plate with untouched food, napkin, and a fork. Fuck. I sprinted upstairs just when Beth was handing the steak knife back to Lori. I motioned at the other woman to follow me out of the room.

"Go find Maggie or Hershel. I'll stay with her, try to talk to her again." Lori nodded and hurried down the corridor while I stepped back into the room and sat down next to the bed.

"I don't need you here." Beth's voice was quiet but firm. She already made up her mind, and it was alarming. Talking her out of suicide started to look like a long and complicated process. Something we don't really have time for.

"Yeah, well, I'm sorry, princess, but you stuck with a babysitter."

"How dare you?" She sat up, anger visible on her face. I cocked my brow at her and smirked.

"I'm not going to let you stab yourself, probably in the wrong place as well. You know why? Because we've seen enough death in the past few months. I have a sad fact for you. The world ended, but it doesn't mean that we are dead. We are alive, that matters." I looked at the young woman, sternly. "Trust me, you don't want to die. Hell, probably after the first cut, you'd be too terrified of a pain to go through with it. You just throw a typical teenage temper tantrum."

Beth screamed at that and jumped at me, but I quickly grabbed her wrists and spun her around. I fell down on a bed, her back pressed tightly to my chest, her arms crossed, still firmly in my hands. I could feel her shaking, and soft sobs started to escape her lips.

"It's OK to cry, it's alright to feel pain, deep inside you. You lost your mom." I changed my hold on her, so now my arm was pinning Beth down, and the other hand was brushing her hair softly. "But she wouldn't want you to just give up on the rest of your family. They need you. I saw how you were before the barn. You were happy, or as happy as you can be in the current circumstances. You were their light in the dark, brightening their day, just simply by smiling. You are alive, and you can't just give up."

She was still shaking in my arms when Maggie burst through the door, anger, and fear evident on her face. "What the hell, Beth?!"

I gently untangled myself from the young woman and climbed down from the bed. On my way out, I patted Maggie's shoulder and gave her a sad smile. She nodded at me, and I left. Climbing down, I could hear voices in the kitchen. Andrea and Lori both stood there having a somewhat heated discussion.

"Maggie's there now. I need to do something quickly, but I should be back in a bit. She shouldn't be left alone at all." I told them and quickly left the house.

"What ya doing?"

"Shit!" I jumped, nearly knocking off the motorcycle I was standing next to. Daryl, once again, managed to sneak up on me. "I'm going to get you a fucking bell."

"Woman, why ya searchin' my stuff?" His gravelly voice was closer to me now, and I turned around to face him. I waved my hand, showing him what I found in one of the satchels. His brows furrowed, and he started biting his thumb.

"Did you really think I won't notice that you went through my stuff?" I asked him, and he just shrugged and tried to avoid eye contact. "Look, it doesn't matter now. I need it back. But my question is, what you were planning to do with it?"

"Nothin'." My grip on the map tightened.

"You can be many things, Daryl Dixon. But you aren't a liar. So let me ask you again." I moved towards him, nearly touching him. "What did you needed it for?"

The man in front of me shifted uncomfortably and finally looked at me. I sighed as he still didn't answer.

"Fuck, I don't have time for this. Look, Daryl, I don't know what goes through your head. You are so complicated sometimes. But I'd like to think that we are friends. So please, just please, promise me you won't leave without telling me first." He clenched his jaw, and finally, after a second nodded. I smiled at that and patted his shoulder before making my way back to the house.

I wanted to ask Maggie about other towns in the area. It was not safe to come back to the one we found Hershel in. It was still possible that Randall's group stayed around, and it was not worth risking lives. I passed our camp and waved at T-Dog, watching him speak with Andrea and Glenn.

I walked back into the house just to be greeted by Lori and Maggie sitting in the kitchen. The latter was silently crying while the older woman tried to comfort her. I stood there for a second, before asking quietly, slightly scared to hear an answer.

"Who's with Beth?"

"Andrea," Lori answered, looking at me puzzled. Adrenaline started pumping in my veins, and I dropped the map on the table, shaking my head. I turned quickly towards the staircase.

"She's back at the camp." I ran up and could hear footsteps, right behind me. "Beth?"

The young girl was nowhere in her room, and Maggie made a quick way towards the bathroom. There was no reply except the sound of shattering glass from behind the closed door. The brown-haired woman started banging on the door and shouting her sister's name.

"Move." I pushed her out of the way. "Beth, move away from the door, now."

I pushed the other women out of the way and took a deep breath. Lori was looking for something to pry the door with, but there was no time. In a quick and swift motion, I kicked the door once then twice before it finally gave in. I ignored a sharp pain that spread on my side and just sighed, taking in the view in front of us. In the middle of a small room stood crying Beth, mirror behind her smashed to pieces. She was holding her wrist, and I could see blood pouring under her hand.

"I'm sorry," She said when Maggie walked inside, pulling her sister out, back to the bed.

"Lori, go find Hershel," I said and grabbed a clean towel from the cabinet.

It took a few minutes before Hershel and Patricia ran into the room and started cleaning Beth's wrist. I grabbed Maggie's arm and took her downstairs to calm down. She was shaking, but there was also a fire in her eyes. Something I saw for the first time.

"I'll kill her." She spoke in a low voice. I furrowed my brows at that and looked at her questioningly. "Andrea." Ah, yes.

"I'll help you hide her body," I stated, and Lori nodded. Yes, the blonde woman wasn't our favorite person at the moment. Hell, in the last few weeks, she wasn't in anyone's good graces.

"Speaking of a devil." I looked out the window to see what Lori was talking about, and I could feel my blood boil inside me. But that wasn't my fight, and from what I could tell, Maggie was more than ready to confront her.

We walked out to the porch when Andrea was nearly here. And she dared to look concerned.

"Where were you?" Maggie wasn't shouting, but I saw how she was clenching her fist, trying to control her emotions.

"I just heard. Is she all right?"

"She would be if you had stayed with her. Where were you?"

"How bad is she?"

"It wasn't deep," Lori answered, and Andrea nodded, smiling at us. I took a deep breath and made sure that my face is blank. The blood was pumping fast in my body; the only thing I wanted to do is to punch her in the face.

"She wants to live. She made her decision."

"She tried to kill herself." Maggie rose her voice at the other woman. But Andrea saw only what she wanted.

"No, she didn't."

"My father's stitching her wrist right now."

"She'll live." The blonde woman tried to go around and get to the house, but Maggie moved as well, stopping her. The brown-haired voice was stern and husky when she spoke again.

"Stay away from her. From both of us. Don't you dare step foot inside this house again." After that, Maggie walked back into the house, Lori following and speaking to her quietly.

I stepped down, observing the blonde woman. She was slightly taller than me, but she was the one who was intimidated as we stood just inches apart.

"I told you that you have one chance. You fucked up, again. I'm sorry you couldn't die when you wanted. But that-" I pointed back at the house. "-that was not your call. Beth isn't you. I'll give you two days to pack your stuff and decide where you go. After that, if you're not gone, I'll drag you out of this farm myself."

"You gotta be kidding me." Andrea huffed and looked at me like I'm crazy.

I cocked my head and gave her a sweet smile. "Please, try me. Give me a reason. Two days. I won't let you risk lives anymore, just because you think you know the answer to everything."

I turned to go back to the house but then stopped, looking back at her. "And if you think that, just because you're fucking Shane will change anything, then you're delusional. If you're not gone in two days, I'll make you."

It was my turn to watch the cattle when Rick finally found me. I knew that they were back. I also knew that they didn't leave Randall. The boy was back, and he knew about the farm and the Greene family. That was a game-changer, and we were all aware of it. Rick leaned on the wooden fence next to me, and for a moment, we were watching cows in peace before he started speaking.

"I heard what you said to Andrea." I ran a tongue over my teeth and smacked my lips. I had a few hours to calm down and to think about my options.

"I wasn't kidding. I know that some people won't agree and that you're the leader. But she crossed the line. Again."

"I agree." He nodded and looked me in the eyes. "That's why you're gonna be observing her. But we can't just kick her out."

"But, we can kill the boy?" At my response, Rick closed his eyes and released a long sigh. He looked tired, and I couldn't blame him. He also had bruises on his face, so did Shane actually.

"We have no choice, he's a treat."

"I know. And if it'll make it easier on you, I can do it." I shrugged, and he lifted his eyes back to mine. "But so is Andrea. I won't drive her away, but you have to make it very clear to her that she follows. That she has no right to make any decisions, especially if it'd endanger our lives."

"I already did."

"Good. But I'm not sure if it will help. The only person at the moment she looks up to is Shane. And Shane-- " I laughed darkly and then pointed at his face. "--he is dangerous. To everyone except Lori and Carl. He doesn't give a shit about anyone else. You have to know it by now."

"I do. We had a chat." Rick chuckled, but quickly his face grew serious again. "I know. He's not the guy I was working with for so many years. But he has his motives."

"Rick, I respect your decisions and how you lead. I do. But don't be surprised when he'll try to kill you. Because you're in his way."

"The baby might be his." I looked away and nodded. Yes, with what I saw back at the quarry, that wasn't shocking. "But no matter what, I am the father."

"I'm just saying, be careful and watch your back."

"I'll. Thank you. I need your help with something tough. Tomorrow morning. I want you to take Daryl and interrogate Randall."

I rose my eyebrows at him and smiled. "You think that I need Daryl there?"

"No, I know you don't. Daryl can be muscles, if necessary. Plus, visually, he's more intimidating." I laughed at that and smiled.

"Yeah, I see what you mean."

"But you can tell when people are lying. So I need you there too."

"Alright. I'll tell Daryl. So he doesn't disappear for his morning hunt."


	21. Chapter 21

**Day 65**

Sometimes it's terrifying how quickly things can change. The world has gone to shit, but there is so much that didn't change. Earth is still spinning; after a day, there is night. The sky is always blue, and the grass is still green. Maybe more dried out from lack of water, but nonetheless, it's still as it was before. Some people are sweet and innocent, some had to change how they look at this new world. Some became monsters, while others already were. But there is one change I'll probably never get used to. Death is still death, but now it's something we experience daily. And that scares me, because how long before we'll become too numb to cry and grieve. How long before we, ourself will become The Walking Dead?

This day started as usual. I woke up early with the sunrise and had a small breakfast at our camp. Some canned beans, anything to avoid cooking. I had my black jeans on with tank top and flannel over it. Nothing new, considering that I didn't really have any other clothes. My blonde hair was in a messy bun on the top of my head. The knives were in its place on my ribcage, and my machete was attached to the belt. The bow and quiver were in my hands; Daryl wanted to go hunting as soon as we finish with Randall. I strolled to the shed and leaned on the wall waiting for Dixon to make an appearance. With how early he usually wakes up, I expected him to be here already.

I spotted the man immediately, once he came around the corner. He was wearing his typical attire, except that his shirt once again had sleeves. On top of it, there was that winged leather vest. His hair started to get longer, on the sides nearly covering his ears. His crossbow was sitting on his shoulder. I smiled when he was near enough to see.

"I didn't know I'd see a day when Daryl Dixon is late."

"I'm not."

"Well, I'm here waiting for you. It's usually the other way around."

Daryl shrugged and stopped in front of me. "Whatever. Are we doing' it or what?"

"Yeah." I reached to my pocket and grabbed a key to open the shed. When we walked in, Randall immediately woke up, looking at us, unsure of what's about to happen.

I told Daryl to let me start it to try to establish a connection before he beats the shit out of the kid. I offered Randall a water bottle and hold it for him while he drank. In the meantime, Daryl put his weapon on a table, next to my bow and took off his vest and shirt, leaving him only in a dirty wife-beater.

"Thank you," Randall said, but he was watching the hunter, who was pacing behind me.

"Randall, my name is Elena, and that's Daryl. I got a few questions for you, and it would be best for you if you answer them truthfully," I spoke, crouching in front of him.

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Do you have any family left?" I asked him, and he looked at me with a sad smile.

"Gone, all I had was my Ma, but she was bit."

"I'm sorry to hear that. What did you do before the turn?"

"I worked at a gas station. My Ma, she was ill, before all this." I nodded at his answer and hold his eyes with mine.

"Alrighty then. Where is your group?"

"I don't know." He shook his head, looking away from me, and I furrowed my eyebrows at that. "We were just off the highway before all this happened." Strike one.

"Dave and Tony told us that you're planning on staying here, that's true?" He started to move around, not looking at my face.

"I don't know, honestly! They don't tell me much. I wasn't with them for that long." Strike two

"Hm, and how many people in your group?" I asked another question in a soft voice.

"I don't know. Ten? I guess now it's less." He still was avoiding my eyes, and I let a sigh escape my lips. Strike three.

"I'm sorry, kid. I told you to not lie to me." I stood up and sat down on a table, gesturing for Daryl to take my place. "All yours, Big Guy."

Daryl nodded and approached the kid. "How many in yur group?"

"I told you!" Randall whispered and tried to move away from the hunter. That's when the first punch was delivered to the kid's face. And then another and another.

"How many in yur group?" Daryl asked again, his voice husky and angry.

"I told you!" The boy cried out when the next hit landed on his face.

"Ya ain't told me shit."

"I barely knew those guys. I met 'em on the road."

"How many in yur group?" I watched Randall, he was shaking his head.

"It's interesting how loyal you are to the guys you barely knew. To the people that left you to be eaten alive by walkers," I commented dryly, watching Daryl. He slowly reached for his hunting knife and crept towards the other man.

"Oh. No, no, no, no." Randall was panicking now, trying to get out of hunter's way, but he was cornered. "Come on, man."

Daryl took a big swing and stabbed the floor between the kid's legs.

"I'll ask you again. How many in your group."

"Thirty, um, thirty guys."

"Where?" When he didn't answer my question, Daryl ripped off the bandage from the boy's leg.

"I don't know! I swear. We were never any place more than a night."

"Scoutin'? Plannin' on stayin' local?"

"I don't know. She's right, they left me behind. And I said they didn't tell me the plan until it happened."

"Did ya ever pick off a scab?" I tried to keep my face straight when Daryl's knife started digging into a kid's leg. Randall cried out in pain, and I made my way towards them. "Ya start very slow first."

"No, please! I'm trying to cooperate here."

"Then later, ya just gotta rip it off," Daryl growled in Randall's face. I bend down to look into the boy's eyes.

"OK. They-- they-- have weapons-- heavy stuff. Automatics." I nodded, finally receiving truth. "But I didn't do anything."

"Ya boys shot at mah boys and mah girl, tried to take this farm. Ya just went along for the ride?" I really hoped that my face didn't show any emotions, even if every part of my body wanted to scream and dance and just pin Daryl down after he called me his. Of course, that would be stupid, because he didn't mean it like that, but crazy butterflies in my belly didn't care. "Ya, just tryin' to tell me yur innocent?"

"Yes!" Randall shouted, scared and intimidated, but not lying. "These-- these people took me in. Not just guys-- a -- a whole group of 'em. Men and women. Uh, kids, too, just like you people." Daryl stood up, and I was the one in front of Randall now.

"And you were on the road all that time, not stopping? Not staying anywhere?" I asked him, and he shook his head.

"They wanted to find a good place. And with so many people it's not easy. I thought I'd have a better chance with them, you know?"

"How did the scouting looked like? Where they hunting in the woods?"

"Mainly scavenging, but Dave was sometimes hunting if we ran out of food. Sometimes more of us." He looked away, deep in thought, and something dark crossed his features. He was clenching his fist and licked his lips before looking at us again.

"Go on."

"One night we-- we found this little campsite. A man and his two daughters. Teenagers, you know?" I was looking at him and could feel my anger rising, I had suspicions of where this story was going. "Real young, real cute. The dad had to watch while these guys, they-- and they didn't even kill 'em afterward. They just -- they just made him watch."

I could feel Daryl shifting behind me, and I rose my hand to let him know to not intervene. So Randall continued, looking directly at me. "His daughters-- just-- just left them there. But I didn't-- I didn't touch those girls. I swear."

I nodded and smirked at him, moving closer to his face. "But you liked it, didn't you? To watch what they were doing." I asked in a low voice.

Randall shifted slightly and looked away from me, and I nodded, licking my lips. I stood up just to swing my body and punch him in the face. I hit him directly in the temple, making him lose consciousness. I watched him for a second with disgust and then kicked him between the legs before I spun around facing Daryl. He was as angry as I was. That was something I learned about him; in his mind, you don't touch women like that. You don't hit her, and you for sure, don't rape her.

"Let's go," I said quietly, moving to the exit.

The group, plus Maggie, was gathered around our campsite, waiting for us. Rick already made a decision, but he wanted confirmation, and now he had it.

"Yur boy, there's got a gang-- thirty men." Daryl started when we approached the tents. "They got heavy artillery, and they ain't looking to make friends."

We exchanged looks before I spoke. "They roll here, we're dead. If we're lucky."

"And if not?" Lori asked, her voice shaky.

"Women would wish to be dead, and they would make the men watch. And then they'd probably kill us and take over the farm," I finished looking at Rick. We didn't have a choice. In my mind, Randall wasn't far from Tony. He might've not to rape anyone yet, but he certainly liked to watch.

"What did you do?" Carol asked, glancing at Daryl's hand.

"We had a little chat." He stated and walked away.

"Find me when you need me," I told Rick and walked after the hunter.

We moved in silence until we reached his tent, far away from the rest of the group, by the edge of a forest.

"You got any water?" I finally asked him. The only response was him getting inside the tent. I sighed and ran a hand over my face.

"Here." I looked up to see him, bottle in his outstretched hand. I grabbed it and nodded before moving towards a big rock that was nearby.

"Sit down." He mumbled something but did, as I said, lowering his crossbow to the ground first. I took out a blue rag out of my back pocket and soaked it in water. Kneeling in front of the man, I gently grabbed his left hand and started to clean it up. This one wasn't as red or bruised as the other, but still needed to be cleaned. The last thing we need right now is our hunter out of commission because he has a fucking infection.

I cleared my throat when I started working on his right hand and looked him in the eyes. Big grin finally spreading on my face.

"So-- I'm yur girl, now?" I asked in the best southern drawl I could make.

"Stop. I didn't mean it like that. Ya know it." He was looking away and was blushing like a virgin.

"Uh-huh."

"Don't get any ideas in yur head, woman."

"Just saying, all you have to do is ask." I winked at him and made him chuckle uncomfortably.

"Shut up."

"Come on, you love it when I flirt with you."

"Nah, I don't." I inspected his hand for one last time and let it go when I was happy with how it looked like. His knuckles were red and bruised but didn't look broken, so there was nothing else I could do for him.

"Hm, I think that secretly you enjoy every second." I looked up, searching for his blue eyes. He finally looked into my grey ones, smirking a little. That just made me smile wider, yes he did like it even if he won't say it out loud. "Do you want to go for a hunt now?"

"Yeah, couldn't go in the morning."

"Great, let go then," I said, putting my bow once again over my shoulders.

"Wait." Daryl grabbed my hand and lifted it up. He watched it for a second before reaching for his own rag. He was concentrating on cleaning blood from my fist, by I was watching him. His blue eyes were squinting, and lips pursued in a line. His big, calloused hands were warm and gentle. Just the fact that he touched me on his own made my chest swell. I don't think Daryl realized himself, how much he grew as a person in the past few weeks.

"I could do it myself, you know?" I told him, making him look up at me. He just shrugged and finished, letting go of my hand.

I watched Daryl stand up and collect his scattered bolts when we heard footsteps. Looking over my shoulder, I spotted Dale making his way to us. Here we go, lecture for sure about beating the poor boy. The hunter beside me scowled and spoke first.

"Whole point of me coming' up here is to get away from ya people."

Dale looked at me pointedly, and I rolled my eyes. "We're going for a hunt. Is there something you need?"

"Well, it's gonna take more than moving to get away." I tensed at that answer and glanced at Daryl. Fucking hell, old man, don't give him any ideas.

"Carol send ya?"

"Carol's not the only one that's concerned about you, both of you and your new role in the group."

"Oh, man, I don't need my head shrunk. She's enough." I rose my eyebrows at Dixon once he pointed at me, so I gave him the finger. But his next words made my stomach clench. "Group's broken, man. I'm better off fendin' for myself."

I looked at Dale, hoping that he will read the warning in my eyes.

"You act like you don't care," Dale replied, and I gave a small sigh.

"It's cause I don't."

"So live or die, you don't care what happens to Randall?"

"Is that's why you here, Dale? To plead his case?" I asked the old man, but his focus was solemnly on Daryl. I just love being ignored.

"Nope," Daryl answered, getting ready to leave for the forest.

"Then why not stand with me-- try to save the kid's life, if it really doesn't matter one way or the other?"

"I didn't peg ya for a desperate son of a bitch."

"Your opinion makes a difference. Both of you." Dale finally looked at me.

"Man, there ain't nobody lookin' to me for nothing."

"Elena is. And Carol." I rolled my eyes again and turned around to follow the hunter. "And-- and I am, right now. And you obviously-- you have Rick's ear."

"Rick just looks to Shane. Let him. He might seek El's advice, but he ain't gonna listen." I wanted to let myself smile proudly, but I subdued it. It was not the time to gloat, even if I knew that his statement was not valid. Rick doesn't trust Shane, not like he used to.

"You cared about what happened to Sophia-- cared what it meant to the group."

"Dale," I said sternly. "She has nothing to do with the situation at hand. Don't bring her up to it."

"Elena, torturing people? That's not you or Daryl. You're both decent people. So is Rick. Shane is different."

"Why's that?" Asked Daryl, his voice huskier than before, I could tell that mentions of Sophia cut deep into his soul. "'Couse he killed Otis?"

Dale looked between both of us; his brows arched in surprise. "He told you that?"

"He told some story, how Otis covered him and saved his ass."

"And then he shows up with all the guns and suspiciously bold spot on his scalp," I added. I had a conversation with Daryl about what happened to Otis. The hunter was more observant than the others, and I knew he won't share my suspicions with anybody. But that gave me someone to watch the crazy officer beside myself. And now it looks like Dale had his own thoughts on the subject.

"Rick ain't stupid. He didn't figure that out, it's 'cause he didn't wanna. It's like I said-- the group's broken." Daryl finished and started to walk away. I looked at Dale one last time and gave him a sad smile before following brown-haired man.

"Daryl, wait." He didn't slow down, so I jogged to him until we were walking shoulder to shoulder. "Rick knows."

"What ya mean?" He squinted his eyes at me, biting his lower lip.

"I don't know if he knows about Otis. But he's aware that Shane is dangerous. I don't agree with Dale's mission to save Randall. You heard him in the shed, you saw how he looked when he told the story." I glanced at him, anger was evident in his eyes once again, and he was holding on to the crossbow tighter than necessary.

"Then what's yur point, woman?"

"My point is that the old man was right about Rick listening to you. And me. He doesn't trust Shane. That's why he asked us to speak to the boy."

Daryl scowled and slowed down a little, shoving me forward, so I can lead the way.

"Whatever."

Standing in the living room, I looked around the room at the faces of people gathered here. All of us were here, except Carl, Beth, and Jimmy, waiting to talk about what to do with Randall. I sat in one of the chairs, by the window, having a great view of everybody.

"So how do we do this? Just take a vote?" Glenn broke the silence.

"Does it has to be unanimous?" Andrea added. All right questions and I looked to Rick, but it was Lori who replied.

"How about majority rules?"

"Well, let's-- let's just see where everybody stands." Rick started saying. "Then, we can talk through the options."

"Well, the way I see it, there's only one way to move forward," Shane said first, and of course, no one was surprised where he stands on this.

"Killing him, right?" Dale spat angrily. "Then why even bother to vote? It's clear which way the wind's blowing."

"Well, if people believe we should spare him, I wanna know," Rick said, leaning his hands on one of the chairs in the middle of the room.

"Well, I can tell you it's a small group. Maybe just me and Glenn." At that, I looked over to the young man and saw him staring blankly at the floor. It was evident that he disagrees with Dale's statement.

"Look, I-- I think you're pretty much right about everything all the time, but this--"

"They've got you scared." Betrayal was heard in Dale's voice as he realized that he stood there by himself, no one supporting his case.

"He's not one of us. And we've-- we've lost too many people already."

"How about you?" Dale pointed at Maggie, reaching for other compassionate souls in the room. "Do you agree with this?"

She was quiet for a moment before looking at Rick. "Couldn't we continue keeping him prisoner?"

"It's just another mouth to feed." Daryl's raspy voice came from the doorway, and he started pacing. He just wanted it all to be over, one way or another, just like me.

"It may be a lean winter," Hershel added.

"We could ration better." Lori contradicted that statement.

"Well, he could be an asset." Dale kept arguing. "Give him a chance to prove himself."

"Put him to work?" Glenn offered.

"We're not letting him walk around," Rick stated, his voice not leaving any space to argue with that.

"We could put an escort on him," Maggie added, it seemed like the group was actually considering it before Shane spoke again.

"And who wanna volunteer for that duty?"

"I will." Dale didn't even hesitate.

"I don't think any of us should be walking around with this guy." Rick rose his voice slightly.

"He's right," Lori spoke softly. "I-- I wouldn't feel safe unless he was tied up."

"Well, we can't exactly put chains around his ankles and sentence him to hard labor," Andrea commented, her arrogant voice made me cringe.

"Yeah, because what we discussing here, is so much better."

"Look, say we let him join us, right?" Shane was speaking again, standing straight and looking around the room. "Maybe-- maybe he's helpful. Maybe he's nice. And we let our guard down. Then maybe he runs off, brings back his thirty men."

"So, the answer is to kill him to prevent a crime that he may never even attempt?" Dale spoke again, not hiding his anger and disappointment. "If we do this, we're saying there's no hope. The rule of law is dead."

"Because it is, Dale," I spoke my voice steady, and I stood up, gathering everyone's attention. "You-- you didn't hear what he told us this morning. You didn't watch his face when he spoke how his buddies raped two young girls and made their daddy watch. You didn't see Randall's face when he talked about this." I looked around, and faces in the room changed. Daryl and I didn't share the specifics of our interrogation before, and now everyone was shocked. "He didn't participate, that's true. But he liked it. So no, there are no laws like there were before. Because before he would be put on a pedophile watchlist, oh, and be put in prison for attempted murder. But things changed, Dale."

"Trying to be a decent human being didn't change." The man's voice was quiet, shaken from what I said, and yet he still insisted on keeping the boy alive.

"No, but what changed is that we need to protect our people from possible threats. And news flash, walkers aren't the only ones. Humans are so much worse, always were, and I doubt that it changed now." I looked back at Rick and shook my head. "I meant what I said yesterday, Grimes. You know, where I stand, I'll wait outside."

I walked away from the group. I didn't want them to see me pushing for someone's death. I am not Shane. I don't want to kill the boy, just because. It needs to be done; otherwise, we are in trouble. Of course, we could try to get him out, far away, knock him unconscious before the drive so he can't memorize the route. Drop him off with supplies and warning to never cross our paths again. I groaned in frustration and pulled at the hairband, making my long locks spill down. I ran a hand through them and started making a braid. Too many if's and what's in the subject of Randall. That's why I left. Whatever they decide will happen, but I was tired of all the arguing and bickering. Just like Daryl said this afternoon, this group's broken, and I wasn't sure what is the right course of action to fix us.

The door behind me slammed on the wall, and Dale rushed past me. I kept my face blank, but by his angry face and fast pace, I could guess what the outcome was.

Randall was going to die.

Rick stepped out of the house, Daryl, and Shane on his heels, and they motioned at me to follow them.

I walked next to the sheriff observing his face. It seemed blank, jaw clenched, but there was sweat forming on his forehead. Only thing signaling that he was nervous and maybe still unsure if he made the right decision.

"I told you before, I can do it," I whispered to him, trying not to be overheard by other men. Randall was walking between Shane and Daryl, hands bonded behind his back.

"No, it has to be me." He replied, and I didn't argue any further. I reached the barn first and quickly opened it, letting them walk in first.

"Put him in there." Rick pointed at the spot he picked, and the boy was pulled towards it. He was looking at us frantically, fear in his eyes, shaking his head.

"It's all gonna be over soon," Shane told him while wrapping a piece of cloth over Randall's eyes.

"Wha-- what's gonna be over soon?"

"Relax."

"Hey, hey. No, no, no!"

Rick pulled out his Colt and checked the bullets before slamming the cylinder back in its place. "Would you like to stand or kneel?"

"Oh, no, please." Randall was pleading, moving his head around even though he couldn't see us. Shane, obviously impatient, pushed him to the ground, so he was kneeling in front of our leader.

"Do you have any final words?"

"Oh, please." Randall was crying at this point, his breath heavy and catching in his throat. "Please, please. Don't."

Slowly, Rick pulled his arm out, gun lined up with Randall's head. Many emotions were flashing across the sheriff's face before he regained his control. Rick cocked the hammer of his Phyton, making the kid shiver and start another round of cries to spare him. I watched Rick move his finger to the trigger when I heard footsteps. Before I could act, a voice came out from the door.

"Do it, dad. Do it." Carl's voice was so sure, so confident, so unlike the boy, he should be. My eyes widened, and I looked at Daryl. He was chewing on his bottom lip and watching the sheriff for his response.

Shane walked to Carl and pushed him out of the barn. "Are you kidding me? What'd I say to you?"

Rick, clenched his jaw and his hand started to shake. I sighed at that view, and we locked eyes for a second, he was searching for something. Finally, after what seemed like hours, he pulled the gun down and shook his head.

"Take him away." He ordered, looking at Daryl and me. The hunter grabbed Randall by the back of his shirt and pulled him up. We walked at a fast pace and pushed past Shane. And let me tell you, he didn't look happy, at all.

We didn't even bother with the ropes or blinds, Daryl just shoved the boy into the shed and chained him back into the post. I secured the shed with a padlock, checking if everything is locked. When Daryl pulled the latch to confirm it's secure, we heard screams coming out of the fields. Not looking back at the man beside me, I sprinted towards the noise.

Daryl's heavy breaths followed me, and shaky light from his lantern was casting shadows in front of me. Soon the screams grew louder, but as I spotted where they came from, they changed. From scared to the cries of pain. I pushed my legs faster and launched myself at the walker that was on top of someone. I knocked it off, Daryl was quick with his hunting knife and stuck it in walker's head.

I scrambled to my feet and turned to the body on the ground.

"Oh, God, Dale," I whispered, kneeling next to him. His belly was ripped open, blood pooling on the ground. I felt my heart drop and tears started forming in my eyes, but I pushed them away. "It's going to be alright."

Daryl stood up and started waving at incoming voices, beaming them to us. I gently took Dale's hand in mine and tried to comfort him.

"Hang in there, buddy," Daryl said after the group spotted us, and he moved towards the man on the ground. They finally reached us, and I stood up, making space for Andrea and Rick.

They were talking, but the only sound I could hear was the fast beating of my heart and blood pumping in my veins. I clenched my fists and put a blank mask over my face.

Death is all around us, and sometimes there is nothing we can do to change it. But it's our choice how we deal with it. Sixty-five days ago, I made a decision, based only on a quick observation of an old man with a kind heart. I chose to join those people and him, I vouched to myself to protect them, and yet again I failed. First, when I couldn't stand with Dale regarding Randall and now because I wasn't fast enough. Maybe if I wasn't hurt a few days ago, perhaps if I didn't stop my training, I would be able to reach him on time. Maybe if I'd stop him from walking away.

All I could do is to stare at the gaping hole in his stomach, while he struggled to breathe. I noticed that the rest of the group joined us. There were fear and tears all over their faces. Hershel stood over Rick and was shaking his head, there was nothing he could do. And even if he did... walker ripped Dale open, with its nails and fingers. He was infected and would turn no matter if we'd manage to patch him up or not.

"Rick!" Hershel grabbed sheriff's shoulders, catching everyone's attention, shaking his head once more.

"No!" Everybody started to sob lauder, as it hit them, there was no way that Dale will survive. He was moaning in pain, and his breath was shaky, erratic.

"He's suffering," Andrea spoke, not looking away from the man in front of her. "Do something!"

Rick stood over our dying friend and reluctantly reached for his gun, tears covering his face as well. It was like watching a movie. I was there, but at this same time, I wasn't. I tried so hard to detach myself from the scene ahead, but when Rick visibly shook, unable to pull the trigger, some strangled noise escaped my lips. I quickly covered my mouth with a hand and watched Daryl gently grabbing the Python out of the sheriff's hand.

The hunter kneeled down beside Dale and pointed a gun at his head. Sorrow and grief visible on his face. They locked eyes, and Daryl spoke in a low, husky, full of emotional voice.

"Sorry, brother." And then he pulled the trigger, and I couldn't hold my tears anymore. Not just for Dale, but also for Daryl. I knew for a fact that it was the first time he killed another human being. And my heart arched for him and what it'll do to him. No matter the circumstances, killing is not easy, and I was scared of how it will affect the already scarred hunter.

I turned around, walking away from the scene, back to my tent. Far away from others, to cry in silence, without their prying eyes.

So, yeah. Sometimes your world can change in a matter of seconds, and there isn't anything you can do to change it, no matter how hard you try. Today was that day for us.


	22. Chapter 22

**Day 66**

_"Dale could get under your skin. He sure got undermine. Because he wasn't afraid to say exactly what he thought, how he felt. That kind of honesty is rare and brave."_

Morning service was once again different from the first one we shared just two weeks ago. We buried Dale under the tree, next to Sophia. Rick's speech was long and moving. I was wondering where the hell he takes all those words from. We were quiet, standing in a circle. This morning was colder, a visible sign of fast-approaching winter. I had my furry vest on, and it kept me warm. I was playing with buttons that Carol fastened to the front, half-listening to what sheriff was saying. I could feel eyes burning a hole at the back of my head, where Daryl stood.

Nothing surprising, I didn't really speak to anyone since I emerged from the tent. What was there to say? We fucked up, and my last words to the man we just put in the ground were venomous and hateful. That's something that will stay with me for the rest of my life. Not the first bitter stain on my subconscious, and probably not the last either, but that didn't change how I felt at this moment.

_"Whenever I'd make a decision, I'd look at Dale. He'd be looking back at me with that look he had. We've all seen it one time or another."_

"Shane, you take T-Dog, Andrea, and Daryl to the south side. Check all fences, make sure there isn't any blind spot. Glenn, Elena, you with me. We gonna check the northern side." My head jumped up at Rick's words. Once again, I was lost to my own thoughts.

"Let me get my weapons," I whispered.

"I'll grab tools," Glenn added, and we both started walking back towards the camp. I managed maybe five steps before someone put a hand on my shoulder, spinning me to them.

"Ya alright?" I scoffed and turned my head away.

"Gotta be." He didn't smile or smirk, but his eyes sparked up at the words he used just days ago. I promised to make it a thing.

"Be careful out there, will ya?"

"Always." I patted his chest and made my way to my tent.

_"I couldn't always read him, but he could read us. He saw people for who they were. He knew things about us-- the truth, who we really are."_

"He knew," Glenn spoke after we got in the car and drove to the edge of the property. Rick and I looked at him in the mirror, not really sure what he's talking about. "Dale. He knew that you cared about him."

I shifted in my seat to take a look at the back seat, where the Asian man sat. His eyes were pointed at me, so I gave a dry laugh.

"Did he?" I shook my head and scowled at the memories of last night. "Our last conversation with him was far from warm and loving."

"But he knew," Rick added, not taking his eyes off the path. "He had us there for him, just before-- He knew."

"Yeah, maybe." I turned to look out of the window, not really feeling like talking anymore. That's why I didn't get close to people before the turn. Too many possibilities, too much to lose. And the pain never leaves, it just gets buried further down.

We got out of the car when Rick killed the engine and started tracking through the tall grass. There wasn't anything out of order as long as we could tell. There were a few holes at the bottom of the fence in some places. But it wasn't anything more than probably a fox. Nevertheless, we closed them with zip ties and slowly started going back to the car.

"Glenn?" I said to catch the attention of a man in front of me. He slowed down his pace and waited for me to catch up. "Did you fix things with Maggie?"

"I don't think it's the time or your business." Uh, our boy starts showing claws.

"I think there isn't a better time. Last night is a perfect example of how quickly everything can change," I said in a soft voice, looking ahead. "You don't want to regret your choices, just because you think you let us down." I stopped, and so did Glenn, looking me in the eyes, visibly upset. About Maggie or maybe because I mentioned Dale, I couldn't tell.

"You didn't do anything, Rick, or I wouldn't do. Someone shoots at you, you take a fucking cover. Simple. No need to be an idiot and make it into something it's not." I finished and moved forward to the car.

_"In the end, he was talking about losing our humanity. He said this group is broken. The best way to honor him is to unbreak it, set aside our differences, and pull together, stop feeling sorry for ourselves."_

"Andrea?" I stood behind the blonde woman and watched her flinch at the sound of my voice. We were back at the camp, discussing the safety measurements for the farm. I was thinking hard about what Rick said at Dale's funeral and decided that I should at least make an effort. For the old man who died a pointless death.

The woman turned around, facing me and looked at me questioningly. I stretched my arm out, offering her my right hand. Andrea looked at me, her brows furrowed, and then down. After a moment of hesitation, she grabbed it and shook it.

"I think we're both guilty of rush decisions. I don't necessarily agree with how you doing some things, but I know you do care for this group."

"Look, I'm sorry. About Daryl, and about Beth. I admit that I didn't think through neither," She answered, and lowered her head in shame. I just nodded at that and pulled my hand back from her grip.

"I'm sorry about Dale." I offered quietly, and she sent me a sad smile at that. Happy, that somewhat we are on the right page, I walked to Rick.

Don't get me wrong, Andrea, and I will never be friends. But indeed, we need to try to stitch this group back together, and if apologizing is what I need to do, then I will. Even if I don't exactly mean it. I'll still be watching her and try to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid again.

_"Take control of our lives, our safety, our future. We're not broken. We're gonna prove him wrong. From now on, we're gonna do it his way. That is how we honor Dale."_

I reached the truck, which was surrounded by the rest of the group, and caught what Rick was saying.

"It'll be tight, fifteen people in one house."

"Don't worry about that," Hershel replied. So, I guess we're moving in. That's great, with the impending change of weather, we needed that. But at this same time, I was anxious about being squashed with all these people in a small space. It will quickly get annoying and tiring.

"With the swamp hardening, the creek drying up--" Hershel continued just to be interrupted by his older daughter.

"With fifty head of cattle on the property, we might as well be ringing a damn dinner bell."

"She's right. We should have moved you in a while ago."

"All right, let's move the vehicles near each of the doors, facing out towards the road." Rick started giving directions, and we all began to pack and taking down our tents. I looked over at Daryl and walked over, standing next to him.

"So..."

"What ya want?"

"Are you moving in with us?" I asked him, and he scowled at me.

"Yeah."

"Oh, Big Boy. Don't look so excited, I might get blinded by all that happiness radiating out off you." Daryl smirked at my reply and shook his head.

"We will build a lookout in the windmill and another in the barn loft." Rick continued, and I was glad that he actually used the idea I shared with him. "That should give us sightlines both sides of the property. T-Dog, you take the perimeter around the house, keep track of everyone coming and going."

"What about standing guard?" Asked the Black man.

"Well, I need Elena and Daryl on double duty." At that, we both nodded, and I stepped away to my tent. Luckily I didn't have many things, so they still fit into my backpack and duffel back.

I was walking next to Rick and Hershel, after we loaded the rest of the camping equipment into the RV, and started to come back to the house, for the last time.

"I think it would be good to leave some of the supplies in the cars. Like spare clothes, maybe some food," I spoke, my mind was spinning from ideas and plans for potential evacuation.

"You think we need it?"

"I don't know, Hershel. Maybe not. But it would be better to be ready just in case, than being rushed out of the farm without anything."

"OK. Shane is gonna make the windmill lookout, and Daryl will fix the shed's roof. Try to organize it before we have to take Randall out." Rick nodded and smiled at my idea.

"I see why you're not taking Shane with you," Hershel commented out of the blue. "Just know, I've got no more patience where he's concerned."

"He's turning over a new leaf." I snorted at Rick's reply, and both men looked over at me.

"I'm sorry, but I doubt that."

"Elena. He is. He will."

"OK, officer, whatever you say."

He shook his head and called over to the woman in front of us.

"Andrea." She stopped and turned around. "When I'm out with Elena and Daryl, help Hershel keep an eye on things here." Oh, you gotta be fucking with me, Grimes. Seriously, you're asking her to do it?

"Me?" She asked and started walking again, alongside with us.

"Shane's got a way of letting things get out of hand, especially when he's all torqued up," Rick told her, and I saw her scowl at that description.

"I think we're all a bit torqued up at this point." She replied diplomatically, still trying to defend the crazy guy, without dismissing what Rick says.

"If you're staying here permanently, he's gotta understand that it's what Rick and I say, not whatever he wants," Hershel said sternly, gesturing between two men.

"You've become close," Rick added, and I noticed Andrea flinch at that, probably wondering how much he knows.

"We talk."

"Then you know he's not a bad guy. He's just his own worst enemy."

"You want me to babysit Shane?"

"No," I offered. "But you have a way of reaching to his reasonable side when he's full of emotions."

"I need to make sure every time I leave the farm, all hell doesn't break loose."

"Then maybe you should stop leaving," Andrea answered Rick, and with her head high, she started to walk away. I groaned under my nose. Keeping a promise to Dale would be harder than I thought.

"Will you keep an eye on things?" Rick called after her.

"Of course."

"Cocky, much?" I commented quietly, making Hershel smile.

I asked everyone to hand me over a spare set of their clothes, grabbing a few extra from Greene's wardrobes, including some warmer t-shirts. I packed it neatly into bags and placed them on the porch. I wanted to put it into the Hyundai, but I'd have to wait for Shane to finish building a watchtower.

I selected some canned food that would last us a couple days in case of emergency, stashed it into plastic boxes, and loaded onto Hershel's car. A few spare blankets went on top of it in the trunk, and so did a box of basics pots.

I was standing now with Rick and Daryl on a porch, and we were talking about the best place to take Randall.

"Take him out to Senoia, an hour there, an hour back, give or take. We may lose the light, but we'll be halfway home by then." Rick was saying, and I nodded my head. It was the opposite direction of the town we met Randall's group and not on the way to Nebraska.

"And this whole pain in the as will be a distance memory. Good riddance." I smiled at Daryl's comment and watched him for a moment while he was pacing. I need to stop doing it. I need to stop thinking about how he looks like, or what his mannerism is. At least until this stupid crush will disappear. Honestly, it started to be annoying, and more and more people began to overthink it. And most importantly, Daryl's friendship meant too much to me, to jeopardize it by romantic feelings.

"Carol's putting together some provisions for him, enough to last a few days."

"We'll give him a knife and adios," I added.

In far, I could see a car, fast approaching, and I tensed a little bit. A natural reaction by now, when Shane was present.

"That thing you did last night." Rick started, looking over at the hunter, who sat down on the porches railing.

"Ain't no reason ya should do all heavy liftin'." Daryl's voice was soft. It's incredible how his relationship with the sheriff change recently. There was that mutual respect, and that thought made me smile widely at both men.

"So, you both are good with this?"

"Yeah," I replied, nodding my head, watching Shane park the car in front of the house.

"I ain't see us trading haymakers on the side of the road," Daryl said, standing up. "Nobody'd win that fight."

I snorted, catching their attention and put my hands on my hips. " _I_ would totally win." Rick looked at me seriously while Daryl smirked and patted me on the shoulder before pushing me out of the way.

"Tell yurself that, princess. I'm gonna take a piss."

"Suttle, as always." My comment would be funnier if not for the quick pace of the bold man. "I'm going to grab my weapons and eat something before we go."

Rick asked us to wait for a little, he had to talk to Carl about something. I was sitting at the tail of a T-Dog's pick-up, my legs swinging freely. We were smoking cigarettes, and somehow I managed to make Daryl play twenty questions with me.

"OK, next one. Favorite ice-cream flavor?"

"Why am I playin' this, again?" Daryl cocked his head, looking to his side. He was leaning over the car, on my left, giving me a perfect view of his prominent arm muscles, even under the sleeves. No! Bad Elena, naughty thoughts!

"Come on, Daryl. Entertain me. Mine is vanilla."

"Strawberry." He looked over at me and started chewing on his thumb. "Any siblings?"

"No, I'm afraid. It's actually something I was always envious of. The majority of my friends had at least one, and even if they were annoying, there was that special bond, you know?" He nodded at my response, looking to be rooted in thoughts.

"Favourite color?"

"Dunno."

"Ugh, why do you have to be so stubborn, Dixon? Mine is blue or purple."

He sent me a look that would make most people back of, but I just smiled at him. "You can't intimidate me, Daryl."

"Fine. Grey or brown."

"See, that wasn't that hard."

He mumbled something under his nose. Just as the hunter was about to open his mouth to ask me another question, we noticed T slowly walking in our direction. He was holding a handgun and handed it over to Daryl once he was close.

"Only got so many arrows."

"Is that Dale's gun?" The hunter asked, checking the ammunition inside the cylinder.

"Yeah."

"Wish I knew where the hell mine is." Daryl scowled and put the gun in his waistband.

"You should keep a better eye on your stuff then."

"Shut up, woman."

"Ready?" Asked Rick, when he reached us. T-Dog shut the tailgate, and I made myself more comfortable inside it.

"Always."

"Yeah."

"I'll get the package." T offered and took a key from the sheriff.

"Thanks."

I looked through the pack that was prepared for Randall, checking if there isn't anything dangerous or if it's not too much. Couple cans, some meat portions in zip lock bags, two water bottles. He'll have to scavenge, as soon as we drop him off, but that's his problem.

I stretched out and stood up in the back of the pick-up, pulling my aviators over my eyes. I looked over in the direction of a shed and saw T-Dog running to us and shouting something.

"... gone!"

"What?" I screamed back and jumped out of the car, swinging my bow over the shoulder. He just stopped and started waving at us to follow him. For fuck sake, did the kid escape? If so, how was it even possible?

Well, apparently, it was possible. On the blanket where Randall was sleeping, we found a pair of bloody handcuffs. Daryl rechecked the roof, confirming that the planks he nailed in today were still untouched. I grabbed the cuffs and studied them.

"There aren't any scratches on those," I told the men, looking up from the ground. "He didn't just pry them open, they were unlocked."

I glanced between them, and my eyes landed on Rick. The only person who actually had the key. Except for the other cop, who also had the standard-issue set, which would work. The sheriff nodded and walked out to take a look at the padlock.

"It was locked when I came in." T-Dog was explaining.

"Shane," I muttered under my breath, catching the attention of the hunter. He looked angry and was pacing the small space before offering me his hand. I gladly grabbed it, and he yanked me up.

"I really think it was Shane." He grunted in answer, and we left the shed, spotting the rest of the group who ran in our direction.

"What's wrong?" Maggie asked when she reached Glenn, who came over just moments ago.

"Randall's missing."

"Missing? How?"

"How long's he been gone?"

"It's hard to say." Rick finally answered, standing in front of them. "The cuffs are still hooked. He must have slipped them." When sheriff said that, he looked at me with a stern look. OK, so we're not informing them that potentially one of us let the kid go. Awesome, nothing like a trust in the group. Didn't he give a big speech about that, just this morning?

"Is it possible?" Carol asked.

"It is if you've got nothing to lose," Andrea replied, and I agreed with her even if I didn't think it was the case.

"You just have to break your finger." I shrugged and walked over to the lock, checking for any signs of force or marks, but there were none.

"The door was secured from the outside," Hershel commented from next to me, closing the door.

"Yeah, it was."

"Alrighty, guys. We need to find him. Daryl and I can try to track him." I told them, and Rick instantly nodded. "The best bet--"

"Rick!" I wasn't able to finish the plan, because Shane just ran out of the woods. He was panting and sweating. His face was covert in blood, the big nose bruised, clearly broken. I pressed my lips into a thin line. I was sure he was the one who got the kid out, but why does he look like he was in a fight.

"What happened!" Lori shouted when she spotted the man.

"He's armed! He's got my gun!" I glanced quickly at Daryl, and he bit his bottom lip, shaking his head slightly. He's right. It's not the time. If there is any chance that Shane was telling the truth, we had to find Randall, before he brings his group into the farm.

"You OK?" Carl was worried about the man. He always looked up to him, especially at the beginning, back at the quarry.

"I'm fine. Little bastard just snuck up on me, clocked me in the face."

"Alright. Hershel, T-Dog, get everybody back in the house." Rick started giving orders, and people began to move. "Elena, Glenn, Daryl, come with us."

"T, I'm gonna need that gun," Shane said, asking for a weapon. The black man hesitated for a second before handing it over. I felt my stomach twist, something I usually felt during the cases, just before the takedown. Adrenaline started running through my body, and I moved to follow Rick.

"Just let him go. That was the plan, wasn't it?" Carol asked, she was scared, and I couldn't blame her, but what she was proposing was not an option.

"The plan was to cut him loose far away from here, not on our front step with a gun," Rick explained and started for a tree line.

"Don't go out there. Y'all know what can happen."

"We going to be fine, Carol," I told her and joined the others, trying to stay close to the hunter. I wasn't scared of Shane, but I wasn't going any near him. He had that crazy blink again, deep in his eyes, and I started to have a bad feeling about all of this.

"Get everybody back in the house, lock all the doors, and stay put," Rick ordered one last time, and we walked away, not looking back.

"I saw him head up through the trees that way before I blacked out." Shane pointed the direction. I secured my bow on my back and took out the handgun. Reaching into my back pocket, I felt the cold metal of the suppressor and quickly attached it to the barrel. "I'm not sure how long."

"He couldn't have gotten far," Rick said, and I added to his answer.

"His leg is still busted, he will be slower than us."

"Yeah, and he's exhausted."

"And armed," Glenn said dryly.

"Can you track him?" Rick asked, stopping and turning toward Daryl and me. I looked down on the ground, but only visible footsteps were ours.

"Nah, I don't see nothing," Daryl replied.

"Hey, look, there ain't no point use in tracking him, OK?" Shane said from behind us. "He went that way. We just need to spread out. We just chase him down. That's it."

"Kid was a buck-25 soaking wet, ya trying to tell us he got a jump on ya?" Hunter's voice was husky as he stared down at Shane, who got closer to him.

"I say a rock pretty much evens those odds, wouldn't you?"

"All right, all right. Knock it off." Rick stopped them from arguing any further. "You three start heading up the right flank. Me and Shane will take the left."

"Are you sure?" I asked him, searching for his eyes. He just gave me a nod before continuing.

"Remember, Randall's not the only threat out there. Keep an eye out for each other."

It got dark, way quicker than we anticipated. We were searching the woods for at least an hour already. Walking in circles, and trying to look for any traces on the forest floor. So far, we didn't spot anything, but it wasn't surprising considering that it was dark as hell.

"Daryl, it's pointless," I spoke up, looking at the hunter, being in the woods at this hour was more dangerous, having Glenn who wasn't used to it didn't help. I gave him specific instructions to stick by my side no matter what. No wandering off if he needs to stop to say so.

"Ya got a light?" Daryl turned to us, and I shook my head, but Glenn reached to his pocket and handed it over.

"You had a light all this fucking time and didn't say anything?" I asked the Asian man, and he shifted his weight before nodding.

"I forgot about it."

"Idiot," I muttered under my breath and walked over to Daryl.

"There ain't a trail." The hunter whispered to me, and I crouched down to check for myself.

"We should go back and start fresh."

"Oh, come one." Once again, Glenn and I followed Daryl, walking in a quick pace back towards the farm, where we could start tracing the kid and find him. We wasted enough time already.

When we reached the place where we separated from Rick and Shane, the hunter started looking for footsteps. I was next to him, observing the leaves and twigs, searching for any kind of bootprints, which wasn't ours.

"We're just back to square one." I rolled my eyes at Glenn's comments and kept looking on the ground, walking slightly to the right, further than where we went to.

"If yur gonna do a thing, ya might as well do it right," Daryl replied, following behind me. "Ya got something, El?

"I think so." I crouched down and pointed to the spot that I was looking at. "What you think?"

The man shone a light onto the path and started slowly in the direction I showed him.

"Yeah, looks like him."

"OK, come on, Glenn. Watch the back." I waved the other man over, and we started after Daryl, he was looking at the ground, and I walked next to him. My gun was in one hand, and knife in the other, ready to react if something would jump on us.

"There're two sets of tracks right here," Daryl said after a while, and I swore under my nose. "Shane must have followed him a lot longer than he said."

"You and me both know that's not what happened," I told him dryly, and he just nodded.

"What you mean?" Glenn asked from behind me.

"Think about it. There were no signs that Randall broke through the cuffs. I doubt that he's smart enough to break his thumbs to get free. Doors weren't busted. Someone opened them and then locked them back."

"There's fresh blood on this tree." Daryl pointed the flashlight higher, and we saw the spot he was talking about. I walked over and touched the liquid. It was cold but not dried yet, I sniffed my fingers and shook my head.

"Not walkers. What you say, right high for Shane's face?"

"Yeah."

"There's more tracks here, Daryl."

"Looks like they're walking in tandem." The hunter stated, confirming my suspicions. Glenn looked scared and like he couldn't believe what I said before. "Yeah, there's a little dust-up right here."

"What do you mean?" Glenn asked him, while I crouched down, looking for blood.

"It means something went down."

"It's getting weird."

"Guys," I said once I spotted black piece on the floor, Randall's blindfold. I bend down to pick it up when we heard twigs snapping behind us. Daryl pulled me with him, pressing us to one of the trees, while Glenn was hiding on our right. I grabbed my handgun tighter, but it wasn't easy considering the position I was in. I was looking to the side, towards the Asian man, but the only thing I could think of was Daryl was pressing against me.

Oh, and his fucking crossbow that was digging uncomfortably into my stomach and breasts. I could feel his breath on my face, and a shiver went down my spine. He whistled quietly and threw a flashlight at Glenn, making sure he has both hands free to use his weapon.

The shuffling of the feet and groans got closer, telling us that it's a walker, and he was moving towards us. I stilled and took a deep silent breath, trying to calm my nerves down, anticipation was killing me. But taking down the walker in the dark was more dangerous than usual, and we had to do it carefully. I put my gun in the holster and stretched for my hunting knife that was strapped to my things; with how Daryl was pressing me into the tree, I couldn't reach my reins.

I watched Glenn move when he stepped out from behind his hiding spot, hatchet above his head, ready to strike approaching walker and flashlight shining over it. But then he hesitated, and the geek was right on him, pushing him to the ground. Daryl spun around and released one of the bolts, but in the dark and with walker launching himself at the hunter, it missed. It grabbed the crossbow and pushed Daryl down, onto the knees.

Not wasting any more time, I pushed myself forward, grabbing the walker's hair, yanking his head and snapping jaws up, away from Daryl. My knife sunk into the skull, making it go limp on top of the man. Kicking it down, I freed Daryl and help him stand up, looking him up and down for any scratches, but luckily I didn't see any.

"Thanks." He grunted and asked Glenn to shine over the body. When the light reached the walker's face, a gasp escaped my lips.

"Well, I guess we found Randall." Daryl and I crouched next to the walker on the ground and started inspecting and looking for bites or any other wounds.

"Got his neck broke." Daryl noticed, and indeed, that was the cause of death. He moved body onto its stomach so we could check the back, but again there was nothing. How is that possible?

"Guys, there are no bites," I told the men, hunter's face showing that he was deep in thought, and Glenn was just confused.

"Yeah, none that you can see." The young man said, but I shook my head at him.

"Nah, El's right. There ain't any bites. And he died from this."

"How is that possible?" We looked at each other, but none of us had any answers.

I mean, I had a few but didn't think it was wise to say them out loud. There may be a scratch somewhere we can't see, of course. And if that's the case and Shane indeed broke Randall's head, the boy would turn.

The other option seemed ridiculous, but on the other hand, it would explain a lot. It would reveal how it all fucking started and where the patient zero came from. Considering that the _'zombie'_ part of the virus kicks in after the death, according to Jenner, then it would mean...

No, that's just ridiculous. Or maybe not, but wouldn't we notice it before? No, we wouldn't, all the people from our group that died, where bitten or scratched. And we didn't really interact with other groups, not long enough to get that kind of knowledge.

I noticed that Glenn was pacing nervously, ready to head back, and when Daryl started to stand up, I grabbed his hand. He looked down at me and help me up to my feet. I used it to get closer to him. I know that my face was more expressive than before, but at this moment I didn't care. That one thought scared the shit out of me, and I had to share it.

"Daryl, what if-- what if we are all infected?" I whispered to him, making his eyes go wide. I saw him chew on his lip, deep in thoughts.

"Don't say anything yet. Let's go back." He answered in a low voice and turned around to where we came from.

Fuck, what if we are all infected, if it's already inside us, just dormant. Bite, or a scratch itself, is just something that kills you slower, but if you die, the virus inside still kicks in, gets activated or whatnot and...

_Fuck._


	23. Chapter 23

We were near the house when the first gunshot sounded through the air. It came from behind the barn, but the way it echoed it wasn't that close. Daryl, Glenn, and I stopped for a second listening for anything else. After a few minutes behind the first one, another one was heard.

"Should we check it?" Glenn asked, and I tensed my jaw.

"Not yet. Let's go back in, calm everyone down, tell the rest about Randall." I said and started moving forward, we just came out of the forest.

"We'll wait for Rick for a bit. If he's not back, I'll go." Daryl added, and I heard his footsteps right behind me.

"You won't go by yourself, Big Boy."

There weren't any more sounds, and the farm was empty, everyone obviously hiding inside the house, like they were told. The closer we came, the brighter lights were, showing that indeed the group was safe in the building.

They were on us the minute we stepped through the doors.

"Rick and Shane ain't back?" Daryl asked before I could.

"No," Lori answered, looking at us confused; after all, they didn't know that we split up from the other men.

"We heard a shot." Great, let's make them more worried and nervous, Dixon.

"Maybe they found Randall."

"No, we found him," I said, moving towards my bags. My backpack was still packed, and so was the duffel full of guns. No one touched them, and I was grateful for that.

They're not back, Shane's crazy and there were gunshots. Yep, I'm going after them and better be ready for anything than being unprepared.

"Is he back in the shed?" Patricia asked about the kid.

"He's a walker," Daryl replied softly, and we watched people in the room sighed in relief but tense at this same time.

"Did you find the walker that bit him?" Hershel's question made me chuckle darkly, and that caught their attention.

"He wasn't bitten."

"His neck was broke," Daryl added quickly, a warning in his eyes.

"So, he fought back." Patricia tried to find a reasonable and realistic answer, but I knew that it was not that.

"The thing is Shane and Randall's tracks were right on top of each other. And Shane ain't no tracker, som he didn't come up behind him. No, they were together."

"Would you please get back out there and find Rick and Shane, and find out what on earth is going on?" Lori asked Daryl, tears in her eyes, and the hunter nodded, his features softening.

"Ya got it. El, move, woman."

"Charming, as always, Dixon." I followed him through the door running into his back when he stopped dead in his tracks. I furrowed my brows and walked around him to tell him off when I noticed why he stopped.

"Um, fuck. I guess that's not good." Andrea and Glenn behind me gasped when they saw a horde of walkers in the distance. I ran back inside the house, telling others what's happening. Backpack on, bow over it with my gun bag in my hands; I stepped out into the porch, to see what is happening and why nobody was fucking moving.

"Patricia, kill the lights." I heard Hershel speaking to the woman.

"I'll get the guns." Andrea walked past me, patting my shoulder.

"Maybe they're just passing like the herd on the highway," Glenn said, the uncertainty evident in his voice. "Should we just go inside?"

"Not unless there's a tunnel downstairs I don't know about," Daryl commented.

"He's right. They will rip the house down. Go, grab the basic things, get ready to leave." I turned around to the women, and they all nodded, Carol, Beth, and Lori running back inside.

"Carl's gone," Lori said when she came back moments later, Carol next to her both scared and unsure of what to do.

"What?"

"He-- he was upstairs. I can't find him anywhere."

"Maybe he's hiding." Glenn offered. This fucking kid, always getting in trouble.

"He's supposed to be upstairs." Lori was breathing heavily when she spoke. "I'm not leaving without my boy."

"We're not," Carol told her, and I nodded, stepping next to them.

"Exactly. You and Carol go recheck the house, every room, basement. Go." Fuck, how did that happened? Did those gunshots lead the herd here? But they weren't anywhere near the house, so maybe it was Rick and Shane. They shot at something, and then the walkers followed them in here. That's good, it'd mean that they are still alive.

When Andrea came back, we opened our gun bags, so others could get them. I wasn't too sure about sharing mine. I had my collapsed sniper Barrett M107, and my three spare handguns. One shotgun which I passed to Hershel along with ammo. But the most priced once were two MP5's on the bottom of the bag. I grabbed three extra clips for my Glock and put them in the back pocket of my jeans.

I watched Maggie take two shotguns out of the other bag and pass one to her boyfriend, who was utterly surprised.

"Maggie--"

"You grow up in a country, you pick up a thing or two." She interrupted him and started loading the weapon.

"I got the numbers," Daryl kept looking at the approaching herd. "It's no use."

"You can go if you want," Hershel answered, cocking the shotgun, and we all looked at him.

"Hershel, we all have to go. There's too many." I told him softly.

"We have guns. We have cars."

"Kill as many as we can," Andrea added from next to me, loading Dale's rifle. "Then, we use cars to lead the rest of them off the farm."

I exchanged a look with Daryl for a moment before he turned back to the old man. "Are you serious?"

"This is my farm. I'll die here." I couldn't believe what he's saying. We had to leave, like five minutes ago, and they were considering staying and fighting? Wasting ammo and risk our lives? For what, an old fucking farmhouse.

"All right. It's a good night as any." Daryl replied and swang himself over the railing.

"You fucking crazy idiots," I grunted and reached for the MP5, extra magazines gone in my pockets. I zipped the bag and stood up.

"Dixon!" I shouted after him. "Be careful!"

"Always." He replied and then ran over to his bike.

"OK. T, Andrea, take the pick-up, go in that direction. Maggie, Glenn, take the Hyundai and go there." I quickly ordered them and handed Glenn my duffel. "Put it in the car, please. There's spare ammo if you need it."

"What about you?" The Asian man asked me, and I nodded towards Hershel.

"I'll stay with him. Make sure he doesn't fucking die. Jimmy take the RV and go towards the barn, cover Daryl if necessary."

The young man nodded and ran towards the Winnebago, turning towards the horde. They were closer now, and Hershel started shooting at walkers who got closer to the house.

"Fucking hell," I repeated Dixon's movements, and seconds later was standing next to the older man, using my Glock to take out the geeks.

I could tell that trying to lead them away by cars wasn't working. There were too many noises; the dead were confused. On top of that, someone set the barn on fucking fire. Giving me a new spark of hope that Rick is alive.

By the time walkers started to group more together in front of us, I had used two clips on my Glock and put it away into the holster. I rose the automatic and pressed the butt to my shoulder, gripping the gun tightly. Looking down through the custom scope, I started to fire, hoping to hit and slow down as many as I could.

"I don't think it's Agency issued weapon," Hershel commented while reloading, and I snorted, but the sound was lost in the chaos around us.

"I like guns."

"Hmm."

Nice chat, but how about shooting and not dying? My shoulder hurt from the constant force, to which I wasn't used to anymore, but I gritted my teeth and ignored it. Once Hershel cocked the gun again, I stepped back to eject the magazine and replace it with a spare.

I don't know how long we were standing there, firing, for how long cars were going in circles. It seemed like hours but probably was just minutes, adrenaline cutting off my sense of time. Still, with so many corpses on the ground, they seemed to keep coming from the field and woods. We going to run out of bullets before we finish it. I spotted T's car and waved him over, to come back to the house.

"Hold the front, will you?" I told Hershel and not waiting for an answer I ran back into the house. Women were watching through the windows, and when I came in, they surrounded me.

"Grab what you can and head for T-Dog's pick-up. We need to get the fuck out of here." I told them and grabbed Daryl's backpack from under the window. I already looked and felt like a camel, but it was not the time to complain about that.

"I'm not leaving without Carl!" Lori shouted at me, and I grabbed her shoulders.

"Lori. He's fine. He is a strong, smart young boy. I think he might have run off when he heard the first shot." I told her in a soft voice, searching for her eyes to show her that I was not worried. Even if it was the biggest lie of the evening.

"He's just a boy."

"I know. Look, someone set the barn on fire. I think Carl found Rick and they trying to make it back here, created a distraction. But you won't help anyone if you stay here. What would I tell Rick once we find him?"

"OK, alright. You're right. Where do we go?"

"Highway, by the car, we left for Sophia. That's the spot we all know. If they're not here, they would for sure go there." I looked at the women and nodded at them. "Come on, grab what you can and go!"

Once again, I left the house and spotted T coming around, once he was close enough, I shouted at him. "Wait for the women and take them away!"

I saw him nod, so I stepped back to Hershel. There were more walkers piled up, but there were still so many coming. I positioned the gun back against my shoulder and started the assault once again. Focusing on the walkers in front of me, I half-heard shouting when Carol urged other women to follow her towards the car.

It was absolute chaos, screams, yells, groaning of walkers, and guns firing all mixed in with each other.

It took minutes until I finally couldn't hear any other voices, the cars disappeared, and I turned to Hershel, who was bravely pumping his shotgun. We kept turns to reload, now it was his turn, so when he moved to stay behind me, I looked down the scope to take down the closest geeks.

The issue with machine guns is that they are less accurate, and it's harder to keep them in position, especially if you shooting for an extended amount of time. My shoulder was throbbing, and I was sure that come the morning I'll have a huge bruise, that is if we'll get to live in the morning. But I wasn't so sure about that, the only solution would be to physically pull Hershel towards the car.

Someone fired from behind me, but it wasn't sound of a shotgun, I turned quickly around pointing my gun in that direction, just to see Rick and Carl. He was standing behind Hershel, dead walker behind him.

"Where's Lori?" Was the first question sheriff asked us.

"T got them out. I told them to go to the highway."

"We have to go!" I agreed, but Hershel was still adamant about the farm and leaving it behind. "Find mom and the others."

"It's my farm."

"Not anymore!" Rick grabbed Hershel's arm and started to lead him to the car. I was watching their backs, firing at the walkers that got too close.

"Come on, Elena!"

Rick and Carl got to the car first taking the front seats, I pushed Hershel onto the back and quickly followed him, shutting the door, and we took off.

The old man was looking out of the back window, watching his home slowly disappearing from our view. I sat straight, thinking about the rest of us. The cars where gone, T knows where to go. I had to have faith that Glenn and Daryl will too.

Daryl, I haven't seen him since he took off at the very beginning. Neither did I hear his bike for a while before we left. All worst scenarios ran through my head, including the fact that maybe he finally left. No, I shook my head, scowling at myself, he wouldn't do something like that. He promised he would tell me, plus he seemed to accept the group more in the past days.

**Day 67**

We were quiet all the way to the highway, and when we finally reached, it was already morning. My heart dropped when I didn't see any of the others, as we parked next to the car we used for Sophia. The writing was still there, now covered in dust, and so were the supplies we left for the girl.

I got out of the car and walked over to them, grabbing them, loading to the trunk.

"Wait, where's mum?" Carl asked, looking around, finally realizing that we were the only ones here. "You said she'd be here."

He was talking to Rick, but I still felt terrible, it was me who told them where Lori went, and now she was gone. I cleared my throat and walked over to them.

"I told your mom to come here. We took a direct road, but I don't think the others did. It'll just take them longer to reach us." I really hoped this explanation would be enough for the boy.

"But why are we running?" He shouted in my face and then turned to his dad. "What are you doing? It's it is mom. We need to get her and not, not be safe a mile away."

"Ssh, ssh." Rick bent down to his son, putting a hand on the kid's shoulder, trying to calm him down. "We need to be quiet, all right? Please?"

Carl put his face down, for a second I thought he's going to cry, but then his face became angry once again. "Please? It's mom."

"Carl, listen--"

"No!" He walked away to our car and stood, facing the direction of a farm, looking out for others to come.

"Rick," Hershel started once we reached him. "You've got to get your boy and Elena to safety. I'll wait here for my girls and the others. I know a few places. We'll meet up with them later."

"Where?" Rick replied, looking agitated. "Where's safe? We're not splitting up."

"I agree, that would be stupid idea, dangerous. We just got here, we need to give them time." I told them, crossing my arms on the chest.

"Please, keep them safe." Hershel insisted. "I'll hide in one of the cars. If a walker gets me, so be it. I've lost my farm. I've lost my wife, maybe my daughters."

"You don't know that. They'll be here." Rick told him more forcefully.

I looked between two men and put an emotionless mask over my face. My voice was stern and low, with no space for arguing. "You both have to fucking understand something. I'm not moving from here, without the rest. Without Daryl Dixon."

I walked away, not looking back. I got into the car and searched through my backpack, finding the binoculars. I climbed onto the vehicle and kept watch.

I went ahead to relieve myself, I guess adrenaline finally wore off, and my bladder was screaming at me. Rick tried to argue with me that I should've taken someone with me, receiving a finger in an answer. Like hell, one of them will watch me pee.

When I finished and turned to go back, I spotted a lone walker heading at me, others nowhere in sight. I took out my throwing knife, chucking it in a swift motion, the blade stabbing the geek perfectly between the eyes. When he got to the ground, I walked to it and pulled the knife out, finally spotting the men.

"Where you hiding from one walker?" I asked them while wiping the blade.

"We have only guns, don't want to attract any more of those," Rick answered, squinting his eyes at me.

"We need to get you proper weapons."

"I don't know how much longer we can stay here," Hershel commented. Well, his attitude changed quickly, just an hour ago he was so adamant about staying here.

"I'm not leaving without mom," Carl stated simply.

"So we're just gonna walk away?" Rick asked the other men, and he just shrugged. "Not knowing my wife, your-- your girls are still out there? How do we live with that?"

"You've only got one concern now, just one. Keeping him alive." Hershel pointed at Carl, and as much as I disagreed with leaving without the rest, he was right.

"Well, I wish you good luck in the future. I'm not moving without Dixon." I told them once again.

"Elena," Hershel turned to me know, his eyes pleading. "He's not here. You are a skilled fighter, we have a child to protect."

His words were hurtful, but only because they were the truth. I looked over at the boy, his sheriff's hat on, just hoody on his back. I swallowed, feeling suddenly how dry my throat got. I couldn't leave them alone, for fuck sake they don't even have weapons which don't make noise. But, the thought of leaving Daryl behind made my stomach twist and heart hurt. I wasn't so torn in years, I always put the others before me. The one time I was selfish, I lost so much. Should I follow my heart or my head? A few months ago, the answer would be simple; never follow your heart; that path brings only pain. Right now, I wasn't so sure anymore.

"Carl, it's not safe here." Rick crouched in front of his son, speaking in a soft tone. "I'm sorry."

Both of them looked like they're about to cry, and honestly, I felt this same. I was just better at hiding it.

Before any of us could say something else, we heard the familiar sound of a bike. I turned around and walked forward to the railing separating two lanes. There, in front of me, Daryl was leading two other cars to us. I smiled widely, seeing that Carol was safe with him, Glenn's car was right behind with T-Dog taking the back.

I put a hand over my mouth and took a few deep breaths to control my emotions. The bike stopped next to me, and I help the woman to get off, hugging her tightly. It was the first time I initiated that type of physical contact, but she didn't seem to mind. She wrapped her arms around my middle and squeezed. I finally let her go, smiling widely.

I could hear others laughing and crying, happy that in the end, we found each other. My eyes were on Daryl, who turned off the engine and now was standing next to me. His blue eyes were boring into mine, relief evident on his face.

Fighting the tears became harder, and my brain shut down. At least that's what I think because how else explain the fact that I moved and wrapped my arms around his waist, burying my face in his broad chest. But if that's the case, his brain cells were fried as well; he stiffened just for a second before hugging me back, pressing my body tightly against his.

I didn't cry, luckily, but I was so happy that he's alive, that they all are here. I memorized Daryl's scent, he smelled like forest and sweat, but not in that disgusting way. No, it was musky, manly smell, and it drove me crazy.

He pulled at my shoulders, pushing me away from him and looked me in the eyes.

"Ya OK?"

I nodded quickly, biting my lip. "Yeah. I'm now that we are all together. You?"

"Gotta be." He smirked, and I laughed, relive washing over my tired body. We were here, alive and uninjured, and Daryl Dixon was making jokes.

"Where'd you find everyone?" Rick asked, looking at Daryl.

"Well, this guy got his taillights zig-zaggin' all over the road. Figured had to be Asian driving like that." The hunter answered, making us all chuckle at that, even Glenn.

"Good one."

"Where's the rest of us?"

"We're the only ones who made it so far," Rick replied, shaking his head.

"Shane?" Lori asked. That's actually a question I'd like to know the answer to as well. I wasn't complaining that he's not here, but I was still curious where he is. Rick only shook his head, and I breathed out relive, Daryl, bumping my shoulder. Yes, we were both happy that this dick was gone.

"Andrea?" Glenn spoke up, looking around us. The last time I saw her, she was in the car with T.

"She saved me, then I lost her," Carol explained, what she saw.

"We saw her go down," T-Dog added. I furrowed my eyebrows, she was a bitch, but she didn't deserve to die like that.

"Patricia?" That question was asked by Hershel, she was after all a family friend.

"They got her too," Beth answered quietly, struggling to not cry. "Took her right from me. I was-- I was holding onto her, Daddy. She just--" The man pulled his daughter to him, letting her cry into his chest.

"What about Jimmy? Did you see Jimmy?" Beth was sobbing, her voice shaky and full of pain.

"He was in the RV. It got overrun." Rick replied softly.

"You definitely saw Andrea?" Carol asked, looking at T and Lori.

"There were walkers everywhere." The dark-haired woman replied.

"Did you see her?" None of the replied to that, and Daryl started to move from beside me.

"I'm gonna go back."

"No." Rick stopped hunter from going any further, his voice stern.

"Can't just leave her."

"But we don't even know if she's there," Lori stated, and I had to agree with her. There were too many walkers, she wouldn't stay on the farm, she's not stupid like that.

"She isn't there. She isn't." Rick commented, looking at all of us. "She's somewhere else, or she's dead. There's no way to find her."

"So, we're not even gonna look for her?" Glenn asked, disbelieve on his face evident.

"We gotta keep moving. There've been walkers crawling all over here." Speaking of, there where two walkers approaching, so I moved ahead when Daryl reached for his crossbow. I put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

"I've got this." I reached for two knives from my reins and rose the hands to my ears. I threw both of them simultaneously, hitting the walkers in the head.

"Show off," Daryl commented, I turned my head to wink at him.

"You know it."

"I say, head east," T-Dog said while I was retrieving my weapons.

"Stay off the main roads," Dixon added. "The bigger the road, the more walkers, more assholes like those ones." He pointed towards bodies on the ground.

"OK, we are short on gas, T-Dog we gonna leave your truck. It doesn't have enough space anyway." Rick started organizing everything, and soon we moved whatever was in T's pick-up into the other cars.

"El." Daryl waved me over to his bike, and I walked over to him and Carol. "Ya ridin' with me."

I rose my eyebrows and glanced at the other woman, she looked amused at Dixon's statement.

"What about Carol?" I asked him, after all, she rode with him before, I assumed she will now too, even if it was making my guts twist.

"Don't worry about me. I'll ride with Rick, the bike isn't for me anyway." She winked at me, smirking, and walked away.

I gulped, studying the machine. Shame to admit, but I never rode a motorcycle before and wasn't sure if I want to try. On the other hand, Daryl asked me something which never happens, and the perspective of my chest pressed tightly to his back was definitely alluring.

We drove for hours, I never thought I would say it, but the feeling was incredible. We weren't going fast, but the wind that was licking our skin, ruffling our hair, it was pure freedom. Now I could understand Daryl and why it was his choice of vehicle. I was holding onto his sides, although sometimes, when he increased the speed, I wrapped my arms tighter around his waist. My breasts were pressed to his back, angel wings right in front of my eyes.

One of the cars used the horn, making Daryl slow down and stop the bike. I dismounted it and stretched my back a little, watching as others spilled out of their cars.

"Ya out?" Daryl asked when Rick got closer, and the sheriff nodded.

"Running on fumes."

"We can't stay here," Maggie commented.

"We can't all fit in one car," Glenn recounted, and that was true.

"We'll have to make a run for some gas in the morning."

"Spend the night here?" Carol asked, looking around at the deserted road.

"I'm freezing," Carl commented, shaking a little, and I shrugged my vest off.

"You shouldn't have left your vest at the farm," I said, giving him mine. He looked away, ashamed.

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine. Have mine, I'll grab my jacket."

"We'll build a fire, yeah?" Lori added, hugging her son to her side to make him warmer.

"If ya go out lookin' for firewood, stay close," Daryl said, grabbing his crossbow from the bike. "Only got so many arrows. How ya doin' on ammo?"

"Not enough." Rick wasn't pleased, especially that we discovered back at the highway that his bag of guns was left behind.

"I still have some spare in my duffel. But we need to get you all some knives or other silent weapons." I told all of them, making them nod in agreement.

"Well, we can't just sit here with our asses hanging out," Maggie said, she was really agitated, clearly by what happened back at the farm.

"Watch your mouth," Hershel scowled her. "Everyone stop panicking. Listen to Rick."

"All right." Sheriff started. "We set up a perimeter. In the morning we'll find gas and some supplies. We'll keep pushing on."

"Glenn and I can go make a run now try and scrounge up some gas." The young woman kept arguing.

"Maggie, we're all scared. But we need to rest, get our strength back." I told her, furrowing my brows.

"Elena's right. We stay together." Rick added, trying to calm everybody down. "God forbid something happens, and people get stranded without a car."

"Rick, we're stranded now," Glenn said gently.

"But we're fucking together. Let's rest and calm down. In the morning, we can plan where to go for gas," I said, looking at the young couple. We just fucking found each other, why they keep pushing so much to do it now. We already gained a reasonable distance from the herd.

"I know it looks bad. We've all been through hell and worse, but like Elena said, we found each other." Rick was pacing next to Daryl and me, running a hand over his curly hair. "I wasn't sure. I-- I really wasn't, but we did. We're together. We keep it that way. We'll find shelter somewhere. There's gotta be a place."

"Rick, look around." Glenn stepped closer to the sheriff. "OK, there are walkers everywhere. They're migrating or something."

"There's gotta be a place, not just where we hole up, but that we fortify. Hunker down. Pull ourselves together. Build a life for each other. I know it's out there. We just have to find it."

"Even if we do find a place we think is safe, we can never be sure for how long," Maggie said, she was a calmer, but still tried to argue with Rick. "Look what happened with the farm. We fooled ourselves into thinking that-- that was safe."

"We won't make that mistake again," Hershel told her sternly.

"We'll make camp tonight over there." Rick pointed in the direction of a small, torn down building that was sitting just a few paces from the road. "Get on the road at the break of day."

"Does this feel right to you?" Carol looked between Daryl and me, she still didn't trust Rick and his decisions. We both nodded gently, not speaking. I already told them what I think, what else to add?

"But what if walkers come through, or another group like Randall's?" Beth asked Rick. I glanced at hunter on my right, and we looked at each other for a second, having a silent conversation.

"Ya know we found Randall, right?" Daryl spoke first. "He turned, but he wasn't bit."

Rick looked away, something in his eyes changed, his jaw was clenched tight.

"How's that's possible?" Blonde Greene asked him. She's really coming out of her shell, isn't she?

"Rick, what the hell happened?" Lori asked her husband.

"Shane killed Randall. Just like he always wanted to." Daryl stated, not even blinking at the accusation.

"And then the herd got him?"

But Rick was still avoiding our eyes, and it hit me, clear as day. Daryl told me after CDC how Jenner pulled sheriff close and whispered something in his eyes, just before we escaped. My face twisted, and I chuckled dryly, making the rest of the group look at me.

"We're all infected, aren't we, Rick?" His head snapped, and he stared me in the eyes, searching I don't know what for. He licked his lips and, after a second, nodded slowly.

"Jenner told me, at the CDC. Whatever it is, we all carry it." I turned around, I couldn't look at him right now, anger flowing through my body, I crouched down and hid my face in my hands. I really hoped that I was wrong, that sheriff would give us some other, more straightforward explanation.

"And you never said anything?" I heard Carol speak up after a moment of silence.

"Would it have made a difference?"

"You knew this whole time?" Glenn asked him.

"How could I have known for sure? You saw how crazy that mo--"

"That is not your call. OK, when I found out about the walkers in the barn, I told for the good of everyone."

"Well, I thought it best if people didn't know." I stood up and walked back over to stand next to Daryl. Rick glanced at us one last time and walked away, needing to calm down. Lori was quick to follow him.

I swallowed and listened for a moment while people argued over what Rick said if he was a good leader and what not.

"Shut up," I growled at them when I had enough of their bickering. I swear that they forgot I'm even here because their faces snapped to mine in shock. "Just fucking shut up. You're not happy. I get it, me neither. But we can't change anything now. What's done, it's done. Stop your fucking bickering. We need to rest, eat, and plan where we going tomorrow."

I glanced at the people, my face severe and voice telling them to not argue with me. "Glenn, T, and Maggie go check that building, we need to secure it. Daryl and I will get the firewood, see if they are any animals around. Carol and Beth, I want you to check the food, take only what we need for tonight, not too much we can't spare it until we find more. Carl, collect some blankets and see if we have any other warm clothes. Hershel, you stand watch, protect them."

No one was moving, they just stared at me, like I was speaking in a foreign language. I cocked my eyebrows and placed my hands on the hips. My voice grew colder when I spoke again. "Do you need a special invitation or something?"

By the time the night came, we've eaten and started a fire. We shared a few cans of beans and sweetcorn and three squirrels Daryl hunted down while I was carrying the wood. T was keeping watch on one of the walls, and the rest of us sat around, Lori with Carl, hugging him tightly. Greene family together, plus Glenn, who didn't leave Maggie's side since we found each other. I guess they figured out their differences. Daryl sat between Carol and me, digging at the ground with a stick. Rick was off somewhere, he didn't speak to us since we found out that we all carry the virus.

"We're not safe with him," Carol stated at some point, and I leaned forward to look at her. "Keeping something like that from us? Why do you need him? He's gonna pull you down."

"Nah." Daryl's reply was simple but full of unspoken words, and it made me smile.

"Carol, we are in a horrible position, but he tries to keep us together, safe," I told her gently. "Everything he did so far, was for the good of the group."

"Yeah, Rick's done all right by me," Hunter added.

"You're his henchman, both of you. And I'm a burden." She commented coldly. Did she really think like that of herself? "You deserve better."

"What do ya want?"

"A man of honor, or woman. Elena could lead us." I chuckled at that and shook my head.

"No, thank you. Too much stress, I'm better at following orders."

"It didn't look like that earlier today."

"Look, I can step up if needed. But Rick knows what he's doing. And frankly, I'm not sure if I'd tell you either, you know about being infected. Without proof, that would just start an early panic."

"I think we should take our chances." Maggie voiced her opinion looking at Glenn.

"In the dark? You're smarter than that." I told her, making her glare in my direction across the fire.

"Exactly, don't be foolish," Hershel told his daughter. "There's barely any food, no fuel, not enough ammo."

When he finished, the leaves rattled in the distance, making everyone sit straight.

"What was that?" Beth was first to ask.

"Could be anything."Daryl stood up, looking into the dark. "Could be a raccoon could be an opossum."

"A walker," Glenn added, putting others even more on edge.

"We need to leave. I mean, what are we waiting for?" Carol spoke up, looking at Rick, who just came back.

"T, can you see anything?" I asked and looked up at the man.

"No." He shook his head after looking through the scope.

"Which way?" Glenn asked, looking at his girlfriend.

"It came from over there."

"Back from where we came from." At the moment, I was the only one who was not standing beside Carl and Lori. Those people really needed to relax, being scared makes you dangerous.

"Last thing we need it for everyone to be running off in the dark." Rick finally said in a low voice. "We don't have the vehicles. No one's traveling on foot."

"Don't panic," Hershel added, speaking mainly to his daughter.

"I'm not," Maggie answered. "I'm not sitting here waiting for another herd to blow through. We need to move now."

"No one is going anywhere," Rick spoke forcefully, coming closer to the circle. At that point, I stood up, just in case the situation needed defusing. People looked at him, scared, tired, unsure of our future.

"Do something." Carol spat in his face.

"I'm doing something." He whispered-yelled at her. "I'm keeping this group together, alive. And I've been doing that all along, no matter what." Correct, and decisions he had to make sometimes weren't easy. It's easy for them to bitch and complain, but they wouldn't be able to handle the responsibility of other people's lives. Not the way Rick did.

"I didn't ask for this. I killed my best friend for you people for Christ's sake!" That confession from sheriff made everyone gasp. Not me, though. I expected that I mean Shane was crazy and unpredictable, and I suspected that splitting us up back at the farm, was just a ploy to kill Rick.

"You saw what he was like. How he pushed me, how it compromised, how it threatened us. He staged the whole Randall thing, led me out to put a bullet in my back. He gave me no choice." When he spoke, he looked mainly at his family, Carl was crying, and Lori was hiding her face in boy's hair.

"He was my friend, but he came after me. My hands are clean." He paused, looking around, finally meeting my eyes. I knew that my face showed no emotions, especially that I expected it, so I gave him a small nod. A little sign of support, something I knew he needed at the moment.

"Maybe you people are better off without me. Go ahead. I say there's a place for us, but maybe, maybe it's just another pipe dream. May-- maybe I'm fooling myself again. Why don't you-- why don't you go and find out yourself? Send me a postcard." I had to fight the urge to laugh at that, biting my bottom lip. He was really good at these speeches. Noone spoke; nobody moved anywhere. We were just starring at him, waiting for a punch line.

"Go on. There's the door. You can do better? Let's see how far you get." He pointed behind him, but again, people stayed frozen in their spots.

"No, takers? Fine. But get one thing straight, you're staying, this isn't a democracy anymore." He looked around, and I gave him a smirk, while the others stared at him in shock. After a few minutes of silence, he left again, but people didn't move.

"Alrighty, guys. Go to sleep, we need to wake up early." I told them, breaking them out of the spell.

This was the day I marked in my calendar as the beginning of Ricktatorship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that chapter marks down the end of season 2. I won't jump straight through into season 3, I'll show you guys little glimpses of what happened in that 8 months time gap. Is there anything you'd like to see? Any extra ideas for what could've happened to the group? Comment and let me know!
> 
> Cheers:)


	24. Chapter 24

**Day 67**

I woke up shortly before sunrise, people were still sleeping around me. Small shivers ran down my spine, even with a blanket, it was still cold, and sleeping in the open made it all worse. I stood up quietly, trying to make sure that I wouldn't wake up anyone.

Daryl was gone, so was Rick, though I suspected that the latter didn't get any sleep at all. I moved slowly around the sleeping bodies and walked outside. The sheriff was sitting down, seemed like he's asleep. But the second my feet made noise on the ground, his head turned to me, gun pointed in my direction.

I ignored it and sat down next to him.

"You should go get some sleep."

"Hmm." He didn't move an inch, and I shook my head.

"You not going to be a very useful leader if you'll die from exhaustion," I told him, taking out a cigarette and lighting it up.

"I'm not in the mood for your snarky comments." He snarled at me, and I chuckled, not intimidated one bit.

"Alrighty, but I'm serious. You took a big responsibility. The sun is not up yet, you can get a few hours sleep."

"I killed Shane." He stated simply, that one short sentence showing all the emotional turmoil inside him.

"Yeah, you did. But it was either him or you. We both know that."

"I should've listened to you."

"It's too late now. You have people you're responsible for now."

"Don't you think I know that? All I did since I woke up from the coma was to try to save this group!" He told me, dropping his anger, now only a sad reminder of what he did to his best friend remained.

"Rick, that's why I came here," I told him slowly. "You have Daryl and me. You said last night to leave if we think it's better for us. We didn't, we believe in you."

"You could easily lead the group, why did you allow me?" He obviously didn't understand, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to tell him.

"I could. But I don't want to. Sometimes, even if I usually try to think before I act-- well, sometimes I act first and then think."

He nodded, and we were quiet for a second, I flicked the cigarette and watched it land somewhere ahead.

"But I want you to know, you can't have secrets." When I said that, he glanced at me again. "If you think the group shouldn't know, I'm fine with it. But you have to talk to someone, Daryl or Hershel, to me. The burden is yours now, but it doesn't mean you can't share it sometimes."

"Hmm."

It was the end of that conversation. Rick did go to sleep, and I stood guard, waiting for the rest of us to wake up and for Daryl to come back from the hunt. We would have to think about what to do during winter. Most of the forest animals will hibernate, so hunting won't be resourceful. Finding shelter obviously is a priority for the cold months ahead, we can't really afford anyone to get ill, we don't have enough medicine for that. Hell, we don't have any fucking medication. Alright, so that's something we need to think about.

So, the shelter, food, medicine. How hard it can be. I chuckled to myself at that thought. We were fortunate, first with the quarry, then with finding the farm. I wasn't sure how easy it'll be to find another safe place to bunk up. And how long it'd actually last.

Weapons, we also needed knives, so we're not wasting any more ammo, and so we not attracting any more of the walkers. Potentially new wheels or chains to put them over so we can still travel through snow. Oh, Daryl will be so pissed when we have to pack his bike away.

"We going to Senoia first," Rick stated when we were ready to move out. Maggie and Glenn took a car earlier on and managed to collect enough gas to get us going. We stood around the car, map spread on the hood. I was standing next to the sheriff, looking at the map.

"I might have a place to hold up during the winter," I spoke softly, looking at the man next to me. He glanced at me and then at the map.

"Show me."

"Um, here, Palmetto. My house."

"I thought you're from DC," Glenn commented, making me sigh at that.

"I'm from Chicago. I moved to DC to go to university, and my parents moved here to Georgia."

"OK, that's not important," Rick said, impatiently.

"Right. So what I'm saying. If we going to Senoia first, we could try to pick carefully through those towns." I pointed at the map, tracing a journey throughout Sharpsburg, Peachtree City, Newman, and then ending it in Palmetto.

"OK, we'll scavenge what we can see how the towns are looking, maybe they weren't picked up." The sheriff said, and then turned his face to me. "Why do you think your house will be good for winter."

"Um, my dad. He was a bit of a wacko about safety. It's a brick house, so it can't be easily torn apart two entrances, heavy-duty too. It would be better to show you. Sort of hidden."

I could see that he was thinking about it and finally nodded. We quickly packed the rest of our stuff and got into the cars.

**Day 75**

We picked through Senoia thoroughly, even found a suitable house to stay for some time, until we discovered that we're not the only alive people in the town. Rick decided that it's dangerous to stay there, with unknown people.

Therefore we packed up once again and moved to Sharpsburg. Daryl, Rick, and T-Dog went ahead to scout the area and found a place to hole up. The rest of us stayed on the edge of town, waiting for one of them to come back.

After about an hour, Rick came back, and we got into the cars. We drove through the main street, and it made me realize how small this town was. There were a few shops, houses scattered around, I noticed a gas station and some repair station.

Rick pulled over into a small driveway, and I saw one-story long in shape house. Sheriff maneuvered the cars, so we parked behind it, hidden from the street view. Daryl's bike was already there, the hunter himself nowhere in sight. T opened the doors, inviting us inside.

"We searched the house, opposite we have auto repair. A few minutes away, there's gas station and Dollar General." Rick said once we moved what we had into the house. At that point, we didn't have a lot, only a few backpacks with our clothes, my duffel with guns, a box of canned food, and some blankets. We still needed winter clothes and tires, hopefully, here we'll find it.

"Walkers?" Maggie asked, and Rick shook his head.

"There were few in the streets and two inside here."

"So they either gone or inside the stores," Glenn commented, looking anxious.

"Or there are other people here as well," Beth whispered.

"We didn't see any signs of other people," Rick told us, Lori and Carl took a small couch and were looking around.

"So, what's the plan?" She asked her husband. Their relationship wasn't the best at the moment. And that's putting it mildly. They didn't really talk at all, only at times like that. I could see that she still blamed him for killing Shane, and Rick felt now, that maybe they affair meant more to her than she cares to admit.

"We still got a few hours of daylight." The sheriff said and then pointed at me. "Elena made a list of things we might need through the winter. We gonna go across the street. Search for a good condition pick-up truck and winter tires."

"We have a great location. Auto shop and gas station under our noses." I told them. "Today, we should have time to pick up both."

"Splitting up?" Maggie asked, pacing around the room.

"No." I shook my head. "We don't know this town. We go together to both places. Search for tires or chains we can mount on them. The truck has to got enough space for Daryl's bike; he won't be able to use it once snow hits. And I doubt he'll be happy with leaving it behind."

"Damn right, I won't." Gravely voice said from behind me, making me smile widely.

"Welcome back, Dixon. Anyway, I was saying. Also, look at blunt weapons, we can't keep using guns. And then we move to the gas station, see if there's anything left."

"OK, here's how it's gonna go. Daryl, Elena, Glenn, and I will go in first. We check for walkers, clear it. Maggie, you and T-Dog will stand guard. The rest of you'll stay here, organize our things." Rick ordered, and we started to move around. I made sure that my knives are secured in the reins and on my thighs. I passed the machete to Rick, informing him that it's just borrowing, and he can't keep it. There was a shadow of a smile, so I took it as a small victory. My quiver sat nicely on my back, and the bow was in my hands.

I watched Daryl pass a few squirrels to Carol, so she can skin and prep them while we're gone. In the past week, we showed her how to do it properly without spoiling the meat.

Rick showed Hershel place on the map and instructed him to go there if they hear multiple gunshots. Just in case we're attacked or overrun by walkers. Wait for us for a day, if we're not back... Well, to keep his family safe. Quite grim instructions, if you'd ask me.

We left the house and quickly made it across the street, a single walker was wandering around, and he was immediately taken down by Daryl. I took Glenn with me to check the back, making sure that there aren't any more behind the shop, but it was empty.

When we reached the front again, Rick and T stood next to a white truck, looking at it and whispering between themselves. It was four-seater with a big enough tail to fit Dixon's bike.

"We gonna take that one," Rick said as soon as he saw us come back. "It has gas in it and right tires."

"Sounds good. It's clear behind." I told him and moved forward to the door. In the past week, we got a system going. If possible, bang on the door first, wait to attract walkers, so we're not surprised in constricted spaces. And that's what Daryl was doing right now.

The shop looked untouched. I mean, windows weren't covered, and doors weren't busted, but we couldn't be sure if it's empty. After a few moments, we heard shuffling and groans from the inside. One walker threw himself at the window, making me jump a little.

"Sounds like four, maybe five," Daryl told us, listening carefully through the door.

"OK, people, stand back. Daryl, you open the door. Elena, you first, take down two, then switch to the bow. Glenn you and I on both sides of her, once she throws her knives, we take down the rest." Rick ordered, and we all moved further back, so we had enough time to react when walkers bust from the door. I swang my bow around me and grabbed two knives, breathing steady.

"T, Maggie, watch our backs. Daryl, ready?"

Hunter nodded in reply, and Rick told him to go for it. Daryl pulled the door and-- nothing. It was locked. I laughed at that, gaining myself a glare from both men.

"Are ya gonna laugh or do somethin' about it?" I smacked my lips and strode over to the door, reaching into my back pocket.

"You should be nicer to the only person who can break in without destroying the door," I told him when I worked on the lock. Walkers behind the door were getting restless, all the noise we made getting their attention, groans got louder, and they were scratching at walls, banging on the windows. After a few minutes, I finally heard the clicking sound and quickly hid my picklocks, jogging back to my position.

"Now we're ready. Open her up, Dixon." I told him, spreading my legs for better balance, watching the entrance. He did just that, hiding behind the doors as geeks spilled out.

One. I threw the knife at the first that came out that door, making it fall forward, slowing the others by a bit.

Two. They were starved, the white eyes looking through us, hands reaching, trying to make us the next meal. I thrust the second knife, and the walker stumbled back, pushing the other before it fell down.

Three. I moved back and grabbed my bow, linning the arrow on the notch. At this same time, Rick moved forward, grabbing one of the geeks and swinging the machete right in its forehead.

Four. Glenn stepped aside when dead woman launched herself at him, he kicked its legs, making it fall down. Swinging the hatchet over his head, he plunged it in the walker's brain.

Five. Daryl stepped from behind the door and used his crossbow to take down the last one. Or it would be the last one. When he moved, he stood in front of the entrance, so he didn't see the other walker that was sneaking behind him.

"Duck, Dixon!" I shouted, pulling the string and letting the arrow go, the second I saw hunter crouch down.

Everyone was quiet for a moment before Rick moved forward. I walked between the bodies, collecting my knives.

The rest of the day went smoothly. There weren't any more surprises inside. We found two sets of tires and some chains that could be easily attached. We gathered some tools, both T-Dog and Maggie grabbing something that could easily be used against walkers. We might be able to get something better at Dollar General tomorrow, though. We loaded it all into the pick-up, and T drove it to the gas station.

When we got there, three walkers lied on the ground around the car, T-Dog looking so proud of himself, until Rick grilled into him for risking his life, all by himself. But that was it, no more geeks inside, even though the station was mostly scavenged, men managed to get some gas into the containers.

Overall it wasn't a bad day. We ate some dinner, barricaded both doors, and assigned watch. I would take the first one, then Daryl and finally Rick. I was actually sitting with both men right now, discussing plans for tomorrow. The sheriff listened to what I said a week ago. He's in charge, having the last word but using us to bounce the ideas was helpful.

"So Dollar General. What you think we need?"

"If we're going to spend winter at my house we'll need candles, or maybe like oil lamps? There's only one generator, and it's quite small. Winter clothes. If they have a gas canister. The canned food, of course, if there's any left. Winter clothes, mainly jackets and shoes, thick socks."

"Water, blankets," Daryl added, and I nodded.

"Palmetto is bigger, and I think it might have more walkers. And because it has more stores and supermarkets, I think it will already be scavenged. We can't risk going into the winter without the supplies."

"And you don't think it's dangerous for us to go there?" Rick asked me, stroking his chin, something he always did when deep in thought.

"No." I shook my head, taking a deep breath. "It's on the outskirts. Three other houses around. A pharmacy and a small food store. That's it, the rest is further into the town."

"Why didn't you mention it sooner?" I knew that sheriff will ask me that type of question. "Why didn't you stay there, if you're so sure it's safe."

"I never said it's safe," I told him dryly, looking earnestly at both men. "It's safer than what we're doing now. I didn't stay because I had orders to head to Atlanta." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second. "And I didn't mention it because that house is full of memories, bad memories."

"What kind?" Daryl asked me softly, his husky southern drawl, calming my nerves, making me warm inside, like every time he spoke.

"My parents were murdered there." They went silent, and I could feel their eyes on me, but stubbornly I looked through the window. "Both of you, off to bed. We have a busy day tomorrow. We can talk more about this once we're at my house. I might need it then."

**Day 76**

Morning came too quickly, my muscles were sore, and I was hungry. Not eating enough was starting to show, I couldn't imagine how Lori felt. She was throwing up every day for the past week, and whoever named it 'morning sickness' was stupid, because she was going at it all day.

Carol smiled at me when I walked into the main room, passing me a plate with meat and some canned peas.

"Morning, you slept well?"

"Hmm." I grabbed the plate and water sitting down next to Glenn. "I miss fucking coffee."

"You're not the only one." The young man replied, shoving a portion of a squirrel into his mouth.

"OK, you're all up and about." Rick came into the room, rest of the group quickly following. Yes, I was almost the last one to wake up, but for once, I didn't feel guilty. I was taking a lot of night watches, past few days, and I had to regenerate. "We going in just like yesterday. Plus, Carl." At that, I nearly choked on my food. Is he mental? Taking the boy wasn't a good idea.

"Are you sure?" Maggie asked him, voicing my own thoughts.

"Yeah, he wants to come, and he needs to learn. Elena, can we please borrow your Wesson with suppressor? He's a good shot." Still, in a slight state of shock, I nodded. I'm mean, what else was I going to say? "Great. Inside the shop, we'll spread out. Maggie and Glenn, you'll look for hygiene stuff and meds. Elena and Daryl, you'll gather all food you can. Carl, T-Dog and I will see if we can find a grill, candles, and winter clothes. We move out in ten."

I quickly finished my breakfast and put my weapons on. I grabbed my spare gun and screwed in the suppressor, checked the clip. I found Carl by the door, bouncing on the hills of his feet, ready to go.

"Alrighty, kiddo," I spoke and showed him the gun. I handed him a spare magazine, and he stashed it in his pocket. "Here's safety, always on when you put it away, you don't want to shoot yourself. You release the magazine in here and load it like that." I showed him the mechanics of the gun, then put the safety on, giving him the gun.

"I know." He answered and hold the gun, getting used to the weight.

"Please, remember it's not a toy," I said softly, squeezing his arm gently.

I went back to my stuff and put on a jacket, now I was ready to go.

The store wasn't a bust per se, but it was already picked through. There were only a few walkers inside, and we quickly took care of them.

I suspected that this town fell early on, or the majority of the people went to Atlanta. There was dust on all the products, suggesting that no one was here in some time. We went all together to the clothes section first, grabbing spare bags. Rick, Carl, and T stayed there, sheriff holding a piece of paper where Lori wrote down our sizes.

Daryl and I moved into the food section, and that's where we didn't have much luck. Most of the shelves were empty, but there's always something that people missed. We filled three bags, full of cereal and cans. There were soups and fruits, sweetcorn, beans. It seemed like a lot of people went for a fresh food first, their first mistake. I packed snacks, chips, and sweets, cookies, which were still in date. There were few boxes of crackers left, some nuts. If we're lucky and smart about all of that will get us going for a few weeks. But it means we need to find another shop, more food to stock up for the winter.

I grabbed the remaining pasta and rice, even if by itself, it's something to eat, as long as we have water to cook it with. That's riskier. On the subject of water. There was one sixpack, rest just a fizzy drinks and cans left.

"That will have to do," I told Daryl, and he nodded at me. He just finished packing forth bag with drinks. There wasn't really anything else to take, so we strolled towards the entrance. Glenn and Maggie were already waiting, they had only one bag, and didn't really look happy.

"You alright?" I asked them, and they nodded.

"Close call with a walker," Maggie answered, now that she mentioned it, I could see that front of her shirt and neck were covert in blood.

"And there wasn't a lot left. Some tampons and shampoo. And one package of aspirin, that's it." Glenn added, making me frown. True, hygiene shit wasn't that important, but meds were.

"There's a small pharmacy, two miles out," Daryl said, leaning against the wall. "Elena and I could check it out."

"Sounds like a plan." Rick's voice came from behind me, making me turn, to look them over. They had a few bags with them, and a fresh set of clothes on.

"We got clothes, new underwear, shoes, socks. Next time, one of you goes for panties and bras." The black man said, visibly embarrassed, pointing between Maggie and me. We chuckled at that, and I waved my finger at that.

"It better be nice, I don't need granny panties."

"OK, let's roll back, Elena; if you going with Daryl, I want you to take your walkie-talkie. We found some spare batteries." Rick said, handing me the box. "If something goes wrong, you can tell us. We don't need surprises like in Senoia."

I had my backpack with me, with some water and protein bars, but that's it. We needed it empty for the medicine, if there was any left, of course. We took one of the spare bags as well. I loved the feeling of riding a bike with Daryl. The wind in my hair and warmth of his body felt incredible. The only problem was that I had to touch him. I mean, it was a problem only because it didn't help me in slightest in trying to squish down those feelings I had. No, instead, they seemed to grow and progress with each passing day, with every conversation where I'd found out more and more about him.

Daryl parked the bike, and I took my hands off him, momentarily feeling colder. I ran to the entrance and checked the door. It wasn't locked, I banged on it and listen intensely for any sounds.

"I can't hear anything."

"Open it," Daryl told me and stood with his crossbow up, pointing at the entrance. I grabbed my machete, which Rick politely returned and yanked the door, but nothing came through. The building was small, one counter, shelves on the two walls, and one single row in the middle. We quickly checked it, making sure that they aren't any walkers inside.

"It's clear," I told him, and he grunted.

"Yeah, so are meds." He commented, looking at semi-empty shelves.

"Well, let's check that, for sure." He was right, there was some cough medicine left and more aspirin. Well, there was gauze and bandages, so I packed that too. A lone bottle of Tylenol, and that's it. I chuckled when I found some condoms, reaching out for them."

"Why ya laughing?" Daryl furrowed his brow at me, so I showed him. His face got crimson red in seconds, making me just laugh more. "What ya need it for, woman."

"It's for Glenn and Maggie, you idiot. I don't need that." The last sentence was quiet, and I kicked myself for how sad and bitter it sounded. I think he realized it too, because he moved towards me, searching my eyes.

"Why?"

"Can't have kids, don't need protection." Well, that conversation changed quickly. I cleared my throat and looked around the room, spotting some cabinets behind the counter. Walking over around it, I noticed a dead body lying on the ground. It used to be a woman, still dressed in a white coat, a small revolver in her hand. And a gaping hole at the side of her head.

I tried the cabinets, but they were all locked. I crouched down, knocking down some bottles off the counter. Glass shattered, and I closed my eyes for a second.

"Fuck. Sorry," I said out loud.

"Ya fine?"

"Yeah, just fucking clumsy, sorry. I'm looking for keys to those. If we're lucky, they kept more serious meds inside." I told him and searched the body for keys. I found them in the left coat pocket, and I stood up, making victorious noise, smiling widely at Daryl. But that quickly morphed into the panic as I noticed dozens of walkers walking towards the door. They already passed the bike, and there were so many.

"Daryl!" I moved around the counter, pointing at the front, and he spun around reading his crossbow. I ran to the door, shutting it, before any could get in, twisting the lock.

"Move!" Daryl told me and started pushing one of the hefty, metal shelves from the middle to the door. I walked over to him, together we blocked it, but now we were trapped. And there was a possibility that they'll bust through the windows.

I quickened my pace and got behind the counter again, opening the four cabinets. They were fully stocked. I completely filled up my backpack, and there was still more.

"El, they gonna breakthrough," Daryl whispered from behind me. "Check that door."

He pulled me behind him when the first cracks of glass were heard. He opened the door behind the counter, quickly raising his crossbow, pointing around.

"Empty, come on!" He grabbed my hand and pulled me in, shutting the door. I locked it with one of the keys and rushed to the bookcase that was on the left of a small office and started moving it towards the only entrance. Daryl quickly helped me, and we stepped back, listening. There was breaking glass noises and shuffling of feet, groans everywhere.

I looked around for the first time, noticing a desk with a chair and small sofa with ugly as fuck orange, patterned blanket. There was a small round window just under the ceiling. Too high, plus we wouldn't fit through it. So we're fucked.

"We need to wait them out," I told the man. Daryl moved the sofa, so it was against the bookcase, blocking the door further, and sat down on it. Well, at least it'll give me time to sort through the meds. But first I had to talk to the sheriff, he probably won't be very pleased.

"Rick, do you copy?" I talked to the radio and released the button, waiting for a reply.

"Copy. What's wrong?" Yeah, I could hear it in his voice when walkie-talkie cracked, he was worried.

"So, funny story." I started, and Daryl cocked his eyebrow at the choice of words, mumbling something under his nose. "We're in the pharmacy. In the back room. The main one is full of walkers."

"We're coming to get you."

"No, wait! No point. There's too many now. We going to wait 'till the morning. By then, the majority of them should move on."

"Are you sure? We could drive them away."

"Look, no point in wasting gas. We got water and something to eat. You could come in the morning, get the remaining walkers."

"Alright, I'll talk to you in the morning. Over and out." The radio cracked for the last time, and I sighed.

I won't hear an end to this, letting ourselves get trapped. I sorted through the meds, putting aside ones, which won't be useful to us, and repacked them. I took out protein bars and water and shared it with Daryl in comfortable silence.

We talked for a while about the past and future. The hunter told me about his mom and how she died, and I told him some funny stories from my childhood. I don't even know when exactly I fell asleep. What I know, though, is that I woke up the next morning with Daryl's arms wrapped around me. We moved during the night, and he was lying on his back with me on top of him. And it was the best damn sleep I had in years. It was a good morning.

Until he woke up, of course.


	25. Chapter 25

**Day 100**

After two weeks of scavenging through Sharpsburg, we moved on to Peachtree City. It was definitely bigger and had more walkers. We holed up in a small library for the past week, and it was good. It had only two entranced, we put some newspapers on the windows, and had an emergency protocol of where to go in case we get separated. We found more food, and now our situation started to look better. If Newton is as good to us these two towns, we'll be set up for the winter, which was most important now. Night's were getting longer, and it started to get really cold even during the day.

For the past week, I talked with every member of the group, informing them that it was Daryl's birthday in a few days. I wasn't sure how he'll react to that sort of attention. It could go both ways, he'll either accept it and sit through it all embarrassed. Or he'll rip my head off for even doing it. I was going to take my chances and hope for the best. I was pretty sure he never got himself a birthday party, and I was stuck on giving him one, even if he's going to kill me for it.

Members of the group were collecting trinkets as presents for him, but I didn't have one. I mean, I had one part off it, but the other I hoped to get today. We were raiding a hunting store. We observed it for a few days, and it seemed that it was untouched. The issue was that there were fucking many walkers around it, and that was a problem.

"Plan is simple. Daryl and the boombox move east on 54 towards Atlanta." Rick stood next to the map, spread on one of the tables in our library. "You gonna ditch it here, about fifteen miles out, and circle around. In the meantime, we gonna get through the stores."

"Let's go then, we ain't got all day," Daryl replied and swang his crossbow over his shoulder.

"Be careful, alright?" I told him quietly when we approached vehicles. I handed him the small boombox, with CD already loaded. I'm not sure if he'll appreciate my music choice for that ride, there wasn't much to pick from.

"Always." Daryl grabbed it and tied it to the back of the bike. He smirked at me, I nodded, walking away, to the car.

There was a quick-paced violin echoing from the device, and Daryl looked at it suspiciously. It was loud, but not enough; that is until the beat will start. Some walkers started moving towards Daryl's bike, but he had to wait until they are close enough, and then slowly, he will lead them out of the town.

"You didn't!" Maggie whispered to me, grinning, clearly recognizing the song.

"Oh, yes, I did."

_Now that you're outta my life, I'm so much better  
_

_You thought that I'd be weak without ya, but I'm stronger_

_You thought that I'd be broke without ya, but I'm richer_

"He looks pissed," Rick commented, watching the hunter, who was glaring in our general direction.

"It was either that or Britney Spears. Whoever owned that car had shit music taste. It's not my fault." I explained, not feeling guilty whatsoever.

"It fits the theme of apocalypse," T added, making us giggle again.

_I'm a survivor (what), I'm not gon' give up (what)  
_

_I'm not gon' stop (what), I'm gon' work harder (what)_

_I'm a survivor (what), I'm gonna make it (what)_

_I will survive (what), keep on survivin' (what)_

Finally, Daryl started moving, making dozens of walkers follow him, in a matter of minutes, he disappeared behind the corner. We got to action, T banging on the front door. After a few moments, he shook his head and opened it, Rick and him walking in first, taking a left. Maggie and Glenn went to the right, and Carl and I took the middle alley. There was one walker in there, it was missing its legs, crawling to us. I passed my hunting knife to Carl and signaled for him to finish it off. The boy walked over and pressed his foot on the walker's back, swinging the blade without any hesitation.

"Clear," Rick spoke loudly.

"Clear." Maggie was next, and I smiled at Carl, letting him know that it was his call.

"Clear."

Rick came around, and I saw a flash of a proud smile on his face when he noticed his son, but it disappeared quickly.

"Let's be quick. We need ammo and knives."

"I'm going to the bow section," I told him and walked away to the left. The store was barely touched, probably because of the herd that was outside. I quickly noticed a beautiful quiver and shrugged mine off, grabbing five arrows I had left. I took the brown leather one out of the wall and ran my fingers over it. I collected sticks that were lying down, not that far away, placing them all into my new quiver. Alrighty, I had a beautiful new piece of something, but that's not why I wanted to come here.

There were few loose strings, and I put them inside the bag. After a few minutes of searching, I found what I was looking for and hid it in my pack. When I was ready to turn away and search for some knives, I noticed a recurve bow sitting on one of the bottom shelves. I took it and inspected it. The bow was made from some type of dark wood, with fancy carvings, holding point was wrapped in brown leather. I hold it up, straightening my back and spreading my legs. I took the position and pulled the string. It was in perfect condition, durable and not too big for my small frame. I ditched my own DIY one and put the new one over my back.

"You ready?" I asked the rest when I approached the ammunition section. Carl was standing by the door, keeping an eye for walkers or people.

"Nearly. We got plenty of nice, I got this." Rick showed me a short machete, and I nodded in approval, at least he will stop borrowing mine.

"You think Daryl will like that?" Maggie showed me a big hunting knife; the blade was around ten inches long, handle made of steel like the rest, wrapped in blue material. I took it and held it for a second.

"Yeah, he will." I handed it back to the woman, she smiled, putting the knife away into a brown leather holster.

"What kind of ammo you need for your guns?" Rick asked me, standing behind the counter. I know they already picked most of it.

"I'm not sure if they got it." I moved next to him and looked for bullets for my sniper and MP5s. I found few boxes for a sniper, but as I suspected, that was it. "Yeah, they fine for my Barretta, but that's not the store I'll find ammo for automatic."

"OK, we should move along then. Let's go, guys."

We returned to the library, with lots of knives and ammo. We added the latter to my duffel back and distributed the blades among the group.

Utilizing the time when Daryl was away, I walked over to one of the bookshelves, towards the hidden spot. We hid the gifts for Dixon behind some books in a section he surely won't venture into, romantic novels. Some gifts were already wrapped in some newspaper we found, all but mine. I took it out and added what I obtained today, admiring it for a second. It was gorgeous, and I really hoped that Daryl would like it. I wasn't counting on a full lip smile or hugs but maybe a small spark in his eyes. That would be enough.

I quickly wrapped it in some newspaper, making sure it won't open before adding it to the others. At that moment, Maggie came in carrying the knife she found on the run.

"All done?" She asked me, smiling in my direction.

"Yeah. I just hope he won't kill me when he realizes what's all the fuss is about." I joked, passing her remaining paper, so she can wrap her gift.

"He won't."

"You don't know him like I do. He hates being in the center of attention. Doesn't know how to deal with it, you know?"

"Yeah, but we all are a family now." She grabbed my hand and squeezed it for a second. "And that's what family does."

"I don't think Daryl knows how normal family should look like, Mags," I told her sadly, and it was true. From all little details, I learned through the months about the hunter. From how he behaved around Merle back at the quarry.

"Then, we'll show him."

"And how's with you and Glenn?" I asked her even though I knew the answer. They slept next to each other every night, barely managed to be separated.

"I've never felt like that before." The young woman admitted, making me smile widely. It's good to see positive emotions in this new world that even in those dark times, it's possible to find happiness.

"You're good for each other. And it brings hope to the group."

"Hmm." She finished wrapping Daryl's present and placed it next to the others. Together we put the books back on the shelf, making sure it's not visible. "I'd like a house with bedrooms, so we can have alone time."

I snorted at that and cocked my head. "Now, I know where all the condoms disappeared."

"Why do you need some?" She wiggled her eyebrows, making me laugh harder. "Certain redneck's finally willing?"

"Stop. It's not like that we're--

"Friends. Yeah, everyone knows that." She interrupted me, growing suddenly serious. "But we also see how you gravitate towards each other. Carol's his friend too. But I can't see her flirting with him like you do."

"It's just because he's easily embarrassed. I enjoy it." I tried to dodge, turn the conversation somewhere else.

"Yeah. But he reacts. And calls you princess."

"As an insult, Mags."

"Look, I'm just saying if you need some rubber, we can share." She winked at me and marched out towards the rest of the group. I breathed out shakily. Of course, I was wondering how it'd be. If Daryl's strong, calloused hands would touch my naked skin, would he be gentle or ruff? No, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't know what to do with himself. Would it mean something to him?

That's precisely why we never going to be anything more than friends. Too many possibilities, the last thing I needed in fucking apocalypse was broken heart.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of those thoughts, and walked over to one of the bookshelves, picking up my next read. I sat down next to Carol, who was reading some book about childbirth, she wanted to help Hershel get ready for the baby. The rest was scattered around the room, Rick and the older man going over the map and plans for the next few days. T-Dog was guarding the door and looking out for any signs of the hunter.

When I was about halfway through and learned how to grow essential vegetables, T finally announced the return of Daryl. He opened the door, and there he was in all his glory, with leather vest, broad chest pressing against the shirt. Crossbow loosely in his right hand, how could he carry it like it weighs nothing, I'd never know.

He spoke in hush words with Rick and Hershel, I made a point to look like I was still engrossed with the book on my lap. But Maggie was observing me. I could feel her eyes on me. Daryl crossed the room and stood directly in front of me, arms crossed on his chest, brows furrowed. I let him be there for a few moments before nonchalantly I put down the book and slowly looked up.

"Something's wrong? You led them away?" Innocent, that's what I was going for. In the corner of my eye, I could see Carol hiding behind her read, but her shoulders were shaking. They all fucking laughing, I'm going to die, and they crack up.

"Ya gonna pay for that." Daryl finally spoke gruffly.

"Promises, promises," I told him slowly smirking at him, making him roll his eyes.

"Stop, I'm serious."

"Look, I'm sorry. It was either that or Britney Spears."

"Who the fuck is that?"

I looked around the room for any sort of help, but most of the group was trying hard not to laugh, so they were no help.

"You know." I cleared my throat and thought of the words. "Oops, I did it again.

I played with your heart, got lost in the game." I was no singer, so I was told many times in the past, but I think he got the jest.

"Oh baby, baby Oops, you think I'm in love" Maggie joined me, making Daryl's eyes go wide, and he shook his head.

"That I'm sent from above

I'm not that innocent."

Daryl scoffed at us and pointed the finger at me. "Next time, ya doin' it."

"Cool, gladly. Just need to learn how to drive your bike."

"Ya ain't touchin' my bike." He said in his husky voice and sat down next to Carol, reaching for food that was left for him. He glanced at a short-haired woman next to him, who was still shaking from silent laugh, and Daryl squinted his eyes.

"The hell ya laughin' at?"

**Day 106**

For the past week, while we were scavenging houses and smaller stores, Daryl was being sent to the nearby forest, just outside the town. A few days ago he caught a deer, I still don't know how we managed to bring it in on his bike.

Today was the day, October the second. Rick told the hunter to go once again out to the woods. In a couple of days, we're going to be moving to the Newnan, and he wanted to have as much fresh meat as possible. At least that's what we told Daryl. He also had to take me with him, leading to using a pick-up instead of his bike, and he was bitching about that all the time we drove.

But I'd survive his bickering. I wanted to test my new bow properly, even Daryl admitted that it's a beautiful weapon. And of course, someone had to babysit him, make sure he doesn't come back to the library too early. In the meantime, Lori and Carol were supposed to prepare a nice dinner, with venison and vegetables. We didn't have the luxury of baking him a cake, so cookies and sweets we found recently had to be enough.

Daryl pulled over on the edge of a tree line, hoping to hide the car from the view. We walked inside the woods, and as always, he told me to lead the way, so he can watch my back. Did I mention already how sweet it was? Of course, I'd never say that to him, I value my life too much.

I followed the direction hunter told me to go, making sure to be as quiet as possible. I looked around, trying to spot any tracks, listening intently to the sounds of nature. My bow was in front of me, with an arrow notched, ready to be pulled back at any second.

That second came about an hour later, we were deep in the forest by now, following tracks of what seemed to be a rabbit, when I heard scrapping on my left. I stopped and rose the bow in that direction. I felt Daryl watch me, his eyes on me when I straightened my back and lined up the arrow. Without hesitation, I pulled the string and released it, hitting the squirrel and making it land on the ground. He moved ahead and grabbed it, tieing the animal to the line, attaching it to his waist.

"How it feels?" He asked me quietly and passed the arrow.

"Not bad, it doesn't steer away. The other one I had to aim a bit to the right. It'll take some time to get used to normal aim." I smiled at him before I could move, he grabbed his crossbow, aiming at something behind me. His face grew warry, focused. I quickly crouched down and heard the familiar sound of a bolt being shot. I twisted still close to the ground and noticed a dead walker, just a few yards behind me.

"We should move." I agreed with that, and we moved along in a different direction.

We ended up with three more rodents and a rabbit, but that was it, and we were in the woods for about five hours.

"They start prepping for winter, for a hibernation," I spoke when Daryl turned the car around, towards the library.

"Hmm." I glanced at the hunter, but he was focused on the road in front of us, slowly smoking cigarette. I found my own package and light up the stick, inhaling nicotine deep into my lungs.

I was getting anxious, the closer we got to the town, shifting a bit in my seat. I thought my face was blank, and he won't notice how nervous I am. But obviously, when you spend so much time with someone, they tend to see a change in your behavior.

"Ya quiet. What have ya done?"

"Nothing," I answered maybe too quickly, because he glared at me, furrowing his brows.

"Right."

"Seriously, it's nothing. I just keep thinking about winter and what else we can do."

"Nah, that's not it." Damn, you Dixon for being so fucking observant and knowing me so well.

"Well, what is it then?"

"Ya tell me." He pulled over, just by the sign welcoming us to Peachtree City, shifting so he could get a good look at my face. For fuck sake, you're a great liar, Elena. Why is it so much harder when it comes to Him?

"Daryl," I started, opting for a half-truth. I cleared my throat and continued. "It's nothing, I swear. But I can't tell you. You'll find out soon."

He stared at my face, into my eyes for a moment before he nodded and started the car again. "I don't like ya lyin' to me."

I sighed at that because I didn't like that either. "I'm not; it's a secret which you going to learn once we back. It's nothing bad, I promise."

"Hmm."

He didn't speak for the rest of the drive, making me even more nervous. Maybe it was a terrible idea. I still had time to cancel. All I had to do was radio over to Rick, they could get rid of presents, and we could pretend that we just have a nice dinner for a change.

No, I'm not a fucking pussy, and Daryl deserves something good in his life. But was it worth his anger? Probably, maybe.

He parked the car, next to his bike, and we got out, strolling towards the entrance. I could see Glenn watching, through the window, saying something to the others. I sped up, and grabbed Daryl's arm, just by the door, stopping him from going inside.

"Please, don't be mad," I asked him softly, biting my lip. His face looked confused until Rick opened the door. Big smile on his face, was probably the first thing that told Daryl that something's wrong. We haven't seen sheriff smile like that in weeks. He urged us inside, pushing Daryl first until he stood in the middle of the room.

They did well. Really, one of the tables had a clean white cloth with bowl and plates, whatever we had. The meat smelled terrific, sitting on a big dish in the middle, opened cans of various vegetables and sides, around it. There were a few bottles of wine and some plastic cups. On the other table, they placed presents wrapped in the newspapers, and some cookies and snacks.

Daryl slowly turned around and come closer to me, looking me in the eyes.

"What's that?" His voice was dangerously low, and this time for the first time since I met him, he scared me a little. Not because he would hurt me. No, I was joking about it, I knew he would never physically hurt me. No, I meant rejection, the fact that he would just get angry and demand to get rid of it. And I was right.

I gulped, and put a brave smile on my face, spreading my arms. "Happy birthday!"

Daryl scoffed at that and pushed me aside, leaving the library through the main entrance.

"I'll go get him," Rick said quietly while I tried to breathe, making my face emotionless again.

"It could be worse." I deadpanned, walking over to one of the chairs.

"Really?" T-Dog looked at me like I'm crazy, and I nodded.

"Well, he didn't stab me, so yeah."

"OK, guys, let's sit around; it might make him more comfortable," Carol said, looking at me with sympathy. I didn't need it, I knew that it was the possibility.

"Is he gonna come back?" Beth asked, looking between her father and me.

"Rick will calm him down. But when he does, let's start with eating, making him less nervous. Then we can give him presents." The old man always knew what to say. I smiled at him briefly.

"They back," Glenn whispered, and indeed after a second, we heard doors opening and footsteps coming towards us. I had my back to the entrance, so I couldn't see them. Someone pulled the chair next to me, sitting down. From angry mumbling, I deducted it was Daryl himself.

"Came to kill me silently during dinner?" I asked him not looking in his direction.

"Haven't decided yet."

Alrighty, I'll take that. Carol and Beth stood up and started filling everyone's plates with meat, adding small portions of canned food. T-Dog walked around the table and filled our glasses, leaving a full bottle in front of Dixon. Ah, smart tactic, tame the beast with alcohol.

"Before we start, I know Elena wanted to say something." The sheriff said, raising his glass and pointing at me. Damn you, Officer Friendly, for throwing me under the bus like that. I glanced over at Daryl, but he stubbornly watched his plate, not lifting his head.

I coughed for second and stood up. "Yes, right. Well, we all know why we're here. Daryl, happy birthday. I know that you're not the happiest person on the planet at the moment. And you're probably plotting how to kill me in my sleep, right now." I spoke in a modulated tone.

"But you deserve it. Because you're vital part of this group. This family. Without you, we'd often starve, or simply get lost. Without you, some of us would be already dead, T and I on top of that list."

I looked around the room, noticing small encouraging smiles from Maggie and Carol, so I continued. "I know you don't like attention, but it's as much for you as for us. We need some positiveness in our lives, and it's the perfect time for it. We are alive, we are together. We have temporary shelter and a solid plan for winter. And you're part of this. We wanted to show you that we appreciate you and care for you."

He glared at me, but his face wasn't as angry as before, and I'd take it. "So let's eat, drink and then you'll sit and accept our gifts because we spend a lot of fucking time collecting them."

I finished and sat down, making some people giggle at my last remark.

"I'll drink to that." T-Dog was the first one to speak after that, raising his glass before taking a sip. The rest of the group quickly following, including Daryl, who downed his drink in one go. I reached out and poured him another one, catching his blue eyes for a second.

We all ate and had a small chat about nothing, some memories from before the world turned to shit, places I visited in my job, though I speared them gory details. When everyone was visibly relaxed, Carol took charge of gifts. She started bringing them one by one to Daryl.

"OK, let's start with mine." She told him, passing a medium-sized soft package. Hunter licked his fingers, not realizing how sensual it looks like, one after the other. Lori nudged me in my side. Apparently, I was staring. Daryl ripped the paper and looked confused at the grey-haired woman. I leaned forward, seeing this ugly blanket we brought with us after we got stuck in pharmacy weeks ago.

"Um, thanks?"

"Oh, get it here." She lifted it up and showed us something which was resembling a poncho, I think. Stitched together in shoulders. "For the winter, so you not cold." He hummed in reply and sent her a small smile of appreciation.

I on the other hand, was reliving that particular morning when I woke up with Daryl hugging me tightly to his body. His chest was broad, muscly. Not in a way that men gain in a gym, no, he has a working man body, and it made him so much more attractive. His hands were on me, one on the hip, and the other somehow slipped under my shirt, warming the skin on my back.

And then he woke up, tensed, pushed me off him to the floor and didn't speak to me for three days. It was fun, now you see why I doubt that anything romantic will happen between us?

Carol brought another gift over, a small package I recognized as Maggies. The hunter admired the knife for a little bit, then stood up and attached it to his belt, thanking the young woman.

"Elena helped me pick it." I moved my head to her, what's she playing at? Her only response was smirk and a wink. Oh, right, she's still on a mission to get us together.

"That one's from Bethy and me," Hershel said, when Daryl reviled silver compass, with fancy engraving on it, and small swiss army pocket knife.

"Thanks, man," Daryl said when he opened T's gift that contained a whole bottle of whiskey, Jack Daniels, no less. "We'll share."

"No, it's yours."

"If I wanna share I'll," Daryl replied, making the black man smile, at that. I think T-Dog was sometimes still surprised how different Daryl is from Merle, that he won't judge him by the color of his skin.

"Next one is from Lori and Carl."

"We thought you might need a new pair." She told Daryl when he opened the package, and hold up a black pair of pants.

"Thanks." He grunted and put it on top of the ugly blanket, sorry, poncho.

"That's from me," Glenn said when Carol passed the hunter small, rectangular gift. I didn't like how Asian man was smiling, in this same way, when Maggie spoke to me about Daryl. It's dangerous if those two are planning something.

Daryl ripped the newspaper and looked stunned at what looked like a book. "The fuck..." I tried to look at the title, but he quickly stood up and shoved it in his back pocket, without looking at anyone. I squinted my eyes and turned to look at Glenn. He shifted uncomfortably under my graze but was still smiling.

"That's from me, I didn't have time to wrap it," Rick said, walking over and passing new looking Glock 19 to Daryl. He patted his shoulder and sat back down, drinking some water.

"Thanks, man."

"Alrighty, so it's just mine left," I said and moved to the remaining gift. It was bigger then others, it was hard to wrap it all, to not show what it is. I carried it over to him, Daryl was still standing, so I had to lift my head to look him in the eyes.

"I hope you like it," I said, handing the package over. The hunter looked at it suspiciously, before gently picking at the paper, slowly revealing what it was.

A blue, nearly turquoise, quiver, with black stitched patterns. Inside and the strap was made out of black leather. I found it in one of the cars, back in Senoia. It was shorter than normal ones, clearly made for a crossbow, and I automatically thought about the hunter. Inside there were about twenty new bolts, some with green fletchings, some with orange. All black, with steel heads, better than homemade ones, and more durable.

I was watching his face for any reaction, but there was none, he kept looking at the quiver, moving it around. But still, minutes passed, and he didn't say anything, didn't move his eyes, didn't shift his expression. I could feel the tension in the room rising as everyone was waiting for his reaction. The group kept telling me how awesome my present was, Carol kept saying that he was going to love it, and now, here we are, and he's just frozen.

I took a deep breath and put a huge, fake smile on my face.

"I'm gonna have a smoke," I told everyone, and quickly maneuvered between tables, to the back stairs, leading to a roof.

I pushed a small door open, and fresh, crispy air hit me in the face. I swallowed tears that threatened to spill out of my eyes, and scowled, angry at myself. Before I met these damn people, it was years since I fucking cried. And now, at least once a week, I feel like letting my emotions spill and take over. I took out the cigarette and lighted it up.

He didn't like it. So what's the big deal? It's not that I've been looking for two fucking months for a perfect gift, for a complicated man like a Daryl fucking Dixon.

I closed the eyes when I inhaled again, hoping that it'll help calm me down.

"Ya angry?" Gruffy voice sounded from somewhere behind me, making me tense once again.

"Why would I be angry, Daryl?" I answered, flicking finished cigarette over the edge and lighting up another one. I could feel him watch me, my emotionless face, stiff posture. Yeah, I certainly gave away that vibe. I ran a hand over my face, suddenly just tired.

"I'm not angry. There's nothing to angry about." I added softly. I heard him spark the lighter, and I could see a cloud of smoke in the corner of my eye.

"Look, El. I'm not good at this." I chuckled dryly at his words nodding to myself.

"No, shit. No worries, I guess there's no way of pleasing everyone."

"What ya on about, woman?"

I sighed and finally shifted, looking him in the face. "My gift. You don't like it, and it's fine. No big deal."

His face became confused, his eyes bore into my grey ones. "I like it."

Now, I was bewildered. "Then why--"

"I dunno how to deal with that shit, El. I never had a fuckin' birthday party. No one ever gave me somethin' I'd like. Somethin' that was just for me." He said in a low tone. He threw his cigarette to the ground and then gently pried the one from my fingers, doing this same to that one.

"I never had people care 'bout me. Ya know that ya seen it. That's why I was angry when we came back. 'Cause it's fuckin' confusin'. And then yur gift-- Thank you." I closed eyes again, scrunching my face, trying not to cry at his words. "They told me, it's all yur idea."

He moved forward and hesitantly pulled me to him, placing his hands on my back. I wrapped mine around his waist and pushed feet forward, trying to be as close to this man as possible. His warmth, scent, the closeness of his body was calming, relaxing. He was like a drug. And even though I tried, hard to stop it from happening, it did.

I was addicted. And my poison was Daryl Dixon.


	26. Chapter 26

**Day 155**

We moved on to Newnan two days after Daryl's birthday. In this new town, we switched houses every couple of days, it was infested with walkers, but we managed to scavenge more supplies and food.

Now, T's truck's bed was filled with strapped mattresses and blankets. Trunks of other cars where wholly full, and we were moving along 26 for the past two hours. I was getting nervous, scared of what I'd see when we finally reach my house.

I was holding Daryl probably too tight because his hand went to my forearm and tapped it gently.

"I'm sorry," I said in his ear. I watched the shops and abandoned cars as we drove by. "Turn here, into Cochran Mill Road."

Here we go, there was no turning back. We followed that road for about fifteen minutes when I saw the turn. I patted Daryl's stomach and showed it to him.

"Keep going that way."

"Those houses?"

"No, further." The path was small, bearly visible, hidden between the trees. About a mile after the turn there it was, Daryl stopped the bike in front of the gate, and I dismounted it, reaching into my pocket. I put the keys there this morning, remembering how they felt, memories from years back, resurfacing. I found the right one, opened the padlock, and moved the gate, making space for our vehicles. House was already visible; the fence wasn't stretched out that far away from it, so I didn't have to tell Daryl where to go.

I waited for the group to pass me, and I closed it again, jogging towards the porch. People spilled out of the cars, Daryl and Rick going around the house, checking for any uninvited guests.

"Clear, what you think?" Sheriff asked me when they came back.

"It looks untouched. But still. Downstairs we have a kitchen, living room, small bedroom, and office. Upstairs we have a bathroom and three bedrooms."

"OK, Carl, Maggie, Glenn, and I take downstairs. Daryl, T-Dog, and Elena, you go upstairs. Don't bust the doors; we need them."

"They all should be unlocked," I added, moving towards the front door and banged on them. Three minutes later, I still heard no groans, so I put the key into the lock and twisted it. There was a soft click, and we were moving in, I led the way upstairs. All the doors were still closed, just like I left them, I walked over to the last one, while the men stood next to the other. I rose my machete and opened the door, scanning it quickly, making sure that it was empty.

"Clear."

"Clear."

Everyone shouted from their positions, and I moved from the room, using the key to lock it. When I turned around, Daryl was watching me intensely, and I knew I couldn't avoid our chat for much longer.

"Not now," I told him and climbed the stairs down and out to our cars. We moved the majority of our stuff into the living room, and people plunged onto two sofas and on the ground. They looked around the room, and I did the same. It looked exactly how I left it. Double shelved bookcase stood proudly by the wall, my father's collection full of dust. Two red three-seaters positioned in front of the TV, opposite the bookshelves. Brown thick carpet covered the whole floor, and for once, I was happy with my mother's pick. Pine, oval-shaped coffee table, was still covered with my folders, from cases I worked on, before the turn.

I moved quickly and collected them, moving to the kitchen, throwing it in the bin.

"Sorry, you don't need to see that," I told the group when I came back. All of them were looking at me, waiting for a tour, directions, and I sighed.

"Alrighty, so there's a small generator, behind the house, but I'm not sure how long it'll last. That's why we have candles. Let's not waste electricity. We should only use it for water and cooking." I started and leaned against the dark wooden shelves. "I told you there are four bedrooms, but only three are functional. There's a room that's locked upstairs, and I'd like it if it would stay like that, for now."

I swallowed harshly, trying to push distant memories away from my head. I looked through the window and continued. "It won't be warm enough in here when the snow hits, that's why we're going to bunk down in the basement. It's insolated, spacious, and with several shelves. Oh, and a small shower room."

"We haven't seen any basement," Glenn spoke, breaking me out of my thought.

"Right, yes. Get torches, guys." I pulled my backpack off and reached for the flashlight. I stood up in front of the bookshelf and moved to the edge of it, pulling hard. Seconds later, it moved alongside the wall, reviling a small staircase behind it. People around me gasped, and I nodded.

"Yeah, my dad made it himself."

I led the way down, flicking on the light, and when I didn't see any movements, I stood happily in the middle of the big room.

"Nice, huh?" The walls were painted in white, to make it brighter, the carpet was brown again, fluffy. There were two tall metal racks for storage and a table with three chairs.

"That's great, Elena!" Rick said after a moment. "We gonna bring the mattresses here, now. And the majority of our food. T and Glenn, you gonna check the generator."

"And what about sleeping, for now?" Maggie asked once we went back upstairs. Oh, I know what you're thinking, you naughty girl.

"They're two king-sized beds upstairs, and single, downstairs," I told her, winking at Glenn, who turned red in seconds.

"Right. Glenn and Maggie, you can have one bedroom, Lori and Carl will take another. Hershel, you got downstairs." Rick said, looking at me, checking if that's OK.

"Wait, what about Elena?" The older man asked, and I smiled at him.

"Carol and Beth will take sofas, we can leave one of the mattresses here for now, and I think we always need someone on watch anyway."

"That doesn't answer my question. You're very mysterious."

I took a shaky breath, looking around at the people that started to feel to me like a family. But it also wasn't any of their business. "I'll take the last bedroom. It doesn't have a bed, but I'll manage."

Rick gave me a worried glance before urging everyone to move and start bringing our possessions inside. Before I could move anywhere, the sheriff grabbed my arm and whispered in my ear.

"You said no secrets." I looked up, his eyes bright blue, but I could see that he won't give up on that.

"Grab Daryl, meet me upstairs."

I stood by the door, the hand holding keys was shaking uncontrollably, my head touching the cold, wooden surface. I could hear voices, Carol and Lori chatting happily, Carl running around. T-Dog cracking jokes at Glenn. All while the tornado inside me was on the edge of escaping, cracking the emotional walls I spent years building up.

"El?" Voice behind me was soft and low, comforting. He must've noticed my hand because he grabbed it and pried the key off it. His chest pressed onto my back when he moved to reach the lock. He turned it once, and that was it. "Ya ready?"

"No." I sounded brittle, so I cleared my throat, taking a deep breath. "Alrighty, let's do it."

Daryl stepped back, and I opened the door. The room was quite small, comparing to the others. The walls were painted in warm cream with deep purple carpet on the floor. In the corner stood small pine chest of drawers, opposite that, rocking chair of this same shade. And just in front of the doors, by the window, part of this same set, stood small crib, with pink sheets and purple blanket.

I decorated this room, as soon as I found out about the pregnancy, my parents were already dead at that point. Still, I wanted to bring up the kid away from the big city.

"Elena?" Rick's voice was small, looking obviously at the room, and trying to connect the dots. I walked inside, scoffing myself for making the carpet dirty. Looking at dirty, mud stains made my heart hurt. Finally, I twisted, reaching for a small black urn that sat on the dresser and turned back to them.

"Amelia Laura James. Born June twenty-third, two thousand and six." I spoke quietly, pointing at the urn. I wasn't going to say anything else, not to Rick, he didn't need to know. The hunter was another story; I promised him after all. I'll tell him mine, he will tell me his.

"I'm so sorry. When did she--"

"June twenty-third, two thousand and six."

He didn't say anything else; he just nodded and stepped out of the room, leaving me alone with Daryl. I looked at the object in my hands, stroking it gently, remembering tiny baby I wasn't even able to hold.

"I'm going to the back, spread the ashes. Close the door behind you." I told the man, leaving without looking at him. I don't need pity from Rick, not from the rest of the group, and certainly not from this redneck.

Voices became louder, coming from the kitchen, where the back doors were. People kept moving in and out, but at the moment, there was just Carol and Lori standing in the kitchen near the back door.

"We're checking what you got here." The older woman beamed at me, smiling widely. I guess having a roof over their heads, for coming winter cheered their spirits. I hummed on reply and started for a door when the brown-haired woman spoke.

"What's that?" Her voice was soft, I mean there is no mistaking what a fucking urn is, right? I was on the edge of crying as it is, I just had to get away from those praying eyes.

"Ask Rick. Excuse me." I walked past them and finally got out of the house.

I walked over to the corner of the property, to the tall Willow, and kneeled next to it. That was the first tree my dad planted once they moved here from Chicago. My parents always wanted a quiet life, somewhere in the countryside, without prominent Skyliners and traffic noises. This was perfect for that, and I wanted this same for my girl. The little creature I never had a chance to meet.

I don't know how long I was sitting there, holding the urn, and silently crying. Everything around me was quiet, and I completely blocked out the sounds coming from the house, for the past hours. It got darker, the sun setting down behind the horizon. But still, I heard him when he walked over. I think he wanted me to, after all, he knew how to move without making a sound.

He sat down next to me, one leg stretched in front of him, and the other propped up, so he could wrap his arms around it. I had to be a sight, with puffy eyes and a red face. A broken woman, a stranger, comparing to the person I tried to be within the group.

"My dad. He was a bad person." I was surprised when Daryl finally spoke. I didn't expect him to, especially not to share his story first. "He liked to drink when he did; he took out his anger on Ma, or Merle. But then she died, and Merle took off."

I looked over at him, wiping my face and giving him my full attention. Hunter was looking ahead, watching leaves gently rocking with the wind. He was chewing on his thumb, and the other hand clenched tightly into a fist.

"I was only one left. He got angrier and was more drunk than sober. That's the scars. Belt." He shifted a little as if just a mention of that made his back itch. "Sometimes, when I was down, couldn't move, he'd put out cigarettes on me."

I closed my eyes, fighting another wave of tears, this time for the young boy, who had no one to save him, take care of, show what love and family are about.

"Merle came back for me, though. When I was fifteen. Didn't finish school, just ran away with him. Grabbing random jobs, drink most of days, livin' off his drug money. He was in jail when turn happened. I was visitin' my Uncle, and he wanted to show me that dad changed, stop drinkin'. Some bullshit. So three of us were stuck in the woods. Da got bit, and I couldn't put him down." His voice got angrier, and he finally looked at me, shaking his head.

"After all that bastard did to me, Merle, Ma, still I couldn't fuckin' kill him. Uncle did, in-process he got bit too. We traveled for a day to get Merle out before he turned." He sighed and closed his eyes. I knew that it was the end of his story, and more tears spilled out of my eyes.

"When I was twenty-six, my parents died." I started in a chocked voice, barely recognizing it. "Murdered. I had my Ph.D. already, fresh out of the Academy, fresh in the BAU. We weren't allowed to intervene. Local police pinned it as an armed robbery. Few things were missing from the house, you know." I took a deep breath, remembering how angry I was when we were told to go back to DC.

"They never caught him. But I became obsessed. In between cases, I was looking at similar break-ins across the country. And I found a connection. We were close, three times, we nearly got him, but he was smart. He played with us, with me. In the meantime, I found out I was pregnant. Some one night stand, a guy I used, to try to forget."

I licked my lips and sniffed when more tears came down my face.

"I was seven months when we got a lead again. I shouldn't even be in the field at that point. But I was, with only one person, a member of my unit, Peter. We shou-- should've waited for the rest of the team and SWAT."

I had to stop, I was sobbing uncontrollably at that point, and I hid my face in the hands, trying to calm down. I was so close to the finish, to the end of the story. I felt a warm palm on my back, Daryl didn't move it, just hold still in that spot until I was ready.

"Conner Mathews. He killed Peter in front of me. And then with-- with a big smile on his face, he ripped into my belly. Deep. I-- the pain-- I don't know how I managed that. From then on, everything is blurry. I had a knife in my boot. You know how I like knives. I-- I slit his throat." I looked at Daryl, his face was unreadable, but he was listening.

"They took her out. I remember-- I wanted to hold her so-- so bad. I was out during the surgery. Michelle, my friend, was there when I woke up. All in pain, without a bump. And I was scr-- screaming for my baby, to let me hold her. But by that time, she already told the doctor to-- to cremate her. She was-- so small and-- didn't even look like a baby. Slashed, ripped apart. I was left with scars, an urn, and scarred ovaries to the point that I can't have any more kids."

I was chocking on my tears at that point. The pain in my chest almost as fresh as the morning I woke up in that hospital bed years ago. Gapping whole for something I lost and something I won't be able to have ever again.

Daryl shifted beside me, pulling me closer, and without hesitation, I buried my face in his chest. He was stiff at first, making me remember that he doesn't do well with physical contact, but he still placed his hands on my back, let me cry for as long as I needed. His embrace calmed me down; it felt like home. So I started to cry again, for Amelia, for alone, sad boy that was so mistreated by his parents. I sobbed, longing for something I won't ever have, for the warmth of Daryl's body, for feelings he won't return.

"We should go back," Daryl whispered in my ear. I don't even know how much time passed; the moon was already high in the sky, stars shinning, high above us.

"Alright." My voice was flat. I stopped crying some time ago, just enjoying that moment. Saying goodbye to the old life and memories. I hugged him tighter, for one last time and then pushed myself away from his body. "Thank you."

I stood up and grabbed the urn, looking at it for a moment before opening it. I tipped it to the side, letting ashes spill onto the ground next to the tree. Some of them were taken by the wind, and some reached the earth and the roots.

"Goodnight, my love." It was time. That was the actual reason I was in Georgia at the beginning of the apocalypse. I wanted to do it on the anniversary of that day. Fucking walkers took that away from me, but I was back now, and it was time.

I wiped my face and took a deep breath, turning back towards the house. There was small light coming from the living room, and I knew I'd have to face the group. But it's alright, they're my new family, and they care.

"Come on, El." I followed the hunter to the door, and he knocked on it three times. Seconds later, they swang open, reviling Maggie's worried face. I guess she was on watch.

"You're back!" Before I could blink, she pulled me inside and hugged me.

"Mags, can't-- breathe."

"Sorry." She stepped back, smiling gently. "We got dinner for you, some wine." She grabbed my hand and led me towards the living room. Carl stood up immediately from the couch, making a space for me, and that's where Maggie urged me to go. I looked around the room, observing what they did in the past hours. The bookshelf was closed again, giving no signs of a secret staircase. They moved chairs from the kitchen so everyone could sit together. A single mattress layed by the window with a pillow and a blanket.

Carol came to the room carrying two plates. Oh, we had fucking plates and cutlery. I never thought we would eat like that again. She looked at me uncomfortably, passed me one of the dishes, and gave the other to the hunter.

"We filled the basement," Rick said, he had taken a chair opposite the sofas so that he could see everyone. "And checked the generator. It's still good, but I think we should only turn it on when we need it."

I nodded at that and put a mouthful of food into my mouth. After swallowing, I broke the silence. "There's a lake, about ten minutes further into the woods. We could use it for washing, bring water in canisters or something."

I looked around the room, and just then realized that most of them had clean faces and fresh clothes. They already used the showers, it seemed.

"We took your room, I think," Maggie told me. "You still got clothes there, and we left some warm water for you and Daryl." She nodded towards the hunter, and he scrunched his face at the thought of shower.

"You can't keep walking dirty," Carol told him, looking over his filthy form.

"You all are welcome to take some clothes, but I don't know how well they'll fit you." I looked at Lori and smiled sadly at her. "I have some pregnancy pants. They might be too short, but at least your belly would be comfortable."

I finished eating and stood up. Glenn quickly took the plate from me, and I've been urged upstairs. Wow, they treat me like I'm gonna break down right here and now. My bedroom didn't change either; I moved towards a big wardrobe and picked new sets of clothes. New pair of denim pants and a loose, purple blouse. That's for tomorrow, I moved to the dresser and found my old jogger bottoms and long sleeve FBI training sweatshirt, to sleep in.

The shower was refreshing, mainly because it was almost cold, I was tired, physically, and mentally. I didn't realize until this morning how scared of coming back here I was. But I think this is what I needed, some sort of closure. To finally close the doors to my past and not feel bad about it. To not keep all those memories and emotions bottled up inside me.

I think washing my hair was the most enjoyable, my locks were now nearly reaching my waist, heavy, tangled. I poured tons of conditioner on it, just to help brush it once I'm done.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped my body and hair in towels. Wiping off the steam from the mirror, I looked at myself, for the first time in months, really looked. My face was hollow, eyes still puffy from all the crying I did this evening, there were few new wrinkles on my forehead, but I didn't care about that. I took the towel off and looked down at my body. It didn't change that much, the stomach was more flat, but ribs weren't super exposed, not yet at least. My breast seemed to be smaller but still sat proudly were they should be. My legs were less muscly; most of our running was now done by cars.

I quickly got dressed and found a brush and scissors in one of the drawers. I walked out of the bathroom, just to nearly bump into Daryl.

"Are you my bodyguard now?" I tried to tease him, though it still came out a bit flat.

"Nah, ya don't need one." I noticed he had a fresh pair of clothes in his arms, so I stepped aside, letting him go and wash. He stood still for a moment, before looking me in the eyes. "Ya alright?"

"Gotta be, Big Boy." I gave him a stiff smile and walked downstairs. It was emptier than before, Rick was whispering to T-Dog by the window, we agreed to keep watch during the night. Beth was lying comfortably under the blanket on one of the couches; Carol, book in her hand occupied the other.

"Carol, can you help me with something?" I asked her in a low tone, to not wake up a young woman. Carol looked at me and put the book away, following me to the kitchen.

It was a modern room, I slightly redecorated after my parents passed away, with a new cooker and counters.

"Elena, I wanted to--"

"Stop." I interrupted her, turning to face her. "You already apologized, you don't need to do it again."

"But I didn't know."

"No, you didn't. But it doesn't change anything." I pulled the towel out of my hair, letting it spill down my back. "Could you please cut my hair?"

She looked at me funny, but I ignored it and sat down on one of the stools next to the counter. I passed her the brush, and hesitantly she took it.

"Are you sure? They are beautiful." She started running it through my tangles locks, pulling at them gently.

"Yes. Maybe just below shoulders? So I can still tie it up. But they're so heavy, and dirt gets everywhere. And I'm afraid that one day I won't be able to brush them anymore."

"I don't think I ever saw you with your hair down." She commented, keep going at her actions.

"I don't want to be grabbed. I was vain, I should've done it months ago."

"You have a nice book collection here." She changed the subject, trying to pull at some, especially stubborn knot.

"My farther's mainly. But psychology books are mine."

"Hmm. Bangs or not?"

"With those curls? No, thank you." I answered, cringing at the images of myself with a fringe.

"OK, let's do it then unless you changed your mind?"

"No. Go for it, Carol."

The short-haired woman used the brush again, pulling any loose strands back, away from my face. She reached for the scissors from the counter and touched a point by my shoulder.

"Here?"

"A little lower, it's shorter when dried."

Carol started cutting, and I felt a little anxious. I always had long hair for as long as I can remember. But maybe that was another problem. I kept clinging to the past. My attitude, pushing people away, only because I was scared of what happened to me. No, today it's a new me. Amelia is resting in peace; she never had to live through fucking zombies, neither did my parents. And that's something I should be glad about. They don't have to suffer, lose people. They won't get bitten.

"I think it's done. Tell me if it's alright." Carol pulled me out of my thoughts, I stood up and walked to the hallway, to look into the mirror. My hair was still wet, but so far, the length seemed OK. I bend down, putting my head down, and kneaded locks a little to make them more pronounced. I straightened up and looked at myself again.

"Yes, it's perfect, thank you, Carol. Goodnight." I smiled at her and walked past her back to the kitchen. I grabbed my things and climbed up the stairs, moving towards the bedroom at the end of the corridor. The door wasn't closed like it should be, and I could see flicking light of a candle seeping through the crack. I pushed the door open and looked at the figure propped against the wall.

"You just can't stay away, Dixon."

"Do ya want me to go?" I thought about that for a second, observing him. He was clean, his hair still damp. They were getting longer, some loose strands getting into his eyes, others start to cover his ears. He had both legs bend in front of him, a bottle of whiskey in one of his hands.

"No." I never want you to go, you hillbilly, I'll always gravitate towards you. "You need help with that?" I pointed towards the bottle, grabbing a purple blanket from the crib and sitting down next to him.

Daryl didn't reply, just opened the drink and passed it to me.

"You don't have a watch tonight?"

"Nah, I told Rick I'd do tomorrow night."

I scoffed because I knew why the sheriff agreed to that. "They all walk on the eggshells around me, now."

"They care. Ya said it. We family. We take care of each other."

"How much did you drink already?"

"Shut up." I laughed at that and swallowed a sip of a golden drink. It made me cringe a little, warm feeling spreading from my mouth to the bottom of the belly.

"Ya cut yur hair." He commented, casually, making me look over at him.

"I did."

"Looks good on ya." Alrighty, I definitely blushed, I wasn't expecting him to notice, and surely wasn't ready for a complement.

"Thank you. Tomorrow, I want to start teaching them self-defense." I told the man, giving him back the bottle.

"Ya think it's a good idea?" He said in his normally hoarse voice.

"We finally have sort of secured place, we're far away from streets and walkers. Yeah, it's time."

"Alright."

"I'll need your help, though."

"What for, woman?" He furrowed his brows at me, not understanding my implications.

"The main thing about self-defense is to protect yourself from bigger opponents. How to neutralize them quickly and efficiently."

"Use Rick."

I hummed and cocked my head, smirking at him playfully. "I thought about that. But we can't have our leader injured, can we?"

"Ya think ya'll put me down, princess?" I saw a mischievous spark in his eyes, I pried the bottle from his grasp and took a long gulp, still looking him in the eyes.

"I'd need two minutes tops."

"In yur dreams."

"Oh, so you think I wouldn't be able to?"

"Look at ya. Ya what? Five, four? hundred pounds no more." He was shaking his head, seemed genuinely amused.

"Five, three, and it's more like a hundred twenty, thank you very much. But I understand." I took another sip before he snatched the drink from me.

"What?"

"Oh, that you're scared." He huffed at that, but I kept talking. Reverse psychology, bitch. "You don't want them to see you lose to small women, like myself. It's fine, I'll tell Rick you not up to the task."

"Shut up, woman. Fine, I'll do it, just stop with yur games." I looked at him, innocently and laughed.

"Thanks, Daryl. To be fair, it'll be good for you as well."

"Hmm."

We spoke for a little bit more, I layed on my side, facing him, watching his face, when he was telling me one of the stories about Merle and his drug dealer. I could listen to his voice all the time, but now, it was calming me down, making my eyes close. Putting me to sleep, with his gravelly baritone and that southern drawl. Wrapped in Amelia's blanket, with his warm body just inches from me, my soul lighter than it's been for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, we're finding more about Elena's past. What do you think? I'm super excited about the next chapters.
> 
> Remember, don't be a silent reader, comment. Tell me what you think, what you like, and dislike.
> 
> Cheers :)


	27. Chapter 27

**Day 156**

"Alrighty, listen up!" I spoke confidently, interlocking my hands behind the back. It was late morning, and all of us stood in the back garden, Daryl next to me with a grumpy face, the rest of the group in front of me. We all dressed comfortably, I had my black denim slacks, boots, and black long sleeve top. My newly cut hair was pulled into a high ponytail. Rick stood further behind, watching us, gun in his hand. Hershel was the only one not here; he was keeping watch at the front side of the house, holding one of the walkie-talkies with him, to let us know if someone uninvited would come.

"The first thing you need to know is that Krav Maga is not a martial art. It's a form of self-defense. And that's what I'm gonna show you, only how to protect yourself."

"But, you know more?" Carl asked me, he was very excited since he woke up, looking forward to seeing what's going to happen.

"I have a black belt, kiddo. Anyway. The first reaction should be to find a way to run away. If you can, you run. But if you can't, then, there's a few techniques I'll show you to give you time, to run. First, I'll show you how I'd protect myself in a fight, and then we'll go over moves."

I turned around to Daryl with a huge grin, cocking my eyebrow at him. "Ready, Big Guy?"

"Bring it, princess." Oh, he was as excited about that as I was. Good.

I stood in a stance, legs spread, and balanced. Elbows close to my body, but not tense. I moved my fingers, inviting the hunter to make his move. He was hesitant at first, it was sweet, the thought that he didn't want to hurt me. But I guess my grinning face convinced him, and he also wanted to prove me wrong.

He was quick, swinging his body forward, bringing his fist to my face. I wanted him to sweat, to play with him. So I dodged his arm, bending my knees, so he missed me. I sent a palm into his chest, pushing him away. I spun around and kicked at his knees, making sure to not put too much force into it.

Daryl, went down to one knee, huffing a little. But quickly composed himself and jumped back to his feet, launching at me again. This time I stepped back, grabbed his wrist and arm, keeping it in place. I brought my leg up, my knee colliding with his side, making him groan in pain. I shifted to push him down, but he moved, spinning around, so now he was holding me, one arm across my chest, the other gently landing on my throat. He was panting slightly, his breath tingling my ear.

I moved my hands and grabbed the arm that was holding my neck. One leg forward, the other bend, I pulled, until Daryl flew over my back and shoulder. His back slammed to the ground. I took hold of his hands and pushed my calf onto his troat. We locked eyes, and I smirked, making him squint his bright blue eyes.

"In this position, I'd apply all my body weight to cut the airway, so he'd pass out. Or if I would move, just a little," I spoke and showed them where my leg was. "I could've completely crushed his trachea. Um, windpipe."

I stood up and stepped away from the hunter, stretching my arm to help him stand up.

"OK, that was entertainment. Now down to business." I looked over at Daryl, but he seemed to be fine. "Please stand straight, spread your legs, arms down."

He clenched his jaw at that and mumbled something under his nose, but complied.

"Easy spots, that can buy you time. Eyes, soft tissue only, you poke your opponent, and they can't see for a little bit." I made a move as to jab my fingers into Daryl's eyes, to show the group what I mean.

"Face, of course. But the best spot is going for a nose or jaw. The nose will bleed, and eyes will water. If you hit the jaw in the right spot, hard enough, it can knock them out. Yeah, you got it so far?"

I looked to the side, looking at the group's faces, and they were watching, nodding their heads.

"OK, going lower. Throat, again either fist or like that." I held up my stretched palm, to Daryl's Adam's apple. "Important tip. With a fist, thumb always goes outside; otherwise, you'll break it. Next Vertical Vertebrae." I grabbed Daryl's arms and moved him slightly so people could see the point at the back of his neck I was pointing to.

"It's part of nervous system; it depends on how hard and on the spot you hit. It'll cause pain, paralysis, or even death."

I could see Carol and Lori cringe a little at that, but I ignored it. They needed to know that.

I moved the hunter back into the position and pointed at his chest. "Solar Plexus. It will knock the air out of your opponent. Touch the front of your chest and find where your ribcage ends." I waited for the group to do as I say, doing this same, showing them what I mean. "In the middle, that joining point. And when we go down, just a tad, that's the spot. You all got it?" I saw even Rick, discreetly touching his chest, to look for it.

"Then, the next good spot are kidneys. Hurts like a bitch, trust me." Maggie and Carl giggled at that, which made me smile. "But it's not a joke. A kidney is a vital part of our bodies. If you strike it hard enough, it can cause immobilization, permanent damage, or even death."

I moved Daryl again and showed the group two spots on his sides, before turning him back.

"Now, groin. Ladies, we don't know what's the pain like. Guys, if you've been hit there, ever, you know how painful it can be. A fist is a good choice, but not very comfortable. Better to hold on to your opponent, and use your knees." I touched hunter's shoulders and lifted my leg, stopping before I actually reached him. I think he'd flip.

"Next, knees. Now, that's kicking. If you do it at the front, you can bust the knee caps. If you push a foot into the back of it, well, you saw it. You pushing your opponent down."

I stood straight next to Daryl and looked at the faces around me. "So, eyes, nose, jaw, throat, back of the neck. Diaphram, kidney, balls, and knees. Now I will show you how to get out when they actually got a hold of you.

The next hours were fun, for me at least. I'm not so sure about Daryl. I think once or twice, I actually hit him for real, but he never said anything. I showed the group how to get away when someone grabs you from behind and pins you down. I told them to train gently on each other. I walked around, correcting their stances, explaining more, if they needed it. I showed Carl how to use his height to his advantage, and Lori, how to use her body without endangering her bump.

It was afternoon, and I knew we needed to stop, get something to eat, and rest. But I still had one more thing to show them. I took out two long pieces of cloth from the back pocket of my pants and wrapped it quickly around my hands and, most importantly, wrists.

"OK, that'll be enough for today. Glenn, do you have those zip ties?" I asked the Asian man, and he reached into his pockets to take out two plastic ties.

"I still don't understand."

"Just watch." I walked back, standing once again in front of the group, asking Daryl to help me out. I gave him the ties and pushed my arms forward, clasping hands together. I had a smirk on my lips while he shifted a little the situation, making him uncomfortable.

"Zip me, Big Boy." He grunted in response, but brought one of them around my wrists, tying them loosely.

"OK, how to get out if you're tied down. I told you back at the farm, if it's proper cuffs, you'd have to break or dislocate your thumbs. Not everyone can do it to themselves. But with those, it's easier." I moved my hands around to show them that I can't move and nodded.

"First, make sure that locking head is on top, facing the sky." I pulled my wrists up, looking them over, and then used my mouth and teeth to move it around into the right position. "Next, it has to be tight." I used my teeth again to pull on the zip tie, to make it bind me more. "OK, it's all about physics and force and other bulshit. You raise your hands and then quickly bring them down." I showed them in slow movement what I mean, bringing the hands; between my chest and belly. Before you do it, take a deep breath, tense your stomach muscles. Imagine that you want to reach your shoulder blades with elbows."

I rose my arms again, and this time, I did exactly what I told them, bringing my bound wrists down in one swift motion. And I was free. Carl jumped in excitement, and Maggie looked impressed. Yes, I am a show-off.

"OK, now back. Daryl, if you could." I turned around, so my back was to him, and I put my hands behind me. Again gently, he wrapped the plastic band around the wrists and pulled.

"This one is harder because you can't see. But you can feel." I said above my shoulder. "Wrigle your wrists a little, to put the locking head facing up." I showed them what I mean, it took me a few minutes, but I got there.

"Raise your hands as far as you can, and stick your butt out." I showed them what I mean and then slowly brought the arms down, placing my wrists over the coccyx. "In this position, you use your tailbone." My arms went up again, and just like before, I stroke down, freeing myself once more.

"OK, let's go eat," Rick spoke from the house, bringing our attention to him. I looked behind me, noticing that Daryl's already looking at me. I sent him a cheerful smile, but he just scowled at me.

"Hey, you alright? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

He shook his head but didn't reply, starting to go back, passing me without a second glance.

"So, that's the problem, huh?" I spoke after him, crossing my arms over my chest.

"What?"

"Daryl. We both know that neither of us actually tried to hurt each other." I strode over to him, searching for his eyes. "The sole purpose of this exercise was for you to lose. To show that even if you're smaller, weight less, don't have bulging muscles or wide shoulders, you still can win, or buy enough time, to save yourself."

"Whatever." He grunted, but I noticed that his face got red.

"Would I win in a real fight, too? Probably, but I wouldn't bet on being in one piece. I wouldn't want your fist to collide with my face. You'd probably knock me down straight away" I smirked at him and patted his chest. "Come on, Big Boy, let's eat."

We were trekking through the woods, Rick, T-Dog, Daryl, Glenn, and I. I wanted to show them where the lake was located, and that way, we could check if they are any walkers in the area. For now, we stumbled across one, walking slower than usual, a potential sign that colder temperature is affecting them.

"It'd make sense," I spoke suddenly, making Rick catch up to me.

"What?"

"Um, walkers. That one was slower. We should look for others to confirm it, but-- so they're dead. It means I hope that their blood is not pumping through the veins. In that case, it'd mean they will get slower, sort of freeze on the inside."

"Well, we'd have to check that. It would be amazing. Would give us an advantage, definitely." Sherrif said, looking ahead, deep in thought.

"Lake will be frozen too," Daryl grunted from behind me, making me nod slowly.

"Yeah, but we got pickaxe, we will break the ice, once it comes to that."

We finally came out from the tree line, onto a small opening in front of the water.

"Now, I hope you paid attention, that's the only safe route." I pointed ahead, showing them that body of water was actually located in a small ravine. "You don't want to fall down."

I looked down again, and a small shiver run down my spine. Yeah, I'm not going anywhere near it. My last adventure in water nearly cost me my life, I'll pass.

"I'll keep guard," I told them, turning back towards the woods, bow in my hand ready. None of them seemed to protest when they walked to the edge and started filling various buckets and containers we had with us.

"We can easily filter it and cook it," T-Dog said after filling, yet another bucket. "It'll help save the generator. We will use less by cooking it when we need, then heating up a boiler."

"We checked it. I think we can stay here longer than we thought." Rick added, linning up the containers, making Daryl fill up the last one.

"What you mean?" I asked him, looking over my shoulder at him.

"It's petrol-based. Generator. We can keep refiling it, get a good routine going with it. Have that place as a central place; keep scavenging in surrendering towns."

"We would have to fortify the place, make the fence stronger," T suggested, making me hum in reply. I never thought of this place as anything more than just something we'll survive winter in.

"If we're serious about this, we need to ask Hershel what he'll need for the baby," I told the men when they walked back up to me. I reached for one of the buckets from Daryl, but he shook his head.

"Nah, ya keep an eye out." He told me, tightening his grip on two big buckets he was carrying. I licked my lips involuntarily, and quickly turned around, to lead us back to the house.

"We'll ask him and see if we can get what he needs," Rick told us confidently. I wish that I was so sure about our future.

"Well," I started again, clearing my throat. "We already have a crib. That's one thing off the list."

I didn't mean to make any of them uncomfortable. I don't know what I tried to be fair. To show them that it's alright? That they don't have to treat me like some porcelain doll, I'll be fine, and avoiding the subject won't help. It never does, and I kept it bottled up for so long already, it's time to stop.

There was a noise of a twig breaking somewhere on our left. I froze immediately, and lifted my fist up, to show the men to stop as well. I moved silently into that direction, and then I smelled it, that distinct scent of decay. I turned around, back towards the men.

"Go, you're just five minutes away. I'll take care of that." I whispered and moved without waiting for an answer.

I walked towards the noises, quietly, my knees bend, the bow ready with an arrow already notched in place. I moved some lose branch out of my way, but that was enough to get their attention. About half a dozen walkers turned into my direction. I sent the arrow into the head of the closest one, instantly reaching behind for another one. I moved to the right, so I don't lead them back to the guys. I took another shot, observing the walkers. They were definitely moving slower, but they groans, and snapping jaws were just as vicious as usual.

I grabbed another arrow, shot the third geek, and swung the bow over my shoulder when they came in closer. I grabbed two of the knives from my reins and threw one, holding the other tightly and swinging it at the head of female geek, that was in my reach.

I circled the last one and kicked it in the chest, bending down in swift motion, stabbing it in the brain. I was ready to breathe out and do a small celebration dance when something pushed me down, hard, making me lose the blade somewhere in the leaves.

"You killin' them!" Someone yelled in my ear, making me flinch. They were lying on me, something pressing into my side. "You killed Frank and Joey! Now I kill you!"

A woman, from the weight on me, I anticipated that she was smaller than me, or my size. But the way she pinned me down, gave me an opening, making me thrust my elbow up, hitting her face. She cried out in pain and slightly rolled over from me, pushing up I kicked her away from me, reaching for a hunting knife from my tight.

"The fuck lady?" I took a good look at her, messy and dirty hair, I couldn't tell what color they were supposed to be. Her clothes were full of mud and blood, ripped in places. She looked starved, and something was shouting crazy, in her eyes, that was staring at me with pure hatred.

"You killed them!" Was the only answer, she was holding her nose, and looking around at the bodies.

"They were already dead."

"No! You did this!" She was surprisingly fast on her feet when she launched herself at me. I rolled to the side and then sprung up.

"Lady, I don't want to hurt you," I told her gently, but she just growled at me and brought her knife up, swinging her arm at me. I blocked her arm, twisting it to the side, but she headbutts me, sending me back. I saw black spots for a moment, shaking my head to try to clear my vision. But that was the opening she needed. She pushed me to the ground, wrapping her small hands around my neck.

Instinctively I stretched my arm up, trying to push her off me, but she was keen for her small frame. Breathing became harder, and I used my other hand to try to find the blade that landed next to me.

She kept pressing her small hands into my neck, slowly cutting off my oxygen supply. I scratched her face, making her cry in pain, but the only thing I achieved was her going more feral, pressing harder with her whole body weight.

I finally felt the blade's coldness under my fingertips, and I grabbed it, pricking my fingers in the meantime. I started seeing black spots, meaning that I was about to lose consciousness. I pulled the knife towards me, and using the last of my strength, I grabbed the handle, swinging the blade at a woman's head. Her hands went slack, and she slummed on me, her blood pouring all over me.

I took deep, shaky breaths for a moment, and then I pushed her off me. I moved to all fours, gently touching my neck, feeling the bruises already forming.

"Fucking bitch." My voice was hoarse, but that was expected. Fucking, hell. I should've just killed her when she attacked me the first time. I pushed her body to her back, scanning her face properly for the first time. "Nancy. Fucking, Nancy."

One of my neighbors, I guess the apocalypse drove her mad. Not everyone can survive that sort of craziness, but that was something fucking else.

When I felt strong enough to stand up, I collected all my knives and arrows, and then started a walk of shame, back to the house. Oh, Daryl will have a ball.

House came into view, I opened the back gate when I reached it. I could see the curtains moving, and second, later, Glenn and Daryl burst through the door. The hunter's shoulders were tense, and if how he held his crossbow was any indication, I'd say he thought I was one of the dead ones.

"I'm alive, you hillbilly." I crocked at him, his face relaxing for a second before he jogged towards me, grabbing my arms.

"The hell happen to ya, woman?" Did I sense the worry in his deep voice? Who fucking gives a shit, right now I needed water, shower, and sleep. I think I was still in slight shock, because it took me a moment to register, that Daryl was touching me, like everywhere.

"Fuck you doing? Make me dinner first, at least." I swatted his hands away, scrunching my face in confusion.

"Ya bit?" Ah, that made more sense.

"No. Just had a lovely chat with my old neighbor. Can I come inside and fucking sit down, before I tell you?" That made him finally stop checking for bites or scratches, and he wrapped an arm around my middle, helping my walk.

"My legs are not injured, you now?"

"Just shut up, El."

"Just saying, not complaining." I tried to smile at him, but I don't think I achieved that, because his eyes went darker, like usually when he got angry.

"Elena, God. What happened?" Glenn asked me with a scared face, letting us walk through the door.

"Jeez. I'm fine. Just let me sit down." I told him, and let Daryl lead me to the couch. Lori and Carl gasped at how I looked like, and Hershel immediately went into the doctor's mode.

"Are you hurt, what happened?"

"It's not my blood, relax. I'm not bitten or scratched."

"Here." Carol sat down next to me with a bowl of water and a fresh towel, starting to wipe my face and neck. "Take off your coat."

I complied, flinching when she got to the sore spot around my throat.

"Elena, what happened." Rick crouched in front of me, searching for my eyes.

"Nothing. I took down six walkers and was about to leave. This woman came from fucking nowhere." I told them, thanking Carol at this same time and gently taking the towel from her. I started wiping my neck and around the neckline. "She was fucking nuts. I started yelling at me, saying I killed them."

"Them?" Maggie asked, confusion evident on her face.

"Yeah, I figured she meant the walkers. She attacked me, and I hesitated." I looked Rick into the eyes, knowing that he'll understand. "I didn't want to kill her, but she was nuts. Anyway, she tried to strangle me. I killed her."

"The hell, can't leave ya for fuckin' minute," Daryl spoke, and I noticed he was pacing in the corner, chewing on his thumb.

"And how I supposed to know it'll happen? I'm fine, I'm here. Stop being such a drama queen," I told him, furrowing my brows. He just scowled at that and left the room.

"He's just worried," Carol said in a hushed voice. "He was ready to go get you when you didn't come back."

"Hm."

"She's right." Maggie winked at me, and I just rolled my eyes at that. To be fair, I'd probably be the first to go search for him if the roles would reverse. But still, I don't need that fucking attitude right now, I just need sleep.


	28. Chapter 28

**Day 160**

"It's a brilliant idea!" I spoke looking over at Carl, who was beaming like it was Christmas already.

"It's stupid idea," Daryl grumbled in a low tone. I slapped his arm playfully, and he glared at me, moving forward.

"Ignore grumpy pants, here. I think it's great, kiddo. And I bet the others will think so, too."

"You think?" The boy looked at me hopefully, and I nodded, smiling at him widely.

We were just returning from the quick swap of the house that was half a mile next to mine. There were definitely signs of someone living there, which means that indeed crazy Nancy was around, keeping an eye on her walker husband and brother.

We found some canned food and bones which, according to Daryl, belonged to opposum, maybe a raccoon. Nothing else was there, really. Windows were boarded, the back doors barricaded.

Rick, Glenn, and Maggie stayed behind, grabbing blankets and duvets, loading it into the car we took. Daryl insisted on hunting and ignoring me when I stated that all the big game will be sleeping at that point, and birds would move on months ago, to go somewhere warmer. I think he just wanted to get away for a bit, feel the forest, and peacefulness. And as always, especially since my little adventure in the woods, he pulled me with him.

I couldn't decide if it was cute or annoying as fuck. All that protectiveness, I didn't need it. I was fine, and to be fair, I saved Dixon's life as many times as he did mine.

"Of course, Carl." I pulled out of my thoughts, smiling at young Grimes next to me. He insisted on coming, and let me tell you Daryl wasn't happy.

"I just- we need something. Some happiness." The boy answered, and I could see Daryl's back and how it stiffened.

"It's very wise, we do deserve some of that."

"Can ya two stop yapping for two minutes? There's not space for sentiments in this world." Daryl huffed at us, making Carl's face drop, something which made me angry.

"Sure," I told him, but I was planning to scold Dixon, already. I put an arm around the boy, to show him that I got his back.

We walked into the property, the car that others took was already there. Daryl let us through, and I pulled Carl forward.

"Wait for me before you tell the others. I need to do something first." He looked at me, confused, but nodded, walking up to the door. When Beth opened them, I pushed the boy forward and then closed the door, turning around to Dixon.

He furrowed his brows at me, but I walked down the porch and pulled him with me, holding his wrist, to the fence.

"What ya doin', woman?" He grunted and tried to slip from my grasp, but I didn't let him go until we were standing by the tree. The same one, over which I spread Amelia's ashes, not even a week ago.

"Now, Dixon. You going to stand here and look pretty. And you going to fucking listen to what I got to say." He huffed at my words, crossing his arms across the chest. I put hands on my hips and looked at him with a deadly stare. "Great. You do not put down Carl like that ever again. It's not fair. I understand that you're all tough, manly guy, and you don't need all that stupid socialization bulshit. And I get that you don't know how to talk to kids." I took a deep breath, and he used that to interrupt me.

"Have ya seen the world? It went to shit! There ain't a time for some stupid games, celebrations or birthdays."

"Ah, so you still holding onto that one. We do need those. To feel alive!" I got closer to Daryl with every word I spoke, nose flaring, and chest rising quickly. "To not lose hope, to feel that despite all the deaths we witnessed, there is still something besides raw survival."

I had to lift my head to look him in the eyes, my chest was touching him, his crossed arms just above my breasts. I could feel him stiff, and his eyes went wild. He was cornered, I was almost yelling at him, invading his personal space.

"I'm not asking you to change. Frankly, most of the time, I like you how you're. But when we talk about Carl, kids, please try to restrain your pessimistic and negative opinions."

We didn't move for seconds after I finished, and only then did I realize how close to each other we were standing. How easy it would be to just climb up on my toes and kiss those scowling lips.

"So what." He hissed in my face. "Ya gonna make it about my daddy, and broken past?"

I straightened up my back and cocked my brow at him, stepping back. Suddenly my brain completely forgot that I was standing next to someone I wanted, now I was just bitter, running a tongue over my teeth.

"Did I mention anything about your past? Is that what you think of me? That I'd just use what you told me against you?"

"Ain't that what ya did before? All that information used to take people down?" He moved forward, bending down, and pointing the finger at me.

"If you can't be nice to Carl, or treat him like a child should be, maybe how you'd want to be treated at his age," I said in a cold voice, he wanted to go down that road, no problem. "Then don't talk to him at fucking all. And if you're thinking so low of me, then guess what. You don't have to talk to me either." I spun on my heel, hearing him groan.

"Fine with me, woman!"

"Fine!"

I walked into the house, agitated, nearly slamming the door behind me before I remembered that we have a danger of walkers.

"That looked steamy." Maggie's voice sounded amused. She stood in the kitchen with Carol, Lori, and T-Dog, all pretending to be busy.

"If it's not our Gossip Group. Enjoyed the show?" I asked them coldly. None of them seemed offended.

"I would opt for some hugs," T commented, cocking his head at me.

"I was waiting for you two to finally kiss," Carol said casually, stirring something in the pan, on top of the cooker.

"We literally could see sparks flying."

I scoffed at that and sent them a fake smile. "Well, sorry to disappoint guys, but the only thing you'll see from now on is zero interactions. Silence." I looked them over and shook my head.

"Come on, guys. Carl got something to tell you." People in the house stopped what they were doing and looked over at the boy sitting on the sofa. Now he was blushing, having all eyes on him, growing nervous.

"Um, so, Elena said that it's just a month to Christmas. And I know we can't have a tree or anything like that." He started in a shy voice, playing with his fingers. I gave him an encouraging smile and then heard doors opening. A moment later, the hunter stood in the doorframe of a living room, glaring like a wild animal. He kept his distance next to Carol.

"We are a family now, all of us. And of course, presents are hard to find and get, right now. But I thought we could do a secret Santa, so everyone gets something."

I could see how proud Lori was of her son. She was smiling widely at him, Rick's expression didn't change much, but there was a small twist of his mouth, and he was stroking his beard, definitely thinking about it.

"I like that," Beth said first, she was second youngest, just seventeen, she was kind and still full of hope. This young woman recovered from her breakdown quite nicely, I'd say. I moved to the bookshelf, taking one of the notebooks I had here. I looked around for a pen, finally finding it in the drawer of a TV stand. I ripped a page and started writing the names.

"What you think, sheriff?" I asked the man, holding out my hands, in which I had small, folded pieces of paper with our names on it. "We still got a month of scavenging, it won't hurt anyone."

He stood still for a while, making me shift with uncertainty. And then he finally smiled lightly, reaching his hand for a small square.

"Yes!" Carl's fist pump the air with happiness.

"OK, rules. We don't say who we got, no swappies, and if you drew your own name, put it back." I said quickly, loud enough so everyone could hear me. Rick opened his paper and nodded, putting it in his pocket. I moved to the right standing next to Glenn.

"What if we don't know what to get that person?" He asked when he grabbed the paper, making me shrug.

"We have a fucking month, I'm sure you can figure something out." He opened the paper and smiled, hiding it quickly. I walked around the room, T-dog was the only one who had to put his pick back and chose another.

I finally stood in front of Carol and Daryl, avoiding eye contact with the latter. The woman reached first, opening the piece and nodding to herself a little. The man huffed a little, but in the end, he grabbed one of two left papers and read the name, scowling even more.

I looked at the name, making sure that my face is blank and not showing any reaction. When I saw it, I wanted to scream and kill someone at this same time. Just my fucking luck, isn't it?

"You look happy," Carol commented sarcastically. I rose my eyebrow at her, before replying in a dead tone.

"It's called poker face."

"No, I usually call it your dangerous face," Glenn added, and he moved slightly behind his girlfriend when I turned to look at him.

"My _what_?"

"It's when you try to hide your emotions very hard," Lori said from the couch, trying not to laugh.

"Or too hard," T-Dog spoke, looking out of the window, it was his time for watch. "And it's usually when you planning a murder, sometimes you mumble treats under your breath."

"I do not!" I cried out, scowling at the group, catching Ricks's eyes, who nodded to what they were saying.

"Yeah, you do."

"Pff." I don't have a face for my plotting, do I? Or maybe we know each other so well, that there is no hiding anymore. No matter how good you are. I mean, I could see every single change in mood on my companion's faces. Who's to say that they can't see it too, on mine. We were together for five months now, and recently I was more comfortable around them.

I shrugged and walked away to my room to plot my murder. I mean, what gift to get for my person.

**Day 172**

"He did what?" I asked, my voice low, disbelief evident in it. I looked between Maggie and Rick, making them both take a step back. We were on the run, in the town center, checking shops for food, of course, but also trying to clear it, so we can bring the rest of the group here. Maybe they can see something we can't, and that would help with Christmas presents.

"Um, Eli, you think you can turn down your kill face, just a bit," Maggie said, making me glare at her.

"No. Where's that idiot now?"

"I'm here." I could hear Glenn'svoice from behind, making me turn to see him and T-Dog, coming back from the store they were checking.

"Funny enough, I'm not talking about you, this time," I told him dryly, looking back at the sheriff.

"I told you he wanted to scout the mall." I clenched my jaw and took a few deep breaths.

"And I told you, all of you, that it's fucking dangerous, and certainly not a job for one person."

We stood around our cars, some supplies stored inside them already.

"Mall is huge, who knows how many walkers inside. And who's to say there aren't any people inside. We had a fucking plan."

"Enough." Rick finally rose his voice at me, I stood straighter, waiting for what he has to say. "He's not stupid. He won't go inside. He's got my walkie-talkie, so he can contact us in case something happens. Daryl is just looking outside, checking what we can do, how to get in."

Rick paused for a second, looking at me with a weird glimpse in his eyes. "Besides, if you wouldn't be acting like kids, you would be there with him."

I watched his back when he turned around, walking to the cars. I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down. He was right, Dixon made his choice when he stopped talking to me, so I shouldn't care. Of course, that was bulshit, because there was no way that I would stop worry and care for the hunter. Yeah, we might be pissed at each other, but he's still my fucking friend. And he was on foot, for fuck's sake.

"Eli?"

"Mags." I caught her eyes, and she motioned behind me, the were four walkers, marching in our direction. Or, they would, they were moving super slowly, dragging their feet behind them, trying to beat the snow. Oh, that's actually what I needed to kill something.

I pulled the string of my bow and aimed it at one of the geeks, sending the arrow at its head. Maggie strode forward, grabbing the neck of the walker on the left, stacking her cleaver in its brain. At the same time, I sent another arrow and waited for her to take down the last one.

She jogged back to me with a smile on her face, handing me arrows back.

"They bleed less, it's not a huge splash anymore," She said, grinning at me.

"That's good. It means we were right, they slowly freezing up."

We got into the car, with Glenn behind the wheel, and we drove back to the house.

I was helping Lori with laundry, there wasn't really a lot to do inside the house. I couldn't cook, so that was the only domestic choir I could help with. And at the moment I needed a distraction, it was already a few hours since we came back, Daryl didn't make contact with Rick, even though sheriff tried to reach him. He either turned it off or... no, his fucking Dixon, indestructible.

I soaked another shirt and started rubbing soap on the stubborn stain, feeling Lori's eyes on me.

"I can feel worry radiating from you, hun."

"Nothing to worry about," I told her, trying to smile. "He's on foot, of course, it will take him some time to come back." I put the shirt into clean water and then twisted it to get rid of excess water.

"What happen between you two?"

"I don't know what you talking about."

"Elena, you were practically inseparable."

I sighed heavily, putting the shirt on makeshift line in the living room. It was the warmest room, and we moved to the basement a few days ago when the first snow hit. But during the day we spend our day mainly here, not just because it was close to the bookshelf, but also to keep warm.

"He said something, and well, I told him off. Then we agreed that maybe we shouldn't speak to each other anymore." I told her, avoiding details and eye contact. To hell with this group and their noisiness.

"You should speak to him. You were good for each other."

"Lori. I like you, but shut up. It's not your business. We were not a couple, and we never would be."

"I'm just trying to help." She answered in a soft voice. I closed my eyes, sighing gently.

"I know. Just- look, I want Daryl safe, but it doesn't change anything. The words we said, well, it was a hell of an argument."

She chuckled, putting another pair of pants on the line. "Yeah, I can tell. Why won't you check with Rick? See if Daryl contacted him."

I watched her for a second, before dropping panties I was holding into the bucket, standing up slowly, stretching my joints. I walked over to the kitchen, noticing sheriff, T-Dog, and Glenn, bend over something on the counter, whispering to each other. I cleared my throat to get their attention. They turned around, trying to shield whatever was on the table.

"What's up, officer?" I said, raising my brows, the fuck were they hiding. I moved closer, making T-Dog shift closer to Glenn.

"Just planning our next ran."

"Huh, I thought the next one would be the mall."

"Well, yes, but they're still so many places we can check." Glenn was sweating, avoiding my eyes. Oh yes, mister, you're a shit liar. I moved my eyes to the sheriff. His face was blank, but he was clenching his jaw.

"So, there's nothing wrong. Like, at all?" I asked them watching their faces.

"Of course not. Anyway, what can we do for you, Agent James?

"Hm, I wanted to know how long we going to wait until we going after Dixon, but now I am more interested in what you're hiding."

Rick looked at T, who folded his arms across the chest and then at Glenn, who got red and was shifting from one leg to the other. The sheriff sighed heavily, obviously realizing that his accomplices aren't very good at lying game.

"Fine, come here." he moved, making space around the counter, showing me the map. It showed Palmetto, but they folded in a way that the mall was in the center of the paper. I glared at Rick, smacking my lips.

"He's alive?" My heart started racing, and breathing became harder, while I waited for an answer.

"Yes. He's just- stuck." Rick replied softly, putting an arm on my shoulder.

"Stuck. Fucking idiot got stuck." I nodded to myself, boiling inside. The only reason he could get stuck and not make Rick panic would be because of walkers, not other people. Otherwise, we'd be already marching there.

"He's in one of the shops, but he's surrounded, and they keep busting from the stores to get to him."

"I see."

"Girl, you got that face again," T-Dog stated, stepping away from me and making me nod again. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down, but so far, it wasn't helping.

"Did he said anything else?"

"No."

"Well, that's not a lot of information. Give me the radio." I stretched my arm and looked at Rick intently, palm up, waiting for him to hand it over.

"Just don't start an argument." I rolled my eyes and grabbed walkie-talkie, pressing the button to speak to the idiot.

"I heard you're in deep shit, Dixon," I said, not trying to hide my amusement. Behind me, T and Rick sighed in unison, and Glenn hid his face in hands. I waited a few moments before his gruff voice came through.

_"Funny."_

"How did you get into the mall?"

 _"Side door, fire exit, closed behind me."_ Great, so potentially the main doors are still untouched, trapping the walkers inside.

"Any other entrances that were open?"

 _"No, that's why I picked the side one."_ Still got yourself trapped, though, didn't you? I sighed and hold the fingers to my forehead, it was not the time to get angry at him.

"Where are you?"

_"Eastside, if you look from the road."_

"Are you safe where you are?" I asked the most crucial question, the one I was scared to hear the answer to.

_"For now."_

"OK, can you hold on for another thirty minutes?"

 _"Yeah."_ I couldn't see his face, and his voice usually didn't tell me enough, I couldn't know if he was lying, or not. Mind you, he's not that type of person, usually being honest, but if he's in deep shit, he would probably try to hide it.

"Good," I said, and after a moment of thinking, I turned away from the men, and lowered my voice. "Daryl, stay safe, please."

 _"Always, El."_ The radio crackled, his voice a bit softer this time. Alrighty, not the time for sentiments.

"We need a distraction like we did in Peachtree. Glenn thinks of the best route out of the town." I told them, looking at Rick to see if he was alright with it.

"We already did that." He answered, beaming me towards the map. "Here, we put a CD on, blast the sound on, and go this way."

"OK, and the rest of us gets inside when they cleared out?"

"Yes. It's not the way we planned it. And we still didn't check gun shop in here, so I don't know how much ammo we can spare."

"It's fucking Daryl, we can spare all of it as far as I care." I hissed at him, my anger and worry finally taking over.

"Hey, calm down. We need to think about the bigger picture. That mall is small, just one floor. Once we drive them away, it shouldn't be too hard to get rid of the rest."

I took a deep breath, nodding, stressing out won't help, it'll just make me more reckless, and potentially endanger others.

"Hershel will drive the car, and then circle back to the house. Carol knows what to do here. They stay in the basement until we come back or contact them. We will scout around to see how many entrances there are, we need them all open, make it easier for walkers to get out." Rick said to me, and the other men didn't look surprised, they already knew that. I chuckled dryly at that.

"Were you even going to tell me what's happening?" I asked him, making him smile at me sadly.

"Yeah, but we wanted to have a plan first."

"Cool. Great."

"In there, first we need to open the doors, and then hide until they have gone. Then we will split, get rid of the ones that linger on. Open the shops one by one. Clear them."

I nodded and moved to go grab my weapons.

"Elena." Rick said quietly, making my stop in my tracks. "And don't do anything stupid."

Hershel was ready when we opened three doors, running to hide in the cars, while walkers spilled through them. I jumped into one of the vehicles we prepped before, making sure that I can't be seen. I looked like I was ready for a war, all my knives, and a bow, of course. My Smith&Wesson, and Glock, both with suppressors, were secured in my belt. I was thinking about taking my MP5, but Rick quickly stopped me, mumbling something about overkill. Still, I think he was afraid I'd do something to Daryl.

It took about five minutes for Hershel to move out, he couldn't wait any longer; otherwise, he would be blocked. I heard Rick whistle, and I got out of the car, putting the arrow in the notch, ready to fire. Carl and I were appointed as a long-range, shooting as many we could before swapping to melee. One, because of my arrows but also because the most amount of ammo to spare was for our handguns.

The young Grimes had a silencer as well, something Rick made for him, I don't even know from what. It looked a bit like a tube, and certainly wasn't something customarily approved, but it worked, so who cares.

We killed all dozen walkers, stuck around the entrance, and Rick beamed us all together. That was the time we're going to split up.

"Glenn, Maggie, you take back entrance, the one Daryl came through. Elena, T-Dog, you're gonna take the east one, you gonna be the closest to him, clear the path, so he can get out. Carl and I will take the front. We gonna meet up in here." Rick ordered and then pointed at the spot on the map of a mall, displayed close to the entrance. We all moved out, I took the point, T behind me with his fire poker in front of him, ready to strike down any walkers. The entrance itself was pretty empty, two stowaways, which we took down quickly. We made sure to close the door behind us, the light was dimmed in here, only a few windows around. But when we silently rounded the corner, I pushed T back, getting close to the wall.

I put my finger to my lips, showing him to be quiet, and then I peeked to see how many exactly, cause it looked like fucking a lot. I moved along the wall and stuck my head out, there were at least two dozen of walkers left, banging on the metal shatter and bars of the shop on the left, nearly at the end of the corridor. Well, I guess we found Dixon. Why the fuck he even got inside in the first place, he's smarter than that.

I pulled back, swinging the bow over my chest, so it layed safely on my back. I took out both of my guns and switched the safeties off.

"About two dozens," I whispered to T-Dog, I felt him go stiff next to me, not that I could blame him, it's fucking a lot. I gave him Wesson, and he took it, placing his poker gently on the ground. I hold up three fingers and started to count down. At one, we both moved into the corridor and started shooting at the walkers. It took maybe a minute, but the adrenaline pumping in my veins made it feel like hours. When the last one hit the ground, just inches from us, I released a loud sigh.

T put the safety back on and handed me back the gun, but I told him to keep it. He took it and turned back for his poker. I didn't put mine away but grabbed the hunting knife in the other hand, just in case one of the walkers on the ground wasn't completely dead.

With T-Dog's help, we moved the bodies that blocked the shatter, and I knocked on it three times while the man was looking out in another direction, making sure that there are no more geeks. We waited for a few minutes, without an answer. I stepped back and looked at the name of the store for the first time. The fuck he was doing in there? I grabbed the radio from the back of my pants and clicked it on.

"Dixon, I assume this bunch of walkers, were here for you. They're gone, so move your ass, and open that fucking shutter."

"You're so nice to him," T commented, what's with all the sarcasm recently?

"I know, I'm lovely, right?" I watched the windows of the store, trying to see if he's coming, it took another few moments until I finally saw a movement, somewhere at the back. The glass was dirty and dusty, and it was hard to confirm who it was. So I kept my gun up when the person approached the shutter and pulled it up.

"Ya gonna shoot me, woman?" He was dirty and covered in blood and guts. He looked tired, the bags under his eyes seemed darker than usual. He looked around at all the geeks lying on the ground, and he scrunched his brows.

"Be nicer to your rescue party, Dixon," I answered, but lowered the gun, putting the safety on. "The fuck you were doing in here anyway?"

"Elena, not the time." T-Dog interrupted, and I glared at him. "You bit, man?"

"Nah. I'm good."

"Fine, but I'm not done with you, you idiot." I pointed my finger at Daryl, making him scowl. "OK, let's move to the meeting point, boys."

I walked around the black man, retaking the point, switching back to the bow. It seemed like most of the walkers either left after Hershel or were the ones that surrounded the store. When we got where Rick wanted to meet up, the rest of the group already waited for us.

"All clear?" The sheriff asked, and I nodded.

"Yeah, there were still few waiting for Dixon, though."

"Few?" T-Dog scoffed at that, and I efficiently ignored him.

"What about you?"

"Just couple, it seems like you had the most of them," Maggie answered, looking between Daryl and me.

"Alright, it's gonna be dark soon. We gonna put chains on the doors, so no more can come inside, and we'll pick up tomorrow morning." Rick ordered, handing me one of the chains with a lock, and I turned around, back to where we came from.

I could hear quiet, even footsteps behind me, and I rolled my eyes at that. I really hoped it would be T, but I knew better. I didn't stop or turned until we came to the door. I shifted slightly, enough to see his frame.

"I don't need a babysitter," I told him, and he blushed for a second.

"Ya shouldn't go off by yurself," Daryl replied lowly, making me scowl.

"Daryl, I'm tired. I didn't plan on rescuing your ass this morning when I woke up. And I have a watch tonight, so just shut up."

"Ya, so stubborn, woman." He growled, coming closer, making my body go stiff. We weren't that close in weeks, and I missed him. But he was right, I was proud and stubborn, and yes, I wasn't the type of person to apologize, especially for something that's not my fault.

"Alrighty. Got something to say, go ahead."

He looked away for a moment, biting his bottom lip before he searched for my eyes—his bright blue locking with my grey ones.

"Ya were right." I cocked my head at that but didn't say anything, waiting for him to continue. "Um, kid deserves to be kid, sometimes."

"Great. Did you tell him that?"

"Yeah. Day after." I snorted, shaking my head. So he was OK with apologizing to Carl, straight away, but he waited two fucking weeks to do this same to me.

"I see." I turned around and pushed the door, waiting for Dixon to come out. When he did, I shut it and looked around for something to attach the chain to.

"Here, let me." He gently took it from me, using a drainpipe, connecting it with a door handle, and locking the padlock on the ends. There wasn't anything else, so I moved back to the cars when he spun me around, pulling me for a hug.

I tensed under his touch. Even with so many layers on, I could sense how warm he was, and suddenly I remembered how he makes me feel, in that dark place, inside me. I breathed in his scent, still the same.

"I missed ya."

"Then why did you wait so long?" I whispered, hiding my face in his chest, circling my arms around his waist.

"I guess I'm also stubborn."

I chuckled lightly. "Yeah, you are."

"But today- it was fuckin' close call, El. And all I could think of was how we left things."

"Oh, you thought of me while facing death," I smirked, even if he couldn't see it. Daryl moved his hand up, bringing it to my hair, pushing my head closer to him.

"Shut up, woman."

"I hate to butt in, cause it's cute as hell," Daryl groaned in my ear and quickly let me go, his face going red, all the way to his ears. Maggie stood, a few yards away, a massive grin on her face and knowing look in her eyes. "Rick says we need to move."

"Right, let's go," I answered, trying to ignore the young woman's smug face, Dixon was already on the move, pushing past Maggie, his head down.

"So." She wiggled her eyebrows, and grabbed my arm, interlocking it with hers.

"So, you are going to shut up, or I'm going to kick you."

I don't think she believed me, considering that she just laughed and went on how she can't wait to tell the rest.


	29. Chapter 29

**Day 173**

I was staring at Maggie, not sure if I understood her correctly. We were just talking about Christmas gifts and Glenn's birthday that are just a few days before. The idea was to have a dinner for him, but only two of them. Something romantic, or as romantic as it can be with a house full of people. She even had a gift for him already, something she got just moments ago from clothes boutique.

Since early this morning, we were in the mall, clearing the shops that were still locked, killing the remaining walkers. And now, with the entrances locked, we were roaming freely, getting what we needed and wanted. First, we cleared the food stores, all two of them, restoring our supplies.

But now, somehow, I found myself in the same store Daryl was trapped yesterday, fucking jewelry shop.

"I just want to be ready," The woman added, making me slowly nod my head.

"No, I think I get it. I just don't understand why I'm here." I told her, looking around.

"Well, you're my friend," She stated, crossing her arms, smirking at me. "And you also know how to open those without breaking the glass." She pointed at displays with rings and earrings. Two of them were already smashed, maybe walkers, or some previous people who got here, before everyone turned.

"Aha. So you need me, only for this?" I took out my burglar set, waving it at her face.

"Please, I also want you to help me pick."

I sighed heavily and got to work, slowly breaking in into the glass displays, giving access to all jewelry. When Maggie started going through them, I looked around at shiny objects. Something on the rack next to the door caught my attention. There were dozens of keyrings, with various shapes and colors. But the one that I was staring at was silver, I think, no gems on it, beautiful angel wings, spread in full. I took it off and hid it in my pocket, I guess my gift searching was over.

"Eli, come on." Maggie beamed me over, I strolled towards her, she had few velvet trays out, searching for one that she liked.

"Alrighty, what we're looking for. What kind of metal you want?" I asked her, looking at different rings.

"I dunno."

"That's not very helpful."

The brown-haired woman snorted at that, but she knew I was right.

"Look, Mags. It doesn't matter how it'd look like. It's the thought and gesture that counts."

"I know, I just never imagined myself doing that, you know?"

"I get it." I looked down and touched a few bands, one of them catching my eye. I brought it up, I never was big for shinny stuff, impractical in my line of work. But it was pretty, I guess. It was simple, flat, and quite wide. Chrome surface in the middle and smooth on the edges, the tag told me it was made of white gold.

"No, I don't like that one," Maggie commented, making me flinch a little. I almost forgot that she was here. I hummed in reply; she was already leaning over another tray, so she didn't notice me stashing the band into the pocket.

It took her another twenty minutes to pick up, a gold round ring with a small stone in the middle, almost flattened into the metal.

**Day 184**

I was so fucking bored. In the past months, we always had something to do. At the quarry, we were patrolling and hunting, washing clothes. At the farm, first was the search for Sophia, later taking care of the farm, fortifying it. And then the herd came, destroying it all. Now we sat on the mattresses, in cold basements, eating dinner, with nothing to do.

We collected some thick branches for the past few days, sharpened them, and put them around the house, like pikes, so walkers wouldn't march straight through the fence. We had lots of food, and not many places left to scavenge. Walkers were scarce, moving at half of their average speed, some buried under the snow, so it was less dangerous.

We barricaded the back doors and covered the windows with newspapers, planks, and binbags. The only entry point now was the front door, and we always had someone standing watch, mainly during the night.

But I was still bored, I missed hunting with Daryl, trekking through the forest's floor, listening for birds, signs of life. I already read like twenty books, and wasn't sure what to start on next. The others, especially Lori and Carol, enjoyed this quiet time, without running and planning if we have enough food for tomorrow. And I get it, of course. But I was never a person who could sit; still, my life used to be fast-paced, and now, I just didn't know what to do with myself.

Of course, we were still planning. We could stay here, but we did have an emergency meet up point, just outside the town, in case something happens. Rick had planned were to go if we'd have to abandon this house, and where to go scavenge once winter is over.

People around me were already going to sleep; only other members still awake were Rick and Daryl, talking something over in hushed voices. T-Dog was on the watch, for the next three hours. I curled myself tighter in a blanket, trying to control shivering. It was warmer down here than upstairs but still not enough. Our duvets were distributed between Lori, Carl, Beth, and Hershel. Others had multiple blankets, but I gave my spare one to Carol, a few days ago when I noticed that she's shaking during the night.

I closed my eyes, trying to think of something else, hoping that sleep will take over me soon.

"Ya gonna wake up everyone with yur shakin'," Daryl's whisper next to my ear, made me squeal a little. Damn, this man is moving like a panther, one day he will give me a heart attack. I felt the weight of something on top of me, and I opened my eyes. In dim candlelight, I saw that it's orange.

"I don't need your ugly poncho," I told him, looking over my shoulder, trying to shrug it off. He was half-laying, half-sitting next to my mattress, he was dressed warmly, but he didn't have any covers.

"Just shut up, 'nd go to sleep."

"You going to be cold, Daryl."

"Nah, I'm fine."

I sighed heavily and lifted up the covers, looking at him intently. He furrowed his brows like he didn't understand what I mean.

"Just fucking come here, Dixon." He moved slowly, carefully laying next to me on the mattress, making sure that he doesn't touch me. My back was turned to him, but even with space left between us, I felt warmer. I sighed again, this time with content, closing my eyes.

**Day 189**

I woke up on this particular morning to a pleasant surprise. Though, I doubt it will stay like that for a long time. Since that night, nearly a week ago, Daryl was sleeping next to me, he never touched me, we just shared a blanket, to keep warm. Usually, he'd woke up before anyone else and escaped, so no one would see us together, but with how the group was looking at us, especially me, I suspected that they knew. Noisey buggers.

But this morning was different, oh yes. There was a warm hand, sneaked under my shirt, touching the sensitive skin on my stomach. My back was flushed against Daryl's chest, his face was buried in my hair, breath caressing my neck.

Oh, boy. I couldn't move; I mean, I didn't want to. I was warm and felt safe. I am an independent person, was since I reached adulthood, not ever, a man made me feel like that by merely holding me. I knew that this, ruff, scruffy mountain redneck made me feel like nothing wrong could happen to me.

But, if he wakes up now, and realizes that I am not asleep, we would take a huge step back. He would shut down, ashamed to be found in that position. I get it, I know why, he doesn't know how to deal with such closeness.

Daryl stopped snoring, and I shut my eyes, making sure to try to breathe evenly, not moving an inch of my body. He made some noise, something between a growl and moan. His hand under my shirt moved gently, fingers gently rubbing my scars. It took everything to not flinch, that gesture almost made me cry, it wasn't sexual, just genuine care. He knew what they were, how I got them, what I've been through.

I started to feel something else, pressing to my thigh, making me take a sharp breath, breaking the peace and image of me being asleep. Daryl froze all his movements, I could feel that he was lost, not knowing what I'd do, and what he should do. I swallowed hard and covered his hand with mine.

"It's OK," I whispered. "It's morning, your body's natural reaction. And that." I squeezed his hand gently through the fabric of the shirt. "It's calming."

"Ya were crying, in yur sleep." He moved, so he wasn't touching my back anymore, but he kept his hand on my stomach.

I sneaked my hand in, to hold his properly, and slowly turned around to face him. He had hair in his eyes, face flushed, and he was avoiding my eyes.

"Hey," I spoke softly and smiled at him when he finally met my eyes. He was chewing on his bottom lip, and I could feel him overthink things. "We are friends, I don't mind hugging. I know that you aren't a fan. But we don't do anything bad or wrong."

He looked so unsure of himself, like a small child, not aware of how to act in certain situations. I let his hands go, just in case he feels the need to run or put more distance between us. I propped my head on my arm, and my smile grew wider.

"Do you want to sleep more?" I asked him, knowing that he had a middle shift, that one was always a bitch.

"Nah."

"OK, what's on today's agenda then?"

"Dunno."

Alrighty, changing the subject didn't relax him, but he was still here, so I'll take it as a small victory.

"You want to go for a run? There are still places we didn't check," I told him, I felt like we both could do with getting away from the house, he was just like me, didn't like to stay in one place.

"Sure." He grunted, bitting on his thumb, watching my every movement.

"Great, I'll get changed, can you make me a coffee?" Oh, another perk of the generator, we could heat up water now, so I could have my usual dose of caffeine. I stood up silently, going through my bag and grabbing clothes for today, making my way to the bathroom.

When I walked upstairs, careful to not wake up others, fully clothed I could smell breakfast and coffee in the air. Rick greeted me by his post next to the window; he was on watch now. Daryl sat by the counter, and Carol was working on some oatmeal, from what she did, I could tell she was awake for a while. Thinking about it, I haven't seen her in the basement, which would mean, she definitely saw the hunter and me. I glanced at the man, he was eating his food, a mug with warm liquid in front of him, head down.

The gray-haired woman turned around and sent me a huge smile, confirming my suspicions. I took a seat next to Daryl, and he pushed the mug to me.

"Thanks."

"Sleep well?" Carol asked innocently.

"Yes, very, thank you. How about you?" I took a sip, my eyes not leaving hers.

"Oh, you know. It could be cozier." I heard Daryl choke on his oatmeal, and I patted his back.

"Ignore her. She's messing with us." I told him, making him grunt.

"Alright, alright, I'll stop. You two are lucky it was me. Imagine if Maggie or Glenn would wake up first."

"I'm gonna have a smoke," Daryl said in a low voice, swinging on his stool and leaving the room. Seconds later, we could hear front door closing, indicating that the hunter indeed left the house.

"You shouldn't give him shit," I scowled Carol, looking at her from my coffee mug. She shrugged and passed me a bowl of food.

When I was finished, I moved to where Rick was sitting next to the door.

"Hello, Officer."

"You in a good mood this morning." He looked me over.

"Well, I had coffee, woke up rested, and tomorrow's Christmas, so, yeah."

"I heard that you going on a run with Daryl."

"If it's alright with you, Rick."

"Yeah, just tell me where you going and take walkie-talkie with you."

It was getting dark when we were coming back. Our pick-up full of stuff for baby, we scored a gold mine in one of the houses, baby clothes, some formula, pacifiers.

"Lori will be happy," I spoke, breaking the silence. I cracked the window open a little, and took two cigarettes out, sparking them and handing one to Daryl.

"Hmm." That was the only answer from the hunter, when he took the stick from me, inhaling deeply.

"I'd ask if you're excited for tomorrow, but I know the answer," I told him, smirking in his direction, Dixon glared at me for a second before looking back at the road.

"I'll live."

"I know. Look, just try to enjoy it. We don't know how much longer we all have."

"I don't plan on dying, princess."

"Of course not, Big Boy. Just try not to be too grumpy, please. You know it means a lot to the group."

"Fine, whatever."

I looked out the window, enjoying my cigarette, watching the trees, while we were driving. We were happy and safe, for now. Tomorrow we'll have a lovely evening, something bright, something to remember. That was life now, just living in the present because we never know when our last day would be.

We could've been taken down by walkers, surprised by other people. You never know in this world anymore. But here, in the car with Daryl, I couldn't feel more alive.

I noticed that we got to the house, and I was about to jump out to open the gate when Dixon's hand landed on my shoulder.

"El." His voice was husky, and when I glanced at him, he had a weird look on his face.

"What's wrong? Everything looks fine."

"Nah, all good. I just, um." He shifted in his seat. He seemed to be uncomfortable, and that made me nervous. Did I do something stupid today that I was not aware of?

"Is it about this morning? Because I told you--"

"Stop." He rose his hand, closing his eyes for a moment before taking a big breath. Daryl reached into his pocket, and seconds later, something was dangling from his fingers, just in front of my eyes.

It was, well, beautiful. Silver chain, locket from this same metal, oval with small diamonds all the way on the edges. In the middle, there was an engraved eternity sign.

I looked Daryl in the eyes, I could see how unsure of himself he was, at that moment, his face was like an open book. His eyes were scanning my face, bottom lip between his teeth, worry clear as day.

I smiled widely, slowly reaching out for it, clearing my throat.

"Is that for me?" I asked him lowly, taking it, running my fingers over the gems, and the sign.

"Open it." His voice was husky, more than usual, telling me just how nervous he was. Confused, I pried the locket open, revealing something folded inside it. I took it, my hands shaking slightly. A soft sob escaped my lips, and my eyes immediately filled with tears when I recognized that it was a print off from one of my sonograms. The one I had shortly before she died.

I looked at him, not knowing what to say or do.

"That way, ya can carry her with ya," He said.

I gently folded the picture and put it back inside the locket. I handed it back to Daryl, something like pain crossing his face. I shifted in my spot, turning my back to him, and gathered my hair.

"Put it on, please," I told him softly, and after a moment, I could feel his hands reaching around me, cold metal touching the space between my breast. His fingers run over the nape of my neck, sending shivers down my spine. My heart was speeding now like crazy, not just because he was right behind me, but also because he was so thoughtful. Daryl put his hands on my shoulders when he was done, but they dropped when I turned back to face him.

"What's it about?" I asked him in croaked voice, wiping the tears that fell down my cheeks.

"Um, happy birthday." Breath hitched in my throat, and I launched at him, wrapping my arms around his neck, squeezing the shit out of him.

"You remembered."

"Yeah."

"And you got me a gift."

"Yeah."

"Is that's why you were stuck in the mall?"

"Um, yeah."

I leaned back a little, looking into his eyes, wetting my lips. "It's beautiful, thank you, Daryl." I put my hand on his cheek, making his eyes go wide. He stayed frozen in the spot when I kissed his other cheek, loving the feeling of his scruff under my lips. The hunter swallowed harshly and clear his throat, pulling away.

"Good, now move yur ass and open the gate, woman," He told me when I sat back. The hunter looked like a tomato, even his ears in a deep shade of red. I laughed at his remark, and got out of the car, jogging to the gate and quickly unlocking it.

**Day 190**

I reached into my backpack, pulling out a small wrapped present, right before I walked upstairs. Opening the secret door, I walked into the living room, where several members of the group already sat on the couches.

"Merry Christmas!" Carl yelled, jumping in his spot next to his mother. Lori, according to our estimations, was nearly five months pregnant, and it started showing. Her breasts were swollen, and there was a small bump, pressing onto her shirt. Looking at her hurt a little, a reminder of what I lost. But it wasn't her or the baby's fault, so I tried to keep my emotions in check.

"Merry Christmas to you," I answered, smiling widely. We were still missing Glenn, Maggie, T-Dog, and Beth, so I decided to make myself some coffee.

"Here you go." Carol pressed warm mug into my hands as soon as I stepped in the kitchen, making me raise eyebrows at her.

"Morning, what's that for?"

"'Cause you're a bitch without it." She chuckled under her breath, and I pressed a hand to my chest.

"Words hurt, Carol." I looked around, noticing Hershel next to the door, shotgun in his hand. "Morning, where are Rick and Daryl?"

"They checking fence." The older man replied, smiling gently in my direction. "They don't want any surprises today."

"I bet it was mainly because Dixon wanted to avoid Christmas wishes," I smirked at a grey-haired woman, stepping next to her.

"Probably," She snorted and started to mix something in a big saucepan. I leaned forward, trying to see what it was, but she swatted me away.

"Pff just wanted to help."

"Elena, I wouldn't want your help with cooking, even if our life depended on it."

"You could teach me."

"I tried, remember?" She and Lori gave me a basic lesson, back at the library, which turned into a disaster. I scrunched my face at that memory.

"Oh, I do. That's why I want you to slowly step away and leave cooking to me." I scoffed, grabbing my mug, and moving back to the living room.

"Are you excited, kiddo?" I asked Carl, plunging myself onto the other sofa and spreading my legs. Lori was reading some adventure book, and the boy had some comic books on his lap.

"Sure, I am. I just wish that everyone was here already, so we could open presents."

"You know, we always opened presents on Christmas Eve," I told him, and he shifted in his spot, even the woman next to him put away the book, listening.

"Why? That's weird."

I laughed at Carl's comment and continued. "Well, my mother was Polish, and in there they celebrate Christmas a day earlier. We usually listened to carols through the day, made the last-minute preparations." I said, looking away, remembering when I was his age, how impatient I was for gifts and dinner. "And we didn't open presents until after dinner. We always waited for the first star to appear in the sky, then we would eat. Twelve different dishes, no meat. Only after that, I was allowed to see the presents."

"So, what were you doing on Christmas Day?" Lori asked softly. I noticed that Carol sat down on one of the chairs while I was telling the story.

"See, that was mainly for my mum. So she could still relate to her roots. But then I still had my grandparents, on dad's side, and his sister. We would all go visit them, and it was like celebrating twice." I finished with a smile.

"Was it always like that?" Carol asked me from her spot.

"No, that was mainly when I was a kid. Then, I was in college, my parents moved away, life happened, you know."

"Merry Christmas!" I looked over to the bookshelves, the rest of the group, just came in, finally waking up.

"Finally," Carl exclaimed.

"Go, eat something, and we can start." Carol really was like a hen mother to us. I think she needed a purpose, something besides surviving, and she was good at taking care of others.

After we had something to eat, we all sat down in the living room. A small pile of weirdly wrapped gifts was stacked up on the coffee table. Rick and Daryl came back, not long ago, stating that everything looked good, they didn't see any walkers nearby.

Carl stood in the middle of the room, excited, rocking slightly on his heels. His sheriff's hat sat proudly on his head, the kid didn't go anywhere without it. I sat squished between T-Dog and Carol, the other sofa occupied by Lori and Hershel. The rest took remaining chairs.

We appointed young Grimes as our Santa, making him in charge of distributing gifts. After all, it was his idea.

"Let's start!" He said and reached for the first package. The boy squinted his eyes, trying to read the name. "For you, Glenn."

The Asian man took the soft gift and ripped the paper; seconds later, he had a new baseball hat on his head, grinning at his girlfriend. "Thanks, whoever it's from."

"Shh, that's the best part. That we don't know." I told him, watching Carl giving present to Carol, who got a knife. I was training with her, and she was more confident in killing walkers. It was time she got a proper weapon. The blade wasn't too big, and the handle had finger holes, so she wouldn't lose a grip. Nice choice.

Hershel received a beautiful watch, with fresh batteries. We couldn't be sure if it showed the correct time, considering that recently we relayed on the sun only, but it was still a nice gesture.

"Elena, that's for you." Carl handed me a package, I could tell it was a box, and when I shook it gently, something rattled inside. Shrugging, I quickly got rid of the wrapping and lifted the top of the old shoebox. Shrieking, I promptly closed it.

"What the actual fuck!" Next to me, T was nearly dying from laughter, and I turned to him. "Is it you?"

"Well, you said you've missed it."

"What's in there?" Carl asked, his face full of confusion. I shook my head and couldn't find the right words to tell him a lie. Carol reached out and peeked at what was inside.

"Ah, yeah. You don't wanna know, Carl."

"I do." Maggie came closer, and the rest of the people looked at our sofa with interest.

"Some time ago, Elena mentioned--" T-dog started, but I interrupted him.

"Don't you dare!"

"--That she misses her vibrator."

"T!" I hid my blushing face in my hands, trying to block the laughs that erupted in the rooms.

"So I got her a new one. Got batteries and all."

"Ain't funny when yur embarrassed, one, innit?" I heard Daryl's low voice, and I just grunted in reply.

"What's a vibrator?" Carl asked suddenly, stopping the giggles. I lifted my head, watching how no one could find words.

"You'll know when you're older. Keep going, Carl," Rick told him finally, gesturing for the remaining pile of gifts.

The boy scrunched his face, not entirely happy with that, but nonetheless, he grabbed another present and passed it to Beth. It was a notebook, a diary if you wish. Lori got a pair of cute, simple earrings, which she quickly put on.

The next package was bigger than the others, and Carl was proudly carrying it to the sheriff, breaking the rule.

"It's from me, dad." Rick looked down at his son and slowly opened it, reviling two sets of walkie-talkies. Wow, the kid had a vision. It was an excellent gift for a group leader, something useful, even I felt proud of him. Rick pulled him for a hug, and they stayed like that for a moment. I noticed a shadow on Lori's face. It was no secret that she didn't really speak to her husband, and I think she missed him.

"Thank you, Carl. It's great, it will help us a lot." The boy was beaming and jumped into the next gifts.

"That's for T-Dog." It was a silver cross, the Black man caressed it for a moment before clasping it on, around his neck. I knew it reminded him of days before the apocalypse and perhaps of a man he was before.

Carl checked the last three presents, giving a small squared package to Maggie. She looked at it, turning it in her hand a few times, and before opening it. It was pretty heart necklace, she cried out happily, covering her mouth with a hand, and looked over at Glenn. The man sat down, watching his girlfriend's reaction. She threw herself at him, hugging him tightly, and insisting on him putting it on.

I caught Daryl's eyes, smiling a little bit, and touching spot under my shirt, where my own locket was hidden. I saw the corner of his mouth lift slightly, before Carl stood in front of him, handing him the gift. That broke the spell, and the hunter reached for it, thanking the boy.

I sat down straight, knowing it's from me, I was watching Daryl's face when he opened it and brought it up, to look at it better.

"That's cool!" Carl stated, still next to Dixon. "You can put it on your bike keys."

"Um, thanks," Daryl mumbled, putting it away into his pocket.

"Time for yours, kiddo," I said, and the boy reached out for his gift. It was rectangular, wrapped messily in a newspaper. Carl ripped it open, revealing a big stack of comics.

"Oh, wow! That's awesome." The boy flipped through the titles quickly. "They all Spiderman! It's my favorite!" He immediately sat down on the carpet and started organizing them by issue.

It was a good day; we chatted for a while after the gifts, people trying to figure out who was their Secret Santa. We had a lovely dinner with the rest of the wine, and Daryl even shared his whiskey with T-Dog and me.

At some point, we went outside and tried to be quiet, building some snowmen, and enjoying ourselves.

I was lying down on the mattress, Rick taking the first night shift, Dixon was already next to me. This time I was facing him, leaving some space between us. I accepted the fact that he was comfortable with holding me only when he was fast asleep. It was better than nothing, I guess.

But if I'd know back then, that it was the last peaceful night in a long, long time, I would snuggle the hell out of him.


	30. Chapter 30

**Day 191**

Daryl, T-Dog, and I were walking through the woods. It was our turn to get water, soft snow under our feet made crunching noises, it was exceptionally cold today. I could see my breath, creating a small fog. We had five canisters to replenish our supply, and T was hanging on to the pickaxe we were going to use to break through the ice.

We had warm jackets on, and I put an extra pair of socks this morning, to protect my feet. When we reached the clearing, T-Dog immediately got to break the thick layer of ice covering the lake.

"Let's try not to get wet, guys," I told them, watching from a safe distance.

"You're not very helpful." The black man commented, dipping one of the canisters into the water.

"I'm not going anywhere near that. Last time scared me for a lifetime, thank you very much."

"Hey, ya alright, now," Daryl said softly, taking the full bottle from T's grasp and passing him another one.

"Yeah, and I have you to protect me, Big Boy." I smirked at him, making him roll his eyes.

"Hey, what about me?"

"Oh, T, don't get jealous, now. It doesn't suit you." I commented, winking at him.

When they filled all the containers, we moved back towards the house. It was a beautiful day, regardless of how cold it was. We were nearly back at home when Daryl stopped, making me walk into his back.

"Shh." He gently placed the bottles in the snow and took a crossbow off his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" I whispered, watching our surroundings, for whatever triggered the hunter. He pointed at the ground, and I finally noticed the footprints. Four different ones spread widely, but they all pointed towards the house. It wasn't us, and yesterday snowed heavily, so they had to be fresh.

"T, leave the water," I ordered quietly, taking my gun out of the holster. "This way."

I led the men between the trees, hoping they would hide us, circling the property towards the front.

"Here," Dixon waved at the ground, showing us another two sets on prints. Fuck. I swallowed hard, trying to think quickly how to do it.

"What's happening?" T-Dog asked Daryl and me, making us look at each other with grim expressions.

"Six people. Walked towards the house." The hunter answered, crouching, and watching the main entrance.

"I can't see any extra cars," I stated, looking for any movements from the inside. Oh, how I wished to have my sniper with me now.

"What ya thinkin'?" Our vehicles were still here, we didn't know if our people were hurt or not. If they had enough time to hide. Doors where closed, and footprints led to the property, but not out of it.

"Who was on watch?" My heart rate sped up, thinking about solutions.

"I think Maggie," T answered, worry evident on his face. I nodded and took a deep breath. OK. It was time to act; every extra second we spent out here, we risked our group's lives. I took out my bow and quiver from my back and gave it to T-Dog.

"Lose it, brake it, I'll make you pay," I told him lowly, making him look at me in confusion. Next, I passed him my Glock, leaving me only with my hunter knife and throwing knives, hidden under my jacket.

"El," Daryl grunted under his nose, making me look at him.

"So, plan. Six people, potentially holding at least Maggie. Daryl, you have your bow and your gun; T, you got my gun. Once I'm inside, give me ten minutes. If I'm not out, come in."

"El!" I grabbed Daryl's hand and squeezed it tightly.

"Do the footprints looked like men's?" I asked him gently, he furrowed his brows and then nodded sharply. "If you go, and they not friendly, they'll kill you probably straight away. But I am a woman. I'm more valuable. They can use me."

With every word, his jaw grew tenser, as he realized what I mean.

"I'll be fine. Ten minutes, and then I expect you to fucking save me, Dixon."

I unzipped my jacket, and pulled out two knives, hiding them in my boots. Not the most comfortable solution. I reached up, pulling on my ponytail, making my hair spill down my shoulders. I grabbed one of the bottles and quickly marched up to the gate.

Calming my breathing, remembering my training, I put a natural expression on my face. When I reached the fence, I noticed that padlock was busted, so that's how those people got in. I pushed the gate open, making sure to make noise. My first priority was to find out if they hold any of my people.

"Mags, I'm back, open the door, it's fucking freezing," I spoke loudly, making my way to the door. Before I reached it, they swang open, revealing three men. They were dirty, their hair shaggy, and full of dried mud. Skinny, I'd say, and they had only blunt weapons, as far as I could see. No guns. That's good.

I dropped the water to the ground, gasping, bringing my hunter knife up, pretending to be scared.

"What you doing in my house?" I yelled at them, and one of them stepped forward, raising his hands.

"We don't want any trouble, lady. We just looking for a place to stay." His voice was surprisingly high for a man, making me cringe internally.

"What did you do with my friend?"

"There was no one here. That's why we thought it's abandoned."

"I told you it's not, looked too fresh," Added one of the shorter guys; he was probably just a few inches taller than me.

"Look, I get it. You want to stay great. Just let me grab my stuff, and you can stay. I don't want any trouble." I pushed as much fear into my voice as I could, watching the men exchange glances.

"Why don't you come in. My name's Alan. We won't hurt you. We ain't that kind of guys." I swallowed thickly, making sure it shows and nodded. Putting my knife away, I slowly made my way to the house.

"I'm Michelle, my bedroom is upstairs," I told him, playing with my fingers.

"And what of your friend?"

"She must've run when she saw you, she's timid."

I walked into the house, trying not to scrunch my nose at the foul smell that came from those guys. The other three men were spread on a sofa, one of the holding a radio.

"It's a small house in the woods. About fifteen miles from where you're." One of them was saying, making my blood boil. There was fucking more of them. "Small pharmacy next to it, we'll pick you up. Just pack everything and move out."

"Hey Joey, it's Michelle, she lives here." The guy who greeted me spoke to the radioman.

"Um, hi. I'm just-- gonna take my stuff. I already told Alan, that-- you can stay here. I need to find my friend. I think you spooked her," I faked a giggle at the end, glancing at the bookshelves, which were luckily closed.

"I see. That's very nice of you." He stood up from the coach. He was tall, probably around six feet, and he was more well-build than the other men. "You don't mind Alan and Max going with you, right?"

"Oh, no," I shook my head. "I understand. You don't know me. It's this way." I led the way, noticing that they already checked the rooms, all doors were opened, wet spots from their boots all over the floor. My head was spinning from all the thought running through my head. I had about seven minutes left until Dixon will break the doors. And probably max thirty minutes until the rest of those people will come snooping.

I walked into my bedroom, straight up to the wardrobe, hearing other men, stepping in behind me, and a simple click of closing doors. I slowly turned around, smiling at them gently.

"You not gonna let me go, will you?" I said softly, and Alan shook his head, grinning at me.

"Sorry, doll."

I sighed and licked my lips, suggestively. "Well, we can make it nice for everyone then."

The other guy, Max, whistled and circled me, so now he was behind me. Alan looked me over, walking closer. I cocked my head at him, making my eyes linger on his lips. He was bigger and older, he was more dangerous.

"How about starting with that?" I spoke in a low, husky voice and put a hand on his chest, climbing on my tiptoes, ghosting over his lips. I felt disgusted with myself, but that was the easiest way I could get rid of them.

"Hm, it seems like it was a long time for you, doll." He slammed his lips on mine, and it took all my willpower to not flinch, to kiss him back. I wrapped my arm around his neck and moved the hand on his chest, slowly sneaking it under my jacket. I moaned and moved my hips slightly to distract him more. When I had a good grip on a handle, I pushed forward, my mouth covering his cry while the knife pierced his heart.

I spun around and chucked it at the other men's head, it landed in his eye. I quickly moved to the bed and reached for a wooden chest that was under it.

OK, breathe in and out, control your breathing, Elena. I opened it quickly and took out one of the spare handguns. Glock 17, I had it with me for years until I upgraded to 19. I checked the magazine and slammed it in.

There were footsteps, only one from what I heard, silently I moved behind the door, taking out my hunting knife, holding it tightly.

"Alan, are you alright?" Someone called out.

"They fine, honey," I yelled back. "We're having some fun, do you want to join?"

There was no answer, but moments later, someone pushed the door, and immediately I was on him, slitting his throat. I layed him gently on the ground, making sure to not make too much sound and then walked into Max, taking the knife back. I struck Alan in the head, stopping him from reanimating, then doing this same to the new guy.

Three left. OK. Deep breath, I can fucking do this. About four minutes left, I crept down the stairs, avoiding the step that always creeks. I sneaked up down the corridor, towards the living room, but then I saw only two guys.

Reacting quickly, I shot one between the eyes, the other tried to stand up, but I fired again, first in the chest, then at his head.

"Drop it." I could feel something pointy pressed against my back. I swallowed hard and did as the man said, letting the gun go and then kicking it away.

"Joey, was it?" I asked him, cockily, I didn't have to pretend anymore. But he should know better and aim for my throat.

I stepped forward and spun around, pushing the hand that holds the blade away and swinging my fist at his face. He stumbled a little, and I used that to kick at his wrist, making him drop the knife to the floor.

"You killed my guys."

"You invaded my home. And I heard there's more of you coming."

He didn't reply, just swang his fist at me, I moved to the side to avoid it, but he was better than I thought. He quickly stepped to the right, throwing his other hand right into my stomach.

I whimpered in pain, that was enough for him to hit me in the face, putting me to the ground. I could feel the blood running down my face, tears in my eyes made it harder to see. I moved to my back just when he came above me. He was smirking, wiping the blood from the corner of his mouth.

"You could be useful to us."

"Fuck you." I kicked out, hitting him in the knees, and rolled over, swinging my fist at his stomach. He stumbled back, and I used that time to get back to my feet. Not waiting for him to recover, I sent two quick punches into his side, to the kidney. I brought my knee up to his face, hitting him in the face.

He grabbed my leg and yelling he lifted me up and slammed me to the floor, hard. It felt like all the air left my lungs, and I could see black spots.

I could feel Joey's weight on top of me, and his hands wrapped around my throat. Oh, for fuck's sake, not again. I reached up, blinking rapidly, trying to clear my sight. I swiftly used my fingers to stab him in the eye, making him cry out in pain. Twisting my hips, I pushed him off me, climbing on top of him. I grabbed his head in both hands and slammed it into the floor. He was holding his eye, I could see blood slipping through his fingers.

I slammed his head down, again and again, until he stopped moving under me. I reached for the knife and quickly plunged it into his head, panting heavily.

Holding my head, I stood up, my legs shaking, and moved towards the door.

"Clear," I shouted, and not waiting for an answer, I crossed the room to the bookshelf. We didn't have time to waste. I banged at the wood three times.

"It's me!" I groaned in pain when I pulled and opened the secret passage. "Rick?"

"We're here." Came the answer from the bottom of a basement.

I ran down the stair, looking at the scared faces of my family. "Pack, quickly, we have about ten minutes before more of those pricks show up."

"You're alright?" Hershel asked me, moving in my direction, but I waved him off, going towards mine and Daryl's mattress.

"No fucking time. I'm not joking. Get basic food, our weapons, maps. We need to get out of here."

"El?" Daryl's worried voice came from the top of the stairs.

"Here, hurry up."

I threw the clothes I could see into my bag, people around me moved to their spots and were packing urgently. Luckily our guns were secured in my duffel, and the majority of our food was stored in crates.

"T, Glenn, get the food to the cars. Beth, Carl grab as many blankets and covers as you can," Rick started giving orders, moving to his own pack. I threw ugly poncho at Daryl, who appeared next to me, looking at me intensely.

"Not now, Daryl. Pack," I told him shortly.

Minutes later, we packed the cars with basic clothes, guns, blankets, and two crates of food. Guys brought over the water canisters, and we already had gas in the bed of the pick-up, next to Daryl's covered bike.

"OK, load up, we going! Channel One," Rick shouted, he threw one walkie-talkie to me, and the other to Hershel, climbing into the car. Lori, Carl, and Carol following him.

"Come on, woman." Daryl grabbed my hand and pulled me into Hyundai, Glenn was already behind the wheel with Maggie next to him. Hershel and Beth got into the pick-up with T-Dog.

"We're taking the route around the town, toward the place we picked up, as next one. Don't get lost." Rick's voice sounded through the radio. We moved out, taking down the gate and speeding out of town.

"El." Daryl twisted, so he could see me better and gently ran his fingers over my cheek. I hissed in pain, and he quickly stopped.

"I'm fine, Daryl," I told him, giving him a reassuring smile.

"You can't see yourself," Maggie spoke and passed me a water bottle. I didn't realize how thirsty I was until I gulped down the first sip. Now, that adrenaline left my body, I could feel all the bruises.

"Alrighty, I get it. I'm covert in blood. But it's just bruising."

"What happened?" Glenn asked, looking in the rearview mirror, over to me.

"Guys, I love you. But I'm going to tell this shit just once. So, now I'm going to take a nap, and you'll find out once we stop."

I leaned my head on the window and closed my eyes. After a second, I felt something warm covering me up, and I could smell Daryl's musky scent.

"Keep your ugly blanket," I mumbled, already on the edge of sleep.

"Shut up and sleep, woman."

We drove for about thirty miles, far away from Palmetto and potentially from the rest of the hostile group. We got to the edge of a small town; once we slowed down, I woke up and looked at my surroundings.

Rick stopped the car by one of the houses on the edge of a town, and we got out of the vehicles. Hershel walking to the front with his shotgun, Carl and Beth, on the lookout at the back. I pushed the poncho off me and jump out of the car. I walked over to T-Dog, and he handed me over my bow and quiver, having familiar weight on my back, helped me relax a little.

"Not even a scratch." The man joked quietly, making me lift my lips in a strained smile.

"I knew I could trust you with it."

"You sure you wanna come with us?" Rick asked me when I approached him, I rose an eyebrow at him, frowning.

"Try to stop me, Officer."

"Ya with me, El," Daryl grunted from the door, and I rolled my eyes.

"When am I not?" I replied snarkily, prepping my bow while he banged at the door. After we couldn't hear anything, I tried the knob, and pushed the door open, when it eased up. Daryl barged in first, quickly followed by me. We swiped through the living room; after that, we were first to approach the stairs, with Maggie and Glenn right behind me. Slowly, we climbed up the stairs, there was nothing on the landing.

I pointed to Maggie, to follow Daryl and beckoned Glenn to me. The hunter kicked the first door on the right, while I did it to the one on the left. I hissed in pain, breathing deeply. I moved to the side, letting the Asian man go in first. There was a walker next to the window, it turned when we barged in, but before it could move, Glenn plunged his hatchet through geeks head.

I checked behind the door, and the build-in wardrobe, both places were empty. Daryl and Maggie already moved on to the last entry, and came out, shaking their heads. We walked back downstairs, Rest of the group already bringing our things together.

"Bring just your packs, blankets for tonight, and one crate with food, leave rest in the cars," Rick ordered. "We can't risk staying here longer than necessary."

I moved to the door, but a heavy hand on my shoulder stopped me. I growled internally, waiting for Him to speak.

"Ya sit yur ass, I'll bring it 'ere," Daryl's gruff voice sounded in my ear, he pushed me gently towards the armchair.

"I hate you, Dixon."

"Sure, ya do, princess."

Maggie made kissy noises when Daryl left the house, but her face showed remains of fear and tiredness, so did the others. How long were they stuck in that basement, planning how to get out of it? Hoping that we'd come back soon, and take care of it. I mean, we did, I did. But our safe haven was gone. Another one.

We sat down in silence, eating small amounts of food, now we had to ration again, who knows when we going to find more.

"You gonna tell us what happened?" T-Dog asked finally, looking over at Rick. The sheriff sighed, running a hand over his hair.

"I was on watch," It was Maggie who answered, her face grim. "I saw them approaching the fence. You were gone, most of our guns in the basement."

"I told everyone to go down until we'd figure out how many," Rick added. "I thought-- maybe after a while they'd move on."

"We were there maybe twenty minutes, when we heard you," Hershel spoke, looking at me.

"We found footprints," Daryl started our point of view, and I sent him a grateful smile. "Six of them. We circled around to the front."

"When we saw the cars, we knew you were still inside." I finally spoke, glancing at Rick. "You were either dead, hidden, or taken hostage. Whichever, we had to know."

"Prints looked like men."

"So, I figured, they won't attack a woman on sight," My voice was monotonous, almost automated. "I picked them out, one at the time. Um, they let me in, but I knew that I won't be able to leave. They were all guys, possibly seeing a girl for the first time in a while."

That made Lori and Carol visibly flinch. I couldn't blame them, I don't even want to think what those guys would do if they'd find them.

"I took two of them upstairs, pretended to play along. Then another came. I found my old gun under the bed, took down the other two. But the leader was smarter. He sneaked out on me. Anyway. When I came in for the first time, I heard them contacting someone on the radio. Saying that they found a good place to stay."

"You shouldn't come in by yourself," Maggie said quietly, and I chuckled dryly at her.

"We thought that they can have you," I said, looking her directly in the eyes. "I knew they won't hurt me. Not until they'd have their fun. And I know how to deal with people like that. It's done, we're fine. That's what matters."

"How about you?" Hershel stood above me, looking me over.

"Nothing broke. I'll have a nasty bruise on my face and neck, and potentially ribs. But no trouble breathing. So I'll live. Thank you, though."

"OK, we sleep in here. Daryl, barricade the front door. T, you take the back ones."

In my dirty, bloody jacket, I was laying down on the ground, covered only in a blanket. Oh, and that stupid poncho, with Dixon behind me. He pulled me towards the corner of the room, away from others. He insisted on me sleeping next to the wall, so he can be outside, in case something happens.

"Ya were stupid," He whispered in my ear after a while.

"I know." I could drop my guard; he was the only one with whom I felt I could ultimately be myself. I reached out, behind me and found his hand, pulling at it, I made him wrap his arm around me.

"I was scared," I admitted. And that was the truth. All that time, short ten minutes, I was running purely on adrenaline, pushing forwards, trying to shut emotions off. But I knew that one wrong move could cost me my life or life of others.

The men beside me went stiff for a moment before shifting and bringing me closer to his chest.

"I ain't letting ya do it again."

"I might have a hero complex." His body shook slightly. "Are you laughing at me, Dixon?"

"Yep." He whispered against my neck, making me shiver.

We lost another safe place, but we were together, and we were alive. We going to find another secure space. But I knew we won't be completely fine. Because now, the rest of the group properly realized that we aren't just trying to survive the walkers. We were trying to live in a world where trusting other people is equally dangerous. It didn't mean we couldn't trust others, but we had to be very careful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: After this one there's only 3 more chapters before season 3!! And I'm so excited and can't wait for all of you to read what I did there ;)
> 
> But also I have a question. I have certain plans, to take this story in different directions, to make some changes. So, my question is, out of the characters in the show that died, who would you like to see alive. Who do you think Elena would be able to save?
> 
> Read, and comment!
> 
> Cheers :)


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys! Thank you so much for all the comments and suggestions. I appreciate all of them so much. I for sure I consider all of them. I already have plans in my head were to lead it all and I'm so excited for it.  
> Keep reading, and keep commenting.  
> Cheers :)

**Day 213**

It was the middle of January now, and snow was slowly melting, which was great. It meant we would be able to move quicker, and soon animals in the woods would wake up. But it also said that walkers were beginning to speed up to their usual dangerous selves.

We didn't stop anywhere for longer than a few days. All the towns ahead were tiny, so clearing them out didn't take that long. But it was more, Rick became more serious, barely smiled, or talked to anyone besides telling us what we going to do in upcoming days.

We found a semi-stocked gun shop and managed to pick up a few more rifles. Everyone got a handgun, but now apparently, it was my responsibility to make sure the group knew how to shoot. And by the group, Rick meant mainly Beth, Carol, and Lori. The others already had a proper experience, but not those three. His wife was trained thought years ago, but I could tell she wasn't very comfortable using it, so that was my task to change it.

So this is what we were doing right now, we found an abandoned house, just off the road and behind it there was a big field. We were ready to move locations, so the sheriff decided it's the right time to use the area for training purposes. Hershel, Glenn, and Maggie were standing guard by the cars while the rest were standing in front of the make-shift fire range.

Daryl and T-Dog lined up some old bottles and cans, on a big old log in the appropriate distance. The women started with their handguns. They already had basic training with those, learned back at the farm. Nonetheless, I wanted to make sure that they know how to use it and that they aren't scared of shooting.

"Don't try to use only one hand," I told Carol after watching her take few shots. "Until you're more used to it, hold it like that." I took out my Glock and wrapped both hands around it, one supporting the other.

"It'll be more stable, and give less recoil. Try it." I encouraged her and saw that Beth was listening too and correcting her own hold on a gun. Lori already knew that, but she was doing something else.

"Lori, don't close your eye." She whipped her head around to glance at me, and I sent her a small smile. "You probably think it helps your aim, but in fact, it makes it worse. Try with both eyes open."

The brown-haired woman shifted a little and tried again, following my instructions, and her aim visibly improved.

All three of them fired a few more times, hitting, or nearly, each target when I asked them to stop. We were going to switch to rifles. They all grabbed one, Beth looked scared and unsure how to deal with that type of weapon. I took one, showed them how to load it, how to hold it. I showed them a proper stance, and where exactly on the shoulder to place it.

Once I was happy with how they holding it, I fired a shot, smashing one of the bottles in the distance.

"They have more impact and recoil, it will hit your shoulder. You must hold it like this; otherwise, it can hit you in the face. Now slowly, with both eyes open, look through the scope and aim for your targets," I explained to them, watching when they did so.

"Don't hold your breath, try to take small breaths, as to not move too much, but don't hold it in."

Lori fired first, proving again, that Rick trained her well, as she was able to hit one of the cans. Beth was slightly off target, but it's because she shifted just before firing. I went behind her and moved her hips a little into the right position and told her to try again.

Carol I would say was a good student, she quickly got the gist, and now she shot down two bottles in a row, making me nod proudly.

"Walkers!" Daryl announced, pointing behind the firing range, far away two corpses started walking in our direction.

"Alright, lesson over," I said, pushing women towards the cars.

"Let's move out," Rick ordered, and we loaded into the cars, ready to go towards our next destination.

"If I sit in this car any longer, my spine is going to cave in," I announced to no one in particular.

"I'm pretty sure that's not how that works," Maggie commented dryly from the front seat, making me roll my eyes.

We drove for what felt like hours, towards Griffin. It was larger, and we hoped it'll have more food and other supplies. We didn't found another gold mine like in Sharpsburg, all those months ago. We had to continually ration, in fear of running out, and the priority was Carl and Lori. Often, I found myself giving the remaining bits of my portion to one of them. I knew how much I needed to keep me going, but Daryl was sending me angry glares every time he noticed.

Yes, Daryl. After _the thing_ as Glenn called it, in Palmetto, the hunter was always around me. Although it was sweet I didn't understand it, I tried to reason with him, that I can take care of myself. But that was like talking to a brick wall. Very handsome, brick wall.

"Stop yur winging, woman." Speaking of a devil, since Daryl's bike was out of commission for few more weeks, he traveled with me. And it drove me crazy! In a good way, I think, the issue was that he was so close all the time. In the car, on the run, during the house sweep, through the night. How am I supposed to suppress those feelings for him when he was always around. I know he cares, and it's his way of showing it. If he wasn't with me, he was keeping an eye at Carol.

They grew closer in past weeks as well, she was continually giving him shit, and yesterday she called Dixon, _Pookie_. I thought I'm going to die, I was laughing so hard. His reaction was priceless. Daryl's eyes rapidly widened, and a blush spread from his neck to the tips of his ears. He avoided her since then, making me smirk every time I noticed.

"No one makes you drive with me, Dixon," I finally replied, watching him scowled at me.

"So what you think about that new place?" Glenn asked from the driver's seat.

"Who fucking knows." I sighed and looked out the window. I was already used to see abandoned streets and vehicles, walkers stumbling in the distance.

"Same shit as always," Daryl told the other man. "Find food, shelter, and see how it goes."

"Aren't you tired of that?" Maggie grew more serious, she wasn't accustomed to that kind of life, to the constant moving.

"Nah, Merle, and I never stayed in one place for a long." I smiled to myself, that was another change in Daryl. He still didn't share important details of his life, but bits here and there, just like now. He started to fully trust this group, and I couldn't be prouder of him.

"I was always on the road. We were taking cases all around the states, helping local police." I told them, remembering my desk and always prepped go-bag.

"Anything big?" That was it, keeping their minds occupied, focusing on something other than perspective off another disappointment.

"Um, I don't know. We had two cases in Georgia since I joined the unit. Spring, two thousand and eight. Mass shooter in Albany."

"I remember that!" Glenn exclaimed, looking at me in the mirror. "You caught him, didn't you?

"Yeah, took us two days and four more victims, though."

"Who was he?" Maggie asked me, interest evident on her face. Even Daryl shifted slightly, telling me that he was listening as well.

"I can't remember his name. Ex-military, he blamed people in his community for his wife's death while he was overseas. Psychotic breakdown, basically." They didn't need to know all the evil and gory details.

"Were ya ever shot?" Daryl asked in his typical, gruff voice.

"Yeah. But only flesh wounds, we always wore vests while making arrests."

He hummed in response and looked out of the window. Nothing, of course, was as bad as that night when Amelia died. But that one was on me, there wasn't anyone else to blame, unfortunately.

The car finally came to a stop. I got out, looking around and furrowing my brows. We were standing in front of a fenced area, but it wasn't a house.

"Ya sure about that?" Daryl asked when we got to the sheriff. Rick looked forward, stroking his growing beard, and nodded eventually.

"Yeah, shutters will protect us from the wind, and I don't think many people would think of coming here. And it's not that big." He started, catching my eyes. "And according to the map, we're in an industrial district. There may be some food factories around, that might be untouched."

It wasn't a bad idea. And walkers were still slower than during summer; at the same time, it was riskier. But I think I understood what Rick saw in this place. It's not permanent, for sure, but it may be our chance to catch a break. Replenish our supplies.

"So, how do you want to do it?" I asked him.

"Someone goes on top, so we can tell how big this place is if they can see any walkers. We clear it, pick a few units, and hide the cars."

"Cool. Glenn should do it; he has a great sense of direction."

"That's what I was thinking."

Daryl helped Glenn to climb up one of the storage units. The young man took one of the walkie-talkies and my binoculars. Rick, Daryl, and T had the other radios, and we waited for information from Glenn to find out what we're against.

"Three rows, split in the middle," The Asian man spoke quietly through the device. "Some walkers at the end and on the right. But I can't see the left side properly."

While he spoke, Rick was using a stick to draw sort of map on the dirt road. "Carl and I take a right, circle around here." He pointed quickly at the ground. "Maggie and T, you take that middle and go around through the middle. Elena, Daryl, you take a left, and then the back. Let's go."

Silently, quick on our feet, we split up. Daryl was ahead of me, both of our bows up. It wasn't our first rodeo, so when he fired the first bolt at the stumbling walker, I pushed past him—giving him time to reload, sending an arrow into the second walker's head. The place was indeed small, so we quickly got into the middle split, Glenn mentioned. Dixon was closest to it, and he aimed his crossbow, but there was nobody there.

We turned the corner, right at the back, seeing around five geeks, muffled gunshots coming from the other side. While Daryl was loading a new bolt after shooting, I stepped in front, protecting him and hit the last walker that was coming at us.

But I haven't seen another geek, that came from the aisle T and Maggie supposed to be clearing. It used to be a woman, she was missing half of her face and was wearing only a nightshirt. By how she looked like, I estimated that she had to turn early on.

She surprised me, though. She was reaching out with her hands, grabbing onto my arm, which luckily was covered in many layers. Her strength and momentum pushed us onto the floor, and only my quick reactions saved me from being bitten.

I pushed my forearm onto her neck and tried to bend my legs to push her off me. My bow was in the way though, and I felt the snap of an arrow, that was still notched in place.

"Daryl?" I cried out, struggling to free my other hand, I could feel the string cutting through the skin, making the walker go more frantic at the smell of fresh blood. "Fuck, fuck."

I saw a shadow above us, and seconds later, the geek's body went still and being pushed off me. Dixon looked at me with worry, but when I smiled at him, his shoulders relaxed a little.

"Not bit. All good," I told the hunter when he helped me up.

"Shit, Elena. I'm sorry. We were making our way here, but it was faster." I heard Maggie speak, looking me over for any signs of an injury. I looked down, the arrow was indeed broken, and I threw it to the ground. I lifted the bow, inspecting it briefly, for any damage, but couldn't see any. I had a scratch on the outside of my hand, but it wasn't deep, no need for a bandage.

"Are you scratched?" T-Dog's voice was shaky, and when I lifted my eyes in confusion, I saw him look down at my hand.

"Oh, no, no. It's from the string," I assured the man quickly; both he and Maggie breathed out in relive.

"Clear." Rick's voice cracked through radios, making us remember what we're actually doing here.

"Clear everywhere," Daryl grunted into his walkie-talkie, and we made our way back to the front.

Rick decided to take the smaller set of units, next to the office, only three of them. And one of us would be having a watch outside, through the night. The best would be to get on top of a building, but unless we'd find a ladder, that was out of option.

The plan was straightforward. I break in into the ones Rick chose, set in, bring cars around, and then we go to check the other units, one by one. I was disappointed when we opened the three, which Rick picked. I always imagined that storages like that will hide some sort of treasures, or at least something entertaining. They weren't enormous, maybe three by three.

One had a few bicycles and some old children's toys, packed into the boxes. We quickly emptied it, making space so we can stay inside it.

The second one was nearly empty, except for one bed, with an old, stained mattress.

The third one was full of books and comics, something that Carl was super excited about.

Like I said, nothing fucking exciting. At the moment, we were facing the possibility of sleeping on a cold cement floor, and I wasn't looking forward to that. The bed will go to Lori, there was no doubt there, she and baby need it more than any of us.

We checked the rest, finding some more mattresses and blankets, some in horrible shape. There was so much junk, old computers, and furniture, magazines, books. Nothing really that could help us, but we had a place to spend the night or few, depends on how Rick feels about this place. Oh, and what we'll find in town.

Maggie and Glenn tried to claim a unit for themselves, but there wasn't enough space to allow them to have it without sharing. So we pushed T-Dog into their box, he was threatening them that if he as much hears one moan, he'll kill them. Or himself.

Lori and Carl were taking the bed in the middle unit, with Hershel and Rick next to them. We pulled two small mattresses for them, it nearly took all the space inside, leaving barely any area to move.

We found two more big beds; of course, we didn't take the frames. We had our backpacks with us, and weapons, T-Dog was going to take the first watch, then Rick and finally, me. There was an office on the right, in the corner next to the fence. It had windows all around, so it was the right place, with a chair and a small desk.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting when the time for bed came. Every night for the past months, Daryl was a constant, lying next to me, warming my body. But it was all discreet, usually when others already were asleep, and he tried to be gone in the morning before anyone woke up. But now we were stuck in small space with two other women, one of them an innocent teenager and the other, a mother figure, who loved teasing Dixon as much as I did.

So, ultimately, I wasn't surprised when after eating small dinner, from cans, he waited for the other women and me to lay down. Then he sat down, at the end of my mattress, propped against the wall. I wrapped myself in a blanket and bent my knees, to make more space for Daryl. I wanted him to be as comfortable as possible. Still, I missed his closeness, which seemed silly, considering he sat just a few inches from me. But it wasn't enough anymore. And that again scared me.

No, I need to really stop looking at all this in that way. He is my friend. I care for him, and it doesn't matter what kind of other feelings I might have. Most importantly, he's my best friend, and that's how I need to treat him. I can't be pushing him into the direction he doesn't want to go, or he'll shut down.

**Day 225**

The snow melted entirely about a week ago, we managed to scavenged what we could in Griffin, but there wasn't a lot left. I started to feel, like we were following the path of other people, shop after shop, house after house, the majority of it was already picked through. And that wasn't the worse of it. Walkers seemed to wake up from their slumber and group together once more. So now we were being chased by the bunch of undead.

We had to move on from the town, and we found some cabin in the woods, it was tiny with only one room and something that supposed represent a toilet. The morale of the group was also slowly going down. Daryl was getting restless. He put down his bike yesterday, and that's how we got here. With the crispy wind in our faces, blowing our hair into the air. That helped the hunter, but now in this small space, he became anxious again. He couldn't go hunting, because there was no game yet, so he was pacing by the window almost all the time.

Oh, and now we were listening, not voluntarily, of course, to Lori and Rick. They were quarreling outside, and there was no way for us not to hear it. That was one of the reasons Dixon was standing by the window; he was anxious about any walkers hearing their voices. Carl was holding onto Carol, hiding his teary face in her chest.

"I told you! I thought you were dead!" Lori cried, trying to plead with her husband. She was tired and scared. Her belly was showing, she was around six and a half month now, and her hormones were flooding her body.

"I'm tired of that excuse," Rick didn't hold back either, not this time. "You had a fucking affair with my best friend."

For the majority of us, that wasn't new information. Still, when Carl heard it, sat straighter, shock visible on his puffy face. "What?" His voice was small and shaky.

"And then, you told me all these things, about how dangerous he is, how I have to do something about it." Rick kept talking, his voice bitter and full of anger. "And when I did, because he'd have killed me, you stop talking to me."

I sighed heavily and stood up.

"What you doing?" Hershel asked me, watching my moves. I ignored him and moved to the door, opening them in one swift motion.

That got the attention of the couple. Lori was holding her belly like she would be protecting her baby from Rick's anger. Her face was red, tears freely streaming down her cheeks. The sheriff's jaw was clenched tightly, and so were his fists.

I got closer to him, even though they didn't realize how loud they were, I knew.

"Both of you shut up!" I hissed at them, hoping that no one else will hear me. "Your son is inside, and guess what, he could hear fucking everything. So stop this, because it's not the time or place. You're scaring your boy."

I turned back, walking inside, grabbing my book I managed to take with us. Of course, I wasn't stupid; there was no way of hiding, not in such a small space.

Carl watched his mom walk back inside. He stood up and strode towards her. Lori smiled gently, crouching down in front of the boy.

"I'm sorry that you had-"

"You and Shane?" Carl asked her, his face scrunched like he couldn't believe what he heard.

"Sweety, it's not as it seems."

"Is the baby his?" Wow, kiddo, you for sure know what type of questions to ask.

Lori looked lost, she glanced at Rick, but his expression was blank like carved in stone. I sighed and stood up again.

"Dixon, grab your shit. We're going hunting." The man glared at me, but didn't question anything, just took hold of his crossbow and walked towards the door. I grabbed Carl's jacket and then pushed him towards the door.

"Where you taking me?"

"Out." I hold his hand in a firm grip, pulling him outside. I stopped next to Rick for a second and whispered. "I'll keep him safe. Sort your shit."

"I'm not a kid, stop treating me like one." Carl tried to get away from my grasp, but I just pulled him with me after Daryl. We walked for a few minutes, far enough from the cabin, before I whistled, making the hunter stop. I let go of the boy's hand and passed him the jacket.

"Put it on, you gonna be cold." he snatched it out of my hands, and angrily shrugged it on.

"Now. I'm going to tell you something, and you going to listen. And then we will see if we can find some animals. Can you do it for me?" I asked him crouching in front of him. He looked me in the eye, and I could see him for who he was. A scared boy, afraid of walkers, starving, with his family falling apart in front of his eyes. He nodded slowly, protectively crossing his arms.

"First, I need you to know that your parents love you very much. They're arguing, but it has nothing to do with you, and it's not your fault, do you understand it?"

Carl again shook his head as yes, and I swallowed, trying to think of what to say next.

"Whatever happened between your mom and Shane, it was over as soon as your dad came back. I saw it myself; she was so sure that Rick was dead. And she was alone and scared, trying to protect you." I scrunched my face because I wasn't sure if he'd understand what I'm trying to tell him.

"When people are like that. Sad and grieving, they often turn to someone nice and helpful to them. And Shane was very nice and helpful to your mom. He took care of both of you when you needed it the most."

"But- she cheated on dad!" He didn't understand, I licked my lips and tried to think about how to make it cleared.

"Ya like Spiderman, right?" Daryl spoke, coming closer, but still looking out.

"Yeah," Carl answered, not sure what that has anything to do with this situation. Neither did I.

"And if Spiderman would die, and ya would read um-"

"Spiderman is dead, so you'd start reading Iron Man." I quickly added, knowing that Daryl has no clue about comic books. He glanced at me, gratefully, and continued.

"Yeah. And ya'd like it. But then ya'd realize that Spiderman is alive. Would ya feel like ya cheated?"

"No, they killed of Spiderman, and I wouldn't know that he's alive until next issue and- oh." He looked between us and bit his lip, and I could see tears forming in his eyes.

"But what if the baby's not dads?" He started crying, and I pulled him to me, running my hand gently through his hair.

"It doesn't matter. It will be your little brother or sister, and no matter what, it will be your dad's kid."

"So, what. I should just pretend that it didn't happen?"

"What I mean is that your little sibling is most important now. And your mom is already stressed. All I'm asking is to try not to blame her for what happened. To not stress her more. Shane- that's something your parents need to resolve by themself."

"But you could help them, right? You're psy- psycho something." I heard Daryl snicker, and I glared at him, the wrong time to laugh, Dixon.

"That sort of thing takes time, Carl. And we'd need some privacy."

"So, when we find a safe place, you could do it? Help them?"

"Sure, kiddo." I made sure to put a sweet smile on my face, even when everything inside me was shouting.

"Come on, let's go," Daryl said, urging us to move.

How could I tell Carl that I wasn't sure if I can help his parents? That they both would have to be willing. And most importantly, that I wasn't sure if we'll find any safe place. What was safe these days? My house was until it wasn't. Even if we'd find something, who's to tell how long it would last.


	32. Chapter 32

**Day 239**

I don't know how to help the group. I mean beside basic survival, of course, and doing whatever I can to protect them, but that's not what worries me. It's about how slowly they just shut down, we don't often talk, not anymore. Lori is ignored now by both her husband and her son. T-Dog doesn't joke anymore, Glenn and Maggie interact mainly with themselves.

We kept moving, not separating, never stayed in one place for longer than three days. As soon as Rick notices any recent traces of other people, we'd move out and drive for hours.

Rick was another worry for me; he kept mainly to himself. When he spoke, it was only to give orders, he didn't smile, and his expression was always grim. I noticed that he didn't sleep for longer than a few hours. Sleep deprivation could lead to severe consequences, something which I obviously casually told him. But I was being ignored. I mean, he still listened to me when we planned where to go next, what we need, but otherwise, I was ghosted, just like his wife. Or anyone else for that matter.

"Ya scaring all game." Daryl's gruff voice sounded from behind, making me stop and look around at him.

"I'm not, I wasn't loud," I replied. Ever since the ground wasn't frozen anymore, the hunter decided it was time to check the woods and see if we could catch any animals.

"With yur thinkin', woman."

I sighed at that and just started walking again. The bow in my hand was ready, but the fact was that there weren't any animals here, nor were yesterday or day before that. But I didn't comment on that, I knew that Daryl needed to get away from others even if just for a little bit. And woods always gave him a sense of freedom, where he felt most comfortable.

"What, no witty reply?" He asked me again, making me shake my head.

"I thought I'd give you a break, Big Boy."

I heard a familiar snap of his crossbow, and I spun around to see where he was aiming. On the forest's floor layed a small squirrel, how did I miss it I'll never know. I watched him walk towards the animal and remove his bolt, and tie up the critter to a string he always carried.

"No game, hm?" He looked at me with a smug face, making me chuckle a little.

"Lucky, that's it. It probably just pop out, to check if it's safe. Worst decision of its life."

"Nah, they always come out at that time. One more week, and birds will come back."

"OK, you're the hunter."

"What's on yur mind, El?" He asked me in a softer voice when we started moving again, circling back to start our journey back.

"Everybody's so quiet recently. They feel like there's no place for us." I told him, pushing past him when he indicated for me to lead the way.

"Can't blame them."

"I'm not. Just thinking what can be done about that. The worse we could do is to lose hope."

"Then what ya suggest?" That's actually something I was considering for a few days now, but I knew that Rick won't agree. He's adamant that there's a place, right around the corner, metaphorically speaking, waiting for us.

"Maybe we should expand. Collect as much gas as we can. Check the maps for possibly secured landmarks, not just in Georgia." I told him, furrowing my brow at that thought. It would have to be something with tall fences or walls. Someplace where we can defend ourselves, and see any incoming dangers.

"Hmm, I never left Georgia," Daryl replied in a strained voice. I knew it wasn't because of sentiment. He thought I didn't notice. But every time he asked me to lead the way, it wasn't just so he can watch my back. It was so he can look for signs of Merle without being spotted and without losing focus on the group's needs. I was his anchor, so he won't get lost in the woods, looking for his missing brother.

"It'd require lots of planning, and Rick won't agree. That's why I didn't say anything. But we have limited supplies. There's no point going further south."

"Why not?"

"Fort Benning. If it was in fact, overrun, there would be lots of walkers with heavy artillery and military outfits. Harder to kill."

Daryl grunted in reply, thinking over what I just said.

"What about the west? Towards Carolina's and sea?" The hunter's question made me stop in my tracks and turn around to him. He was deep in thought, biting on his bottom lip. I watched his eyes, they were darker than usual, meaning that he was slightly angry or agitated.

"Daryl. I know why you don't want to leave Georgia." I told him softly, coming closer, putting one hand on his shoulder. His eyes went down, staring into mine. "It's a good idea. But Rick is adamant that there's something for us here. And as long as we're here, you can search for Merle. I'd never take it away from you."

"Ya know?" His voice was huskier, the only indication of his emotions while his face stayed blank.

"Of course. You're my best friend. I know you." I smiled at him gently, and when it was evident, he has nothing else to say I started trekking through the forest again. Back to where our group was waiting.

**Day 244**

Did I mention before that we were chased by a herd of walkers? Yes, good. We kept moving south, not far. We were running low on gas, hell, we were low on anything. Just a few cans left in our cars, some old chips long past their due date, this same with protein bars. And one canister of fuel, to share between three cars and a bike.

Daryl gracefully volunteered himself and me, to go for a run. Usually, I'd jump first and wrap my arms around his waist as quickly as possible. But for the past two days, I felt like shit. I had a cold, or flu, fuck knows. But the last thing I wanted to do was go to get gas. The problem was that we didn't have a lot of medicine. We found some about a week ago, but I wasn't going to take it. In case someone would need it more, all I needed was some rest and sleep. Sweat out that shit out of my system. Of course, Dixon had other fucking plans.

So, now I was stuck at the back of his bike, my weapons weighing me down, for the first time in forever. The weather was improving, Daryl ditched his leather jacket, leaving only long-sleeved shirt and an angel vest. But I was still stubbornly wrapped in my cargo coat. When I walked like that towards the bike, zipped up all the way to my neck, with the clenched jaw to stop trembling, he looked at me like I'm crazy.

Group needs, group receives, that's what I swore to myself, back at the quarry, and I wasn't letting some stupid cold stop me from delivering.

Daryl stopped the bike in a parking lot of a small shop. I furrowed my brows, but get off it, stretching my joints. My muscles hurt, and my head was pounding like someone was drilling through my skull. My throat felt like sandpaper, and I had trouble swallowing. Sighing heavily, I readied my bow, grabbing the arrow from my back. While I was looking out for any trouble, Dixon took two containers and a hose, approaching one of the abandoned vehicles.

I had a bad feeling about this place. But I didn't know if it's because I felt like shit, or because something was genuinely wrong. All my instincts felt out of place.

Down the road, I noticed a movement, three walkers came out from around the corner. I shifted my stance and stretched the string. Gritting my teeth at the pain in my muscles, I took a few deep breaths, stabilizing my arms. I send the first arrow, hitting the chest of the closest walker.

"Fuck!" I mumbled under my breath, quickly notching another, and releasing, finally hitting my target. I repeated it until all three geeks were on the ground. I looked behind my shoulder, seeing that Daryl moved to another vehicle, sucking on a hose to make the gas flowing.

I jogged forward to collect the arrows, cringing at the sickening sound they made when I pulled them out of the walker's brains. I froze for a second when I looked up, dozens of geeks were slowly making their way towards me, the scent of decay filling my nostrils, making me gag. Their groans sounded in my ears. Fuck, I haven't seen anything like that since the highway, the day we lost Sophia.

I spun around and ran back to the hunter.

"Daryl!" I called out, he stood up and took in my running form. "We need to go!"

I saw him put a lid on the container and move quickly to his bike. I watched his eyes open widely when he looked at something above my shoulder. Yeah, I had a vague idea of how it fucking looked like.

I pushed my legs to work faster, coming to an abrupt stop next to the hunter. He sat down and passed me both containers.

"You shiting me."

"El!" His voice was urgent, making me growl. I climbed the bike and placed gas canisters between our bodies, one hand on top of them, the other holding onto Daryl. He turned the engine on, bike roaring into life, and he took off, nearly knocking me off balance.

"Watch it, for fuck sake!" I yelled at him, but he ignored me. Daryl unclipped the walkie-talkie from the front of the bike and pressed the button.

"Herd. We gonna drive 'em away!" We going fucking what?! I regretted getting up this morning with every passing second, more and more.

"Copy. Contact us when you're safe." Rick's voice sounded through the radio, making me groan internally. Dixon stopped, letting the herd catch up to us, before starting up again, when I patted his shoulder. He turned into the side road, the houses we passed were in horrible conditions. You'd never think how dirty and dusty buildings can become in eight months. Vines were climbing, covering the sides, windows busted. All that humanity worked so hard for generations, gone in just under a year.

"Fuck." I heard Daryl growl, the bike stopping urgently, making me fall forward and drop one of the canisters. It busted open, spilling gasoline all over the road. There were more walkers, right in front of us, trapping us between two herds.

"To the left, we can't lead them to the rest!" I told him. I reached into my holster, taking out my Glock. I trapped the remaining canister between my tights and wrapped my left arm tightly around Daryl's waist.

"What ya doin'?" He yelled over the engine, looking for a possible way out.

"Just go!" I shouted in his ear, finally making him spin the gear, turning the bike to the left. Blood in my veins was pumping faster, I twisted my body, right arm stretched behind me. Walkers followed us in tandem, but my eyes were focused on the ground, on tipped, red plastic bottle.

When we were away enough that I deemed it semi-safe, I wrapped my finger around the trigger.

"Floor it!" I shouted at Daryl, squeezing at the same time, firing two rounds.

The blast was lauder then I anticipated, the bike swerved harshly, making me grab onto the Dixon tighter. He was cursing under his breath, trying to regain control over the machine. Orange flames busted into the air, covering the walkers that were the closest to it. It spread from the canister through the puddle and splashes on the asphalt.

Daryl drove away from the fire, for a few miles, his body was tense under my arms. I guess he wasn't the happiest person on earth. When we came to a stop, away from the herd, he jumped off the bike. When I tried to follow him, he just rose his hand, stopping me. I held on to the gas canister, observing Dixon.

I scrunched my brows at his pacing. He was walking in circles, right next to me, his grip on a crossbow was so tight that his knuckles went white. He mumbled something, but I couldn't hear what. I never saw him like that, and I wasn't sure what to do to help him. I mean, we should just fucking be on our way, go around and back to Rick and rest of our people. I shifted uncomfortably on a bike.

I sneezed, hiding face in my elbow, clearing my throat. I just want to fucking lay down, but no, Daryl needs to be-- I don't even know what.

"Daryl?" I spoke quietly, his head snapped in my direction when he heard me speak, there was something weird in his face. He strode over, and grabbed my shoulders, more harshly than I'd like. And normally I'd slap him or push him away, but his eyes stopped me. Those bright blue orbs stared directly into mine, he was angry and scared.

"What. Was. That?" He snarled at me, making me flinch a little bit.

"Um, your welcome."

"Don't." He shook his head, clenching his jaw, not moving his eyes.

"Dixon, what the fuck. We were far away from the group." I hissed at him in reply, my own anger pushing forward.

"Ya could kill us."

"I made sure we're far enough, you dipshit. I gave them something to be interested in for a while until we can go away!"

"Ya fucking crazy." He exclaimed, straightening up and throwing his arms in the air in frustration.

"We lost gas, I knew what I was doing. I calculated every move. I gave us a chance!"

"Ya risked yur fucking life!" He shouted in my face, his thin lips pressed into a line. "What if ya were wrong? Ya'd be first to burn."

What? Was that all about me getting hurt? Slowly I placed the canister on the ground and swang my leg over the bike, standing up. He looked like a wild animal, and that's how I approached him. Slowly, my hand gently reached his broad chest. Daryl's body went stiff, and his eyes darted to mine.

"Daryl, I'm fine. We're fine." I moved closer, tilting my head up, to keep our eyes connected. "Walkers are crispy, and slowed down, hopefully, distracted for long enough to get us back."

He shook the head, his nostrils flared. "How can ya joke now?"

"Look, I know that sometimes you question my choices." I started, hoping to calm him down enough so we can get the fuck out of here. He snorted, closing his eyes for a moment.

"Boar, vatos, Randall's group, yur crazy neighbor." He started counting, hesitantly wrapping his arm around me, pulling me to him. He pressed his forehead to mine, eyes still closed.

"That's just a few times ya nearly fuckin' died, El."

"Daryl." I breathed out his name, merely a whisper. My chest ached a little, and something twisted, deep in my belly. "And how many times was I actually hurt?"

"Three."

"I know it seems like I'm crazy. But trust me, I am opposite of impulsive. I always think about the risks, and always chose the best one. Not for me, but for the group."

"That's what worries me, woman." His voice was softer, resigned. We were so close now, my heart beating so fast that I was afraid it would burst. I had my hand on his chest, and I could feel that his heart was doing precisely this same. I moved my other hand and placed it carefully on his cheek, his scruffy beard tickling my palm and fingers.

"I'm careful, always. You have to trust me. You are my partner, on a hunt, on the run. I need to know that you trust my judgment. I have no wish to die, and I'll always do everything to survive."

He pried his eyes open and tensed again when he noticed how close we were. I smiled at him gently, brushing my thumb over his cheekbone.

"You have to got faith in me, Dixon."

"I do." I sighed in relief at that, his breath gently brushing over my face. Now that he calmed down, relaxed, I could enjoy his closeness. I wished though that my nose wasn't blocked so I could appreciate his musky scent.

"Daryl, do you copy?" Rick's voice broke the spell before I could do anything stupid. Like, kiss him. I cleared my throat and scrunched my brows, slowly pulling away from the hunter's embrace.

"Yeah, we're here." Daryl's voice was hoarse, and he kept glancing at me.

"Where are you?"

"We're comin' back now. Twenty minutes." Daryl spoke to the radio, mounting his bike, motioning for me to climb back in.

When we got back to the small house we holed up in, I went straight to Hershel. Today completely wore me out, even though we couldn't be gone longer than three hours. But I felt like shit, more than I did when I woke up this morning, and I decided it was time to stop being a proud cow and ask for help.

"Hershel." I croaked at him, dropping my bow and quiver into the corner I was sleeping in. "How much aspirin we got left?"

"Half a bottle? Why? What's wrong?" My only answer was another sneeze, and he looked me over. "Why you didn't say anything before?"

I didn't have a valid answer, except that it didn't feel important, so I stayed quiet while he pushed me to one of the couches.

"You look like crap," Carol commented, sitting next to me, placing her hand on my forehead.

"Well, fuck off."

"She got fever," The woman announced to Hershel when he came back with his stethoscope and meds.

"No shit, Sherlock." I coughed into my hand, and the old man asked me to take off my jacket. I didn't protest when Carol helped me out of it, leaving me in a long-sleeved shirt. I could feel it clinging to my body.

"Beth, could you pass me a fresh shirt, from Elena's bag?" Bless you, Peltier, now that I sat down, there was no way I could move.

"Can we have some privacy?" Hershel asked, over his shoulder, where our group stood, watching me with worried faces. I caught Daryl's eyes, sending him a tired smile before he moved to the kitchen, others following behind him.

"Should I ask why you smell like gasoline and fire?" Carol asked me while I took off my shirt. I didn't care about my scars anymore, Doc had already seen them, and I knew she wouldn't comment on it.

"Hmm. I maybe, potentially, blew up some walkers." I stuttered, not looking anywhere near her.

"Right. I bet Daryl was happy."

"Yeah. Buzzing," I snorted, making her and Hershel chuckle.

"You're not dying if you're joking."

"Is that your professional opinion, Doc?"

Hershel pressed the cold metal to my chest, moving my locket gently out of the way, and then to my back.

"That's new," Carol said softly, looking at my chest.

"No, I had those for about twenty years." I deadpanned, knowing that it's not what she meant.

"Not your boobs." She scoffed, pointing at the neckless. I touched it with my fingertips, running over small gems.

"A. Um, it's not. I had it for a few months." I avoided her eyes, putting a clean shirt when Hershel finished his examination.

"I see. You found it on the run?" She was smiling smugly, knowing exactly where it came from.

"Birthday present. From Dixon. If you're going to give him shit about it, I'll kick your ass." I pointed a finger at her, but she just laughed.

"Fine with me. I can bug you about it."

I groaned, desperate for this conversation to be over.

"Your lungs seem to be clear. So it's just a nasty cold." Hershel announced and pressed pills and water bottle into my hand. "Take those. You should be fine in a few days, but if your fever doesn't go down, we'll have to find you some antibiotics."

"Yay." Can you feel the sarcasm? I swallowed the meds, drinking greedily.

"OK, and now you gonna lay down and try to sleep."

"Alrighty." I stood up and moved towards my corner, but Carol blocked my path, raising her eyebrow.

"Where are you going?" I waived in the general direction of my sleeping area, but she shook her head.

"You're ill. You stay on the couch." There were two, one occupied by Lori, the other by Carol herself. The big armchair was Hershel's spot.

"I can't take your spot," I told her, crossing my arms. And she sent me a wide smile.

"You can, and you'll. I'll take your corner." There was a mischievous flicker in her eyes before she continued. "Maybe Daryl will keep me warm tonight?"

I kept my face blank, but everything inside me was screaming at her. She had to be joking, right? Just trying to get a reaction out of me. Yes, that must be it. So I shrugged, and plunged myself on a sofa, wrapping my body in a blanket.

"Sure, good luck," I replied, shifting into a more comfortable position. Carol busted in laughter, trying to cover it with a cough.

"Your face, priceless." She said, and bend down, pulling covers all the way to my neck. "I told you before. I don't like him like that. You have nothing to worry about." She whispered gently in my ear, kissing me on the forehead.

"Whatever," I told her grumpily, closing my eyes.

Oh, that was nice. I was warm and surrounded by my family. I knew I was safe with them, they would take care of me. My mind started to drift off, and soon I submitted to the darkness.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The last chapter before season 3, who's excited? I know I am. I have the majority of it already written down, and more I have the more I just want to upload it straight away! But I'm trying to be patient. Hope you'll enjoy this chapter and stay tuned for what's coming.
> 
> Cheers! :)

**Day 269**

"I don't understand," Glenn spoke from the driver's seat, making me look up from my book.

"What?" I asked him, confused.

"Why are you still driving with us."

Ah, yes. We were on the road again. Now we were moving every other day, Rick started to get paranoid, about walkers and other people. And I couldn't blame him. We were running out of supplies and out of places to scavenge.

But Glenn was talking about something else.

So, figures, my fever didn't break down straight away, no it developed into the nasty flu, which didn't want to leave me for a week. The majority of the group went on the run to find stronger medications. And I was stuck in that house, with a pregnant woman, a teenager, older man and mother hen who tried to find out all there is about Daryl and me.

But then we had to move, almost immediately after they came back; apparently, they got into the trouble and this time left witnesses. So we were running, west this time. For the past week, I was immobile, mainly passed out from fever at the back of Glenn's car. But pills finally kicked in, and I was feeling much better for about two days, even going for a final run yesterday, before we moved out.

"Are you complaining?" I asked the man, cocking my eyebrow at him. "Tired of my charming personality?"

"I'm just surprised, that's it."

"Babe," Maggie started, putting a hand on her boyfriend's leg. "He doesn't want her out, with the wind in her hair. He doesn't want her to get more ill."

"Aaa, so he's overprotective."

"Now you get it, babe."

"I think I'll catch a ride with T when we stop," I told them dryly, tired of their constant nagging about Daryl and I. Though I wasn't sure if the other man would be a better choice. Probably the same, if not worse.

"Eli, you know we care about you," Maggie told me, twisting in her seat, to look at me, a smug smile on her face.

"You got a funny way of showing it."

"That's what friends do. But watching you two is like a plodding romance novel; you just want to skip to the steamy part."

I gaped at the woman in front with my eyes wide open. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Clearing the throat, I looked away, watching passing scenery out of the window.

"He doesn't feel like that, so you all can just close the book, 'cause it's not the one you're looking for," I spoke quietly, for the first time not avoiding the subject.

"So, _you_ do feel that way?" Glenn asked me, his voice void of any humor.

"Even if I do, it doesn't matter. If I'd try something, he'd probably run for the hills." I told them, scrunching my nose a little, just imagining what would happen made me uneasy. "I don't want to destroy what we have."

"Eli, you don't see how he's looking at you," Maggie said gently, making me look at her with surprise in my gray eyes.

"She's right," Glenn added, glancing in the mirror at me. "It's like, whenever you're not next to him, his watching your every move, from across. As if he's checking that you're still there and safe."

"He cares. Friends care for each other." I was still skeptical, but I made a mental note to myself to pay closer attention to Dixon from now on.

"Why are you so stubborn and defensive about it?" Maggie sighed, what she said triggered something inside me. Why can't they see the reason why the fuck they keep pestering me about it all the time?

"Because I don't want my heart broken," I sneered at her, looking between two of them. "Because not everything is a fairy tale, like with you two. And the last thing I need is being stuck in the group I care about with a person who rejected me."

Finally, that shut them up, but they exchanged the look, something like pity crossing a woman's face. I crossed my arms and turned to look out of the window again. I doubt it will be the end of that conversation, but for now, I get a moment of peace.

"How much we got left?" I asked Carol quietly, crouching next to her. I passed her the few cans I managed to find in the kitchen. The woman was sorting through our rations, while the others were securing the house we just searched. We haven't been to this town before, but it was looted.

"With today, maybe three days." She replied. Her face was dirty, so were her naked arms. We all looked filthy, from mud and luck of any attempts at washing. Both food and water were a luxury, and we couldn't afford to waste it. I finally nodded, acknowledging that I heard her.

"OK, give me stuff for today, please." Carol handed me three cans with some ready spaghetti in it and two bars of protein bars. Plus, two water bottles. Between eleven people, one of them heavily pregnant and the growing teenager. I pushed the feeling of worry deep down, putting a blank expression on my face before walking into the living room.

Tomorrow we'll move on, check other houses, and we passed a food store on our way here, so I would have to speak to Rick about going there. But the sheriff was more reluctant recently to going into the stores, preferring just to scavenge houses one by one.

But for the last few days, it was evident that it wasn't the right call. Safer, definitely, but we are going to starve before hitting the jackpot. Group was quiet more often now, Lori only spoke with Carol and Hershel, mainly about the baby. Beth mostly wrote in her notebook, when not on the road. Maggie and Glenn kept to each other, holding hands, reassuring themselves that everything will be alright. T-Dog was more chatty, but his spirits were dampened as well, especially with Rick's watchful eye and orders to keep quiet, so we don't attract attention.

Daryl went back to being silent, nothing new here, but I missed our conversations. The only time he said more than three words would be in the woods, but I couldn't go with him since I was ill for the past week. But he stayed with me.

For the first few days, when I was struck with a fever, he'd sit next to me, messing around with his crossbow. Occasionally he would gently touch my head to see if it got better, or he'd push lone hair strand away from my face. When I needed water, he always had some next to him, and when I had to go to the toilet, he'd help me walk, waiting for me patiently by the door.

I thought about what a young couple told me in the car. So when I approached T and Glenn, giving them cans to distribute, my eyes were discreetly searching for Daryl.

He sat down by the wall, next to Carl, who was cleaning his gun. When I glanced in their direction, barely lifting my head, I caught hunter's eyes. He was fidgeting with his bolt, but indeed his bright blue eyes were already on me. Trying to look casual, I smiled lightly at him and looked back to the food.

We ate what little food we had for today and had quiet conversations before Rick declared that it's time to go to sleep. In the morning we were going to the next town, hoping that we'll finally find something, anything.

I had the first watch, and the only light was coming from the moonlight, not really entering the small living room. We covered the windows with heavy drapes, whoever lived here before, had expensive decor taste. From my position, I was hidden, to not attract any walkers, but could still see the street.

The only sounds in the room where soft snores from T-Dog and Lori, it was peaceful. I looked around at the sleeping bodies of my family, feeling a sharp pull in my heart. We've been through so much together. Carl didn't deserve to grow up in a world like that, with a constant fear of death. None of them did.

And then there was unborn baby, innocent and utterly dependent on others for the first few years of its life. How are we going to keep it safe? And even if we do, the walkers, infection it will be all this baby will know. He or she won't know how it is to go to school and visit grandparents during the weekend. Won't now what cinema or movies are or restaurants. All babies born from now on will only know the cruelty and survival of the fittest, and it wasn't fair.

I sighed quietly, looking back where I supposed to. A few walkers were passing by, sniffing the air, shuffling their feet without a destination. They came from the direction we did, indeed this same group that kept following us for the past few weeks. Perhaps it was a constant roar of Daryl's bike, echoing for miles, making geeks not changing directions.

When the time for shift swap arrived, I silently moved around the room, waking up T-Dog. After I made sure that he actually was awake and stood up, I moved to the corner where Daryl was sleeping.

My eyes were used to the darkness, so I could see his form, spread on a floor. He was lying on his back, one arm on his belly and the other under his head. I could see the muscles of his biceps in this position, and the top buttons of his shirt were slightly opened, revealing short hairs on his chest. The hunter left space by the wall, as always, with a neatly folded blanket, waiting for me.

I tried to be quiet, but I knew that he would wake up once he'd feel me next to him. His instincts were always on high alert. So I wasn't surprised when I layed down, facing him, and met his eyes. I put one of my arms under my head and smiled gently at him.

"Just me," I whispered, shifting closer to him, covering both of us with a blanket he left. Daryl hummed in reply and moved to his side, his broad back, shielding us from T-Dog's view. He wrapped his arm around my middle, pulling me closer.

**Day 276**

Shit, shit, shit.

That was the only word crossing my mind while I tried to rack my brain how to get out of the fucked up position I was in now. Cold sweat was slowly dripping down my spine, breathing was labored, and my head was pounding.

But maybe I should trackback, to explain how I found myself at the wrong end of a rifle with unconscious Maggie next to me, on the floor.

The fucking town had no signs of other people whatsoever, as usual, we found a house, disposed of all two walkers trapped inside and set up a living room to sleep in. There was a small convenience store just around the corner. With how desperate we were for food, we had to check it. But because it was small enough, we didn't need the whole crew.

Maggie and I split up from the guys who were going to search the houses next to the shop. I watched how the young couple kissed, almost as if they won't see each other for months, not thirty minutes.

"Be careful, El," Daryl told me before we could walk away, making me smirk at him.

"Always, Big Boy."

We banged on the door, waiting for any walkers to pop up any minute, but all we heard was silence. I put the bow across my back, raising the machete when I pushed the door open.

"Stick together," I whispered to the woman behind me, and we moved forward. It was a tiny store, two aisles, only one register. I was hoping for some cigarettes, both Dixon and I were out for the past few days, and the cold turkey was not doing me any good.

The store seemed to be empty, with no walkers anywhere, which actually made me uneasy. I mean, there was not even a single body in here, shelves were only half empty, and the doors were opened.

"I'll get that aisle, you take the other," Maggie told me, and looked over my tensed form. "And get yourself some smokes, you're really on edge."

"Pff, fuck off. Get condoms. We don't need another baby from you and Glenn."

"Bitch."

"Ditto." I crossed the floor to the counter and searched the shelves behind it for anything. Cigarettes were gone, but I found two pouches of tobacco and some paper to roll one. Hopefully, Daryl knows how to do it; otherwise, it'll have to be a try and error.

I shivered slightly, feeling like someone's watching me, so I turned around, ready to tell Maggie off for not packing shit into the bags. But before I could say anything, something hard landed on the side of my head, and all I could see was complete darkness.

"Wake up, sunshine!" Something cold and wet dripped down my face, making me cough. When I tried to open my eyes, throbbing pain pierced my head, making me close them again. I groaned and attempted to move my arms up to touch the sore spot, only to realize that my hands were bound behind my back.

That automatically put me in alert, finally opening my eyes. I could see two dirty faces belonging to equally dirty men. Their clothes were ripped in many places, dried mud and blood was everywhere. One of them was pointing a rifle at my head, while the other tried to wake up Maggie.

"You hit her too hard," Guy number Two said, disappointment evident in his voice.

"We'll have to play with this one first," Commented number One, his face twisting into a wicked grin that made swallow hard. I moved my wrists, checking what they used, cursing when I discovered it was a rope. The knot seemed well made, tight, digging into my skin. I glanced down, noticing all my weapons gone, and then I looked over at the woman next to me. She had a cut on her forehead, still unconscious.

"Hello, sweetheart, what's your name?"

"Fuck you," I growled at One, gaining myself a smack to my face. The back of his hand sent my head to the side, where I could see my weapons and the radio. If only I could get to it.

"She's got fire. It will be fun." Two licked his lips, making me cringe. I had to figure something out, and quickly, otherwise, we are royally fucked. Possibly literally, and that's something I'll never allow to happen, especially not to Maggie.

"What you want?" I asked them, my voice was hoarse.

"Well, you, of course. And your friend when she wakes up."

"Watch the other one, I'll call you when I'm finished." One ordered, grabbing my arm, pulling me upwards. I knew I had to figure something out quickly but had to wait for my opening. So I let him lead me to the other aisle. When we were hidden, from his companion's view, he pushed me harshly to the floor. I landed on my side, and he was on me in seconds, twisting me onto my back. My hands were being crushed by the weight, but it was a better position for me if I was about to do something about this guy.

I flinched when his lips landed on my neck, his heavy breath following the trail, down to my breasts. His hands were grabbing at my stomach and lower, to the tights. I fought the tears that pooled in my eyes, I'd not give this prick a satisfaction. I won't show fear, a weakness. Daryl will realize soon that's something's wrong, and they will come.

One moved lower, his face hovering over my belly, and I knew that's the opening I was looking for. I moved my body up and sent a knee to his face, satisfied when I heard a familiar cracking sound. He winced in pain, but I didn't give him any time to react. Twisting my hips, I wrapped thighs around his neck, trapping his head. He tried to claw at me, but that just sent another adrenaline rush through my body. Pushing my hips up, supported by hands under me, I strengthened a grip on his head and twisted, breaking his neck in a swift motion.

I was panting heavily, praying that the other guy won't come around in the next few seconds. I sat up and wiggled my wrists, trying to loosen up the knot, just a little bit. Leaning on one hip and lifting up the other, I sneaked my bounded wrists under my ass, knees, finally my feet.

Sighing quietly in relief, I clenched my jaw and stood up. Looking down at the dead body next to me, I felt the anger flow over my body. But that will have to wait. I crept around the corner, looking for Two, noticing him bending over Maggie. No time like now. Silently sneaking upon him, I rose my arms to wrapped them around his neck.

But life isn't fucking easy. I stepped on something, making him spin around. Noticing he was without a weapon, I run at him, pushing his body onto the shelf behind, using my shoulder. He pushed me and hit me in the face, sending me backward. I could feel blood dripping down my face, tears blocking my vision.

"You bitch!" He kicked me, but I had time to curl up, cushioning the blow a little. Twisting, I moved my legs under him, tripping Two to the ground. He obviously wasn't expecting that, his head hitting the floor. Scrambling to my feet, I stranded his middle, sending my elbow to his chest in a quick motion. He cried out in pain and struggled to catch his breath.

They fucking cornered us, disarmed us, hit Maggie hard enough that she's still unconscious. Wanted to fucking rape us.

Growling with the anger, I grabbed the guy by his head, lifting it, only to smash it against the hard floor. I heard the cracking and Two screamed in pain. Lift, push down. Lift, push down.

"Eli," Maggie's scared voice came from behind, breaking me out of my bubble.

"Mags!" I got off the guy, crawling to her. She looked at me, my face, clothes, hands and then at the guy who layed on the ground.

"Is he-" She couldn't finish the sentence, but I nodded sharply, changing direction and going for my knives.

"Yeah, there's another one. He'll reanimate any minute." I got to our weapons and grabbed my hunting knife. I stood up and plunged the knife in Two's head, just for good measure.

"I don't think he had any brain left," Maggie said in a weak voice, attempting a joke.

"Well, you can never be sure." I walked around the corner, repeating the process on One. Strolling back to Maggie, I cut through my binds and did the same to hers. She touched her sore wrists and probed at her forehead.

"Are there more of them?"

"No, just those two pricks. Come on. Let's grab the shit we came for and get out off here."

"Did they- you know?" Maggie bit her lip, grabbing hold of my hands, squeezing gently, comforting. I blinked a few times to get rid of tears that threatened to pour down my cheeks.

"No. But they tried." I told her quietly, closing my eyes, trying to calm myself down. Her arms wrapped around my neck, into the hug, and we stayed like that for a moment. It was close, and she experienced for the first time how cruel other people can be.

"Come on, we need to move, Mags."

It took us two minutes to throw everything into a bag. Firstly because there wasn't too much left. Secondly, because we didn't really look at what we were packing.

"Rick, where are you?" I spoke to the radio when we stepped out of the store.

"Already back at the house. Question is, where the hell are you?" The sheriff sounded agitated when walkie-talkie crackled into life.

"Great, on our way. Five minutes." I replied, avoiding the question.

"They gonna be pissed," Maggie said, her eyes scanning the road for walkers or other living people. She was still shaken but tried to stay alarmed.

"Yeah, don't worry. I'll explain it." I told her, smiling reassuringly in her direction.

"Well, I literally missed all of it, so there ain't another option."

I smacked my lips at her sarcastic comment, but truthfully I was glad that she was unconscious. Who knows what the other guy would do to her. And my little self-defense lesson didn't include how to fight a rapist with your hands bound behind your back.

When we came to the house, I pushed Maggie forward. I suddenly realized that I am covered in blood, so I tried to wipe at least some of it from my face, but I think I just made it worse. Rick was the one to open the door, urging us inside.

"Where the hell have you been?" The sheriff asked, looking mainly at Maggie, I still tried to hide my appearance behind the taller woman.

"God, baby! Are you alright?" Glenn rushed to his girlfriend, hovering a hand over the cut on her head. He pulled her for a hug, showing my humble self to the rest of the group. Daryl jumped up from his seat on a sofa and got to me in three long strides.

"Is that blood?" The hunter asked me, his eyes looking over my bruised face, split lip, blue wife-beater that was half-covered in red liquid. The sleeve of my shirt was ripped, hanging off my shoulder.

"No?" I asked, in a slightly pitched voice, taking a step back from the man.

"That's not a question you're supposed to answer with another question," Rick commented, making me turn to him. I sighed and dropped the cocky attitude.

"Two guys in the shop. They had to be hiding, cause we didn't see them." I started, running a hand over my face, wincing a little when I touched the sore spot on my cheek.

"Do we need to go?"

"I don't know. I didn't really have time to chat." I told him dryly, sighing when he rose an eyebrow at me. "They hit us on the head. Maggie, a little harder, cause she didn't gain consciousness until it was over."

"But why are you all covered in blood?" Carl asked, fear in his voice. I wasn't sure it was for me or of me.

"Um, so- we had hands bound behind our back. One of them pulled me away when I woke up. He tried, well, you know." I looked Rick directly into the eyes, and he nodded sharply, clenching his jaw. "I stopped him. Then got into the fight with the other. And here we are."

"They dead?" Daryl growled in a low voice, I shifted to look properly in his eyes and nodded slowly. "Good."

"Let's get you cleaned up a little." Carol pulled me with her to the kitchen, Daryl right behind us. In the meantime, Rick was already organizing our departure. He didn't want to risk staying here any longer, just in case there were more of them. I didn't blame him, I just wished that our life would look different. Lori was so close to term, she could go into labor any moment, and having a baby on the road was a dangerous idea.

We needed to find something soon.


	34. Chapter 34

**Day 284**

Fresh air smacked my face and ruffled my loose hair. Now my curls floated around my face, with my arms wrapped around Daryl. I was glad that winter was over, now the hunter was back to his usual attire of sleeveless shirt and vest. Occasionally he still wore his ugly poncho, especially during the night, but now it was easier to feel strained muscles of his toned stomach. Of course, I couldn't really enjoy it as much as I wanted. I played mindlessly with one of his buttons while we lead our group towards the next destination.

We started to slow down, and Daryl grabbed my hand, making me realize what I was doing. I leaned in, so he could hear me.

"Sorry, didn't mean to."

He squeezed my hand and let go. "That one looks good," He pointed out to the house at the end of the street. It was the only one without broken windows.

Three walkers were lingering in front of us, and I straightened up, holding to Daryl's shoulder for support, pulling out my machete. When he got closer to the nearest geek, I swang my arm and slashed through its head.

Daryl stopped the bike, and I jumped off, jogging at the next walker and grabbing my machete tightly in both hands. Now I cut through the air and its brain, kicking the last one in a chest. It fall to the ground, but before I could bring down my blade, I heard a familiar clicking sound, and a second later, a bolt with green fletchings was sticking out of the walker's head.

"Hey! He was mine!" I moaned in Daryl's direction, pulling the bolt out and wiping it in geek's clothes. I walked back, glaring at the hunter. He was smirking at me, cocking his eyebrow.

"I'm sorry, princess. Thought ya need help."

"Oh, I need help, but not with killing," I told him sweetly when I was inches away from him, handing him the bolt. In the past two days, I tried to test him, to see how much shit I could say before he would cut me off. His brows furrowed, and it was my time to smile smugly at him.

"Pff, stop."

"Your loss, Big Boy," I replied, licking my lips.

"Can you stop flirting, Elena? We need to get out of the street." Rick said dryly, making Daryl blush. I rolled my eyes and walked over to the doors of our next potential house.

"Yes, dad."

I held up my machete, waiting for Rick to kick the door open. He burst through them, shooting one of the two walkers that were in the hall. He still preferred to use a gun in close quarters rather than a knife, so I officially gave him my Smith&Wesson with a silencer. The sheriff moved on to the left, letting T-Dog get the other walker. The Black man stabbed it with his poker, following Rick. Daryl went in next, going to the right and Carl went after his father. I jogged after the hunter, swiping through a small sitting room.

I let a low, short whistle and pointed to the closed door to the left. Daryl nodded at me, so I walked over, moving the blade to my left hand. With knees bent, I reached for the handle, and when I was about to push it open, someone pulled, making me yelp a little. I rose the machete up, but quickly realized it was Rick, pointing my own gun at my face.

I heard Dixon snicker behind me, and the sheriff himself lifted corners of his lips. I just scowled, muttering curses under my breath, pushing back, past Daryl toward the stairs. Before I could start climbing, he grabbed my shoulder and walked around me, going in first. I showed him a finger and heard T next to me, giggling quietly.

Fucking overprotective hillbilly.

Ever since that day in the store, he was always sure to go first. Like really, I couldn't open the door, without _'asking'_ for his fucking permission. There were only two rooms upstairs, both of them opened, messy. T-Dog walked into the one, while I followed Daryl to the one further down the corridor. He pushed the door, hinges making annoying squicky noise.

There were no walkers in there, but on a chair, sat a brown and white owl. It looked miserable, skinny with matted feathers. Daryl walked into the room, silently, to not spook the bird, and shot it right between the eyes.

I guess we have some sort of dinner. Sighing, I turned around and walked down the stair. Rick whistled, and moments later, the rest of the group came in with our small possessions. Only necessary bags with food and sleeping bags. Not that we had anything in the first one. Just some old granola bars and one pack of chips. The duffel with guns was hidden in Hyundai's trank alongside with my backpack. We didn't really change clothes often. Not anymore, no point really, there was no water to wash or clean our stuff. Did we stink? Probably, but after so much time, we just can't smell it anymore.

I took off my flannel and layed it on my lap, collecting the feathers that Daryl was plunging out of the dead bird. He sat on the chair while I kneeled down by his feet, catching feathers as they flew to the ground.

Glenn threw a granola bar in my direction, and I caught it quickly. I opened it and snapped it in half, passing one piece to Daryl, who bent down and put it straight into his mouth, not stopping assaulting the owl. I chewed on my half when Carl came back from the kitchen.

He kneeled down next to Beth, two cans in his hands. I sat straighter, excited that finally, after two days without something else than stale chips or protein bars, we will eat. Until the boy reached into the bag to get a can opener. He held up the metal tin, and even from that distance, I could see that it was dogs food.

I wish to say that I was surprised or disgusted. But I was just sad. Because it wouldn't be the first time in the last two weeks when we would be eating food for animals. It was sad 'cause Carl looked excited and proud of his finding.

I swallowed harshly, leaning my head on Daryl's leg, feathers flying around me, I bet I had some stuck in the hair. Rick noticed what his son was doing and walked over, picking up the can from the floor. Sheriff's face was tense, and he threw the tin into the wall, making it splash all over the floor.

At that sound, Daryl lifted his head and looked over at Rick, and then me, checking if everything is alright. I nodded and mouthed _'dog's'_ at him, knowing he would understand.

No one spoke, not anymore. The majority of the group didn't really want to anger our leader, and he thought it was better to stay quiet inside, to not attract more geeks. But he kept getting more and more paranoid. We wouldn't stop anywhere for longer than a day, sometimes moving a few times, even before we went to sleep. So we all were exhausted and on edge.

"Psst," T-Dog got our attention motioning at the window. Incoming. I scooped all the feathers I could and tied the shirt tightly once, and then attached it to my belt. Daryl moved to the back door, and we all followed, circling the house around to get to our vehicles. Daryl passed me his crossbow, and I quickly attached it behind me, then jumped right behind him, holding onto his middle.

After about ten miles, we stopped in the middle of some side road, when Rick honked his horn. It was the standard procedure by now, checking the map after a fiasco like that, see where else we could go, marking where the walkers came from.

Glenn spread the map on the hood of his car while Carl went to the front, looking out for walkers, Beth doing this same at the back.

"We got no place left to go," T-Dog stated, not even looking at the paper. But he was right.

"When this herd meets up with us, we'll be cut off." At the top of the map, Maggie pointed at the red spot, west of where we are now. "We'll never make it south."

"What ya say? It's about a hundred fifty head?" Daryl asked, looking in my direction, making me shake my head.

"More."

"And that was last week," Glenn added. "Could be twice that by now.

"This river could've delayed them. If we move fast, we might have a shot to tear right through there." Hershel started showing on the map what he meant.

"Yeah, but if this group joins with that one, they could spill out this way," T-Dog spoke in a grim voice, always the pessimist, recently.

"So we're blocked," Maggie announced and I looked closer at the map, searching for possible openings.

"The only thing to do is double back 27 and swing toward Greenville," Rick said, confidently, but I shook my head.

"We've been there."

"It's like we spent the winter going in circles," T added, and I could agree more. Even now, we were no more than fifteen miles from Greene's farm, maybe that's the option. To go and check on it, if we're lucky, no one looted it after we abandoned it.

"Yeah, I know," Rick said sternly, nodding his head. I shot T a warning glance, meaning to not poke a beast. "At Newnan, we'll push west. Haven't been through there yet. We can't keep going house to house. Need to find someplace to hold up for a few weeks."

"All right. Is it cool if we get to the creek before we head out? Won't take long. We gotta fill up on water."

"Knock yourself out."

I strode over to Daryl, tilting my head at him. "Hunting, Big Boy?"

"Yeah, let's take Rick."

"Right, he could do with relaxing a bit." At my comment, Dixon snorted quietly and walked over to catch the sheriff's attention.

"Hey, while the others wash their panties, let's go hunt." I chuckled at Daryl's invitation, and even something like a small smile crossed Rick's features. "That owl didn't exactly hit the spot."

"We didn't eat it yet," I reminded him, taking my bow and notching the arrow loosely. Dixon rolled his eyes and put a hand on my back, urging me forward.

I led our party of three through the woods for about five minutes when I spotted the rail tracks, they looked old, unused in years. I noticed a sudden movement on my right and spun on my heel, raising the bow and pulling the string. The arrow flew through the air, hitting perky squirrel in the neck.

Daryl grunted in approval and walked over to retrieve the dead animal while I pulled the rope from my backpack. When the hunter approached me, I tied squirrel up and swang it over my shoulder. I took an arrow back from Daryl's hand, notching it again.

All of this took maybe a minute, with us not even communicating out loud. When I turned around to follow the tracks again, I noticed Rick just standing there, watching our movements, his fingers playing with his beard.

"What?" I asked him, and he shrugged his shoulders.

"It's like you have a secret language."

"We've been huntin' for ten months together, bound to happen," Daryl replied and then motioned for me to start moving again.

We walked for another ten minutes, maybe, when we came across the small clearing on the right. At least I thought it to be minor, until I took a few more steps forward, seeing what was in that opened space.

I froze in my spot, observing, counting in my head. The massive building was clearly abandoned, walkers roaming the grounds aimlessly. But fences were high and doubled, a catwalk for prisoners was clear, no geeks in there. There were guard towers in the corners, maybe more, but I couldn't be sure without going in there. Why the fuck we didn't think of that kind of solution before is beyond me.

I felt a presence on both sides, Daryl, on the left, and Rick on the right. The hunter swung his crossbow over the shoulder and stared ahead at the vast building.

"That's a shame," He commented, and I shook my head. No, its a chance. I looked to my right, noticing Rick's expression. He was thinking deeply, his eyes roaming around, and there was something I hadn't seen in months when they landed on mine. Hope.

"Do you think what I'm thinking?" I asked him, a smile slowly spreading on my face. He nodded, returning a gesture.

"We park there." The sheriff pointed at the gates and then moved his hand along the fence in front of us. "We cut through there. As soon as we in, you run for that tower there, set up your sniper.

"Are ya two serious?" Daryl looked at us perplexed. I patted his chest gently and sent him a huge smile.

"Of course, Big Boy. Think about it. We clear it, and we're hidden behind fences and big brick walls. We have watchtowers, and are surrounded by woods, to hunt for game." He just grunted, still unsure how that's going to work.

But I was hopeful, that was it. Lori would go into the labor any day now, we had to risk it. And the fact that it was so full of walkers means that no other people tried it. Maybe they didn't know about that prison, or simply didn't want to risk it. No matter. It's ours now, or rather will be, very soon.

We ran for the fence, Rick first with the boltcutters, quickly working to make an opening while Daryl and I protected the others. We stood behind, watching the tree line for any walkers who could hear us. The rattling of chains told me that people started making their way through, and slowly I moved backward, firing one of the arrows at the geek who stumbled from the forest.

"Hurry. Elena!" Rick called for me, and I spun around, jogging towards him. I ducked in and walked through the hole, the sheriff quickly behind me. Daryl held the fence while Glenn pulled the red wire through the chains, mending it together.

I run forward, through the catwalk, my duffel heavy on my shoulder. I was excited, I didn't have a proper chance to use my Barrett M107 for ages, and my fingers inched to hold it again. I opened the door to the tower, raising my knife just in case there were any geeks in here, but luckily it was completely empty. I climbed the stairs and stood in a small squared room. There was a metal table in the corner, and I quickly pushed it into the middle, facing the courtyard and central part of the prison. I put the duffel on it and unzipped it taking out my sniper rifle and MP5.

The automatic layed on the side while I worked quickly on Barrett, securing the bipod in place, and pulling the back monopod, to ensure steadiness. I screw in the muzzle to the barrel, and finally, after checking that it's full, I loaded the magazine. I looked through the scope and adjusted the zoom on it.

I heard the footsteps on the stairs and looked over the shoulder to see Daryl and Carol. The hunter didn't really look at my set-up, but the woman widened her eyes at it.

"Stand in the corners, don't get in my view, please," I told them. I pushed the weapon to the edge of the table, so I could lean my upper body on it as much as possible.

They walked onto the balcony area, leaving the door open for me. I moved the rifle slowly, looking at the gate where the rest of the group was and noticed Rick running through it, Lori closing it quickly behind him. It's go time. Caressing the smooth cold metal and wrapping my finger around the trigger, I followed the sheriff with my aim and focused on walkers in front of him.

Taking steady breaths, shutting out the sounds around me, I pulled the trigger without hesitation, at the first geek. I shot again, at the one that was creeping behind Rick, blood splattering on his shirt. I looked further ahead when he was near the gate he needed to shut and aimed at the walker that tried to walk through it. Squeezing the trigger, I could see the male geek fall back, allowing Rick to close the gate in a swift motion.

He had to hide, so I moved the sniper slightly again, making a safe route for the sheriff to the nearest guard tower. I watched him open the door and disappear inside.

I jumped to my feet, grabbed MP5, and walked to the deck, standing between Carol and Daryl.

"He did it," The woman commented as if she doubted him before. I raised the automatic, waiting for Rick to emerge at the top. The few seconds felt like hours, making me hold my breath. He surely wouldn't get surprised by a geek inside, not after what we just went through.

I released my breath, laughing at laud when Rick finally appeared at the top. He really did it. We were one step closer, and excitement flooded my body.

"Light it up," Daryl shouted to the others, making everyone start shooting without the worry of hitting Rick. I joined the others with the butt of the gun pressed firmly to my shoulder and looking down the scope. The sounds of gunfire echoing around us, my MP5 the loudest. In a few minutes, all the geeks in the courtyard layed down on the grass, unmoving.

"We did it!" Carol was excited, hugging me tightly, once we put down the weapons. I hugged her back and then moved around to pack my guns away.

"What's it called?" Daryl asked me when I was unscrewing the pod from the sniper rifle.

"Barrett m107, custom scope," I replied and put it away into the duffel, zipping the bag shut and throwing it over my shoulder. "Shall we?"

We made a small fire, to cook the owl and squirrel, finally some meat. I sat down on top of the tipped vehicle, my legs carelessly swinging over the edge. Daryl was pacing behind me, on a bus, making it rock gently with his every step.

I found some lost, forgotten protein bar in my bag and was chewing on it slowly, thinking over where to go from now on. Taking the courtyard was a huge victory, but ideally, we needed to get inside. It was warmer now, but we couldn't deliver Lori's baby on a fucking grass. It would be good to find a map of the prison; they should be some in the warden offices. See where the armory is located.

If this place fell so early on, the cafeteria should still be fully stocked, and infirmary. Finding a generator room would be another step. Places like that should have a secondary system in case of power cut-offs, so if we're lucky, we could have some kind of electricity. Even if it'd be just enough to power up the showers. Fuck, I didn't even need hot water, just a shower head with steady pressure, to wash away the dirt.

"Ya thinkin' out laud again, El," Daryl spoke, pulling me away from my thoughts. I smiled at him apologetically, but he just smirked.

"Well, I really want a shower. Could be freezing cold, I don't care." I replied, making him shrug. Yeah, I don't think he cared about things like that, whether his clean or dirty, that didn't matter to the hunter.

Suddenly, a head with grey hair popped up, and Carol pushed to plates forward, trying to climb on. Daryl put his crossbow on his back and reached out to help the woman on.

"Hey, you," I said, smiling widely.

"I brought offerings," She joked, standing up and giving one dish to Dixon, the other to me. I accepted it with a soft nod, starting on mixed meat that was in the bowl. "That's not much, but if I don't give you two something, you won't eat at all."

"Yeah, I guess little Shane over there's got quite the appetite," Daryl spoke, picking food with his fingers and throwing it into his mouth. How could he still look attractive while doing something so uncivilized? Oh, yeah, cause he was walking, a modern example of a caveman, and apparently I dig it.

"Don't be mean." Carol scoffed at the hunter, but I could see that the comment made her laugh. I was more interested in his actions than what he was saying. "Rick's gotten us a lot further than I ever thought he would. I'll give him that."

"Hmm."

"Shane could never have done that."

I snorted and swallowed my food, wiping my mouth with a sleeve of my jacket. "Shane would take Carl and Lori when the farm fell and wouldn't even look back for the rest of us."

"We would still have you," She added, looking at me with her gentle eyes, but I shook my head.

"Have you seen me these past months? I'm not looking for trouble, I swear. But it seems like I can't get away." That made her laugh, and Daryl scrunched his face at the remainder of my troubles.

Carol rolled her shoulders back and moved the head to the sides, making Dixon look at her with curiosity.

"What's wrong?"

"It's the rifle. The kickback." She touched her shoulder, trying to ease the pain a little. I knew what she was talking about, I felt it too many times to count. But I was more interested in Daryl.

"Come on." He passed me his plate and motioned for Carol to turn around, facing away from him. He licked his fingers, my eyes lingering on his tongue as it wrapped around the skin. Well, that's an interesting turn of events. Daryl started pressing on the woman's shoulder, trying to get rid of knots in her muscles.

Eight months ago, I would probably feel a ping of jealousy, but now I knew better. Daryl cared for everyone in the group, but Carol became our third musketeer and sort of a mother figure. And I also recognized, by the way she tried to hold the laughter, that she will give him shit for that.

I wasn't wrong. Carol peeked over her shoulder, smirking at Daryl, making him slow down his actions first. Then reluctantly, he pulled away from her, furrowing his brows.

"Better get back," He stated shortly, a small blush creeping on his face. The woman looked at me and winked, making me look between the two amusingly.

"It's pretty romantic." Carol smacked her lips, looking Daryl over. "How 'bout threesome?"

I snorted, holding a hand to my mouth to cover the sounds, making the hunter glance over at me. His eyes were wide open, and he shifted uncomfortably.

"Pff. I'll go down first." He said, bending his knees to jump down. I leaned forward, batting my eyelashes at him.

"A man who knows foreplay. We found a gold mine, Carol."

"Stop," He growled at me. The gray-haired woman's laughs finally broke me, and I chuckled as well, twisting and grabbing the edge of the vehicle, lowering myself down.

Daryl helped Carol, and we made our way to the rest of the group. They were sitting around the fire, the spirits surely lifted-up, comparing to the last few weeks. As we got closer, we could hear Beth's soft voice as she sang.

_"Alas, it was to none but me.  
_

_And all I've done for want of whit,_

_To memory now, I can't recall._

_So fill to me the parting glass,_

_Goodnight and joy be with you all."_

She had a beautiful voice, soft, easily carrying the melody. It echoed gently through the courtyard, in far, I could see that even Rick started to walk over. Beth looked over at her sister, and when she began to sing again, Maggie joined her, surprising us even more.

_"Of all the comrades that e'er I had,  
_

_They are sorry for my going away._

_And of all the sweethearts that e'er I had,_

_They would wish me one more day to stay."_

Rick came around, taking a plate that Carl saved for him, but he held it up to Lori, not even looking in her direction. That's it. This is my chance to try to fix them. We finally are somewhere safe, hopefully, and I was going to try to help them get over the issues they had as a couple.

_"But since it falls unto my lot,  
_

_That I should rise and you should not._

_I gently rise, and I softly call,_

_Goodnight and joy be with you all._

_Goodnight and joy be with you all."_

"Beautiful," Hershel spoke after a moment of silence.

"Better all turn in," Rick said in a gruff voice, nodding towards where Daryl, Carol, and I just came from. "I'll take watch over there. We've got a big day tomorrow."

Some people looked at him like they didn't understand. But I knew what he meant.

"What do you mean?" Glenn asked him, while I sat down a little behind the young couple.

"Look, I know we're all exhausted. This was a great win. But we gotta push, just a little bit more. Most of the walkers are dressed as guards and prisoners. It looks like this place fell pretty early. Could mean the supplies may be intact." He looked over at me, and I nodded.

"There should be cafeteria and infirmary. Commissary, we would be safe behind the gates in one of the cellblocks." I spoke, finishing sheriff's thoughts.

"An armory?" Daryl asked, ah yes, that was something we need. Ammunition.

"That'd be outside the prison itself, but not too far away," Rick told him. "Warden's offices would have info on the location. Weapons, food, medicine, this place could be a gold mine."

"We're dangerously low on ammo." Hershel interrupted, pointing out the issue with the plan. "We'll run out before we make a dent."

"Well, that's why we have to go in there. Hand to hand. After all we've been through, we can handle it, I know it. These assholes don't stand a chance." Rick tried to cheer us up, and then after a final glance at our faces, he stood up to take a watch. Lori quickly followed him, and I sighed, knowing that she probably won't have a lot of luck with her husband.

I grabbed my blanket and adjusted the backpack to use it as a pillow. I layed down, covering myself and waiting for Daryl to get under, next to me.

I fell asleep quicker than usual, with a firm and warm body pressed to my back, feeling safe and hopeful for our future.


	35. Chapter 35

**Day 285**

I woke up the next morning, just as the sun was rising up. I moved onto my back and stretched out, forgetting that Daryl was right beside me until I stroke him with my elbow in the head. He flinched and pried open his eyes, letting a low growl of pain escape his lips.

"Shit, I'm sorry," I apologized immediately, moving to my side, touching the spot on his head gently, but he swatted my hand away.

"Hell, what the fuck, woman?" He crocked in his morning voice, which made me shiver a little bit and wet my lips. I propped my head on the arm and bit my cheek.

"I'm sorry, Big Boy."

"I knew ya'll kill me in sleep one day," He joked, smirking slightly and jawning.

I looked around, noticing that the rest of the group was still sleeping. Daryl put his arms under the head and glanced at me, his eyes roaming my face.

"I guess there's no way to convince ya to stay behind today?" He asked me, nibbling at his bottom lip.

"No can do, Dixon."

"Can ya try to stay by me?"

I cocked my head, gently touching his cheek for a second, and a soft smile crossed my face when he didn't pull away from me.

"You can't get rid of me, Daryl."

He grunted in reply and sat up with a small sigh escaping his lips. I watched him stand up and walk away, to the fence, to relieve himself. I buried my face in the backpack, and after the second, I searched for a notebook. I took it out and opened it on the last used page. I marked another passing day. As a day that we move inside the prison, and hopefully, our lives improved.

"Ready?" Hershel asked us. We stood by the gate that Rick shut yesterday. I left my bow with Carol, and now had a firm grip on a machete. The sheriff looked over his shoulder, checking on us and then unclipped the carabiner and opened the gate. T-Dog rushed through it first, quickly followed by the rest of us. I was between T and Daryl, and I swiftly stabbed the next walker in the head when he approached us.

We formed a circle, so there was no side uncovered while we were crossing the courtyard.

"Get tight!" Glenn yelled while we moved forward, slashing and stabbing at upcoming walkers. The remaining group members were shouting and rattling at the chain-linked fence, to get the attention of as many geeks as possible to make it easier for us.

I slashed off the walkers' brains, blood splatters landing on my face and clothes, but there was still more coming. We had to get to another gate that led to the second courtyard. Then we would have the main prison grounds and access to the cellblocks. That was the goal for today.

We moved in unison until T-Dog spotted something on the ground, to our left, and he took off.

"Don't brake rank!" Rick growled at the black man, but that didn't stop him.

"We need that," T replied and reached for clear riot shield, pushing an approaching walker with it, Maggie ran to him and stabbed the geek. We got to the doors leading inside, but we had to be sure that the fence is secured first, so Rick just checked the door, and pressed forward, rounding the corner.

There were many walkers on the other side, and the gate was open so they could get to us at any moment unless we deal with that. But that wasn't the biggest problem. Four geeks, in full riot armor and helmets, were coming right at us.

"Rick, we need to get the gate!" I told the sheriff urgently, and he nodded at me, while Daryl sent a bolt at riot walker, making it bounce off.

"Really?" I asked him sarcastically, did he really think it'd work? I pushed forward to the two by the further wall kicking at the first walker. It stumbled back and fell down, on top of the other. I quickly lifted the helmet's shield and stabbed the geek in the eye. Rolling him of the second walker, I repeated the process. I wiped my sweaty forehead and turned around to see the rest banging at the helmets and Rick pushing at towards the gate, calling out for Daryl.

"Under the helmets!" I yelled, catching the attention of Maggie, who struggled with the armored geek. Rick managed to shut the gate and lock it with carabiners, but I was focused on the woman who was getting surrounded.

I ran towards her, but by the time I got there, she already managed to stab the dead one under the chin, into an exposed part of its skin. T and Glenn quickly did the same with the last one, leaving only a walker who wore a clear gas mask. Rick kicked that one in the knees, sending it to the ground and pulled off the cover. The walker's skin peeled off along with the plastic, leaving exposed jaw and muscle lines; milky eyeballs now exposed gave it even more disgusting view.

I patted Rick on the shoulder, and moved towards the gate, watching geeks gathered on the other side. Glenn and Maggie wanted to go and get the rest of the group, but sheriff stopped them.

"Well, it looks secure," The Asian man commented, look of confusion on his face.

"Not from the look of that courtyard over there." Daryl pointed at where I stood, and then to the ground. "And that's a civilian."

"So the interior could be overrun from walkers from outside the prison," T stated, smacking his lips.

"Well, if there's walls down, what are we gonna do? We can't rebuild this whole place." Glenn asked.

"Maybe that walker was visiting someone, while everything happened?" I told the rest. "We won't know until we check."

"Right now, we can't risk a blind spot. This gate is shut. We push in into the cell blocks." Rick ordered and walked towards the chained walkway, leading to cellblock C. When Daryl slide the door open, we slowly walked in. Rick pushed the first gate open; we all walked down the stairs to the common area. It was messy, with rubish and disregarded trays all over the floor, some towels and sheets were hanging from the railing.

I made my way towards the guard tower, silently climbing up with my blade ready, but the only body I saw inside had its brain shot with a gun still in man's cold hands. I took the weapon from the deceased guard's grasp and put it in my belt. I noticed a set of keys on the desk and quickly grabbed it. There was a second set on his belt, and I took that too, showing them to Rick and Daryl, who waited by the gate leading to the cells.

I passed both sets to the sheriff, and he used one to open the entrance to our new home. At first glance, it was empty, some bottom cells open, but I followed Daryl, who walked towards the stairs while the others checked this floor.

He let me go first, and I turned left to the closed cells, putting machete into my left hand; I grabbed a hunting knife out of the holster on my thigh. Slowly, I crept forward when I heard clattering in one of the cells. I stayed closer to the railing once the hands of a walker started to reach from behind bars, walking to the last cell, which was empty.

Daryl and Rick quickly killed two geeks in remaining rooms and sheriff pasted the spare set of keys to the hunter.

While Maggie and Glenn went to get the rest of our people, Daryl unlocked the cells, and together we pulled the bodies out, lifting them out and throwing them over the railing. Down there, T-Dog waited to get the corpses out of the cellblock to the courtyard.

"What do you think?" Rick asked, walking down the stairs when the others walked in, carrying our things. I climbed down the stairs to get my gear from Hershel, taking Dixon's pack at this same time. Carol sent me a knowing smile and a wink, making me roll my eyes. I was just going to drop it off with him, nothing more.

"Home, sweet home," Glenn commented, going into one of the bottom cells. Lori looked around her, softly caressing her swollen belly.

"For the time being."

"It's secure?" Carol asked, making me sigh gently.

"For now. This cellblock is. But we'll have to gradually swipe through the rest." I told her.

"Yeah, in the morning, we'll find a cafeteria and infirmary," Rick added. He looked so much more confident, almost like a man I met all these months ago in the quarry.

"We sleep in the cells?" Beth asked, making me giggle a little.

"Better than the cold floor."

"Found keys on some guard. Daryl has a set, too." Rick stated, so everyone would know who to speak to if we want to leave the cellblock. For now, we'll keep it locked, so we can't be surprised during sleep.

"I ain't sleepin' in no cage," Daryl huffed. "I'll take the perch."

Well, I guess here it goes my routine. But I understood where Daryl was coming from, he would feel trapped. Besides, in the open space of a perch, he had a better view at the entrance and a better chance of escape if something happened. I sighed under my breath and climbed the stairs, dropping Daryl's bag on the top and walked into the cell from which I could still see him. Maybe that would be enough. It had to be.

There was a bunked bed, simple sink with a tiny shelf above it, and toilet in the corner. Some blood splatters covered the floor, making me wonder what exactly happened here. How did they get to the point where everyone inside just turned? If, in fact, there aren't any other survivors, this prison will be a bitch to clear. Especially without a power, corridors won't have windows, so it's going to be dark as hell.

"Cosy?" Carol asked me, passing by my cell, leading Lori to another one, where both of them could sleep.

"Bedroom and bathroom in one room. Luxury," I said dryly, making her laugh and disappear further down the landing.

I threw my bag on the top bunk alongside with machete and spare gun I found today. I undid the holster belt, taking it off and putting it next to the other items. I unclasped my reins, pushing it off my shoulders, holding onto one of the knives before placing the rest on the top bunk.

I looked down at myself, my hands were covered in blood, and so was my front. It didn't matter at the moment, though. We finally had a chance to sleep without worrying. At least for a little while. It was still early, but we all were tired, not sleeping much in the past few days, stressing, being always in a fight or flight mode.

"Ya got yurself a fancy cell?" I heard a hoarse voice behind me, and I slowly turned around to face Daryl.

"Even got my own fucking toilet. I may need some painting or something to make it cozier." Dixon snorted at my sarcastic remark, smirking at me.

"Tired of me?"

That question, coming from him, actually surprised me, and I think it showed because he automatically grew more serious.

"I thought, you may be tired of me," I told him quietly.

"Nah, but I get it. Sleep well, El." After that, he turned around and plunged himself on a mattress he must've pulled from one of the other cells. I furrowed my brows, not sure if I understood what just happened. Looking around the small cell, I made a quick decision.

Grabbing my knife, a flat pillow, and a blanket, I walked out towards Daryl. I threw the cushion next to his head, making him open one eye and smirk with a corner of his lips.

"What 'bout yur fancy room?"

"Hm, it can serve as our storage, move," I told him and layed down next to him when he made a space. Daryl stretched one of his hands, so I put my head on his shoulder, wrapping one hand around his middle.

"Plus, I don't think I can sleep without your snores anymore." I teased him, and his fingers dug deeper into my hip.

"Shut up, woman."

**Day 286**

I searched through a small office in the common area, just moments ago I pushed the body of dead guard out. T-Dog then took it outside where we were collecting the corpses, in one spot.

I was searching for some sort of map of the prison. There was one framed and fallen down on the floor with a gloss smashed all over the floor. I pulled the paper out, careful to not cut it or myself in process. There wasn't much more in here, I believe that we would have to find main offices to find out where the armory is located. According to this map, the administrative part was on the other side, next to cellblock A. It could take us days to even get there.

I walked outside to find T and Rick searching the guard's bodies. They had an empty duffel with them, loading possible weapons in it, but that's not what I was interested in.

"What about the gear?" I asked Rick, catching his attention. He looked between me and the bodies on the ground.

"Not a bad idea."

"It could give us extra protection," T-Dog added and started working on one of the guards, while I moved to the other.

The process of stripping walkers of their riot gear was long and disgusting. In places, it was peeling off the skin from their bones, sticky almost boiled, from exposure to Georgia's sun. It made me gag a couple of times before my nose and brain got used to the horrid stench.

"Not bad," Daryl commented once he saw the bag on the table in the common area.

"Flash banks, CS Triple-Chasers," Rick stated what we found outside, alongside with some side guns and riot batons. "I'm not sure how they'd work on walkers, but we'll take them."

Daryl picked up a helmet, which was still full of walkers goo. "I ain't wearing this shit."

"We could boil them," T stated.

"There ain't enough firewood in the whole forest, no."

"Chest pieces are better, they wore clothes," I told them, for a moment I even considered putting one on, but then I wouldn't be able to get my throwing knives. And they go where I go. But those batons - I picked up two, extending them simultaneously, rotating my wrists and weighing them. Not too heavy, but not necessarily the best solution in close quarters. I spun around, twisting one arm, the other following movements of my body. Maybe if I could somehow sharpen the ends, they actually could be useful.

Rick cleared his throat, and I stopped, dropping my hands down, gingerly glancing back at the other people in the room.

"Havin' fun, princess?" Daryl cocked his eyebrow, but I could see how he shifted his stance, and looking into his eyes, I saw his pupils dilated. Interesting.

"Is there any weapon that you don't know how to use?" Hershel asked me, narrowing his eyes at me.

"Um, explosives?" I said in a small voice, putting the batons back onto the table.

"That's not what ya told me when ya nearly blew us up!" Daryl crossed his arms, glaring at me.

"Actually, I said I know what I'm doing, not that I'm good at it."

Daryl looked like he wanted to reply, but Carol came into the room, calling out for Hershel.

"Everything alright?" The sheriff asked her, and she nodded, but her lips were pressed tightly, and she stood way too stiffly.

"Yeah, nothing to worry about."

Rick looked after her, unconvinced, and then glanced at me.

"Did she lie?"

"I'm sure that it's nothing, Rick," I told him gently, avoiding his question. "If something would be wrong, they'd tell us."

It took us another hour to actually move out. I had a machete in one hand and the flashlight in the other. Glenn had some old spray paint can, and he was marking the direction we came from. It was easy to get lost in the darkness and unknown corridors.

Carl wanted to go with us, but Rick convinced him to stay, look after the group in our absence. Instead, we took Hershel. I wasn't sure if it was such a good idea, but he insisted. Said that when we found infirmary, he'll know best what we need.

The corridors were dark, the only light coming from our torches as we moved slowly, deeper into the prison. There were bodies on the ground, shot down, guards probably tried to control what's happening before it was too late.

We came across another set of cells, all of them open, corpses spread on the floor, some of them half-eaten. We checked each room, one by one. Walking further, we came into the end of the corridor; we could either go left or right. The right was a dead end, so we turned left, following behind Rick and Daryl.

The sheriff rounded the next corner, and I could hear groans but couldn't see from where I stood.

"Go back! Go back!" Rick whisper-yelled, making us turn around, following the arrows that Glenn painted on the walls. But when the young couple reached the corner we came from, another group of walkers appeared. My heart was beating faster, while we jogged into the unknown direction. We ran the corridors, deeper into the prison, T-Dog pushing me forward, so I don't get lost.

Finally, Rick urged us in some office, and we all crouched down, hiding from the geeks that were following us. I was panting heavily, listening, and waiting for them to pass.

"Where's Glenn and Maggie?" Rick asked after we realized that they not with us.

"They must've been cut off," I told him, peeking through the glass window, checking how many more walkers waited outside.

"We have to go back," Hershel stated, worried for his daughter.

"Which way?" Daryl asked, looking at the old man.

"Where we came from, to the right. They were behind me." I said, noticing that there was just one geek left, lingering behind. Rick nodded, trusting my sense of direction. He stood up and gently opened the door, turning right immediately, leading us back to hopefully where the young couple was.

I followed behind the hunter, Hershel, and T behind me.

"Maggie!" Hershel kept calling his child in a hushed voice, but we still didn't see them. We came to a crossroads, but it was empty, no walkers, no signs of two people we were missing. Rick pushed forwards, calling out for Glenn.

"Mag?" I heard Hershel whisper behind me, but I didn't realize that he turned back. None of us did, not until we heard screams of pain, making us spin around and ran back. My heart was racing, sweat slowly dripping down my spine. All anticipation, constant watch for walkers, Glenn and Maggie missing. I was on edge, and that yell for help kicked my adrenaline into a higher level.

I pushed past T, and when I came from around the corner, I saw Hershel lying down on the ground. The walker that was sitting, propped against the wall, had a death grip on man's ankle, biting down on it. Not hesitating for a second, I swung my machete, slashing through the air and walker's brain.

"Hershel!" I got to him, checking where the bite was, hearing Rick and others behind me. Glenn and Maggie popped out from in front of me, finally finding their way back.

"No!" The woman sobbed, crouching down next to her father, tears slowly rolling down her face.

Rick and Glenn helped Hershel stand up when we saw walkers making their way to us. From both directions.

"This way!" Sheriff ordered, pointing at the empty part of the corridor, Maggie was leading the way. At the same time, Daryl and I watched the back, my blade high, ready to stab whoever comes at us.

We found some locked doors at the end of the corridor, and T quickly rushed forward, using his fire poker to snap the chain.

"Go, go!" Everyone was shouting, and Daryl pushed me in front of him to let me go first.

"Shut the door!"

Once Dixon was inside the room, he and T-Dog pushed the door closed, leaning on them, stopping walkers from breaking in.

"T, your poker!" I told him, making him nod sharply. I watched him lodge the rod between metal handles, so the doors won't open. When I was happy with the entrance, I turned around to the rest of our group.

Hershel layed down on the floor, pale and shaking from blood loss and pain. Maggie was next to him, holding his hand sobbing quietly, trying to tell him that everything will be alright.

"We need to cut it!" I told Rick, making him look me in the eyes, but I wasn't bothered. I reached out and cut through the fabric of Hershel's trousers, so I could see the wound.

"You sure?"

"Fuck knows, but it's either we try that, or he's dead," I told him sternly. After a second, he nodded, clenching his jaw.

"Hold him down!" Rick ordered, unfastening his belt. Maggie pulled her father onto her lap, caressing his hair gently while Glenn, next to her, was holding man's hands. I pushed my hands onto Hershel's bleeding leg, holding it still, and Daryl did this same with the other, so the man couldn't move.

I looked over at Hershel feeling a stinging pain in my heart at his misery. "I'm so sorry. It's the only way."

He didn't say anything, just took another sharp breath, moaning in pain. Rick wrapped the belt above Hershel's wound tightly and secured it.

"We have to try," Rick stated firmly, picking up his clean hatchet and, without hesitation, brought it down onto Hershel's legs.

I closed my eyes, pushing the old man's leg down when he flinched and screamed in pain. I took a deep breath and opened them back up, while Rick took another swing, breaking through the bone.

It took about seven hits to severe Hershel's leg, the man passed out after the third one, from shock and pain. Rick stood up and dropped his ax, shocked at what he's done.

"He's going to bleed out!" I said and quickly shrugged off my flannel, exposing my knives. I folded the shirt tightly around the leg, but it soaked so almost immediately. In the corner of my eye, I could see Daryl, and his expression changed from worried to the one on edge.

"Duck," He breathed out, merely a whisper. Trusting his instincts, both Rick and I leaned forward, covering Hershel.

Daryl stood up in swift motion, pointing his crossbow at something behind us, and when I peeked above my shoulder, I saw what got him so alarmed.

Five men, all in prisoner uniforms, stood behind the kitchen cage, staring at us in disbelief.

"Holy shit."


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey guys, just quick update to anyone who's reading. As lockdown in the UK is being eased off, I'm going back to work on Thursday. I work full-time and am out of the house for good 12 hours 5 days a week. So after today's chapter I'll post again on Sunday and then update weekly every Sunday. Hope you understand and that you all still staying safe and cautious.

"Holy shit," One of the inmates said. Yep, they were very alive, stuck in the cafeteria. Well, at least we found what we came looking for, I guess. But right now, Hershel was lying down on the ground, bleeding out.

"Elena," Rick whispered to me, motioning at the prisoners. I took out my gun and stood next to Daryl, who had already walked around to have a better shot at those people.

"Who the hell are ya?" The hunter asked.

"Who the hell are you?" One of them, Spanish looking man, answered.

"He's bleeding out." I heard Rick behind me, but my focus was on aiming a gun at the potential threat.

"We have to go back."

"Put pressure on a knee."

I crept forward, my Glock up, while I spoke calmly. "Get out of there, slowly. Arms up."

"What happened to him?" The Latino asked when they slowly came around from behind the cage. His eyes were trained on unconscious Hershel.

"He got bit," Daryl answered them, not lowering his crossbow.

"Yeah, bit. What planet you live on?" I asked them, watching their confused faces. They came closer, and I heard T standing next to me, his gun cocked and aimed in their general direction.

"Whoa, easy now," Daryl told them, shifting his stance slightly, when Latino took out his own gun, moving his hand between us, not sure who to point it at.

"You have medical supplies?" Glenn asked, walking past us, further into the kitchen, completely ignoring the fact that we don't know these people. Or that he walked between four loaded guns.

"Glenn!" I hissed after him, but he ignored me, looking for anything that may help.

"Whoa, where do you think you're going?" The big Black man asked, but he as well was ignored.

"Who the hell are you people, anyway?" The Latino asked, looking at us. Alrighty, so he seemed like a leader, so I spoke directly to him.

"Look, no need for all of this. We going to leave." He glanced at me, and then his eyes traveled up and down my body, making me feel uneasy. Why do men always think about that when they meet a woman?

"You don't look like a rescue team." Short white guy with the hideous mustache said.

"If a rescue team is what you're waiting for, don't," Rick grunted from behind me, lifting up Hershel, putting him in sitting position.

"Elevate his leg, so the blood goes to his heart," I ordered and saw Maggie doing it immediately.

"Come on, we gotta go!" Rick stated, and Glenn came running with a wheely table, to put Hershel on. While they loaded the man on it, I motioned at T-Dog, and we walked towards the door. With Glock in my right hand and machete in the left, I observed the entrance, waiting for Rick and others.

"T, the door!" The sheriff yelled, and the Black man moved to the door, looking over at me, silently asking if I was ready.

"Are you crazy?" One of the prisoners asked, and I sent him a wicked smile. Adrenaline was pumping through my veins, and I cracked my neck, to release the tension.

"Open it, T!"

T-Dog pulled his poker out, and seconds later first walker, in riot gear, pushed past the door. T pushed him and stuck his weapon under its chin. I shot down the next two geeks and kicked the third, pushing him out of the room.

"Go, go!" I cried out, moving out of the doors and slashing at the walker's head.

"Which way, Elena?" Now that I knew that we were in the cafeteria, it was easy to recall in my mind the small map I found.

"This way!"

I led us back into our cellblock. Now, that time was of the essence, we didn't care about being quiet. Running down the corridors, I shot at the few walkers that stumbled in our way. After a few more halls, we finally got to the one we recognized with white arrows, pointing towards cellblock C.

"Stop, stop." I heard Rick behind me, and I glanced back to see the shadows on the wall where we came from. Those pricks were following us.

"Come on, let's go, we're nearly there," I whisper-yelled at them, and they started to push the table again. We jogged forward, and when we finally got to the gate leading to the common area, Daryl pushed past the others, unlocking the gate. I went in first, running forward.

"Carl!" I shouted, trying to get the boy's attention. "Carl, open the gate!"

"Carl, open it! It's Hershel!" Rick yelled as well, and I saw Carol and Lori's worried faces while the kid stuck the key into the lock. I let them pull Hershel inside, and T shut the gate behind them.

"Stay here, just in case," I told him lowly and rushed back to Daryl.

The hunter dropped the keys on one of the tables and loaded his crossbow. I ejected my clip, five bullets left. I sighed and put the magazine back, chambering one in and reached for throwing knife, so I had a ranged weapon in each hand. Daryl propped his leg on one of the chairs, aiming at the entrance.

I stood next to him, my legs spread, my hands gripping my Glock and knife tightly. We waited, footsteps echoing from the depths of the prison getting louder with each passing second. I breathed in and out, slowing down my heart rate, putting a blank expression on my face.

Finally, slowly, the Latino got out of the shadows, stepping into the main room. One at the time, five inmates came in, allowing me to really look at them, now that we got Hershel back.

The Latino looked sketchy, thin mustache on his face, and shoulder-length hair slung out of his face. The next one was a short Black dude and then the Big, also dark-skinned. The white guy with a mustache out of the old western movies and a medium-sized Black man. We could take them if shove comes to push.

"That's far enough," Daryl stated in a gruff voice.

"Cellblock C. Cell four, that's mine, gringo. Let me in." The Latino grunted, coming further into the room. Yeah, he definitely acted like a leader of these bunch.

"Today's yur lucky day, fellas. Ya've been pardoned by the state of Georgia. Ya're free to go." If we wouldn't be in a potentially hostile situation, I'd laugh at Daryl's comment. I loved his dry, sarcastic sense of humor.

"Whatcha got going on in there?"

"None of your business, that's what," I answered coldly, aiming at his head.

"Don't tell me what's my business, puta," The Latino growled at me, taking his gun from the front of his pants. I straightened my back, moving my finger towards the trigger.

"I'll shoot you before you're able to say 'freedom'," I told him, raising my eyebrow, observing his movements. He acted like a gang member, cocky and arrogant, thinking that he's some kind of bad boy.

"Chill, man." The Big guy said gently, trying to defuse the situation. "Dude's leg's messed up. Besides, we're free now. Why we still here?

"Man's got a point," Daryl told them, and I nodded in agreement. From what I could say about their body language, only Latino and small Black guy were posing any danger. For some reason, they were adamant about following us, and now trying to go back inside the cells.

"Yeah, and I gotta check on my old lady," The medium-sized guy added. I furrowed my brows and glanced at Daryl. It seems like those guys had no clue what's happening outside of the prison. At all.

"Group of civilians breaking into a prison you've got no business being in, got me thinking there ain't no place for us to go," Latino said, smirking in my direction.

"Why don't you go find out?" Daryl leaned more on his leg, clenching his jaw.

"Maybe we'll just be going now," The Mustache started slowly, looking between Dixon and me.

"That'd be the smartest decision of your life," I told him, but my eyes were trained on the Spanish man.

"Hey, we ain't leaving," He answered and licked his lips, looking down at my chest.

"And you sure as hell not coming in, so we're at an impasse, puto." I hissed at him, shifting my position with my Glock steadily pointing at his head.

"Listen to the lady!" T-Dog came in, cocking his gun, and standing on the other side of me. That made Latino move his arm, aiming at T now, his eyes scanning our faces.

"It is my house, my rules."

"Listen, dickhead. It's not your house. You have one gun. What you think you'll achieve? Cause you shoot one of us, you going to be dead in seconds. Do you want to die?" I tilted my head, but he seemed so full of himself that he basically ignored me.

"I go where I damn well please, bitch."

"Call her that one more time, I dare ya," Daryl growled beside me.

"There's nothing here for you, just get out," I told them sternly, trying to put some sense in their heads.

"We're not going anywhere. You broke into our home. How about you leave, puta?"

"Ain't happenin'. I ain't gonna tell ya again!"

"Or what, Robin Hood?"

I huffed and stepped closer to the Latino, blood boiling under my skin. "You have exactly ten seconds to get out of here before I shoot you. I didn't kill anyone this week, and I'm all sorts of itchy."

"You think you can intimidate me?" He laughed at me, glancing back at his fellow prisoners.

"Ten," I started counting.

"Maybe we should just go, Tomas." The Big guy said. So the dickhead's name was Tomas, good to know.

"Nine."

"We ain't going. It's our prison, not those pricks."

"Eight."

"Look, Ma'am, we don't want no trouble, please," Mustache stated, raising his arms in surrender.

"Seven."

"She ain't gonna shoot us."

"Six."

"Enough!" Rick's voice echoed in the room, making me stop counting, but I was still pointing at Tomas, ready in case he would make any sudden movements. Or anything that would just give me an excuse to kill him, really.

"Everyone relax. There's no need for this." Rick said in a calm voice, I could feel his presence behind me, so I moved slightly towards Daryl, so the sheriff could see the prisoners properly.

"How many of you in there?" Tomas asked, trying to peek through the gate to see the rest of our group.

"Too many for you to handle."

"You guys rob a bank or something? Why don't you take him to a hospital?"

"They don't know, Rick," I said as a realization dawned on me. There were handcuffs on the cafeteria doors, so they were locked in there. They had only one gun and no other weapons of any sort. With how infested the prison corridors are, it seems like they were locked in there since the beginning. Rick looked me in the eye before averting his eyes back to the men in front of us.

"How long have you been locked in that cafeteria?" The sheriff asked them in a calmer tone.

"Going on like ten months," Tomas answered, looking between us, shifting in his spot.

"Riot broke out. Never seen anything like it." The Big guy said, shaking his head at the memory. I glanced at Daryl, his bright blue eyes catching mine for a second. That's how it started, then.

"Attica on speed, man," Mustache stated, making me release a loud sigh. They were like children kept in the dark. They had no fucking clue what happened in the last ten months, and we were about to break their bubble.

"Ever heard about dudes going cannibal, dying, coming back to life?" The small guy asked, looking at us for answers. I snorted and nodded.

"One guard looked out for us, locked us up in the cafeteria, told us to sit tight, threw me his piece, said he'll be back," Tomas added to the story.

"Yeah, and that was two hundred ninety-two days ago."

"Ninty-four, according to my-"

"Shut up!" Latino hissed at the inmates.

"We've been thinking that the army or the national guard should be showing up any day now." The medium-sized man said, not intimidated by Tomas, he seemed like a reasonable guy.

"There is no army," Rick finally told them slowly.

"What do you mean?"

"No army, no police, no government. No phones, internet. Civilization collapsed. The world you knew is dead." I told them, lowering my gun slowly and putting away the knife back into reins. They were scared, haven't seen other living people in months. They were no treat, besides Tomas.

"For real?" Mustache asked, fear crossing his face.

"Yeah, for real."

"What about my moms?" The Big guy asked, and I felt a pang of pity towards him and the others. But they weren't the only people who never had a chance to say goodbye to the loved ones.

"And my kids. And my old lady." The medium-sized man whispered to himself, then he moved forward, determination on his face. "You sure phones don't work? Do you have any? Can I check?"

"No phones, no computers," Rick said, shaking his head. "As far as we can see, at least half the population's been wiped out, probably more."

Their faces dropped, realization dawning on them, Tomas slowly lowered his gun, looking at us in shock.

"Ain't no way."

"Come, see," I said gently, grabbing Daryl's keys from the table and moved towards the door, leading out of the cellblock. I opened them and climbed down the stairs, the sun hitting my skin, making me squint my eyes for a second.

I waited for the men to catch up with me, Rick, Daryl, and T-Dog behind them.

"Welcome to the apocalypse, guys." That made them flinch, glancing at each other. They were scared, new to this world.

Dixon stopped next to me, our arms touching lightly, comforting.

"Good lord. They're all dead." Mustache said, looking around on the scattered corpses. That couldn't be easy for them, they probably knew most of them.

"Never thought I'd be happy to see these fences," Tomas said, looking around and lifting his face to the sun.

"You never said, how the hell did you get in here in the first place," The small black dude asked us, looking at Daryl and me.

"Cut a hole in that fence over there by the guard tower." The hunter replied, pointing at the space far ahead.

"That easy, huh?"

"Where there's a will, there's a way."

"Easy for you to say,"

"It's not easy," I stated, staring the short guy down. "But we lived out there for ten fucking months. You learn how to cope and what you need to do."

"So, what is this, like a disease?" The Big guy asked, poking one of the dead walkers with a stick.

"Yeah," Rick answered. "And we're all infected."

"What do you mean infected? Like AIDS, or something?" Mustache asked, and I snorted, man, they are dumb.

"If I was to kill ya, shoot an arrow in yur chest, ya'd come back as one of these things," Daryl was the one to answer, and Tomas scoffed, shaking his head.

"Ain't no way this Robin Hood cat's responsible for killing all these freaks."

"A group effort," I replied, shrugging as if it was nothing.

"Must be fifty bodies out here."

"Where'd you come from?" Tomas asked, looking at Rick. This guy really put my body on edge, he was unpredictable, and that's never a good sign.

"Atlanta," The Sheriff replied, looking down at his hands.

"Where you headed?"

"For now, nowhere." Rick lifted his head and took a few steps towards the Latino. I rested my hand on my gun that I stored into the holster. The familiar sense of cold metal under my fingertips calmed me down a little bit.

"I guess you could take that area there near the water. Should be comfortable." Tomas pointed at the distant corner of the courtyard. I exchanged glances with Daryl and T-Dog. If this guy really thought we just going to disappear or listen to his directions, then he was simply delusional. Though I guess that was a part of his narcissistic personality.

"We're using that field for crops," Rick told him, not intimidated one bit, but it was like Tomas didn't even listen to his answer.

"We'll help you move your gear out."

"I don't think you understand your situation," I said, stepping next to Rick, tilting my head and smirking at Tomas. "We came here, killed all of those walkers, cleared the cellblock. We broke you out. If not for us, you'd die once you'd run out of food. There are more of us than you. And we have more weapons, not that I'd need a weapon to kill your ass. So let's get one thing clear. You have no say in what happens at this prison."

"And what we gonna do now? Like you said, you snatched the locks off our door," The short guy came butted in again, while Tomas was watching me intensely.

"We'll give you new locks, if that's how you want it," Rick spoke, I was really impressed at how calm he was.

"This is our prison," Tomas said, looking me directly in the eyes. "But you and me, we could figure something out, if you catch my drift."

"This was your prison, not anymore," I said and then looked him up and down, slowly, showing distaste on my face. "And I wouldn't touch you with a stick if you catch my drift."

"Listen, chica, we're moving back into our cellblock."

"You'll have to get your own," Rick told him, pushing me back gently.

"You scared I'll hurt her?" Tomas mocked him when he saw the gesture, and the sheriff smirked, shaking his head.

"No, I'm trying to stop her from killing you. Daryl."

After a second, I felt a hand on my elbow, and the hunter pulled me back to stand further down the back. I scoffed at him and crossed my arms.

"Look, we moving back. I still got personal artifacts down there. That's about as mine as it gets," Tomas rose his voice and reached for his gun, making T-Dog, Daryl, and I to do this same. So now we're back to pointing firearms at each other. Can we just finish this, one way or another?

"Whoa, whoa, whoa."

"Maybe let's try to make this work out, so everybody wins," The Mustache interrupted, moving between us, bringing his hands up, trying to calm us down.

"I don't see that happening."

"Neither do I."

"I ain't going back in that cafeteria for one more minute."

"There are other cellblocks," The Mustache stated, and that was true, but still the idea of those guys, just next doors, not the best in the world.

"Ya could leave," Daryl said in a hoarse voice, he had his crossbow trained on Tomas, ready to shoot that man any minute. "Try yur luck out on the road."

Everyone was silent for a moment; the Latino clearly weighing his options in his mind. He looked around, first at our group, then at his fellow inmates. After a minute, he shrugged his shoulders, nodding to himself.

"If these four pussies can do all this, least we can do is take out another cell block."

"With what?" The Big guy asked, which made Tomas look directly at Rick with a small smirk.

"Atlanta here will spot us some real weapons. Won't you boss?"

"How stocked is that cafeteria?" Rick asked him after a moment of silence. Ah, quid pro quo, good thinking Officer. "Must have plenty of food- five guys lasting almost a year."

"Sure as hell don't look like anybody's been starvin'," Daryl added, catching Tomas' attention.

"There's only a little left," The Latino man answered, and Rick glanced at me, and I shook my head.

"We'll take half," Rick stated, not really concerned with how much is left. "In exchange, we'll help clear put a cell block."

"Didn't you hear him?" The short guy said aggressively. "There's only a little left."

The sheriff looked at me again, and I smirked. "Lie. Again."

"See, Elena here can read micro-expressions, fairly well. So she knows when someone lies. It seems like you have more food than you let on. Plus, you don't really get a choice." Rick told them confidently. "You pay, we'll play. We'll clear out a block for you, then you keep to it."

"Alright," Tomas nodded, finally agreeing.

"But let's be clear. If we see you out here, anywhere near our people, if I so much as even catch a whiff of your scent, I will kill you."

"Deal."

We went with the inmates back to the cafeteria, to split the food. I haven't seen that much food in months, well, since we had to leave Palmetto. We took half, just like we said we'll. Then we equipped the prisoners in some crowbars and other pipes and tried to explain how to kill the walkers.

The first attempt was pathetic, and that's me being nice. They stabbed, slashed, kicked, and punched at every single part of the walker's body except the fucking brain. After we specifically told them that that's the place they need to aim for.

And then we lost fucking Big Tiny, the Big black guy. He got scared when the bigger group of walkers approached us, and he backed up, without letting anyone know. So he got bitten, on the back of his shoulder, so there was no way that we could do anything about it like we did with Hershel.

It was a shame, really, he was the nicest out of all the prisoners. I thought that we just going to deal with it as usual. Let him say goodbye, and then, well, wait for the fever to take him. Then hit his brain. But no, Tomas had a different idea; out of the blue, the Latino man just struck down Big Tiny in the head. And he didn't stop until the Black man's head was just a bloody mass on the floor.

After that, when we moved on towards block B, Daryl kept me next to him, and Rick stayed behind too.

"You see the look on his face?" Daryl whispered to the sheriff, who nodded.

"He makes one move."

"Just give us a sign," I added, clenching my jaw and tightening the grip on the machete. The other guys didn't seem that bad. And Andrew, the short Black guy, he seemed to follow Tomas for protection. But the Latino? He was a psychopath, and I could only guess what he was imprisoned for. I saw too many guys like him in my life, but now I didn't have restrictions of the law. We were making our own.

The entrance to the cell block B was next to the laundry room, which was luckily empty. Rick motioned at Daryl, and hunter tossed his keys to Tomas, making them land at man's feet. The Latino looked at them and then back at Dixon.

"I ain't opening that."

"Yes, you are," Rick answered him, his voice cold, not carrying. "If you want this cell block, you're gonna open that door. Just the one. Not both of them, because we need to control this."

Tomas slowly picked up the keys and exchanged a look with Andrew, a kind of look that I didn't particularly like.

"Be careful," I whispered to Rick, not taking my eyes off the door, and shifting my stance, raising the machete. I stood between Daryl and T-Dog, watching our backs.

Tomas fidgeted with the keys, looking for the right one before he finally unlocked it.

"You bitches ready?" He pulled the handle, but nothing happened. The man chuckled nervously, pulling harder until it gave in. Both of them. Tomas stumbled back from the entrance, walkers pushing at the doors.

"I said one door!" Rick yelled while Tomas moved backward, so now the sheriff was on the front line, slashing at the first walker that approached him.

"Shit happens."

I stabbed at the coming geek, while Daryl stayed behind, loading his crossbow with a new bolt. I kicked the other one and slashed off half of its brain. At this same time, Tomas swang widely with his own blade, nearly slicing Rick's face. And then, like it's nothing this fucking bastard, grabbed one of the walkers and pushed it towards the sheriff.

Rick wasn't expecting it, the walker's momentum and strength pushed them both to the floor. The geek tried to bite sheriff's face, and without thinking, I rushed forward, throwing my knife at its head. It went still, and Daryl, who appeared beside me, grabbed it and pushed it off Rick.

I turned around, stabbing another one, sweat dripping down my face and back, while Dixon helped Rick up. When there was just one walker left, I walked over, back to the one that attacked Rick, and pulled the knife out of its head.

"It was coming at me, bro," Tomas exclaimed, shrugging his shoulders. I scowled, and shifted my stance, my right leg slightly behind.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," Rick replied, nodding, his voice was hoarse, and his forehead was glistening from sweat. "I get it. Shit happens."

It was just a millisecond. Rick glanced in my direction, and the right side of my body moved swiftly. Leg to the front, hand thrusting upwards, my throwing knife plunging in Tomas' temple. His body froze, with mouth open and wide eyes, and his now dead body fell to the floor.

Andrew screamed, lifting his baseball bat, but before he could move, Rick kicked him in the chest, pushing him to the ground. The Black man quickly rose to his feet, and Daryl was ready to shoot his ass, but Rick lifted his hand, letting the man ran away.

"I got him," sheriff ran after Andrew, and I pulled my Glock out, pointing it at Axel, the Mustache guy. His face was full of fear, especially when he looked at my blank and cold expression. He held his arms up in surrender.

"Get down on your knees," Daryl ordered, aiming his crossbow at Oscar, who dropped his ax, kicking it away, and doing as told. Axel quickly followed.

"We don't have no affiliation with what just happened," The Mustache told us, shaking slightly and glancing at his last remaining friend. "Tell them, Oscar."

"Stop talking, man." Oscar shook his head; resignation was evident on his face.

"Tell you what fellas," I told them coldly. "We going to wait for Rick. Then you will have a chance to speak. Depending on if I think it's true, and if Rick thinks it's right, you may live."

Rick decided to let Oscar and Axel live. We walked them into their new cell block, told them to burn the bodies of walkers. And then we left.

I was exhausted, my whole body ached. I was covered in blood, and I had another name on the list of people I killed. This one didn't bother me that much. Tomas was a psychopath who knows what he'd do if he was allowed to live.

Rick told us what happened to Andrew, that he ran into the walkers, and sheriff locked him outside. It was a bit cruel, but then that's life now, and I suspected that the Black man would like revenge on us if he'd be alive. So it's better that way, safer. For Lori, Carol and Beth, and all the others.

We walked into our cell block, our home, for now, to be greeted by Carl.

"Hershel stopped breathing. Mom saved him."

"It's true," Glenn confirmed what the boy said, he looked tired as well, though it was more emotional than physical. Hell, we all were exhausted. It seemed like we just can't catch the break, no matter how good everything seems to be.

Rick passed his keys to his son and walked inside the cell, where Hershel was lying. Daryl leaned against the doorframe, and I stood next to him, putting a hand on Carl's shoulder. Trying to reassure the boy that everything's going to be alright.

"Still no fever," Lori spoke, from the corner of the cell.

I looked at Hershel and bit my lip, trying to stop it from trembling. Now that adrenaline left my body, I felt fatigued and hungry. And I finally allowed myself to be scared for that old man, who became like a father to the rest of us. He looked so small and fragile with pale skin, unmoving. And oh, God. Even if he survives, if we would have to run from the prison at any point, he will have smaller chances than any of us.

We all stilled, when Hershel started mumbling, and it looked like he tried to say something, through his unconscious state. And then, slowly with a low grunt, he opened his eyes. His human, blue eyes.

Everyone exhaled in relief. I squeezed Carl's shoulder and let him go when he stepped forward, closer to bed. I smiled softly, at Maggie and Beth, they were crying from happiness. I walked away silently when Rick grabbed Hershel's hand, sitting down next to him.

I walked down the cellblock to the cell, where I knew they put food. I walked in, grabbed a few protein bars and a can of sweetcorn, and a bottle of water. I climbed up and plunged myself at the mattress on the perch, and opened the tin. I quickly ate half of it and left the rest for Daryl whenever he would come.

I drank slowly from the bottle, and layed down on my side, facing away from the entrance, so the rest could see me. And I finally let myself go. The stress of today, hell, of the past months, washing away with a silent cry.

I buried my face in Daryl's pillow, inhaling his scent, which always seemed to calm me down. We were finally behind the closed walls, yet still, we managed to nearly lose one of us, kill three surviving prisoners.

I knew that securing this place won't be easy, but it was worth it. For Lori and her baby, Carl, the others.

I froze when someone wrapped their arms around me.

"Shh, just me," Daryl whispered in my ear, and at hearing his soft voice, a sob escaped my lips. He pulled at my shoulder, and I turned around, facing him.

Daryl sneaked one arm under my head, and the other pressed me tightly to his chest. He let me cry, gently caressing my back, running a hand through my messy curls. Until there were no more tears, only tiredness left. And slowly, listening to his steady heartbeat, with Daryl's arms around me, his chin on top of my head, I drifted off into the darkness. Hoping that tomorrow there will be no losses.


	37. Chapter 37

**Day 293**

In the past week, we've been working hard. We ventured back inside the prison, to the places that we already secured, to retrieve the bodies. Moving the corpses from inside and courtyard into one place. Today we were going to finally burn them and bring the cars in.

Hershel was in and out of consciousness for the first two days, but today he looked way better. His cheeks gained color, and he was eating full meals again. And he definitely was bored, he was moaning to me about it this morning.

We were out with the first light, bringing the cars into the main gate. The most fun was pushing the tipped bus out of the way, so we could even drive through. I mean, I'm not going to lie. Watching Daryl next to me, clenching his jaw, and tensing those muscles was worth it. Even Carol's smug face, when she caught me checking Dixon out, didn't destroy my mood.

"OK, let's get the other car in," Rick said after Carol brought the pick-up in. "Park them in the west entry of the yard."

"Good. Our vehicles camped out there looked like a giant vacancy sign," Daryl commented, seriously where he gets these anecdotes from?

"After that, we need to load up these corpses so we can burn 'em."

"Make sure we do it where we don't plan to plant anything," I told Rick, walking ahead next to him.

"Where's Glenn and Maggie?" Carol asked. I exchanged glances with Daryl, and we both smirked. We were the first two up this morning, and when we came out for a cigarette, let's say that we heard the young couple, and they were very occupied at that point. "We could use some help."

"Up in the guard tower," Daryl pointed ahead, and Rick furrowed his brows, looking in that direction.

"Guard tower? They were just up there last night."

"Let's be happy they doing it there, not in the cell block," I commented, making Carol laugh, and T-Dog flinched at the thought.

"Glenn!" Daryl stepped forward and shouted. Oh, boy. What the hell are you doing, Dixon? "Maggie!"

We watched from the distance as someone jumped to their feet inside the tower and opened the door to the dock. Glenn came out, without a shirt, buttoning his pants. Well, at least someone is having fun in this group.

"Hey! What's up, guys?" The Asian man called over, his hair was a complete mess, and I could see Maggie behind him, trying to see what we want. We all giggled lightly, and the hunter put hands on his hips. Daryl glanced at me, his eyes flickered mischievously.

"Ya comin'?" Oh. My. God. I nearly choked, trying not to laugh, biting down on my bottom lip. Beside me, Carol and T didn't try to hide their amusement.

"What?" Glenn answered, his voice cracked a little.

"Ya comin'?" Daryl repeated, chuckling to himself. Even from here, I could see Glenn glancing over at his girlfriend, not knowing how to answer that kind of question. "Come on. We could use a hand."

"Yeah, we- we'll be right down."

We walked back to the cars, Carol smacking Daryl's shoulder playfully, while I bumped him with my shoulder.

"Daryl Dixon got fucking jokes, who would've thought," I teased him, making him smirk at me.

"Ya know I do, princess."

"Huh. So, do you wanna take a watch with me tonight?" I asked him, wiggling my eyebrows. Carol and T started laughing again, and Daryl pushed me gently and rolled his eyes.

"Shut up, woman." I was about to go and get the Hyundai when T-Dog spoke slowly, getting our attention.

"Hey, Rick." I turned around two see two remaining prisoners, coming in our direction, from their cell block. Sheriff's expression changed momentarily, his lips scowling, and eyes getting cold.

"Come with me," Rick ordered sternly and walked forward, to meet the men halfway, to stop them from getting any closer.

"That's close enough!" The sheriff told the prisoners, clenching his fists. "We had an agreement."

"Please, mister," Axel started, shifting on his legs, and his arms were crossed on his chest. "We know that. We made a deal. But you gotta understand, we can't live in that place another minute."

While he was talking, Glenn and Maggie came down from the tower, now standing behind the two men.

"You follow me?" Axel continued. I was wondering how long he was rehearsing that speech. "All the bodies. People we knew. Blood, brains everywhere. There's ghosts."

"Well, then you move the bodies out," Daryl told them, his voice tense.

"You should be burning them," T-Dog added, and inmates exchanged glances before Axel spoke again.

"We tried. We did."

"The fence is down, the far side of the prison," Oscar continued explaining. "Every time we drag a body out, those things just line up. So, dropping the body, and just running back inside."

"Look, we had nothing to do with Tomas and Andrew. Nothin'." Axel stepped closer, his body language open, no signs of a lie. "You trying to prove a point, you proved it, bro. We'll do whatever it takes to be part of your group. Just please, please, don't make us live in that place."

Rick glared at the two men in front of him and cocked his head. "Our deal is non-negotiable. You either live in your cell block, or you leave."

I sighed internally. I knew where all that mistrust came from. We did meet hostile groups before. Hell, I was the one that dealt with all of them. But I could tell that situation here was different. They are only two people; there aren't any others who could come and attack us from nowhere. And from what I could tell so far, they were telling the truth, and really weren't kind of people Tomas was.

"I told you this was a waste of time," Oscar stated, looking over at Axel with a grim expression on his face. "They ain't no different than the pricks who shot up our boys. You know how many friend's corpses we had to drag out this week?"

Oscar's voice was getting stronger and more bitter with every word. And I could tell by looking at Glenn, Maggie, and T-Dog that it was starting to get to them. But he wasn't finished yet.

"Just threw 'em out, like- these were good guys. Good guys who had our backs against the really bad dudes in the joint, like Tomas and Andrew. Now, we've all made mistakes to get in here, chief. And I'm not gonna pretend to be a saint, but believe me, we've paid our due. Enough that we would rather hit that road than to go back into that shit hole."

There was a dreading silence after his speech, the words I recognized as truth. After a moment, Rick slowly glanced above his shoulder, locking his eyes with Daryl's. And right there, when I observed both men's faces, I knew that desition was made. Dixon bit his bottom lip, and slowly shook his head for 'no'.

So when Rick looked at me, I forced a smile on my lips and nodded. I believed the prisoners and that they had nothing to do with Tomas. But it was two to one, and although Rick acknowledged my opinion, it wasn't enough to convince him.

"Are you serious? You want them living in a cell next to you?" Rick was looking at T-Dog and me, his hand propped on the tilted bus. Daryl just came back from locking the prisoners away, on their side of the prison. "They'll just be waiting for a chance to grab our weapons. You want- you want to go back to sleeping with one eye open?"

"I never stopped," T-Dog replied in a feeble tone. "Bring them into the fold. Now, we send 'em off packing, we might as well execute them ourselves."

"I don't know. Axel seems a little unstable," Glenn said, not looking convinced.

"Because he's scared," I replied, trying to let them see my point of view.

"After all we've been through? We fought so hard for all this." Carol stated, making me sigh heavily. "What if they decide to take it?"

"It's just been us for so long. They're strangers," Maggie spoke in a hushed voice, as so the men in question won't hear. "It feels weird, all of a sudden having other people around."

"You brought us in," T told her, biting his bottom lip.

"Yeah, but you turned up with a shot boy in your arms. You didn't give us a choice."

"They can't even kill walkers," Glenn added, but I shook my head.

"So, we teach them."

"They convicts, bottom line," Carol said, and that made me twist to look at her with furrowed eyebrows.

"I killed eleven people since the turn. And more before all of this happened," I growled in a low voice. "Are you going to shut me on the other side of that gate, too?"

Carol flinched at that and averted her eyes. "That's different."

"I get guys like this," Daryl spoke before I could argue more with the gray-haired woman. I pressed my lips in the thin line and moved my eyes to Daryl, waiting for what he got to say. "Hell, I grew up with 'em. They degenerate, but they ain't psychos. I could have been in there with 'em just as easy as I'm out here with ya guys."

"So, you're with us?" T-Dog asked the hunter gesturing between himself and me.

"Hell no." My heart dropped at Daryl's answer, and I clenched my fists, looking away from him. "Let 'em take their chances out on the road, just like we did."

I groaned in frustration and raised my voice a little. "Look, I know you're all scared. Guess what, so am I. I am the one who had the closest calls over the winter. But also I know when people lie. And they don't. This all is fucking new to them, and they're scared. I saw guys like them, they aren't killers. We- I have more blood on my hands than they do, for sure."

"When I was a rookie, I arrested this kid- nineteen years old," Rick interrupted me before I could continue. "Wanted for stabbing his girlfriend. Kid blubbered like a baby during the interrogation, during the trial. Suckered the jury. He was acquitted due to insufficient evidence, and then two weeks later, shot another girl. We've been through too much. Our deal with them stands," Rick finished and started to walk away.

I pushed past Daryl, who tried to stop me, but I shoved his arm off me, sending him a cold glare.

"Rick. All I'm asking is, let me talk to them," I said, running a hand over my sweaty face.

"Elena-"

"I told my piece of mind, and so did you. I get it. With the kid, How did you know he did it?"

"Evidence, digging through his past, witnesses said he was arguing with the girl for weeks prior. And then-" Rick paused for a second, tilting his head. "There was that one look he sent me."

"That was your instinct. You know me for eight months now. You trusted my opinions before. You know I can tell when someone's lying. Rick, I'd do everything for this group. Hell, I already did so much, I killed people for you, guys." I explained to the sheriff in a hushed voice.

"I know. And you know I'd do this same if it was me," He growled and pointed the finger at my face.

"Rick, it's not an argument! Since that night, after the farm, I told you that I trust you. That I'll follow you, but that you need to lean on someone in whatever means you need. I know better than any of you how horrible people, especially men, can be. But when I look at Axel and Oscar, I don't see it. Not once did they glanced at our weapons, not once they looked over at Maggie, Carol, or me like we're a piece of meat. We had a bad track with new people. And I'll always be wary and on edge when we'll meet more, but them?" I shook my head and laughed dryly. "We don't know them, but they're harmless. So let me talk to them, see what they got to say. Carol's worried that they're convicts, let me find out why they're here in the first place. Let me talk to them, please, Rick."

I took a deep breath, waiting for the sheriff to answer me. He tilted his head and clenched his jaw, but after a second of hesitation, he nodded.

"Have your gun and knives with you. We gonna go get the wood. In the meantime, we'll lock them by the gate. You can use that time to talk with them."

I walked slightly behind the rest towards the gate, separating two courtyards. We were bringing our cars closer to our block, so we can have quick access in case of emergency. But I was here to get the prisoners and start our chat.

I brushed past Dixon, trying to ignore him, but he grabbed my upper arm and leaned down, his raspy voice just a whisper in my ear.

"Ya mad?"

I moved my face to look into his blue eyes, and I sighed. Our noses were nearly brushing. He was chewing his lip again, and I glanced at it for second before looking back up.

"No, I don't expect us to agree on everything, Daryl."

"I just don't want 'em to hurt anyone," He said softly, his thumb running small circles on my dirty arm. I put a little smile on my face.

"I know. Me too, but we can't kill or get rid of every living people we encounter. Not all of them are bad."

"Just be careful."

"Alway am, Big Boy. Don't worry about me, take your baby inside, I'll wait here with them," I motioned at two men who were watching us, and Daryl nodded sharply. He dropped his hand and stepped back towards his bike. I smirked under my nose, he was adorable when embarrassed.

I walked towards the gate and waited for the others to drive through it, so I can stay with prisoners alone. I watched Axel looking over at Daryl's bike, the men's arms were crossed, and he was shifting from one leg to the other.

"Twin cylinders, that's Triumph?"

Daryl glared at the inmate while he sat down on his bike and turned on the engine. "Don't even look at it."

"Didn't want to bore it out? Sounds like it could use a tune-up." Axel kept talking, but Dixon was ignoring him, though I saw his jaw clenching, muscles on his neck tightening. "I'm pretty handy with a wrench. Heads are leakin'. I know my bikes!"

Daryl drove away, and Glenn shut the gate behind them, sending my worried glance. I smiled at him reassuringly and turned around to look at the two men.

"Man, will you just stop?" Oscar asked his friend, leaning on the office doors, shaking his head. I gained their attention when I snickered and moved closer to them.

Axel's eyes went wide, and Oscar looked at me, distrustfully.

"You here to kill us, Ma'am?" Axel asked me, swallowing harshly. I snorted and rose my eyebrows at him.

"No. You wanted to talk. We have questions. And I have a gift of separating truth from lies. But you try anything, at all, and yes, I'll kill you." I told him, glancing between both of them.

"We already told you, we-" I rose my hand to stop him from talking, and he shut his mouth.

"Let's go inside, it's fucking hot today. I hate Georgia." I muttered last words, and opened the guard's office door, walking in and glancing around. There were blood splatters on the floor and the walls, we already disposed of the body that was in here. Metal desk with four chairs and some drawers. Old, dusty computer, and some control station, probably to catalog all arrivals and departures. And then the stairs leading to the higher level of the watchtower.

"Sit down," I ordered them, walking around the desk. I put my legs on it after sitting down, and I stared at the men, who looked at each other for a moment before they took their seats in front of me. "Great. I ask questions, you answer truthfully. We don't have that much time, they do want to send you away."

"You don't?" Oscar interrupted me, disbelief evident on his face.

"Look, I stick up my neck for you guys, here. I believed when you said you had nothing to do with Tomas. But the rest? We were out since the beginning. And we learned that walkers aren't the only enemies. You've seen movies like that before, didn't you? The world goes to shit, and humans think that laws don't apply anymore, that they can do whatever they want to anyone. Primal law. The man above the woman."

"We understand, Ma'am."

"OK, first, I'm Elena. Don't call me Ma'am I feel fucking old, when you're doing that, Axel." I told the blonde guy, and he relaxed a little bit, but his companion was still tense, distrustful. Right, that's smart, keeps you alive for longer.

"Alrighty, you first Axel. What did you do before you get to jail?" I asked him, and he started talking immediately. He liked to chat, that's for sure.

"I was a mechanic. Um, part-time. That's what got me here."

"OK, what got you here?"

"Armed robbery, but it wasn't like that." He sighed heavily and shook his head. "I had a shit month, my brother borrowed some money, and I owed some to- well, dealers. And there wasn't a lot of jobs going on. I got into the store with a water pistol, grabbed some food and money from the register." I looked at him, making sure to keep my blank face on, but inside I was laughing like a maniac. Water fucking pistol? Is he for real? I nodded, letting him know to continue.

"I hid in my brother's place, but cops found me the next day. They found his gun, and wouldn't believe that anyone would be so stupid to rob a store with a water gun. I got ten years, still had two to go, when the riot started." He finished, and I hummed after listening to him.

"Did you ever even fired a real gun?"

"No, Ma- Elena."

I observed his body language and face. He was visibly ashamed of what he did eight years ago, and he seemed honest, answering my questions. I moved my eyes to the other man, who sat guarded on the chair, but we were interrupted by voices outside.

"El! Move yur ass." I rolled my eyes at Daryl's words and moved to the door.

"Don't talk about my ass, or I'll think you're interested," I answered when I stepped back into the sun, sending Dixon a smirk. He huffed and walked through the gate.

"Dixon," I called after him, making him turn around. "Be careful out there."

"Always am, woman."

"You sure you're alright with them?" Rick asked me, glancing towards the office.

"Yeah, we're fine, don't worry. I spoke to Axel, I just got Oscar left."

"And?"

"And I think we really should let them stay. They know the layout of the prison more than we do. They've worked here. Axel's a mechanic, that could be handy." I whispered I didn't want to raise any hopes in the inmates, in case Rick wouldn't agree. The sheriff looked grim but nodded before answering.

"I'm gonna think about it. We gonna take the keys."

"Alrighty, get going. I'll see you in a bit," I told him and walked back inside, sitting straight in the chair.

"Sorry about that, boys. Overprotective hillbilly. So, Oscar," I glanced at the black man, and he looked me directly in the eyes, his face like stone. "What you've been doing before getting arrested?"

"I worked constructions, mainly electric." He said simply, not giving away to much.

"Axel mentioned before that you did B and E. Why? Construction isn't that badly paid."

"It was stupid, that's what it was," He grunted, looking away for a second. "I had one friend, for most of my life, we got in with a bad crowd when we were kids. I got out, but he stayed with them. And one day, he calls me and says that he needs help with something. He told me he needed an electrician to sort something out. So step one was to cut the power off, to check the installation."

"Except it wasn't to do a check, was it?" I asked him softly, seeing how he stopped talking for a moment.

"No. By the time I realized, we were inside, and he was pointing a gun at an old couple, while his crew grabbed what they could. The police came before we could go anywhere. I got three years."

I nodded and sighed, looking at him with pity. "For property damage and entering without permission, and because the others had guns, right?"

Oscar looked at me carefully and nodded. "Yeah. Who were you before?"

"FBI," I smirked when Axel gasped, but Oscar just hummed, like my answer explained everything. "How much longer you had?"

"I should've been released six months ago."

"OK, what about Tomas and Andrew?"

"We didn't know them that much. They were bullies." Axel quickly answered. "Tomas robbed a bank with his gang and shot the cop while escaping."

"He ruled the C block. Aggressive, you saw what he did to Big Tiny, Elena," Oscar added, and I was ready to answer when I heard shots.

At that sound, I sprung back to my feet, and my heart leaped into my throat. It was hard to accurately pinpoint where it came from, but no one would use their guns like that without reason. Especially that by the time I got outside, it was more than one bullet being fired.

"What's that?" Axel asked behind me, but I ignored him and jogged towards the gate leading to the inner courtyard. Fuck, I forgot that Rick locked it.

"No!" I yelled and yanked at the gate, trying to force it open. In far, I could hear screams and shots, and I could see people and walkers alike in the small yard outside of our cellblock. We were fucking cut off. I was way too far to even attempt to fire my gun, and this guard tower didn't have any rifle in, and my lockpicking set was safe in my cell. I gritted my teeth and shook the gate one more time.

"Lori!" I could hear somewhere behind me, and when I glanced above my shoulder, I could see Rick, Daryl, and Glenn sprinting through the catwalk. "Keys, Keys!"

I watched with cold, trembling hands when Glenn threw the keys forward to Daryl, and hunter past them to Rick. I stood in a clear line of view, spreading my legs a little. The second gate was unlocked, I yelled at the sheriff, urging him to hurry up.

"Rick!" He threw me the keys, and I spun around, grabbed the right one, and put it into the lock, twisting and pushing metal aside. The men ran past me, Daryl pulling at my shirt to get me moving as well.

"What about us?" Axel shouted after us, and I turn around, still pushing forward.

"Stay behind me!" I took out my Glock and moved to the side, so I wouldn't hit my guys. By the time we got to the inner yard, my heart was racing, Hershel and Beth only people I could see. I fired at one of the remaining walkers, trying to get to the cage where Greenes where hiding.

"What the hell happened?" Rick asked, sticking his machete in the walker's head.

"The gate was open!" Beth told us, visibly distressed.

"Where's Lori? Carl? Everyone else?"

"Maggie let Lori and Carl into C block," Hershel replied, pointing the doors they took. I kicked at the geek that came closer to me and took out my machete. Putting my frustration and fear into the blow, I sliced his face and head in half, watching it slowly slip down to the ground.

"And T bit," My breath hitched in my throat when I heard what Beth said. My lips trembled. I took a sharp breath and tightened my grip on a blade, burying the pain deep inside me. There will be time for grieving later.

"Anyone else?" Rick keeps asking questions, while I ran at the last walker I could see. I took it's head off, stabbing it once it fell to the ground with an angry scream. T-- they had to be wrong, maybe they didn't see everything properly. Surely he couldn't be bitten.

"I couldn't tell."

"Stay put."

Glenn checked the other gate and jogged back to us. "Those chains didn't break on their own. Someone took an ax or cutters to 'em."

Rick's face was a perfect example of fury. His mouth twitched and turned upside down, muscles in his jaw were tight, his nose flaring when he looked back at the prisoners who just made their way through the gate.

"You think they did it?"

"Who else?"

"No! Rick!" I yelled after him when he started marching towards Axel and Oscar. "I was with them all that time."

"Who else then?" Sheriff spun around, directing his anger at me.

'"How the fuck would I know? Are you sure Andrew is dead?"

Before we could go and ask two men about it, alarms started echoing through the courtyard. The speaker blasting, laud, high sound.

"Who's that?"

"Aw- you gotta be kiddin' me."

I looked around, the sound already attracting walkers from outside towards the prison. I took out my Glock and shot at the nearest speaker, hoping to control the damage a bit. Rick and Glenn were quickly repeating my actions.

"How the hell can this be happening?" Rick asked the prisoners, who were glancing around uneasily. He pointed his Colt at them, making Oscar raise his arms and step back a bit.

"Whoa, whoa. Hey, it has to be the backup generators."

"Well, how to turn those on?"

"Look, there's- there's three that's connected to a diesel tank, OK? Each one controls a certain part of the prison. You had to shut 'em all off when the prison was overrun."

"Could someone open up the main gates electronically with full power?"

"Look, I- I only worked in there a few days. I- I guess it might be possible."

"All right, come with us." Rick didn't even wait for a reply, just started running into the prison.

When we got to our cell block, there were dozen of walkers inside; someone had to open the other side and lure them in here. And I was a hundred percent sure that it wasn't Axel or Oscar, I would notice something off when I spoke with them. We killed the geeks quickly and checked the cells for Lori, Maggie, and Carl, but they weren't there.

At the moment, our priority was to get to the generator room as fast as possible and shut this shit down before we'll get overrun.

We came around the corner, finally finding the room and Rick slammed his shoulder, opening a squicky, metal door. Daryl shut it as soon as I was inside. He and Oscar slammed their bodies against the door, which didn't want to close. Oh, I didn't mention? There were like twenty walkers outside, chasing us before we got here. And now they were banging and scraping at the piece of metal that was separating us from their deadly bites. I was out of bullets, only my knives and machete left as protection.

"How do you shut those down?" Rick yelled over the noise from inside the room, and Oscar glanced between Daryl and me.

"Go!" I told him and took his place against the door. It was bouncing, digging deep in my back, every time a body on the other side pushed. We had to shut it correctly before they all barge in. I looked at the hunter next to me, his sweaty form was pushing hard, arms bulging and his neck vein prominent. I glanced down at where he chucked his crossbow and back to him. I can't hold the door by myself, though.

"Hold it," I told him and stepped forward, lifting the bow I huffed a little at how heavy it actually was. Daryl always made it look so easy to carry, but that's bullshit. Dixon looked at me, and what I was doing, he fired the bolt at one of the geeks just before we came in, so I had to fucking reload.

I watched him enough times to do it, right? And even without my weekly exercises, I was still stronger than an average woman of my size. Breathing steady, I snatched the bolt from the holder and leaned the bow on the floor, the stock resting on my thigh. I lodged my right foot in the stirrup to hold it in spot and placed the bolt. OK, now for the hard part.

I heard the noises somewhere behind me, shouting and maybe a fight. But if we don't shut this fucking door, it won't matter. We'll all fucking die. My heart was racing in my chest with a new rush of adrenaline, and I bent down. Grabbing the string with both hands and holding the bolt at this same time, I pulled. Clenching my teeth, I let a strained gasp escape my lips, and it was done.

"Open!" I shouted, raising the weapon high, with both hands, and the second Daryl stepped away from the door, a walker came in. Glancing through the scope, I pressed the trigger, hearing familiar snap when the bolt was released. The recoil was greater than I anticipated, and I had to take a few steps back when the stock hit me in the face, slipping from my shoulder. I cried out in pain, tears instantly spilling from my eyes.

"Ya OK?" I heard after a second, and I opened my eyes to see that Daryl managed to close the door. He took his bow from my grasp and was looking worryingly at my face.

"Yeah, check what's happening!" The second I said it, we heard a gunshot behind us. I reached for my Glock and followed Dixon deeper inside the room.

Oscar stood there, pointing a Rick's Phyton at sheriff himself. When I stepped to the left, I noticed a body behind Rick, Andrew, the prick that apparently somehow escaped and tried to kill us all. So that's what all the noises were.

"Oscar," I spoke in a soft voice, lowering my gun and gesturing for Rick to stay put. The Black man didn't even look in my direction, in skillful motion he spun the weapon around, so the butt was facing Rick. I breathed out and touched Daryl's shoulder, making him put down his gun while the sheriff took back his Colt.

"There's about ten of 'em outside," Daryl grunted, motioning at the door when Rick finally shut down the generator.

"Well, let's do it now then. While I can still fucking see." I said, sternly grabbing two throwing knives from the reins on my ribs. I spread my legs and took the stance, ready to attack.

"What happened to you?" Rick's gruff voice asked me when he readied his machete next to me.

"She shot my crossbow. Didn't count the recoil." Daryl snorted from the door, while Oscar stood behind us, holding an ax. The same that Andrew used to let walkers in.

"Yeah, and you'll never let me forget that," I commented dryly, smacking my lips and nodding for him to open the door.

We walked back through the corridors, looking for the rest of our people when we heard the steps on our right. We stood still against the wall, ready to attack. My knife in one hand, machete in the other I was tense and scared. Scared of what we going to find.

I rose my blade, but the face that emerged from the corner was familiar and alive. Glenn and Axel came into our view, making us all sigh in relief. But they were alone, and Glenn's grim expression told me that they didn't find anyone else.

We started to move again, forward. Down the corridor that will take us back to our cell block, and that's when I saw it. At the end, by the wall were two walkers feasting on a fresh body. A body in dark pants and cream, long-sleeve t-shirt. A sob escaped my lips before I could stop it, catching the geek's attention.

Rick didn't even hesitate and fired twice, putting both walkers down, and I ran to T-Dog. I tilted my head and sniffed at the sight. His chest was ripped open, completely covered in blood. The majority of his insides were missing. Even his face- the only reason I knew it's him was his clothes and dark skin color; not that there was a lot of skin left. I felt my stomach clench, and I turned to the side, away from the rest, retching. My body trembled while I emptied my stomach to the ground.

"Shh," Warm hand on my back, made me flinch for a second until I realized it's just Daryl. He waited patiently until I was finished and didn't say a word when I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

I turned back to my friend's body and took a deep breath. I saw that Rick was pacing in front of T, he couldn't bring himself to do this. And I saw Daryl pick up a familiar scarf from the floor, clenching his fist on the soft fabric. I licked my dry lips and rose my knife.

"El,-"

"I have to," I said in a raspy voice, ignoring the others. "Rest in peace, my friend," I whispered and gently pushed the blade into T-Dog's ear. More tears slip down my cheeks, and I closed my eyes. Rest, I hope you will find Jacqui and Amy and Dale. Watch over us, my friend. There was a cry, full of pain echoing in the corridor and it took me a second to realize it was me. My head low, and eyes closed, I took a few shaky breaths to calm down, focus.

Lori, Maggie, and Carl. That's who we needed to find, and Carol.

I stood up, placing a blank expression on my face, looking sternly at Rick. "We need to find the rest."

I pushed at the door and jogged out, towards Hershel and Beth, noticing that no one else came back.

"You didn't find them?" The old man asked, worry on his face evident.

"Thought maybe they came back out here," Glenn told him, panting heavily. I groaned when both Greene shook their head, Beth looked like she's about to cry.

"What about T?"

"Gone," I whispered, keeping my face still even though my heart was bleeding.

"Carol?"

"Found a scarf," Daryl's hoarse voice sounded from behind me, and that calmed me down. His presence always did that to me, and now I needed it even more.

"That doesn't mean the others didn't," Rick argued, running a hand over his face. "We're going back. Daryl and Glenn, you go with-"

My heart sped up again when I heard cries from behind me, soft, high screechy cries. I swallowed harshly and slowly turned around, scared of what we're going to see.

Maggie came down, out of the cage leading to another cell block entrance. In her arms, she was holding very naked, covered in blood, baby. It was wrapped in Carl's shirt. The boy himself walked behind a young woman, his face pale, but expressionless, holding a gun. Both of their hands were covered in red, fresh blood.

I took a deep, silent breath because I didn't have to be a profiler to know what happened. Maggie's face was red and puffy, Carl was holding a gun and looking at the ground.

Lori was gone.

Rick's ax cluttered to the ground when he slowly walked towards his children and Maggie. I can't even describe how he looked like - grief, anger, disbelief. All those emotions and more mixed on his face while he glanced between Mags and his son. The hand holding his Colt was trembling, something I never saw, not since he tried to put down Dale.

I looked to the side, at Daryl, and closed my eyes for a second, pushing tears back. Three. Suddenly three of us are gone, and it was all my fault. If only I wouldn't be so stubborn. If I would stay here, to protect them, none of this would have happened. I opened my eyes and reached out my hand, searching for my anchor. Slowly interlocking my fingers with Daryl's, I watched our leader brake down.

T-Dog was gone.

Carol was gone.

Lori was gone, but her baby was alive.


	38. Chapter 38

"Rick, are ya with me?" Daryl asked sheriff, who crumbled to the ground once Maggie stopped him from going back inside the prison.

The baby was crying loudly, and Carl was closed off, looking down, his eyes vacant. But Rick, I can't even imagine what he's feeling at the moment. His wife just died, giving birth to his friend's child.

"Let me see the baby," Hershel spoke from his spot, leaning on his crutches. Maggie gently placed little bundle into Carl's arms, and the boy moved towards the doctor.

"What are we gonna feed it?" Daryl questioned, his voice was softer, carrying. "We got anythin' a baby can eat?"

Hershel looked down at the wrapped baby, touching its skin gently. "The good news is she looks healthy." A girl. A little baby girl. Memories flashed in my mind, and I shook my head, trying to push them away. "But she needs formula and soon, or she won't survive."

"Nope," Dixon stated a stern look on his sweaty face. "No way. Not her. We ain't losin' nobody else. I'm goin' for a run." He pulled his crossbow across his back and looked back at me. I stood still, not moving from my spot. I knew I was in slight shock, and that I had to shake it off.

"I'll back you up," Maggie stated, her voice cracking at the end.

"I'll go, too," Glenn added, observing his girlfriend.

"OK. Think where we're going, Beth." Daryl tapped the young woman on the shoulder and pulled her aside, whispering something in her ears. I cleared my throat and turned to the prisoners.

"Axel, Oscar. You get the fence, kill as many walkers as you can." I started, but before I could say anything else, Rick stood up abruptly, moving quickly towards his ax. He picked it up, and without saying a word, he crossed the yard in the direction Maggie came from.

"Rick!" I yelled after him, but he didn't stop. He yanked at the small gate and ran the stairs, disappearing inside.

"I'll get him," Glenn said, ready to follow the sheriff, but I put a hand on his shoulder.

"Leave him. He needs to see her, and he needs to kill something."

"Get the gate. Come on, we gotta move the light!" Daryl shouted to the young couple and started moving to his bike.

"Daryl," I spoke, jogging towards him. "Come back alive. Please be safe, I can't--" I looked away, not able to say anything else. He pulled me into a tight, quick hug.

"Always," He whispered and let me go, running to his vehicle.

I took a deep breath, patting Maggie's back when she walked past me. Glenn and inmates followed them, and I turned around to the remaining people.

"Alrighty. We killed walkers that got in and closed the gates, but still let me go in first, just in case."

We walked into the common area, and I quickly looked at the bodies, ensuring everything was secure. I did this same inside the cell block and motioned for Beth, Hershel, and Carl that it's safe to come in. I lowered my weapons, and looked at their faces, knowing that they need something to occupy their minds.

"Carl, can you please find some clean towers? We need to wash her a little. And try to find some box we could use for her bed." I started, looking at the boy. He didn't reply but walked towards one of the cells, making me take a shaky breath.

"OK. Beth, Hershel, organize something to wrap her in. And some sort of nappy, I guess."

"I know what to do, Elena." Hershel smiled at me gently, making me nod in appreciation.

"I'll get rid of these bodies."

I started on the four bodies lying on the ground in here, while Beth took the baby to her cell.

It took me about an hour to move all the walkers out to the courtyard. When I finished, I walked towards where Glenn was, he was digging graves on the side of the prison. I motioned for Axel and Oscar to come around.

"How's the fence?" I asked them, and they nodded.

"We got the walkers spread out," Axel answered, and Glenn got out of the hole, sticking the shovel in the ground. The blonde man looked at the grass and then glanced up at the Asian man. "Need help?"

Glenn didn't answer, just scoffed and turned back to continue.

"Your friends. They-- they were good folks."

"They were family," The Asian man snarled at them, his face twisting in anger.

"Glenn," I said in a low voice, warning in my eyes. I shifted and glanced at the two other men, giving them a forced smile. "Thank you. And thank you for Andrew." I directed the last words to Oscar.

"Ain't nothing. He was a crazy scumbag." The Black man exclaimed, making my smile more real.

"If you could help me with T-Dog's body, I'd appreciate it."

"We got it, boss, you take care of that," Oscar said and motioned at the fence where Hershel stood.

"Alrighty, when you finish, get something to eat."

I climbed up the small hill towards the old man while he watched my every movement.

"Rick?" I asked him, receiving a gentle shake of his head.

"Still inside."

"Alright, I'll go grab him. We also need to look for Carol, but I'd rather wait for Daryl to come back. I don't want to leave you guys without protection."

"Tomorrow then. How do you feel?"

I chuckled dryly and bit my lip to stop it. "Do you know that this is the first time I am near a baby? You know, every since--" I cut off, looking away. I closed my eyes and breathed in sharply.

"I'll go find Rick, and then check on you, guys," I said sternly and walked away, back to the prison.

I followed the bloody trail of walkers scattered on the ground. Quietly maneuvering between the bodies, I stopped when I heard heavy breathing behind the corner. Raising my machete, I peeked through and exhaled in relief when I saw it's just Rick. He just stood there, leaning against the wall, ax tightly held in his hand, blood slowly dripping from it.

"Rick?" I said quietly, softly, and crept towards him, careful to not spook him. "It's clear in the cell block."

He shifted, turning his face to me, and all alarms went off in my mind. I put away my machete, to show him that I mean no harm. Rick watched me like a hawk; every move of my body nothing went unnoticed.

"Rick, your kids need you, you scaring the group a little," I admitted quietly when I got closer. I gasped when he yanked my arm and shoved me against the wall and hold his forearm to my neck. My heart was pounding, threatening to escape from my chest. When I looked behind Rick's shoulder, I saw Glenn, frozen in his spot.

I raised my hand to let the Asian man know that I'm OK. The pressure on my throat wasn't deadly, but for sure will leave a bruising on my skin.

"Rick," I said gently. "It's fine. Take as much time as you need. I'll take care of our people. They're safe now."

The sheriff growled in frustration, pulled my arm away, shoved me to the ground, and then walked away, further inside the prison. I took a few sharp breathes, touching the neck with my fingers, checking the damage.

"You're alright?" Glenn crouched down next to me, worry written all over his face.

"I'm fine."

"Rick-- I can't believe he did that."

"Listen, he's grieving. And I bet he's blaming himself, and the fact that he didn't really speak to Lori for months doesn't help that feeling." I stood up with a small groan, and pulled Glenn with me, towards our cell block. "You not going to tell anyone what you saw. We're going to take care of the group until Rick feels better."

I looked over at the man beside me, and he clenched his jaw. He changed so much in past months, he wasn't that innocent young man I met at the quarry.

"What about bruising? Daryl will notice."

"Leave him to me. I just don't want them to have a wrong idea. Trust me--" I stopped in my tracks, making Glenn do this same, something in his look changed. "After my parents, after Amelia-- I was this same. He needs to process it, deal with guilt in his own way."

We didn't say anything else, just walked back into our cell block. We made sure that gates leading to other places are locked. When we got into the common room, I heard cries of the baby, causing my heart clench.

"Glenn, you go to the watchtower, wait for Maggie and Daryl, please," I told the man next to me, and he nodded. He went to grab one of the rifles and walked away.

You can do it, Elena. This is your family, and you have to take care of them. You can do this.

I moved forward, to the table where they were sitting down, Carl was holding his little sister, and I sat next to him. I saw that his hands were still covered in Lori's blood. I swallowed thickly and looked over at Beth.

"Did you eat anything?" I asked softly, and she shook her head. "Alright, can you go and get something ready for us?"

"Sure, give me a second," I watched her stand up and move to the metal shelves that were holding our supply.

"She won't stop," Carl spoke for the first time since I saw him in the courtyard. His voice was hoarse and dry.

"She's tired and hungry," Hershel explained sadly, looking at the little bundle.

"Carl, how about you go and wash your hands before we eat? Daryl and Maggie will be back shortly, and she will be fine."

I saw uncertainty in the boy's eyes, but slowly he stood up and nodded. He stretched his arms to me, trying to handle me the baby, and the breath hitched in my throat.

"No, no. I don't--" Before I could finish, Carl already placed the crying baby in my arms. "Oh."

I sat stiffly on my chair, glancing down at baby's red, scrunched face, her toothless gums, and little fists flying in the air. She was wrapped in one of Lori's t-shirts and had some cotton ripped fabric around her bum.

I took a shaky breath and reached down, checking if she wasn't wet. She was fine in that department. I recked my brain for the old books that I read when I was pregnant and stood up, placing her gently on the table. The shirt was big enough, so I leaned forward, and started wrapping her properly, trapping her arms in the fabric.

"Shh, it's alright." I picked her up, she looked like a small, cute burrito, making me smile gently at that. I placed her in the curve of my arm and swayed my body a little. I lowered my head and took a deep breath, sweet scent of a newborn baby hit my nose, and I couldn't hold my tears any longer.

I turned around, so Hershel wouldn't see my face, and I let the salty drops spill down my cheeks. My blood was pumping fast through my veins when I thought about all the losses. Not just from today, but over the last year. This sweet, little innocent baby will grow up in this world, not knowing anything else. But, she's going to have the biggest, bravest family, who will do anything to ensure her survival.

I hummed quietly, gently wiping the tears from the baby's face, and then mine. She was tired, and that started to overpower the hunger because he shrieks turned into small sobs. The kind of sound that was pulling at my heart.

_"Feeling tired_

_By the fire_

_The long day is over."_

I watched how the baby's eyes fluttered, they were still dark, and her natural color hadn't cleared out. She calmed down, though her little body shook gently, and she was watching me with those big, curious orbs. Ever wondered why kids have such big eyes? It's one of the organs which is already fully developed, not growing after we are born.

_"The wind is gone_

_Asleep at dawn_

_The embers burn on."_

I rocked gently, holding the baby close to my chest. I could see her mouth open, a big yawn escaping her small lips. I was no singer, but my voice was low enough to carry this song's note pleasantly. I looked down at her, wondering how my Amelia looked like, did she also had hair on her head? Did she have my eyes or her fathers?

I closed my eyes for a second, wishing the dark thoughts away. Amelia was dead. But this little wrapped baby was here, alive. I might not be her mother, but I'll be the best damn aunt in the world.

_"With no reprise_

_The sun will rise_

_The long day is over."_

"You have a lovely voice," I flinched when I heard Beth behind me. I turned around, forcing a smile on my face.

"Nah, there's only a handful of songs where I don't sound like a screeching cat," I tried to joke and moved slowly back to the table, making sure not to disturb sleeping baby. I pulled the chair out and sat down, adjusting the girl in my arms.

Beth brought some canned tuna and stale chips to share between us. I reached out and using my teeth, I opened the package.

"Elena?" Carl's cracked voice sounded in the room when he walked back inside. I glanced up at this young boy, who had to put down his own mother, just hours ago. I tilted my head and motioned for him to come closer. He didn't hesitate, just jogged towards me. I shifted the baby girl in my arms again and made space for her brother.

His lanky arms wrapped around my neck, and I used my free hand to circle his back, pulling him to my knees. I had both Grimes' in my grasp, holding to them tightly.

"We're going to be alright," I whispered in his ear, his sheriff's hat digging into my neck. "I won't let anything happen, to you or her, you hear me?"

"Beth?" Maggie's voice came from the entrance, and Carl quickly stood up, making me do the same. The dark-haired woman ran to her sister, and both moved to the table where we stored water, getting the formula ready.

Something pulled at my heart when my eyes landed on Daryl. He was holding his crossbow and was still wrapped in his stupid poncho. He took it out while climbing down the stairs and placed his weapon on the table behind me.

"How she's doin'?"

"Got her to sleep. I think she got tired of crying," I replied softly, watching his eyes. He was solemnly focused on the baby. All the commotion woke up the girl, and she started wailing again.

Daryl didn't even hesitate. He reached out and carefully took her from me, cradling her small body in big arms. She looked so tiny in comparison.

"Shh," The hunter took a bottle from Beth and placed it against the baby's lips. I watched her slowly suck on it, her cries subdued as she slowly drank. "That's it."

Everyone in the room had a small smile on their lips. We've suffered significant losses today, but that view was like a spark of light at the end of the dark corridor. Watching this strong, fearless well-build man, holding a baby was stirring something in my heart. Just when I thought I can't fell any deeper for him, he showed us all yet another side of him. I drew in a long breath, blinking quickly to try to stop the tears in my eyes. Daryl was smiling, like a real smile, the one I saw only a handful of times before.

"She got a name yet?" Dixon asked Carl, who was standing in front of him.

"Not yet, but I was thinking-- maybe Sophia?" I cocked my head, and a sad smile pulled on my lips. "Then there's Carol, too. And-- Andrea. Amy. Jackie. Patricia. Or Lori. I don't know." Carl turned around slightly, hiding his face. This kid had so much compassion in him.

"Ya like that?" Dixon swayed softly, glancing at the newborn. She somehow managed to free herself from the shirt and was reaching out, her small fists trying to touch Daryl's beard. I guess I'll have to work on my swaddle technic. "Huh? Little ass-kicker? Right?"

I snorted, making him glance at me. His face was all lit up, and I had to bit my lip, grip on my heart, pulling harder and harder, the longer I watched him.

"I guess we have to call her somehow for now," I told him through my chuckle.

"That's a good name, right. Little ass-kicker? Ya like that, huh? Ya like that, sweetheart?"

"What we doing now?" Glenn asked, his voice tired when he finally sat down by the table and ate something. We put the baby to sleep in a small box that we found. We placed some towels and sheets inside, so she was comfortable. Beth was to stay with the baby for now, so both now layed in the woman's cell. I personally walked Carl to his bed, kissing him softly on a forehead, telling him to go to sleep.

"We rest. Tomorrow morning we going to retrace T-Dog's path. Try to find Carol. Get rid of the walkers and finally burn them," I said, standing with my arms crossed. "We'll need more formula soon, so we need to think of going for a run. Maggie, Glenn, I want you to check maps and see where we could go. And we need to keep an eye on walkers outside. We can't let them pile up."

"What about a watch?" Hershel asked, rubbing his eyes. He was tired, fuck, we all were. I nodded and took a shaky breath.

"Yes, we need all of us tomorrow. Maggie, Glenn. I want you to go and search for formula. In the morning, we will split. Glenn, Axel, and I will go to the generator room, lock it down. Daryl, Oscar, and Carl, you'll go and search for Carol. Hershel, I want you to think of what meds we might need, and Maggie, you'll take a watch in the morning until your run. I'll take the first shift through the night."

"I'll take the second," Daryl interrupted me before I could appoint anyone else. I wanted to ask him if he was sure, but I thought better of it. It wouldn't be the first time when he would have only a few hours of sleep. With Rick going slightly off the wagon, Daryl will do anything to ensure the group's safety.

"Great. Let's get some sleep, people. Maggie, could you please show Axel and Oscar to the empty cells?"

I didn't wait for a reply, I crossed the cell block silently, going for the cell I was storying my packs. I pulled my sniper out of the bag and binoculars. I took tobacco and threw it in the empty backpack alongside with water bottle and a book.

I climbed down the stairs and walked into the cell we stored our gear, I took a few candles and some blankets. I could at least try to be comfortable while staring into the dark night.

I sat crossed-legged on the table, a small candle in front of me. I was holding the book about herbs, trying to focus my mind on the print in front of me. My Barrett layed down next to me, close enough for a quick reach, and the binoculars were hanging from my neck. I would look through them every few minutes to check that no dangers are coming our way.

There were plenty of herbs in Georgia; when used correctly, it could benefit us not just food-wise but also medically. I mean, it's something we would have to consider in the future. Medicine will eventually be gone, and we had to think about other means to keep us healthy. People in medieval times managed; we could too. I hope.

I checked my watch and sighed. That's another thing, I'll have to look for some batteries soon, and try to figure out how to change them. It was nearly three in the morning, longer than I should be here, but I needed Daryl to be as rested as possible. But I started to feel exhaustion overcome my body, eyelids were getting heavy, and I couldn't properly focus on words I was reading.

I sighed and reached for the backpack, taking a walkie-talkie out of it.

"Daryl?" I spoke quietly, knowing that he should wake up quickly. It took a few seconds before the radio crackled to life.

"Is time?" Daryl's voice was throaty, deep. I loved the sound of it, moments after he wakes up, it always sent shivers down my body, and now wasn't any different. And he wasn't even in this same room as me.

"Yeah, it's time," I said lowly, and put the radio down, not expecting an answer.

I stood up and brought the binoculars up to my eyes. It was dark, that's for sure. And there were about dozens of walkers clinging onto the fence, nothing that we can't deal with in the morning. Assuming they won't attract more in the next few hours. I couldn't see any lights and couldn't hear any other noises, but distant growls of geeks.

I put the goggles on the table and lifted my arms up, pushing my chest out a little, stretching my back. I heard a few pops in my bones. I bend down, grabbing my calves, and touching knees with my forehead. I stayed like that for a few seconds, enjoying the pull at the joints and muscles. Until I heard someone clear their throat behind me. I straightened up, pulling my gun up, spinning and pointing it at the intruder.

But it was just Daryl. Very flushed and red-faced Daryl.

"That was quick," I commented, collecting my things and putting them into the backpack. He shifted and touched his neck, avoiding looking at me.

"Um, I didn't really sleep."

"Everybody else?"

"They fine. Lil' ass-kicker was crying a bit, but Maggie handled it," He replied and put his crossbow on a table, next to the rifle he brought with himself.

"You want my gun?" I asked him, pointing at my sniper, but he shook his head.

"Nah, I got this one."

"Alrighty, well, I'll see you in the morning," I said, putting my pack on, and moving towards the doors.

"El, ya OK?" Daryl touched my arm when I tried to pass him, and I sighed heavily. I glanced up at his eyes and stirred, wrapping my arms around him. Dixon pulled me closer to him, one hand on the small of my back, the other on my head, tangled in my hair. He placed his chin on top of my head, and I could feel his steady heartbeat.

"I want to say that I gotta be. But you know I'm not. And I know you aren't either." I said, my voice muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

"We will be fine," Daryl whispered, his hot breath blowing at loose strands of my hair.

"I'm just tired. How many more losses we have to suffer. And now Rick gone bonkers."

"Yeah, I've heard." I lifted my head to look at him, furrowing my brows. He bit his lips, and I saw him glancing at my neck.

"I'll fucking kill Glenn. He had one job. Just one." I growled, clenching my jaw.

"I noticed before and asked after ya left. Not his fault."

"I'm fine. Rick is, grieving, probably not realizing properly what's happening around him."

"That's not an excuse," Daryl's jaw set, and he brought his hand to my neck, gently touching sore spot with his ruff fingertips. The goosebumps immediately covered my whole body, and I closed my eyes for a second. He froze his movements, and I snapped my eyes back open, watching his face. He was already glancing down, his pupils dilated, with a deeper blue in his eyes than usual.

Unconsciously I licked my dry lips, glancing down at his thin ones, thinking how would they feel on mine and on my bare skin. But then I thought of how he would react, imagining all the worse scenarios. And I remember the look on his face when he was holding Grimes' baby, how I thought that he would make a great father one day. And that's something I can't give him.

I swallowed harshly and looked away, stepping back from Daryl. I forced a smile and patted his chest.

"I'm going to sleep, let me know if there's a trouble." The hunter cleared his throat and stepped aside, allowing me to leave the guard tower.

When the downstairs doors closed behind me, I leaned my back on the cold metal, slowly slipping to the floor. I hid my face in my hands, sobbing quietly.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, thank you so much for all the comments! They mean so much to me and encourage me to keep writing. I'm not gonna lie since I came back to work it's really hard, I'm on my feet for nearly 10 hours Mon-Fri, and come home exhausted. Luckily I have several chapters already written, and so for all the people who crave Daryl and Elena's relationship to take forward.... soon. Sooner than you think. Be patiant and keep reading!  
> Cheers :)

**Day 294**

We all sat down in the main room, eating a quick breakfast before carrying on with work. Maggie, Glenn, Daryl, and I spent some time looking over the maps, circling potential places to check. Not just for a formula, but for ammunition and medications too.

I heard loud steps, coming from the entrance leading deeper into the prison, and a second later, Rick walked into the room. We all looked over at him, I made sure that my face stays blank, placing my plate down on the ground and stood up.

"Everybody OK?"

"Yeah, we are," Maggie answered, glancing at the sheriff from her bowl. He changed his shirt, and it looked like he managed to wash out the blood from his skin and hair. But what worried me was that crazy look in his eyes. I knew better than anybody what grief could do to a person, and I was scared that Rick will hurt himself.

"What about you?" Hershel asked gently, always a father figure.

"Cleared out the boiler block."

"How many were there?" Daryl asked from beside me. I was leaning on the railing in front of him, and Oscar stood on the other side of the staircase. We need more chairs, definitely.

"I don't know. Dozen, two dozen. I have to get back. Just wanted to check on Carl." Rick patted the boy's shoulder and started to walk away.

"Rick, we can handle taking out the bodies," Glenn said after the man, standing up. "You don't have to."

"No, I do." The sheriff's face scrunched and his jaw clenched. He walked over to Daryl and me, looking at me. His gaze shifted to my neck, and he tilted his head. I smiled at him, trying to show that I'm fine and that he didn't scare me away.

"Everyone have a gun and a knife?"

"Yeah, we do. I set up a watchtower rotation and picking walkers through the fence," I replied in a soft voice, making Rick nod.

"But we don't have a lot of ammo," Daryl added, biting his bottom lip and glaring daggers at Rick.

"Maggie and I were planning on making a run this afternoon," Glenn bumped in. "Found a phone book and checked it on the map. Some places we can hit, look for bullets and formula."

Rick's body stiffened at the last word. The fact was that he didn't even look at the newborn.

"We cleared out the generator room. Axel's there trying to fix it." Daryl said in a gruff voice.

"We going to sweep lower levels as well. And if we can get lights working, clearing the rest of the prison will be easy as pie." I added. "We got it, Rick."

"Good, good," The sheriff replied and marched out, back to where he came from. Hershel called out after him, but there was no response.

"Alrighty, let's do it, guys. Daryl, take Oscar and Carl. And fucking be careful. Mags, Glenn, grab the bags and the map. I'll go and see if Axel finished." I told them, taking a thin pipe from the corner, our instruments to 'pop the walkers'.

Axel was, in fact, done when I got to the generators. We had a way of running the electricity through the prison, but we had to be careful about how we use it. We would have to make runs, make sure that we stock up on diesel. The man found some books about how to operate it and I told him, I will read it tonight, so there's more than just one person who knows what to do.

We walked outside, and I noticed that Maggie and Glenn already waiting by the gate, car ready. I held up the keys, and Axel went to distract the remaining walkers while I opened the gate.

"Drive safely," I told them before they drove off, and I shut the gate behind them.

"OK, let's get rid of those fuckers," I told Axel when I approached him. He glanced at me, snickering under his fancy mustache. We walked into the catwalk, to get rid of the walkers.

"You got a foul mouth for a lady."

"Where the hell did you get the idea that I'm a lady?" I furrowed my brows at him and stabbed through the fence at the walker's head.

"Your accent, you not from the south." He pushed a crowbar in the geek's brain, and we watched it fell to the ground.

"Chicago. And then, DC." I said simply, but I knew enough about what kind of person he is to expect more questions.

"And you really were a fed?" Here we go. I looked him up and down, smirking, answering in a casual voice.

"Behavioral Analysis Unit, to be precise."

Axel whistled and looked at me surprised, while we kept killing walkers. I stepped to the left, finishing our conversation and working in the scorching sun.

We were working for a few hours when I noticed some movements from the trees. At this point, there were only maybe a dozen walkers left, and I wanted to finish it and wrap it up. But that movement-- a person slowly emerged from the tree line. It was a dark-skinned woman with dreadlocks, carrying a red shopping basket. Geeks can't fucking carry things, right?

"Axel, go get someone!" I told the man, stopping my movements. He looked over to where I was glancing.

"Holy shit."

"Just go now!"

Axel ran off while I watched the woman approach the fence, only the metal chain was separating us now. Her eyes were deep brown, she was definitely alive. I looked her up and down and noticed that she was bleeding from her leg. And I wasn't the only one, she touched the spot on her thigh, and when she brought the hand up, walkers near her started to get interested.

"Fuck!" I muttered and could hear running, and I looked behind me, Rick and Carl were coming towards me.

"Carl, watch the gate!" I shouted at him and moved towards the main gate, searching for the right key.

"We don't know her!" Rick growled, his voice rough and emotionless.

"She got a baby formula," I stated and quickly unlocked the gate, pushing it aside. I pulled my machete out and made my way towards the woman. I could see her swinging her own blade, and even though she was hurt, she was still incredibly skillful. I mean, she had a fucking katana. I slashed at the geek that was the closest, and pushed another to the fence, stabbing its head.

"Come on!" I shouted at the woman, but she got another walker and then fell down to the ground.

"Fuck! Rick!" I yelled over my shoulder and jogged towards her. There were three geeks left, but I spotted more, making their way from the forest. I heard shots being fired, and seconds later, the sheriff was standing next to me, lifting unconscious woman from the ground. I swang my body and kicked at incoming geek, stabbing another one that was too close to Rick and Katana girl. I moved to the backpack she dropped and pulled in over my shoulder and grabbed the basket with my left hand.

"Elena!" Carl shouted, and I sprinted for the gate, moving to the right. The boy fired twice and motioned for me to hurry up. When I was safe behind the fence, Carl slammed the gate shut and locked the chain in place.

Rick was already halfway through the yard. I ran faster, pumping my legs, and caught up to the sheriff. I saw Beth, Hershel, and Axel on the outer yard, waiting nervously at us.

"Beth, take the baby inside. Hershel, get your bag, she's hurt." I started ordering when they came to our earshot. The woman started shifting in Rick's arms, and I came closer when she opened her eyes, looking terrified around her.

"Hey, shh. You're inside, there are no walkers here. You're safe," I spoke softly, trying to calm her down, but she still was looking at us distrustfully. I couldn't exactly blame her, we were strangers after all in an unknown location.

"Carl, get the blanket. Elena, water and towel," Rick said when we walked into the main room, and I ran towards our cells, ignoring the other people. I pulled the clean towels from the closest one and jogged back.

"El?"

"Not now, Dixon!"

I grabbed a canteen from the table and moved to where Rick placed Katana girl. He poured the water over her neck and face, waking her up properly. She shook her head to clear her vision while Rick was reassuringly talking to her.

"Hey, hey. Look at me," The sheriff told her. "Who are you?"

She didn't reply, but looked franticly around, not recognizing her surroundings.

"It's all right," Rick continued, offering her water bottle, but the only move she did was trying to reach for her blade. It was discarded on the floor, I put it back in its sheath before, and now I lifted it up.

"I'm sorry, but for now, we're going to keep it," I told her softly, passing the blade to Carl, and pushing him further behind me.

"We're not gonna hurt you unless you try something stupid first, all right?" Rick added, pinning her arms down.

"Rick," Daryl's sharp voice echoed through the room, making me look over my shoulder at the hunter. "Who the hell's this?"

"You want to tell us your name?" That question was directed to the stranger, she sat up slowly, glaring around the room, not replying.

"Y'all come on in here."

"Everything alright?"

"Ya're gonna want to see this." Daryl was smiling gently, and I was utterly confused. Rick looked at me, and I motioned for him to go. I crouched down next to the women, her dark eyes observing my smallest movements.

"Go. I'll be there in a second. Carl, get her bag," I spoke to the boy, but my attention was solely on our guest. I heard their footsteps retracing into the cells, leaving me alone with Katana girl. "You're going to be safe in here, doors are locked, no walkers around. And Hershel, that old guy? He's our doctor, he can patch you up."

"I didn't ask for your help," Her voice was hoarse but gentler than I expected.

"I understand. But you came here, and you looked like you're on a mission. And you had a baby formula with you, in a shopping basket. Now, I'm going to leave you water, and if you're hungry, there's some food over there." I pointed to the stocked shelves behind. "I'll give you a few minutes to think about it, and when I come back, I'd like you to talk to me."

I took one last glance at her and stood up, my knees popping while I did that. I walked over to where Daryl stood and pushed past him, letting him lock the door after me. The hunter led us to one of the back cells. I nearly walked into Rick's back when he stopped suddenly, looking inside. I stepped to the right to see better, and I took in a sharp breath at sight in front of me.

I squeezed past the men and threw myself at the woman that sat down on the bottom bunk.

"Carol!" She hugged me tightly, her body shaking from tears. I pulled back, touching her tired face and clammy skin. I helped her stand up, and Rick was next to embrace her.

"Thank God," He said, wrapping his arms around her skinny frame. Then it was Hershel's turn, and Carl's. The sheriff glanced over at Daryl.

"How?"

"Poor thing fought her way into a cell," Dixon explained, his lips lifting slightly at the happy reunion. "Must've passed out, dehydrated."

Beth moved forward, still holding Little Ass-Kicker in her arms, and Carol put a hand to her mouth at that view. A wide smile spread on her face, and she turned her head to Rick and me. None of us said a word, but our expressions must've told her what happened. Carol's face twisted in sorrow, her bottom lip trembled.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She put her hands on Ricks's cheeks, and he leaned down, bringing his forehead to hers for a second before pulling back. I bit my lip, focusing on pain there, instead of the one in my heart.

When we walked back into the common room, the dark-skinned woman was sitting down on one of the chairs. Her left leg was stretched in front of her, and she was glaring in our direction.

"We can tend that wound for you, give you a little food, water, and send you on your way," Rick told her, stopping in his tracks beside her.

"But we would really appreciate it if you could tell us where you got that formula from," I added in a softer voice. The woman looked between us, contemplating for a moment before answering.

"The supplies were dropped by a young Asian guy with a pretty girl." I clenched my fists at that, and I heard Daryl shift nervously in his spot.

"What happened?" Rick asked her.

"Were they attacked?" Hershel wanted to know, coming a little bit closer. Worry was evident on his face, and I couldn't blame him. I mean-- where the fuck are they? Are they alive?

"They were taken." The woman replied, glancing at the older man.

"Taken by who?"

"By the same son of a bitch who shot me," She spat angrily.

"Hey. These are our people." Rick bent down, so his face was on the same level as hers. But his voice carried more power and forcefulness. "You tell us what happened now." He reached out and placed his hand on a woman's wound, making her jump to her feet.

"Don't, don't you ever touch me again!" She pointed a finger at the sheriff, and in the corner of my eye, I could see Daryl lifting his crossbow.

"Enough!" I shouted, coming between two people. "Rick, let me fucking deal with it." I put my hand on his chest and gently pushed the man, making him take a few steps back. He huffed and glanced down at me, but my face was blank, stern.

"Fine," He spat, and walked over to Daryl, giving me space. Funny, how just months ago he would be playing a good cop and now our roles reversed.

"Please, sit back down. I don't want you to injure your leg more," I told the Katana girl, making sure to not touch her, but my hands were outstretched, just in case she would need help.

"I understand that you don't trust us. And I bet you can understand that we have this same issue, here." I spoke again when the woman took back her seat. "Can you tell me something more about the person who took our friends?"

"There's a town, Woodbury, about seventy-five survivor. I think they were taken there," She started talking, and I gave her a small smile, encouraging her to continue. "It's run by this guy. He calls himself the Governor-- pretty boy, charming, Jim Jones type."

I sat straighter, surprised that she knew who that even was.

"He got muscle?" Daryl asked, but she didn't take her eyes off me.

"Paramilitary wannabes. They have armed sentries on every wall."

"So charismatic guy, with blind followers and ammunition greater than ours," I glanced behind the shoulder at Rick and the back at the Katana girl. "Do you know a way in?"

"Place is secure from walkers, but we could slip our way through," I really liked her voice. It was low, nearly a whisper, but it carried an inner strength.

"Alrighty. But how did you know about this place?"

"They told me. I was hiding behind the car, and they talked. Said that it's a straight line, back to the prison."

"If you know that, then why this Governor didn't show up on our doorstep yet?"

"The guy he sent after me, who did this," She pointed to her leg, scowling. "He came in after they spoke. He didn't hear them."

"This is Hershel, father of the girl who was taken," Rick said, pointing at the older man. "He'll take care of that."

The sheriff motioned for Daryl and me to follow him, and I stood up from my seat.

"Thank you," I told the Katana girl, before walking away.

"How do you know we can trust her?" Oscar asked, crossing his arms. We all gathered on the far end of the cellblock, by the stairs, to discuss what we found out.

"This is Maggie and Glenn!" Beth said, looking around, not understanding what the hesitation was about. "What are we even debating?"

"We ain't," Daryl said in his gruff voice.

"Exactly, we going there. But we need a plan." I said, running a hand over my face.

"Well, this place sounds pretty secure. You two can't go alone," Rick stated, making me glare at him.

"I didn't expect to."

"I'll go," Beth didn't even hesitate, making me smile at her. She became a fighter, so much more durable than a scared girl we met on a farm.

"Me too." Axel stepped forward.

"I'm in," Oscar added, and I looked triumphantly at the sheriff.

He nodded and lifted his lips a little, at the display of loyalty, even from the new members, who weren't with us for longer than twenty-four hours.

"OK, but we can't all go," Rick stated, looking around the room. "Daryl, Oscar, Elena, and I. We'll take the woman with us, to show us a way. We're gonna take Hyundai and Daryl's bike, park in the safe distance. Beth, I need you to stay and look after the baby and Carol. And Axel, I need someone on watch at all times."

"You got it, boss," The blonde man replied, happy to have a job and Rick's trust.

"OK, everyone, grab your weapons."

And this is precisely what I did. I walked into Daryl's and mine storage cell and pulled up my duffel bag. I heard his steps, and a second later, the hunter was beside me. I stripped off my shirt, leaving me in my wife-beater. I checked that all my knives are in the place, secured in the reins, and I pulled a jacket from the bag. I shrugged it on and put spare magazines for MP5 into its pockets, all five of them. All we got, but there weren't any amount of bullets I wouldn't use to save Maggie and Glenn. Next, I checked that gun itself, seeing that the clip was half full, and placed it back in, putting the safety on. I put the strap across my body, the gun stored across my back.

I made sure that my Glock is secured in the holster and reached for the spare handgun, another S&W we found on the road. I placed it in the belt on my left side and then checked that the hunting knife is secured on my thigh. Spare clips went into the pockets of my pants.

I reached out for the Barrett, but Daryl's hoarse voice stopped me.

"Ain't that overkill?"

I glanced at him and shifted my body, so I was facing him, putting hands on my hips.

"I look like Lara fucking Croft. Don't destroy my dreams."

"Just sayin'." Daryl shrugged, but I could see a smirk on his handsome face. He grabbed one of the rifles and stashed spare magazines in the pockets of his vest. He also packed flash bangs and tear gas into one of the bags. I really wished that we had some actual explosives, but we had to do with what we had.

"Look, we don't know what we getting into. I prefer to have it with me," I finally said, taking two spare clips for the sniper rifle I had and quickly assembled the gun, leaving the pods behind.

I patted Daryl's shoulder, letting him know to pull over. From what I saw on the map, that was enough distance to come in unnoticed and unheard, but not far enough to walk. Dixon stopped his bike on the side of the road, and when I get off, he layed the machine on the side, covering it with some dead branches and leaves.

The car parked behind us, and Rick, Oscar, and Katana girl spilled out, gathering their weapons.

"They have patrols, good spot to park," The Black woman spoke when I came closer, and I gave her a sharp nod.

"How far? The night's coming." Rick asked, looking up at the sky.

"According to a map a mile, maybe two," I told him, taking out my machete and swinging MP5 to the front, to have easier access. We stepped into the woods and started trekking towards our destination.

We let the woman go first, after all, she has actually been there, while I just memorized the map. Oscar was walking next to her, with Daryl, Rick, and I behind.

"I know what you did for me, for my baby while I was working things out," Rick spoke, glancing to the left at the hunter. "Thank you."

"It's what we do," Daryl replied, rifle in his hands, but his jaw clenched when he glared at Rick. "But do that shit to El again, and I'll stomp yur ass."

I smacked my lips at this display, observing both men from the corner of my eye.

"I know. Elena, I can't express how sorry I am." The sheriff said, his voice full of regret.

"Nothing to worry about. But hey, don't try that again, I might not be as understanding," I replied, winking at Rick, making the men chuckle.

"Down!" Daryl whisper-yelled, when he heard and noticed walkers emerging from the trees.

"Formation, no gunfire," Rick stated, and I pushed to the front. Formation. My knives always first, I quickly grabbed two of them from the holsters and threw them. One and then the other, hitting geeks in between the eyes. I stepped aside, allowing Daryl to take a shot from his crossbow, while Rick and Oscar jogged towards other walkers.

I ran forward, collecting my knives and Daryl's bolt, I looked around, and we were starting to get overrun, but there was an opening to my right.

"Rick!" I motioned for them to move and stabbed a geek that was coming at me. One of my knives slid in its head easily, making the body fell to the ground. Rick took the lead when we run through the woods, shorty coming to an opening, with a small cabin in the middle of it. The sheriff jogged towards the door and pushed it open.

"Get the door. Keep it down," I crouched down behind some desk. The room was dark, the windows were boarded with planks, and so only a minimal amount of light was getting in through the cracks. But it was the smell that got my attention. Heavy, one that I would recognize everywhere. Decomposition.

"That smell. It's foul." Daryl pressed back of his hand to his nose, and that's saying something. If he complained about it, it was bad, like really bad. We moved forward, Rick and Daryl raising their flashlights.

"What the hell is that smell?" Oscar asked, disgusted.

"Probably a fox, or what's left of one." But then Rick shone the light in the direction of something on the floor. Nope. Not a fox. I scrunched my face and looked away, trying to see if there is anything else in here.

"Guess Lassie went home," Daryl commented, making me snort. He looked around at me and cocked his brow.

"Your sense of humor will never cease to amuse me," I told him, moving towards one of the tables, glancing through some scattered papers on it. There was a loud pounding on the door, telling us that walkers finally caught up to us. We can't stay here for long.

Rick spotted something in the corner in the room, moving his flashlight in that direction. He whistled quietly, and Daryl and I crept to the small bed. The covers were dirty, and in the light of a torch, I could see dust above it. And there was a visible shape of a person, laying down under the comforter. The sheriff grabbed the fabric in his hand and, in a swift motion, pulled it off. A man, a very alive man, sprung up to his feet.

"Who the hell are you?" He shouted at us, his eyes glancing nervously between the three of us. He had a checkered shirt with a fisherman vest over it. Small red beanie hat covered his head, and he was holding a rifle, pointing it at Rick.

"We don't mean any harm," Rick stated in a calm voice, but the man didn't budge.

"Get out of my house!"

"OK. OK, we will, but we can't right now," The sheriff spread his hands, lowering his blade a little, to show the man that we are not here to harm him in any way.

"Now!"

"Shut him up," The Katana girl whispered, and I understood why. The walkers outside riled up from all the noise, and they started pounding on the door with new vigor, their growls getting louder.

"Get out right now!"

"There are walkers outside," Rick told him sternly, but the guy looked like he's crazy, his eyes never staying in one place. His hands were shaking, and he was constantly shifting.

"I'll call the cops," He lowered his voice but was still pointing his gun at us. I exchanged a look with Daryl and Rick. Was this guy for real? Did he not understand what the fuck was happening outside of his cabin? Or did he lost his mind somewhere along the line, maybe after or maybe even before? If so, how the hell is he still alive?

"I am a cop," Rick told him, and I lowered my machete a little as well.

"Sir, my name is Elena James. I am with the FBI," That got man's attention, and I continued in a soft voice. "We are looking for some missing person, but there are dangerous people outside. To not compromise our case, we need a place to hide for a few minutes. Please, sir, put your gun down."

He looked between Rick and me, slowly lowering his rifle. But then something shifted in his eyes, and he rose it back again.

"Prove it! Where's your badge?" Oh, fuck you, crazy prick. We don't have fucking time for it. In the corner of my eye, I could see that Katana girl had similar thoughts because very slowly, she silently took her sword out.

"It's in my pocket," Rick told him and placed his blade and torch on the floor. "I'm just gonna reach down, nice and slow."

The sheriff moved his arm slightly, making the crazy guy distracted long enough. Rick stepped forward, grabbing the rifle and shoving it to the side. Out of sheer luck and reflexes engraved in my brain, I moved to the left, avoiding the bullet that hit the wall. In the fucking spot, I was standing seconds before. Nice one Rick, really.

"Let go of me," Crazy guy was yelling while Rick struggled to get a proper hold of the weapon, trying to shove the guy, but to no avail.

I was panting heavily as Rick finally got the guy in a chokehold, putting a hand over his mouth to shut him up. But the only thing he got from it was a bite on Rick's hand, and the guy freed himself. He was shouting, Rick cried out of pain, and fucking walkers were nearly breaking through the door.

The guy started running towards the door, yelling for help. When he ran past the Katana girl, she finally rose her blade and stabbed the man through his back, just before he could open the door. She pulled her sword out and flickered her wrist, getting rid of loose droplets.

The man fell to the ground, struggling for breath for a moment before he stopped moving. I walked forward and kicked his body with my boot, but he was unmoving, dead.

"See Dixon, that's why I never let you go alone. Alone makes you fucking crazy," I stated, smacking my lips. Daryl huffed under his nose, shaking his head, and Rick was watching Katana girl with wary eyes. I looked through the cracks in the window, spotting more and more walkers coming from the woods. Daryl leaned on the glass next to me, also trying to see what's happening outside. The geeks started to brake the planks; it was dangerous for us to stay here.

"Remember the Alamo?" Daryl asked, looking over his shoulder at Rick. My eyes went wide, and I swallowed thickly.

"Do we have another exit?" I retorted, and Dixon pointed to the other side of the room, and I nodded, licking my lips.

"Daryl, help me. You get the door." Rick ordered, standing over the dead body.

"You've got to be kidding me." Oscar shook his head in disbelief.

"He's dead. You and Elena, check the back."

I quickly moved in there, cracking the door open just a little. "Clear."

From my spot by the back door, I watched the men holding the dead body when Rick started counting.

"One, two, three." At three, Katana yanked the door open. Rick and Daryl shoved the crazy guy forwards, knocking down a few walkers standing next to the door. The second body was out, the woman slammed the door shut, and they jogged towards us.

We got out through the back, ordering the Black woman to lead the way to that damn town. To fucking save Glenn and Maggie.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm extremely proud of this chapter, so please let me know what you think about it! Enjoy!

When we crept to the outside of Woodbury, it was already dark. We hid behind the cars, watching big metal gates. Next to us, there were some old train carriages, acting as an extra defense mechanism. There were two people on watch, pacing, and looking out for trouble. One with an automatic and the other with a bow.

"Hey, hey," Oscar got our attention, pointing behind where Katana girl used to be. Now it was just an empty space.

"Damn it!" Rick whispered and moved back, so we were covered by a Jeep. "We need to downsize."

I looked down at myself and shook my head. No way I'm leaving any of these guns. But I put my machete back in my belt and swang Barrett, so it hung loosely on my back. MP5 in my grip that will do.

"We can't check all those houses," Daryl commented, and I agreed, but then what other option we had? Before I could think of something, there was a sound of twigs breaking, from behind us, and we all turned to look. The black woman came back, her knees bent, and she motioned for us to follow her.

We circled around a little, and she led us to the building connected directly to the wall. There was a small entrance, with wooden planks nailed to the top half of it. Crouching down, we all walked through it, into some sort of storage room.

"It's where you've been held?" Rick asked the woman, and I saw how tense she was, glancing around the room.

"I was questioned."

"Any idea where else they could be?"

Daryl silently moved towards the door and a window that was covered in a flowery curtain. He pushed it aside slightly, looking out on the streets. "I thought you said there was a curfew."

"This street is packed during the day. Those are stragglers," She retorted, trying to defend herself.

"Anyone comes in here, we're sitting ducks," Rick commented and looked over at Katana. "We gotta move."

"They could be in his apartment."

"Yeah? What if they ain't?" Daryl spat in her face, making me roll my eyes. Antagonizing the only person who's willing to help us, is a shit idea.

"Then we'll look somewhere else," She replied, her voice low, and she looked directly in Dixon's eyes. Huh, I think I might like her. Anyone who isn't easily intimidated by this broad man got a plus in my books.

"You said you could help us."

"I'm doing what I can."

Rick moved back, motioning to follow him, and we stood by the curtain separating two rooms.

"If this goes south, we're cutting her loose." The sheriff stated, looking mainly at me. I sighed but nodded nonetheless.

"You think she's leading us into a trap?" Oscar asked, looking over his shoulder at a woman who was glaring in our direction.

"Right now, it's the blind leading the blind. We'll split up," Daryl commented, and it seemed to be the truth. Before I could add my opinion, there was a push on the door and the sound of a key in the lock. My eyes went wide, and I pushed Daryl back, so we could hide behind the door.

He spun me around, so I was hidden, his body in front of me. I clenched my hands on my gun, ready to use it. My heart was hammering in my chest, and I had to control my breathing to not make a noise. Rick and Oscar hid on the other side of the entrance, and we listened. There was only one set of footsteps, followed by the sound of the front door closing.

"I know you're in here," The male voice spoke, echoing in the room. "I saw you moving from outside. All right now. You're not supposed to be in here, and you know it. Who's in here?"

He was getting closer, and when I saw his shadow creeping into this room, Rick quickly shoved the man to the wall. He pressed his forearm into the man's throat and pointed his Python at his head.

"Shut up!" Rick ordered. "Get on your knees."

I stepped aside and aimed my own gun at the stranger, his eyes going wild at the sight of all of us. He fell to the ground but stayed silent, a smart move.

"Hands behind your back. Zip tie him." Daryl pulled the plastic band from one of his pockets, and bind the man's wrists, pulling harder than necessary.

"Where are our people?" Rick asked him, but the man just shook his head.

"I dunno."

"You're golding some of our people. Where the hell are they?"

"I don't know. I swear."

"Open your mouth," Rick said and reached for some cloth from the floor, shoving it in man's mouth. I came closer and hit the guy in the head with a butt of my MP5. If he doesn't know anything, we're just wasting our time.

Rick and Daryl moved the unconscious man to the back, hiding him from the view. Just when we were about to come up with a plan, where to check next, we heard gunshots. They came from the northern side of the compound. There was shouting, and I could see through the window, people running around. Some were going back to their homes, and the men with guns run towards the commotion.

We used that as a distraction, silently following them, to the right. There was a big separate building, something like an old factory or a warehouse. We crept through the entrance and walked down the corridor until we came to a wall with a small window. On the other side, we could hear voices and movements.

I ducked just bellow the small glass and tried to listen.

"On your feet, move. Let's go." Someone inside said, and there was shuffling, footsteps coming in our direction. Rick and Daryl reached out into the hunter's backpack, taking out flashbang and teargas. Well, that's going to be fun. We run to the other side of the corridor, the men last, and they threw flashbacks to the floor. Into the room, we heard voices from. I stood by the corner, when the loud bangs went off, covering two men while they joined us.

When I saw that room was filled with enough smoke, I pushed forward, Rick beside me, our guns up, ready to shoot on sight. That was until we spotted two figures with cloth bags over the heads. They had their wrists tied up at the front and were coughing ruffly. I pulled the cloth off, revealing Maggie, and I grabbed her arm.

"Come on!"

The other person was Glenn, and we led them out, rushing for the exit, while Daryl and Oscar covered our backs. We ran out of the warehouse into the street, looking for an opening, for a way out of this place.

"Here, this way!" Katana girl said, pointing at the nearest building. Daryl busted the door, his crossbow ready, checking out the room. I urged Maggie to get in and closed the door when we all came in. Oscar was watching through the window. And that was when I realized that Katana wasn't with us. Fuck, fuckity, fuck.

"Ain't no way out back here," Daryl stated after checking the room.

"Rick, how did you find us?" Maggie asked, but he ignored her, looking at Glenn.

"How bad are you hurt?" The Asian man was propped against some cabinets, panting heavily. His face was bruised and still bleeding. I could see the red marks on his upper torso, and he was holding his stomach. And Maggie was wearing his shirt. Something inside me awoken, this same anger I felt in that shop, weeks ago. If those bastards did something to Maggie, I'd personally kill every single one of them.

"Ah, we'll be all right," Glenn replied, but his voice was restrained.

"Where's that woman?" Maggie asked, looking around, and I smack my lips.

"She never came in," I said, running a hand over my face. How the fuck are we going to get out?

"Maybe she was spying," Oscar commented, trying to make sense of all this. "Can we go look for her?"

"No, we gotta get 'em outta here," Rick stated, not leaving any space for arguments. "She's on her own."

"Daryl, this was Merle," Glenn spoke while trying to stand up. I froze in my spot and glanced at injured man, and then at the hunter. "He was-- he did this."

Daryl's face was emotionless, but I could see the vein in his neck pop out, pulsing rapidly.

"Ya saw him?"

"Face to face." Maggie was putting some discarded shirt on Glenn, so he won't have to run around half-naked. "He threw a walker at me. He was gonna execute us."

He did fucking what? My eyes darted around the room, and I let a shaky breath out. Fuck. That's-- that's changes everything. I knew Daryl well enough to know that he won't go without his brother. And Merle-- why would he do this. If he was the man that kidnapped them in the first place, why Glenn and Maggie didn't just bring him home to the prison.

"So, my brother's this Governor?" Daryl asked, his voice was abrasive, and he was biting his bottom lip.

"No. He's somebody else," Maggie explained. "Your brother's his lieutenant or something."

"Does he know I'm still with ya?"

"He does now. Rick, I'm sorry. We told him where the prison was," Glenn stated, looking apologetically at the sheriff.

"But-- was Merle the one to take you?" I asked, coming closer, and I watched them both nod. I licked my lips and snorted. "Why the fuck would he do this. Why didn't you bring him back?"

"It's Merle. I couldn't trust him!" Glenn huffed at me, and I chuckled dryly.

"Elena, it's not the time. Glenn, no need to apologize." Rick moved to the window, pulling the drapes aside, checking how the streets are looking.

"They're gonna be looking for us."

"We have to get back," Rick confirmed. "Can you walk?"

But I was watching Dixon. I had a bad feeling, deep, down in my belly. His eyes were vacant, darting from one side of the room to the other. He was pacing and chewing on his inner cheek.

"Hey, if Merle's alive, I-- I need to see him," Daryl finally spoke, when Glenn stood up and moved towards the doors.

"Not now," Rick told him sternly. I was breathing heavily, looking between two men. "We're in hostile territory."

"He's my brother! I ain't got--"

"Look what he did! Look, we gotta get out of here now."

Daryl's voice softened, and he looked at Rick pleadingly. "Maybe I can talk to him and work something out."

"No, no, no. You're not thinking straight. Look, no matter what they say, they're hurt. Glenn can barely walk. How will we make it out if we get overrun by walkers, or this Governor catches up to us? I need you! Are you with me?" Daryl looked up at me, and I swallowed harshly, walking towards him.

I placed my hand on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly. "We need you. We can come back or leave a message. But now, we need to get them out, Daryl." I said softly, but my voice was croaked. I wanted to see Merle as well. Even though he was a douchebag, he was my friend, back at the quarry. And he was the brother of a man I'm in love with.

"Yeah. OK," Daryl finally replied, but his face fell.

We threw two tins onto the streets, waiting for them to fill up with gas. Then we moved out to the right, towards the buses that were placed in front of the big metal gate, our way out. Rick was first, and I ran right behind him. We came around the corner and heard shots and shouts, but my focus was on the men on top of big vehicles. I stopped and rose my gun. Looking through the scope, I fired, killing the first one quickly while Rick got the other.

We crossed the street, shooting at the guards in front of us.

"Behind us!" Daryl shouted, and I stopped next to him, firing in that direction, until my automatic clicked, stating that I was out of bullets.

"Reload!" I shouted, and Daryl yanked my arm.

"Go, take cover!" I heard Rick, and soon we were all hidden behind the wall in some alcove, which led to another building. I crouched down and released the magazine, pulling out a new one from my jacket.

"How many?" Rick asked when I slammed the clip in its place.

"Hard to see."

"Don't matter," Daryl stated, reloading his own rifle, focused on the task. "There's gonna be more of 'em. We need to move."

"Any more gas?" I asked him, and he hummed in reply.

"Get 'em ready," Rick told him, looking for the best way out. My heart was pounding, and sweat was dripping down my spine. "We gotta gun it to the wall."

We were still under attack, Governor's people shooting at us, hitting the brick wall next to us.

"Ya guys go ahead, and I'll lay down some cover fire," Daryl stated, standing up and prepping the teargas in his hand. My eyes went wide, and my breath hitched in my throat.

"Daryl, no!" He looked at me and took a step forward, to where I stood. Daryl rose his hand and gently touched my cheek with his ruff hand. His eyes were full of emotions, but I couldn't figure out what they meant.

"Ya go, I'll be right behind ya, alright?"

I nodded at that, but my brows were furrowed, and I tried to stop the tears from spilling down my cheeks. Dixon peeked out and threw the gas onto the street, his hand still caressing my skin. He looked back at me, and before I could realize he pulled my closer, his lips touching mine.

I'd like to say that our first and potentially last kiss was terrific and full of passion. But the truth is, it was too short—just a simple touch of Daryl's chapped lips. More like a peck, but it happened and in front of the others no less. Goosebumps covered my whole body immediately, and something stirred deep in my belly. Before I could react in any way, or enjoy it, he pulled back, grabbed his rifle in both hands and ran forward, shouting at us to run.

_Daryl fucking Dixon kissed me._

Oscar pulled my arm, and I shook my head, focusing again at the task at hand.

"Go, go." I pushed Glenn and Maggie towards the wall while Rick and I were shooting blindly at Governor's people. I fell back, with Oscar, so we could help the couple to climb up the bus. The Black man got on the hood and helped Glenn up. I was looking out for any enemies when I saw Rick freeze. I followed his line of sight, but the only thing I noticed was some bearded dude, who was slowly raising his gun in my direction. I looked down the scope and fired at him without hesitation.

"Rick!" I shouted, bringing the man back to his senses, and he glanced back. I kept shooting while Oscar helped Glenn over the wall, now doing this same for Maggie. "Rick!"

The sheriff finally ran towards busses, giving me a cover fire, so I swang my gun over the shoulder and jumped up. Pulling myself up, I crouched down on the hood of a bus, waiting for our leader.

I climbed on top, laying flat on my belly when Rick climbed up, we were ready to jump to the other side, but we were missing the hunter.

"Daryl!" I yelled, desperation in my voice. I couldn't even see him correctly, the gas was slowly disappearing, but still obstructing the view.

"Daryl, come on!" Rick shouted too, and that seemed to get a reaction.

"Go, go. I'm behind ya," I heard Daryl's gruff voice and sighed happily, jumping down.

Glenn was leaning on Oscar, one arm swang over the Black man's shoulder. Maggie was standing in front of them, her gun up, ready for any walkers that could hear us.

_Daryl Dixon kissed me._

I turned around when I heard Rick jump down to the ground next to me. He pushed past me, and we grabbed our gear, running forward, to get a cover behind the same cars we did before we went withing the walls of Woodbury.

"Come on, Daryl," Rick whispered, we were reloading again, and I felt like something stabbed me in the heart. OH.

_Daryl Dixon kissed me. In front of other people._

There was a rustling, and someone climbed from the hole in the wall. Katana finally showed up, and Rick stood up, aiming his Colt at her.

"Where the hell were you? Put your hand up."

"Guys," I said in a small voice, my hands were shaking, but I was ignored. The black woman was trapped between Rick and Oscar, both pointing a gun at her.

"Turn around," The sheriff told her, and she slowly obeyed. He took her blade out of its sheath, away from its owner. The woman leaned on the old, rusty train that was part of a wall, sighing heavily. "Get what you came for?"

"Where is the other guy?" She asked, looking at me. I was still frozen, trying to hold back the tears.

"Daryl's missing," Maggie told her, but I shook my head.

"No, he's not," I said quietly, finally getting their attention.

"What the hell you talking about?" Oscar asked me, furrowing his brows.

"Daryl fucking Dixon kissed me. In front of you all," I stated, spreading my arms and laughing dryly. "He was never planning on following us. He was never going to leave without Merle."

"Fuck," Rick growled under his breath and started pacing.

"We need to go back for him," Maggie stated, and I couldn't agree more.

We left Glenn, Katana girl, and Oscar behind, told them to go back to the car. And we crept back inside the Woodbury. Maggie, Rick, and I. We hid behind one of the dumpsters, after following the sounds of commotion. Katana told us about this place. Off-side to the central part of the town, where apparently they were storing walkers.

And that's where we found Daryl with Merle. In the middle of a pit, surrounded by people. They were yelling and cheering, while others were pointing guns at two Dixons.

Rick told us to not do anything until he gives us a signal. We had to wait for an opening, and I understood that. But watching Daryl, with his shirt half ripped and vest slipping off his shoulder with blood covering his face, I just wanted to kill every last of those pricks. I propped my sniper on the metal wall of the container in front of me and watched through the scope.

"Prove it to us all," The tall man, who I assumed was this Governor, said. "Brother against brother. The winner goes free."

Sick son of a bitch. He put them on display, as some sort of punishment, but also entertainment for his people.

"Fight to the death."

I took a deep breath and glanced to the side at Maggie. She was holding a rifle with a similar scope than mine. I could see how tight her jaw muscles were, and how firmly she was holding the gun. It couldn't be easy for her. Whatever happened, we made her come back to the place that nearly killed her and her boyfriend.

"Y'all know me," Merle yelled, raising his left hand, preaching to the townspeople. "I'm gonna do whatever I gotta do to prove--" He hit Daryl in the stomach, making me flinch, and wrap a finger around the trigger. The hunter fell to the ground, pain evident on his face. But it was more than that. He was being hit by his big brother, someone he searched for the past eight months.

"Not yet," Rick said in a whisper.

"--that my loyalty is to this town." Merle kicked his younger brother in the ribs. I was taking heavy breaths, trying to keep my gun steady while he kept beating the shit of the hunter.

And then I noticed something worse. From the opposite side of the yard, came four people. They held out poles with walkers on the end of it, leading them to the pit, towards Dixon brothers.

Daryl stood up and threw a punch at Merle's face, but the older man shoved him to the ground, holding onto the hunter's shirt. Daryl wrapped his hands around his brother's throat while being surrounded by walkers on a leash.

"When ready, you take walkers, I take people," I said lowly to the woman next to me, and she hummed in agreement.

Dixon brothers suddenly jumped up to their feet, standing back to back. They were looking for solutions to how to get rid of geeks. People were shouting and whistling, encouraging this act of violence. Well, I'll fucking show them one.

Daryl and Merle were pushing and punching at the walkers that were shoved at them. But there was only so much they could do without a blade or any other type of weapon.

"Now!" Rick whispered, and Maggie pulled the trigger, shooting the first walker in the head. I followed, aiming at the guy that was holding onto it. Rick threw tear gas into the middle. I kept pulling the trigger, careful to not hit Dixons. I also didn't really care about the headshots. I just wanted them down, for long enough to let us get away.

People started screaming in fear and running away, while some others tried to pinpoint where the shots came from. But I just kept firing. Rick shot out the big lights they had, making the pit go darker.

"Elena!" Rick yelled at me, and I swang my sniper over my shoulder, bringing out my two handguns.

"I got them," I said and sprinted towards the middle, where Dixons should be. I shot at the two walkers that were creping on the person bending on the floor. I recognized Merle, who was bashing the other walker's head with a weird metal thing he had over his stump.

"Get up, dickhead!" I shouted at him, spotting Daryl a few yeards behind. At the sound of my voice, they turned around, trying to see me in the fog.

"El?"

"Dollface?" I rolled my eyes and helped the older Dixon to his feet.

"No time, move!" I led them towards Rick and Maggie, noticing big, Black dude, holding Daryl's crossbow. I shot at him, and the hunter swiftly grabbed his weapon, even before the body could hit the ground.

"Daryl," Rick spoke when he noticed us and urged us to keep going. We got back to the metal fences, with buses, when Merle spoke again.

"They're all at the arena. This way."

"You're not going anywhere with us," Rick growled at him, looking around for enemies.

"Ya really wanna do this now?" He walked between two busses and started pushing at the metal gate, eventually busting through it.

"Rick, come on. We gotta go," Daryl stated, following his brother. I stepped through the gate, watching Merle with amusement. He was kneeling down, using his metal hand to kill the walker he pushed to the ground.

"Little help would be nice!" He shouted in our direction, and I rose my Glock, shooting at the geek that was creeping at him from behind.

"Your welcome."

"We ain't got time for this!" He stood up and started running towards the woods, Daryl behind him, motioning at us.

"Let's go!"

"Come on, Rick, we need to leave," I told him, and pushed Maggie forward, after the Dixons.

We had to get to our vehicles soon. But I was not looking forward to the conversation we will have. Because in Glenn's, Maggie's and Rick's eyes - Merle is an enemy. And I doubt that Daryl will agree to just leave his own brother behind. So I spent our walk in silence, we all did, surprisingly even Merle was quiet. And I thought hard, of what I could say, to convince our leader to not leave Merle behind.

**Day 295**

By the time we got to where we had parked, it was dawn. It was just a fucking mile, but we were inside that damn town way longer than I thought.

"Glenn!" Rick whispered-yelled when we could see the car through the trees. He and Maggie led our group, with Daryl and Merle behind. I was closing ranks, I trusted Merle back at the quarry, but the fact was that he did kidnap our people. Of course, another point was that we left him to die, so, except Daryl, he had no loyalties towards us.

But I still kept my eye on him, watching for walkers at this same time.

The Asian man came jogging, from the road, Oscar and Katana were close behind him.

"Now, we got a problem here," Rick stated, aiming his gun at the dark-skinned woman. And when Glenn and Katana saw who we had with us, Glenn immediately pointed their own weapons at Merle.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Glenn shouted, and the woman quickly added her own words.

"He tried to kill me!" I glanced at Merle, stopping next to him, and watching for any sudden movements. I sighed harshly at all the shouting and swearing, they going to fucking attract the walkers.

"Drop the sword."

"If it wasn't for him--"

"No, he helped us get out of there," Daryl stated, lining himself between the gun and his brother. I was tense, holding my Glock tightly, but it was pointed to the ground for now.

"Yeah, right after he beat the shit out of you," Rick commented dryly, making the hunter huff in frustration.

"Hey, we both took our licks, man." Older Dixon stated, and I rolled my eyes.

"Just shut up, Merle."

"Jackass," Daryl added over the shoulder, catching my eyes for a second, before turning back to Glenn.

"Hey, shut up."

"Enough!"

Again, Katana came forward with her sword, but Rick stood firmly in his spot, not letting her pass.

"Ya wanna cut me, huh?" Merle taunted her, making me clench my jaw. He was fucking asking for trouble, wasn't he?

"Shut up!"

"Hey, get that thing out of my face," Daryl yelled at Glenn, who was still pointing his gun.

"Man. Look like ya gone native, brother." Merle laughed, leaning on one of the trees.

"You really need to shut up," I told him sternly.

"Shut the fuck up," Was Daryl's reply to his brother.

I closed my eyes for a second and touched the bridge of my nose. Taking three deep breaths, I tried to calm down and shut off the yells around me. I didn't fucking eat since the previous morning. I can't remember when I drank, I did a fucking sprinting and fighting. My shoulder was throbbing with pain, from the kickback of my weapons. And now, these idiots were giving me a fucking headache, with all this shouting in arguing. In an open space. Where Governor could easily find us, or worse, we could attract a herd. But who gives a shit, right?

I get it. Merle hurt Glenn, I do understand. But we started something, and now older Dixon was the best person the get information from.

"Been putting the wood to yur girlfriend Andrea big time, baby." Merle's words reached my bubble, snapping me out of my thoughts. What? Andrea? What the fuck did I miss?

"Andreas's in Woodbury?" Glenn asked, shock visible on his face.

"Right next to Governor," Daryl said, his voice lower some kind of sadness in it. Katana tried to use that moment of peace and charge at Merle, but Rick didn't drop down his guard.

"I told you to drop it," He ordered, his Colt pointed at her head. "You know Andrea? Hey. Do you know her?" The woman kept glancing at Merle until Rick came close to her face, anger evident on his face.

"Yep, she does." It was Merle who answered, smirking in his annoying way. "Her and Blondie spent all winter cuddling up in the forest. Mm-mm-mm." Did I say that I miss this prick? I obviously meant the idea of him, like Daryl's brother. Because, man, he was annoying as fuck.

"Yeah," He continued, looking directly at Katana. "My Nubian queen here had two pet walkers. No arms, cut off the jaws. Kept them in chains. Kind of ironic, now that I think about it."

"Smart, not ironic. Repellant, especially when you can't outrun the herd," I commented, looking down at my nails. I just really wanted to move on and go back to prison to the bed. Oh fuck. Daryl Dixon kissed me. I looked up, glancing at hunter's back, and instantly averting my eyes.

"We snagged 'em out of the woods. Andrea was close to dying."

"There's no way she's with him," Maggie commented, but it got me thinking.

"No, it is. Katana, here, said that Governor is like Jim Jones. People in town might not know his true face, and what he does," I stated, standing straighter. "And Andrea got a thing for bad boys, remember Shane?"

"Dollface, ya as smart as I remember," Marle snickered in my direction, making Daryl turn around to us.

"Shut up, man!"

"So what ya gonna do now, sheriff, huh? Surrounded by a bunch of liars, thugs, and cowards."

"Shut up!" Rick told him, and Daryl did the same seconds after.

"Oh. Oh, man. Look at this. Pathetic." Merle pushed himself from the tree, standing straight, taking few steps forward. "All these guns and no bullets in me."

"Daryl, you better shut him--"

"Shut up--"

Merle was obviously pushed to his limit cause he pointed at his brother's face, and started shouting himself. "Shut up yourselves, a bunch of pussies, you--" His body fell down to the ground, and I stood behind him with a gun in my hand. The butt at the front, I didn't want to kill him after all. Daryl furrowed his brows at me, and I tilted my head.

"What? We weren't going fucking anywhere with his yapping."

We left Marle by the trees and helped the Katana girl back to the car. I asked Oscar to watch her, so she wouldn't run off or try to kill Merle. We stood in the middle of the road, some yards away, trying to reach a conclusion.

"It won't work," Rick sighed and ran a hand over his curly hair.

"It gotta," Daryl said, his face was soft, open, begging.

"It'll stir things up."

I stood with my arms crossed, biting my lips and figuring out what to say to them.

"Look, the Governor's probably on the way to the prison right now," Daryl stated, trying to reason with the sheriff. "Merle knows how he thinks, and we can use the muscle."

"I'm not having him at prison," Maggie stated firmly, and Glenn quickly followed.

"He had a gun to our heads. Do you want him sleeping in a cell next to Beth and Carol?"

"He ain't rapist!" Daryl said, and I furrowed my brows at the accusations.

"Well, his buddy is." Oh. I glanced discreetly at Maggie and made a mental note to have a chat with her.

"Ain't no buddies no more. Not after last night."

"There's no way Merle's going live there without putting everyone at each other's throats," Rick said in a hoarse voice, his hands on his hips.

"So yur gonna cut Merle loose, and bring the last samurai home with us?"

"She's not coming back."

"She's not in a state to be on her own," Maggie spoke, talking about woman's injuries.

"She did bring you guys to us," Glenn agreed with his girlfriend, obviously.

"And then ditched us."

"At least let my dad stitch her up."

"Guys, stop," I said weakly because I knew in my heart where it all leads, but they weren't listening.

"We don't know who she is." Daryl pointed at the woman, waiting for us by the car. "Merle. Merle's blood."

"No," Glenn spat. "Merle is your blood. My blood, my family, is standing right here and waiting for us back at the prison."

"And you're part of that family," Rick explained gently to the hunter, but he scowled, bitting at his lip.

"Man, y'all don't know. Fine. We'll fend for ourselves." Here it was. At Daryl's words, my heart dropped, and breath hitched in my throat.

"Stop," I said, looking at Daryl, begging him to not do it.

"That's not what I was saying," Glenn explained, not letting me say anything else.

"No him, no me."

"Enough!" I shouted, making Maggie jump, and the men flinched, turning their eyes to me. I knew that my face was pale, and I was gritting my teeth. My breathing was uneven, and I had trouble controlling it. "All of you, just fucking shut up."

"Elena--," Rick started saying, but stopped when I lifted my eyes at him. I'm not sure what exactly he saw there, but I hoped it was that 'kill face' T was always talking about.

"Now, you all fucking listen to me," I spoke in a snide voice. "Maggie, did he touch you?" I asked the woman and pointed to the trees, where I saw older Dixon standing up to his feet. She pressed her lips into a thin line and slowly shook her head for 'no.'

"He's not a rapist. I can't imagine what you guys went through. Actually--" I paused and laughed dryly. "-- scratch that. I know how you feel. I was tortured before, I get the gist. But right now, we got ourselves a war. They know where we are and how many people we have. And we know shit."

I looked around at the faces in front of me, and taking a deep breath, I continued. "Truth is, we need both of them. Katana went back and did something. I want to know what, I suspect it has something to do with a Governor's new eyepatch. Merle knows the compound, and he knows what kind of person this prick really is. Don't interrupt me!" I directed the last sentence at Glenn, who just scoffed at me, and stepped back, clenching his fists.

"We live in fucking prison. I'm sure we can keep Merle, far enough from you two. And if it's revenge you after, I'll hold him down myself for you. But the truth is, he was taking his own because you fucking left him to die in Atlanta." I stated sternly, making the Asian man flinch.

"He is strong, and he can work. But most importantly, he'd do anything for Daryl. If we want to stand a chance against Governor, we need Merle for the sake of all our people. Otherwise, you're loosing inside information." I kept talking and glancing at their faces. Then I smiled sadly and crossed my arms, stepping back.

"And on top of that, you're going to lose your two most skilled fighters and hunters." There, I said it. My heart was hammering against my chest, and I could feel my body shaking from the emotions. Maggie closed her eyes and was shaking her head when she realized what I meant.

"Elena, you can't be serious," Rick said in a low voice, making me snap my eyes at him.

"You're all high of emotions and fucking adrenaline, and you can't think clearly. All I said- it's the right thing to do. But ultimately, it's your decision, Rick. I love you all--" I looked him in the eyes, so he could see just how serious I was. "-- but there's no way in hell I'm staying without Daryl."

"El, ya--"

"Shut up, Dixon! It's my fucking decision. Now, they need to make theirs."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N 2: Did I just do it? Oh, yes I did! Comment and tell me if you liked it. Cheers :)


	41. Chapter 41

They were all looking at me with sorrow, except for Daryl. His pupils were dilated, and his face was screaming gratefulness and something else I couldn't read. It was almost as if the time stopped, with just noises of birds flying above us and the gentle hum of leaves. I didn't want to leave them, but I couldn't bring myself to even think about not going with Daryl. Glenn swore under his nose and groaned in frustration, but ultimately glanced back at my blank face, nodding slowly.

"He comes anywhere near Maggie, I'll kill him."

"I was serious. We need to think clearly, without personal emotions. So if you need to hit Merle, or kick him, go for it." Daryl shifted slightly at my remark but stayed put.

"I might take you up on it later."

"You both are gonna be responsible for him, got it?" Rick asked, looking between Daryl and me.

Oh my, I did it. I actually fucking did it. I nodded sharply, and so did the hunter. "When we get back, you'll interrogate him, I wanna know everything about Governor we can. And then he will be on probation. He does something stupid, hurt someone or even looks at someone in the wrong way, he's out." Then Rick walked over at Daryl and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"If he can't control himself around our family, will you still follow him?" Dixon didn't reply, just smacked his lips and lowered his head down, too ashamed to even answer that.

"Great. Maggie, can you ride with Daryl?" I asked her softly, making her eyes snap back at me.

"Yeah, but why?"

"We don't have enough space. I'll lock him to the headrest and-" I closed my eyes, regretting my next words, as soon as they escaped my lips. "-and I'll sit on his lap, with Oscar and Glenn next to us making sure he won't do anything. Plus, he knows to not try anything with me. I already put him on his ass once."

"El, ya don't have to," Daryl spoke softly.

"You got a better option? Katana will kill him, plus she needs more space for her injured leg. If he rides with you, he could try to pull something, and I'm not gonna let that happen. And don't think that I fucking forgot the stunt you pulled at Woodbury. We just going to discuss it later." I told him, my face still blank, and I watched his cheeks turn crimson red, all the way to his ears.

"OK, let's move."

"I got the dickhead," I said and walked away towards the trees.

"You will need those," Rick yelled after me, and threw me his handcuffs, before heading towards the car. I crossed the street, and my feet moved silently on the forest's mossy grass when I made my way towards older Dixon.

"Merle!" I shouted, and the man instantly turned towards me, his face turning into a smug smile. Not stopping my speed, I threw my hand up, and my fist landed hard on his jaw, making him stumble a little. Merle's brows furrowed, and he brought his hand to his face, looking at me like I was crazy. Not giving him a chance to speak, I punched him once more, this time with my other hand.

"Fuckin' crazy bitch! The fuck ya doin', Doll?!" He yelled at me while I panted heavily from all the anger and relief I was feeling.

"The first one was for taking Glenn and Maggie, dirtbag!" I stepped closer, and Merle tensed again and huffed in surprise when I circled my arms around him for a quick hug. "And the other one was for being a stupid prick and not waiting for us on that fucking roof!"

"I missed yur crazy-ass, Dollface," Merle mumbled, and I pulled away, looking at him sternly.

"Yeah, whatever. You do anything stupid, say something to piss us off, you're gone. And I won't let Daryl go with you," I warned him and then motioned for the car. Merle glanced over my face, looking for any signs that I was joking, but when he didn't find any, the man started moving towards the car. This is going to be a fun trip.

* * *

Awkward. Or uncomfortable. Actually, both of those words perfectly explained how I felt. I sat down on Merle's lap, with his metal hand trapped between our bodies. His left hand was handcuffed to the headrest, and I tried my hardest to ignore Dixon's smirk. But he stayed quiet, while I was facing Oscar and Glenn, so I guess it could be worse.

I watched Daryl on his bike with Maggie holding onto him, they were leading our group. The journey wasn't that long, but it felt like an eternity, especially when the car swayed to the side or found a bump in the road. Because then I could feel something in Merle's pants that I didn't want to think about, and his smirked widened. Every. Single. Time.

I breathed out when the prison finally came into view, we slowed down, allowing Carol and Carl to open the gates for us. I could see the surprised look on Carol's face when she recognized who I sat on top of, her eyes darting to Daryl.

"Daryl, Elena," Rick called us over as soon as we stopped and I got out of the car. "Take him to the back cell, the one facing the stairs. That way, we can keep an eye on him, and he's gonna be far enough."

I shrugged and bent down to unlock the handcuffs, freeing Merle and letting him get out of the vehicle. I saw Carol and Carl run to us, and the rest of the group get out. Beth hugged me, and so did the others.

"You found Merle?" Carol asked me in a soft voice, and I nodded sharply.

"Yep. He was the one to take them. I'll let Glenn fill you in. I need to lock him up." I said quietly, trying not to attract attention. She swallowed harshly and glanced back at where Daryl stood next to his big brother. "Can I have the spare keys?"

"Yeah, sure, here." She handed me them, and I started walking towards it, but she stopped me. "There are some people in the common room."

I furrowed my brows, and then looked at Rick, who was talking to Hershel.

"Rick can deal with it," I said and motioned for the hunter. "Dixons! Move!"

I opened the doors leading to the cellblock, checking over my shoulder and making sure that they followed me. Surely they were right behind me. Carl was sitting on one of the tables, glaring at something in the far corner. I walked down the stairs, and looked in that direction, spotting four people. One middle-aged white guy and what I assumed was his teenage son. Then there were a couple of Black people, a woman, and a man. They sat quietly by the table but sat straighter when they noticed us.

"The hell is that?" Daryl asked in his usual gravely voice.

"Ignore them. Rick will deal with it." I said, picking through the keys and choosing the right one, opening the door leading to our cells. I crossed the floor, waving at Axel, who was holding the baby.

"Is Oscar fine, boss?"

"He's fine. Give the baby to Beth and go find him." I told him, smiling at the man, who released a sigh of relief.

"Carl named her Judith."

"Judith," I said softly, nodding to myself. "That's a good name."

"Holy shit, Dollface. You got a baby here?" Merle asked and huffed when Daryl shoved him forward.

I spun around and came closer to him. "Look, I'll tell you fucking everything. But can you shut up for now, and not stir any shit?"

He just rose his arms in defeat, but the smile wouldn't leave his face. I groaned in frustration and walked under the stairs, to the hidden cell. It was separated by the gate on the far end of the cell block. I unlocked the door and stepped aside, allowing Merle to walk in.

"So, I'm yur prisoner now?" The man asked when I locked the door behind him.

"I'll go and change, and then bring you some water and food. And then we'll talk." I stepped back and nearly bumped into the hunter. Looking at his almost bare chest, I felt my pulse sped up, and I took a sharp breath to calm myself down.

"You coming?" I asked Daryl, looking up into his eyes, noticing that he was once again nibbling his lip. I swallowed and walked away towards my cell, not waiting for his answer. I climbed up the stairs, spotting Rick, who was talking in hushed voices with Hershel, next to one of the unoccupied cells. When I walked upstairs, I saw Carol and Beth. They moved a table to the perch, and our mattress magically disappeared from there, making me furrow my brows.

"What the fuck did you do with our bed?"

"We needed more space in here for the baby. Plus, it's time for you two to get used to the cells." Carol said casually, but I didn't miss a smug expression she was holding.

"Whatever, I just need to change."

"We also found spare sheets, put them on, like a curtain, so we all can have a little privacy," Beth added, looking down at baby Judith, who needed a diaper change. Great, so now a young Greene teamed-up with Peltier.

I walked to the cell where my gear was, and fair enough, there was a semi-white sheet hanging from the top frame. I pushed it aside and looked around the room.

"Did you fucking tidy here?" I yelled towards both women and received a laugh in response.

"We were bored," I growled lowly and threw my weapons on the top bed. My backpack was propped against the wall, next to Daryl's, and I added the one I took to Woodbury. There were neatly folded, clean clothes in two piles lying on a bed; one Daryl's and one mine. Not thinking any longer, I shrugged the jacket off and unclasped my reins, pulling them off my shoulders. I tilted my head to the sides, finally feeling how tired I was. My muscles were sore, and my stomach was clenched from the lack of food. But that was nothing comparing to the emotional spin I had today.

I took off my tank top and used it to wipe the dirt and sweat from my body. I heard a sharp intake of breath behind me, and I glanced over my shoulder. Daryl stood in the door, the sheet pulled to the side. His face was flushed, and his eyes were on the ground. He looked like a child caught doing something they shouldn't.

"Not the first time you see me in my bra, Big Boy," I stated, my voice sounding more tired than I wanted. I reached for a new top, lovely purple silk, v-neck shirt with short angel sleeves. I pulled it over my head, and after a second of thinking, I decided to leave my reins in here. I still had my hunting knife and both handguns. But I felt that my back needed rest.

"Daryl," I started quietly, finally turning to face him. "Please, don't let your brother destroy you."

"What ya mean?" He asked and walked into the cell. He propped his crossbow against the wall and shrugged off his vest.

"You aren't the man he remembers. You care for someone else than just him. And I think Merle might get a bit jealous of that. Don't let him bring you down."

"El," Daryl started and sat on the bed, hiding his face in hands. "I dunno what to do. He fuckin' hurt Glenn and Maggie."

"I know." I crouched down in front of him, touching his hands gently and pulling them down. Now I could see his face properly. There was cut on his right cheek and some bruises. I stood up and walked to my pack, fetching my green rug and bottle of water. I kneeled in front of Daryl and soaked the fabric, carefully touching it to his wound.

The hunter pressed his lips in a thin line, the only indication of discomfort, while I cleaned his face. I cleared my throat and spoke again, avoiding his eyes.

"We're here for you—all of us. And I believe that you are smart enough to not fall for Merle's manipulations. You're your own man now, and he has no hold over you."

After saying that, I stood up and swallowed loudly. "Now, I need to tent to Merle. You can join me, but I believe he will be less cocky without you there."

"Ya sure?" He looked up at me, and I smiled.

"You know I can take care of myself."

I pushed the curtain aside and walked out of the cell, climbing down the stairs. Axel was chatting happily with Oscar, both of them changed from their prisoner's outfits into regular clothes. Now they did look like part of our group, and that made me smile. Carol was standing next to them, laughing at something they said.

"Here she is," Oscar waved at me, making me cock my eyebrow at him.

"I didn't do anything," I joked, raising my hands in defeat.

"I heard you were amazing out there," Carol commented, sending me a wink. "And that there was some saliva-"

"Don't finish that sentence." I cut her off, warning her. She nodded and tilted her head, and I knew she won't give up until she knows all the details.

"She told me, you and Daryl ain't a couple, but I knew better," Axel added, and I growled, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"OK, enough, people," Rick spoke from behind me, and I couldn't be more grateful for his interruption.

"So, what now?" Beth came downstairs, holding the little girl in her arms. "Do you think the Governor will retaliate?"

"Yes," Maggie's voice echoed through the cell block, and I watched her lean on the doors to her room.

"Let him try." Glenn was still angry, and it was hearable when he spoke.

"It sounds like he's got a whole town," Carol said softly, worry on her face. "We're outnumbered and outgunned."

"But we're smarter, and we have walls and fences," I answered their worries. "We need someone on watch at all times. And we need to hide our weapons in strategic points."

"Still, we could use some reinforcements," Hershel added, referring to the people in the common area. I nodded, agreeing with the old man, but Rick's face showed something else. He was unsure, and he looked just like he did before we left to save Glenn and Maggie. Full of grief and anger. So his reset was only temporary, that's not good. I sighed heavily, thinking that I need to have a real conversation with the sheriff—sort of a session.

Rick finally glanced towards the gate and walked to the common room, to talk to the new arrivals. We all followed him, I mean I had to grab food anyway. When we walked in, the four people stood up with hopeful expressions. I walked over to the food rack and started to fill two plates while listening to what they got to say.

"I'm Tyreese," The big Black man stated, holding out his hand for a shake, but Rick didn't take it.

"Sasha, Allen, Ben," Hershel introduced them, using his crutch to point at them.

"How'd you get in?" Rick asked in a low tone, yep he for sure looked on edge.

"A fire damage to the administrative part of the prison. Walls down."

"That side's completely overrun with walkers. How'd you get this far?"

"We didn't." I scrunched my face at that answer, the hell it means? "We lost our friend, Donna."

"They were lost in the gyms," Carl admitted, and his father glared angrily at him.

"And you brought them here?"

"He had no choice," Hershel spoke simply, in a calm manner. I put the plates away and silently moved closer to Rick.

"I'm sorry about your friend," The sheriff said in a softer voice, but I still stood right behind him. "We know what that's like."

"Hershel said you could use some extra hands," Tyreese spoke again, offering his help. "We're no strangers to hard work. We'll go out and get our own food. Stay out of your hair. You got a problem with another group, we'll help with that, too."

I felt the presence beside me, and I moved my head there, spotting Daryl. He stopped next to me, he had a new shirt, sleeveless of course, and his hair was slightly damp. Oh, what I'd do to wash my own properly. I snapped my head back towards the Rick when I heard his sharp reply.

"No." The fuck?

"Rick," I started gently, but he cut me off with a scowl on his face.

"I said no. You already pushed me enough today, Elena! Get the food and go to Merle."

Everyone stood frozen in their places, at Rick's aggressive remark, but I just smacked my lips and spun on my hill. I grabbed two plates I prepared before and water bottles, walking towards the door, my head high.

Yes, me and Rick Grimes need to talk. On the other hand, I did question his decisions. Twice in one day, something I agreed not to do when he declared his Ricktatorship. Fuck politics, and fuck this crazy new world. And fuck all the losses we suffered through recently.

* * *

I placed the plates by the door leading to Merle's cell and quickly unlocked it. I bent down and brought them in, observing the man inside. He was half-sitting, half-laying on the bed, so I sat in the empty space that was left.

"Here," I shoved the food onto his hand, and he grabbed it quickly. His blue eyes were observing me when I took my own spoon and started eating some canned corn.

"So, what's the story, Dollface?" He asked after a few minutes of silence. We heard the shouts from the other side, but I told him to ignore it. Rick didn't want me there, so I won't react.

"Short version? We came back for you. Daryl, Rick, Glenn, T, and I."

"Yeah, China man already said so."

I glared at him but didn't comment on his insult. "You were gone, obviously." I waved at his hand, and he smirked darkly. "The worst part? The stove you used? The skin we found was still warm, and the blood wasn't dry. If you'd just wait an hour longer, Merle."

His face fell; back then, he couldn't have known how close we were to rescue him.

"Yeah, well, didn't have a choice. Dead were bustin' through." He snarled at me and shifted his attention to the plate on his lap.

"No. The lock held it was still there when we arrived. But you were high, so you saw what your fucked mind told you. Anyway, Glenn got kidnapped by some Latinos. We got him back, but our transport was stolen. By accident, you didn't take a white van parked in the old train tracks, did you?" I asked him, and took a sip of my drink, watching his face scrunch.

"Nah, I went the other way, east. Found some warehouse, patched myself up, spent a few days in the city."

"We got back, and the camp was overrun. We lost Amy and Ed, though no one cried after that prick."

"And Carol?" He asked me, chewing slowly on his food. I snorted and shook my head.

"She was the one to make sure he won't come back. Imagine, after years-" I stopped myself, but I saw in his face that he understood exactly what I meant. "Jim got bit, so we decided to try the CDC."

"Ya found out anythin'?"

"Yeah, that scientists are fucking bonkers," Merle laughed at my snarky comment. "But for real. There was just one guy there. He showed us the process. From infection to death to reanimation. There's no cure, no fucking nothing. So he decided to opt-out. Blew the whole building out. With him and Jacqui inside."

"That's a shame, I liked 'er. She had spirit."

"Yeah. So we thought, Fort Benning. But before we could get there, we broke down on the interstate. Lost Sophia." I looked away, at the memories of a little girl. "Daryl and I, we searched every day."

"Yeah, my little brother's good like that." I could hear something bitter in Merle's voice, maybe envy.

"You could be too if you'd trust others," I said softly, catching his eyes. He huffed and went back to his food.

"Anyway. We found Hershel's farm. That's the old guy with crutches. We lost people there. Sophia- when we found her, she turned. Then Dale, Shane, the prick. And a few other people that lived there. Maggie, the girl you took, is Hershel's daughter, so is the blonde girl."

I put some pasta in my mouth and chewed on it for a second, collecting my thought.

"And then we got overrun again. Andrea got separated from us. We found out that we're all fucking infected, and we fucking traveled around Georgia for the last eight months."

"I missed ya foul mouth, Doll." I laughed when Merle said it. He was right, though. I was swearing way too much recently. I pin it on stress and all the shit we went through recently.

"We found the prison just about a week ago. There were five prisoners left in here. Only two made it, Oscar, the Black guy that was with us, and Axel, the blonde with a funky mustache. T-Dog got bit, and Lori-" I swallowed harshly at the memory. It was just two days ago, but it seemed longer. "-she went into the labor when we had some troubles. We couldn't help her. Maggie cut the baby out, and Carl put Lori down."

I finished, taking another sip of the water. I felt Merle's eyes on me, so I glanced in his direction. His lips were pressed tightly, and I could see gears spinning in his head, while he thought of what to say.

"Your turn, Dixon."

"I was nearly dead in that warehouse. Some guys found me, took me to Woodbury," He said in a gruff voice, so similar yet so different from Daryl's.

"So, you've been there for the past ten months?" I asked him, sitting straighter.

"Pretty much, Doll. They took care of me, organized me that." He lifted his right arm, showing me his metal hand. "What do ya wanna know 'bout him?"

"We know they have guns and ammo. How do they get it?"

Merle looked away and scrunched his face. "Scavengin'. But also from other groups. If he finds one that can threaten him, he guns 'em down. If they're harmless, we'd bring 'em in."

"OK, and what kind of guy is he? Katana described him as Jim Jones."

"Huh, not too far off. And her name's Michonne," Merle told me, putting his plate away on the table next to the bed. I watched him place the water bottle between his legs and use his only hand to unscrew it. I thought about helping him but quickly changed my mind. He's the type of guy who needs to fend for himself, he won't easily accept help.

"He's manipulatin' people, all the time. Town's folks don't know about half the shit he's doin'. Once ya get in, ya can't get out. He's good with words, but he lies all the time."

"Alright. But, Merle- Why the fuck did you take Glenn and Maggie? I get that you wanted to see Daryl, but that was not how to do it."

Merle growled and swung his legs down to the floor. He propped his elbows on his legs and looked in front of him.

"What ya want me to tell ya, Dollface? I was always a bad guy, even back at the quarry. They didn't want to take me here, so I took 'em in."

"How about the truth, Merle?" I shifted closer to him, placing one hand on his shoulder. I remembered all the silly talks we had and all the stories from Dixon's childhood usually told playfully. But I knew that deep down they held sad truth.

"I had to go back," He whispered, not turning his face. "It was either run away with China-man or take 'em back. I couldn't always get outside the wall. Just a day before, I told him that I wanna search for Daryl. Andrea gave me a map, pointed the farm and everythin'. But he wouldn't let me go."

"So, instead, you decided to beat the shit out of Glenn?"

"Look, Dollface! Maybe it wasn't the best decision in my life. But he was there, happy, alive. Both fuckin' hands. And I lost it. I just wanted to know about Daryl."

"And Maggie?" I asked softly. That got Merle's attention, his head snapped to me, and he clenched his jaw.

"I had nothin' to do with that!" He snarled at me. "Ya know I'm not like that. I like my ladies' willin'. If I-" Merle took a deep breath and stood up, placing his left hand on his hip.

"I'd try to stop him, Doll. I ain't like that. I'd try to talk him out. But, we were all on his grace back there. We never knew when he'd turn against us."

I understood what he didn't say. Even Governer's soldiers were scared of him.

"So, he's unpredictable?"

"Yeah, and he enjoys power."

I nodded and stood up. I was ready to leave when Merle's gruff voice stopped be before I reached the door.

"Ya changed, Dollface."

"I didn't change, I just found myself," I replied, facing him again with a smile. "Having people you trust with your life, call them a family, even if they, not your blood? That's something worth living and dying for."

"And what about my brother?" There was that smirk on his face again, and I made sure to not change my expression. I cocked my brow and didn't stop smiling.

"He changed too. He grew up."

"Not what I meant, Doll. I heard Carol and those two guys talkin'. Heard there was some smoochin'," He said slowly, taunting me, but I just smiled wider.

"Not your damn business, Hook. But even if there was something-" I paused and came closer to the man in front of me. "-please try to not destroy something that makes him happy."

Merle huffed but didn't respond, so I took it as my cue. I collected our empty plates and left his cell. I took a deep breath and walked back into the common room, where I could see Hershel, Carol, and Glenn taking in hushed voices by one of the tables. I put the plates away and strode towards them.

"What's up, guys?"

"Rick went crazy again," Glenn didn't sugarcoat anything. I rose my brows in surprise and glanced at Hershel, looking for confirmation.

"Daryl went after him, but came back about ten minutes ago."

"Do you know where Rick is now?" I asked them, worry slowly creeping in my body.

"Back in the tombs."

"Who's on the watch?"

"Axel, for now," Glenn replied, sighing heavily. "Then Carol and finally Oscar will take the morning one."

"Good job, Glenn. Tomorrow at dawn, we'll spread the guns, see what we could do to reinforce the fences. What happened to those people?" I looked around, searching for the new arrivals, but they were nowhere to be found.

"Like Glenn said. Rick spooked them. I think you should talk to him soon," Hershel replied, and I closed my eyes for a second. For fuck sake. We just lost four extra pairs of hands.

"Great. Do you know where's Daryl?"

"He went back to the cells," Carol replied, smiling softly at me.

"What did Merle say?" Hershel asked me, and I growled internally. I felt like I had not enough time in a day. I really wanted to speak with the hunter, but I knew that our people needed answers.

We gathered the rest of us, excluding sleeping baby Judith and Rick, who was God knows where. And I told them all that I found out from Merle. By the time we finished talking it over and making plans for tomorrow, the sun was setting. And before I could stop him, Daryl walked back to the cellblock, not even glancing in my direction.


	42. Chapter 42

I left the common area, moving silently through the cellblock C. I was exhausted, but my mind was still fully functional. We had so much to do tomorrow, and I was afraid that Governor will attack at any moment. The fact that Rick went off the bender really didn't help. And that everyone here hated Merle, and probably me for forcing them to bring him in here. I sighed heavily and altered my route. Instead of going upstairs, I walked towards where I saw Maggie before.

"Knock, knock," I said quietly, standing in front of the sheet leading to the cell.

"Come in," It was indeed Maggie, but her voice was quavering and more hoarse than usual. I pushed the curtain aside and walked in, stopping in front of the bed. She was lying down on the bed, facing the wall.

"Can I sit down?" I asked her softly, waiting patiently for any answer. After a few long minutes, when I nearly lost hope, she moved, sitting up and bending her knees, pulling them to her face.

I sat down in the free space and looked at her carefully. Her face was puffy, and she had traces of tears on her dirty cheeks.

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry," I started softly, playing with my fingers. Maggie was staring down at her knees, pressing her lips together. "I'm sorry that I forced you to bring Merle here."

"No, I-- I understand why you did it," She interrupted me furrowing her brows. "We couldn't lose Daryl, you couldn't. But that doesn't change what he did to Glenn and me. And I'm angry for that, it feels like it was already swapped under the rug."

"No one did that, Mags. I already gave him shit for it. I know it doesn't seem like it, but he's not really such a bad guy. He acts like that 'cause that's what people see when they look at him. A stupid redneck, who only causes trouble."

"Sorry if I won't believe that."

"No, I get it. Look, Merle will stay away from you. Daryl and I, we'll keep him in check." I took a deep breath and forced my next words out. "I don't know what happened to you in there, but I'm sorry that we couldn't save you before it happened."

At those words, Maggie glanced at me, and that seemed to be the last straw. She hid her face in her hands, and her whole body started to shake, quiet sobs escaping her lips. I shuffled forward and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her to my chest. I stroke her hair, making some reassuring sounds, but my heart was in pain. That is precisely what I never wanted for her or any other woman in our group. Because now, we don't have time to even process that sort of stuff properly. Best example - Rick.

"He didn't--" Maggie spoke after a while, sniffing. "He told me to take off my shirt and then my bra. But he didn't touch me. Not like that."

"He just wanted to humiliate you," I commented in a whisper, bitting my cheek.

"Well, it worked."

"You can't let this prick win and take you down. You are a strong woman. He has no power over you."

"Glenn-- I didn't tell him what happened. He assumes the worse, but I can't talk to him. He behaves as if it was him, and gets so angry."

I sighed heavily and pulled away from Maggie, looking her in the eyes. "I think he's angry because he couldn't protect you. He probably blames himself. And he's been through a lot there as well."

"Because of Merle," She spat, and I averted my eyes to the wall behind her. Yes, that for sure won't be fucking easy.

"I know."

"I'm sorry Eli, I'm not sure if we'll ever let that go."

"I know, all I'm asking is for you to try."

She huffed but nodded slightly. "Only if he's gonna do this same."

"If he won't, I'll be first to kick him in the nuts."

"Glenn might try to race you for that," Corners of her lips lifted, and I gave her my own crooked smile. "So, what we saw back at Woodbury--"

I breathed out loudly and shook my head. "I didn't even have a chance to speak to Him."

"Then, maybe it's time," Maggie said, briefly touching my hand. "Are you scared?"

"Of course not, why would I? Go, get some rest. We got lots to do in the morning." I stood up quickly and smiled at her for the last time before leaving her room. When the sheet behind me separated us, I run a hand over my face, trying to calm my breathing.

I was scared. That's not how I planned to talk to Daryl about our feelings. Fuck, I didn't plan it at all. I was ready to spend the rest of my life, however long it would be, without telling the hunter how I feel.

I started climbing up the stairs, and with each step, my limbs felt heavier and heavier. I stopped just before the curtain, and clenched my jaw, taking a shaky breath. There was candlelight seeping from the cell, and I could see man's shadow moving inside. I put a blank look over my face and pushed the sheet aside, stepping inside.

Daryl didn't look at me, but he certainly kept busy. He had his bags on the bed and was zipping the last one. His crossbow was still propped against the wall, but his clean clothes were gone, and so were random bolts that usually covered the floor in the corner.

OK, breathe.

"So, after all my big speech, you just going to leave?" I asked him bitterly, crossing my arms on my chest. He scrunched his face and stopped what he was doing to look at me.

"What ya on about, woman?" He sounded confused, so I waved towards his stuff.

"You packed your things."

"Just gettin' my own cell, that's all." He stated, biting his bottom lip. I pressed my lips tighter and run a tongue over my teeth.

"Huh. I see. And why?" For that, he didn't have an answer, so I kept talking. "Is it because of Merle? You're ashamed of being seen with me?"

"Ain't that, El," Daryl said grumpily, gritting his teeth.

"I see. Well, is it because you kissed me?" He flinched when I said it and looked down, his face started getting red very quickly.

"Sorry, 'bout that." Oh, he was sorry. He-- Oh. Alrighty. Only years of keeping my feelings all to myself stopped me from crying here, and now, in front of him. My heart clenched tightly, and I focused on controlling my breathing. Damned be a day I met Dale Horvath, and I agreed to follow him to the quarry. Damn be day Merle and Daryl Dixon stumbled into my life. And fuck the day, I decided to drop my shields and let these people in.

"You're sorry. I see." I squeezed past his big frame and walked to the bed. I unclasped my belt with weapons and placed it on the top bunk. Then I took of the holster with my hunting knife, I put the blade under the pillow and threw the holder on the top.

I glanced over my shoulder, seeing that Daryl watched me with a nervous expression on his face. I kept my poker-face and drew my brows together.

"Well, what you're waiting for, Dixon? I'd like to have some rest," My voice sounded colder than I wished. Apparently, I had bigger issues with controlling my emotions than I wanted. Daryl's face fell, and he took two steps forward, standing just inches from me. I shifted, so we were now chest to chest. I rose my head up proudly. I won't let this man humiliate me anymore. It's nothing that my heart is breaking into a million small pieces, I won't give him the satisfaction of seeing it.

"El, I ain't good at this shit. I'm sorry, I didn't want to make things weird," Daryl's voice was huskier than before, and I fought the shiver at its sound.

"Nothing to be sorry about. Actually, you couldn't make things clearer." I wasn't holding the anger any longer. My nostrils fluttered, and I clenched my fists. "You're right. It's weird to keep sleeping next to each other. I mean, we're just friends, right? You kissed me because you were full of adrenaline, and you didn't mean it romantically, right?"

Daryl growled in frustration and brought his hands up, squeezing my shoulders. His blue eyes went darker, and now he looked angry too.

"Ain't what I meant, woman," He hissed at me. I tried to push him back, but his hold was firm, and it just made him pull me closer to him.

"Then what the fuck did you mean?" I spat back, my voice dangerously low.

"Why ya overreactin' like that?"

"Because I have feelings for you, you jerk!" I froze right after I said it. Did I really just do that? He swallowed harshly and let me go, pushing back, creating a space between us. He brought his hand up and started to chew on his thumb. He looked lost like he didn't know what to say for that.

"There, I said it—the ultimate humiliation. The group hates me for forcing Merle on them. Rick hates me for questioning his authority. And now I destroyed our friendship." I said quickly, but then I laughed dryly, searching for his eyes. "No, that one is actually on you. I was fine, pretending, hiding. Why the fuck did you kiss me?" I moved forward, and with each word, I jabbed a finger in his chest.

"'Cause I was scared I won't see ya again!" He grabbed my hand, stopping me from harassing his pecks. "The hell ya want me to say? The hell ya want from me?" Now his voice more forceful, and his eyes bore into mine.

"Only what you are willing to give me," I said softer, and I knew that I dropped all my masks down for the first time since we met. There was no hiding, not anymore, not with Daryl. He could see everything in my face, I hoped. And he looked scared. I don't know if he was scared of what it means or how it would change things. I slowly reached out, trying not to startle him as I placed my hand on his cheek. He didn't flinch but tensed under my touch. I was looking into the ocean of his eyes, waiting patiently for any signs from him. He didn't move away, but neither did something. He was reading me, looking for signs that I'm lying or joking around. He won't find any, and I knew that.

I pulled back and crossed the cell to my pack. I unzipped the front pocket, taking my small notebook out, and walked to the bed. I sat down and patted the spot next to me. Daryl hesitated for a moment, and then hunkered down as well, far enough that another person could fit in there. I opened my calendar on the right page revealing the Cherokee Rose he gave me back at the farm. It was dry now but still resembled itself.

"Look," I whispered, and he moved his eyes down to look at a flower lying in between the pages. "I think that was the evening when I realized that you mean more to me than just a friend" I smiled and gently stroked dried petals looking at them and reminiscing.

"That time on a farm, you showed us a completely different side of you. And of course, I was attracted to you before that. But that night, that night, I realized I don't want just your body." I glanced at him and saw him lick his dry lips.

"I don't know how to be who ya want me to be, El." He looked so unsure of himself. Years of self doubt his father and Merle inflicted on him showing.

"Daryl, I don't want anything you can't give me." I smiled at him softly and moved my hand to his cheek. His stumble was ruff under my fingertips, but I liked it. It was part of him and who he is.

"If you don't want anything but friendship, I understand. If we can even go back to that."

"Nah. I don't wanna be yur friend." At that, my heart dropped, and I felt as something was ripping me apart from the inside. I could feel the tears filling my eyes, but still smiled, taking my hand away. I shuffled on a bed to put more distance between us, but he grabbed my hand—warm sensation spreading through my whole body.

"I think it was when ya jumped down from that tree. Maybe it was how confident ya were or how the sun was glistening in yur hair. Fuck, I dunno." His voice was raspy, and his thumb was gently stroking the palm of my hand. Breath hitched in my throat, and my heart started to beat faster again. "But I knew then that I don't just wanna be yur friend." He glanced back at me with this scared eyes, showing me everything. Oh.

"El. I dunno how to do this shit. I never had a girl. All it was drunken nights. Fuck, I never even kissed a girl when I was sober."

"Well, you did last night," I said quietly. "Unless you drank without me."

He snorted and closed his eyes for a moment. Corners of his lips lifted slightly, and I felt him relax a little.

"I ain't good for ya, woman," I twisted on a bed after he said it. I pulled my left leg up, under myself, and placed the other firmly on the floor. I reached out and touched his cheek again.

"And why not?"

"I'm nobody, stupid, dirty redneck," Daryl grunted, and my heart clenched lightly.

"You not. I don't care what you did or didn't do before the turn. You are smart and observant. You know how to read people, and you spot things others don't," I started softly shifting closer to him, so now my calf was touching his thigh, and my chest was pressed to his side. "You're kind, and you care for this group. You provide, without hesitation, not carrying if you going to get hurt in the meantime."

"So do ya."

"Yeah. Hero complex, remember." I joked, and he snorted, making me smile widely. My fingers kept exploring his cheekbones and a short beard that covered his face. "If someone's not good enough, it would be me."

Daryl snapped his eyes to mine, furrowing his brows.

"The hell ya ain't."

"I killed people, before and even more now. And I'll keep doing it if it means that our people are safe. And--" I stopped for a second, averting my eyes, swallowing harshly. "I saw you with Judith, how you couldn't take eyes of her, how you held her. You were truly happy. And that's something I can't give you."

"El, ya more than that. Ya ain't a killer." Daryl's eyes shone, and he furrowed his brows. "And I never thought of havin' kids. She deserves to live, and I'll try my best to keep her alive, but I ain't wanna bring a kid to this world."

"Look, I don't--" I paused and swallowed a gulp formed in my body, and I trembled inside. A massive wave of relief flew through my body at Daryl's words. "--I didn't have a lot of relationships in my life either. I was always guarded, and then I didn't really have time for it. So I know for sure that I never felt like that. And we can take as slow as you want. But right now, I'm gonna kiss you. So if you don't want that I suggest--"

I didn't have a chance to finish that sentence. Daryl's hand, the one that was holding mine, sneaked up to my shoulder, while his other grabbed the nape of my head and pulled me forward, making me close my eyes.

This kiss was different. His lips were still chapped, and mine were probably too, but the roughness made the feeling even better. I tangled my hand in his hair, and the other pressed to his cheek even more.

Our lips moved slowly, patiently, savoring this moment. Daryl tasted like pasta, we all ate this evening, and like cigarettes, even though we didn't have any for days. His musky scent mixed with sweat made my head spin. I could hear the pounding of my heart when the blood pumped through my body, and there was a fire, low in my belly.

I moaned into his lips when I felt his tongue dart out, slowly demanding an entrance. The soft gasp that escaped me was enough for him, and he deepened the kiss, tilting his head for better access. I felt the hunter's hand pull at my ponytail, slowly removing my hairband and tangling his fingers in my loose locks.

I was breathing shallowly through my nose while our tongues fought for dominance. I moved my hand down, tracing muscles of Daryl's neck and down to his shoulder, gripping it tighter when he pressed me closer to him.

I shifted, wanting to feel more of him, and Daryl sneaked his arm around me, lifting me up easily. He pulled me onto his lap and stopped the kiss, lifting his head a little, placing his forehead on mine. We were both panting, and when I opened my eyes, I noticed that he was already looking at me.

Daryl was still, and his eyes were wide like he couldn't believe what just happened. Honestly, neither did I. But I couldn't be happier. I smiled widely, and placed my both hands on his face, gently tracing his high cheekbones. My thumb lightly traced the mole above his top lip. I wanted to touch it for so long, and now I could.

"Hey," I whispered, my voice was feeble and shaky. "So, how was your first proper, sober kiss?"

The hunter cleared his throat and suddenly looked embarrassed, averting his eyes, and his arms went limp, falling down to my hips.

"Daryl, look at me, please." I pulled back a little to see him better, and I waited patiently for him to lift his face. He was chewing again on his lip, and that just made me want to kiss him again. But Daryl looked like he's about to bolt, so I guess talking it slowly it is.

"How about we go to sleep? We both need rest. Do you still planning on changing cells?" I asked him, and he shook his head slowly. "Good, 'cause you won't get away from me now."

He snorted, and I slipped from his lap and kicked off my shoes. I moved towards the wall, laying down on my side. Daryl shifted and layed down as well, facing me. I pulled the blanket over us, and the hunter slowly, unsure of himself, brought his arm around me, pulling me to his firm body.

I sighed in content, burying my face in his chest. Closing my eyes, I thought of what occurred in the past two days, with Maggie and Glenn and that prick Governor. Finding Merle, and what happened between Daryl and I. Will it affect our dynamic? I knew for sure that he wasn't the one to express his emotions to others. And he wasn't big for words, he was a man of actions. But if you would look at us, we were a couple for months now. Always next to each other, sleeping under this same blanket, carrying for each other more than others in the group. But now, that it went into a different level, I couldn't help but wonder if it will change how he behaves. And I still didn't rule out him running away.


	43. Chapter 43

**Day 296**

My day started pleasantly. I woke up in the same position I fell asleep. With Daryl's strong arms wrapped around me, and for the first time, I could fully enjoy it. One was under my head while the other was holding me tightly at the small of my back. Our legs were tangled, my left one trapped between his muscular thighs. And in this position, I could feel his growing erection.

"Morning." My voice was muffled by his chest, but he heard me. He grunted in reply and pressed his face into my hair, breathing deeply. It couldn't be a pleasant smell, considering how long it was since I actually washed them. But it didn't seem to faze him. I lifted my face and pried my eyes open, smiling at the man beside me. My man.

I pushed myself up a little, brushing the bulge in his pants with my hip, making Daryl close his eyes. I placed a soft kiss on his cheek, and then on his lips. I savored the feeling of his warm mouth on me, even more so when he pushed me to my back, hovering above me. I parted my lips, and it was like he was waiting for an invitation. Seconds later, our tongues were mixed together, twisting and pulling.

I yanked him closer, gripping his hair with my hand and the other arm I put on his back, stroking it gently. He growled in my mouth and moved his lips to my cheek, and then lower to my neck, leaving wet, sloppy kisses in there. My whole body shivered, warmth spreading all the way to my toes. Daryl sneaked his hand under my shirt, and when his calloused fingers touched my bare skin, I felt like my whole body was set on fire. The sensitive spot between my legs itched, and I lifted my hips, needing some release.

"Elena, Daryl, you awake?" Fuck you, Grimes, and your fucking timing. Daryl stopped his movements and froze, glancing at me like a spooked child. I smiled at him sweetly, still caressing his back, and answered the sheriff.

"Yeah," My voice was hoarse, and I cleared my throat before continue. "We'll be out in five."

"Just hurry up."

"Fuck you," I groaned when I finally heard his footsteps disappear. Daryl pushed himself off me and sat up, not looking in my direction, just playing with his fingers. OK, so it will take us a bit longer to get used to fooling around when other people are near us. Maybe we could get some alone time in the watchtower, once all that shit with Governor is over.

I stood up and stretched my body, reaching for water from the bedside table. After taking a few sips, I passed it to Daryl, he grabbed it and quickly downed the rest of it. He was still sitting, one of his forearms spread on his lap, covering the bulge I felt just moments ago. When I glanced at his face, I noticed that he was watching me, and I licked my lips, smirking at the hunter.

"We got a lot to do today. If that prick is anything we expect, he'll attack us soon," I told him and reached out for my reins, pulling them on.

"We gonna take him down," Daryl declared without hesitation. I packed our guns into the duffel bag.

"I'm going to check weapons and ammo, place them around the yard." I moved towards him and placed a small peck on his lips, before swinging the bag over my shoulder and leaving our cell.

* * *

Rick went weird again. Shortly after I hid some of our guns around the courtyard, leaving three of the rifles inside, I spotted the sheriff outside. And when I approached Katana, she said that he's talking to someone that's not there.

I grabbed everyone and urged them inside to the common room, so we can create a plan. Glenn was drawing with chalk on the floor, showing the prison layout, so we can figure out where we have a breach.

"Now, you said you found Tyreese's group here?" The Asian man asked Carl, who was crouching next to him.

"Yeah."

"We secured this."

"Well, he-- he thought he came through here." Carl pointed to the edge, and I nodded.

"He said there is half of the building down, easy way in," I added, crossing my arms.

"OK, so all that side of the prison is insecure. If walkers just strolled in, then it's gonna be cake for a group of armed men."

"That's why we're going to check it," I stated firmly. "First, communication and movement. I know Rick got one set of keys and his radio. We will always have another set in here, for whoever stays inside. Glenn, Daryl, Carl I want you to carry walkie-talkies too. Daryl has another set of keys, and the last one goes to whoever goes for a watch. Oscar got it now."

"Are you sure he will attack?" Beth asked, making me glanced up at her. "Maybe you scared him off."

"He had fish tanks full of heads," Michonne recalled. "Walkers and humans. Trophies. He's coming."

"Look, from what Michonne said, and what I got from Merle, this Governor-- his a psychopath. That kind of person doesn't care about anyone but themself. He is probably a great manipulator and a chronic liar. And we threatened his position. He needs to show power, not just to his soldiers, but prove it to himself. That he's better than us. He won't stop."

"That's why we should just go there right now!" Glenn growled, standing up, making me furrow my brows. "He won't be expecting it. We'll sneak back in and put a bullet in his head."

"We're not assassins," Carol countered, scowling at the Asian man.

"Elena's a sniper, that's enough!"

"No way," Daryl grunted and pushed himself off the wall, making me roll my eyes.

"We're not going anywhere. I know you're scared. Trust me, I'm too. Just like I was when we went to Woodbury. We have walls, and we know this place better than Governor," I argued, seeing that Glenn is still pacing I turned to him. "I get it, I do. But Merle said that there are regular people in there. And they have no clue what's happening or what kind of shit Governor is doing, that only his soldiers know."

"And you trust him?" Glenn spat at me, his face twisted with anger. I crossed the floor, standing right in front of him.

"Yes. Merle has nothing else to lose. He ran away from people who he knew for the past ten months, who saved his life. For what? To be put in the cell, only because he wanted his brother back."

"He nearly killed me!"

"And you nearly killed him," I snarled, making him flinch. My lips were pressed in a line, and I was panting from frustration. "Back in Atlanta. You all left him there. For all you knew these past months, he was dead. And I haven't seen you cry over him. And back then, he was more a friend to me than you were. But I didn't rip into you about it, did it? He's here now, locked for your benefit, and he's trying to help us. To prove that his loyalty will always lay with Daryl!"

After my words, no one dared to speak. I took a deep breath and run a hand over my loose hair. I seemed to lose my fucking hair tie again.

"Then we should leave," Hershel stated finally, and I smiled sadly at him.

"And go where?"

"We were on the road for months."

"Yes. But now you're missing a leg, and we have a baby. I'm not saying it's a bad idea, Hershel," I told him more calmly. "But we can't just leave blindly. We would have to find a place to go, not wander without directions. So for now, we need to get ready."

"Fine, I'll take Carl and check the gym, see where Tyreese's group came from," Glenn mumbled under his nose, and motioned at the boy.

"Thank you. Carol, Axel, you try to finish what Rick started. Daryl, could you try to talk to Merle again? Maybe there's something he didn't tell me."

"Sure," He smirked at me and walked away, into the cellblock. I saw a look of consternation at Maggie's face but ignored it for now.

"Hershel, could you try to talk to Rick?" I asked the older man, and he glanced at me for a second, his usual poker-face on.

"Why not you?"

"Well, I don't think he's pleased with me right now." I smacked my lips at the memories of last night.

"I'm going to switch with Oscar. Remember, if something happens, take cover and try to get to the guns. If you can't, just hide. Also, there's always got to be someone with Judith. Keep her inside."

After that, I started to walk away, and I heard a commotion in the room, people getting to their feet. I sensed a presence behind me, and I turned around. Michonne was following me through the courtyard, her face grim.

"Why do you defend Merle?" She asked me when I stopped by the main gate, ready to shout for Oscar. I sighed and forced myself to stay calm.

"Because believe me or not, he's not a bad guy." She chuckled at my response, but there was something dark in her eyes. "I don't dismiss the fact he shot you, or hurt Glenn. Hell, that's why he's locked up. But I knew him before he joined Governor. And what I said inside there was true. He'd do anything for Daryl. And under that facade of a redneck douchebag, there is a man with principals."

She didn't reply, just spun around and went back to the broken truck, she was sitting in earlier. So, that went well.

* * *

I sat down in the guard tower, on the table with my legs crossed. I had my Barrett and MP5 with me, ready. I kept looking out towards the road, lifting up my binoculars every five minutes. Glenn took Daryl outside to the far side of the prison. They drove off maybe twenty minutes ago, and that made me nervous. I never liked to be separated from him, but since last night, it's like the need to be next to Daryl increased.

I spotted something moving in between the trees, and I jumped down to the floor, bringing my binoculars up. My heart leaped in my throat when I noticed a vehicle slowly approaching us.

"Incoming!" I yelled into the radio and collected my weapons. I was in the front tower, it wasn't fucking safe in here. "Coming at the front, take cover."

"We comin' back," Daryl's voice cracked through the radio, but I was more focused on getting out of there. The first shots rang in the air, and I crouched down, moving towards the door. I heard the bullets hitting the metal wall that was hiding me from the view.

"I'm cut off, and Hershel's in the courtyard," Rick said, his voice strained through the walkie-talkie, and my eyes widened. He was still fucking outside.

"We're safe, but Axel been hit," Carl stated while I ran down the stairs to get out of the tower. I waited by the door, listening to the shots, and checked my MP5, making sure it's fully loaded.

"Maggie! Do you copy?" I spoke to the radio, taking a few deep breaths, preparing myself for what's outside.

"Yeah, I'm coming out now."

"Get Merle out, give him a rifle, tell him to cover Rick, he's still outside!" I ordered, and there was a silence for a few moments, my palms started sweating, and I took a last deep breath, slowly opening the door. I fired my gun in the direction where the car stopped and moved back to hide behind the brick wall. That's when I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder, making me stumble back. I yelped in pain and ran back inside the watchtower, shutting the door; it didn't come out of the front.

I touched my left shoulder, and blood pooled out of it, making me wince from how much it hurt. Fuck. My heart rate sped up, and I knew I had to calm down. My fingers sneaked to the back, to my shoulder blade, and there it was - a bullet wound. Clean through, that's good.

"They got sniper!" Carl's voice exclaimed, and I closed my eyes for a second.

"Where?" I asked, stammering a little. The sound of gunfire wasn't stopping, meaning they had really a lot of ammo to spare. We didn't.

"West tower, next to us."

OK, I can deal with it. I dropped the automatic to the ground and lifted Barrett, making sure that it's ready to fire. I closed my eyes and tried to remember where exactly it is. I kneeled on one leg, the other foot pressed firmly to the ground, and I propped my gun on it. I cracked the door, just by an inch, to see if I can spot the shooter, and there he was. He was shooting at the inner courtyard.

"We can't get him!" Carl exclaimed, he sounded scared, and I couldn't blame him; he was still just a kid.

"I got him, make sure you're behind the cover, and try to hit the car if you can. Is Merle in position?" I replied and then chucked the radio to the floor, grabbing the gun in both hands, lowering my head to the scope. I glanced at the grass in front of me, checking for the wind, but for now, the air was still.

My left shoulder was throbbing, and I could feel the blood dripping down my arm, but I pushed it down, focusing on the task. I breathed out and then in, slowly, shutting off the sounds that were surrounding me. I aimed my weapon, placing a finger on a trigger.

"I'm there, Dollface," I half-heard Merle's reply, and when I made sure that my aim is correct, I pulled, firing a bullet, hitting the shooter right in the head.

"Sniper down, fire towards the car. Just don't shoot me!" I spoke to the radio, yanking the door and running to hide behind the wall. I brought my gun up and tried to use the scope to find Rick. I think I saw him by the small bridge, lying in the grass.

"Merle, can you see Rick?"

"I do, Doll."

"Shoot any incoming walkers. Glenn, where the fuck are you?"

"We're on our way, El," Daryl's gruff voice made me calm down a little, and I nodded to myself. The gunshots stopped, and I heard a car approaching, fast. My heart leaped in my chest, a small smile on my face.

I switched to the MP5 again and peeked out to see where Glenn and Daryl were, but it wasn't our vehicle. A small truck was speeding towards the gate. My eyes widened at that view, and I started shooting, trying to get the tires. Before I could do any damage, I had to hide again, by the parked car stood Governor and some other guy. Once they spotted me, they focused they gunfire on me.

"Track incoming!" I yelled to the radio, just when the loud sound of crush echoed next to me, and I watched a big metal gate flew to the ground. The vehicle ran over it to the second one, leaving us completely exposed.

I yelled in frustration and stepped aside, firring at the Governor again. He was laughing, and observing all this chaos with a smug face. I gritted my teeth and aimed once more towards that man hitting him in the leg. But, when bullets hit the wall next to my face, I ducked down, rolling myself behind the brick wall and panting. Fuck. At least I hit the prick somewhere.

"Oh, shit!" I exclaimed when I noticed what's happening in the courtyard. The van parked in the middle of it, and the back door opened, releasing dozens of walkers. Seconds later, a driver came out, heavy helmet covering his head, with some kind of chest plate and tape covering his arms and legs. Well, that might help with walkers, but not bullets.

I brought my gun up and aimed for his legs as he tried to run towards the gate, back to the car parked outside. My jaw clenched when I fired in rapid succession at the man not batting an eyelash. Bullets pierced the tape, blood oozing from both of man's legs, and he fell to the ground, screaming in pain. I smirked triumphantly, but that quickly vanished when I realized we're not out of it yet, far from that. I peeked out and noticed that the Governor's car is talking of. Yelling in frustration, I shot at them, breaking the back window until my gun clicked.

Fuck. I quickly released the mug and took a new one from my pocket, loading it. But they were gone before I could raise my weapon again, making me scream. That's when I noticed the pick-up approaching fast. Finally.

There were shots behind me and yells, people trying to deal with walkers, but the bigger issue was the gate that was down. Oh, and geeks who started leaving the forest, slowly making their way here.

"They're gone. Rick, run for the hole in the fence. Merle cover him, I'm on my way," I barked into the walkie-talkie just when Glenn stopped the car. I saw Daryl getting out, and I focused on the younger man. "Hershel and Katana are in the field, go get them!"

Glenn didn't wait any longer. He sped out again, and I motioned at Daryl. "Here!" I opened the gate to the catwalk just as the walkers started filling from the outside, locking it back so they couldn't follow us.

"El!" Daryl stopped me, grabbing my right arm, but I shook my head.

"I'll live, now we need to get Rick, come on!" I told him sternly and started running through the catwalk towards where the sheriff was.

"Doll, I'm running out," Merle's voice cracked through both of our radios, and I pumped my legs faster, coming to the hole in the fence.

"Daryl." I got man's attention, and I threw him MP5. He caught it and swang his crossbow over his head, placing it on his back. "I'll cover you."

Dixon didn't wait for my reply just ducked down and get out, towards where Rick was. He has trapped, two walkers pressing on him, and he was barely holding them off. I brought my Barrett up, but before I could take the shot, a bullet landed in one of the geek's head, making it fall to the ground.

"Now, I'm out, Doll," Merle stated, his voice gruff on the radio. I didn't have time to reply, I focused on the walkers that were still emerging from the forest, clearing the path for Rick and Daryl. When my gun clicked, only a few were left, and I chucked the weapon to the ground, leaving it in the catwalk.

"Daryl!" I shouted, uring the men to hurry up, and I threw one of my knives at the approaching walker. I heard the footsteps, and I turned in that direction. Rick was running towards me, Daryl right behind him, shooting at walkers behind them.

I crossed the chained fence and yelled at them to come in. Both men came through, and Rick helped me close the hole with a red cord. When it was done, and silence finally fell, I breathed out, running a hand over my hair.

"Doll, ya good?" Merle's voice sounded like he was worried, and that made me smile. I grabbed the walkie-talkie, pressing the button down to reply.

"We got Rick. Anybody's hurt?"

"I got Hershel and Michonne back," Glenn spoke, his voice shaky, and he sounded out of breath. "Axel got hit, but Hershel's looking at him now."

"Good, is inner courtyard secured?"

"Yeah."

"Alrighty, get back inside. Merle, there's extra ammo in the duffel in my cell. I want you to watch out until we're back." I spoke, and it's like Rick noticed me for the first time. Now that adrenaline was disappearing, he acknowledged that I let Merle out and provided him a weapon. My face went blank, and I rose my eyebrow challengingly at the sheriff. I mean, he went crazy, so in my opinion, he doesn't get a vote.

"You sure, Elena?" Glenn growled through the radio, and I cleared my throat before answering.

"I love you all, but he's a better shot than any of you. And he saved Rick's ass just now, so let's call it a trial. You can shoot him if he does something stupid."

"So much faith ya got in me, Doll."

"Shut up and got on with it!" I hooked the radio back over my belt and looked at the two men next to me. Daryl was chewing on his bottom lip and looking at my shoulder. Oh, right, I forgot about that. "What now?"

"We need to go back," Rick started, looking around and then pointed to the watchtower where the shooter was before. "We can go back to the gate, get to the other dog walk, and we're home. But first, we need to take care of this." The sheriff pointed at my wound, and I couldn't agree more. Now that everything was over, I felt the pain, and the blood loss was starting to make me dizzy.

Daryl grabbed his red rug from the back pocket and stomped to me, wrapping it tightly over my armpit. I whined in pain a little, and his brows knitted together at the sound.

"Sorry," He mumbled, making sure that cloth is secure, before locking his eyes with mine.

"It's fine. We need to go, we're sitting ducks in here," I told him, pressing my hand to his cheek, trying to show him that I'm alright.

"OK, let's go!" Rick ordered, and we started jogging towards the fallen gate.

* * *

When we finally came back, Rick urged us inside the cellblock, locking Merle away in the common room, making me grit my teeth. But the sheriff seemed to be back in charge, so I stayed quiet, especially that I was in a lot of pain and just didn't have the strength to argue with him.

Axel was shot in the leg, but even though he lost a lot of blood, he'll live. Oscar, who stayed with Judith during the attack, was now sitting with his friend. They were in one of the lowest cells, so they could still hear our conversation, though Axel was out.

Now I was sitting on the steps while Hershel was taking care of my wound. He cleared it up, and I had to pull the straps of my wife-beater and bra down. My reins layed down next to me, and I was holding my top with my hand, sure to not flash anyone. I bet Merle would fucking love it. Daryl was leaning on the railing, in front of our cell, his eyes were observing me.

"We're not leaving," Rick stated forcefully, but I saw others' faces, and they didn't agree. And that they don't trust his judgment, not anymore.

"We can't stay here," Hershel argued, pulling at the stitches he was just applying to my skin. I hissed at him because it fucking hurt, and he quickly mumbled an apology.

"What if there's another sniper?" Maggie asked, and I nodded.

"How the hell did he get there? I haven't seen him come in. And there was no hole in the fence," My voice was strained, from pain and tiredness.

"We can't even go outside," Beth commented.

"Not in the daylight," Carol always optimists dismissed blonde girl's statement.

"If Rick says we're not running, we're not running," Glenn's voice held power, he still had so much anger from the days before.

"No, better to live like rats." Merle was leaning on the gate, his left hand loosely between the bars, and his voice was mocking. I closed my eyes, and a sigh escaped my lips. I didn't have enough energy to defend this idiot.

"You got a better idea?" Rick asked him, placing his hands on his hips.

"Yeah. We should've slid out of here last night, live to fight another day. But we lost that window, didn't we? I'm sure he's got scouts on every road out of this place by now."

"We ain't scared of that prick," Daryl's gruff voice echoed in the cellblock, and I smiled. That's the man who's not afraid of dying and fighting for his family.

"Y'all should be. That truck through the fence thing?" Merle grew more serious, and I knew he's actually worried. He saw first hand what Governor's capable of. And now he was sharing that information with us. Hershel finished my stitches, and I nodded in thanks, climbing the stairs, while older Dixon continued his speech.

"That's just him ringing the doorbell. We might have some thick walls to hide behind, but he's got the guns and the numbers. And if he takes the high ground around this place, shoot. He could just starve us out if he wanted to."

"Let's put him in the other cell block," Maggie hissed, playing nervously with a bandage on her hand.

"No. He's got a point." Daryl retorted, and I stopped next to him, placing a hand on his arm to prevent his pacing.

"This is all you. You started this!"

"What's the difference who's fault it is?" Beth interrupted her sister. "What do we do?"

"I say we should leave," Hershel was adamant on that option, but without a leg, crying baby and injured Axel, we wouldn't do well on the road. "We can't just sit here."

Rick glanced at the older man, his face vacant, and then he just turned around and started walking towards the gate.

"Get back here!" Hershel yelled after the sheriff, the sound of his crutches loud when he moved forward. That made Rick stop, but he didn't turn around, he was touching his gun, and I noticed his hands were shaking. "You're slipping, Rick. We've all seen it. We understand why, but now is not the time. You once said this isn't a democracy. Now you have to own up to that. I put my family's life in your hands. Not Elena's or Daryl's. Yours. So get your head clear and do something."

"Damn," I whispered, and Daryl hummed in agreement. Rick looked around the room and nodded slowly.

"They won't come back so soon. Elena shot the Governor, so he needs a doctor. I'll see how it looks out there. Get something to eat, and check our ammo," Rick's voice was quiet, lacking his usual force. I think he was really giving up. I watched him unlock the door, and he spoke again, this time to Merle.

"You stay here this time. You got food, and bed in there," The sheriff pointed to a small cage with a bed in the corner of a common room. "You touch, or say something I don't like and you back in isolation."

After that, Rick walked outside, and we all sighed heavily.

"Go lay down, I'll be there in a bit," Daryl told me and pushed me gently towards our cell. I plunged myself on a bed, careful of my wound, and waited for the hunter to come back. It wasn't even three in the afternoon, and I was already done with today.


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks guys for all the votes and the good words!  
> Yes, I do have certain plans for Merle, and I'm super excited for you guys to read it.   
> Hope you'll enjoy this chapter.  
> Cheers:)

My cell was cold, and it felt refreshing to just stand there for a few minutes, not feeling the pressure of fight and not hearing the constant growl of walkers. A heavy sigh escaped me, and I used my right hand to pull the shirt off my dirty body. There was a bottle of water on the table, and I used what was left in it to fill the small sink. I glanced down at myself and noticed that even my pants where covered in blood. Some of it had to be mine; other was from the walkers.

I scrunched my face in the discus and quickly popped the button, trying my hardest to not strain my injured shoulder. I shrugged trousers off, leaving me just in my underwear. I grabbed a rug from my pack and soaked it in water. Getting rid of excess, I pressed the cloth to my body. In slow strokes, I tried to clean the dried liquid of my neck and arms.

"Um, I'll come back later," I heard Daryl stammering from the door, and I spun around, my body instantly flushed at the thought of him seeing me like this. With sweaty, blood-covered skin and with unshaved legs. Of course, we are in a fucking apocalypse, but you can't blame the girl for being vein in a moment like that. The hunter was blushing vividly, but his eyes were on me until he noticed my smirk, that is.

"I'll just get dressed," I told him, moving towards my backpack. I fished out my cargo trousers and a new top, continuing playfully. "You know, now you're allowed to look, Big Boy."

"Stop," His voice was strained, so I looked over at him, my eyes raking over his firm body. There was defiantly a bulge, visible even in his loose pants, pressing against his fly. I licked my licks unconsciously. "El."

I snapped my eyes to him, and I swallowed heavily. "Well, it's true. Unless you want to forget what happened yesterday. And this morning."

"Nah, just--. I told ya I don't know what I'm doin'." He mumbled, bringing his thumb to bite on his nails.

"Stop," I told him. Daryl furrowed his brows, so I crossed the cell stopping in front of him and pushing his hand down. "It's hot. And I'm really having trouble not pushing you on the bed," My voice was husky, and I saw how his adam's apple bobbed when I spoke.

"Can I come in?" Carol's voice echoed outside, and I chuckled dryly.

"Saved by the bell, Big Boy," I told him and cleared my throat. "Yeah, come in."

I quickly moved to the bed, putting my pants on, and Carol gasped when she came in.

"Am I interrupting something?" I didn't have to look at her to know she had a smug look on her face.

"Nope, just trying to get rid of some blood." I zipped my pants on and started putting the top on, realizing I won't be able to do it without help. "Um, I might need some help with that."

Seconds later, strong and warm hands helped me bring the shirt through my head, careful to not touch the wound.

"Ya alright?" Daryl's palms lingered on my skin for a little longer than necessary, making my smile.

"Yes, Big Boy. Now, we have a guest. What's up, Carol?" I asked, looking up at the woman. She kept glancing between Daryl and me, and her eyes were shining with happiness. I heard the man behind me plunge himself on a bed, and I motioned for Carol to sit on the chair we had here.

"Well, I haven't got the chance to say that I'm happy that you both made it. And that you didn't leave."

I sighed and sat at the edge of a bed, careful to not touch Daryl. I didn't want to make him any more uncomfortable. He was already avoiding any eye contact with us and was playing with one of his bolts.

"For what?" Daryl finally grunted a response, and Carol tilted her head. "All of this?"

"This is home."

"This is a tomb."

"That's what T-Dog called it," Carol spoke quietly, glancing at me, and I sent her a sad smile. The memory of the big, gentle man flooded my mind. "I thought he was right until you found me."

Daryl smiled lightly, and I put a hand on his knee, stroking it gently.

"He's your brother, but he's not good for you," Carol added after a moment of silence, and I could feel Daryl tense at that. "Don't let him bring you down. After all, look how far you've come."

The hunter glanced at me, and my heart flipped. Carol chuckled softly, and we joined her, enjoying that moment of peace.

"And you two finally admitted what we all knew for months," She plucked her lips and wiggled her brows, making me hide my face in my hand.

"Shut up," Daryl grunted, but there was a playfulness in his voice.

"Exactly, stop giving us shit. Let's go. One of us should be keeping an eye on Merle," I stated and stood up, but Daryl didn't release my hand.

"Ya sure? Ya should rest." I rolled my eyes but smiled nonetheless.

"Yes. I'm fine. I'm going to eat something," I told him, squeezing his hand before he let me go. Carol left the cell, the cloth falling behind her, and I used that to steal a quick kiss from the hunter. "Do you want some?"

"Yeah, I'll be there in a bit." Daryl sat up straighter and reached his hand out, bringing me to him. I smirked at that and leaned down for one more kiss.

When I got to the kitchen area, I noticed that Carol was stirring something in the pot, and Oscar was chopping things on the counter next to her. Michonne was on the floor, doing push-ups. How long it has been since I did any of it, I really need to start again. If only I wouldn't be wounded every time I have those thoughts. But it was Merle who put my whole body on high alert. He was out of the cell, sitting on top of one of the tables, watching the Black woman like a pray.

I leaned on the door leading to the cellblock, watching, to make sure he doesn't do or say something stupid.

"Smart to stay fit," Merle commented, and I noticed how Katana's shoulders tensed upon hearing his gruff voice. "Don't leave out the cardio."

"Merle, don't bother her," I spoke from my spot, and he glanced at me, furrowing his brows.

"Just tryin' to have a friendly conversation here, Dollface." He faced Michonne again and kept talking. "Ya know, if we're gonna live under the same roof, we should clear the air. This whole huntin' ya down thing, that was just business. Carryin' out orders."

"Hm. Like the Gestapo," Michonne spoke in a low voice, not stopping her exercises.

"Yeah, exactly. I done a lot of things I ain't proud of, before and after. Anyway, hope we can get past it. Let bygones be bygones."

I sighed when he said it and watched him leave the room, going outside. I followed him, exchanging an annoyed look with Carol.

"Merle!" I called after him, stopping him in the corridor, between the doors. He turned around with a clenched jaw and fists.

"What?"

"Look, I get that it's your weird way of apologizing, but you need to fucking work on it," I told him quietly, so others won't overhear us.

"Ain't it what ya wanted? For me to be nice. That's me nice." He grunted with that cocky look on his face again. I smacked my lips and rose an eyebrow giving him a stern look.

"No, that's you antagonizing her. Can you try for once in your life being sincere?"

"Doll. I ain't a nice person. I don't know what ya did to my brother, but it ain't gonna work on me."

I stared at him for a second with a blank face before shifting closer to him. "Do you want to know what we did to him? We showed him kindness. Something neither of you knew in the past life. And I'm really sorry about it, no one should be treated like that--"

"I don't know what ya yapping about," He hissed in my face, and I scrunched my face.

"The scars. I assumed you have some too," I said slowly, watching Merle's whole body go stiff, but his eyes glistered with a surprise. "Oh, you didn't know."

"Doll, I dunno what ya playing at, but ya need to stop."

"Your father, Merle. When you left, who do you think he turned to when he had his angry fit?" The man's eyes widened, and he shook his head like he didn't believe me. "That's what we did. We showed Daryl that everyone got scars. Some are outside, and some are inside."

I stepped back and lifted my shirt, exposing my belly to him. His eyes darted down to my own reminders of human cruelty. "But no matter how much you've been hurt. There are people who care about you, who would die for you. Because you're worth it. Worth the efforts to get to know you, and worth listening to what you got to say. That you matter. That's what we did to him, Merle. And we could do the same for you. We could be people who you actually trust. But you'd have to drop the cocky mask of a bad boy and let us in."

I finished and dropped my shirt, waiting for his response. He was gritting his teeth, and there was something in his eyes that I didn't recognize, but only for a second.

"Whatever, Doll. Carrying makes ya weak. Get's ya killed." He said, bringing this annoying smirk of his again.

"You know what? A year ago, I'd agree without blinking. But I learned that if you care about someone, you'll do anything to keep them safe, and it's not a bad thing. Think about it."

I heard the footsteps running from the outside, and heard Carl's voice calling out for his dad. The boy yanked the door and stopped when he saw Merle and I standing in his way.

"Andrea's here!" Carl claimed, panting softly, and my eyes went round.

"Go, get your dad." I shifted aside, letting the boy pass, and I moved to the small chest in the entrance where we put out guns earlier on.

"Governor could've sent her," Merle started reaching for my MP5, and I slapped his hand away.

"Hey, don't touch my baby. Take that one." I shoved a rifle in his hands, grabbing my automatic tightly and checking how much ammo's left. "Or maybe she finally realized what kind of wacko he is."

"Nah, she's comfortable there."

"Yeah, and she got a streak for a bad boys." At that comment, Merle sent me a questioning look, and I sighed. "At the farm, her and Shane-- you know."

"I'll be damned. Really?"

"Yep." I put the strap of my weapon over my good shoulder and grabbed two other rifles when I hear noises. Rick and Daryl came out of the cellblock, and I quickly gave them the guns. The sheriff led the way down the stairs, and through the courtyard. We stayed low, making sure to take cover if Andrea was a decoy and Governor was attacking again.

"Go," Rick ordered, and Merle moved forward, towards another car. He looked down the scope surveilling the area.

"Clear!" When he said it, the rest of pushed the line. Michonne and I hid behind the big wooden crate, aiming towards the gate. The men spread out, pointing their guns at Andrea.

"Are you alone?" Rick asked, but the blonde woman looked around herself, noting how many walkers were surrounding her.

"Open the gate," She yelled. Andrea had a walker on a snare pole, the same we saw in that pit in Woodbury, and I scowled at that. She even adapted their techniques now, no matter that it's a good repellent, it's about how she did it.

"Are you alone?"

"Rick! Open the gate!"

The sheriff hesitated for a second but then nodded at Daryl and threw him keys, so the hunter could unlock the gate. Merle and Rick came closer, aiming at the woman, and when Andrea was safely on this side, after releasing her walker, sheriff shouted again.

"Hands up! Turn around!"

"What?"

"Turn around now!" Rick pushed her to the chained fence, face first, and quickly searched her, taking away her handgun. Then he shoved her down. I stood up from my hiding spot, noting how Katana's body language changed. There was something like regret on her face, but it quickly disappeared, she was really good at hiding her emotions, I'll give her that.

"I asked if you were alone," Rick said calmer, taking off Andrea's pack of her shoulders and throwing it towards me. I stepped forward and lifted the bag, pulling it over my right shoulder, lowering the gun at the same time.

"I am."

"Welcome back. Get up."

We led Andrea back into the kitchen area, and she immediately climbed down the stairs to embrace Carol. After all, she did save the older woman's life. Carol hugged her tightly, a happy smile creeping onto her face.

I followed Daryl and sat down on the table next to him, swinging my legs playfully. I placed Andrea's pack behind us, not sure what Rick wanted to do with it. Daryl sat on my right, and I smiled lightly at him. Our shoulders were touching, and I felt content. It's good to know that even with his brother in here, watching us - because trust me, Merle was watching us like a hawk - Daryl still felt comfortable enough to be close to me.

"After you saved me, we thought you were dead," Carol spoke, breaking the silence, still cradling Andrea in her arms. The blonde woman pulled away and looked around the room at our faces.

"Hershel. Oh my God," She gasped at the sight of the older man, his crutches in place, he was balancing on one leg. I saw Oscar and Axel waking inside, the latter moving slowly until he reached the bench and sat down. I smiled widely at him, seeing him walking around was a good sign.

"I can't believe this," Andrea continued, and I snapped my eyes back to her. "Where's Shane?"

Of course, he would be the first person she would ask about. I snorted and crossed my arms, answering her question coldly. "Dead."

Her face fell, and I felt a ping of satisfaction; I never was fond of her, and now once again, she's on the enemy's team.

"And Lori?"

"She had the girl," Hershel answered while Rick lowered his head to hide his grief. "Lori didn't survive."

"Neither did T-Dog," Maggie added.

"I'm so sorry," Andrea whispered, and she actually looked like she meant it. Alright, after all, she did spend the beginning of the fucking apocalypse with us, I'll give her that.

"Rick, I-- You all live here?"

"Here and the cell block," Glenn confirmed from behind her.

"There?" Andrea pointed at the door leading to our cells and took a step forward. "Can I go in?"

Daryl sat straighter, and I jumped down to my feet, but it was Rick who stopped her, blocking her way.

"I won't allow that," The sheriff's voice was firm, and his face was set in stone.

"I'm not an enemy, Rick."

"Well, apparently you're sleeping with one, makes you accessory to a crime," I told her and cocked my eyebrow.

"It's not your business who I'm sleeping with," Andrea stated, giving me a dirty look. I wanted to go over to her, but Daryl's hand around my wrist stopped me.

"We had that field, courtyard until your boyfriend tore down the fence with a truck and shot us up," Rick told her, placing his hands on his hips. I started to associate that posture with his angry cop attitude.

"He said you fired first."

"He's lying."

"He injured an inmate, Axel," Hershel said slowly, pointing at the blonde man behind me. Axel waved his hand mockingly, the other against his stomach where the wound was. "He injured Elena."

I pushed the strap of my top aside, showing her the bandage on my shoulder.

"Look. I didn't know anything about that." Andrea's face looked flushed, and she held a hand to her mouth. "As soon as I found out, I came. I didn't even know you were in Woodbury until after the shoot out."

"That was days ago," Glenn exclaimed, scrunching his face.

"I told you, I came as soon as I could." She looked around at our faces. Faces of people she used to know, but now they were full of rage and hostility. She wasn't one of us. Not anymore, and we couldn't trust her.

Andrea turned around, and her eyes met Katana. "What have you told them?"

"Nothing," Michonne responded, in a sweet voice, but her expression was mocking.

"I don't get it. I left Atlanta with you people, and now I'm the odd man out?"

"He almost killed Michonne, and he would have killed us," Glenn told her.

"With his finger on the trigger," Andrea spat, pointing towards Merle. "Isn't he the one who kidnapped you? Beat you?"

"Bottom line is, the Governor held Glenn and Maggie hostage." I brushed off Daryl's hand and stepped closer to the blonde woman, catching her attention. "Yeah, Merle brought them there, but your dear boyfriend didn't have to hold them and interrogate them. He hurt Michonne. He put Daryl and Merle in the pit to fight to the death. For what? Entertainment? And then he came down here, to where we live to finish it off!"

"I cannot excuse or explain what Philip has done," Andrea finally said after a moment of silence. "But I am here trying to bring us together. We have to work this out."

"There's nothing to work out," Rick interrupted the woman and stepped closer to her. "We're gonna kill him. I don't how or when, but we will."

"We can settle this. There is room at Woodbury for-- for all of you."

"Huh, you know better than that," Merle finally spoke, a twisted grin on his face.

"If you think we'd go there and live with a psychopath as a leader, you're as crazy as he is. Or maybe just incredibly naive," I told Andrea, sitting back on the table next to Daryl.

"What makes you think this man wants to negotiate?" Hershel asked. "Did he say that?"

Andrea pressed her fingers to the bridge of her nose and shook her head lightly. "No."

"Then why did you come here?" Rick asked her, raising his eyebrow.

"Because he's gearing up for war. The people are terrified. They see you as killers. They're training to attack."

"I'll tell you what," Daryl spoke for the first time in a dangerously low voice. He brought his hand to my knee and squeezed it, setting my body on fire, at the display of his affection. "Next time you see Philip, you tell him I'm gonna take his other eye."

"And tell him that person who shot him says hi," I added, smirking mockingly.

"We've taken too much shit for too long," Glenn stated, his voice loud and full of anger. "He wants a war? He's got one."

"Rick," Andrea spoke softly, turning her attention back to the sheriff. "If you don't sit down and try to work this out, I don't know what's gonna happen. He has a whole town."

The blonde woman turned around, glaring at all of us. "Look at you. You've lost so much already. You can't stand alone anymore."

"You wanna make this right, you get us inside," Rick told her sternly. But she shook her head immediately.

"No."

"Then, we got nothing to talk about."

"There are innocent people."

Rick didn't listen to her, though. He walked away towards the cells, leaving the woman hanging, disbelief on her face.

"If you're hungry, we can get you something. If you want to see the baby, you can. But then, you're going to leave." I spoke with a blank face. "If you want to stay, you can, but then there's no going back to that psycho."

Andrea pressed her lips, and gave me a sharp nod, walking towards Michonne, asking the dark-skinned woman to speak to her privately. They both left the building, and I closed my eyes for a moment.

"Eli!" Maggie's voice made me jolt up, Daryl's hand fell to the table while I stood in front of the brown-haired woman. "Come on!"

She wrapped her slim fingers around my wrist and pulled me towards the cells.

"Mags, the hell you doing?"

"Just need to tell you something," I heard the footsteps behind us, and I saw Carol and Beth following us, both with huge smiles on their faces.

"Nope," I tried to pull away, but Maggie's grip was firm, and she led me up the stairs, where baby Judith was cooing in her box. I sighed heavily, giving up and let her take me to the other floor. The little girl squealed when she saw faces surrounding her, and I smiled at her involuntarily.

"Here, take her," Carol ordered, taking Judith out and putting her in my arms. "Less likely, you'll kill us."

I glared at the older woman but quickly averted my eyes down to the baby. Her eyes started to clear out, and they were dark, brown, just like Lori's. Well, or Shane's, depending on how you try to look at that. She was cute, there were no doubts about that.

"So, I noticed the secret glances between you and certain redneck," Maggie started in a hushed voice, making sure that others won't hear us. My eyes shifted to Carol, surprised that she didn't blab already. The gray-haired woman just cocked her eyebrows at me and smirked.

"And?" I asked, biting my bottom lip.

"Beth, I don't know if you heard, but Daryl kissed Elena when we were in Woodbury," Maggie said casually, and her sister's eyes went round.

"That's so exciting! Finally," She exclaimed, and I just groaned, closing my eyes.

"Yes, but now they're more touchy, and there's somethin' in their eyes."

"You really not going to let go, are you?" I mumbled, and they all grinned, shaking their heads.

"Alright. No details. There was potentially some conversation about our feelings. And maybe a proper kiss." I finally admitted, making the women around me squeal in excitement.

"How was it?"

"Was he good?"

"Is he big?"

"Whoa!" I rose my hand to stop them from talking. "Stop. I'm not telling you any of this! And don't any of you dare to ask Daryl that sort of stuff. I managed to stop him from running, I'd like to keep it like that."

"Fine. You know, we're asking because we care, right?" Maggie stated and wrapped her arms around me. I shifted slightly, so she didn't crush the baby and returned the hug.

"Yeah, yeah." I pulled away and noticed that Daryl was standing at the bottom of the stairs, his eyes burning into mine. I cleared my throat and smiled gently at him. He nodded and turned around to go back to the kitchen.

I handed Judith to Carol and excused myself, realizing that I hadn't eaten since this morning, always being interrupted by something or someone.

Andrea decided to go back to Woodbury, not a big surprise there. We gave her one of the prison cars, that was still working.

It was already dark when we all filled our bellies with food and gathered around in the cell block. I stood next to Daryl, watching Beth and Carol chat and laugh. We had a long and exhausting day behind us, but no one died. Not this time and that was a win. Oscar and Carl were on watch at the moment, and Axel was resting in his cell.

I felt Daryl's hand sneak to mine, and our fingers interlocked behind my back. I sighed quietly in content, glancing up at him. His bright eyes watched his brother, who stood at the entrance, so I moved my face there. Merle's face was blank, but he was definitely observing us and our interactions. I smiled gently at older Dixon, making him huff and roll his eyes.

"Ya told him," Daryl whispered in my ear, and I nodded, moving my eyes back to his. I scrunched my face and bit my lip before replying.

"Yes. I'm sorry. I-- I assumed he knew. Otherwise, I wouldn't say anything," I explained quietly, and the hunter's thumb slowly caressed my hand.

"Is alright."

"Did he speak to you about it?"

"Yeah," Daryl replied shortly, smiling lightly. "He says I'm a pussy. Gone soft."

I took a deep breath and squeezed his hand tighter. "You're not. You're the strongest person I know. Carrying isn't being soft."

"I know, El. Just wish he'd get it too."

I was proud of him. He didn't let Merle get to him, and the fact that he wasn't ashamed to keep me close in front of the others spoke of how he changed through the winter. He matured and opened up. He usually wouldn't say anything like that, especially in the place where others could hear us. In the woods, maybe, but not here.

_"They hung a sign up in our town._

_If you live it up, you won't live it down."_

Beth's soft voice echoed in the block when she started singing. Everybody stopped what they were doing, just to listen to her. Michonne was sitting on some box, in front of the cell she claimed as her own.

Maggie was resting on the steps, a small smile tugging at her lips while watching her younger sister. Hershel stepped out of his cell and stood next to Daryl, observing his daughter proudly.

In the corner of my eye, I could see Merle shifting, like he'd be uncomfortable with what's happening. Rick started climbing down the stair with Judith in his arms.

_"So she left Monte Rio, son,_

_just like a bullet leaves a gun._

_With charcoal eyes and Monroe hips,_

_She went and took the California trip."_

Rick walked silently over to where we stood while Glenn sat down next to Maggie. And for a moment, we were all just listening, enjoying soft notes.

_"Oh, the moon was gold and her hair like wind._

_Said don't look back now, just come on, Jim._

_You got to hold on, hold on._

_You got to hold on. Take my hand._

_I'm standing right here._

_You got to hold on._

_Well, he gave her a dimestore watch_

_And a ring made from a spoon_

_Everyone's looking for someone to blame_

_When you share my bed, you share my name."_

If only life could be so easy. But the lyrics were right. We were looking for people to blame: Merle, Governor, Rick, me. And we had to rise above that, or it will tear this group apart, and that's the last thing I wanted.

"Some reunion, huh?" Daryl commented quietly, looking at the sheriff, and pulling me closer to him. Our hands were still interlocked, on the small of my back, and with how he made me shift, Merle for sure could see what we were doing.

"She's in a jam," Rick answered, referring to Andrea. Yeah, that she definitely was. Split between us, and this new community, which had fancy houses, food, showers.

"We all are," Hershel stated.

"But we going to get better, as long as we stick together," I added and glanced down at sleeping baby. Every time I looked at her, I could feel my scars itch. She was a reminder of what I lost, and even after all those years and all the times I held Judith, it was still deep inside me.

"Andrea's persuasive. This fella's armed to the teeth bent on destruction."

"So what do ya wanna do?"

"We match it," There was a power in Rick's voice, giving me hope that maybe, just maybe he was finally getting back from the crazy town. "I'm going on a run."

"We'll head out tomorrow," Daryl offered, pointing between him and me. I mean, we were a team, a package deal, so it was apparent he meant me, even without looking.

"No, you stay here. Keep an eye on Merle." At that, we both glanced back at the older Dixon, an excellent way of letting him know what we're talking about. He was leaning his back on the gate, listening to Beth's singing and observing us as we spoke. I sent him a grin and averted my gaze back to the sheriff, who kept talking.

"I'm glad you stayed. And I know why you said what you did." Those words were directed to me, and I bit my lip nervously. "Even though it was a bit of blackmail. So I need you to stay here. Because if he causes a problem, it's on both of you."

"I got him," Daryl grunted, and I nodded.

"We'll keep him busy. He could help me draw a plan, in case of another attack. He knows what to expect," I admitted, and Rick hummed in approval.

"I'll take Michonne."

"Ya sure, that's a good idea?"

"I'll find out. And Carl. He's ready. You two hold it down here."

"Ya got it."

"Alrighty."

I smiled at Rick and the baby in his arms, happy that sheriff finally worked out his issues enough to at least hold his child. I leaned my head on Daryl's shoulder, and he tensed for a moment, pulling his hand away. I thought he will push me away, but he just moved his arm, and his large palm landed on my waist. I closed my eyes and enjoyed his closeness and Beth's singing.

_"When there's nothing left to keep you here._

_When you're falling behind in this big blue world._

_You got to hold on, hold on._

_You got to hold on._

_Take my hand. I'm standing right here. Got to hold on."_


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh boy, are you in for a treat this weekend. I have two awesome (in my opinion, of course) chapters and I just can't wait for you all to read it. One today, the other tomorrow.
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy it.
> 
> Cheers :)

**Day 297**

"You sure you don't want me to go?" I asked Rick, standing next to the car, he was preparing for a run. He shook his head, and dropped another empty bag into the trunk, closing it in.

"No, I need you here," The sheriff stated, and I crossed my arms.

"And Katana? You think you can trust her?"

"We need to find out, and that's the best way."

"Look, I'm just worried. I know that you think I'm questioning your decisions--"

"You were." Rick interrupted me with a stern look, stopping what he was doing.

"Yes, but only because you're not yourself. You know that." I furrowed my brows and tilted my head when Rick placed his hand on my shoulder.

"We can talk about that when I'm back. Keep an eye on Merle."

"We'll don't worry. And I'll try to think of a plan in case of Governor attacks again," I informed him, and he squeezed my shoulder, turning around and yelling for Carl and Michonne to hurry up.

I saw them out and shut the gate after them. I walked back into the cellblock, asking Carol and Maggie to take a watch. Hershel was changing Axel's bandages, and Beth was with Judith.

I urged Daryl, Oscar, and Glenn to the sitting area, to gather around the table. I had some blank papers I took from the office and a pencil. I asked Glenn to draw the corridors again, leading to the tombs, and I added what I remembered, so did Oscar. I turned around to glance at Merle, who stood in the doorway to his cell. I patted the empty seat next to me and rose my eyebrows at him.

"So, he came with one sniper and two other people," I stated the obvious, and the one-handed man next to me snorted.

"That was scoutin'. Next time he'll come all in," Merle commented, and I nodded, looking over the prison's layout spread on the table in front of me.

"That's what I thought."

"So what we're gonna do?" Oscar asked. "This dude got more weapons and more people than us."

"Then we need to be smarter than 'im," Daryl said, his gruff voice powerful and robust. He's right, though. Governor had more forces, and we were no match to that. But there were ways around it. I tapped the pen on the table while my brain was spinning with all the possible tactics. I closed my eyes, trying to access the memories of the books I read in the past, ignoring the sounds around me. We could post the people in the watchtowers, but if what Merle said was right, they had means to blow them up. So we would lose people.

I smiled and pried my eyes open, meeting Glenn's chocolate ones. He looked at me questioningly, and I cleared my throat.

" _'All warfare is based on deception. Hence, when we are able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must appear inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near.'_ " I spoke loudly, remembering the books that were recommended to read during my time at the Academy.

"What?" Oscar asked, making me smile wider.

"Sun Tzu, Art of War," I told them and immediately started scrambling on a paper. "There's more of them, so we need to ambush them. Merle said they will come all in."

"So ya wanna trap us in here with 'em?" Daryl asked slowly, not understanding where I'm going with it.

"Sort of. Andrea said that the whole town is training. So it's safe to assume that those people never killed before, or never actually been in a combat situation."

"He had about twenty soldiers before the Woodbury's attack," Merle added, and I nodded.

"Right, minus you," I tilted my head, trying to remember the numbers, counting in my head. "I took down at least five, and I saw Rick shoot two."

"I got one," Oscar mumbled.

"Four," Daryl told us, and I nodded happily.

"So that leaves seven, eight with Governor himself. The rest are townsfolks. We need to scare them off, make them get inside, and panic."

"Oh, I got it!" Glenn exclaimed and started putting crosses in the places on our map. "Lead them in. When they got in the tombs, we open the gates to the gyms and lead some walkers."

"Some of us hide in the boiler room. The doors jammed, so it will be easy to throw flashbangs and tear gas at them. Hopefully, panic will set."

"What about the alarms? We could use them," Oscar bumped in, and I nodded, bringing my finger to my lips.

"We could use it, even more chaos." I leaned over the map and started writing. "Alrighty, let's put it in here. We empty the cellblock, make them think we're gone. Glenn and Maggie will hide outside. That way, they can let us know when they come. Rick and Michonne will let some walkers in, extra distraction. Merle, Daryl, and I will hide in the boiler room, while Oscar and Carol will take the generator."

"All sounds great, Doll. But they have military trucks with machine guns," Merle commented with a smug face.

"Yes, and from all, I heard of this guy, he's a cocky prick. I doubt he'll leave anyone outside," I told him, raising my brow challengingly. He hummed in response and pressed his lips.

"We could jam them while they're inside," Glenn added, glaring at the older Dixon. He still wasn't over what happened at Woodbury and didn't trust Merle, that much was clear to me.

"What 'bout the rest of us?" Daryl asked, and I felt his hand sneak to my knee under the table. My breath stuck in my throat, and I closed my eyes for a second, trying to control inappropriate thoughts that run through my mind. The hunter's thumb was caressing my leg through the fabric of my brown pants.

"They-- um," I cleared my throat, and glanced down at the papers, trying to hide my flushed face. "They'll be outside, hiding in the woods. Hershel can't run, Beth needs to look after Judith and Carl. And Axel's wound is still an issue, he shouldn't be on his feet for another week."

"The kid won't be happy," Oscar informed us, and I knew that he's right.

"Well, he'll have to get over it."

"How ya gonna let biters in without gettin' bit?" Merle asked out loud, making me look at him and grin widely.

"We'll hide them in their nest. Get some sheets and cover them in the walker's guts. When we have enough, they will hide in one of the cells. So what you think?" I finished and looked at the men around me. Daryl just squeezed my leg, which made me smile with pleasure. Oscar nodded, looking me in the eyes.

"That might work, boss lady."

"It's a good plan, should work. When he's back, we'll tell Rick, see if he got anything better to add," Glenn stated, while Merle stood up and patted my shoulder.

"Not bad, Doll."

"Andrea's here again!" Maggie's voice cracked through the radio, making us immediately stand up and run for the entrance. Did the blonde woman changed her mind and decided to side with us? It didn't seem like her, though.

"Where?" I asked, crouching down next to Maggie and taking binoculars from her hands. A red car was just stopping in front of the gate, two white flags hung from the windows, swinging gently in Georgia's breeze. It was indeed Andrea with some dark-haired dude behind the wheel.

"What you want?" I shouted, standing up. There were walkers slowly approaching the vehicle, but still far enough. Andrea stuck her head out.

"Three days at noon. Old factory between Woodbury and here. Philip will meet with Rick."

There were gone after that, making us look puzzled between each other. This could be a trap, but it could mean that Governor won't attack us for a few more days.

**Day 300**

The breeze in my loose locks was amazing. My body was flushed against Daryl's back, and my hands were bravely resting on his thighs. When I placed them there for the first time, just after we cleared off from the prison, the hunter went stiff. But after a few moments, he relaxed, and now I enjoyed our smooth ride to the meeting point.

When Rick came back from his run, with tons of guns, we quickly filled him on what Andrea said. And on our plan in case prison would be attacked again. We spent hours talking over the possibilities of what will happen during the meeting. I didn't think it was a trap. No, that Governor guy was too full of himself, he just wanted to meet his opponent and judge him and see its strengths and weaknesses. But I warned Rick that guys like him will lie and manipulate words to see how the other person will react.

So now we were driving through the side roads to the meeting point, some small abandoned factory. Daryl parked his bike behind one of the big metal containers, and I swang my leg over, standing on solid ground. I took the bow of my back and held it tightly in my arms. After Governor's attack, we didn't have a lot of ammo to spare, and even after Rick's run, we decided to not use our guns unless it was vital. So I was back to carrying my bow and quiver, just like in the early days. I still took my handgun, and my knives where hid under my plaid shirt.

Rick got out of the car and turned to Hershel, who sat behind the wheel, gesturing for him to stay alert. Three of us jogged around the big building until we came to a clearing that revealed another structure. Daryl led the way and paused for a second next to a dead walker that layed on the grass. The hunter bent down and touched the blood on its forehead, his eyes meeting mine and then Rick's.

"Fresh," Daryl whispered, and Rick nodded, pointing towards the other side of a building. The sheriff gestured for me to follow him, and I quickly obeyed, my bow high with an arrow notched in place.

Slowly we came to the door, and I walked in first, checking the corners for walkers and enemies. It was dark, the only light coming from the door and half-covered windows. Rick's footsteps echoed behind me, the only sound in the building. That is until I heard soft shuffling to my left and quickly spun in place, bringing the bow into a position, the fletching of my arrow brushing over my cheek. My shoulder was throbbing at the strain, but I pushed it aside, hoping to steal some painkillers from Hershel later once we back at the prison.

Rick cocked his revolver, and slowly we moved towards the sound until we came to the middle of the room. It looked like a small stage, with a table and two chairs waiting in the middle of it. Looks like the Governor prepared the place for our arrival. I stepped aside and let Rick climb the stairs, observing the room's dark corners, watching for any kind of movement.

There was a clanging noise of something being knocked over in the far corner, and silently I moved forward. When a tall, dark-haired man stepped from the shadows, my arrow was aimed at his head, my body itching to take his other eye out. My heart rate sped up when I noticed he was limping, a smirk slipping on my face.

The man's eye darted to me, and he looked me up and down, his glare stopping for a second on my bow. Then he faced Rick and rose his arms, showing us that his not armed. That didn't mean though that he didn't hide any weapons here before we came. Seemed like he was here for a while.

"Call the girl off. There's no need for violence." He had a deep voice, but the way he smiled sent cold shivers down my spine. I saw people like him before, unpredictable, calculated, and cunning.

My eyes darted to Rick, and when he slowly nodded, I lowered the bow, easing the stretch of a string. Governors smile widened, and he gazed at me again.

"If you don't mind, I wanted to talk with Rick alone," I huffed but moved towards the way I came from after Rick nodded again. I hated it, I felt like I should stay here. Rick had no clue what to look for when people were lying, not the way I did.

"And Elena?" I froze in my spot, glaring over my shoulder, my locks bouncing on my back with the movement. How did he know my name? Did Andrea tell him about us? If she did, he knew about us more than I anticipated. "How's the shoulder?"

My eyes lowered to his left leg, where I knew his wound was, and I grinned, my eyes staying cold. "Well. Surely better than your leg, Philip."

With that, I walked out, retracing our steps to get back to the car. I saw a familiar frame and paused, waiting for Daryl to catch up to me. He touched my face for a second, his eyes full of worry.

"Ya, OK?"

"Yeah, just really wanted to kill him," I grunted and started walking towards the vehicles. "He's dangerous. I don't think he'll kill Rick, but he wants something, and I doubt we will like it."

Daryl just hummed in reply, and when we got to Hershel, he quickly jumped on his bike, so we could move closer to where Rick was. I slipped onto the seat next to the Doc and clenched my jaw.

"He's already there, Rick stayed with him. They have a chat," I told Hershel when he started the car.

"Shouldn't you stay there with him?"

"Wanted to, but they kicked me out. I think Andrea told him about us. He knew my name."

Hershel parked the car behind Daryl's bike, and we all stepped out.

"Keep the car running, Hershel."

"I don't see any cars."

"Yeah," Daryl approached us and looked around. "Don't feel right."

That's precisely when a minivan came speeding towards us. Daryl rose his crossbow, and I did the same with my bow. A sound of loading a gun came from behind me, telling me that Hershel also was ready for whatever was going to happen. The vehicle stopped in front of us, and Andrea came out with two unknown guys.

One was Latino looking, with cargo pants and short haircut, looking like the military. The other had checked shirt and round glasses.

"What the hell?" Daryl asked, aiming at the Latino while I pointed at Andrea. "Why's yur boy already in there?"

Andrea gasped and glanced towards the building's doors, her face full of surprise, and so was her voice. "He's here?"

"Oh yeah. Cleared the walkers and sat down with Rick," I told her, and she huffed, her hands clenching. She looked over at Latino, who didn't seem shocked at all. Andrea strode towards the entrance, pushing at the sliding door, which made a loud noise.

With the woman gone, I lowered my bow and glanced at the two men who came with her. Latino leaned on the hood of a car, while the other guy took out a notepad and started writing something in it. Daryl was pacing between us, his eyes never leaving the military guy.

"Maybe I should go inside," Hershel finally stated in a calm voice. As much as I hated the old man putting himself in danger, he was probably the best person to pose as a mediator. He's calm and peaceful behavior could change the situation.

"The Governor thought it best if he and Rick spoke privately," The guy in the glasses answered, lifting his head. I snorted and cocked my eyebrows.

"But, his sex toy can be in there?"

"Elena!" Hershel scowled at my harshed words, but I just shrugged my shoulders. Not like I said anything that wasn't true.

"Who the hell are ya?" Daryl asked the man, squinting his eyes.

"Milton Mamet."

"Great." Daryl shifted, and his eyes met mine. He pointed towards the guy and smacked his lips. "He brought his butler."

I chuckled and nodded. I mean, the guy looked so out of place, he didn't even carry a gun or any type of weapon. The Latino man chuckled a little as well, but Milton ignored all of us.

"I'm his advisor."

"Well, Milton Mamet. What kind of advice do you give your Governor?" I asked him, not hiding the sarcasm.

"Planning, biters. Um, You know I'm sorry. I don't feel like I need to explain myself to the henchman." Oh, so he had some kind of spirit in him. I smirked at the comment, not bother at all, but Daryl next to me stiffened and growled lowly.

"Ya better watch yur mouth, sunshine."

"It's fine, Daryl," I said, putting my arm on his shoulder, the smirk not leaving my face. "He doesn't understand the definition. See, Milton. We aren't henchmen. Because we'd never agree with Rick if he was to gun down an unarmed group, just for their supplies. And none of us would stand silently when he'd try to rape a woman. And if he'd start collecting heads and body parts in his darkroom, I'd kill him myself."

Something like surprise and guilt flashed across Milton's face, but he quickly lowered his face and went back to his notebook.

"Look," The Latino man started, not moving an inch from his spot by the car. "If you and I are going to be out here pointing guns at each other all day, do me a favor redneck-- shut your woman up."

Daryl huffed, and I rolled my eyes when the hunter strolled forward, coming nearly nose to nose with the military guy.

"We don't need this," Hershel announced, trying to defuse the situation. "If it all goes south in there, we'll be at each other's throats soon enough. And when Rick's not here, Elena is our leader, so show her some respect, son."

The two men looked at each other, sizing and calculating what chances they have if the fight brakes through. Daryl finally scowled and stepped back, coming back to where I stood. I grabbed his wrist and led him towards our car and leaning on it.

It was some time later when Andrea stomped through the door, glaring at all of us. She sighed heavily and took a seat on some crates next to the wall of a building. Huh, I guess she wasn't as close to Philip as she assumed, otherwise she would still be there with them.

Latino moved from his spot and shut the door behind Andrea, so the men inside wouldn't get overheard by us. Daryl started pacing again, not good with keeping put and just waiting. I couldn't blame him really, I was also beginning to get restless and impatient. And I really wanted to know what Rick and Governor are talking about.

Milton finally came forward, his notepad in his hand, and he looked over our faces. "There's no reason not to use the time we have together to explore the issues ourselves."

I furrowed my brows at the man. He really was a weird fella.

"Boss said to sit tight and shut up," Latino spoke and looked at his companion with a warning look.

"Ain't ya mean the Governor?" Daryl mocked him, and I smirked.

"It's a good thing they're sitting down, especially after what happened. They gonna work it out. Nobody wants another battle." Wow, this guy really was dumb.

"I wouldn't exactly call it a battle," Daryl scoffed, and I nodded in agreement. Though technically a definition was fitting.

"I would call it a battle, and I did. I recorder it." At that, I couldn't stop my laugh, catching the attention of the men around me.

"That's great. I love history, Milton. Especially written by people who didn't participate. So tell me who won in your book. Who was victorious in our two encounters?" I asked him and tilted my head, my arms crossed in front of me with a bow next to me on a hood of a car.

"Well, we have more people than you and--"

"I didn't ask what your resources are. I'm asking if your history record is unbiased. Because by my calculations, we won. Both times, yet your Governor acts like he's the victor."

"You didn't win, Elena," Andrea chipped in, and I smiled wider.

"Didn't we? Daryl, what was the number of people we killed in Woodbury?" I could see Hershel flinched out of the corner of my eye, but I ignored him, turning my attention to the hunter.

"'Bout twelve," Daryl replied, not taking his eyes of the Latino, who tensed and clenched his jaw.

"Right. And we lost, nobody and get our people back. Now, let's see. You attacked us in our home, and you lost one person. I know, I snipped him myself, he was a shit shot. And once again, we didn't lose anybody." I glanced back at Milton, who shifted uncomfortably under my glare. "So make sure, Mamet, that you have your records straight. It doesn't matter how many people you got, or what kind of ammunition you possess. It's about what you're willing to do to protect people you love."

There was a moment of silence after my little speech before Hershel cleared his throat.

"It does make sense, though. To record it."

"Oh, I've got dozens of interviews--" Milton looked excited that Hershel took an interest in his notes, but before he could finish, there was growl coming out from the other side, just behind the water containers.

Instantly I was on my feet, bow in my hand raised, and reached out for the arrow, notching it in place. I rushed forward, hearing the soft footsteps of Daryl right beside me. Now, finally, something to do. Latino and Andrea followed us, and when we rounded the corner, I spotted two walkers. I released the string, sending an arrow to one of the geeks' heads, and I thought Daryl will take care of the other, but he lowered his weapon and made an inviting gesture at the other man.

"After ya." I rolled my eyes and sighed heavily. Right, two alpha males, establishing their dominance.

"No, no. You first." The Latino pointed his bat at the walker, and Andrea huffed, pushing by the men, tired of their actions. She rose her knife and grabbed the geek by its shirt, pushing it towards the metal wall. Taking a big swing, she plunged her blade in the corpse's head, and quickly pulled it out, ready to take care of another.

"Pussy," Latino commented, looking at Daryl, and he strode forward, swinging his bat at the next walker that made his way towards us. The strength of the impact splashed the geek's brain all over the wall and covering the man. He smirked at the hunter, and that seemed to be enough for Andrea. She shook her head and walked back to our cars, leaving us to deal with the dead. Daryl rose his crossbow and took out another walker that showed up without any effort while the Latino used his bat again.

I saw my chance when another two geeks rounded the corner.

"Out of the way," I pushed past the men and draped the bow over my head. I reached out for my knives and aiming quickly, I released both of them simultaneously. I grinned happily when my blades reached their targets, making walkers fall to the ground. The sweet feeling of adrenaline was pumping through my veins, but before I could dispatch the last one, a hand sneaked to my front and grabbed the third knife.

Only because I recognized the scent, I didn't do anything stupid. Seconds later, my throwing knife plunged into the walker's head, and I glanced to the side, looking up at Daryl, impressed.

"Well, Big Boy. That was hot," I said in a smoky voice and winked at Daryl, making him smirk a little.

I moved to collect our weapons, while Daryl was checking the bodies, to see if there's anything useful. I wiped my blades on the dress of a female walker and placed them in the reins. I grabbed hunter's bolts and passed them to him when he stood up, holding out a package of cigarettes.

"What is that?" I laughed when he showed it to me and quickly took one out and passed me the other. I promptly placed it between my lips and waited for Daryl to fish out his lighter. The hunter offered a smoke to Latino, but the man just shook his head.

"Nah, I'm for menthols."

"Pussy," I mocked him using his own words and leaned in when Daryl held out a flame. I inhaled deeply and exhaled a big puff of smoke, nicotine filling my body.

"Martinez," The man stated, finally introducing himself, and I nodded, acknowledging his words.

"Elena, and that's Daryl." I pointed at the hunter and then took another drag from the cigarette.

"Ya army or somethin'?" Daryl asked, but Martinez just shrugged, playing with his bat.

"Nah, I just-- I just hate these things. After what they did. Wife. Kids."

My face fell at Martinez's words, and I felt a pang of sympathy for him. No one deserves to lose kids in this world, especially to walkers. A memory of a blonde girl in dirty sneakers coming out of the barn flashed in my mind.

"Sorry for your loss," I told him quietly, and he sent me a sad smile.

"Andrea said you were a fed." He changed the subject, and I growled internally. Seemed like the blonde woman really rattled our life stories to those people.

"Yep," I answered shortly, focusing on my smoke, not willing to tell anything else to this man. Even though he seemed like a decent guy, he was Governor's man and, therefore, an enemy.

"You know this is a joke, right?" Martinez spoke again, glancing between Daryl and me. I chuckled and nodded while the hunter remained silent. We all knew it's just a rouse and won't solve anything. It was just an excuse to meet the enemy eye to eye, size each other up before going to the war's final stage. "They ain't gonna work anything out. Sure, they'll do their little dance, and tomorrow, next day, they'll get the word."

"I know," Daryl finally admitted, his face serious. Martinez gestured towards the hunter, and after a moment of searching, Daryl gave him one of the cigarettes. Maybe Milton was right, and we were just henchmen, ready to fight when our leaders tell us to. But there was a difference. If Governor would be genuine and leave us alone, so would we. Rick came up with a plan, splitting the adjacent area into two, so both groups would have their own territory, with a river as a border. But Philip wasn't that type of guy, and he will fight us, just because we stepped on his toe. Us, on the other hand, we will fight for our lives, for people we love, to protect what's ours.

When we came back, we were quickly let in through the gate by Carol and Carl. None of us spoke until we reached the common area. Rick crossed the room and walked inside the cellblock, gathering the attention of everyone who was inside. His face was stern, and when he grabbed the rifle from one of the cells, I knew there was no peace treaty between Woodbury and us.

"So, I met this Governor," Rick started, glancing around at the faces of his people. "Sat with him for quite a while."

"Just the two of ya?" Merle asked from the back of the room, his arms crossed, and his eyes observed sheriff's body language. Rick nodded in reply, and Merle scoffed, slowly walking away. "We should have gone when we had the chance." Those words were directed at Glenn and Michonne and made me scrunch my nose. What were they planning?

"He wants the prison," Rick continued, placing his hands on his hips. "He wants us gone. Dead. He wants us dead for what we did to Woodbury."

There was something in Rick's posture and in his words. I knew him long enough to know the signs. He wasn't exactly lying, but he wasn't telling the truth either, which confused me.

"We're going to war."

After that, Rick left the room, and we all looked at each other before slowly disappearing inside the cells. Daryl nodded at Merle, before climbing up the stairs, but the older Dixon didn't return the gesture. His face was set in stone, making it hard to ready.

Hershel moved forward, stopping next to me and gave me a curious look.

"What's wrong?"

"Rick lied," I replied quietly, making sure to not be overheard by the rest. The older man nodded as if he was suspecting that himself and urged me towards the exit. Together we crossed the prison and went outside to speak to Rick.


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I never have written anything like that in my life, and I am so excited for all of you to read it. Honestly, it was one of the most fun and complicated chapters so far. So please let me know what you think.
> 
> Cheers :)

**Day 301**

_"He gave me a choice. A way out."_

_"What does he want?"_

_"Michonne."_

_"He'll kill her."_

_"No. He will do much worse first."_

_"And then kill us anyway."_

I couldn't sleep that night, thinking over what Rick told Hershel and me. I knew what Rick was thinking, and even though he knew it's a wrong call, he was thinking about handing Katana to that psycho.

I gave him the other option. After Hershel left. But Rick didn't want to listen to it. I stormed off, not quite believing that he is willing to sacrifice one of us like that. Because yeah, Michonne is one of us now.

Lying down in Daryl's arms, I fought the urge to cry. The last thing I ever wanted was to lie to him, but I knew that he won't agree. But that was our best option, our best chance to change something. Maybe it was a wrong call, and perhaps tomorrow, my dead corpse will be lying in the grass next to the abandoned factory. But I had to do it.

And that's precisely why I was making plans. I sat down, careful to not wake up Daryl and slipped from the bed. I froze when the hunter stirred, but he seemed to go back to sleep after a few moments. I put my boots on and quietly left our cell, moving towards the common area. That's where Rick left the weapons and the ammo he brought back from his run.

The room was empty, except for Merle that was snoring softly in his cell. Not wasting any more time I reached for one of the duffel bags, and silently emptied it. I glanced over at the weapons that were in here and what thought of what would be the best choice. I packed the Uzi and two rifles alongside with the ammunition. The best option would be to take my MP5, but Daryl would notice that I'm gone quicker.

I glanced up, ensuring that Merle was still asleep, and when I saw he indeed was, my hands grabbed few cans of tear gas. My eyes sparkled when I noticed a small wooden chest, and I nearly squealed after opening it. I took a few small metal balls and carefully stashed them inside the duffel. I added few spare magazines form my Glock and S&W, planning on giving it to Merle. And finally, something that you got to have when you are busting bad guys.

With all that, I made my way towards the boiler room where I hid the weapons. Searching the small desk that was here, I found some decently clean sheet of paper and a pencil. I stared at the blank page, thinking how exactly to word what we were doing. Finally, making my mind, I pressed the pen to the paper and started to write.

_Daryl,_

_By the time you find this, Merle and I will be long gone. Giving Michonne over won't change anything. Governor would come for us anyway, and during the exchange, he'd probably kill whoever would bring her._

_But we're going to finish it or try to do as much damage as we can, so that prick knows that we're not giving anybody up._

_By now, you're probably pissed as fuck, and wonder what the hell I was thinking, but to be honest, the choice was simple. You know me better than anybody. I'd do anything to keep our people alive and give them a chance to see another day._

_I hope to come back before the sun goes down, and I'm ready for the hell you're going to give me. Just please don't be mad for too long, I never wanted to lie to you, that was actually the hardest part of all of this._

_And if we won't come back, I need you to know that I never cared for another person like I do for you. I won't mention the L-word, because you deserve to hear it in person, not in the letter. But I do. I never thought I'll feel like that, and yet you made it possible. That's why I have to do this, because I'd do anything for you, even die._

_I'll be careful, I promise. I Always am. And I'll see you, Daryl Dixon, if not soon, then in the afterlife._

_Yours, El._

Carol stared at me with a smug face when I asked her for help with the preparations. After all, I couldn't cook for shit, and I wanted this evening to be the best I could manage in the damn apocalypse. Finally, after a few snarky comments, the older woman agreed and proceeded with her daily choirs, ordering me to come back before the evening.

I was currently in the cafeteria, figuring that it would be the best place for the next part of my plan. I scavenged the kitchen and set up the corner table with a semi-fresh cloth and plates that I wiped. I placed a few candles in the middle, both for the romantic part and so we could see each other after the sun will go down.

The next part was physically harder, especially that I had to be careful to avoid the blood trails that were in the corridors. Slowly, taking a break every so often, I dragged the mattress from the nearest cell, which seemed to be in a decent condition. I even managed to find some clean sheets.

The last step, before actually luring Daryl in, was to wash up a bit. The nearest shower room was just a few turns from our cellblock, but of course, it didn't work. But Glenn and Oscar drove to the river this morning, bringing a few gallons of fresh water. The majority went straight to the common area to use for cooking and drinking, but I asked the men to put some aside in here.

After setting up the cafeteria, I walked into the shower room, my backpack over my shoulder with a fresh set of clothes, and some of the hygiene products that we had but didn't use for a long time. I pulled out two towels from the pack and looked around. It was one of the not many rooms that went untouched by the apocalypse. I mean, of course, there was dirt and dust, maybe even some mold, from not using it for nearly a year. But there were no signs of blood or guts.

Not wasting any more time, I reached for the bowl left here by Glenn and poured some water into it. I stripped off my clothes and folded them neatly, placing them next to my backpack. I used a rag to wash the dirt and blood off my body, and when the water turned brown, I poured it down the drain. I shivered at the cold air that hit my body, and goosebumps covered my skin. I refilled the bowl and used the rug and soap to help me shave.

I know, pointless in current times, but if there's even the smallest chance that this evening with Daryl will turn in the way I hoped, I wanted to look my best. Even if I was potentially going to die tomorrow.

Carol and Maggie sent me a knowing look when they came back inside the cellblock. The brown-haired woman winked at me and gave me thumbs up, letting me know that everything in the cafeteria was set up. I rolled my eyes at their behavior, how old are they? Five?

I crossed the cellblock and approached Oscar, who was vital to my plan.

"Hey."

"Hey, boss. What's up?" The black man asked me and glanced down at me. I brought my hand to my neck and sent him a smile.

"I got a favor to ask."

"Sure thing. Whatcha need?"

"Could you take the rest of Daryl's watch, please?"

Oscar met my eyes, and a shadow of a smile crossed his face. "No problem."

"Great." I patted his shoulder and started to head out. "Tell him to meet me in the cafeteria, please."

Waiting by the set table, I tapped my fingers on a cold surface. Maybe it was a stupid idea. I mean, the food looked delicious, a pot with pasta and another with the leftover meat from a doe Daryl caught while Rick was on the run. Carol mixed it with some canned vegetables, and it smelled heavenly. The long candles I secured in the middle of a table were lit up, casting gentle shadows on the floor and the wall. The mattress in the corner had fresh sheets and blanket, with two fluffy pillows lying on top.

An unsettling feeling spread from my gut, I promised Daryl that we will take it at his pace. And it was true, really. I was content with just being near him and falling asleep in his strong arms. But there was a possibility that I'm not going to come back tomorrow, and I really wanted to make our last evening special. Even if nothing will come out of tonight, I still just wanted to do something special.

I dropped the fork I was playing with when I heard the door slamming. I turned my face towards the entrance and saw Daryl standing there, looking unsure of himself. He glanced at the setting other women and I prepared, and he was chewing on his thumb. He wore his brown stained pants, there was a small hole above his right knee. Daryl had a dark blue shirt with cutoff sleeves, as per usual, exposing his arms and bulging muscles.

I slowly stood up, making the hunter turn his eyes to me.

"What's that, El?"

"Um, I--" I took a deep breath and clasped my hands together behind my back to hide that they were shaking. "Well, with Governor and all that, there's a chance that we'll die. And I wanted to spend a nice, quiet evening with you."

Daryl walked closer and peeked at the pots on the table, squinting his eyes.

"Tell me ya didn't cook it," His voice was severe, but there was a side-smirk on his face. Obviously, he knew that my culinary skills didn't exist. I shoved his shoulder playfully and narrowed my eyes at him.

"Of course not. If I wanted to kill you, I'd just stab you." Daryl laughed at my answer and sat down by the table.

"Smells good. Carol?"

"Yeah. She was more than happy to help me out."

I leaned over the table and placed pasta on Daryl's plate, followed by meat with the sauce. Then I put some on my own and took a seat in front of him.

The dim candlelight hid his handsome face, but I still could see how the hunter closed his eyes when he put the food in his mouth. I quickly did the same, and my tongue was hit with a mixture of flavors. I didn't know how Carol achieved that, but I would tell how great her food was.

"It's fucking great," I commented, swallowing and smiling at Daryl. He hummed in reply and focused on his food. I chuckled lowly. Yeah, Dixon rarely talked during eating, usually just stuffing his face, as if someone would take the food away from him every minute. That thought made me sad because there was a chance that it actually happened it his past. How often was he starving as a child, or did his father just punish him by taking away his meal?

"Sometimes, at the end of the case, when we flew back into DC, we would go to one of the team member's house. He was Italian and tried to teach us his techniques. Let's just say that after I tried cooking, we ordered a pizza and never mentioned it again." I spoke casually, smiling gently at the memory of my team. I was wondering what happened to them.

"I believe ya. I still remember when ya tried to cook that squirrel, back at the quarry when we went huntin'." Daryl laughed and shoved another portion into his mouth.

"Well, luckily, you saved the day, Big Boy."

"What we really doin' down here, El?" The hunter asked when his plate was empty, and he leaned back in his chair, watching me like a hawk. I sighed and put my cutlery down, my eyes matching his.

"I told you. I thought we deserve to have a bit of a break from others. We can't go hunting or on the run, because we don't know when this prick will attack."

"What if he does now?"

"I got this." I pointed at the other table where the walkie-talkie was placed, and he nodded. "Look, Daryl. If you don't want it, we can just go back, thank Carol for dinner and sit around with the rest."

"Nah, didn't say I wanna go back. Just wonderin'." I took a sip of my water and suddenly felt nervous. Dinner was over, and I noticed that he was glancing at the mattress on his right. Yeah, that was definitely a bad idea.

I sighed deeply and scowled myself for even thinking about setting this all up. I stood up and collected our plates, setting them aside, and covering the pots. I started to pack our things and tried to explain myself.

"I'm sorry. I thought it might be nice. I didn't mean anything by it," I knew I was rambling, my heart pounding in my chest, and I couldn't stop to feel slightly disappointed by hunter's reaction. "I mean, I wouldn't complain if something would happen, but that's not why I asked you to come here. I enjoy your company and our talks, and--" I spun around to get to my pack, but hard chest in my face stopped me in my tracks.

Daryl's hands went to my arms, steading me first and bringing me closer to his body.

"I told ya. I like it. And yeah, bein' away from others is nice sometimes." The hunter's gruff voice next to my ear made me shiver, and I stepped closer, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"I don't want to spook you, or push into a direction you don't want to go," I told him gently, my voice muffled by his shirt.

"I'm not a kid, woman," Daryl scoffed, and I chuckled. "I just don't wanna fuck up, El."

"Mm, and why do you think you would fuck up?" I asked him, glancing up, trying to read his eyes. His face was like an open book, full of insecurities, and he bit down on his bottom lip. I reached out and gently pressed my thumb to it, releasing it from between his teeth. "Don't. I told you it's hot."

"El, I don't know what to do," Daryl whispered, furrowing his brows. "Ya ain't a quick fuck. Ya more than that."

My heart fluttered at that confession, and I smiled gently at the hunter, moving my hand towards his scruffy cheek.

"I hope I'm not. And neither are you. I can show you, Daryl," I stated, staring in his deep blue eyes. "What I like and whatnot. And I hope you would do the same for me."

"I'm a guy, El." We both laughed, and I shook my head at his answer. Right, yes, he is a full-blooded man.

"That you are, Big Boy." Making a split-second decision, I stood on my tiptoes and pressed my lips gently to Daryl's. I circled my arm around his neck, pulling him down a bit and moaned with pleasure when he returned the kiss.

Daryl deepened the kiss, and I sneaked my tongue inside his mouth, slowly massaging his, twisting and sucking on the bottom of his lip. The hunter's arms went to my hips, pressing me tighter to his body, where I could feel his semi-hard cock. I pulled gently on his hair, making Daryl groan into the kiss.

I pulled away and looked deeply into his dilated eyes. We were panting, catching our breath, and I could see the vein on his neck pulsing faster than usual.

"We can stop," I told him softly, and his eyes grew darker before he answered.

"Nah. We ain't stopping." I yelped in surprise when he leaned in and placed his big hands under my ass cheeks, lifting me up without an issue. Automatically I circled my legs around his waist, crossing my ankles and holding tighter to his neck. Daryl smirked and cocked his brows at me. I kissed him again, hard and closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of his warm lips on mine.

I didn't even realize we were moving until my back hit the soft blanket. Daryl's firm body pressed down onto mine, and I felt the warm feeling spreading through my whole body, mainly in my core. I moved my hands to his back, slowly caressing it.

Daryl's musky scent filled my nose, and I bet that my knees would buckle under me if I would still be standing. His calloused palms ventured up to my thighs and sneaked under my top, gently caressing my stomach's scarred skin. He didn't flinch or pull away, and that made me kiss him harder. Pressing my lips tightly to his, fighting with his tongue for dominance.

The hunter pulled away and leaned back, kneeling down. I sat up and not losing eye contact I tugged at his vest, slowly taking it off his broad shoulders. I could see the insecurities return to his face, and I knew he was thinking about the scars on his back. Patiently, one after the other, I undid the buttons of Daryl's shirt. He was frozen under my touch. Even though my whole body itched to glance down at his naked body, I kept my orbs on his face. I knew it was necessary, and I wasn't about to screw this up.

When I popped the last button, I traced my fingers up his muscular belly, through his pecs towards his collar bone. The hair on his chest was soft and tickled my palm lightly. Daryl tensed up when I pushed down the fabric, completely exposing his chest. I smiled widely at him and then took off my own top, hiding my own fear deep down.

"We all have scars. But you don't have to hide them from me, ever," My voice was husky and a little shaky. I was actually scared that Daryl will change his mind right now, and I'm not sure if I would be able to handle it. Daryl's eyes traced down to my lips, and down to the curve of my breasts covered by black lace. Little something I found during winter and even back then hoped to find myself in this situation.

The man lifted his arms, and gently pushed me down to the mattress, making my stomach flip, excitement filling my body once again. Daryl's eyes were roaming up and down my naked skin.

"Beautiful," I shivered at the sound of his husky voice. When he finally leaned in, and his hands touched me, I couldn't stop a soft moan escaping my lips. And then finally, finally, his palm capped my lace-covered breasts. He caressed them gently and traced the fabric to the sides, sneaking his hands to my back. I chuckled lightly when Daryl huffed at the clasp, that just wouldn't cooperate, and arched my spine, to give him better access. He used that opportunity and yanked at the buckle, making it snap.

"I liked that bra," I breathed out, but he just pushed the straps down my arms, freeing my chest of the fabric.

"I'll get ya new one," Daryl answered, and suddenly his lips were on mine again, kissing me deeply and pushing his tongue inside my mouth. He quickly pulled away and traced wet kisses down my neck, gently sucking and biting the tender skin behind my ear.

There was something in the thought of him leaving a love bite on me, making me smile widely and moan louder. He was marking me, for everyone to see, and he wasn't the type of guy to show others how he feels. But that? That was proof of his affections, and it made my heart skip the beat for a moment.

I buckled my hips up, as the heat between my legs started to rise. I was positive that my panties were soaked, and I just wanted to feel him everywhere. On my skin, inside me, everywhere.

Daryl's lips went down, and I cried out in pleasure when they latched onto my erect nipple. The feeling of his warm mouth over my swollen peak nearly pushed me over the edge. I traced my hands down, feeling his tight muscles on his back. He tensed for a second, but then it seemed like my previous words got to him, and he started sucking on my nipple with new vigor.

I brought my hands down between us and struggled with his belt buckle, pulling at it until it gave in. Slowly I popped his buttons and unzipped his fly. Daryl lifted his head and furrowed his brows at my impatience.

"Please, Daryl." I moaned, pushing at the harsh fabric of his jeans. "I need to feel you now."

I didn't know it's possible, but his eyes went even darker. Daryl pushed himself off me, kicked his boots off, and then quickly pulled down his pants. Fuck, he didn't wear underwear. I gasped when his hard dick sprang out, standing straight, proudly. I pushed down my pants and panties, throwing them to the side.

A growl erupted deep in Daryl's throat, and I stretched out my hand, inviting him to join me again on a mattress. That was all he needed; seconds later, his firm body was pressed against mine lying, propped on his forearms, above me. Very slowly, Daryl leaned in and pressed his lips gently to mine. It was different than before, more sensual, and I felt it deep in my soul. Slow and deep kisses, with our tounges entangled together. I moaned lowly in his mouth, and the hunter pulled away. His lips slid down onto my neck, leaving wet traced down to my collarbone, and I cried out in pleasure when he touched my breast. Daryl's hand was kneading my right nipple while his mouth was playing with the other one.

Goodness, when was the last time I felt like that? Did I ever before? This beautiful man was stirring those deep emotions in me, something I thought I will never get to experience. And not just because his hands were on my body, sending shivers down my spine, or because his lips were working wonders. But because he was himself, blunt, self-conscious, brave, carrying man. And now Daryl was showing me that he needed me as much as I needed him.

A breath hitched in my throat at the realization of how much he changed in my life and broke the walls that I build around myself.

"Daryl," I gasped, and he lifted his face from my chest. He was so handsome, his eyes were dark and shining with lust. His scruff was ruff against my skin, but it just made me giddier, and his hot skin on mine felt wonderful. I reached out and pulled him up by his shoulders, his strong, firm body hovering over me once more.

"Ya sure about it, El?" His voice was husky and strained when he looked me deep in the eyes. "I wanna make ya feel good."

"Daryl. Please. I need you now, we can explore later." I thrust my hips up, trying to get some friction between my legs. I could feel Daryl's cock at my entrance, and I glanced up at his face, hoping that he can see how much I need him. Daryl reached down between us, and I shivered when the head of his dick teased my clit. He grunted and finally buckled his hips, slipping inside me. I moaned loudly, throwing my head back, and he wasn't even entirely in. Daryl pulled out and, in one swift motion, slammed right back into me.

I cried out and clenched around his dick, and the hunter froze. "Ya alright?"

"Ye-- yes. Just, it was a long time, and you're not exactly small," I stammered, tangling my hand in his hair, pulling him down for a kiss. It was slow and deep, sparking a new fire in my body, especially that Daryl wasn't holding back anymore. He wanted me as much as I wanted him, and he wasn't hiding it.

I pushed my hips up gently, letting him know that I was ready. Daryl didn't need any other invitation, he rocked slowly, pulling away to slap his hips back. His right hand traced down, and his fingers dug down in the flesh of my thigh.

I could feel his back muscles twitching, tensing with every push. And he made those small pants and groans, setting my body on fire. I met Daryl's thrusts with my own, he shifted his hips, gaining a new angle, and I screamed when he hit that sensitive spot inside me.

"El, I'm not gonna--" Daryl's voice was hoarse and made me moan again, running a hand down his spine, to the delicious curve of his ass.

"Me neither. Oh--" Daryl covered my mouth with his lips again, and his pace quickened, becoming more sloppy. His pelvis was hitting mine, and pubic hair was rubbing against my clit. I matched his speed as well as I could, throwing my hips up and down, Daryl's cock hitting me just right. I pulled my lips away and moved them to his collarbone and shoulder, while the hunter buried his face in my neck.

Daryl bit gently over my pulsing vein and slammed inside me again, the tight knot inside me exploding. My walls clenched around his thick cock, and my body shook, I cried out his name, orgasm washing over me. That was enough for Daryl to reach his own peak, and I felt him freeze, his dick pulsing and twitching while he spilled inside me. My hips moved few more times, letting us ride out our orgasms.

Daryl pushed away from me, lying down on his side and pulled me tightly to his body. His chest was glistering from swearing, and we were both panting. I was grinning like an idiot, but at the moment I didn't give a shit.

"Wow," I managed to say after a few minutes, facing the man beside me. He was chewing on his bottom lip, and his eyes were closed. My smile flattened, and I brought my fingers to Daryl's scruffy cheek.

"I'm sorry," He finally grunted, opening his eyes.

"Oh, Big Boy," I smiled again and shifted, pushing him on his back and making myself comfortable on his chest. "That was just beginning. We have all night."

I leaned down and kissed him slowly, running my hands over his firm chest. I knew he was gorgeous, but seeing him up close, without any clothes on, it made me instantly hot just looking at him. He was powerful in every way, Daryl's muscles were hard, from hunting and all other physical work he used to do. His nipples were something that made me really interested, I never realized that men can be as sensitive in this area as women. I licked my lips and lowered my head down, gently tracing his pink peek with my mouth.

"Elena," Daryl growled, and his chest rose up and down fast, under the palm of my hand. I grinned and used the tip of my tongue to tease the erect nipple, just a little bit. Tracing my lips over his chest down to his stomach, running my fingers over Daryl's hair. God, I wanted to do it for so long, and I was here, now, all his body on display.

"What ya doin'?" Daryl's accent was thicker, and when I glanced up through my heavy lids. He looked down at me, his breathing heavy, and the spark in his eyes made me moan lowly.

"I'm gonna make you feel good," I told him and run my hand down to his thigh, feeling his muscles twitch under my touch.

"Fuck, woman. I ain't eighteen anymore." I grinned at the man underneath me and slowly traced my eyes down. The soft trail of hair covering his chest and belly was growing thicker, and it was darker between his legs. And there he was, not as impressive anymore, but still resembling the hard shaft that was plunging into me, just minutes again.

"Mm, could've fooled me, Big Guy. Don't worry, he will be up and about in a second," I told him and licked my lips suggestively, making Daryl growl, and that made me more confident. I shifted lower, 'accidentally' brushing my breast over the hunter's cock, pulling another moan from his mouth. I smirked and watched his cock slowly rise, making the heat between my legs return.

I reached out and gently brushed my fingertips across the soft skin of his hardening shaft. Daryl's hips bucked up, and I giggled softly, looking up at his face. He was watching me, his blue eyes dark and hooded, while his chest was rising quickly. If simple touch could make him react like that, what will he do when I will lower my lips and lick him? Not waiting for my imagination, I lowered my head and gripped his length firmly in my hand, pumping it slowly up and down. And when my mouth wrapped around his head, pulling down his foreskin.

Daryl sucked in breath harshly, and his hips went up again. "Fuck, El!"

"Do you want me to stop?" I asked him innocently and traced the flat of my tongue down to his balls, sucking on them gently.

"Fuck, no." Daryl closed his eyes, and his fingers tangled in my blonde curls, and I hummed in appreciation, taking him in my mouth. His cock was back to its glory, standing hard and proud. I could taste our mixed liquids, and that just made me want him more. Some women don't do that kind of thing or give a head only from the obligation. And then there were those that actually enjoyed it, and I was definitely part of that last group.

Seeing, feeling, and hearing a man like Daryl tremble under me, the feeling of power it gave me over him was thrilling. And so I gave him all I could, bobbing my head up and down, relaxing my throat to take as much of him as possible. Licking and twisting my tongue over the veins of his hard and pulsing cock. My moans were muffled by Daryl's member when he pulled harder on my hair.

"El, stop," The hunter growled, and I lifted my face, starting to feel a bit embarrassed. Was it not good for him?

"I'm sorry, I thought you'd like it," I whispered, sitting on my feet and averting my eyes from him.

"Fuck, woman!" I felt the mattress move, and I felt Daryl's hands on my shoulders. He pulled me on to him and crashed his lips onto mine. Throwing my arms around his neck, I enjoyed this new, dominating Daryl. His hands roamed over my back, grabbed my ass, and squeezed it harshly, making me yelp in his mouth. He pulled away and looked me deep in the eyes.

"I fuckin' loved it. But I ain't wanna cum in yur mouth," Daryl's voice was husky, and it stirred the heat deep in my belly. "And I wanna make ya feel good too. But I never done it."

Now he looked away, a blush covering his face and neck, making me smile gently. I shifted in my spot and moved away from Daryl, laying down on my back. He wanted me, there was definite evidence between his legs and how he was looking over my body, the heat, and lust in his bright eyes. I stretched my hand towards the man in front of me and smiled broadly at him.

"Just do what feels right. If I don't like it, I'll tell you," I said softly, and that was enough for him to regain some of his confidence. And oh boy, confident Daryl is the most sensual thing I ever saw. Or felt. And felt I did. With his lips tracing over my neck and down, sucking on my collarbone. Man's big hands cupped my breasts, and his thumbs played with my nipples, making me arch my back, trying to bring my chest closer to him.

And when his mouth latched onto my erect peek, I moaned long and lowly, buckling my hips, needing to relieve some tension that was building up in between my legs. Tracing my own hands over Daryl's back and hard muscles, I cried out when his hand sneaked lower, slowly, teasingly tracing his finger over my clit.

"Oh, God!" I heard him chuckle, and his lips traced down, twisting his tongue over and around my belly button, gently caressing the scars that covered my lower abdomen. I flinched when he touched it and kissed it for the first time, but he was doing it softly, lovingly, while rubbing over my clit and lips at the same time. And I cried out again when his finger slipped into me. I was a bit sore, but feeling his big fingers inside me, his lips all over my body. I felt like I was cruising on a cloud: Daryl's scent surrounding me, that musky, manly one with a combination of forest and rain.

God, I loved this man, everything about him. From his shaggy and scruffy looks to his caring and stubborn nature. And now he was between my legs, naked as God created him, and it was fucking fantastic view. A low growl erupted from my throat when Daryl's lips joined his fingers. He sucked gently on my nub while his fingers were pumping in and out of my entrance. I couldn't stop myself and buckled my hips, trying to feel his mouth more on me, his scruff, his tongue.

Daryl groaned in my core, vibration from it sending sparks all over my body. He flicked his tongue up and down, and his free hand snaked around my leg, pulling it over his broad shoulder, while his hand layed flat on my stomach, pinning me down in place. The shivers were running down my spine, and a knot started forming low in my groin. I knew that I won't be able to hold on for much longer, not with how Daryl's fingers were pumping in and out and how his mouth was all over my most sensitive spot.

"Daryl! Please," My body trashed under Daryl, and my eyes rolled back while all my body spasmed with ecstasy. I was barely registering moans coming out of me, and hunter's firm grip on my hip. The orgasm hit me high and hard, and before I could react, Daryl was there, right above me with his arms propped by my sides. He rolled his hips, and suddenly he was buried in me to the hilt.

"Fuck, ya're so tight," Daryl whispered, and I clutched tightly to his shoulders, my lips finding his. Everything after that seemed like covered behind the vail. His hard and fast thrust, both hands tangled in my hair. My nails digging into the skin of his back while I tried to match his pace. I was thirsty for that man, I needed to feel him everywhere, and he was filling me so well.

And when his second high hit, I was right there with him, clenching tightly around Daryl's twitching cock. Our lips connected together, sipping moans out of each other. Sweat was covering both of our bodies, and when I finally pried my eyes open, I realized how late it was. The only light that was in the room was coming out of the candles spread on tables.

Laying down in Daryl's arms with a satisfied grin all over my face, I wasn't thinking about tomorrow. The thoughts of Governor and war with him were long forgotten. There was just here and now, the feel of hot skin on skin and the fast heart beating under my palm. It was just Daryl and me, and for the next few hours, nothing could pop our bubble.


	47. Chapter 47

**Day 302**

It was the middle of April, and even though the sun was shining on our faces when we stood outside, the air still was chilly. I wrapped my plaid shirt tighter around myself and shifted on my legs, wondering why Rick called us all here. By all, I mean, Hershel, Daryl and myself. I suspected it had something to do with our conversation earlier, and I could only assume that we were away from others, because he made a decision. Wrong one. Again.

I wasn't mistaken. In short words, Rick told us what the Governor offered him, and he thought it through.

"It's the only way." I pressed my lips in tight line after sheriff's words, fighting the urge to argue with him. There was no point in doing it now. He was adamant, and I was already on the wrong terms with him. Plus, I had a plan and wasn't going to change my mind. "No one else knows."

"Ya gonna tell them?" Daryl asked, and I saw how he was chewing on his lips. I couldn't look at him for too long, so I averted my eyes to the ground. Memories of last night, and this morning, were still fresh in my mind. A shiver ran down my body, and it wasn't because of the cold air that was around us, messing my hair.

"Not until after. We have to do it today. It has to be quiet," Rick stated, not even an ounce of doubt in his voice, which made me angry.

"Ya got a plan?"

"We tell her we need to talk, away from the others."

I sighed heavily and caught Daryl's eyes, already boring into mine. I could see in his face that he was in two minds about it. Sacrificing someone to the guy like Governor wasn't something the hunter would do, but he trusted Rick and wasn't going to argue with him about that.

"It just ain't us, man."

"No, no, it isn't," Hershel added and grabbed his crouches, slowly making his way back to the prison, leaving just three of us.

"Rick, he will come for us either way," I spoke softly, trying for one last time to get through to the sheriff, but he just shook his head.

"You don't know that. We might avoid a fight. No one else dies," Rick retorted, and Daryl nodded his head hesitantly, holding the strap of his crossbow tighter.

"Got it."

"We need someone else."

"I'll talk to him."

"I'll do it."

"I'll go with ya."

"No." Rick shook his head and looked down at me. Maybe he was surprised I didn't put up more fight, but at this point, I didn't care about that. "No, just me."

Daryl and I glanced after Rick, staying silent for a moment. He circled his arm around me and pulled me close to his chest. I buried my face in his vest, wondering if this will be the last time I can enjoy his scent and muscular body.

"Ya alright, El?"

"Gotta be."

Daryl snorted and placed a small kiss on top of my head, making me tingle. I rose my face and stood on my tiptoes. The man met me halfway, our lips meeting in a slow, sweet kiss. Maybe the last one.

I had my backpack with me, where I hid some water and protein bars, just in case we would get stuck somewhere. I walked into the boiler room just on time, though it was all calculated. Just minutes ago, I saw Merle speaking to Michonne in our cell block, asking her for help with walkers.

Merle froze when he heard my footsteps. He just finished tying Michonne's hands and placed a pillowcase over her head. I rose my eyebrows at that and huffed.

"We're not doing this." I strode over to the cabinet I hid my weapons the day before and pulled the duffel out. Unzipping it quickly, I reached for one of the vests and threw it the man.

"The fuck ya doin', Doll?"

"Leave her here, Merle. We're going there without her," I stated calmly and motioned for him to put the thing on.

"Why ya doin' it, Doll?" I watched how he put the vest over his head and stood up. I reached out and adjusted the velcro on Merle's sides, ensuring that it's secure and tight enough.

"He'll kill us even if we give him Michonne," I finally answered and took off my jacket and got into my own vest quickly and with experience.

"So ya gonna just go and kill yurself now?" Merle teased, and I cocked my eyebrows at him.

"No, Hook. The plan is to kill him or get rid of as many of his people as we can." I shrugged the jacket back on, and Merle put on a button-up shirt, quickly dealing with buttons. Picking up a duffel, I pulled it over my shoulder and took out a letter I wrote for Daryl. Clenching my jaw at the sudden feeling of self-doubt, I left it next to Katana, hoping that he will find it.

"And if we die?"

"Then we'll die, Merle. But that's why we have vests. And if we do enough damage and it'll get too dangerous, we bolt."

"Ya and me, Dollface. We ain't that different."

I glanced at Merle's cold blue eyes and nodded sharply.

"Never said we are. We just do it for different reasons. Come on, let's move out."

I pulled out my machete and led the way to the gym. Out in the back, through the administrative side of the building, that's our way out, without being noticed.

The meeting point wasn't that far away, but we had to get to the nearest town and get a car. We walked for about half an hour before we spotted a shop with abandoned vehicles all over the street.

"You know how to hotwire a car, right?" I asked older Dixon and scanned the area for any walkers.

"Sure thing. I'm surprised ya don't." I smacked my lips and sent him a scowl, which just made him laugh. I followed Merle when he made his way towards one of the vehicles. It looked less trashed and in a better condition than the others. But it also could mean that it had no gas, and that's why it was ditched.

Merle stopped by the side of the car and opened the latch to the fuel tank. He inhaled deeply and nodded in approval before getting onto the front seat. I let him do the manual work while I stood on the walker watch. It was like I would summon them with the power of my mind. A small group of walkers, less than a dozen rounded the corner.

"Hurry up, Dixon. We got company," I announced and jogged forward, kicking the first one in the chest, making it stumble backward onto the other geeks. Not losing my memento, I spun to the left, slashing the head of the nearest corpse. It used to be a guy, dressed in now dusty suit and white shirt that was stained with blood. One.

I grabbed the machete with both hands and giving out a small grunt I stabbed the next one that was coming at me from my right. Two.

I stepped back, noticing that more and more walkers were coming out from the side streets. Fuck. Slowly I started back for the car, I grabbed the geek that tried to get me from behind and pushed it to the ground. I plunged my blade in its head and ran for a car, chased by hungry growls and snarls.

"Merle! There's too many. We need to fucking move!" I yelled at the older Dixon and saw him sit down just when the loud hum of a car engine echoed through the air. Oh, thank God.

I quickly circled the car and yanked the passenger's doors open, sliding onto the seat. I slammed the door behind me and heard Merle doing the same. He cracked the window slightly and turned on the radio, pressing the CD button. Immediately we were hit with loud notes of guitar and drums. I scrunched my face and sent a questioning look towards Merle.

"The fuck you doing?"

"We gonna lure those fuckers in, let them get Governor's people."

We ditched the car when we reached the backside of the warehouse. I turned the music all the way up, and we left the windows open, making sure that walkers can still hear it. I followed Merle to the main building, my Uzi ready to shoot, but the path was clear.

We heard them before my eyes could see. Merle yanked my arm and pulled me towards one of the windows. I bent down and quickly unzipped my back, passing one of the rifles to the man next to me. I checked my Uzi and propped the other gun against the wall.

That's when the loud rock music started echoing through the air, and there were yells, and orders shouted. The fact that there were so many of Governor's people, and they were there before scheduled time confirmed my suspicions. He was never going to let go whoever would be delivering Michonne.

"We need to act quick," I whispered through clenched teeth, fear finally filling my body. It was now or never.

"Five of them still there, two went to check the noise," Merle announced, and I breathed in deeply. I took out two flash banks and a grenade from the duffel, twisting to face the wall.

"Where?"

"Eleven o'clock, 'bout eight yards away."

Not waiting any longer I pulled the pin from the flashbang and quickly stood up, throwing it, according to Merle's directions. As soon as it was out of my hand, I ducked, to not be spotted.

After that, it was chaos, sounds seemed to be muffled by the blood pumping through my body. As soon as the sound bomb hit the ground, there was a loud bang, and the men outside started screaming and panicking. I removed the safety pin from the actual grenade and once again chucked it in their direction.

"Get down!" Both Merle and I got to the floor, covering our ears and heads. It took just a few seconds for the explosion to happen, loose rocks and dirt hitting the wall of a building we were in. The screams changed onto those of pain. I crouched by the window pressing my Uzi to the window seal and peeked out to see the damage that I made, Merle doing the same by the other window.

Four guys were lying on the ground, but I could see only one that was still moving. Quickly looking down the scope, I squeezed the trigger and bullets finished him off. That's when everything happened at once. Two people came from the corner of the other building, and I shot at them without hesitation. Merle was shooting as well, at walkers that started to fill the open space outside, alongside trying to get the newcomers. The first one, a medium-high and build, instantly went down to the ground, but the other managed to hide behind the metal wall.

I cursed under my nose and was ready to shout to Merle to get out of here, when someone pushed me to the ground, knocking down my Uzi. A hard fist landed on my face, and I cried out in surprise and pain. My eyes watered, and I couldn't focus on the sight in front of me. Instinctively I swang my clenched hand at the intruder and pushed my knees up. I hit my target, who happened to be Governor himself, but he was stronger than I anticipated. He pinned me down and sent another hit to my face.

I lifted my head and hit him straight in the nose, grinning when I heard a familiar crack of bones. Governer cried out in pain and growled in my face.

"I'm gonna kill you, bitch!" The man spat at me, but at that moment, Dixon came to my rescue. With a feral scream, he lounged at the Governor and pushed him off me. There was a yell of pain, and I was sure that it didn't come from Merle.

I sprung to my feet and run for the rifle that was propped by the wall, gripping it tightly. I could hear the struggle behind me, and suddenly there was a sound of a gun fired. My heart leaped in my throat, and I spun around. Merle was sprawled on the ground, face down, and the Governor's face was twisted in a fury. Before I could react, two rounds were fired in my direction, and I stumbled to the ground. The air was knocked out of my lungs, and everything around me was fuzzy.

"Boss, we gotta go!" As through the fog, I could hear another voice, one I recognized as Martinez. "You wanna me to finish them?"

"No, let them turn. Rick will see what happens to the ones that cross me."

After that, the footsteps slowly disappeared, the only sound was my pacing heart and growls coming from outside, where walkers feasted on the dead soldiers. I cracked my eyes open and made sure that, in fact, Governor left before I turned to my side and got onto my knees.

"Fuck," My voice was hoarse, and the right side of my face throbbed with pain. Though it wasn't as bad as my chest. Merle! My eyes darted around the room, to the figure still lying on the floor, unmoving. I crawled to the man and, with some difficulties, turned him onto his back. Not wasting time, I ripped his shirt open and closed my eyes. A sigh of relief escaped my lips, the bullet was caught by the vest, but will probably leave a nasty bruise. I shook his arm and gently slapped his face.

"Merle! Fucking get up. We need to go!"

His eyes twitched, and he groaned in pain. Merle looked at me from under his eyelashes and sighed.

"Is that how ya wakin' up my brother?" He couldn't feel that bad if he had time to joke around.

"Come on." I stood up and reached out, helping Merle to his feet.

"What? No, thank you?" He had trouble breathing, and I started to wonder if he doesn't have broken ribs.

"I would've handled it. Anything broken?"

"Nah, Doll. Just a bruise. Will be all good in a few days."

I hummed in reply and quickly gathered our weapons. Merle was holding tightly onto his rifle while I still had the Uzi.

"Good, let's clean up."

**3rd person POV**

He ran through the woods as if the trees were set on fire. They weren't, of course, but that didn't stop the broad man from running as fast as possible. Motivated by fear and anger, he didn't feel the muscle pain, didn't care that his heart was beating too fast. No, this shaggy, brown-haired man was on a mission, and forbid that anyone would stop him.

Rick did. Tried to stop him, that is. Right after, he confessed that he couldn't find Elena and Merle. Daryl scoffed at the memory of sheriff.

_"It's off. We'll take our chances," Rick stated when he approached the hunter on the courtyard._

_"I'm not sayin' it was the wrong call. But this is definitely the right one," Daryl told him, but inside he was relieved that Rick didn't choose to sacrifice the black woman. She was a valuable and skilled fighter. Losing her wouldn't be good for the group. Not mentioning that the hunter was worried about how it would affect Rick. The sheriff was already slightly unstable and not himself._

_"What's wrong?" Daryl added when he noticed that Rick was panting and glancing around like he was searching for something._

_Rick sighed heavily and avoided looking directly at the man beside him. "I can't find Merle and Michonne. And I haven't seen Elena."_

_"She said she gonna help Carol with the baby."_

_"I checked inside. She's not there. None of them are."_

_Daryl furrowed his brows, and his heart started beating a little faster, fear of what happened to the blonde woman flooding over him._

_"Governor wanted Michonne. You know that. But when I told Elena, right after we came back from the meeting, she told me it's stupid plan." Rick added and run a hand over his hair._

_"Wait, she knew before?" Daryl felt anger rising in his body. Out of all the people he thought he could trust her, they never lied to each other, and yet, she hid the fact that she knew the plan way before him. But anger wasn't the main feeling. If she knew and didn't tell him, she had to get her reasons, which worried him even more._

_"She tried to talk me out of it. Said that Governor won't kill Michonne. Not straight away anyway. And that he'd attack us anyway."_

_"Man, we all told ya that. Get to the point."_

_"Elena thought it's our chance to take him and his soldiers out. Said that townfolks probably won't be there, as he'd be breaking the deal, and he doesn't want to look like a bad guy in their eyes."_

_Daryl started chewing on his bottom lip, anxiety, and fear for the woman he cared deeply about, rising with every word sheriff said. "And?"_

_"And nothing. I told her no. But now they're gone."_

_"Come on," Daryl jogged back inside the prison, Rick hot on his heel._

_When the men arrived deep withing tombs, the boiler room seemed empty. Daryl quickly scanned the room, and his eyes landed on a body lying on the ground. Rick promptly got to Michonne's side, and she groaned and twitched when he pulled off the rug from her head. She was quickly gaining consciousness, but that wasn't what got Daryl's attention. There was a note, placed carefully on her chest, and he reached for it, surprised when he read his name on it._

_With each word he read, he was growing more and more on edge. She planned everything, crazy woman. After a short confrontation with Rick, Daryl left the prison, alone, trying to find his stubborn woman and his idiot brother._

And so Daryl ran, for what seemed like hours, imaging all the worst scenarios at once. Cold sweat was dripping down his spine, making his shirt wet and clinging to his body. The hunter only slowed down when he came near the buildings where the meeting supposed to happen.

He silently crept between the metal walls and canisters, finally reaching the clearing. Daryl held his crossbow tightly, peeking from behind the wall. His heart dropped when his eyes scanned the area and noticed a familiar figure kneeling by one of the bodies that were scattered on the ground. Some of the grass in front of him was burned, and so were the corpses, making him sweat more. But it was Merle, crouched in the dirt that made him gasp, and Daryl could feel tears starting to form in his eyes.

When was the last time I cried? The hunter wondered, his mind not able to focus on anything particular.

They didn't make it. Where was Elena? Will he find her burned body, or was she a walker?

Daryl silently stepped from the corner, his crossbow aimed at the back of his brother's head, and few salty drops rolled down his cheek. Breathing became more laborious as his heart clenched with anger, fear, and utter sorrow. This isn't supposed to end like this. Daryl was ready to circle around, to see with his own eyes Merle's turned face when a twig snapped on the left. He froze and shifted his aim, nearly dropping down his weapon.

"I think I got all I could, what about--" Elena gasped, not finishing her sentence and stared with round eyes at the hunter. Her face was dirty, and there was a huge bruise forming on her jaw, but it was her eyes that always captured him. Those grey, cloudy orbs, that Daryl always found intriguing, they were very much alive. Her jacket was opened, a bulletproof vest under it still wrapped around her torso, and Daryl saw two holes in the middle of it, near her heart.

She stood there as beautiful as ever, her messy bunch of curls bouncing in the wind. His, Elena was his, and he was going to give her hell for the stunt she just pulled.

He didn't even realize that he dropped his precious weapon and started running. All that mattered was her and the fact that she was alive.

**Elena's POV**

Merle and I were scavenging the cars that Governor left and the bodies of his people. After dealing with walkers, in a loud and quick manner, with our guns, we got to the search. My duffel was full and heavy with anything useful I could find. Three extra rifles and some spare ammo, and I even managed to find a first aid kit. Happy with my findings, I walked back to where Merle was, checking what wasn't damaged in the explosion. I came to the clearing shouting at the man.

"I think I got all I could. What about--" I stopped talking the second I noticed Daryl. He was slowly creeping towards his brother, aiming at the back of his head. Oh, God. He must've thought we were dead, turned. But he froze as well, once noticed me. I must've been quite the sight, with a bruised face, blood and guts from walkers all over me, and a bulletproof vest.

I remained still, unsure of what to do or say. My stupid mind was telling me to say something sarcastic like nothing happened, but I knew better. I didn't know what to expect, and how pissed Daryl was and antagonizing him wouldn't be the best idea right now.

But then his crossbow was forgotten on the ground, and he was running straight at me, with an expression I haven't seen before. My heart fluttered, and I crossed the remaining distance in a few quick strands. When Daryl was close enough, I jumped up, and suddenly everything was fine.

My legs were wrapped around his waist, and I held to his broad shoulders like my life depended on it. And when the hunter buried his face in my hair, with one hand on my neck and the other holding my ass, I finally broked down. I sobbed silently in his shoulder, all pain, fear, and shame combined in the tears that rolled down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry," I repeatedly said, especially when I felt Daryl's body trembling from his own emotions.

"I know. Shh." He pulled away and tilted my head, tangling his fingers in my hair. Daryl placed gentle kisses over my lips, careful to not cause me pain.

"Well, shit. Where the fuck are my kisses and hugs, huh?" Merle's voice startled me, and with a sigh, I dropped my legs back to the ground. Daryl stepped back, looking at his brother, who was grinning like a Cheshire cat, glancing between the hunter and me.

"I thought ya both dead," Daryl exclaimed, his voice was full of emotions, and he hugged Merle tightly. The older Dixon patted his back, and I could see a gentle smile tugging at his lips.

"No worries, lil' brother. Doll handled it like a pro. Blasted them off."

Daryl pulled away and glanced back at me, then shook his head, not believing what he just heard.

"Ya let her handle explosives?"

"Hey!" I gasped at the fear in Daryl's voice and placed my hands on my hips. "It was just a fucking grenade. Pull the pin and throw, not that hard."

"Merle. She's shit with explosives."

I smacked my lips and huffed at that comment. "Whatever. We better go before more walkers show up."

"The fuck were ya two thinkin'?" Daryl finally let his anger show up once we started walking back towards the prison. The car we arrived in wouldn't start, so that was our only option. I was marching between Dixons, and now I exchanged a glance with the older one. Daryl was squeezing my hand in his large one, and usually, that would be nice. But right now, I felt like he did it just so I can't run away while he has a go at us.

"Um. That giving Michonne to Governor is a trap."

"Fightin' trap with an ambush," Merle chipped in, making me feel better that he had my back.

"It ain't ambush when it's just two of ya!"

"True, but we are the two most skilled out of the group."

"Did ya get him?" Daryl finally asked, after sighing loudly.

"No," Merle answered through gritted teeth. " But, I stabbed him."

"And he thinks we're dead," I added quickly, but it had the opposite effect on Daryl. He stopped in his tracks, his hand yanking at mine, so I had to do the same. He pulled away and clenched his jaw.

"Why he thinks that?" Daryl asked, his voice strained, and I could tell he tried really hard not to yell.

"He shot me and then fired two rounds at Dollface," Merle answered after few seconds when it became apparent I am not going to say anything. "But no worries, she thought of it. We got vests. Thanks, Doll."

"Oh, it's alright. I thought it might help." I smiled at Merle, but my face quickly fell once I saw and heard his brother.

"I can't believe ya." Daryl started to chew on his bottom lip and paced in front of us. "The hell, man. Why did ya let her go?!"

"Chill, lil' brother. We had it under control. Look, yur buddy sheriff came to me, not the other way around. If not for Doll, I would probably be dead. I never wanted to handle Michonne over." Merle grew serious, lowering his voice and taking a few steps towards Daryl. "Look, we do the dirty work. I did it for ya! I'm with ya and yur people. And I'll let this prick kill me before he gets ya!"

Whoa, didn't know that Merle was capable of showing his emotions to other people. Maybe Daryl's little display showed him to not be afraid. No matter, hunter's blue eyes shifted to me, and I fought the urge to turn around and run.

"And ya! Ya never said a word. And then that?" Daryl reached inside his pocket, and I recognized the letter I wrote to him. "The fuck it's supposed to be? Suicide note?"

"No, Daryl." I shook my head and took a deep breath. "I told you before. All I do is calculated. We were ready to leave when Governor surprised us, but I was ready for that too. I'll always try my hardest to find my way back to you."

Daryl growled in frustration and strode towards me, squeezing my arm just tad too hard and tangling his other hand in my messy curls. His kiss was deep and hard. And most definitely unexpected, especially considering that Merle was right next to us. Speaking of the devil.

"Damn, man. I was wrong. Ya do have some balls."

"Shut up, Merle," Daryl and I spoke in unison, pulling away. With that, we started walking once again, setting a fast pace, to get home before dark.


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Let me start guys with how very sorry I am for not updating last week. I had a super busy and crappy week, which is no excuse. Since I came back to work I sort of lost the will to write and it started to be harder and harder to type anything. But I pulled out of that black hole and so I am gonna give you something to read. Thank you for being patient with me.

The walk back to the prison didn't take us that long. With Daryl leading us through the woods, I was sure that we headed in the right direction. The hardest part was getting past the walkers that were surrounding our home and get to the gate. So we did the only thing we could think of, with being all tired, hungry, and thirsty. We fucking run for it.

With Daryl's crossbow and hunting knife, Merle's stump blade, and my machete, we somehow made our way through the walkers. As we got nearer to the gate, I could hear shouts, and Rick showed in my line of sight, ready to open it for us. Swinging the blade above my head, I cut off the geek's head that got too close to me and kicked another one to the ground.

"Come on, run!" Rick shouted from his spot, and I turned around to see that men are already on the other side, waiting for me to join them. I pushed my exhausted body to move faster and finally stood next to the sheriff, panting heavily from all the exercise I had today.

"Ya OK, Doll?" Merle asked me, and I could feel his hand on my shoulder. I nodded sharply and straightened up, looking directly into Rick's eyes.

"He's alive. We need to get ready."

"Let's get inside. You can tell us in there." I furrowed my brows, and Rick sighed heavily, running a hand over his face. "I had to tell the rest. About the deal, and well-- that you two went off."

Right, that made sense. Oh, fuck. Katana. I spotted her as soon as we entered the common area, where the rest of our people sat down. Her eyes narrowed, and she stood up from her spot, crossing the room towards us. Not wasting any time, Michonne swung her fist and landed it on Merle's face.

"That's for shooting me," She watched the man groan in pain and shake his head. Merle moved his jaw to test it, and a smug grin showed on his face again when Michonne outstretched her left hand for a handshake. "And thanks for not giving me to Governor."

At that, Merle shifted uncomfortably, glancing at me, but I just looked down at my nail, finding them incredibly interesting. I was OK with him taking the credit, especially if it meant that others will start accepting him.

"That was stupid," Carol finally spoke and quickly came in to hug me. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the warmth of her arms.

"It gave us time," I answered and pulled away, finally looking around at others. "He'd be here already if we didn't go there."

"Did you kill him?" Glenn took a step closer, anger on his face clear, and he huffed when I shook my head.

"No. But Merle stabbed him, so he's hurt. And we got rid of his soldiers, except Martinez."

"So that leaves him his townsfolk, giving your plan better chance, right?" Oscar asked, and I smiled gratefully at him. He stood towards the back, with Axel by his side. The other man was still looking a bit pale, but the fact that he could stand up for longer than a few seconds was a good sign.

"Exactly. We need to pack, make this place look truly abandoned."

"OK, people," Rick shouted, gathering the attention of everyone. "Tonight we pack, get rest. At dawn, we'll load our things and get the cars onto the woods, take our spots in prison. Elena, can we talk?"

Reluctantly I nodded and sent a small smile to Daryl before following the sheriff outside. For the past days, since Lori died, we didn't really see eye to eye, and the fact he wanted to talk to me privately made me a bit anxious. Rick stood in the chained cage that was separating two cellblocks and picked up his rifle.

"You ignored what I said, again," Rich said simply, looking out towards the woods and watching for any signs of the enemy.

"Yup. I mean, let's say I'd listen. Michonne now would be gone, and Governor would be doing fuck knows what to her. Could you really live with that, Rick?" I leaned on the metal portion of the cage, glancing up at the sky. It was slowly getting darker, and there was a shade of the moon, slowly showing from between the clouds.

"No. That's why I found Daryl to tell him and you that the plan is off. But it was too late. You were gone."

"Look, we might not kill the prick, but we surely gained an advantage," I told him, my voice growing softer. I was tired of arguing with him over stupid things.

"I know, but it was still risky. Once it's all over, I-- I can't lead anymore," Rick announced quietly, making me look at him. "I'm not your Governor, never wanted to be."

"So what's next, are we back to voting?" I asked and saw him shrug his shoulders.

"I dunno. But I don't want a part in it. Maybe a council? But I would like you to be part of it, if not the head."

"Rick--" I started, a warning in my voice. "--I'm shit with politics, I told you that. Otherwise, I'd take over ages ago."

"You did well past few weeks." There was a soft smile tugging at his lips, and I snorted.

"Didn't have much choice. Otherwise, Hershel would have us leave, and Glenn would storm Woodbury."

"And you convinced them to not do it. Look, Elena. You can lead. I'm not asking you to take over me, just merely suggesting. And you'd still have other people that have something to say in the matter. I-- I just can't. I need to finally get used to the fact that she's gone."

"Are you still seeing her?"

Rick's head snapped to me, confusion evident in his eyes. "How do you know?"

"Hershel told me. But also, I'm not blind, and it's not the first time I saw someone grief like that."

"Yeah, I do." Rick sighed heavily and closed his eyes for a moment. I placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently.

"She knew. I can guarantee you that when she died, she wasn't bitter. She didn't remember the bad, but only good."

"You don't know that. All I showed her in past months was that I couldn't get over her and Shane. Fuck, I couldn't even look at her without thinking about it."

"You know what's funny?" I asked him, and I made sure that my face stayed blank. "Not funny, haha, but.. oh you know what I mean. I also thought we had time. When we saw this place for the first time, I knew we can make it safe. Lori could give birth to the baby, and once all that stress is over, we would sit down. You, her, and me. I would give you a session you needed. Because we finally would have time."

"It's not your fault," Rick said, and I froze in surprise when he circled his arms around me, hugging me.

"And it's not yours, either. Shit happens, and sometimes, there's nothing we can do about it," I spoke quietly into the sheriff's chest. "Yeah, you were at odds, but she remembered times before that, and how you loved each other."

"Thanks, Elena."

"No problem, Officer."

When we pulled away, it was almost dark, and I made my way inside the cellblock. Carol and Maggie sat by one of the tables quietly discussing something between each other but grinned at me after they spotted me. Glancing around, I noticed that no one else was in here, including Merle. What was he up to now?

"We let him back inside," Maggie announced as if reading my thoughts.

"That's great, thank you Mags!"

"I wouldn't cheer just yet if I were you," Carol added with a smug face, making me furrow my brows.

"I mean, yeah, he might not be completely forgiven, but you all have to admit that Merle is trying."

"Oh, we got that part, honey. But he took a cell next to yours."

Oh, fuck no. My eyes went round, and I sat unconsciously on the chair next to Maggie. Goodbye fooling around with younger Dixon, with Merle on the other side of the wall, there was no way in hell Daryl will be willing.

"Here, eat something." Carol placed food in front of me, and I nodded in thanks at her.

"I had great plans," I finally said in between the bites.

"There's always a watch," Maggie added and patted my back. "I mean after all this is over, and we fix the gate."

I shook my head and scolded myself. "That's not why I'm with Daryl."

"Of course not, Eli. But, you still didn't tell us how was your evening yesterday." Both women were looking at me, smiling widely, and my mind automatically went to the memories of last night. How Daryl's hands felt on my skin and how his kisses set my whole body on fire. And how his big, hard--

"Elena!" Maggie's voice pulled me back to reality, making my eyes snap towards them.

"What?"

"Girl, you're smitten. So how was it?"

"I'm not telling you that!" I exclaimed and furrowed my brows, but they were stubborn almost as much as I am.

"Is he good?"

"Was it good for you?"

"Did you come?"

"How big is his--"

"Enough!" I whispered-yelled, looking around the room to make sure that no one was trying to listen to our conversation. "Listen, you nosey harpies. You know how Daryl gets, some things are private! I still can't believe he's alright with all of you know that there's something between us. But that? No way in hell I'm fucking going to tell you that he's the biggest I had. Or that he made me come at least five times. And for sure, I'm not going to tell you how skilled are his fingers and his tongue."

Carol and Maggie's eyes went wide, and they gasped, followed by a silly giggle I didn't know they were capable of. I smirked and got back to the food in front of me, finishing it off and standing up.

"And with that ladies, I had a long fucking day. I'm going to lie down because tomorrow we got lots to do. Night."

I crossed the room and walked through the doors to the cells when someone grabbed my arm and yanked me to the left. I yelped in surprise and spun my body around, pinning the person to the wall with my forearm under their chin. When my eyes adjusted to the darkness in the room, I blinked a few times and pulled away.

"Fuck, Katana! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"You should be more alert," Michonne stated calmly, barely blinking.

"No. I'm alert. But you and fucking Daryl got unnatural, cat-like abilities," I answered and crossed my arms on my chest. "Is there something you need, or just wanted me to piss my pants?"

"I know it was you that stopped Merle, and I wanted to say thank you."

"Oh. Your welcome? You know that Merle did it only because he was told too, right?"

"Yeah, I know," She sighed and looked to the side. "But he could say no."

"Hm, you and I can think that, but it's not that simple with Dixon. He saw the opportunity to show Rick and the others that he can listen. And he did it for Daryl," I told her softly and noticed she was nodding with each word I spoke.

"I know. Merle did what he thought he needed to do. So did Rick; he saw a chance to save you guys and took it. But not you. Why?"

I scrunched my face, thinking about her question. It was simple, really, but was she looking for something more? From what I understood, she was on the road by herself for a while. And then it was just her and Andrea through the whole winter.

"Did anyone told you what I did before the turn?" I finally asked, feeling like she needs the truth. Katana shook her head and looked at me with interest.

"I was a profiler FBI. I saw the man like Governor before. I don't know what kind of answer you looking for; I barely know you. But you came here with Judith's food and told us about our people being taken and helped us get them back. You didn't have to. You could just move on, stitch yourself up, and lay low. So in my books, we owe you. And I knew that Governor won't kill you. No, he would make you suffer for whatever you did to him. And then he'd come here and kill us anyway."

"I see. Well, I'm glad you made that decision."

"Michonne, what did you do to him?" I asked her softly, and she furrowed her brows.

"He had a walker, wrapped in the straight jacket, chained to the wall. His daughter. I put her down and then stabbed him in the eye."

I nodded in understanding, and my mind was working hard, thinking about how that affected Governor. Maybe his daughter's turn was the trigger. Who fucking knows, and it didn't matter anymore. We were too far gone with this war. Tomorrow we either die or kill him and his people.

"Thanks, Katana. Good to have you here," I spoke once again and started walking away towards my own cell.

"Are you gonna stop calling me that?" She groaned a little, and I smiled, not turning around.

"Hm, I don't know. I sort of like it."

I climbed the stairs and slowly walked into my cell. Finally, I just needed some rest. But first I had to get out of these clothes. They smelled like smoke and blood, I wondered if there was any time when I didn't come back from outside full of grime and body parts. My eyes went to Daryl, lying on his back, with his arm under his head. His blue eyes were already watching me, and I gave him a small smile.

I shrugged off the jacket and threw it on the top bunk. Next, I pulled the vest's velcro straps, taking it off, leaving me just in my tank top. I sighed with relief and glanced down at the piece of clothing. I already pulled out the bullets, as they weren't helping, but now I starred at the holes they made.

"Ya really scared me today," Daryl's voice was quiet, and I moved my eyes to his face. He was chewing on his thumb, and even giving the circumstances, it was hot as fuck.

"I know. And I'm sorry, but--" I stopped and furrowed my brows. How to tell him in a way that he will understand, but without hurting his feelings? I soaked the rug with water and wiped my face from all the dirt and sweat, doing the same to my neck and arms. Then I kicked off my shoes and pulled down my pants. I sat down on the chair in the corner of our cell and hid my face in my hands.

"I'm so sorry, Daryl. I should've told you, but then you'd like to come with us. And-- and then I'd be more focused on you. And I already had to take care of one Dixon."

I felt hunter's hands pull at my wrist, and I swear that I didn't even hear him move from the bed. Fucking ninja. I looked deeply into his eyes and saw a mixture of emotions in there.

"I get it. But no more of this shit, El," His voice was gruff, and he gently touched the part of my face that didn't hurt. "We're a team, and we gotta trust each other, El!"

"I trust you."

"It didn't feel like that when I found out ya hid the truth. And last night?" I saw hurt in his eyes, and his lips pressed tight together. "Was it just because ya were scared ya gonna die?"

"Fuck, no!" My eyebrows furrowed, and grabbed his face in my hands. "Of course fucking not. I mean, the thought of possible death was there, but it happened because I wanted it. Fuck, Daryl. I wanted it since I landed my eyes on you for the first time."

I noticed his face flushed, and his eyes dropped, but I don't think it helped as now he had a perfect view at my boobs, covered by the tight tank top. His eyes grew wider, and I cleared my throat, grinning.

"El," His voice sent shivers down my spine, and I moaned softly. "Merle's next door."

"Mm, maybe we should give him something to remember," I purred in Daryl's ear and yelped a little when he suddenly lifted me from the chair, and I was placed on the bed. His frame hovered over me, and I chuckled lightly.

"Ya crazy, woman," Daryl stated, kissing me deeply. I return the favor but winced in pain. My jaw wasn't ready for that kind of play, and Daryl quickly pulled away. I gave him a sad look, and he smiled gently at me. "Think ya need yur rest, Princess."

"Are we OK?" I asked him quietly, rubbing his arm, enjoying the feeling of his strong muscles under my fingers.

"I'm still mad, but yeah. We are." Daryl got off the bed and took off his shirt, leaving him in his wife-beater and low-hung pants. He layed back down and circled his arm around, pulling me close. "But do it again, and I'll kick yur ass."

I snorted and rose my eyebrow at the man beside me. "I would love to see you try, Big Boy."

**Day 303**

The plan was simple. Last night we packed the supplies from the common area, that were growing scarce, let me add. We, for sure, will need to make a run soon. Of course, unless we will be dead in a few hours, then it's not something to worry about. Positive thoughts.

Everybody was gripping their guns tightly in their hands, my MP5's strap swang loosely over my shoulder, and I had a duffel with flashbangs and teargas in it. Daryl and I packed our stuff early this morning, just when the sun started rising, and the bags were stored in the Hyundai. The only thing I left was my own backpack, with my essential belongings, just in case something goes wrong.

I stood next to Merle, and together we watched Daryl hide his bike in the small garage, covering it with an old and dirty sheet.

"It's my bike," Merle kept complaining about it for the past ten minutes, and I had about enough of it.

"It's not like you can ride it, Hook," I said dryly and just about dodged his elbow that he tried to lodge in my ribs. "Hey! Watch it, I'm injured."

"Yeah? Me too, but I ain't complainin'."

"No, you whine like a little girl about a machine. Daryl takes good care of it, trust me." I patted Merle's back and left him to his thoughts, turning around. I caught a glimpse of Carl and Rick. The sheriff tried to talk to his son, but the boy shrugged his father's hand and kept walking. Apparently, he shut down after the news about Michonne and what Rick was willing to do. Rick sighed heavily and walked back into the prison to check if everything was ready.

We drove the cars into the forest and covered them in branches and leaves, so Governor wouldn't notice and then said our goodbyes to the others. Hershel, Axel, Beth, Carl, and Judith will wait for us in the woods. They wouldn't be a great help if it comes to close combat, and they knew it—everybody except Carl. The boy was bitter and angry when I told him that he's going with his baby sister, putting me on the list of people he was pissed off at. I will deal with it later, but now it was vital that he was safe and that he would protect others in the woods.

We all checked our walkie-talkies and then shoved sheets covered in the walker's guts over to Rick and Michonne. They were going to open the gate to the gyms, let some walkers in, controllable amount, of course.

"Be careful, and don't let them see you," I said, looking at Glenn and Maggie. They had riot gear on, from toes to the helmet, and they were staying outside.

"You too. We'll radio you when they come," The Asian man answered, and Maggie gave me a short hug before walking into the position we picked out before.

I took a deep breath and turned around, following the Dixon brothers into the prison. We were going to the boiler room. If everything went according to our plan Governor will search this place the best he can before giving up. Oscar and Carol were in the generator room, waiting for the signal to turn the alarm on.

"Walkers are in," My radio cracked, and Rick's voice was heard in the small, dark room.

"Rodger," I replied, and so did Carol and Glenn. Now it was a waiting game, and I realized I was stuck with smug Merle, who was glancing between Daryl and me. Oh, yeah. This is going to be fun.

"So, Dollface," Merle started, and I immediately tensed, wondering what he has in mind.

"Merle, shut up," Daryl said in a gruff voice, hoping to stop his brother. But that was wishful thinking.

"Oh come on, lil' brother. I just wanna make sure ya take care of yur lady."

"It's not your business," I answered, rolling my eyes.

"Doll, is he treatin' ya right? 'Cause if he ain't, ya can always come to the good old Merle. I'd show ya a good time." I snorted but quickly stopped when I noticed Daryl slowly making his way to his brother. Hunter's jaw was clenched, and a grip on the rifle was strong enough to turn his knuckles white.

"No need, Hook. Somehow I doubt that you're as skillful with your hands or tongue or cock, as your brother," I said, making both men look at me with wide eyes. Daryl, because he couldn't believe I said it at loud, and Merle, I guess, because he didn't think his brother had any kind of skill. "See, Daryl knows how to please woman, before getting his own release makes her want more. Can you say the same about yourself, Merle?"

"Um, Eli," Carol's voice sounded through the radio, and I glanced down. I froze, and my eyes grew round when I realized I was so angry at Merle I was squeezing walkie-talkie. "You left the radio on"

I swallowed harshly and turned away from men, so they wouldn't notice the blush that flew through my body. It wasn't that I was embarrassed. I was a full-grown woman, and I had my fucking needs, but I couldn't look Daryl in the eyes. I knew all relationship shit was new to him, and I never wanted to put him on the spot like that.

"Incoming!" Glenn shouted, and suddenly everything else was forgotten. I drew my gun, and Daryl crossed the room, grabbing tear gas and throwing the flashbangs at me. I caught it without trouble, and we gathered around the door, that was slightly cracked open.

We could hear two loud explosions echoed through the prison, and I wondered what exactly it was. Now we just had to wait for Governor to get inside. I lowered the volume on the radio and moved it closer to my ear. We didn't need them to know we're here. Anticipation was growing inside me, the pounding of my heart was echoing through my ears, and I could feel the sweat that started to cover my body. This was it.

I glanced around at the Dixon brothers, and they were ready for the fight, just as much as I was. With their jaws clenched and watchful eyes. I was listening intently for the signs that Governor is getting closer.

"They're inside," Glenn said, and it was another few more minutes before we heard voices that slowly were approaching our location. We had to make sure they going to get in our direction, so I pushed the door a little, making the hinges squeak.

"Shh, shh." I heard the male voice say, the same that threatened me to kill me yesterday. Footsteps became lauder, and I froze, crouching next to Daryl. We had to wait for them to come closer to make sure the majority of them were in range. Behind us, Merle was standing, rifle in his hands, ready to fire if anyone would decide to check out this room. Through the cracked door, we could see people passing by, and when I was sure we will make enough mayhem, I nodded at Daryl, bringing radio to my lips.

The hunter threw the flashbang and then the tear gas in the middle of the group that stood in the tombs, and I clicked the walkie-talkie. "Now!"

After that, it was chaos, Oscar and Carol started the alarms, and the gas filled the corridor. People outside started yelling and panicking, precisely what we were looking for. I moved to the wall, and Daryl did the same; my MP5 pointed at the door, in case anyone would try to hide here, but shadows started moving back towards the cellblock. The guns have been fired, and there was a lot of screaming.

"They coming back out," I spoke to the radio, knowing that now everything was in Glenn and Maggie's hands. I hoped they managed to jam the weapons attached to vehicles if, in fact, they had any. When all we could hear was the alarm echoing through the prison, and the gas disappeared, I pushed the door, Daryl stepping through it first.

"They're gone," Glenn's voice sounded through the radio, though I could barely hear him.

"We did it," I told the men, and a big smile showed on my face. We moved down the corridors, shooting the walkers that were still lingering in the tombs. Just before our cell block's entrance, we met up with Rick and Michonne; they were already free of their disguise. We rushed outside, where Carol and Oscar were standing next to the happy Glenn and Maggie.

They were no signs of Governor and his people, except for the smoke coming out of the two watchtowers. Fucker blasted them off, though they were still standing, so hopefully, they were salvageable. In the field was abandoned military track with a machine gun attached to it; they left it behind, which means that Michonne's plan to leave spikes worked.

"We did it. We drove them out," Rick commented, and everyone made happy noises.

"You sound like you doubted my plan," I teased the sheriff, planting a hand on his shoulder. He glanced down at me, and for the first time in weeks, I saw him smile genuinely.

"Nah. You did good."

"We should go after them," Michonne stated in a low voice, and I nodded in agreement.

"We should finish it," Daryl obviously felt the same way, and his brother was looking out, his eyes focused on the walkers that were slowly coming into the field.

"We can't let him regroup, or he'll be back."

"It is finished," Maggie scrunched her face, looking at us as if we were crazy. "Didn't you see them hightail it out of here?"

"Hershel, you can come back," I spoke to the radio and turned it off, facing Rick. "They're right. If he comes back, that strategy won't work, he'll be ready for it."

"Yeah, we can't take the chance. He's not gonna stop," Glenn added, and I was surprised that he disagreed with his girlfriend.

"They're right. We can't keep living like this," This time, Carol spoke, and I sent her a small smile.

"So, we take the fight back to Woodbury?" Maggie asked, and I nodded.

"He won't be expecting it, not so soon after."

"But we barely made it back last time, Eli!"

"I don't care," Daryl growled, pacing nervously.

"Yeah," Rick breathed out, glancing around at our faces, thinking about our options and which one was the best. "Let's check on the others."


	49. Chapter 49

I held tight to Daryl's waist when we sped through the country roads, taking a direct way to Woodbury. After some discussions, it was just Rick, Michonne, Dixons, and me going. I didn't blame the others for not coming. We needed them to protect the prison in case Governor would turn around and somehow go past us, but I also understood why Maggie didn't want to go back to that place.

Another person who wanted to go was Carl, but Rick made the boy stay after what Hershel told us. At the thought that young Grimes gunned down a teenager who was surrendering made my heart clench. Carl started to become cold, and none of us realized to what extent until now. We had to finish it, get rid of the enemy, and then take care of our wounds. All of us, Rick and Carl, mainly. They have been through so much in such a short period of time, and the situation with Governor didn't help.

I felt the bike slow down, and I glanced above Daryl's shoulder to see two abandoned trucks that definitely belonged to Governor. Daryl turned off the engine, and I jumped off, reading my gun, looking around. Next to the closest vehicle, there was a walker feasting upon the body of a dead woman. The hunter wasn't wasting any time and shot a bolt through the geek's head, while Michonne spun around and sliced off the other walkers' head.

There were bodies scattered around on the road, and in the field on the left, they were definitely fresh, and I suspected that they were part of the group that attacked the prison. But what happened?

Merle stabbed the geek that approached us, and I pulled the strap of my gun over the head, pulling out the machete. I nearly had a fucking heart attack when the sound came from behind me, a woman's face and hands plastered to the window. She was very much alive, and Daryl quickly opened the door and told her to get out. Rick pointed a gun at her head, and she kept her arms up in a clear sign of surrender.

"Who are you?"

"My name's Karen."

"Were you with Governor?" I asked her, and she nodded, scrunching her face.

"Yeah, I was."

"Karen? The hell happened here?" Merle asked her, obviously recognizing her from the time he lived in Woodbury.

"Merle? But-- he said he killed you." The woman's eyes went wide, and she was glancing between us. Rick deciding she was not a threat, put his Colt away, and turned around to check the area.

"Nah, but he was close. What happened?"

"When we run from the prison, he--" Karen stopped, and I saw she was fighting the urge to cry. I pulled the water out of my pack and handed it over to here.

"Here, have a sip, calm down. I don't know what he told you all, but we're not going to hurt you," I told her softly. And even though I could still see the mistrust in her eyes, Karen slowly reached out and took the bottle from my hand. She took a few sips and cleared her throat.

"He made us pull over," The woman started saying; Merle and I listen to what she got to say, while the others looked around for trouble. "And then when we told him that we didn't sign up for that, that we can kill bitters but not other people, he went crazy."

I exchanged a rugged look with Merle, who gripped his weapon tighter. "All this was him?"

"Yes."

"How did you survived?"

"I-- I hid under Steve's body." After that, Karen started sobbing, the horrors of today finally catching up to her.

"What about Andrea? Is she still in Woodbury?" Michonne moved forward, and Karen furrowed her brows.

"No, she left yesterday, to get to you."

"Fuck," I cursed under my nose and run a hand over my locks. The brown-haired woman glanced at me, not understanding, and I sent her a sad smile. "She never made it."

"Maybe she's back at Woodbury," Merle debated, but we both knew the chances are slim.

"No matter. We need to go. Get back to the car, we can take the trucks on the way back," Rick ordered, and Michonne urged Karen to the back seat of our vehicle while I followed Daryl to his bike.

  
When we approached the Woodbury, it was already dark. I didn't realize how long we have been waiting for the initial attack. We parked on the side of the road, about a hundred yards from the main gate, and started walking. Our weapons up and ready to shoot, Rick was leading with Daryl and Michonne on his sides. Merle and I were watching our backs and protecting Karen.

When we were just about to get to the gate, shots were fired, barely missing the sheriff. I yanked Karen's arm and pushed her behind the nearest car, taking cover, while the others were shooting ahead. I peeked through the smashed window and shot at the metal wall. If what Karen told us was true, the remaining residents weren't fighters, mainly old people or children. And it seemed like whoever was firing at us didn't try to hurt us, just scare us away.

When the firing stopped, so we could reload, Karen took a deep breath and shouted out.

"Tyreese!" Wait, what? I moved my head to face her, but she was already moving, standing up with her arms raised. "It's me, don't shoot."

I yanked her down and wondered if this woman was suicidal or just crazy. "The fuck you doing?"

"They won't hurt me," She replied and shrugged my hand off, again standing up and moving forward.

"Karen!" Came from behind the walls, and I could see a soft smile on her lips.

"It's me, don't shoot."

"Are you OK?"

"I'm fine."

"Where's the Governor?" Tyreese asked, and I knitted my brows together. So the prick didn't come back here as of yet. He was ahead of us, so he certainly had enough time to make it here before we arrived. Which means that maybe he wasn't planning on returning at all.

"He fired on everyone. He killed them all," Karen stated with a sadness in her voice.

"Why are you with them?"

"They saved me."

There was a moment of silence, and I shifted so I could see the wall better. Rick looked to the side, catching my eyes, and I knew instantly what he was about to do.

"Rick, no--"

"We're coming out!" Sheriff yelled, and I sighed heavily, closing my eyes. Un-fucking-believable. Rick stood up, pushing his weapon to his back and held his arms up in surrender. Daryl followed, but he was still aiming his crossbow at the wall and people who were hiding within. Merle cocked his eyebrows at me, and I shrugged, unsure if it's the right or wrong decision. I glanced at Michonne and motioned towards the road.

"Come on, Katana. Let's get this over with."

"I really don't like that nickname," She commented grumpily, standing next to me, our hands up, and we were watching two people on the gate stretch and lower their weapons. We crossed the road towards the gate, which opened when we approached it. Tyreese and Sasha came out, both holding their guns down, and my eyes stopped on the one in man's grip. Without thinking, I sped up and stopped right in front of him, my eyes never leaving the weapon.

"Steyrn SSG 69, with a custom scope and really impressive improvised suppressor. It's a great one, how did you do it?" I fired my mouth, not thinking about where we are. When I finally glanced up at Tyreese, who looked down on me with a serious face, making me raise my hands again. "Right, um. I'm a gun enthusiast. I'll just stand right here."

"What are you doing here?" The man asked, and his eyes shifted above my shoulders, to Rick.

"We were coming to finish this until we saw what the Governor did," The sheriff answered truthfully, and I nodded sadly.

"He-- he killed them?"

"Everybody but Karen," I spoke softly. "And she was lucky, hid. Otherwise, she would be dead too."

"Karen told us Andrea hopped the wall, going for the prison. She never made it." Rick spoke again, clenching his jaw. "She might be here."

"You mind if we look around?" I added and looked between two people. "We don't wish you any harm. Our issue was with Governor, not his people."

I watched Tyreese and Sasha having a silent conversation before man's eyes landed on the woman we saved. Slowly, he nodded and let us through the gate.

  
We walked down to the side of the town, where we rescued our people just days ago. It was dark and eerie, considering there were no people around. Townsfolks were hiding in their houses, soldiers were dead, and Governor himself in the wind. I really hoped he would come back, so I finally would have a chance to kill him. My blood boiled inside me at the thought of the cruel man, and I gripped my gun tighter.

"This is where he held Glenn and Maggie," Rick spoke in a hushed voice, turning into the corridor we found the couple all those days ago.

"The Governor held people here?" Tyreese asked, his shocked eyes catching mine, and I gave him a sharp nod, pressing my lips together.

"Did more than hold 'em," Daryl was the one to answer, and his gruff voice echoed through the room.

Rick slowed down his steps and lowered down his Colt, Daryl, and Michonne right by their side. Merle stayed with Sasha, older Dixon wanted to check on people he once knew, showing his more carrying nature. There was a pool of blood, right by the metal door, that was closed, and I swallowed harshly. Whatever we will find in there, it couldn't be good. It looked way too fresh. Michonne pulled out her sword and glanced at Rick expectantly.

"Will you open it?" Katana's voice was strained; I guess she also expected the worse. The sheriff hesitated just for a moment before bringing his gun up, and he undid the bolt that was holding the door in place. Daryl held his crossbow high, looking down the scope, making sure that whatever pops out will be truly dead in a matter of seconds. Rick took a deep breath and yanked the door open, letting us see the inside.

In the middle of the room layed a bloodied corpse of Milton Mamet, the butler that came to a meeting with the Governor. I had no clue what he was doing in there, but he was definitely dead. Then, as I scanned the room, my eyes caught a glimpse of bare feet on the entrance's right side.

"Andrea," Michonne breathed out and rushed inside, crouching down by the blonde woman while my eyes met Daryl's. He nodded at me and urged me to follow inside, which I obeyed, pushing myself next to the wall, so others could come in as well.

Andrea was on the floor, propped against the wall, covered in blood and dirt. Her face was incredibly pale, and I could see glisters of sweat on her face and neck, her usually blue eyes were bloodshot, and I scrunched my face, knowing what it meant. Michonne pulled the woman to her lap, pushing blonde strands away from Andrea's face. Rick crouched down, too, to better see our excompanion.

"I tried to stop him," The woman's voice was weak and raspy, trying to maintain eye contact with the sheriff.

"You're burning up," Katana stated, and for the first time since we met her, I could see the fear on her features. Andrea scoffed and slowly pushed her jacket aside, revealing a nasty bite mark in the crock of her neck. She groaned in pain when her shirt's fabric pulled on a wound, and Rick turned his face away for a second.

I just stood there, my automatic falling to my side, and I watched the blonde woman on the floor with a blank face. The truth was that we never seen eye to eye, not even back at the quarry, but back then, it was easier to avoid her. Our time on the road and later at the farm made it clear that we would never be great friends. But my personal feelings didn't matter. I never wished that kind of fate on her, even after she shot Daryl. But here we were now, with Andrea slowly fading away on the floor of old metal prison, defeated by a fucking walker.

"Judith. Carl. The rest of them," Speaking was definitely tricky for Andrea, and she took sharp, shallow breaths after every word.

"Us," Rick interrupted her and placed a hand on her knee. "The rest of us."

"Are they alive?"

"Rick glanced back, above his shoulder, between Daryl and me. I finally smiled gently at Andrea and nodded slowly.

"Yeah. They're alive." At that, Andrea smiled widely, and few tears escaped her eyes, rolling down her cheeks. She turned her face to look at Michonne, and it was evident that there was a genuine friendship there.

"It's good you found them." Katana didn't respond but shook her head, her lips pressed together while she tried to stop her sobs. Andrea looked between Daryl and me and continued. "No one can make it alone now."

"I never could," Daryl spoke lowly, bitting on his bottom lip, and he grabbed my hand, interlocking our fingers. I gave him a squeeze and swallowed harshly before replying.

"I could. But Dale had other plans for me. And I'll be forever grateful for that." Andrea chuckled a little, but that quickly turned into a coughing fit that lasted longer than it should.

"Yeah, he had that effect on people."

"Say Hi from me, when you see him. And to the others."

"Will do, Elena." Andrea looked back at Rick and furrowed her brows a little. "I just didn't want anyone to die. I can do it myself."

"No!" Michonne opposed, her voice quivering and full of grief.

"No, I have to. While I still can." Finally, the black woman nodded silently, closing her eyes while more tears slipped down her face. Andrea glanced back at Rick. "Please. I know how the safety works."

Rick considered her words, something like a small smile crossing his face after woman's words. Finally, he pulled out his Python and placed it gently in Andrea's hand, making sure she had a hold on it.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere," Michonne stated, her voice steady and leaving no room for argument. She would stay with her friend until the very end, and that's something I admired. Feeling like it's something they wanted to do alone, I smiled sadly once again and left the room, pulling Daryl behind me. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes, getting ready for what was coming.

Losing people is never easy, and yeah, Andrea was separated from us for a long while, but she used to be one of us. And I guess I could understand what she tried to do here. In the end, it wasn't about staying with Governor in the comfortable, shielded place. It was about trying to avoid the apparent blood bath, that happened anyway. Andrea tried to protect people who couldn't defend themself, townsfolk, and Judith, Carl, Hershel. Unfortunately, that didn't end up in the way she wished for, but the people she cared for were safe, and that's what she will know in her last moments.

When the gunshot rang, my hand squeezed Daryl's, finding some kind of comfort in his calloused palm's grip. None of us moved until Michonne left the room. She moved slowly, and her head hung low. The woman pushed past us, not looking up even for a moment, and Rick rushed after her.

There were fourteen of us leaving Atlanta (even though Merle left separately), and now it was just seven. Half of us survived after we left the city, and I started wondering how much more we are going to lose.

"Tyreese, do you think you could find some sheets? We will take Andrea back with us," I asked quietly, and the black man nodded, leaving as well. Daryl nudged my shoulder, and I looked up at him, his eyes watching me carefully.

"I'm fine, Big Boy. You should go find Merle, make sure he's not causing any trouble. I'll stay here with her," I told him, and the hunter grunted in response, holding my eyes for a little longer before dropping my hand and crossing the corridor.

I walked back into the room and glanced down at the body of the woman I used to know. Her eyes were closed, and there was a pool of blood, seeping from her head. I sighed heavily and turned around, waiting for Tyreese to come back. When I heard heavy footsteps, I rose my gun, just in case it was someone who was not supposed to be here. But it was just the big black guy I was waiting for. Tyreese froze when he noticed my weapon pointed at him. I quickly put it down, and a strained smile spread on my lips.

"Thank you," I said softly, and together we wrapped Andrea's body in white fabric. Tyreese bent down and lifted the lifeless body off the ground, carrying it out. I followed him outside, and he placed her in one of the cars that were still outside. I looked around, and there were some people gathered on the main street, Merle, in the middle of the commotion.

I strode to where he stood, and my eyes searched for the rest of my people. Rick was standing far away, talking to Michonne, who was bent over the wall, vomiting. Daryl was by his brother's side and was shifting uncomfortably, chewing on his lower lip.

"And what do we do now?" One of the older citizens asked. They were all looking at Merle as he was holding all the answers.

"I dunno, Mr. Richards. Just calm down," Merle spoke, and I could see that he was trying to get away from those people and their questions. But he was someone they knew and felt safe with him; they trusted Merle. My eyes went back to Rick, and I crossed the street towards him, not hesitating.

"Rick," I said lowly. The sheriff spun on his heel and glanced in my direction. Katana was standing straight, her stomach had to calm down already, but she was still facing the wall.

"Yeah?"

"What are we going to do with them?" I asked him and waved behind me to the commotion in the middle of the street. Rick looked in that direction and sighed heavily, running a hand over his face.

"What do you think?" His eyes searched mine, and I shrugged.

"Is it the time when you hand over the power?"

"Elena!" Rick sounded tired, and I nodded, looking over my shoulder to the Dixon brothers.

"They can't fend for themselves. And I bet they had no idea what Governor was up to. I think we should bring them back with us."

"OK. Let's tell them," Rick moved towards the Woodbury people, and once they noticed him, they started whispering between each other, and some were glancing at us untrustworthy. I saw that Sasha and Tyreese stood outside the circle, the man holding Karen, who was crying silently in his shoulder.

"I know that you all must be confused," Rick started, catching town folk and Dixons' attention. Daryl's eyes glanced down to me, and I nodded, showing him that I am alright. "I don't know what Governor told y'all, but we are not terrorists who want your home. We never did. We came here before because Governor was holding our people hostage. And then he attacked us in our home, broke our walls, released the dead on us."

I saw confusion and disbelief on their faces, and they were looking around uncomfortably.

"Is it true, Merle?" One of them asked, and I smirked how older Dixon narrowed his eyes at the attention they were giving him.

"Yeah. Governor ain't as good as y'all think. All the supplies we had they usually came from other groups. Rick and others-- yeah, they came here, guns blazin', but they had reasons and ain't wanna any of ya to get hurt. They good folks."

"Today Governor attacked us again at the prison. We chased him out, without any casualties, and we were ready to pursue him here, yes I admit that," Rick continued his speech. "We were tired of living scared. But when we were on the way here, we spotted Governor's cars. He was gone, and Karen was the only survivor."

At that, all eyes landed on the brown-haired woman, and she visibly shivered. "It's true. He-- The Governor shot at us, he-- he killed them all." Karen spoke, and Tyreese was caressing her back gently.

"We don't know if he's coming back, but he's a dangerous man. And what he did to your people indicates a nervous breakdown," I finally spoke, catching the attention of people around me. "We offer you the option of coming back with us. Yes, it might be a downgrade, but we have beds and save walls. I know it's not an easy decision and that you all need to think about it. But if you decide to come with us, we'd need you all ready and packed by sunrise."

I grabbed Daryl and Merle's shirts, pulling them back with me, to the side. "Whether they coming or not, we should check the pantry and armory if they have anything like that."

"Sure thing they do, Sugar," Merle stated, and his brother grunted at the nickname he gave me.

"Great, lead the way, Hook."


	50. Chapter 50

**Day 304**

When we stopped in the inner courtyard, and Daryl turned off ht engine, I swang my leg and jumped off the bike. My hand lingered a little on the hunter's shoulder, and he sent me a reassuring smile. I noticed few people from our group spilling from the inside, and Carl rushed to Rick's side. The boy's face was full of confusion and anger when he whispered something at his father.

People started getting off the bus and looking around to see their new home. Rick followed Carl inside our cellblock, and I sighed heavily. Daryl stood next to me and laced our fingers together, offering me his support. Merle, who was driving the bus, stood on the other side of me, and I had to fight the urge to laugh. Seems like overprotectiveness is a family trail in Dixons.

"Alright, listen up, people," I shouted when the last person got off the bus. "For now, we are all restricted to this courtyard, until we fix the main gate and clear the field from walkers. You will be living in cell block D, the biggest one we got, and you should fit just fine. Not all of the prison is cleared, so if you get to some closed of gates, it means it's not safe, and you can't go there." I turned around and glanced at the faces of my group, thinking quickly.

"Beth, Oscar, Axel. Please show them to the cell block and cafeteria. We gonna put the food in there, so we all can access it. We have supplies from Woodbury, so we should be fine for a while. Beth, I want you to document what each person can do and what was their job role before the turn and at Woodbury, OK?"

"No problem. Please follow me," The blonde woman spoke and started leading the big group towards their new home, Oscar and Axel hot on her trail.

"You two." I stopped two people I remembered from before. "Sasha and Tyreese, right?"

"Yes, Ma'am," The man answered, and I saw the woman next to him, roll her eyes.

"I wanted to apologize again for how you've been treated last time we saw each other. I know there is no excuse, but Rick lost his wife just a few days before, and we weren't himself. Made the wrong decision. I wanted to offer you to stay in C with us." I said, waiting patiently for their reply.

"Does it mean you're the new leader?" Sasha asked, and I could see a glint of mistrust in her brown eyes. I smiled and shook my head.

"No. I think what past days taught us is that one leader is a bad idea. We're going to create a council. And I wanted you to join it."

Both of them looked shocked and exchanged glances while Daryl pulled me closer to him. It was his and Hershel's idea, to begin with, and I couldn't agree more.

"Lead the way--"

"Elena." I suppled, realizing I didn't introduce myself before. "Let's go inside, so you can meet the others, and we can start discussing things."

I gestured towards the cellblock, and Carol walked in first, followed by the rest of the people lingering in the courtyard. We all stopped in the common area, and some settled on a chair and around the tables.

"Firstly, I have a list of people Rick and I thought should be on the council," Hershel was the first to speak up. I noticed the sheriff and his son standing in the entrance to the cells, the boy holding Judith in his arms. "Carol, Glenn, one of you two," Hershel gestured towards Sasha and Tyreese, and they nodded, starting whispering. "Elena, Daryl, and myself. If anyone got objections or another person in mind, please speak now."

No one said anything at that, and Hershel smiled gently and nodded to himself.

"Good. We going to meet today, in a few hours in the office between here and D. Get some rest and eat something," I spoke and then moved towards the food.

"Come on, I can show you where you can stay," Maggie told the newcomers and led them inside the cellblock. It would be another long day, and I knew I needed to eat before I would forget.

I sat down in the chair by the desk in the office where we were supposed to meet. I pushed my hair out of my face with a huff of annoyance and looked down at the papers scattered in front of me. I came here as soon as Beth finished gathering all the information about Woodbury people, and I spent the last hour sorting names into a working category. Now that we finally could focus on making prison a home, not worrying about war or people's resources, we would be able to do it.

My head snapped upwards when the doors opened, my hand immediately going to the gun on my hip, but I relaxed when I realized it was just Daryl and Glenn.

"Ya ready, El?" Daryl asked me, hos eyes scanning my tired face, lingering on the yellow bruises covering my jaw.

"I think so, Big Boy. How are things on your end?" Daryl, Glenn, and Tyreese were moving our food supplies to the cafeteria, so later we could check what we actually have and what we're missing.

"All good, the rest are comin' now."

"Where's Merle?"

"With Oscar and Axel, figuring a way to connect showers," Glenn was the one to answer, and I noticed that mention of the older Dixon wasn't as hard on him as it was for the past week. I guess getting shot at for the people you love is a good thing in his books. Hershel and the others picked that time to come in, and soon, everyone gathered around the desk, Daryl leaning against the wall behind me. It felt nice, like having his support and that he has my back.

"I know we're all tired. Fuck I didn't sleep for at least thirty hours," I started, looking at the faces around me. "Let's make this quick, so we can all rest. If necessary, we can meet up again tomorrow. I have a list of all our names, our group, and Woodbury. I also made a list of things that need to be done around the prison and daily jobs. I'm gonna go through them, and if someone got any other ideas, we gonna add them here, sounds good?"

I waited for any disagreements, but all I got were quick nods and a smile from Hershel and Carol.

"Alrighty. First would be fixing the main gate and getting rid of walkers. Michonne already gave me an idea of doing it without tools, sort of a pulling mechanism. We should start tomorrow, as we would need as many of us as we can spare. Everyone agrees?"

"We should put spikes in front of it. Impale walkers that get too close," Daryl added, and I hummed, writing it down on a paper.

"Next big thing would be clearing the rest of the prison. We know we have a breach from the gyms, and we can't rebuild the walls, but we could barricade the entrances. The place we met up with Governor is made of scrapped metal; if we'd get it, we could use that. And then, of course, clearing the rest of a prison."

It took us at least another two hours to actually get through all the ideas and to prioritize them. After we fix the gate and clear the prison, everybody will be responsible for other things. Glenn and Sasha in charge of organizing runs. Carol and Beth provisions and lessons for children that arrived from Woodbury. After today's meeting, everything will be solved by voting, but the first decision was that someone has to keep it in one place. And that someone would be me. And also hunting in the morning with the Dixon brothers, just like at the beginning.

If we wouldn't be busy with those things, there always was watch and clearing the fences. My head was spinning from all the ideas, and I was actually excited. We were finally making a living for ourselves, not just surviving from day to day.

When the meeting was over, Daryl and I made our way towards our cells, ready to lay down. I was dead tired; everything that happened past few days was finally catching up to me. My face was throbbing, and my chest hurt from the bruise Governor left. But apparently, my day wasn't over yet. When we got to the common room Michonne stood up from the chair she was lounging on and strode towards us.

"I'm going after him." Aha. I blinked twice and pushed myself to stay awake enough for this conversation.

"We don't even know where he went, Katana."

"He can't be far, and Merle told me about a few places where he could go."

I sighed deeply and glanced at Daryl, expecting him to agree with me that it's a stupid idea, but his jaw was clenched tightly, and that made me uneasy.

"Tomorrow. We fix the gate, and then we'll take a car and search for him," Daryl announced, and my eyes went round. Say fucking what? That's when the rest of the council caught up to us.

"Search for who?" Hershel asked, but I could see that Glenn and Sasha realized who we were talking about.

"Governor," I supplied, pulling my hand away from Daryl and pressing it to my side, my nails digging deep in my palm's skin.

"You think it's a good plan? He's probably long gone." Carol asked, furrowing her brows.

"He lost too much. He'll find a way to gather more people and come back here," Katana answered, her voice full of confidence. She was right; this guy wasn't the type to let go, not until his death. But we also lost so much recently that we barely had any time to catch our breath since the farm. When we found the prison, it was supposed to be safe heaven but turned deadly for T and Lori. And then fucking Governor came, and we had a war on our doorstep. If there was time to live, try to change our future, so it's not just bare survival, day after day, that time was now.

Hershel moved his eyes to mine and spoke quietly. "You can't all go. We can't let our three best fighter's go at the same time."

I made sure that my face remained blank, and I felt like someone stabbed me in my heart when I replied.

"I know. Daryl will go. I'm going to sleep." After that, I turned around and ignored others until I was safe inside my cell. Tears threatened to spill from my eyes, but I knew I couldn't let them fall. Daryl would be here in a few moments, and the last thing I wanted was to make him feel guilty. I understood why he felt like he needed to do this, but that didn't make it better. It would be the first time in a long while when we would be separated. And I doubt they would be coming back here every night. No, if they won't find this prick, Michonne and Daryl will be venturing further and further into Georgia.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of those depressing thoughts. That won't help me. Taking off my shoes and pants, I layed down on a bed and closed my eyes. We will be fine. I will be way too busy to worry over Daryl. Plus, he is fucking Dixon, and no one kills Dixon but Dixon. At least that's what I tried to tell myself just before I succumbed into a restless sleep.

**Day 305**

The morning came too quickly. I was still exhausted, and my muscles were sore. Not to mention the bruises that covered my body. I stirred gently, but a strong hand lying on my belly pulled me closer to the firm body behind me.

"Ain't dawn yet, El," Daryl's face was pressed to my hair, and when he spoke, goosebumps automatically covered my skin. Fuck, how I loved his morning voice; that throaty, husky sound could melt any icebergs.

I could feel the heat radiating from the hunter's body, and it made me realize he wasn't wearing a shirt. A soft smile tugged at my lips, and I pressed myself tighter to his chest, shoving my hips back. Daryl's morning bulge, covered just by his boxers, fit perfectly in the curve of my ass.

"I'm not tired anymore, Big Boy." A lie, obviously. But he was going with Katana for fuck knows how long, and I wasn't wasting our last morning.

"Annoying woman," Daryl groaned in my ear but pushed his hips further into my ass, making me moan softly. His lips started leaving a wet trail on my neck, and I closed my eyes from pleasure.

I reached behind me to pull him closer to me, but Daryl grabbed my wrist and pressed it to the mattress.

"Nah. Be a good girl and stay still." Jeez, he was going to be the death of me. Not arguing, as it was hot as fuck I gave the control to the man behind be.

Daryl shifted the arm under my head, and I gasped when his hand squeezed my breast. I buckled my hips and started rub against his clothed cock. That earned me a low growl in my ear, the one that sent shivers down my body and the heat between my legs grew. Daryl hooked his fingers under the elastic of my panties and shoved it down in a swift motion. I bit down gently on his arm when he touched my wet clit, and parted my lips. Not waiting any longer, the man pushed two fingers inside me, slowly at first, twisting and stirring in my core. Pumping his fingers in and out while I moaned softly with each movement. Daryl's other hand never stopped massaging my breast, twisting my erect nipple between his fingers. I matched his rhythm, but before I could enjoy it, he pulled away.

"Daryl," I whined at the loss of contact, but he was back just seconds ago. I felt the hunter shift slightly, and I covered my mouth with my hand when he slammed his hard, big cock in me, to not be heard by others. He grabbed my knee and hooked it around his hips, allowing him better access.

The feeling of being full like this was incredible, with Daryl's fingers on my breast and hip, his muscular chest pressed to my back. I already could feel the knot forming deep in my groin, and I knew that no one else before ever had that effect on me. Daryl pulled away almost entirely, just to thrust forward again, his girth stretching my wet walls. He set a slow pace, burrowing himself deep withing me and staying there for a moment before continuing.

The feeling was overwhelming, and I needed more. "Daryl, fa-- faster." My voice was shaky and barely hearable, but he was an experienced hunter and didn't miss it.

With another thrust, he filled me to the hilt and pushed my leg off him. Daryl released my breast, and I yelped when he shoved me onto my stomach, raising my hips just an inch. He propped himself on his arms and started thrusting faster inside me. I could feel him more in this position, and he was hitting the magic spot inside me. I knew I won't last for much longer, especially with his quiet growls that emitted deep from bis chest. It was one of the most sensual sounds I heard, and just that was nearly enough for me to come.

I tried to match his hips, but it was sloppy and rushed, my body trembling for release.

"Come for me, Princess." I usually would scowl for the mocking pet name, but right now, it was hot as fuck. I hid my face in the pillow and bit hard on the soft fabric, covering my moans and cries. Daryl leaned forward and wrapped his hand in my curls, pulling gently, and next time he pushed inside me, I was gone.

With Daryl's name on my lips, my walls clenched around his hard dick, and a heatwave shook through my body. I was squeezing tightly on his cock, and that was enough for him. With a few more fast and sloppy thrusts, I felt him spill inside me. Daryl stirred a few times and froze, though his body was trembling a little. After a moment like that, with both of us panting and trying to catch our breath, the hunter slowly pulled out and layed on his side next to me. When I was sure that I could move again, I shifted as well, facing him and putting my hand on his sweaty chest.

"I didn't hurt ya?" Daryl asked after a few minutes, his arm draped lazily over my middle.

"No, don't worry. I really enjoyed it." I grinned at the man beside me, sure that my face was telling him exactly how much.

"I'm sorry," I furrowed my brows and noticed that his jaw was clenched and eyes closed to avoid mine.

"What for?"

"For goin'. I have to, El. After what he fuckin' did to ya, Merle, Maggie. I just have to."

I snuggled closer to Daryl and reached out, slowly touching his face and scruffy cheeks.

"I know. Trust me, I get it, and I wish I'd have killed him when I had the chance."

"Nothin' ya can do now. Don't beat yurelf over it. Just-- I don't wanna leave ya," Daryl admitted and pressed me tighter to his chest.

"I know. And I'm worried about you going. But that was bound to happen. We can't go on all the runs together all the time," I said softly, even though tears started forming in my eyes. "And you gonna have a radio, so you better contact me at least once a day, or I'll track you down and finally kick your ass."

"Ya keep telling yurself that, Princess."

"Oh, game on, Big Boy." I stretched my body and planted a deep kiss on Daryl's lips, pushing other thoughts aside. We still had a few hours before he would leave, and the council's instructions where clear. Have radio with them at all times; if they were to leave the area, inform us beforehand. Don't be away for longer than a week at one time and report if they actually find Governor. We would gather people and come join them, to not risk their lives.

We split into three groups. The guys, Rick, Daryl, Tyreese, and Oscar fitting this fucking gate in. Merle, Glenn, and Sasha were protecting the men while Katana, Maggie, and I run around the field, killing walkers. Others, including some people from Woodbury, were in the catwalk, distracting as many walkers as possible. It also had it's a downside, as their shouts were attracting geeks from outside.

I kicked at the nearest walker, pushing it to the ground and stabbing its head with my hunting knife. I snorted at the memory from just a few minutes ago when I first explained the plan. People from Woodbury, mostly some men, weren't sure if sending three weak women to the field by themselves. At that, Michonne and I exchanged amused looks and just shook our heads. I guess that didn't change with the apocalypse, and some men will still see the other gender as below them.

After the attack, when Governor took most of the walkers with his guns, all this was easier. Of course, there were some newcomers after the night, but still fighting this amount walkers wouldn't be an issue. I stood in front of the group protecting the men and had my bow up and ready. I was going to take care of geeks that way at first. My ribs were sore from Governor's bullets, making me clench my teeth to avoid any strained noises from escaping my mouth. Morning fun with Daryl didn't exactly help my healing, but I would rather die than tell him that.

I notched another arrow and sent it flying to my left, where a bigger walker group was. The dead were slowly moving towards us, and I didn't waste any time, grabbing another arrow from the quiver on my back and shooting it. I was counting in my head how many I have left before I would have to switch to the machete. I kept going until I had only one left, aiming it at the last geek coming my way when someone yelled my name from my right. I spun around in a split second, coming almost face to face with a walker that crept on me. I pushed my bow down and kicked the dead woman in the chest, and stabbed her in the head with the last arrow.

I pulled the machete out, knowing it's time to go melee, and turned back to the walker I was aiming at before, just to see Katana, slashing right through its head. I gave her a sharp nod and jogged to the next geek.

People in the catwalk were working hard as well. Whenever they would catch a walker's attention, making it come closer, they would use pipes and other sharp tools to stab it through the fence. Only a few walkers were left by the time men figured out the gate and how to mount it back in place. I started collecting my arrows while Michonne swang her blade through the heads of the remaining geeks.

Now it was time to burn the bodies and to say goodbye. My eyes followed the broad shoulders of the shaggy man until he disappeared from my line of sight.

"He's gonna be fine," A gruff voice spoke next to me, startling me a little, and I turned my face to look at Merle. He was standing still, facing the prison where his brother went to. There was a shadow of worry on his face, and I knew he feels as unsure about it as I did.

"I know. Nothing can kill Dixon but Dixon," I said the words that Daryl once said, back in Atlanta, and it seemed like it was years ago.

"Exactly, Doll. Come on, others waitin' for ya."

I crossed the field, looking at the people gathering around Rick and Glenn. There weren't that many people from Woodbury; most of them were back inside as they were either kids or elderly.

"So, what now?" One of the newcomers, Mark, I think, asked, and Glenn was first to answer.

"We burn the bodies, and tomorrow we'll go grab metal, fortify this place properly."

"In the meantime, we need to clear those two towers," I added, pointing at the watchtower that was blasted during the attack. "We can still use them, but it's too dangerous because of all the glass."

I saw people nodding to themselves, and we split into groups again. The day just started, and there was still plenty to do.

I took Tyreese, Oscar, and Rick with me outside to bring the wood to start the fire. It went better than last time, considering that previously we lost two people when we were doing it. When we came back, there was a car slowly driving through the field towards the main gate. I could see Merle and Carol walking together behind it, and I knew it was time. I sent a strained smile to Oscar, and he nodded at me, making me take off and jog in that direction. The vehicle stopped, and Daryl came out from the driver's seat, his eyes immediately on me. His heated gaze made my heart race faster, and I grinned, stopping right in front of him.

"You better come back to me, Dixon," I stated and felt as my heart will leap out of my chest at the thought of him going out there without me. But Hershel was right, we couldn't all go, and as for now, I was needed in here.

"Stop worry, woman. I'll be fine," Daryl grunted, and I smiled at that.

"Be safe, Big Boy."

"Always." I grinned and patted his chest, knowing that he isn't comfortable with PDA, especially that it's all new and fresh.

"I'll keep the bed worm for you." I winked at the man in front of me, and his eyes glanced down to my lips, making my blood boil. God, what he was doing to me with a simple look. But there was hesitation in his eyes, and I understood. "It's fine, we had our goodbye. Just come back safely to me."

"Take care of Merle."

"Oh, trust me. I got plenty of shit for him to do." At that, Daryl smirked and pushed loose strands out of my face. I looked up from under my lashes and grinned.

"Careful there, Big Guy, or I'll think you're ready to show your affection in front of all these people." I pointed behind me, and Daryl's eyes moved above my shoulder. A small growl escaped his lips, and I sighed heavily, wishing that he would be more confident in himself.

"I'll come back."

"Ya better, Lil' brother," Merle's voice came from behind me, and I rolled my eyes.

"Take care of El," Daryl asked his brother, and I pressed my lips in line, staring him down.

"Hey, I don't need anyone to take care of me!"

"Sure thing, Darlina. Yur girl is safe with me."

"Oh, fuck off both of you," I said and started walking away, when a hand grabbed my elbow, yanking me back. Daryl pulled me close to his chest and pressed a quick kiss to the top of my head. I closed my eyes and smiled at that, knowing it was a big deal for him, but I wouldn't trade him for anyone else. It will be a hard few days, but I will be busy myself, trying to make sure that prison runs smoothly.


	51. Chapter 51

**Day 307**

The last few days were hectic, to say at least. We went back to the factory where the Governor met with Rick. Rick, Oscar, and Glenn went with me alongside with Tyreese and two Woodbury residents, Mark and Greg. They both seemed capable, and we had to check them in action, so it was good to take them with us. We took our pickup and two trucks that Governor used during his attack.

When we got to the old abandoned factory, the men looked at me with wide eyes, asking questions about the burned spot and bodies, wondering what happened there. That's right, Merle, and I didn't precisely explain how we managed to do what we did. Rick wasn't the happiest, but I quickly reminded him that we came back alive, and there was nothing to worry about.

It took us almost a whole day to gather metal plates and wooden planks, but it was well worth it. Now we had an addition to our front gate, with two big metal slabs and spikes surrendering the parameter. It would help with coming back to prison and minimalize the number of walkers that get to us.

Once that was done, we cleared the prison to the best of our abilities, sealing the gyms with remaining metal. Axel and Glenn found a library, and it was decided that it will be a perfect spot for the council meetings and lessons for kids. I also checked out the titles in there to see if there's anything worth reading, more survival stuff, but it was mainly just fiction to occupy bored inmates.

Some of the Woodbury's residents came to Hershel and Carol asking to put Merle on the council as their representative. And it was my job to convince him that it's a great idea. That's why I was trekking through the woods right now with my bow in my hand and quiver on my back. The older Dixon was right behind me. It was our first hunt since the quarry, and I forgot how annoying he could be. He carried one of the rifles, and we fitted a suppressor on it, so if he had to use it, we wouldn't attract walkers. He also had a duffel bag over his shoulder with everything we will need to set up snares to catch smaller prey.

"Did I ever told ya how Darlina puked himself from dyin'?" Merle asked when I was kneeling on the ground, setting the sticks, and working on wires. I rolled my eyes and sighed heavily, glancing at the man next to me.

"No, but I don't doubt you'll tell me," I told him and worked on the trap. He told me a story, how he nearly got Daryl killed over some stupid cartoon, until the dealer punched the hunter in the gut, making him vomit all over the floor.

"You know it's not really funny, right?" I asked him, and Merle scrunched his face, looking slightly offended. "All the stories you told me, all of them somehow involve Daryl getting hurt for you."

Merle got quiet after that, pondering over what I said before he spoke again.

"What ya see in him, Doll?"

"Appart from his bulging arms and yummy ass?" I rose my eyebrows, and the man next to me burst out laughing.

"Ya ain't talking about Darlina."

"Of course I am, dickhead." I connected the last wire to the longest stick and stood up, ready to keep moving. "Next time you see your brother take a good look at him. He got strong arms, fucking broad shoulders, and tight ass. He's strong and capable, and under that ruff surface of scowling, he cares about people. And yeah, he's not much of a talker, but he shows concern with his actions. I'm so proud of him coming out of his shell and becoming his own man, someone with a valuable opinion. His super observant, almost nothing gets past Daryl, you know?"

"Fuck, Doll. Ya sound like yur in love." I stopped in my tracks, turning to Merle slowly and taking in his face. His eyes were round and brows knitted together, observing me.

"He doesn't know, and I'd appreciate it if you would keep your mouth shut. I wish to tell him myself when the time is right," My voice was gentle, but stern. There was a shuffle behind Merle, and I automatically rose my bow, arrow flying through the air after a walker stumbled from between the trees. "Come on, let's go."

We kept moving and setting more snares, catching some squirrels and birds. Not a lot, but maybe enough for some kind of stew; Carol would now what to do with it. Merle was incredibly quiet, and only because his footsteps weren't silent, I knew he was still behind me.

"Why?" The man suddenly asked, and I furrowed my brows but didn't turn around.

"Why, what?"

"Why would ya care 'bout Dixon?" Aaa, right. So it seems both brothers had an issue with knowing their worth. It wasn't actually so surprising; the difference was that Merle was hiding his insecurities behind cocky behavior and ladies-man bravado.

"There is no good or full answer, Merle. It's just-- he makes me feel the way I never did before. He's worth it. And you could be too, to someone, one day," The older man scoffed at me, and I stopped once again, groaning inside. "I'm serious, dipshit. You know, Woodbury's people want you on a council. As their representative."

I turned around, and Merle scowled at my words, his jaw clenched tightly, and he was avoiding my eyes.

"They stupid, ain't know shit 'bout anythin'," He said finally, and I shook my head.

"Maybe, but they know you, and you were the one to convince them to come back with us."

"Nah, it was Rick."

"Yeah, right after you said we're trustworthy. Look, you have someone that looks up to you, is it really that bad? You're an experienced hunter and ex-military. After Governor, on some level, they see you as the next person to look for protection. We want you on council too."

"Yeah, I betcha China-man was fuckin' happy 'bout that," Merle teased and pushed past me, walking further into the woods. I took a deep breath and silently followed him.

"He'll get over it. But apologizing to him and Maggie wouldn't hurt, you know?"

"Whatever."

The rest of our hunt was spent in silence, neither of us saying a word. We occasionally exchanged some hunting calls and whistles to alarm each other about a game or lone walker that crossed our path. Today we didn't catch as much as I hoped, but we set up snares and would come back to check them regularly.

The library was quiet, a peaceful solace after a long day. I wish I could say that I was relaxing with a book and a coffee, but that would be a lie. The table I was sitting by had maps scattered all over it and a notebook I found here. Hershel wanted to keep the meeting's official, which meant writing down all the critical points.

The doors to the library opened, and I glanced up from the papers, sighing in relief. "Took you long enough, guys."

Hershel, Glenn, and Merle walked in and sat around the table. We agreed to meet earlier, to go over the maps and potential places to hit. There was no point in doing this with others present; they would die of boredom.

"I'm afraid that I'm not as fast as I used to be, Elena," Hershel replied, corners of his lips lifted slightly, and I snorted.

"No doubt, Doc. OK, let's start this. Our supplies won't last forever, and we need to figure out where we can get more."

"The hell I'm here for?" Merle asked me grumpily from across the table, his arms crossed over his chest."

"Maps, Hook. Glenn will be organizing runs, seeing what's around worth scavenging, and you, Merle, know which spots the Governor already hit. Hershel, please make a list of things we'll need to start growing our own shit."

"I'll make it, but where we gonna get it from?" The older man asked me, and he grabbed a sheet of paper and pen, his eyes staring at me.

"Well, I guess there are still some nurseries around. And we could hit the neighboring farms, see if there's anything left."

"Ya really thought 'bout that, didn't ya, Doll?" Merle smirked at me, and I sent him a finger.

"Not that I had anything better to do, past few days."

"Show me the map," The older Dixon stretched his hand to Glenn. The Asian man glared at him but quickly passed the paper, pressing his lips in a thin line. Merle grabbed a pen from the table and started placing crosses around it, eliminating the already hit stores.

It took us about an hour to go through all the information and make a list of places we should visit and check. Glenn would be in charge of organizing the runs alongside Merle, none of them were frilled about it, but I thought it would do them good. When the rest of the council walked in, we talked about our next goals.

Supplies, of course, that's one of the main things, alongside with hunting. Oscar and Axel were working on setting up some kind of showers. Greg, one of Woodbury men, was quite a fixer and offered his help with it. The women that came from the town will be helping out with laundry and cooking, considering their age and inexperience in this world, that was the best option for them. Which led to the next point I wanted to raise.

"--Maybe build some kind of outside grill," Sasha was talking, proposing to get an area in the outer courtyard. The cafeteria was a good spot, but it was a walk from both cellblocks, and it didn't have the best lighting.

"That sounds good. We could use some of the wood we collected from the factory. See what else we can find around. I have one more point to raise, though," I said and bit my bottom lip a little.

"What's that?" Carol asked, looking over at me with curiosity.

"Um, people. We need people. Yeah, we got plenty from Woodbury, but not many of them can help around this place. We have more and more walkers every day, and we need watch shifts."

"And how you propose to do it?" Glenn asked me, his brows knitted together.

"I know we have a shit track record with new people. But I also think that majority of you could recognize the potential danger. Rick actually was the one who gave me the idea." I spoke to the sheriff last night. We talked about how trust isn't something given anymore, and I ultimately agreed that you can't know people's intentions. But we could try.

"And what's that, Sugar?" I rolled eyes at Merle. He was trying new nicknames recently, seeing how far he could push me before I snap.

"Three questions."

"And you think that will be enough?" Sasha wondered, making me shrug.

"I don't know, but it'd help. I think they can give us a vibe of the person we about to take with us. Let's try. We don't know each other well, Sasha. How many walkers have you killed?"

I could see the woman by the table scrunch her nose, and I cocked my eyebrow at her. She sighed heavily but decided to entertain me. "I don't know. Hundred?"

"And how many people have you killed?"

Carol gasped when I said that, and Hershel locked his serious gaze with my eyes.

"None!" Sasha's voice was lauder and strong, disgusted by the question. I smiled softly at her, I didn't mean to upset her in any way, and just by her reaction, I knew I could trust her.

"Why?" I asked the final question with a blank face.

"Didn't have to," Sasha's answer was quiet, but I could see understanding in her eyes.

"I didn't intend to accuse you of anything. But how you reacted? That was genuine, and I knew that you hated the thought of it. That in my books, puts you as a person we could trust and take to prison."

"I get it. I think. My turn, though." I didn't expect that, and I smiled widely, knowing it won't go as smoothly. "How many walkers have you killed?"

"I stopped counting after a hundred," I leaned back in my chair and put my hands in my lap.

"And how many people have you killed?"

"Before or after the turn?" I was still smiling, but my voice was lower, and I felt as if something got stuck in my throat. I watched Sasha's eyes grew more prominent, and she tilted her head. She was the only one surprised, though. The others knew what I did in the previous life, and they expected that I had to shoot someone in the line of duty.

"Both," Sasha finally replied, and I nodded, clearing my throat.

"Three before. All were criminals, and they choose getting shot instead of going to jail." I glanced up, connecting my eyes with hers, pulling a blank mask over my face. "Twenty-four since the turn. Though the last seven were between Merle and me."

"I got three in there, Doll," Dixon supplied, and I nodded.

"Twenty-one then," I could see her face shifted, and Sasha turned in her seat as if trying to get away from me. Yeah, exactly.

"Why?" It was just a whisper, but the room was dead silent. No one dared to say anything.

"First was the two guys from the group that wanted our farm for themselves. Then, my crazy old neighbor, she tried to kill me. The next six invaded our home, hell, my home, and they weren't friendly. The next two tried to rape me, and Maggie was next. Then it was Thomas, crazy inmate we found in here. He was a danger to us all. And next nine of Governor's people. I did it all to protect my family, and I'd do it again."

"Shit, Blondie," Merle mumbled, and his eyes were dark, something like sympathy in them. Hershel shifted and propped his elbows on the table.

"We all know what Elena did, and even though the count sounds high, we owe her our lives. She saved each one of us on at least one occasion." It was directed to Sasha, but his blue eyes were concentrating on my face, and I understood that message was also for me. As much as he hated the thought of killing another human being, he knew that if I had another choice, I would take it. I nodded gently and closed my eyes for a moment, trying to shake the guilt off my body.

"They're good questions," Glenn commented, breaking the spell, and I forced a smile on my lips, glancing around the room.

"When do you want to go on a run, then?"

"Day after tomorrow. It'll give me time to decide where exactly look first and who to take."

"OK, Sasha. You are a good shot, and I thought that you could organize the proper watchtower rotation," I directed my graze towards the black woman, and she nodded sharply.

"How many hours?"

"Every four hours. Not too long to get bored or go asleep, but long enough. And I thought that Tyreese could take care of the fence. Show people how it's done," I added, and she smiled gently.

"He can do that."

"How much formula we got left?" Hershel asked, looking over at Carol. I watched her scrunch her face and open the book she used to catalog our supplies. She was used to that; after all, she kept at that throughout the winter, and I trusted her.

"About two more weeks," Carol finally replied, raising her eyes. "But we definitely need to keep an eye for more."

"I'll keep that in mind, see what we can find," Glenn announced, and I nodded. "I'll grab a small crew to go and scavenge, but with the farming stuff, I think we should wait for Michonne and Daryl to come back."

"Why?" Sasha asked, her brows knitted together and looking curiously at the Asian man.

"Going over to the farm or nursery is more dangerous. Potential people and nurseries are bigger, more walkers."

"Make's sense. Any news from my lil' brother?" I saw Glenn snapped his head after hearing Merle speak, and I tried to hide my smirk. I had to admit that Dixon really was trying to make amends. Sometimes it was in an insulting way, but he was super polite around Glenn and Maggie.

"Yeah. We spoke a few hours ago. They went back to Woodbury. It was burned down, probably Governor." Everyone in the room except Merle and I flinched at the news, and I sighed heavily. "They went south but should be back in a few days."

"OK, is there anything else to add?" Hershel added, and I could see that he was ready to adjourn the meeting. No one else spoke anymore, and others started to stand up, leaving the room. I quickly collected the papers and stacked them together, placing them in the top drawer of a desk alongside the maps. They will be safe here until we need them.

**Day 308**

I didn't realize how hard it is to sleep until Daryl went with Katana to chase the Governor. For the past few days, I was turning around and had only a bit of sleep. I missed the warmth of Daryl's body and his smell around me. How his strong arms would wrap around me and pressed me tighter to his body.

I shifted on the bed and buried my face in the pillow, trying to catch the last traces of Daryl's scent on it. It was nearly gone, mixed with my shampoo, but enough to calm me down and put a small smile on my lips.

It was still early in the morning. There was barely any light in the cellblock when I climbed down the stairs silently. I had my usual attire on with knives over the top, Glock by my side, and the bow in hand. I had to check the snares that Merle and I set up yesterday and see if I can catch something bigger.

As usual, I was the first to wake up, or so I thought. When I got closer to the common area, I heard a voice. I sneaked to the gate, and my eyes immediately found Maggie, cradling little Judith in her arms. A baby looked good on the brown-haired woman; she was swaying gently and whispering something to the cooing girl.

"You're good with her," I said quietly to not wake up others, and Maggie turned around to look at me.

"I try, but I think Beth is better," She commented and gave me a tired smile.

"How long did she keep you up?"

"Few hours. Beth was exhausted, and I didn't wont to disturb her."

"You should try to get some more sleep, it's still early," I told her, and she glanced down at the sleeping baby. Maggie nodded and moved slowly towards the cells.

"Where you going?"

"Hunting, see if snares got something," I replied and smiled at her when she walked past me.

I gently opened the door and stepped out of prison, the sky was gray, and I was grateful I was smart enough to put my jacket on. It was still cold in the mornings before the sun would set up high in the sky. I crossed the yard and field waving at Merle, who was still on watch. The man spotted me and leaned on the railing.

"Where ya goin'?" He asked me, and I placed my hands on my hips, tilting my head to see him better.

"Someone got to check the traps. And we saw some tracks yesterday, maybe I'll catch us some deer." Merle got out of the tower and moved towards the gate, ready to open it up for me.

"And how ya gonna bring it 'ere, sweetcheeks?"

"I'm stronger than I look, Hook. I'll see you later." I took my machete out, ready to slice at the three walkers that lingered around the gate, so I could disappear in the woods.

"Ya better. Daryl will kill if ya end up dead, Doll!" He shouted after me, but I was already focused on the geeks in front of me. I slashed at the head of the first one when I heard the gate behind me close.

I pulled the blade out of the walker's head and turned, swinging the machete into the second one. I was ready to take down the third one, who was slowly making its way to me, but it collapsed to the ground before I could. I twisted, looking up, and Merle saluted at me, raising the rifle up. I rolled my eyes and jogged to towards the forest, starting my hunt.

I untangled a rabbit from the snares and repositioned them. I used the string that I had around my shoulders to add the animal to the others I collected this morning. Three perky squirrels and two bunnies. Not too much, but better than nothing. Only two traps had something in them this morning, and I was slightly disappointed. But that's alright; I noticed the same tracks Merle and I saw yesterday.

I stood up and started to follow the trail, moving silently between the trees, the arrow notched loosely and bow in my grasp. Woods were quiet today, and the air was still. I could feel that it will be hot as hell once the sun sets high in the sky, and I hoped to be finished by then. I was about five miles deep into the forest, and I spotted something far ahead.

Looking around, I made a mental note of my surroundings, to remember where the tracks were and took off. Slowly creeping and raising my bow, I got to the opening between the trees. There was a small cabin, wild vines climbing the sides and covering the windows. Whoever owned it was long gone, probably years before the world went to shit.

I felt giddy; we could use it as a meeting point if something goes wrong in the prison. And for overnight hunts, that will definitely be a good spot. My feet silently walked around the cabin, but it was luckily clear. My heartbeat picked up when I strode to the door and tried the handle. I scrunched my face when it wouldn't budge and sighed heavily. I placed the bow on the small porch and took my backpack off, quickly searching through it. Grabbing a little pouch, I unzipped it taking out my lockpicking tools.

After a moment of twisting and pushing, I felt the lock giving up, and I smiled widely. I shoved picks back in the bag and swang the bow over my head. Taking out the machete, I pushed the door, hinges making loud, high-pitched noise. It was hard to see, but I didn't hear anything, and my nose didn't pick up any foul scent.

The cabin was small; there were a sofa and a table with a single chair. The kitchen was simple, with a tiny fridge and a giant industrial freezer in the corner. But what made my eyes glimmer with excitement was a big sink. I made my way to it, closing the doors after myself, making the room even darker. I fished a flashlight from the back pocket of my pants and turned it on. The sink was wide and long, there were several hooks above it, a perfect place for a hunter.

I glanced around the room, noticing the second door. I crossed the space quickly and yanked at the entrance, my blade high up, but this room was abandoned as well. There was a simple bed and a few dressers. There was a thick layer of dust everywhere, including the bathroom that was connected to the bedroom.

I dropped my bag on the sofa and took off my jacket, throwing it next to it. I pulled strings with my game and placed it on the counter. First, I'd need some more light, so I stepped outside and used my machete to cut through the vines that were covering the windows. It would be great if we would find some solar panels, not just for a prison, but also for here. Having this place to skin and gut the animals, we could use the freezer to store the meat. Or maybe we could somehow transport it back home, though it is heavy as hell.

I looked over at my work and smiled to myself, deciding to go back to my hunt. It was nearly noon, and I had to hurry up, though now, I had the option to make it overnight. I collected my weapons and closed the door, going back to where I saw the tracks last.

I was starting to get frustrated. It seemed like I was going in circles, and when I finally spotted a fresh trail, it was really confusing. When I started, I thought it's a deer, but now, in the better light, prints seemed bigger and didn't look like hoofs at all. I groaned in frustration and run a hand over my face. I wished that Daryl was here with me. He would know what I was looking at. I wasn't nearly as experienced as he is, but the prints made me nervous. But then I thought of all the people at the prison, and a sense of responsibility flashed my body.

I stood up and followed the prints once again. It took me maybe another half an hour to find what I was looking for. I froze in my steps, my heart leaped in my throat, and very slowly, I pulled down my bow. Between the trees, nibbling on a grass stood a black bear. They weren't as dangerous as other species, but nonetheless, it seemed like a terrible idea. The animal was beautiful, not affected by the world's new rules, hidden away in the forest.

Taking a deep breath, I looked over the bear and watched for a few moments. I racked my brain for the memories of how to drop it the fastest. Silently I shifted, making sure to not step on any twigs and rose my weapon again. My eyes followed the bear's left leg, and I aimed at its chest, where I knew its lungs should be. I waited a few more seconds and finally released the string, watching the arrow fly and pierce into the animal. I quickly yanked another from the quiver while the bear roared in pain. It stood upon its back legs, laud noises coming out of it made me scrunch my face.

I sent another arrow to its exposed chest, and the bear finally dropped down. In normal circumstances, I would wait, make sure it was dead before approaching. A wild animal was always dangerous, but right now, I couldn't waste any more time. Its cries could get walkers' attention, and over my dead body, they will take my game away from me.

I slowly moved to the bear, circling it around, so it couldn't hurt me with its paws. I could see its eyes glazing over, blinking few times, chest rising irregularly. I definitely hit the lungs, but it was still alive. I crouched down and run a hand through its fur, closing my eyes at bear's soft whines.

"I'm sorry," I whispered and swiftly sank my hunting knife in the back of the bear's head. Not wasting any more time, I pulled out a rope from my pack and secured it around the dead animal. Now all I had to do is to drag it to the cabin and contact the prison. There was no way I'm going to be able to get the bear back without help. It was way too far for me to drag it around.

By the time I got to the small house, I was sweating and panting heavily. I dropped the animal to the ground and checked that no one showed up when I was gone. When I was sure it was clear, I mustered the rest of my strength and pulled the bear inside. I shut the door behind me and plunged myself on a sofa, a sigh of relief escaping my lips.

I grabbed a water bottle from my pack and took a few sips, reaching for the radio in the meantime.

"Hey guys, it's Elena. Anyone copy?" I released the button and waited for a few moments before Rick's voice cracked through.

_"Everything alright?"_

"Yeah. I got a big game, but I can't get it back, too heavy. You think you could send some help?" I asked, searching my bag for the granola bar that I stashed it there earlier. I ripped the packaging and started to chew on it.

_"Sure, where are you?"_

"About five miles, north-west from the gate. I found this awsome hunting cabin."

_"OK, I'll tell Hershel, the council will send someone."_

"Thanks, I'm not going anywhere. Over and out."

I placed the walkie-talkie on the table and looked around. There's no way I would be able to skin the bear in here; there was bearly any space left on the floor as it was, with it lying on the ground. But I could start on the rabbits and squirrels.


	52. Chapter 52

**Day 310**

I was sweating my ass off. It wasn't even noon, but that didn't stop Georgia's sun from scorching down on me. I was nervous and angry as hell, and I decided that physical activity may calm me down. I was on the prison site, and my arms were burning from all the strikes I have taken in the last hour.

Last night Daryl didn't check-in, and I was going crazy. We tried to make contact, but there was no answer whatsoever. And yet, the rest of the council decided that it's too early to send the rescue team. If Michonne and Daryl won't show up or radio us, we will get some people together and go to the last known location.

I raised the ax high above my head and quickly stroke down, splitting the wood in front of me. I bent down and picked up another piece, placing it, and repeating the procedure. I wiped the sweat from my forehead and sighed heavily. I specifically told Dixon to avoid that sort of situation. First, they are supposed to be back already. Second, he fucking violated our agreement. And on the first run!

I grunted loudly and swang the ax one more time before the voice behind me startled me.

"Thought, I'll let ya know. Darlina finally radioed back. They should be back in an hour." I froze at Merle's words, mixed feelings flushing my body. First was, of course, relief. He wasn't dead, just delayed. But then a new wave of anger hit me hard, my cheeks burning, and I pressed my lips together tightly.

"He's alright?"

"Yeah, got out of rage last night, didn't realize."

I hoped that chopping firewood would help me relax, but all I gained was muscle and back pain. He didn't fucking realize that they went too far. Another thing they are not supposed to do without communicating.

"Ya not gonna say anything else?"

I swang the ax hard with a small yell of frustration and left it in the stomp. "I'm going hunting."

"What 'bout Darlina?" Merle cocked his brows when I turned around; my face was blank when I passed him.

"He's a big boy, he'll get over it."

"I'll go with ya!" Merle shouted after me, and I stopped dead in my steps, twisting slightly to see his face.

"Sure. If you got a death wish, by all means. Follow me."

Few people tried to talk to me on my way out of the prison, but I guess my famous kill face scared them off well enough. Once I entered the forest, I was in an entirely different set of mind. My focus was on not leaving any traces. The last fucking thing I needed right now was for my hillbilly to track me down. I made sure to not go straight to the cabin, trying to really make it hard for Daryl to find me.

Yeah, I had no doubt that he'd try to track me down, but I hoped to delay him for as long as possible. A small movement caught my attention, and I twisted my body, gently stepping in that direction. There was a shift again, and I aimed quickly, my eyes trained on a small animal in front of me. I released the arrow, and it struck the rabbit in the neck, making it fall to the ground immediately. Hello, dinner. I only had to pray that I wouldn't burn it.

I restarted my walk with the dead animal by my side, hitting me gently in the leg with every step, but I wasn't paying attention to that. I stepped harder on the forest's floor, walking in the opposite direction of a cabin for about half an hour before getting light on my feet again and finally making my way to my destination.

When I finally reached the small building, all my muscles were tense, and I really wanted to relax. The past few days were always the same. Waking up before sunrise, hunting then either a watch or killing walkers that gathered around the prison's fences. I needed an evening to myself, and that's exactly what I told Hershel before I stormed off. He understood, at least partially, and I was grateful for that. I didn't tell him where I went to, but Merle for sure will tell Daryl about the cabin. But hopefully, I had at least a few hours before Dixon will come in through those doors.

I had plenty of time the other day to familiarize myself with the cabin when I was waiting for Merle and Rick to help me with the bear the other day. There was a small gas canister in the kitchen under the cooker, and it was at least half full. I reached for my knife and gutted the rabbit, making sure to dispose of all unnecessary bits. I worked quickly and swiftly on removing the fur and cleaning the meat.

I found some pots in the cupboard and put them on the stove and crossed the room to my bag, opening it. I took out a rice bag that I smuggled with me, with Carol's approval, of course, and placed it on the counter. I reached to the line I set yesterday across the kitchen and grabbed some herbs and mushrooms. Some stuff I managed to find during hunting for the past few days and thought of bringing it with me in here. I never intended to use it, more like storing and then taking it back to the prison. Or maybe asking Daryl to use it if we would ever come in here for an overnight hunt.

I cut the meat and mushrooms, hoping that months of watching Carol cooking was enough to make something that won't kill me. I used some water that I left here on the first day and shoved it all into the saucepan. I twisted the nobs and smiled when it worked, small fire sparking under the metal container. I turned around and crossed the room, walking into the small bedroom.

I worked quickly on dusting the covers and blankets. I didn't plan to go back to prison, at least not until Daryl and I will have a long and earnest conversation. Which will probably end with me shouting. That man was making me completely lose my control, and for the past eleven hours, I was scared out of my mind, imaging the worst scenarios in my head.

Coming back inside the living room, I opened my pack again and took out my book and a few candles I took with me. I went back to the stove and peeked inside, stirring the stew gently. OK, now the only thing I had to do was make sure that meat is cooked and not burned. It can't be that hard, right?

I plunged myself on a sofa and opened the book "The Book of Five Rings," wondering how such a piece of literature landed in the prison's library. I read it years ago when I was still a trainee, and I felt like recently I forgot all its lessons. The best example would be me storming out of the prison. I sighed heavily and closed my eyes, trying to push those thoughts aside.

In the middle of The Book of Water, the second chapter, I stood up to check on my dinner again. When I glanced down in the pot, everything looked alright, as far as I could say, so I stirred it again. It started to look like a proper stew, and it smelled alright, with no burning scent or anything foul. I searched through the drawers around and found some cutlery. Grabbing a fork, I stabbed a piece of meat and brought it up to my face, blowing at it gently, letting it cool down. Reluctantly I bit on it, and my eyes went round. The rabbit was soft and melting in my mouth, deep taste of mushrooms soaked into it, making it actually taste good. I will have to take some back with me and give it to Carol. Otherwise, she won't ever believe me that I cooked something eatable.

Nodding to myself, I turned off the stove, grabbed some bowl, scooped some food into it, and made my way back to the couch. Now that the stove was off, there was no noise around me except for my chewing and page being turned. That's why it was easy for me to pick up on a soft creek that came from the porch. I dropped the book next to me on a sofa and shifted my food to the other hand while my right unclipped the holster. Pulling out the Glock silently, I aimed it at the door and waited for whoever was there to make themselves know.

I knew it wasn't a walker, there usually weren't trying to be quiet, and the person on the other side of the door tried very hard. My eyes stayed focused on the entrance, and I watched the doorknob turn slowly. I placed the bowl on my lap and turned off my gun's safety, loading the bullet into the chamber.

When the door went flying towards the wall, the first thing I saw was a crossbow, and a bolt pointed in my direction. Then I noticed shaggy brown hair and dirty hands holding tightly to the weapon. Looks like the hunter didn't waste any time tracking me. I cocked my eyebrow at Daryl and lowered my gun, putting the safety back on and stashing it back into the holster. I could see the hunter's jaw clenching and a vein in his neck pulsing rapidly, but I ignored it. Going back to the food and my book, I propped my legs on a small coffee table in front of me.

"There's stew on a stove if you're hungry. And close the door, I don't need walkers in here," I said coldly, controlling the emotions that suddenly stirred inside me. Sure, I was still fucking angry, because he scared me almost to death with his lack of contact last night. The council pissed me off because they didn't let me follow him. But right now, my heart wanted Daryl and his strong, dirty arms wrapped around me. I wanted to bury my face in his neck and kiss him senseless, but I will be damned if I let those feelings win. He had to realize that scaring me like that, acting recklessly like he did have consequences.

Daryl shut the door, and I heard his quiet footsteps when he crossed the small room, and I glanced up from under my lashes at his broad back. The winged vest was in place, and he again wore one of his famous sleeveless shirts. I hated the type of pants he was always wearing; they weren't tight enough, and I couldn't see the curve of his ass properly.

I averted my eyes immediately when I saw him turn and pretended that I was really into my book. Usually, I would be, but right now, Daryl was more interesting than anything else in this cabin.

"Ya cooked?" His gruff voice sent shivers down my spine, and I sat straighter, trying to hide how my body was reacting to him.

"Yep."

"Um-- I ain't hungry."

I lifted my face and glared at him, pressing my lips together. "You stay, you eat. Otherwise, fuck off and close the door when you leave."

"We ain't stayin' here, woman! Why the hell did ya leave?" Daryl moved closer to where I was sitting, and I groaned lowly.

"Well, maybe I just wanted a little space." I dropped the book back onto the sofa and placed the bowl on a table. "Or maybe I wanted to hunt." Slowly I stood up and faced him, anger boiling in me once again, my voice rising with every word I spoke. "Or perhaps I didn't want to yell at your stupid ass in front of the others!"

"Oh, here we go!" Daryl tilted his head and crossed his arms. That's when I noticed his crossbow was propped by the door, not in his hands anymore.

"Yeah, here we go! Do you have any idea how fucking worried I was?" I shouted at him, propping my hands on my hips.

"I'm fine, so's Michonne. Ya gettin' pissed over nothin'."

"Nothing?" I hissed and stepped closer to him, my eyes burning into his. "I get why you two felt the need to go and search for that prick. But there were rules you were supposed to obey. You both agreed to them. And then on the very first search, you just fucking go and pull that shit?"

"Look, the second we realized we turned fuckin' around. Ain't a big deal." Daryl shrugged his shoulders again, and I turned around from him, running a hand over my face.

"Not a big deal?" My voice was shaking a bit, and it lacked power. "For the past twenty hours, I was terrified, not knowing what happened to you."

"Just how I felt when ya and Merle went after Governor!" Now it was Daryl who rose his voice, and I spun around, swinging at his chest, but he saw it coming. Daryl grabbed my wrist and twisted it, pushing it behind me, pulling me closer to his warm body.

"It's not the same! You knew fucking exactly where I was. Me? I knew jack shit, Daryl! For all I knew, you layed dead, miles fucking away to never be found again!"

"I ain't dead, woman!"

"Yeah, and you coming here like nothing fucking happened!"

"What ya want, woman?" Daryl groaned at me, his eyes scanning my face carefully.

"Well, an apology would be fucking nice!" I snarled in his face, and finally, he had the audacity to look somehow guilty. Daryl let go of my wrist and stepped back, running a hand over his hair.

"I'm sorry, El. We had a trail and wanted to follow it immediately." There was a softer note to his voice, and I smacked my lips.

"And?"

"And it wasn't fuckin' him. The moment I realized us out of range, we turned around. And then we came back, and Merle said ya went for a hunt after ya found out we were comin' back."

"Yeah, it was either that or punching you square in your face straight away," I mumbled and glanced down at my worn-out shoes, all need to fight with him suddenly disappearing.

"Missed ya," Daryl whispered, and I chuckled softly, glancing up at his face. He was chewing on his lower lip and looked really unsure of himself. I sighed and wrapped my arms around his neck, staring into his blue eyes.

"Don't do it again," There was a plea in my voice, and his face softened, Daryl's arms wrapping around my waist.

"Will try." I smiled at him and climbed on my tiptoes, pressing my lips to his. Daryl responded immediately, tightening his hold on me and tilting his head, deepening the kiss. My eyes fluttered shut, and I enjoyed his warm mouth on me, Daryl's tongue darting out and pulling a moan from my throat when it licked over my bottom lip. I allowed him the access and opened my mouth, tangling my fingers in his hair. They were getting longer, covering his ears, and by how he was responding, he enjoyed it when I pulled at them.

I bit his lower lip gently and pulled away, smirking at the man in front of me. Daryl's blue eyes were clouded with lust, and I felt my stomach flip at that sight. He was so handsome, not even realizing it himself. I pushed him away gently and grabbed his hand in mine. Slowly I turned and started walking towards the door in the far right corner, leading Daryl to the small bedroom.

When I pushed the door open, I glanced over my shoulder to see him staring at my ass, and I smirked once again.

"See something you like?" I asked him in a low voice, his eyes snapping up to my face. His face flushed red, and I laughed gently, dropping his hand once we stood by the bed. His gaze made me more confident, and I pushed his shoulders, making Daryl fall onto the soft mattress.

"Now be a good boy, and sit still," I said while slowly removing my shirt, never breaking eye contact. All will to fight was gone, now I just needed to feel him against my skin, and this time it's going to be on my terms.

**Day 311**

Convincing Daryl to stay one more day to go with us to the most giant nursery in the area wasn't that hard; the issue was Michonne. It took Rick and me at least an hour, but luckily she agreed, as long as she could leave once it's done.

I wasn't sure how I felt about this run. It was a long time since we had such a big group, and as much as I was hopeful, I was also anxious that something will go terribly wrong. The more people, the bigger chances of walkers spotting us, and it's harder to keep an eye on everyone. Daryl and I led the way on his bike, with Rick and Michonne behind us in our pick-up. The rest of the convoy included two of the trucks we took from Woodbury. One was driven by Merle, Oscar, and Sasha, and the other had Glenn, Maggie, and Tyreese. We wanted to see what Williams siblings could do, and we definitely could use the fact that Tyreese was a big man.

I never was in a place like that, always living in an apartment in the city. And even after inheriting my parents' house in Palmetto, I wasn't a homie type.

Glenn gave each of us a list with stuff to find, vegetable seeds, tools, fertilizer, etc. But first, we had to secure the area, check for any dangers in the form of other humans, and get rid of the walkers.

That's why Daryl, Merle, and I were silently walking towards the back. We managed to clear the few stranglers that lingered at the front of the store, but we had to be sure we won't get surprised. I had my bow ready to release an arrow at any moment, but we realized we won't have to. Not right now, that is.

The big building was split in two, interior, and fucking huge garden where I assumed they kept the majority of grown-up plants. But it was surrounded by a big brick wall, so basically we could see shit.

We quickly made our way around it, back to the front of the store, where the rest of us was waiting. Glenn was looking at us expectantly, but I just shook my head.

"Big ass fence, ain't seen shit," Merle was the first to report, and I rolled my eyes at his gruffiness.

"But we could hear some growls, so we can expect at least few walkers in there," I added, and Glenn nodded.

"Alright. We clear the place first and then get to grab what we need. No one goes alone. Daryl, Elena, you go in first, try to get to the outdoor doors, make sure we are not gonna get jumped," Asian man was telling us his plan, and once again, I admired his strategy skills. "Rick, Michonne, you two take a right. Merle, Tyreese, and I will take a left. The rest of you will cover our backs."

I was surprised that he would take older Dixon with him, but then I realized it was because he didn't trust him enough. Same reason Maggie wasn't going with them. I hummed in approval and caught blue eyes that were staring at me. Merle's face was blank, except his customary smirk, but I saw in his orbs that he came to the same conclusion. Don't fuck it up, Dixon.

"Let's do it."

Daryl walked towards the entrance and tried the knob, which gave in under his firm grip. It was hard to see what's inside, with windows covered in thick dust, but Glenn didn't mention any movements, so we had to just push forward. I rose my bow, arrow notched, and ready to pierce at the potential threat waiting inside. I could feel the adrenaline rise within me, my heart beating faster when I stepped inside next to Daryl. My eyes were snapping around when they landed on a moving shape in front of us. I whistled lowly, catching its attention.

Definitely a walker, with missing half of its face turned towards us, but before he could take one step, my arrow penetrated through its forehead. The body tumbled to the ground, and I followed Daryl, hearing others' footsteps right behind us. The hunter led me forward, to where the garden opening should be, and I realized that this place was way bigger than I initially thought. There were rows upon rows filled with flowers, or what's left of them. Once probably beautiful and scented plants now were baren, dead from lack of care, leaves, and petals covered the floor and shelves.

There was a movement to our right, and a growl sounded way too close to me. I shifted just in time to hold out my arms, that were still clinging to the bow when a walker lunged at me. It used to be a big dude, and his weight sent me backward, barely being able to stay standing. I grunted and regained my composure, digging one foot hard to the floor and using the other to kick at the walker, making it fall to the ground. In a swift motion, I stretched the string of my bow and sent an arrow to its head, hearing the wood crack. I cringed at that, kicking myself for wasting my arrows like that, but it was the quickest way to do it without getting hurt.

I panted heavily and turned around back to Daryl, who had his back turned to the big sliding doors, his eyes observing me and his crossbow ready to fire. I nodded sharply, letting him know I was fine, and he grunted, turning around. The entrance doors were the automatic type, so we will have to use some muscles to open it up, but it also meant that for now, we were safe from the outside threat. I slowly moved forward, trying to see what's on the other side, but yells from the left stopped me.

Exchanging a worried look with Daryl, I took off towards the sound. My heart started beating faster in my chest, and a tight knot formed in my belly from anxiety. When we rounded the corner, I quickly noticed Tyreese stabbing a walker in the head, while Merle was pushing the other out of Glenn. The older Dixon was panting heavily, and his makeshift hand knife was covered in dark blood. He stretched his left hand out towards Glenn and waited for the young man to accept his help.

I stepped closer to Daryl, watching the scene in front of me, feeling a completely different type of nervousness. It was a critical moment, everyone could feel it, and I breathed out heavily when Glenn finally propped himself on his elbows and glanced up at Merle. Giving Dixon a sharp nod, he grabbed his forearm and was yanked up to his feet.

"All good?" I asked quietly, and they looked at us. Merle smirked in my way, but his eyes were still guarded.

"Don't worry, none, Doll. We got jumped, but got it under control."

I hummed in reply and looked around, to see if there are any other walkers about, when Maggie came running, her hands wrapping around Glenn.

"What happened?" She asked, worry in her voice evident.

"Nothing. I haven't seen the last one and wasn't ready. Merle helped me out," Glenn's voice was low, and his eyes were watching Dixon carefully, unsure.

"It didn't get you, right?"

"No. I'm fine. It's fine."

I walked away, gesturing for the Dixon brothers to move with me, and together we went to check in on Rick and Michonne. They were already walking towards us, and I smiled at them.

"Seems clear," Rick commented, and I hummed in agreement.

"We didn't go outside, but we can first grab all we need from here and see what we're missing," I answered, and that's precisely what we did.

The men moved heavy bags of dirt and fertilizer onto one of the tracks while Maggie and I searched for the seeds. We left Sasha outside with a rifle, to be our lookout. We worked quickly and quietly, but I could see how tense the woman next to me was. Going on a run with someone you care about is always challenging, constant worry over them, and I knew that's how she felt. Glenn had a close call, and she probably was beating herself for not being near when it happened.

I kept searching through the shelves that contained small packages with seeds, shoving everything I deemed useful into the pack. Hopefully, Hershel will know what to do with it; I don't think lots of us had any farming experience.

Noice from the garden doors made me twist in that direction, and breath hitched in my throat. There were at least a dozen walkers pressed to the glass, clawing at the barrier that separated them from us. If that gives up, we going to be in trouble, no doubt.

"Go get others, Mags," I whispered, taking the bow of my back and reaching out for an arrow. Walkers were pressing and banging at the door, and even though it was strong, I wasn't sure how much time we had before it gave in. We had to get rid of them anyway, but I didn't want to be here alone when that happens.

"El, ya good?" The rest of our run group show up, their weapons up and ready while I kept watching the shuffling moves of the dead.

"We need to deal with them before they jump on us," I explained, and they all agreed.

"Got a plan, sweetcheeks?" I arched my brow at the older Dixon and nodded.

"Sure, Hook. You pop the door, Daryl and I take as many with bows. Rick, Oscar, and Michonne take the ones we miss, and the rest will come in when they got swamped."

"What 'bout noise?"

I took out my Glock, and he saw that it had a suppressor attached to it. I passed the gun to Merle, and he smirked widely, taking it from me.

"Come on, it's not like we didn't do it before," Rick added and moved to the position.

I stood to the right, in a way that others weren't in my line of sight, and took a stand. With my legs spread and torso twisted slightly, I stretched the string and waited for the wave of walkers.

"Go for it, Merle," I spoke loudly, and he fired at the glass double-doors. His aim was right, even though I knew he wasn't left-handed before. Bullet hit the glass and went straight through it into the head of the first geek.

Doors shuttered, and suddenly all the walkers that were pressed to it fell forward towards us. I released the string, shooting immediately, reaching for the next arrow, and notching it in place.

It was over in a few minutes, and we waited for a moment, after Daryl whistled loudly, to see if any more will show up. Luckily it was clear, and we all went back to scavenging the gardening center.

It was a warm evening, and all of our group sat down on the benches around the small fire in the inner courtyard. There were also few people from the Woodbury group, including one woman - Diane, whom I tried very hard not to kill right now. I was sitting on one of the logs, chewing slowly on a piece of meat, which I brought back with me yesterday. My eyes followed the red-haired woman. She was getting on my last nerves, I didn't really notice her in the past few days, but since Daryl came back, I saw that she was following him when she could.

Diane was always thanking the hunter for bringing food back, even though since we got those people here, it was Merle and I doing the hunting. And just now, she stood way too close to Daryl, her top showing off cleavage, and she was fucking playing with her hair. I knew, deep down, that I had nothing to worry about. Daryl wasn't that kind of guy, and he looked super uncomfortable with how close the woman was standing. But my stupid heart was screaming at me to do something, right now.

"What we got here?" Carol's voice sounded on my right, but I wasn't interested in her at the moment. But she wasn't alone.

"Seems like Doll here is killin' with 'er eyes," Merle commented from my left, and I gritted my teeth, a low growl coming out of my mouth.

"Yeah, I can see that. She got her killer face on."

"Hm, saw it before. Now it makes sense. Should we restrain her?"

"I'm not into freaky bondage, Hook. Especially not with you," I stated coldly, not moving my graze from Diane. She laughed now at something that Daryl said, the man averted his eyes to the floor, and in the small light we had, I could see his face turning red. He's not even that funny, I mean yeah, sure I do find him hilarious, but because of his sarcasm. I doubt she's got enough cells in her brain to comprehend it.

"It's gettin' worse."

"Eli, you need to calm down. They're part of our group now, you can't kill her," Carol spoke in a soft voice, her hand landing gently on my shoulder. I glanced to the side at the gray-haired woman and clenched my jaw.

"Yeah, but I can dream about it."

"Just go in there, sugar. Show her Darlina's yours."

"I doubt he'd appreciate that. He doesn't like PDA or anything like that," I said lowly, watching Daryl shift in his spot, trying to put some distance between him and the woman.

"Nah. He'd think it's hot."

I ran my tongue over my teeth and took a deep breath before stretching my hand towards Carol, a silent plead to hold my plate. She obliged quickly, and I stood up, wiping my hands on the soft fabric of my pants. Right, showtime.

I put a sweet smile on my lips and crossed the courtyard, towards Daryl and Diane, swaying my hips a little. I could see the moment when the hunter noticed me. His eyes rose up, above the woman's shoulder, and there was some kind of spark in them. His body language changed; he stood straighter and puffed out his chest, making me smile wider at him.

I circled the fire pit and stopped next to Daryl, glancing at the woman next to him. Her face scrunched, and her eyes raked over me as if checking the competition.

"Um, we're taking here," Her voice was high-pitched, slightly irritating, and I was wondering how Daryl managed to listen to her yapping for so long.

"Yes, I noticed. Sorry to bump in, but I have to talk to my boyfriend about his run tomorrow," I didn't change my expression, still smiling softly at her, my voice steady and way calmer than I felt inside.

Her eyes went wide for a moment, bouncing between Daryl and Diane stepped back a little.

"Yeah, sure. I need to catch up with Greg."

"Yeah, you do that." I tilted my head and watched her walk away before I turn back to Daryl. "Big Boy, we need to talk about how to notice when someone flirts with you, and what's the appropriate reaction to it."

"Um-- I wasn't," He stuttered a little, looking at the ground and biting his lower lip. I cocked my eyebrow and placed my hand on his chest.

"I know you weren't. But Red there definitely is interested. And I've been told I can't kill people who live with us. So I need your cooperation. When a lady, who's not me, is throwing herself at you, playing with her hair, giggling at what you're saying - that's when you politely tell her you're taken, Dixon." His eyes snapped to mine, and I noticed his pupils dilating, his arm going to my waist, making my stomach flutter with happiness at this display.

"Is that so?"

"Yes. You're mine, and I'll be damned if another woman will touch what's mine," I growled lowly, my smile disappearing.

"Fuck, woman. Stop," Daryl's voice dropped, huskiness in it sending shivers down my spine. "I'm yurs, ain't nothin' to worry 'bout, El."


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Who's excited about tonight's finale? I'm freaking out and also wondering how the hell am I gonna watch it. We don't have AMC channel in UK so I'll have to get creative. Anyway, enjoy extra-long chapter!
> 
> Cheers :)

**Day 320**

My days recently became a routine. Wake up early as fuck, go outside either with Merle or by myself to hunt and check the snares. Come back to eat something and ensure that everything runs smoothly in prison. It usually involved a lot of walking and talking with people, asking if their jobs are done, or how much progress was made.

Axel, alongside Greg, fixed us some showers. It wasn't anything fancy, only with cold water, but it worked, and no one was complaining. We weren't able to dig into the water in the fields, but Oscar and Rick managed to install a pump next to the creek just outside of prison, so the freshwater came from there. Of course, it needed to be filtered and cooked before use to drink or cook, but it was here.

We had supplies, but with the number of people growing, we couldn't forget to go on the runs, and Glenn was doing great with that. Today, we took a small group to go to a nearby town, the same he and Maggie were kidnapped from. Without a threat from Governor, they didn't have to fear to come back there.

Sasha and Merle were working together on prison security and watch rotation. I could definitely see a change in older Dixon. He was still his old self when it came to stupid nicknames, but he wasn't trying to sleep with every woman in here, so I called it progress. I also noticed that when I was inside the prison walls, he was watching over me carefully. I had suspicions he was doing it so later he can give a report to Daryl. Stupid, I can take care of myself, and everyone here knows that.

Tyreese was in charge of fences, and he was doing great; we didn't have a lot of people to spare, but whoever was able to hold a pipe or a crowbar was assigned to help with it few hours a day. I knew for a fact that Karen was usually one to volunteer, especially if the man was working there as well. There was something in the air there, and it made me smile, to watch their secret glances and touches. Made me wonder if that's how it looked like for my group when they looked Daryl and me during winter.

Carol and other women from Woodbury helped with laundry or cooking, but it was evident that Carol was in charge.

Hershel became our doctor, and everyone was coming to him with back complaints, coughs, and sniffles. He also was teaching Rick farming. We used the things we brought back with us from the garden center, utilized part of the field, and Rick will be planting some vegetables this week. We will have to build some sort of greenhouse for the winter, to not lose all of that, but that's a worry for another week.

Rick himself was still lost and only recently allowed himself to grief properly, and I could see that not being in charge definitely helped that. But another issue was Carl. A sweet, innocent kid that was becoming colder the longer he has to live in this world. I remember that it was something Lori was afraid of, that her son deserved more.

And now was the time to work on it. I sat down in the library, where the council usually meets, and the place that somehow became my office. Rick mentioned that he wanted to speak to me privately, so I offered to meet him here, away from prying eyes and ears. I usually tried to avoid moments like this. Where I was all alone, away from the noises of people busing themselves and from constant growls of walkers. Because when I was alone, I remembered that Daryl is not around, and I missed him too fucking much.

He and Michonne went out for the third time yesterday. Showed us plans where to check next, and even though everyone was worried about their absence, they always brought things back. Gas, some food, and other supplies they found on their journey. But I didn't care about that. Right, I did, but I would prefer to have the hunter here with me. I missed his constant presence and his words of wisdom.

My hand traced up to my neck, and my fingers played with cold metal that hung around my neck. Memories of the pendant and that cold winter evening always brought a smile to my face. Daryl was so awkward when he gave it to me, and so unsure of himself and about my reaction.

"Elena?" Rick's voice pulled me out of my thoughts, and my head snapped to the door where the sheriff stood. Behind him, I noticed Carl, who didn't look happy about being here. The boy had his hat on, and he was glaring at the floor, not making eye contact. I dropped the pendant, making it hung in the spot between my breasts, and sent a small smile towards the men.

"Hi, guys. So what can I do for you?"

Rick placed a hand on Carl's shoulder and urged him to take a seat opposite me. The sheriff followed, and both of them sat in front of me while I waited for some kind of explanation. I mean, I suspected what all that was going to be about, and even if I wasn't happy about it, I would try to do my best to help them.

"I thought it's time that we spoke to someone. About-- um, everything," Rick explained, side glancing at his son, who just snorted under his nose and folded his arms on his chest.

"I see. And you, Carl? What you think about it?" I asked the boy who glared at me and didn't answer. I had serious doubts that he will say anything in front of his father, mainly because a lot of his anger was towards him.

"Alrighty. The first thing both of you need to know is that it will take time, it always does. But for now, I'd like to speak to Carl. Rick, you think you could leave us alone?" I looked at the sheriff, and he hesitated for a moment before nodding and standing up.

"I'll be with Hershel outside if you need me."

After Rick left, we sat down in silence for a good five minutes before Carl finally looked at me, his face tense and body language still closed off.

"So what? We just gonna sit here?"

"It's up to you," I answered softly with a gentle smile. "We can be quiet, just relax. Or we could talk. Whatever you going to say won't leave this room."

"You mean, you won't tell my dad?" Carl looked surprised and shifted in his chair. I nodded and wetted my dry lips.

"That's exactly what I mean. I know that somethings wrong between you two, but I won't make you talk to him. Not unless you ready. And if you rather keep our conversation just between us, I'll respect your wishes."

"He didn't kill them! Andrew and then Governor! He had so many opportunities, and he didn't take them. He's just a coward," Carl finally spoke in a heated manner with his jaw clenched. "And then, instead of finishing it, he went around and brought back all these people, like they weren't enemy!"

"And what would you do?" I asked him quietly, and his eyes met mine, a fire in them nearly made me sit back, but I fought the urge.

"I'd kill them before they had a chance to hurt us!"

"And what would it change?"

"Everything!" Carl yelled at me and stood up, pacing the room. "We wouldn't suffer for so long. You and Axel wouldn't get shot. Mom-- mom would still be alive."

The last sentence was quiet, and he lowered his head, his shoulder shaking gently.

"Long time ago, on a farm, I promised you that I won't lie to you," I started, and swallowed harshly. "Your dad took heavy baggage on himself when he decided to lead us. There were moments when I disagreed with him, and you know that. But those two instances you talking about? I don't think they would change a lot."

"You don't know that!"

"No, and neither do you, Carl. You're right. Your dad had the opportunity to finish Governor, so did I. But there was a chance that his people would still attack us for revenge. And with your mom-- Lori knew all along that she would most definitely need a C-section, just like she did with you."

"But, we would have Hershel!" Carl argued, and I knitted my brows, looking sadly at the young boy in front of me.

"Yeah. And in the old world, it wouldn't be such a big thing. We would have machines, blood transfusions, anesthesia. Carl, sweety. I know it's harsh, but if she would still need a C-section, even if Andrew would be dead, there wouldn't be anything we could do. Truth is we weren't prepared for it."

Soft sobs were coming out of Carl's mouth, and his body was shaking, so I stood up and pulled him to my chest to hug him. He was fighting it for a few seconds, before burying his face in my shoulder and crying openly. I think it was the first time he allowed himself to do it since Lori's death. I led him to the chair and sat him down, crouching in front of him.

"Carl, your mom is gone, but it's not your fault or your dad's. She was so very proud of you, and she'll always be with you, in your heart, in your memories and stories you going to tell Judith one day. We live in a dangerous world, and sometimes we have to make tough decisions in order to survive. But the reason your dad brought you here is your anger and lack of judgment."

Carl glanced up at me. He had a hiccup from all the crying he did, his eyes showed utter sadness, and my heart clenched at this sight.

"That boy?"

I nodded and tilted my head. "Yeah. You're strong and brave and capable, and nobody doubts it. But when you found yourself in that situation, you have to know to judge it properly. That kid was alone and scared. You outnumbered him, and he was putting his gun down, you didn't have to kill him."

"I just-- I didn't want to regret not doing it. I didn't want it to come back and hunt us, like with Andrew."

"I know, kiddo. But it wasn't the same. He was just a bit older than you, manipulated by Governor, probably never was in a situation like this before. Comparing to Andrew, he was harmless. And you killed him." I knew that my words were harsh, but Carl needed to hear them. His eyes went round as if he realized what he truly did for the very first time.

"I-- I killed him."

"Yes. And it will stay with you forever. But there's nothing you can do to change it now except to learn from it. Learn to use your instinct when it's essential and when to trust your gut. You don't have to prove anything to anyone."

"Is that's why dad took away my gun?" Carl asked, looking lost with his eyes down, watching his fingers.

"Yes."

"How do I do it?"

I sighed heavily and tilted his chin up to look into the boy's eyes. "With time. First, you have to let the anger go. When you're angry, you don't think straight. I got something for you."

I stood up and crossed the room towards my desk. Reaching inside one of the drawers, I took out the book I was reading when Daryl found me in the woods. I thought about it for a second but eventually decided that Carl should read it. I passed the volume to him, and he glanced at me, his eyes full of questions.

"Read it, and when you do, we'll talk again, OK?" Carl took the book in his hands and read over the title, nodding softly. He still has a long way to go, but he had people who love him, and with all of us, he will pull out of this.

**Day 331**

I couldn't wait to get out of this car and do something. I had a bad feeling crawling under my skin, and I couldn't shake it or place it. Merle was chatting shit next to me from the driver's side, but I was ignoring him. In the past week, Glenn was organizing runs to the nearby farms, but all of them were a bust except for some basic supplies. Now we were going further away towards Albany, and something about this was making me nervous.

"Ya thinkin' too laud," Merle said from next to me, and I couldn't stop the laugh that rumbled in my chest.

"You're just like Daryl; he always knows when I'm too deep in my thoughts," I commented and noticed a smile that tugged at the man's face.

"What's wrong, Sugartits?"

"Don't know. Just got that weird feeling like somethings going to happen."

"Ya just were stuck too long behind the fences, Doll."

"Yeah, probably." I glanced out the window, watching the trees while we passed them.

"Ya miss him," Merle commented, making me snap my head back to him.

"Of course I do. We were stuck together for over ten months, and suddenly he goes off by himself."

"Yeah, sure. And ya ain't miss his hot body all over ya?"

"Shut up, Dixon." I rolled my eyes and slapped his arm gently.

"Ya know, if mah lil' brother can't give ya what ya need, I'll be happy to help."

"Keep dreaming. I know you'd never betray Daryl like that, dickhead."

Luckily, the car in front of us turned onto a small road and stopped, indicating we reached our destination. Glenn, Rick, and Maggie were with us, but I was, of course paired up with Dixon. Merle was behaving himself, but that didn't change the fact that no one liked him going without Daryl or me. There still were people who didn't feel comfortable around him, mainly Maggie and her younger sister.

I jumped out of the car as soon as Merle stopped the engine, and I jogged forward to the others. Glenn gestured at me and pointed towards the barn, and I nodded, raising my bow. I crept towards the structure and quickly circled it, meeting Merle at the entrance.

"Clear," I whispered, and he gestured to the door. I banged on it, and we waited for a few moments to see if there are any noises. I pushed the door, letting Merle go first, his hand-knife ready to stroke. The barn was empty, there were no walkers, no animals, but it looked way too fresh. Merle glanced back at me, and his jaw set, the muscle just below it pulsing slowly, showing me that he had similar thoughts.

We went back to the cars were others were waiting, and I glanced back at the small farmhouse. It was smaller than Hershel's, so we will be fine to swap through it. Rick took his machete out and his Colt, jogging towards the house. My stomach clenched a little, but I shoved it aside and went after him. The sheriff glanced through the windows and shook his head. My body tensed and got ready for what's next while Rick stepped back and kicked the door open. I rushed inside first, suddenly thinking that it's the first time, Daryl was usually the leading man. My eyes scanned over the small area in front of me, and I rounded the corner, fletching of my arrow tickling my cheek softly. We checked that floor quickly, and there was some dust on the furniture in the living and dining room. But in the kitchen, there were signs that someone was in here not that long ago.

I led the others to the stairs and waited at the bottom, tilting my head to see if I can spot anything, but there was no movement. I kept taking shallow breaths, trying to not make any sudden movements. Slowly I climbed wooden stairs, cringing a little when they made a noise under my boot, even though I tried to be as quiet as possible. I glanced over my shoulder and pointed to the dodgy step, making sure that Rick and Merle won't step on it. With their weight, it would alarm anything that was potentially upstairs.

I moved again, finally stepping onto the landing, there were only three doors in here, and I moved silently to the last one. When I was sure that the men were securing the other rooms, I turned the handle and pushed the door, stretching the string of my bow again. The room was empty, just like the rest of the house, but it seemed too good to be the truth.

"Clear," Rick's voice echoed in the house, and Merle quickly shouted as well, confirming that there was no one in the farmhouse except us.

"Clear," I added and crossed the room to the dresser, propping my bow next to me. Opening the first drawer, I searched through it, finding some old, but fresh clothes. That's always will come handy.

"Eli, you OK?" Maggie came to the room, and I hummed in reply.

"Yeah, just want to check what we can get with us."

"Glenn found some stuff downstairs, and Rick wants to see if they are any animals in the field."

"Alrighty, I'll be there in a second. We could use some fresh clothes, right?"

"Don't wait too long," Maggie commented and left the room, her footsteps indicating that she went back downstairs.

I checked other drawers and chucked all things we could use onto the bed, glancing around the room for anything I could use to pack it in. Noticing the door on the right, I grabbed my hunting knife and slowly approached it. My heartbeat picked up again, and I reached out for the knob. Before I could open it, the door yanked open, and a man launched himself at me.

Grabbing my wrist in his big hand, he twisted it behind my back and pressed his thumb between my tenders, making me drop my blade. The fight or flight kicked it instantly, and I rose my knee into his groin. The man groaned in pain, but his grip didn't falter, and he punched me in the face making me see spots dancing under my eyelids.

He was huge, towering over me like a giant, with broad shoulders. But he was visibly starved, his face hollow and covered by a black beard that could use a trim. Funny how your mind works during an adrenaline rush, but I definitely was fighting a fucking Viking right now.

"Now, sweetheart. We don't want your friends to come running in here, do we?" He gruffed in my ear and shoved me towards the bed. Using the momentum, I rolled over and tried to kick at him again, but he was a strong man, had almost foot over me, and at least a hundred pounds. One of his hands went to my throat, and the other squeezed my breast harshly, making me yelp in pain. His massive body was on me, and I claw at him, digging my nails into his forearm. I could feel the pressure on my neck tightened, and I started to feel panic. How the fuck did I get myself in that position? Again!

The man shoved his hips into mine, and I cried out again; I would rather fucking die than let him rape me with my family downstairs, unaware. I wrapped one of my legs on his waist and propped the other on the bed. I swang my hand and scratched his face, making him groan in pain and got him distracted enough to shove my hips up and to the side. I pushed him off me to the ground and quickly followed, swinging my fist at his face. I could hear the crack, and my wrist felt like I was stabbed, but I yelled in anger and used my elbow to dive it into his solar plex.

"Fucking bitch," He hissed and grabbed my braid, shoving me to the side. He used my hair to smash my face onto the wall, and I could feel instant nausea, blood dripping down my face. I reached for the rains and get a hold of one of my knives while he yanked me back, shoving me back to the bed. "I'll kill you."

I had trouble focusing, with dizziness and blood pooling from my mouth and nose, but I felt him above me. Taking a chance, I swang the blade, and I felt it dig deep into something soft. The man cried out from pain until his heavyweight dropped on me. I twisted again and pushed him off me, his breathing was raspy, and his eyes were round, staring at me like he couldn't believe what was happening. Blood was oozing out of the wound in his neck, and I grinned at that. I grabbed the knife and yanked it out, red liquid splattering all around me.

"No, I'll kill you," My voice was raspy and unrecognizable. I kneeled in front of him and stabbed him in the temple, watching the man go limp. It took me a moment to realize that it was over, and I felt a stirring in my belly when I stood up. A wave of nausea hit me hard, and I bend over, emptying the content of my stomach onto the floor. I had trouble breathing, and my neck was sore, while blood was still dripping slowly down my face, mixing with the vomit on the once cream carpet. My knees gave up, and a soft sob escaped my mouth when I realized how close I was again to being raped and killed, just under the nose of my group.

Using the dresser, I slowly stood up, fighting the dizziness, and slowly started to cross the room towards the hall. I grabbed my bow, barely being able to hold it, finally realizing that I probably broke my wrist. It hurt like hell, and I couldn't move it properly. Walking was hard, but the others seemed to leave the house, so I had to push through the pain and get downstairs.

When I finally stumbled through the main door, I could barely make out silhouettes off Glenn and Maggie, far in the field. I tried to yell at them, but it was merely a whisper, my throat burning, every time I tried to speak.

"Eli! Come, we found pigs!" Maggie shouted when she noticed me, but it was getting harder to stay awake, my knees buckling under me, and I fell to the hard wooden floor, heaving and gagging violently. "Eli!"

I closed my eyes and breathed heavily while my ears caught the sound of footsteps running in my direction. I tensed up and tried my hardest to stand up, but it was futile.

"Fuckin' hell, Doll! What the hell happened?" Merle's gruff voice sounded right next to me, and soft hands gripped my shoulders.

"Elena!"

"Guy-- upstairs," I rasped out, throwing the arm behind me, pointing at the house. A low growl sounded next to me, and it took me longer than usual that it was coming out of Dixon. "Dee-- dead."

"What happened?" Rick asked, and I pried my eyes open, Maggie's gentle grip pushing me onto my ass to sit down.

"Hid in the closet," My voice wasn't louder than a whisper, and even then, my throat hurt like hell.

"We need to go," The sheriff ordered, and I shook my head, trying to stand up, but Maggie held me tight.

"Pigs-- we need 'em."

"Fuck," Rick cursed, and I saw him pace in front of me. "Merle, get her to the truck. We gonna get the pigs."

I was about to argue that I can walk by myself, but it was the biggest lie of a month. Merle huffed for a second, but I felt his arm wrap around me, and his knife-hand went under my knees.

"You cut me, I'm gonna kill you," I gasped out, attempting a joke, but it sounded pathetic even in my ears. My head was pounding, and I instantly felt dizzy when Dixon lifted me up.

"Shut up, Sugar. What hurts?" His voice was surprisingly gentle, and I glanced up, looking over his face. Or trying to. The swelling on my face was growing, and it was hard to see through my left eye.

"Um-- face, nose. Neck. I got a concussion," I wheezed out, leaning my head on Merle's shoulder. At this moment, I missed his younger brother and his embrace, but older Dixon would have to do.

"Shit, sweetcheeks. Darlina will have a fit."

"Ya think?" I felt his chest rumble with a chuckle at my attempt of his southern accent. I suddenly got really tired, and all the strength left me.

"Here, ya go." Merle stopped next to the truck we came in with, and I reached out, pulling the door handle, opening it up. I moaned lowly when a sudden change in position made my head spin. "Sorry."

Dixon placed me on a front seat, and when he shut the door, I leaned my head on a cold window. It helped to soothe the throb a little, but I knew I will be miserable for a couple next days. I just really fucking hoped that Daryl won't come back soon. The last thing I needed was him worrying over me and turning onto overprotective hillbilly.

**Day 333**

"I really don't understand all that fuss. I'm fine," My voice was still hoarse when I was speaking, so for the past two days, I tried to avoid it. But now, with the new guy in my cell, while I was just in my underwear and tank top, I had to object.

"Elena, your injuries were serious, and I have to make sure you don't have a subdural hematoma," The man, Caleb, answered, shinning a small torch in my eyes. Merle was standing like a statue in the doors of my cell and watching our newcomer like a hawk.

Yesterday Glenn took few people on the run, and except supplies, they brought back a new doctor. A real doctor, no less. And the first thing he did was to check that people in prison are healthy. We found out that Axel's wound was healing correctly, and soon he will be able to go out with us on the runs, something he apparently really wanted to do. After all, he was stuck in this prison for a long time.

"Look, doc. I have a concussion, I admit. And I get that my windpipe was bruised and I have a sprained wrist. But trust me, I don't have bleeding in my brain!"

"Let me be the judge of that."

I sighed heavily and leaned back on the pillows, letting Caleb check my injuries. He was gentle when he was inspecting my bruised face and neck. I looked straight ahead, making sure to not flinch or pull away at the feel of unfamiliar fingers on my skin. It took me months to get used to my group, but getting close to the new people put my body on edge again, making me tense my muscles.

"It heals good, bruises should disappear in about a week. You stopped vomiting, so that's good, but if you feel dizzy or nauseous again, let me know immediately." The doctor stood up and searched for something in his bag. Finally, he pulled out a small jar and left it on a table next to my bed. "That will help. Rub it over the bruises twice a day."

Caleb moved to get out of the cell, and I could see a spark of fear in his eyes at the sight of Merle. Older Dixon had his arms crossed over his chest and looking down on a lean doctor. I smiled softly at that. The doctor hung his head low and push past the other man, escaping like he was chased by fire. I chuckled lowly and quickly stopped when my throat started throbbing again.

"I've been talkin' to people, sugar," Merle started, not moving from his spot. I knitted my brows, wondering where it was going.

"And?"

"Ya got a bad habit of gettin' into trouble."

"Ah, yes." I averted my eyes and took a deep breath. "Yeah, especially when Daryl's gone."

"Mm, seems like. Get some rest, Doll. I gotta go." Merle turned around, and I followed his shape with my eyes.

What I learned past few weeks was that Merle was taking his responsibilities very seriously. If he said he will do something he will, he might bitch about it and use very creative vocabulary, but he would go through. And if he gave the word to his baby brother? That was like the most important thing in the world. Merle followed me closely, keeping an eye on me, mostly since I went alone to the woods when Daryl came back. Sometimes it was with my permission, and sometimes he would follow me in a safe distance, thinking that I didn't notice.

It was fucking annoying and slightly creepy, but at the same time incredibly sweet. Like I told Michonne before, under that mask of confidence and macho was a small boy who cared about others. I saw Daryl from before the farm in Merle, and I will be damned if I won't break through his shell. But I knew it won't be as easy as with Daryl. I mean fuck, the journey with younger Dixon was bumpy and long, but we became friends quickly, and as I recently found out, the attraction I felt was mutual since the beginning. But Merle was different.

While Daryl was quiet and closed off, Merle was the complete opposite. At least on the outside. Laud and chatty, flirty. But that was all cover-up for his true feelings. And I knew that the thing he wanted the most was to feel like he belongs and to see similar respect his younger brother was given. And I will make sure that others see he's worth it unless he fucks up, of course. Then I will beat the shit out of him myself.

It was late in the afternoon, and I was sitting on one of the benches outside, watching people busing around. Carol was whispering with Axel while they cooked tonight's dinner, and there was a crew of people stabbing walkers through the fence. Carl and Beth had guard duty, and every so often, I could see girl's blonde hair flair in the window.

Merle was sitting on a log not too far from me, my own guard dog, sharpening the blade attached to his stump. I thought of making a new hand for him, something better and more comfortable, with attachments, so he could change it without taking all of it off. I would have to talk to Mark about this; from what I understood, he was a bit of fixer-upper, and maybe together, we would be able to figure something out.

But for now, I enjoyed the shade and delicious smells that Carol was creating next to me. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, my stomach making flips at the idea of eating whatever she makes later in the day. I was still out of commission for almost everything, but sitting here, I allowed people to come around and speak to me about the council matters. Which is why I didn't cringe when someone sat next to me on a bench and cleared their throat. I pried my eyes open and tilted my head, staring right at Axel, who looked unsure of himself.

"Hi, Boss."

"How can I help you on this beautiful day?" I asked him, smiling widely at the man.

"You look like shit," Axel stated, glancing over my injured face, and I snorted quietly.

"Why, thank you. It's good to know, I didn't realize it."

"Sorry, Boss. I was thinking about power and what we could do to improve the prison," Axel started, a bit hesitant, so I looked over at him again.

"OK, and what would that be?"

"Solar panels. It would require a lot to power up the prison, but just a few could help us here. Charge the walkie-talkies and all that."

"Hm," I scrunched my face and thought over the idea, wondering how we could pull it over. Now, I wasn't stupid, but that wasn't exactly my area of expertise. "And where we could find any solar panels?"

"Ah. I dunno, Boss." Axel's enthusiasm deflated a little, and I patted his hand.

"I will ask. We might not be able to get people to make a run specifically for that, but while we're out there, we can keep an eye open," I told him, and he smiled back, standing up.

"I got a watch shift, see ya."

I watched him wave at Carol, who blushed slightly, and he walked away towards the gate. Hm, interesting. Maybe something was going on between those two, and if so, I was about to tease her about it.

A sudden roar of an engine made me sit straight, and my eyes snapped to the main gate. We didn't have anyone on the run right now, so that could mean only two things. Either some strangers are nearing on us, or Daryl and Michonne are coming back. And the fact that Axel rushed to the gate to open it up pointed to the latter.

"Fuck!" I mumbled under my nose and started to get up, but Merle's gruff voice made me plop back down.

"Stay, Doll. No hiddin' this time." Dixon didn't stop working on his knife, didn't even glanced up at me, but he knew exactly what I was about to do. More fuck! I reached out for the book I layed down next to me on a bench and tried to hide behind it. I made sure that my hair covered most of my neck and focused on the lines in front of my eyes.

My heart was pumping fast, and I felt my stomach drop when the car doors slammed, not that far from where I was sitting. I heard Carol giggle, and I gritted my teeth, making sure to remember it for future reference. I thought we had each other's backs, Peltier.

"What, no welcome from ya, Princess?" A giant shadow cast over me, and I shut my eyes for a second, hoping that Daryl will disappear and won't come back for few more days. I heard Merle clear his throat, and I groaned, opening my eyes again and tilting my head up. I took a big breath preparing myself for the hell that was going to unleash just in few seconds. Everything's fine, nothing happened, and he definitely won't notice.

"Hi, Big Boy. I really missed you. Did you find him?" I spoke and stood up, my eyes connecting with Daryl's blue ones. I immediately saw a change in them when they started darkening, and he pressed his lips in a tight line after hearing my gruff voice. Yay, so much for avoiding the issue.

"The fuck happen to ya?" His voice was harsh and louder than necessary, but his touch was gentle when he reached out to my yellow cheek.

"Ah, you now. The usual. Tripped on the stairs, I'm super--"

"El!" Daryl growled, interrupting my rumble, and I could see Merle raising his eyebrow at my failed attempt. I rolled my eyes and glanced back at the hunter.

"I'm fine, alright? There's no point in dwelling over it. I'm alive, and Doctor S. said I'll be fine in a week," I said sternly, folding arms across my chest. I saw Daryl narrowing his eyes, and he turned around to his older brother.

"The fuck happened, man? I told ya to keep 'er safe!"

"Hold yur horses, Darlina. That girl of yurs got a talent for gettin' in trouble," Merle defended himself while I pulled Daryl back by the back of his vest.

"Daryl, enough. How about we take it inside. You must be exhausted." I stirred fuming Dixon towards the prison and lead him to our cellblock. There were people in the common room, and they all greeted Daryl, but as soon as they saw his angry scowl, they got out of our way.

The walk to our cell was quiet, and you could cut the air with a knife; that's how uncomfortable it was. Daryl's shoulders were tense, and he strode through the cellblock in long strides, eager to get to our cell as soon as possible. He shoved the sheet aside and went inside, making me follow right after him. The hunter stopped in the middle and turned around, crossing his arms on his chest. His deep blue eyes were stirring holes in my face, and I sighed heavily, letting the sheet fell down.

"Alrighty, let's get you cleaned up, Big Boy," I said and wanted to move forward to get to the water I put in the sink earlier, but Daryl shifted, not letting me go anywhere.

"Nah. What the hell happened, El?" Daryl glanced down at me, and his eyes roamed my bruised face and neck, his jaw clenched, and I knew there is no way of avoiding it.

"Right. Um, can we sit down?" I asked and plunged myself on a bottom bunk, patting the space next to me. Daryl hesitated for a second but finally sat down beside me, and I reached my hand, lacing our fingers together.

"Daryl, I think Merle's right. God, that sounds wrong, saying it," I scrunched my face, but then I looked over at the man next to me and immediately felt the warm feeling spreading through my whole body. "We were on the run to one of the farmhouses Glenn pointed on the map. We checked a house, really. But the prick hid in the closet. I even found a fucking new pants for you. He surprised me, and because the house was secured, the others were outside checking what they can find."

"How close?" Daryl asked, his voice strained, and he clenched his other hand tightly.

"Um, somewhere between crazy neighbor and guys in the shop."

Daryl breathed out heavily, and finally, his eyes landed on mine. He was back, so close to me, but I knew he still was angry, and I wasn't sure what I could do to make it go away.

"Merle supposed to protect ya," He mumbled, but I shook my head and placed my other hand on his cheek.

"He did all he could. Look, none of us expected someone to hide in a fucking closet. There were no signs of anybody being in there. Merle was with me until we deemed the place secure. It wasn't his fault."

"Ya, right. It's mine."

I knitted my brows together, not really following his trail of thoughts. "How the fuck would it be your fault, Daryl?"

"'Cause I should've been there for ya. Instead, I chase a ghost with Michonne."

"Yeah, but we all know why you're doing it, Daryl!" I shifted on the bed so I could ultimately face the hunter. "You both are doing it because Governor is fucking dangerous. He attacked us in our home and turned against his own people. I mean, the guy is a psychopath. It gives everyone in prison peace to know that you two are looking for him."

"El-- I ain't wanna go, if ya gonna get hurt every time I leave," Daryl stated and also changed his position, bending his knee to the bed. I touched his cheek gently and got lost in that deep eyes of his.

"It was once. And I promise that next time I won't find myself in that kind of situation. I'll always have the backup, but you can't give up on that search just for me," I told him and swallowed harshly. It took all my strength to say those words out loud. I didn't want him to leave, of course, I could tell him that, but I would never forgive myself. I knew how important the search was for Daryl.

**Day 340**

"Are ya gonna tell me why we goin' there?" Taking a trip with Merle was like going with the kid. You had to have snacks, fight over what is played on the CD player (not that we had a lot of choices), and entertain his childish question every once and awhile. I rolled my eyes and looked out of the window, letting Rick take that one.

"That's one of the places we haven't been through the winter, and you said that neither was Governor," The sheriff answered, his voice was stoic, but I knew him long enough to see that he was losing his patience just as I was.

The drive towards Decatur was about five hours long, and we had three cars, hoping to bring back a lot of goods. We expected to be gone for at least three days, get there, scavenge as much as possible and then come back. But if we were lucky, there would be places that other people wouldn't think of looking, vet offices, tool shops.

When we finally pulled over by the abandoned-looking house, next to a hardware store. We were lucky enough that there were no walkers around, but we all knew it could change any second.

Everybody followed my lead and quietly got out, I silently pointed out at the Glenn and Oscar and at the side of the house, so they can check out the back. I glanced around at the faces of others, Axel was standing between Tyreese and Greg, and he was holding tightly onto the ax. Maggie, Michonne, and Sasha stood still near the vehicles checking around for walkers.

Oscar and Glenn came back and nodded, signaling that it's all clear. I took a deep breath and looked around one more time.

"Axel, Greg, and Maggie stay here on the watch. Use radio if anything is coming. We go in, clear it, and hole up here for the night. Stay in pairs, check wardrobes and cabinets, trust me," I told them and strode over to the doors, Rick and Merle on my sides. I banged on the wooden entrance, and I could hear shuffling and growls coming from the inside. I reached out to the knob, glancing over at the guys behind me first, and when I saw they were ready, I twisted I pushed harshly, raising my machete and walking in first.

A heavily decomposed body lounged at me, but I managed to stab it in the head before it could reach me. I pushed forward, hearing the footsteps of others behind me and grunts from fighting with other geeks. We swiped quietly through the house, checking every corner and every closed door until we were sure that there were no more walkers or no people inside.

"OK, Maggie, Axel, Oscar, and I will go to the Kitchen Garden," Glenn started when we gathered everyone inside the house. "Greg, Tyreese, Sasha, and Michone, you guys go to the north side of the town. Elena, you take Rick and Merle, check the south, and that hardware store next door."

"Alrighty people, you heard the man," I said and started to make my way towards the door. "If something happens, radio the others."

Getting into the hardware store wasn't as easy; it took me a while to get the locks, and then Rick pulled up the shatters, just enough to let us in.

"Keep your eyes open, we stick together, grab tools and anything that might get handy, and get out of here. Elena, try not to get hurt again," Rick commanded, and I rolled my eyes at his comment. Sure, it seemed like I was accident-prone, but it wasn't like I did it on purpose. The bruises on my face and around my neck faded now, to an ugly shade of yellow. I could see properly through both of my eyes, and my voice went back to normal. Therefor Doctor S deemed me fit to go back out, after a little bit threatening, that is.

Rick and I switched on our flashlights, and slowly, silently, we made a swipe of the store. It wasn't the biggest, but it took us a few minutes to make sure that there are no walkers lurking. There was a dead body lying behind the counter, his body propped against the wall, with old blood and brain matter sprayed all over it.

"Alrighty, let's get to it," I spoke when we secured the area, and I pulled the duffel off my shoulder, going to the locksmith section, going through the supplies on the shelves—wires, robes, and padlocks, anything that could be in any way useful. Rick and Merle were adding tools to the bag, and soon we had everything we could think of.

We were about to start leaving when I spotted something in the hobby section.

"Wait up, guys," I told them and crossed the floor, pulling my backpack off my shoulders. My eyes ran over the shelves, and my heartbeat sped up a little at the thought of being able to carve the thing myself. There were few sets, but most of them required electricity, a luxury we, unfortunately, didn't have anymore. But there was one, cheaper pen-shaped with attachable heads. I read quickly through the instructions and nodded to myself.

"We need batteries," I announced and put the square package in my personal bag, swinging it back over my shoulders.

"We got all they had, Doll," Merle replied, and I grinned at him, skipping to where the men stood.

"Great, we can go then."

"All good, Elena?" Rick asked me, his eyes scanning me, trying to figure out what I was up to right now.

"Sure thing, Sheriff. Just a small side project I was thinking about."

"OK, let's go check the town."

We walked the street quickly, and I took out the radio to let others know that we're going into the city. Besides, it was time to check-in.

"We cleared the store, going to the city now, over." I clicked the walkie-talkie and climbed into the back seat, behind the drivers.

" _We're here already, it seems pretty cleared out, but gonna keep looking, over,_ " Sasha's voices cracked through, and I hummed, waiting for the third group to speak.

" _Had some walker problems, but dealt with it. Walking into the Garden now, over and out_ ," Glenn announced, and I really hoped they would be fine. He had two people who weren't that experienced with the couple, and that worried me. One second, that's all that takes, one mistake, and they all could be dead. I shook my head, pulling myself off the depressing thoughts.

The first two stops were easy and relatively fruitful. We got some food supplies and sets of clothes for everyone in prison. Now we stopped by the gas station, hoping we could get some canisters full.

"OK, let's check the parameter first and the inside, we don't need any surprises today," I ordered, and we circled the small building, my gut clenching slightly when once again we didn't found any walkers. I held my bow up, the arrow notched in place with a machete strapped to my belt and Glock in the thigh holster.

"It's too quiet in here. The city should be crawling with walkers, yet we saw only a few," I spoke out my concerns when we stopped by the main entrance. The windows were boarded, which could mean people, but we had to check it.

"Ain't seems right," Merle mumbled, gun ready to fire in his left hand and his sharpened hand-knife, both prepared for any danger.

"We need gas, and they're still might be supplies inside," Rick added, and I nodded. He was right, but that didn't stop me from feeling uneasy about the city.

"Alrighty, let's get inside. In and out and come back to the base," I told them and started for the door. I banged my fist, waiting for any movements on the other side, but there was none. Even more creepy, it seemed clear, but if so, why were the windows covered?

I tried the handle, but the building was locked shut, so I quickly took my backpack off and searched for the lockpicks. I eyed the hole for a moment and fished out the tension wrench and snake pick, sticking them inside. I closed my eyes, and my hands worked quickly, listening for the familiar sound. When I finally heard it, I smiled triumphally and stood up, putting my tools back into the pack and shrugging it on.

Rick moved forward, and I stepped aside, swinging my bow over the head and pulling the machete out; it was easier to maneuver in the closed quarters. The sheriff pushed the door open and walked in, his hatchet raised high, and the flashlight in the other, shinning some light on the empty shelves. Fuck.

Merle and I stepped in quietly after him and glanced around. Metal units that once held the supplies where pushed and stacked around the walls. There were some sleeping bags scattered on the floor, and I swallowed harshly. At some point, there were people here, and they could still be hiding somewhere around. My eyes landed on the door across the room, behind the counter, and I caught Rick's eyes pointing at it.

"Merle, stay quiet, and put your hand down," I whispered to the Dixon, and he sent me a confused look, but lowered his left hand, pointing his gun at the floor. I huffed and rolled my eyes. "The _other_ one, dipshit."

"Hello? Anybody in here?" Rick asked loudly while I closed the door silently behind me and crossed the room towards the office doors. There was no answer, but I heard a whimper and nodded my head, letting the men know that there's someone in there.

"Listen, we don't mean you any harm. If you want us to leave, we'll, but I'd like to check if you're alright," I spoke softly, and there was a gasp coming from the other side of the wall, and what seemed like hushed whispering.

"Go away. We're armed and don't have anything for you to steal," Male voice answered, and there was a cocking noise, indicating a bullet loading into the chamber.

"Sir, I assure you that I understand why you're scared, but we're not here to hurt anyone. Those shelves look pretty empty, and the city seems to be cleared out as well. Looks to me like you running out of supplies."

"It ain't your concern, lady!"

I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment. "We're putting our weapons away. We have some food if you need any."

There was a sudden silence and more whispering before the man replied. "Why would you do this?"

I locked my eyes with Rick, and he nodded, urging me to keep talking.

"We have a place, families, children. It's secured, and we're taking people in. I get it, you don't know us, but we're not here to hurt you. We can feed you, and if you don't want to leave with us, we'll leave."

"What's your name?" I clenched my jaw and rolled my eyes. How much longer we going to play this game before they come out?

"My name is Elena, you?"

"David. How can I be sure that you gonna leave if we say so?"

"Man got a point, Sugar. They don't know us," Merle mumbled, and I glared at him, before taking my bow off and dropping it to the floor. I reached for my pack and unzipped the front of it, grabbing the leather wallet, stroking it for a moment. I didn't look at it since everything went to shit. Why would I? It didn't matter anymore and held no value except sentimental. I opened it and stared at my face for a second, barely recognizing myself in the picture. I placed it on the floor and pushed it through the empty space under the door.

"Before everything started, that was my job. That credentials were everything to me," I started and stood up, taking a few steps back. "I know it doesn't mean a lot in this new world, but I swear on it that we mean you no harm, and if you decide not to go with us, we'll leave you alone."

I held my breath for a moment before releasing it when the door slowly opened. I urged Rick and Merle to lower their guns, even though the guy I presumed to be David had his revolver aimed at me. There were five of them, the guy with a gun, David, had black hair and bushy beard. He was tall and lanky, his clothes dirty and ripped in the places, he looked like he was in his late thirties or early forties.

The other man was bulky and just a few inches taller than me, with blonde hair, and he was as dirty as David. The third adult was a woman, she was older than the men, maybe mid-sixties? Her hair was white, and wrinkles covered her slim face. She was holding a little girl, who couldn't be older than two, in her arms. Behind her, clenching to her shirt, was a boy who looked to be around six.

"Hello," I started softly and smiled gently at them. I pointed at myself and then the others, introducing us. "My name's Elena. That is Rick and Merle."

"David. And that's Steve and Ellen." The tall man introduced, but he still looked between us with untrusting eyes.

"You ready for that food?" I asked them and motioned for Merle to take off his backpack, where we put some of the cans we found in the last place. Dixon huffed and mumbled something under his nose but did what I asked him and handed me the bag. I unzipped it and slowly, careful not to spook the group, I reached inside and placed a few cans on the floor one after another. I dropped three packages of chips and some protein bars next to it and stepped back, giving the pack back to Merle.

"So what you doing here?" Steve asked, eying the supplies suspiciously, I wasn't surprised that they were conscious I would be too. Hell, I'll probably already try to kill them.

"Mommy?" The girl in the woman's arms spoke, and she was fidgeting and waving her hands in my direction, making everyone freeze for a moment. My eyes went round, and utter sadness filled my heart. Ellen cleared her throat, sending me an apologetic smile, shaking her head.

"No, sweety, that's not your mama."

"Oh."

"Um, sorry about it. We lost her mom a few months ago. And you kinda look like her," David spoke more softly, and I managed to nod sharply, clenching my jaw to stop the emotions from showing on my face.

"It's OK. Don't worry about it," I said quietly and watched Steve reach for the cans and pass one to Ellen and the other to the boy that was still hiding behind the woman.

"That's Lucy and Luke," Ellen pointed between the kids and sat down on one of the sleeping bags. David grabbed chips and passed them to the boy with a small smile on his face. They weren't bad people; they were just scared and protecting the kids, just like we would.

I glanced at Merle, who looked really uncomfortable, and at Rick, who was shifting in his spot. I sat down on the cold floor and patted areas on my sides, asking the other men to join me. The sheriff did so almost immediately, but Dixon was a different story. He glanced at the people we just found and slowly sat down, with one leg bend, gun in his lap, ready, in case they would attack us.

"So that place of yours, where is it?" Steve asked, using his fingers to scoop some of the canned beans and shoved them into his mouth.

"About seventy miles down south," Rick replied, making the men snap their eyes towards him.

"Anything else?"

"Look," I started and tilted my head. "It's secured with fences and walls. We have supplies, building a community, bringing survivors who want to go with us. But we not going to tell you where it is unless you commit."

"Smart. I get it," David commented, glaring at his friend. The black-haired man looked over at the dirty kids, who ate quickly like they didn't in a long time. I noticed the girl kept her sky blue eyes on me, mesmerized, and I breathed in deeply, averting my gaze.

"Hom many of you in there?" Steve asked again, and I faced him again.

"Around thirty at the moment."

"And if we decide not to come?"

"Then we going to take our things and leave you alone. We mainly came here for the Kitchen Garden to get some seeds and see what else we can get."

"And if we say yes?" Ellen asked, hugging the girl to her chest.

"Then we would have three questions for you."

"Why?"

"To determine what kind of people you are. You aren't the only ones who would take the risk," Rick answered, his face growing serious. It was quiet for a few minutes when they finished the food, and then they went back to the office. All we could hear was distant whispering when they discussed what to do.

"Ya think they'll come, Doll?" Merle's gruff voice pulled me out of my thoughts, and I shrugged.

"I think they were out here for a while. It's just three of them, and they have kids. They would be stupid, just ignoring our offer."

"The kid kinda looks like ya."

My eyes snapped to Dixon's and my brows furrowed. That was the last thing I wanted to think of right now.

"She's not mine, Merle," I said harshly, hoping he would get a hint and drop it. That was wishful thinking, though.

"Could be. Rubbers will be gone soon. I betcha Darlina and ya could make one like that."

"Merle, shut up," Rick spoke out loud while I glanced down at my clenched fists, trying to stop them from shaking.

"Just sayin'. Unless all that talk 'bout lil' brother stickin' wood in her was all lies."

"Merle, drop it, please," I managed, nearly choking on the words, my voice low and husky from emotions.

"Sure, Sugar. Just pushin' yur buttons."

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down, and that's when David and his friends came back into the main room. They had small packs with them, and Lucy had her shoes on, and her shoulder-length blonde curls were tied in a low ponytail. My eyes were glued to her round face and those big blue eyes. Is this is how Amelia would look like if she would be alive?

"Ask us your questions, Elena," David spoke, and I smiled widely at him.

"How many walkers have you killed?"

"You mean the dead? Um, many. But we were lucky to find and clear this place."

I nodded in understanding and straightened my back. "How many people have you killed?"

There was a shadow crossing Ellen's face, and she glanced down at the kids, pulling them closer.

"Three."

"Why?"

"To stop them from turning," David said sadly, and I nodded.

"Great. Do you have a car?"

"Yeah, it's behind the store."

"Great. You can follow us. We have a meeting point with the rest of our scavenging group, and tomorrow we'll go home."


	54. Chapter 54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Guys, I'm back! Sorry, it took me so long, but I had some issues. At home, at work, and generally I felt for the past two months very shitty. But I got my head around it, found back my inspiration, and already have another six chapters written, and ready. So, enjoy! 
> 
> Cheers :)

**Day 345**

The past two days were weird, to say at least. We took the Decatur group back to the prison, placed them in block D with Woodbury people, and allocated them jobs. Ellen would help with kitchen and laundry duty, while the men would work on fences and watchtower. But that wasn't what I was talking about. The kids had plenty of space to run around; Luke was playing with Owen and Carl, but Lucy... That was a different story.

The girl was, in fact, two years old, and she was walking confidently. But the only words she would say was 'yes', 'no', and 'mommy'—the last one directed at me. If I was outside, and so was she, she would follow me everywhere. It was cute and unnerving simultaneously. Carol and Maggie were laughing at the sight of little blonde angel following me around in the fields. Merle added his fuel to all of this by making these snarky comments about having enough sex with Daryl to make our own kid. I knew that he was doing it only because he was getting a reaction out of me, but it was still pissing me off.

Today was day two being back in prison, and according to Hershel, who had radio this morning, Daryl and Michonne were on their way back. How the fuck am I going to explain to Daryl my new fan number one?

I was standing in front of Carol, who was prepping lunch for everyone, while Beth was bouncing Judith on her hip next to the grill. I felt a soft tug at the back of my shirt and turned around. It was Lucy again, standing in her new green dress, something that Beth found for her in our supplies. She was clean, and I could see just how pretty she really was. My heart clenched, just like every time the girl looked up at me with that big, sad eyes. She was holding out a bunch of daisies, stretching her small hand towards me.

I swallowed harshly and crouched down so she could see me better, and I tried to give her a tiny smile.

"Is it for me?" I asked softly, and Lucy nodded, making her curls bounce around her shoulders.

"They're beautiful. Did you get them yourself?" Lucy nodded again, then turned around and run away towards where other kids were playing. I sighed heavily and tightened my grip on the flowers.

"She's a really sweet girl," Carol commented, not stopping what she was doing with the pots.

"Yeah," I answered shortly, glancing down at the petals in my hand. "I have to put them in water or something," I mumbled, and with my head low, I stumbled inside the cellblock C.

It was early afternoon, so luckily, most people were out and about, performing their duties. I rushed through the common area and then towards my cell. My shoulders dropped the second I stepped inside my little room and closed my eyes for a few moments. After another shaky breath, I moved to the small table and placed the flowers in the glass. I opened the water bottle and poured some inside the glass, taking a few sips before screwing the cap back in.

It wasn't the time to feel sad for myself, I had an hour until my watch, and later when Daryl comes back, we will have a council meeting. I sat down and took my backpack from underneath the bed, placing it next to me on a bed. I shifted my back towards the entrance and reached for the little jaws I took from the hardware store.

I worked on my mini-project for about thirty minutes before deciding to hide it back in my bag and left my solitary. Slowly I made my way to where Chloe and Maggie stood by the grill and grabbed a plate with meat they were watching. The red-haired woman didn't speak to me since the night of the bonfire, but I could sense that she wasn't my biggest fan in the world. I thanked both of them and quickly ate what was there before making my way towards the guard tower.

It was getting late, but the sun was still scorching, making my skin drip in sweat while I swang hammer down onto the nails plunged in the wooden plank in front of me. We were expanding our outside courtyard, and with tools we found just a few days ago, it was easy. Oscar was telling Merle and I stories from his youth, and we were all laughing, exchanging the memories. It was nice to relax a little, and it was good to see older Dixon trying to be civil with other people in prison. He is still mainly stuck by me, but he gets along fine with ex-prisoners and, surprisingly, Carol. I think Merle admired her a lot by how she changed since he knew her in the quarry and how she protected her family. That was definitely something that those two had in common.

The shouting by the main gate got our attention, and when I turned around, wiping the bead of sweat from my forehead, I could see a familiar car. A huge smile appeared on my face, and I placed the toll on the plank, excusing myself.

"Sorry, boys, but I gotta go greet my man."

"Just be quiet this time. I can't fuckin' stand listenin' to Darlina's groans. Too fuckin' weird," Merle snickered behind me, making me glare at him, but it was Oscar who answered.

"Ain't your business what they doing in their cell, man."

"Thanks, Oscar. Shut up, Merle. Like I don't know that you get off while we doing it, creep." I showed him a finger and turned around just when the car parked behind other vehicles. I started to walk in that direction, ignoring laughs coming out of the older Dixon.

As soon as the engine cut off, the passenger's door opened, and Michonne stormed off the car. Her clothes were covered in blood, and she was scowling more than usual. I cocked my brow at her, but she pushed past me, bumping my shoulder with hers and going towards the prison. Alrighty, someones not in the mood, that's for sure. I faced the car once again and furrowed my brows when no one else got out. I strolled to the driver's side, glancing over at Daryl through the window.

He was sitting still, his strong hands gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white. Loose strands of his hair covered his eyes, and his arms were covered in blood, just like Katana's clothes. Slowly I opened the door, snapping Daryl out of his thoughts, and when his Georgia's blue eyes met mine, I felt my heart skip a beat. He had a black eye and split lip, but it was the anger radiating off him that made me tread carefully. I haven't seen that expression in his eyes for a long time. That was the old Daryl, a man that had issues with controlling his fury and exploded easily, and I knew something terrible had to happen to put him back in that state.

I smiled softly and slowly outstretched my hand, waiting for him. "Let's go get you cleaned up, Big Boy," My voice was soft and comforting. Daryl looked me up and down and shut his eyes for a second, trying to calm himself down, before finally putting his hand in mine and getting out of the vehicle.

I squeezed his hand hard and started leading him towards the prison, and when I spotted Merle near us, I shook my head gently and sent him a sharp look, hoping he will understand the message.

"Can you take care of supplies from the car?" I asked the men, and Oscar nodded quickly, putting his tools away.

"Sure thing, Boss."

Merle observed his younger brother, squinting his eyes and scowling, but finally, he followed Oscar, and I started walking again. Daryl's hand was warm, holding onto me like I was his anchor. I dropped his hand for a second once we were in the common area, turning to face the hunter.

"I'll grab fresh clothes and be back in a second, alright?" He didn't reply, staring at the wall in front of him, blanking Sasha and Beth, who sat by one of the tables, taking care of Judith. I jogged towards our cell and quickly went through our packs, taking out a blue cut-off shirt, fresh boxers, and a pair of pants I hoped would fit him. I took a new top for myself and run out back to the common room, noticing that Daryl didn't move an inch.

When I grabbed his hand, the hunter flinched and almost pulled away until he glanced down, noticing that it's just me. I was starting to get a bit worried, so I pulled Daryl towards the showers with me without a word. I closed the door behind us, made my way to one of the fixed pipes in the corner, and started the water. It will be cold, but maybe that's precisely what Daryl needs right now.

I turned around, and a small shiver went down my spine at the cold stare coming out of the hunter. Alright, it's going to be fine. Whatever happened out there, it placed Daryl in a wounded animal stage.

Slowly I strode over to where he was standing and reached out for his vest. His eyes were drilling holes in my face; squinted a little, his usual scowl on his lips. Gently I removed the vest and started on his cut-off, slowly undoing one button after the other, not averting my eyes from his. I needed him to know that he is safe and that I won't hurt him. My palms touched his firm stomach, and slowly I traced them up to his broad shoulders, helping Daryl shrug the shirt off.

I noticed a bruise on his right side; purple covered a big area underneath his ribs. The hell happened out there? Daryl looked like he was in a fight, and on top of it, he and Michonne seemed to have a pretty heavy argument back in the car. Slowly I reached out to his belt and tried to undo it, but his hand clenched tightly around my wrist, squeezing tightly.

My eyes traveled up, and I noticed his grim expression and scrunched brows.

"You need a shower," I said softly, hoping that he will let me take care of himself.

"I ain't need yur help," He grunted and stepped back, turning his back to me. I sighed heavily and run a hand through my hair. Seeing him like that was breaking my heart. But I also knew that he would be more upset even with his resistance if I let him push me away.

I grabbed the hem of my top and quickly peeled it off me, my shoes and pants following. I placed my clothes on the floor close to the door, shivering when the cold air hit my skin. My bra and panties quickly joined the rest of my wardrobe, and then I pushed past Daryl, not looking back at him. I turned on the shower and gasped when the water started pouring down, it was cool, nearly freezing, but it was fresh and will do the job.

Hesitating just for a moment, I dug my head under the stream and let my hair get wet. I turned around, wiping water from my eyes, and blinking a few times to glance at Daryl. He stood in the same place, but his pants were gone, and he was staring intensely at my naked body.

"Could you pass me a shampoo?" I asked lowly, and that snapped him from his thoughts. Hunter shook his head and reached down for a small bottle I brought with us, and he crossed to the room, standing right in front of me.

Even with the cold water hitting my skin and creating goosebumps, I still could feel the heat radiating out of his gorgeous body. I took the bottle from his hands and stepped aside, pulling him under the stream, making him hiss at sudden temperature change. I was washing my hair while Daryl braced his hands on the wall, letting the water work its magic and wash out the dirt and blood from his tanned skin.

He was a sight I could never get tired of. Strong lines of muscles covered his back and arms; his ass was tight, making me want to dig my nails in his flesh. Strong legs, spread apart, water dripping all over Daryl's body made me bite my lower lip for a second before I refocused on the task at hand.

Pouring more liquid in my hands, I pressed my body to his back and slowly worked on his hair. My fingers were massaging his scalp gently, and slowly I could feel his body relax. Muscles of his back twitched when he pushed himself upright and turned around to face me. Now we both stood under the cold water, trying to get rid of the last remains of shampoo. Still, it was those incredible blue eyes that kept me captivated.

I felt compelled, and so when Daryl yanked me towards the wall and spun me around, a soft surprised yelp escaped my mouth, and I reached out, my hands outstretched to not fell. I could feel the cold tiles under my palms and Daryl's hot body pressed against my back, his hands circling around my waist. He nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck, his throbbing length against my back. How did he manage that with this freezing water?

All thought seemed to escape me when Daryl reached down, and his fingers touched my clit, pinching it lightly. I cried out and threw my head back, resting it on his broad shoulder, while he moved his fingers in a circle, working on my nub. I pushed my hips back and was rewarded with a low growl, and Daryl bit down on my shoulder. He moved his hand and pressed it to my back, making me bend over and stick my ass up towards him.

It was quick, and unlike our previous encounters, Daryl's thrust was fast and hard, and suddenly he was buried deep inside me to the hilt. He tangled his hand in my wet curls and pulled hard, tilting my head, exposing the curve of my neck. Daryl bit on my shoulder again and pressed his fingers tighter to my clit.

"Harder," I choked out, feeling the pressure started to build up in my belly.

"Hold on," Daryl grunted, and I braced myself against the wall while he pulled away almost entirely, just to slam back into me. He was angry and harsh, gripping my hip and pulling my hair to the point where it hurt. But it was nothing comparing to the tingling that was building up under my skin.

I felt Daryl deep inside me, snapping his hips hard until I groaned and cried out his name. His pants in my ear were sending shivers down my spine, and I couldn't stop myself any longer. I clenched tightly around him and shouted, waves of pleasure shooting through my body. I felt dizzy, and I definitely would fell down if Daryl wouldn't be holding me up. I don't know how much time passed, how long I was shaking, in hunter's tight embrace.

"Yur so fuckin' beautiful, so damn pretty," He was whispering in my ear, stiff behind me and still buried to the hilt within me. I breathed in deeply and leaned back, putting my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes. I nearly collapsed onto the floor when Daryl pulled out, and suddenly I was lifted off the ground, cradled in his strong arms.

Later that day, I was laying down on our bed, with Daryl by my side. I stared at his blue eyes and waited for him to finally speak. We came back from the showers hours ago, and he still didn't talk to me. So I was waiting, showing him my support and making sure he knows, that I am with him whatever happened.

The silence was starting to get better off me, and I closed my eyes for a second, trying to calm down and not fidget. I ran my hand up and down over Daryl's chest and smiled gently at the feeling of his soft hair under my palm.

"We were on the way back two days ago," Daryl's gruff voice snapped me out of my thoughts, and I opened my eyes, staring into those bright blue orbs. He looked tired, not just after today but general exhaustion with this world. I didn't say anything, just waited for him to tell me the whole story.

"We got a trail of some people, and Michonne wanted to follow it. It wasn't Governor, that's for sure. Damn, it was some crazy dudes shackled in the abandoned school. Took us by surprise."

I was trying hard not to look worried. He was here, so obviously, whatever happened, they both dealt with it.

"I hate it," I finally spoke out loud. "I hate that we are separated, and I can't watch your back."

"Yeah, me too."

"I know you're super-tough, and you don't need me to watch your back. And Katana is amazing with that sword of hers, but I worry. Every single time you go out there, I don't know what's happening. It was two of us for so long, keeping each other safe. And now-"

"I know, El," Daryl interrupted me and planted a soft kiss on the top of my hair. "Michonne's great, but she ain't ya. And she's reckless, on a mission for a guy who's gone. We've on it for over a month and haven't seen a sign of him. All the hiddin' spots Merle was talkin' about, no sign at all."

I sighed heavily and bit inside of my cheek to control my responses. "I can see how straining it is on you. When Governor took off, it was a good call. And you suspected that he was somewhere close, especially that it was probably him who burned down Woodbury. It makes people feel safer, knowing that you two are searching for him."

"So ya wanna me keep goin' out there?" Daryl knitted his brows at my answer, and even I couldn't understand what I was trying to say.

"I hate being separated from you. I hate not having your back, but I understand why you felt the need to get out there in the first place. So if you going to stay with me, I'll be happy. And if you're going back out there, I'll be happy if that's what you want. So the real question here is if that's still something you want to do," I told him softly. He didn't reply, but the arms around me tightened, and it was the best feeling in the world.

His steady, hard heartbeat under my palm and the musky scent of his body, it was something I was missing the most. Yeah, sure, we had a shower, but he always smelled terrific, a mixture of forest and cigarettes. It made me feel safe and right at home. He was my home, almost from the beginning, long before either of us realized that there were feelings involved.

"So, what's new in here?" Daryl asked, moving onto his back, pulling me with him, so I was half-lying on his chest.

"Well, Rick and Hershel are setting up a garden. Merle and I still going hunting every morning, but recently the game is more scarce. We're building a place for pigs we found the other day-"

"Ya mean when ya got hurt," Daryl interrupted me, and I slapped his chest playfully, making him chuckle under my body. "What else?"

"We found new people in the Decatur. Um, three adults and two kids. They're pretty capable. I think the leader, David, will be a good addition to our run crew, and the rest is on the fence duty for now."

"That's good. We need people."

"That's not all of it," I spoke after a moment, my heart hammering in my chest, not sure if I should tell Daryl about the little girl.

"What else?"

"There are two kids. Luke, he's six and getting pretty good with the other kids, but the girl... Lucy, she's around two right now. Doesn't speak at all, except when she's- when she calls me mommy," I whispered, clenching my fist, wondering what Daryl's reaction will be. He shifted slightly under me, and gently pulled me off him, so he could look me in the eyes. They were clear as the sky, boring into my grey once like he would be trying to stare into my soul.

His hand came to my face, cupping it and stroking my cheekbone with his thumb. It was soft and reassuring; he knew what I felt at this moment, how all the memories were coming back to me.

"Ya told her ya ain't?"

"Yeah, they all did. But she's two. She doesn't understand that." I closed my eyes for a moment and scrunched my face, trying to control the turmoil of emotions stirring inside me. "She could be mine, you put her next to me, and we definitely look alike."

"Mh-hm," Daryl grunted and kept cradling my face. His warm body was sharing the heat, and I pressed myself closer, needing to feel him.

"And it just opened up all the questions, you know? Like, is this how Amelia would look like? And I'm petrified. I try to ignore her and push her away. Because I'm afraid that I'll get attached, more than usual. More than with the others, and that will make me do something stupid," I admitted breathing profoundly and then laughed at myself. "I'm sorry, Big Boy. I'm totally overtaking this conversation and dropping that on you."

"Ain't nothin' to worry about. I'm here for ya, Princess."

"I miss you, Daryl. And our talks, I miss having you next to me. We sit in the common room, and I'm looking around for you. Carol says something funny, and I glance around, searching for you."

Daryl didn't reply, just held me tighter to his chest, and it was all we both needed at this moment. To not think about Governor potentially lurking somewhere around us. To forget about walkers and dangers that were waiting for us outside of the fences. Just laying in each other arms and breathing in familiar scent.


	55. Chapter 55

**Day 373**

Two months. Two full, work-induced months, since the Governor disappeared, and Daryl decided to go off with Michonne, trying to find him. After our heart to heart hunter decided to go back out there, he didn't want to leave Katana alone, and I didn't blame him. I mean, how could I? If it was possible, I would be out there with them.

Even before the turn, my life was chaotic. I always traveled with my team, solving cases, and catching killers. I wasn't a domesticated kind of person. Then after the world went to shit, there was always something to do. After the farm, we spent so much time on a road, and it felt natural.

But now, sitting in the library, waiting for the rest of the council to meet, I was wondering how I got myself into this position. Prison was prospering as best as possible. Hershel was teaching Rick all about farming, and it was going better than we all thought. It might not be what I meant when I told the sheriff that he needs a hobby and something relaxing to do, but I won't stop him if it works for him. Piglets were growing up, but it still will be a long time before we can think of them as food. They will have to grow up and breed.

So, for now, we were still doing runs and scavenging. Merle and I were still hunting whenever we could, so our people had something else to eat except canned food.

At the moment our only issue was walkers, who were pilling up at the fences. No matter how many people we had working and stabbing, there was more dead than us. And the more people we brought in, more geeks ventured our way. That's why we called the meeting, I was hoping we could wait a few more days for Daryl and Michonne to come back, but we were running out of time.

I sighed heavily and stared at the map again, trying to convince myself that the plan would work. I was tired. No, that's too weak. I was mentally exhausted from sitting in this office and figuring things up, from going through papers, maps, or supply lists.

I missed the simpler times on the road, where Rick was the one who did all the planning and thinking, and I was just waiting to execute his orders. I didn't have to worry if the decision was right or wrong because it was not on me, not on my shoulders. And yeah, sure, we were a council. Everyone had something to do, we all had our roles, but if something goes wrong tomorrow, it's on us. And I never wanted that kind of responsibility. Plus, I felt trapped here.

Morning hunts were the only times when I could get away, but it wasn't the same without Daryl. Recent runs also sucked because Glenn wanted more people trained, so he kept taking others with him. Merle and Sasha were busy with prison security, Glenn constantly planned his routes, Carol made sure that the domestic side of prison works. Hershel had his farming, and even with doctor S, he still was our Doc.

And I? I had to make sure that someone always knows what's happening, that all those aspects I just mentioned are going smoothly. On top of that, many people realized what I did before the turn. Not the FBI side, but having a doctorate in Psychology, so apparently, I became our local shrink. Something I tried to avoid for so many years.

"Ya alright, baby girl?" Merle's gruff voice pulled me out of my thoughts, and I glanced up at him.

"How about you stick to Dollface or Sugar. Baby girl really doesn't suit me, Hook," I answered, faking a smile. "Where's the rest?"

"On their way. Ya sure everythin' good?"

"Yes, Merle. Don't you worry, I'm all good," Just as I said that others came bursting through the door, slowly, one by one, taking seats by one of the tables. I smiled broadly and moved from my spot to go where they were. I grabbed the map with me, and I placed it in the middle of a table.

"Tyreese and I checked the road leading to 27, and it looks good," Sasha announced straight away, and I was grateful for that. It was around eight in the morning, and we really should do it today, as soon as possible.

"And 27?" Glenn asked, looking over at the map.

"There's some blockage near Greenville, but south looked alright." Sasha traced her finger down on a 27 interstate going to Warm Springs. I glanced down at the piece of paper and tapped my finger to the other point, more West.

"If we gonna take them south here," I tilted my head and bit on my lower lip. "We don't know what's there, and I don't think turning around in the middle of a town it's a good idea."

"I agree," Glenn confirmed and tapped his finger next to mine. "If we go through here, it's far enough from the prison, and we can turn around."

"Do we have time to check this road out?" Carol asked, furrowing her brows and glancing around.

"The fences this morning were bad, and people are getting scared," Hershel added, mindlessly rubbing a hand over his beard. I nodded and sighed heavily.

"We should do it today like we planned, but maybe someone can take a car and go ahead of us. Contact us with a walkie-talkie if something goes wrong."

"We have enough gas. I can do it," Glenn added and looked around at others.

"And who's gonna lead the walkers away?" Carol asked, her voice shaking a little bit. She always cared and worried a little too much.

"I will," I replied, not hesitating for even a moment. Hershel snapped his head towards me, and a glimpse of worry shone in his blue eyes.

"I'm not sure it's a good idea."

"Hershel, I know the risks, trust me. I'll take one of the Woodbury trucks," I told him, trying to calm down his worries.

"But if something happens out there--"

"And you telling me you wouldn't feel the same way about Rick or Glenn going?" I asked him, furrowing my brows. "The only reason you say it, is because you don't want to lose my fighting skills. It's the same reason why you didn't let me go with Daryl in the first place. And for what? I haven't been in a fight for weeks; heck, I don't even do watch or fence as often anymore because there's always something else you people need me to do!"

I didn't even realize I stood up until my hands slammed the table. I was angry, all my closed feelings finally getting out. Probably awful timing.

"For tossing papers, sitting in this office and checking and triple checking what others already confirmed. And fuck, all those people coming to me with their personal shit. Carol, do you remember me in Atlanta? I don't like new people, and there was a reason why I didn't have a fancy office before the turn. It's because I'm not fucking empathetic enough to sit down in a chair and listen to people's issues. I want to be out there, do important things! And precisely because I am one of the most skilled fighters it's best I'll go. If something happens, if I'm gonna get stuck; I'm the best choice because I can take care of myself."

My eyes widened when I realized I just screamed all my inner thoughts at our council. I sighed heavily and sat back down, avoiding their faces.

"Well, shit. Don't hold out on us, Doll," Merle said snarkily and started clapping, just to be slapped in the arm by Carol, who told him to shut up.

"You should've told us you feel this way, Eli," the Grey-haired woman said softly, a small smile tucking at her lips.

"How could I? Since Governor, you all kinda assumed I'm going to run this shit. You all decided that basically one of us, either Daryl or I, have to stay here. And then suddenly everything started piling up, and I barely even leave this place anymore," I admitted shrugging my shoulders gently.

"OK, so I'll take the car ahead of Elena. Then she will lead them away, and the rest of you will get outside and move the dead walkers away to the spot we decided on before," Glenn finally announced after a moment of silence that surrounded the room.

"I'll tag along," Merle stated casually, and I cocked my brow at him, crossing my arms on my chest.

"Yeah, how about no," I stated coldly.

"Listen, Dollface. Ya go out there, some shit happens, and I'm fuckin' dead when Darlina comes back. Won't matter if ya alive, but if he hears I wasn't there, I'm dead meat. So yeah, I'm goin'."

There was no way of convincing Merle to fuck off and stay in prison. Especially after he made a valid point that he won't be much help with hauling bodies with just one hand. Lots of crap, that's what it was. His left arm is strong enough, and bastard knows it, or he could drive a car with bodies. Anything but being in a closed of space with me for hours with Captain Dipshit.

Alright, now I'm just babbling and whining like a little baby. Breathing in deeply, I threw my pack into the back of a car and took the driver's seat, placing my MP5 on my lap. I reached out into the glove compartment and checked a few CD's wondering what would be the best choice. Something with a great beat. Why not go with good old Motorhead? Worked once, right?

Merle finally took a seat next to me and shut the door. "I see ya picked music, great choice, Sugar."

I hummed in response and glanced at him. He was smirking in his typical, cocky way, but his jaw was tense, clenched together.

"You nervous?"

"Pff, ain't nothin' to be nervous about."

Rick made his way to the car, and I pulled down the window so he could talk to us. He leaned in, propping his forearms on the door, and smiled gently.

"We are all ready. Glenn is already on the road. Most of us are inside. Once you're gone, we gonna start moving bodies. Keep in contact."

"Any news from Daryl?" I don't even know why I asked, I had a radio too, and there was no communication so far.

"No, but they were checking around Thomaston. That's in a different direction, so nothing to worry about."

"Great, well off we go then, sheriff. I'll see you." I turned on the engine, and slowly we made our way through the gate.

We took one of Woodbury's tracks, which had extra metal slabs all around them for protection. We rolled down windows, just a little so music would be able to reach walkers and finally get out through the front gate. I stopped the car a few yards from it and pressed play, the blazing guitar sounds coming out of the speakers. For good measure, I held my hand hard on a horn, hoping it will be enough.

I glanced around at the mirrors and noticed that walkers started to move away from the fences and slowly stumbled towards the car. I grinned widely at Merle and moved slightly forward, not lifting my hand from the horn.

It was slow and mentally painful, sitting in the car with Merle and super loud music, walkers right behind us, but I felt more alive than I did in the last few weeks. Dixon was bobbing his head to the melody, and I snorted at that view. Of course, our resident hillbilly is a fan of metal.

"Glenn, how's our road?" I asked through the walkie-talkie when we were about to turn off the interstate.

" _I'm back. Follow Chipley Highway and then turn right to Winter Road. Floor it and come back to us,_ " Glenn replied, and I nodded, looking at Merle, making sure he heard it.

"Rodger. I'll let you know when we're on our way back."

"We're nearly there, Doll. Let me tell ya, this is the most borin' field trip I ever took."

"I'm sorry, Hook. Noone was making you come along. I'd be just fine, you know that," I told him, scrunching my face at him. A herd of walkers followed us slowly, shuffling, and reaching their rotten arms as if they could grab us. There were dozens of them, and I hoped that we got all of them to go with us. I stopped continually pressing the horn, using it only so often, when some were trying to split from the group.

"Elena!" The urgency in Merle's voice pulled me from the dreamland, and I didn't even have time to realize that probably for the first time since we met, he used my given name. Fuck, fuck. There were at least two dozen geeks blocking our way forward. There were still about half a mile away, but we were trapped. I slammed the breaks and held my hand to Merle, passing him my MP5. His eyes went wide, and he shook his head.

"No way in hell, I can do shit from this position, Doll." He waved at me his knife hand, and I cursed profusely.

"Get in here," I ordered and was already half-standing, lifting my leg to swap places with him.

Merle grunted something and awkwardly got under me, his left hand gripping my hip harshly, shoving me towards his vacant spot. I stumbled a little and hit my head on the door. Wincing in pain, I bit my lower lip and pulled down the window all the way.

"OK, Hook. The back herd gets too close to us, you have to start driving. I got the front," I told him and started getting out of the window.

"Can't we just slam into them?"

"Too many, what if they get stuck under the hood? Just drive!" I sat down, my ass hanging out, and held on to the roof rack with my left hand. Gripping my automatic with my right, I propped it against my hip. Once Merle started slowly moving forward, I squeezed the trigger, holding it down. The rapid-fire of bullets flew and hit walkers in front of us. I didn't have a proper hold on a weapon, but I didn't go through all my training for nothing.

Geeks ahead of us started dropping to the ground, creating a path for us, and I realized how loud it was out here. I could hear the music coming out of the car, but the walkers' growls seemed to be the most deafening noise. I kept my finger on a trigger until the gun clicked, empty. I was about to get down back inside when Merle cursed loudly, and my head snapped to the left. Herd from the back was way closer than I thought. Way closer, considering that one of the geeks was nearly next to me, reaching his hand towards me.

I screamed loudly and threw the gun inside, scooping closer to the right. I didn't have time to react or get inside. Merle revved the engine and sped up, and just like that, I was flying. I yelped in surprise and stumbled backward, my back hitting the door hard. The only reason I didn't hit the ground was because I managed to hook my foot on the headboard of the passenger's seat.

I tried to pull myself up, but the speed and wind were working against me. "Merle!" I shouted and strained my belly muscles, trying to hold my head away from the road. And then we were riding over the bodies I just shot down, making my foot slip. I was freely screaming now because the only thing that held me in place was my boot, which got stuck in the headboard. I was getting dizzy, and the blood from walkers was hitting me everywhere, in my face, arms, neck.

And then we were stopping once again, so I stretched my arms, touching the ground and holding myself. "Unhook me, dipshit!"

I felt Merle's hand on my leg, and seconds later, my foot slipped from my boot, and I was free. I slid down slowly and twisted myself to my knees. Not wasting any moment, I got up and yanked the door open, jumping into the car. My heart was racing, and I just stared right ahead.

"Ya good?" Merle asked me, and I could hear the fear in his voice. I glanced at him, noticing droplets of sweat on his forehead, and his left hand was gripping the wheel just a bit too tight.

"Yeah, let's finish it off. Where the hell is my shoe?" I answered, nodding my head vigorously, trying to convince him and myself. My heart was hammering in my chest, and breathing was hard, my thoughts still full of images of my body gnawed by walkers in the middle of this road.

"Back seat."

"Great, I don't need it anyway right now. Just drive, Merle."

Older Dixon put the car in gear, and we started moving once again, herd right behind us, and I slummed in the seat, breathing out in relief.

"Merle?"

"Yeah?"

"If you going to say anything to Daryl, I'll make sure that your junk won't ever work again."

**Day 398**

We didn't speak about the incident to anyone, even the council. I guess threatening Merle to cut off his dick works magic. I might have to use it more often; it seems like an excellent bargaining chip. Since the day we led the walkers away, we managed to stay on top of that issue. Sure, we still worked on a fence daily, but it wasn't as big of a problem anymore.

Daryl came back in the meantime. They brought some supplies that they managed to find on the way back. He came back, and I could see that he looked more and more hunted every time he returned. On the other hand, Katana was even more closed off and angry, though she managed to keep looking for comic books for Carl. It was like he was the only reason she kept coming back.

But Daryl was losing his hope, I could see it in his eyes, and it was slowly breaking my heart looking at him.

I climbed the stairs leading to my cell. After working on strengthening the fences today and planning our next runs with Glenn, I was exhausted. I just had some quick dinner and was ready to hit the bed and just go to sleep.

When I got to my cell, I noticed that curtain was slightly pulled aside, and I could hear quiet sobbing coming out of there. I furrowed my brows, and my hand automatically went to my gun, still in the holster, but I was ready to yank it out if needed.

Slowly I pulled the sheet aside and stepped inside, releasing a breath I didn't know I was holding. Lucy was lying down on my bed, curled up in a ball, and she was crying quietly. Silently I crossed the small room and crouched down in front of her.

The girl was growing fast, and everywhere she went, it was like a gust of fresh air. Always sweet and polite, her smile could brighten every room, and my heart long to hear her laugh. I only imagined how it sounded, as she was too shy, even with other kids, and so far managed just tine smiles. She still didn't talk a lot, following me around, and surprisingly every time Daryl came back, she was observing him carefully. The hunter definitely noticed but ignored it as well as he could.

But she never was brave enough to actually get into my cell. Lucy sometimes ventured into C, and I suspected that either Beth or Carol showed her which room is mine.

I never was in this situation. Sometimes I had to talk and babysit kids during working on a case, but never someone I had to be around the next day. And Lucy was a sweet, little angel, and listen to her cries was making me nearly tear up as well.

"Lucy, sweetie, what's wrong?" I asked her softly, caressing her beautiful curls. Lucy lifted her face at me and sniffled before throwing her little arms around my neck, nearly making me fall. I circled her waist with my right arm and shifted, so I was sitting on a bed with a girl on my lap.

"Mama, bad dream," She mumbled in my chest, and I held her closer, rocking gently.

"And where's Ellen?"

"Ellen mean. I want mama," The girl answered, and I sighed silently. Slowly I stood up and walked out of the cell, glancing down, spotting Axel, who was just leaving his room.

"Hey," I spoke up, catching his attention, and I pointed at Lucy. "Could you find Ellen and tell her I got her?"

"Sure thing, boss. You need anything?" He replied, smiling broadly at me, but I just shook my head and went back inside. I layed down on a bed, with the girl still clenching to my shirt.

"Lucy, sweetie. You know I'm not your mama, right?" I asked her quietly and watched her bottom lip tremble while she nodded. "But I'll protect you and take care of you. Just like everyone else in here will. We are one big family here, alright?"

I wasn't sure how much she understood from what I said, especially when she pressed her soft tiny hand to my cheek and whispered 'mama'. I closed my eyes to stop the tears, and I felt like something was tugging at my heart.

That was so not the plan. Yeah, sure, I missed Amelia greatly and thought of never again having my own kid hurt. But it was something I put to rest, back in Palmetto, with Daryl by my side. And when we started this relationship, he stated that he didn't want kids. He was great with Judith and Carl, but it's different, being a cool uncle and being a parent. And I loved Daryl. That one was clear to me as a clear blue sky on a sunny day, even if I never told him that.

So why was I thinking of potentially jeopardizing what we had, what I was craving since the day we met? Why was I thinking of storming to Ellen's cell and grabbing all of Lucy's things and moving them in here? How would he react if I would say that I want that little girl to be a part of our life? It's not something you just throw at another person. And what if he would say no, what would it mean for us?

I let the shaky breath out and opened my eyes, staring at the face of a girl lying in my arms. I shuffled a little, so she was closer to the wall, on her side. Turning on my side and propping myself on an elbow, I started caressing her locks.

I could hear people moving around in the cellblock, Beth's soft singing, probably trying to put Judith to sleep. Quiet conversations of the people I cared about but glancing down, Lucy was my only priority at the moment.

"Once upon a time," I started, hoping to get her back to sleep. "There was a princess, but she was not ordinary. No, she didn't need saving, and she was very brave. She always thought that she doesn't need anyone to keep her safe. She didn't need a knight in shiny armor. And so she went through her life being independent, helping people in her Kingdom. But her parents feared she will be alone because, with all her bravery and independence, she wasn't easy making friends."

"And?" Lucy's sleepy voice asked when I paused for a moment, thinking about the next part of the story. I smiled softly at her and held her closer, listening to her breathing.

"And one day came when Princess was forced to work with other people. She didn't really like them at first and didn't want to get too close because she was afraid she'll get hurt. But eventually, those people became her family. And there was her prince, her knight in shiny armor. But he wasn't really a knight. He was a hunter, a very good one."

"Like Dare?" Lucy interrupted me, and I giggled, pushing hair out of her face.

"Just like Daryl, yes. And he didn't like people even more than Princess. And that was something that intrigued her, pulled her to the Hunter. Like I said, she wasn't a lady that needed to be saved, but she felt safer with the Hunter. So she stuck around and tried really hard to become friends with him. And Princess had indeed few close calls that made Hunter save her life, but she also helped him and more than once rescued him from the bad situation. And then suddenly, in the heat of a battle to keep their Kingdom together, they realized they mean more to each other than just friends. So they finally admitted their feelings and lived happily ever after."

I sighed softly when I noticed that Lucy fell asleep, and slowly I pulled away, shuffling away from the bed. I placed a blanket over her small body and stood up, turning around. My heart nearly leaped out of my chest, and I yelped in surprise, slapping my hand over my mouth to muffle the sound.

"The hell you doing?" I whispered and pushed Daryl out of the cell to make sure we won't wake up Lucy. It took my brain a second after we stood there in front of our room to process that Daryl was standing right in front of me. I smiled brightly and threw my arms around his neck, hugging his firm body to mine.

It took Daryl less than a second to circle his arms around my waist and entangle me in a tight hug. I nuzzled my face in his neck, taking in his familiar scent. He was home, here in real life.

"How long did you stand there?" I asked, finally pulling away, staring into his blue eyes.

"The beginnin' of yur story, Princess." Oh, God, how did I missed his deep voice. I could feel it vibrate deep in his chest, and I climbed up on my tiptoes, giving Daryl a soft kiss on the lips. That soft kiss deepened very quickly when he tangled his hand in my hair and tilted my head to get better access. Seems like he missed me as much as I missed him.

Finally pulling away for him, I rubbed his scruffy cheek, and he pressed his forehead to mine.

"I liked that story."

"Mm, did you know?"

"Yeah, I didn't know she calls me Dare," Daryl said, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, and I hummed, stiffening a giggle.

"Well, she's young and can't pronounce your name. Look, I'm sorry that she's in there. I wouldn't let her stay if I knew you'd be coming back," My voice was low, and my insides twisted from nervousness.

"Hey, hey. Stop, El. What ya think I'll do now?" Daryl asked me and pushed a loose curl behind my ear. "I ain't gonna kick kid out. She's really attached to ya."

"Yeah, I don't know what to do," I replied, pulling away gently, shifting in my spot.

"How I see it, we're all family. And she's part of that. I ain't care if she sleeps in there every so often."

I bit my lip and nodded my head. Not permanent. And it's OK, Lucy will still be around. And we can be a cool aunt and uncle every so often. That definitely can be enough for me.

"How did it go?" I asked him, finally taking in his posture and how he looked like. Daryl was dirty but no more than usual, and there weren't any visible injuries, which put me a little at ease.

"Didn't find him," Daryl sighed heavily and shook his head. "I spoke to Michonne on the way back. She'll keep the search, but I'm gonna stop. No, I gotta stop. I wanna be here, help ya and the others."

I furrowed my brows and searched his eyes with mine. They were hidden under his hair, and he was chewing on his lower lip as if he was unsure of my reaction.

"Are you sure that this is what you want?" I asked him slowly, and Daryl nodded sharply.

"I'm sure, woman. Ya need me here, and I need to be with ya." With that, he pulled me back into his arms. I grinned like a crazy person and rubbed my hands on his chest, over his shirt.

"You know, I'll support whatever you decide, Big Boy. Let's go to bed."

"Um, yeah. How's that gonna work?" He asked me, and I rose my eyebrow at him.

"She's tiny. We can fit on that bed. And you can go one night without sex."

I took my shoes off and pulled my pants off, getting under the blanket next to Lucy. I scooped as close to her as possible, so there was enough space for Daryl behind me. And just moments after, he climbed in the bed, his strong hand wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

It felt so natural, having him and Lucy next to me, like everything was falling into place. There was this beautiful child right next to me, and even though she wasn't ours, she needed someone to take care of her, and maybe with time, Daryl would be alright with it. I had the man that means everything to me, and he was about to stay in here for me. I was happy, falling asleep with a small smile on my lips.


	56. Chapter 56

**Day 441**

"Don't move, or I'll blow her brains out," Shaky voice behind me definitely belongs to a man, but there was hesitation in it, and a grip on my neck wasn't firm. This day started well, so how did I found myself in that situation? In a grasp of a stranger who had a gun trained on Daryl? Well, let me tell you.

We have taken the car and went for a run, just Daryl and I. Life was good since he stayed behind. I loved waking up in his arms, with his face nuzzled in my neck. He was participating in meetings, helping upgrade prison, taking shifts on a watch and fences. And of course, every morning he and I went for a hunt, first checking my snares and then seeing what else we can catch.

So, yeah, Daryl kept busy, as always, but at least I saw him a few times during the day. My mind was at ease, knowing that he was around. Daryl went on a few runs with Glenn, and people at the prison appreciated him.

But that was our first supply run in a long while, and it was just two of us, so I decided to get the best out of it. Now I was staring at the man beside me driving a car, his arm propped on the window, smoking a cigarette. I already finished mine and focused on admiring Daryl's muscles flexing with every small move. It was already September, but in Georgia, it still meant that days were hot; that's why Daryl was still sporting sleeveless shirts with a vest over them. I ditched my purple flannel and had only a grey wife beater on with dark blue cargo pants.

"Why ya starin'?" Daryl asked in a husky voice, squeezing the wheel a bit harder. I already discovered that he liked when I was looking at him. At the beginning of our friendship, he often would get flustered, but now that I know how he felt about me, I think he was getting hot and tried to hide it.

"Hm, just admiring," I admitted with a lazy smile over my lips, reaching out and tracing my hand up and down his thigh.

"What ya doin', woman?" I purred lowly when I heard how his voice dropped, and his eyes snapped to mine. I could see hunger and lust in them, most definitely mirroring my own.

"Do you know it was exactly nine days since the last time you touched me?" I asked him, and my hand went higher, slowly getting closer to his crotch. And there was a growing bulge in there.

"I touched you this morning, El."

"Yeah, cuddle and peck on my lips before you went for your morning watch. That's not what I mean, Big Boy, and you know that."

"Huh, and what would ya possibly mean by that?" He asked and suddenly stopped the car on the side of the road, finally facing me. I smirked and reached under his seat, pulling the handle to move his chair backward.

Daryl huffed when it moved, and in a split second, I was sitting on his lap, tangling my hands in his hair. "Hi."

"Hey. Ya wanna do it here?" I was already unbuttoning his shirt, tracing my fingers over the hair on his broad chest. I leaned in and bit gently on his earlobe.

"Why not?" I looked around for a second and went back to stare into his bright eyes. "There aren't any walkers around, no people. Not that a patrol will come and arrest us for public nudity."

Daryl scoffed and ever so slowly unclipped my reins, pulling my knives off and grabbing the hem of my shirt. I helped him take it off, leaving me only in a blue cotton bra. I watched his eyes glaze over with lust, and finally, I couldn't stop myself from kissing him. I loved the feeling of his warm, slightly chapped lips on mine. It was like a spark of electricity flowing through all parts of my body, to the very core of my being.

I kissed him back with as much vigor. I was starved for him, for his lips and his touch, to feel his skin on mine. My tongue darted out, and I traced Daryl's bottom lip; he knew what I wanted, needed, and immediately gave me access. I pressed myself closer to him and thrust my hips into his, feeling that bulge in all right places.

Daryl gripped my hair and pulled at them, separating us, giving him access to my neck. He planted wet kisses over my racing pulse, nipping at my collarbone, while his other hand went to the clasp of my bra. After a moment, he was pulling the straps down, exposing my breasts and erect nipples. I heard Daryl intake a sharp breath, and I closed my eyes, arching my back when his lips closed over my peak.

I moaned loudly when he sucked and licked at my breast, and I reached down, pulling at his belt, quickly opening it. I didn't care for slowness, gentleness; pure feral urge was running through my veins. I pushed away from Daryl and straightened out as much as I could in the enclosed space of a car. Holding myself up on my left arm, I worked quickly on my pants, and with Daryl's help, they went down in no time. I kicked off my boots and trousers while hunter lifted his hips up, getting his pants and boxers off in one swift motion.

Not wasting any more time, I climbed back on his lap, reaching between us, slowly stroking his hard length. How something so hard and powerful could be so smooth and soft at the same time? Daryl groaned in pleasure and gripped my hips ruffly, trying to pull me closer to him.

"Don't play games with me, girl," Shivers went down my spine from how his voice made me feel, and I smiled lovely at him.

"So impatient," I rubbed my already drenched folds over the red head of his cock and finally slowly lowered myself onto him, gasps escaping both of our lips.

"God, ya're beautiful." Daryl moved his hands over my back and down to my ass, gripping tightly. I moved slowly up, nearly letting him slip out, and then slammed back down, getting all of him inside me. I held onto Daryl's shoulders and bounced slowly in his lap. The feeling of his hard dick made me moan every time he hit that sweet spot in my core.

"Daryl, God, I missed you," I managed to say, his hips meeting my pace and snapping every time I lowered myself. His lips nipped on my skin, and I screamed in ecstasy when they latched onto my nipple. I arched my back and held onto his shoulders tighter, picking up my pace; Daryl's grip on my ass hardened, and he helped me move on him.

I felt everything, every touch, every lick over my erect peek, and how he sucked on it, not being gentle at all. Feeling his swollen cock inside me, stretching my walls, I couldn't stop the moans that were coming out of me. It was hard and fast fuck, no time for gentleness, but that's what we both needed right now.

I threw my hand around Daryl's neck and pushed my breasts towards his mouth once more, screaming his name when he bit gently on it. His arm was around my waist, helping me move, and his other hand wrapped in my hair, pulling it down, keeping me in place.

"Come all over this dick, Princess." Oh God, his voice was like liquid gold, touching my soul, and when he spoke dirty like that, I couldn't help to get wetter. I grind my hips onto his harder and faster while he sucked and kissed my neck, for sure leaving marks on my skin.

"Not without you, Big Boy," My voice was husky, and Daryl snapped his hips up faster, and just like that, I was there, clenching around him and moaning his name over and over again. I pressed my face into the crock of his neck and felt Daryl shudder under me, his cock pulsing and twitching inside me.

"El, of God," He was gripping me tightly and breathing heavily; his chest was sweaty, and so was mine. I grinned brightly and pushed the hair out of his face, planting a small kiss on his lips.

"You're amazing, Daryl Dixon," I told him lowly, and I could see a spark in his eyes.

"Ya're the most beautiful woman I ever saw." My chest swelled with emotion, and I almost told him right there that he is the love of my life, but I wasn't sure if that's the right time. If Daryl was ready for it. So I just kissed him harder once more and slowly moved off his lap to the passenger's seat.

I giggled like a little girl when I was putting my clothes back on, sneaking glances at the man beside me.

Soon we were back on the road, smoking another cigarette until we came upon a small town. Daryl parked outside a convenience store that looked like it might still have some supplies in.

I got out and stretched my back, the sound of popping made me cringe. I glanced around and notched an arrow on my bow, noticing few abandoned cars and some bodies near the building we were about to get in.

"Daryl," I whispered and pointed towards them, and he nodded in acknowledgment. We had to be careful; it seemed like there might be some people around. I crossed the street towards the black car that was parked a few yards from us and frowned.

There was no dust on the vehicle, and the inside seemed fairly tidy. I walked around it to the front and touched the hood, and I winced quickly, pulling away.

"Still warm," I told Daryl and pulled my bow around my front, taking out my Glock, screwing the suppressor in place. I followed the hunter to the entrance and watched him get inside first. He brought up his crossbow and scanned the room quickly, not seeing any immediate danger. There were three isles, and he went right while I took a left, my hands gripping the gun tightly.

I moved forward silently, not seeing anyone around. The store was half-covered in dark, shelf still filled with some supplies, but that's not what we were looking for right now. I crept slowly to the corner and stepped out, my gun pointed forward. I sighed heavily and stuffed a laugh when I noticed Daryl pointing his weapon at me.

He huffed and shook his head, but just moments later, his expression shifted, and I didn't have time to process it. An arm wrapped around my neck, pulling me closer to someone's chest, and I heard a familiar sound of a bullet being loaded into the chamber.

"Don't move, or I'll blow her brains out," Male, but his voice was shaky, and the fact he wasn't holding on to me too tightly made me believe that he wasn't very experienced in this. Daryl was fuming, the hand holding his crossbow was shaking, and his jaw was clenched, lips pressed into a deep scowl.

"Daryl, put it down," I said softly, holding my gaze on his eyes, making sure that he knows I am alright. Slowly, grunting, the hunter bent down and placed his weapon on the ground. I stood still, not wanting to aggravate the guy behind me anymore.

"Good, now you lady."

"Um, you'd have to bend down with me. I have one already in the chamber, don't want it to shoot when I drop it," I spoke gently, hoping that he will believe me. I kept my eyes on Daryl when I felt the man behind me loosen his grip, and he shifted to my side. I started bending and gently placed my gun on the floor. I took a deep breath and nodded to Daryl, a barely visible movement of my head.

In a split second, my arms shoot up to the hand holding a sidearm, and I twisted his wrist to the right, pinching on a nerve, making him drop the weapon. He yelped in pain, and I pushed my elbow into his diaphragm. His arm released me, and I twisted swiftly, holding onto the man's shoulder and bringing my knee to his crotch. He stumbled back and, with a groan, collapsed to the ground.

I quickly picked up my gun and pointed it at the person lying by my feet, furrowing my brows.

"Seriously? This kid got a jump on us?" I asked out loud and felt Daryl's hand on my shoulder.

"Ya alright?" His voice was strained, and I could hear the worry in it, but I didn't dare to lift my eyes from our attacker.

"Yeah, he didn't want to hurt me. I think."

"I didn't," The guy grunted in pain, still pressing his hands to his junk. He shifted a little, and I could finally see his face. He couldn't be more than twenty, which made me angry; the fact that someone so inexperienced surprised me.

"Well, sure, it looked like it, kid," I snarked at him, cocking my eyebrows.

"There were two of you; you got like million knives, and the guy looks like he could chew me up for lunch. I have my pack on the other side of the store. I just wanted to get out of here in one piece, Ma'am."

"Did he just fucking called me Ma'am?" I asked Daryl, and he hummed in reply, making me scoff.

"That yur car outside?" Daryl asked the man on the floor, and he nodded, slowly sitting up, raising his hands up in surrender.

"Yeah, got it from my old man."

"It's in good shape."

"He taught me a few things about cars. I'm Zach."

I exchanged glances with Dixon and nodded softly. This kid was no danger, he could hurt us when we weren't looking, and his hostage fiasco proved it.

"I'm Elena, and that's Daryl. You alone, kid?" I asked him and studied him for his body language. He was still on the floor and probably in some pain, but when I asked the question, he lifted his face to me and looked me right in the eyes.

"Yeah, for about four months now. My group got overrun. We were supposed to meet up. I waited for a week before moving on."

I nodded and sent him a sad smile at that. We all lost someone to this apocalypse, and we probably will lose more. Not something to think about right now, though.

"How many walkers did you kill?" I asked him softly, and even though Daryl tensed next to me, he didn't stop me from doing it.

"I dunno, hundred? I'm good with a gun and a machete," Zach replied, and I smiled brighter at that.

"And how many people did you kill?"

Kid furrowed his brows and glanced between Daryl and me as if unsure if he heard me right.

"One," He finally admitted and lowered his gaze to his hands, playing with his fingers.

"Why?"

"So he won't turn."

"What you think?" I asked Daryl, and bitting on his bottom lip, hunter nodded, a small smile tugging on his lips.

"What's with twenty questions, anyway?" Zach asked, and I outstretched my hand to him, helping him to get to his feet.

"We got a safe place," I finally told him, and his eyes went wide, his face showing surprise and disbelief. "If you want, we could take you with us, kid."

"Are you for real? And also, I'm pretty sure somewhere in this apocalypse I turned twenty-one, I can drink. I ain't a kid."

"Sure, keep telling yourself that."

"I'm gonna come with ya," Daryl said, watching Zach intensely. "We gonna chat about threatenin' my woman."

I snorted and shook my head at that, starting to pack supplies from the shelves onto the bags we brought with us.

**Day 461**

I was sitting around one of the tables outside of the prison, and I was having a girly chat with Carol, Maggie, and Beth. We were eating our lunch and watching men work the fences. They were far away from our spots to not hear us, but close enough to admire the view. I could see how Maggie's eyes shone every time they landed on Glenn, who laughed at something that Oscar said. I thought they were annoying love birds before we got to the prison, but since they announced that they are married, it got worse.

"I wonder what they laughing about," Carol mentioned, putting some meat in her mouth and chewing slowly.

I turned around and observed the men and their body language. Glenn, Oscar, and Tyressee were laughing, their shoulders shaking, while Zach was patting Daryl on the back, earning himself a deadly stare. OK, I didn't see it from here, but I knew Dixon well enough to know that this is what happened.

I faced the women again, knowing that my face is bright red, and I cleared my throat. "I think they're teasing Daryl."

"Ahh, that makes sense," Maggie nodded, and Beth giggled like a schoolgirl.

" _Oh, Daryl, harder_ ," Carol started, lowering her voice and changing her southern accent.

"I don't sound like that," I mumbled and stuffed my mouth with food, avoiding their eyes. All three of them laughed out loud, and I just rolled my eyes at that. Sometimes they really behaved like kids.

"We are still quieter than you and Glenn," I said, pointing at Maggie, and Carol snorted unladylike but nodded vigorously.

"Eli's right, Mags. And you do it like everywhere."

"Fine, whatever. How's Lucy?" Maggie deflected, changing the subject, and I winked at the younger Greene, who was muffling her giggles with her hand.

"She's fine. I think her nightmares slowly disappearing, and putting her in a cell with Judith was a great idea. She really likes her, and it's easier to manage them when they're together. Thank you for your help, Beth."

"She's delightful, so no problem."

"Hello, ladies. What you talking about?" Glenn's voice beamed from behind me, and Maggie automatically brightened up, smiling like a lunatic. Carol laughed, and I hid my face in my hands, and I felt a body scoot close to my side and grip at my knee. I peaked through and noticed a grim look on Daryl's face, making me blush even more profusely.

"I guess ya were talkin' about what we were," He whispered, and I scoffed, nodding and putting my hands down.

"Yeah, I guess we need to keep it down from now on, Big Boy."

"Ya can't keep it down, woman."

"Daryl!" I slapped his arm playfully and laced my fingers with his, looking around at happy faces around us. Life in prison was good; our family was safe and content, as much as we could in a zombie apocalypse.

"OK, it's time," Zach sat down opposite us, between Carol and Beth, and I didn't miss how he was glancing at the younger Greene, and I smirked. Ever since we brought him back, something was cooking between him and Beth. The girl was careful and flirted back, without actually making any moves, so far.

"Time for what?" Rick and Carl took a seat at the end of a bench, plates in their hands and glancing around curiously.

"I try to guess what Elena and Daryl did before the turn. I mean, I tried to get some answers from a few people, but no one seems to know," Zach replied, staring Daryl down and tapping his finger on his beard. Only a handful of people knew who I was before, and they knew I wasn't a fan of telling it to others, so luckily, they kept their mouths shut.

"Hm, Construction worker," Zach stated, pointing at Daryl, who raised an eyebrow at him and shook his head. The boy's shoulders slacked, but he took a deep breath and moved his eyes to me. I got more comfortable in my seat and placed a cocky smile over my mouth.

He was taking his time, one shot a day. So far, he tried a PA teacher, politician, shop manager, police officer, and a soldier.

"Alright, with how you handle those knives, Circus knife-thrower."

I stared at him with wide eyes for a few seconds and then burst into a laughing fit, alongside everyone else.

"No, kid. But I would be awesome at that," I told him. He sighed heavily and picked up at his food. "Seriously, guys, we could make a show of it. You going to be my ever-loyal assistant, Big Boy."

"Ya ain't throwing those things at my face, Princess," Daryl grunted, but there was a shadow of a smirk on his lips.

"But it would be fun, Daryl! We could put an apple on your head. Oh, oh, I could try with my bow as well!"

"I'm gonna try tomorrow again," Zach mumbled, interrupting my fantasy with a miserable face.

"Ya do that, kid," Daryl told him, chewing on a slice of meat and chuckling silently to himself.

Yes, prison life was good so far, and people seemed to finally put the war with the Governor behind us. We had supplies, jobs, and a semi-normal life. I glanced at Daryl, reminiscing that a year ago, he wouldn't be comfortable enough to sit around so many people without being a tense mess. I smiled to myself and went back to my food.


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, from today London and surrounding counties are entering tier 4, so basically another fucking lockdown. I understand why, I get the safety reasons and that cases in this area increased tremendously, but for fuck sake. For the past three weeks, I bust my ass at work, took so much overtime that I barely saw my husband and kid, just to find out that Christmas is canceled. Don't get me wrong, we expected another lockdown, but not before Christmas. The only thing that people were looking for in these grim times.
> 
> On top of that, writing season four provides a real challenge, I'm not sure why but I really struggle with fitting Elena in there. Hopefully, once we get to season five it'll pass. Hope you'll enjoy it and sorry for my vent.

**Day 483**

I shifted my weight from one leg to another and stared the woman in front of me down, my lips pressed in a thin line, trying to not show any emotions. In fact, I tried my best to not burst out laughing, but Carol should be scared for making my life right now miserable.

"It ain't working on me, Eli," She snorted and focused on meat that was slowly cooking on the grill of our open kitchen. In a few weeks, we would probably have to move back inside the cafeteria, with autumn's weather bringing cold chills in the morning and evenings. But for now, we tried to enjoy whatever warmth was left throughout the day.

"All I'm saying, Carol, is that you should get used to it by now, and your attempts at making me uncomfortable are futile," My voice was unshaken, and I cocked one brow at the older woman, trying to prove my point.

"Then you really should turn it down a notch," Came from behind me, and I snorted, facing Maggie as she came around to help herself to some breakfast.

"You, lady, are the last person who can talk. At least I don't have a father in here who has to listen to all that Glenn is doing to you."

"OK, no arguing before breakfast, Eli. But Carol got the point. Usually, you try to keep it down, but last night I bet even D heard you," Maggie replied, wiggling her eyebrows and smirking in my direction.

I couldn't argue with her, and I felt myself blush under their gaze. "Alright, so maybe last night was- um- yeah, we'll try."

"Oh my God, Eli! You never shy away from sex talk," Carol stated and placed a fork down next to the grill, placing her hands on her hips, grinning like an idiot. "What happened?"

"Um- " Luckily, I didn't have to answer that. I heard voices around me, all of them greeting Daryl as he made his way through the courtyard to where we stood.

"Right. I'm off for watch, but we ain't finished with that conversation, Eli," Maggie said in a stern voice, pointing her finger at me, and slowly she walked away towards the guard tower.

A hunk of a man in a dark sleeveless shirt was making his way towards us, his step springy, and there was a soft smile on his lips. It grew bigger when his eyes landed on me, and my heart skipped a beat, my stomach fluttering with excitement, like every time I saw Daryl.

"Well, he seems chirpy this morning," Carol sing-songed, and my eyes landed briefly on her face, narrowing for a moment.

"Shut it, Peltier," I whispered, hoping that Daryl won't realize what we were talking about just moments prior to his arrival.

"Morning, Daryl," I smiled softly at all the voices around us and how much they respected this man I was proud to call mine.

"What's up, Doctor S?" Daryl replied, with a small nod towards our physician, and finally, he was standing there, mere inches from me. His hand went around my shoulder, and he pulled me closer, placing a small kiss on my forehead.

"Ya were gone when I woke up," His husky voice, as always, was sending me to the dreamland, wishing that we were alone on an island, just two of us, so no one would complain about noise volume.

"Merle and I had to check the snares," I answered, placing a kiss of my own just under his jaw. "I think we should move them soon. And maybe tomorrow we could grab the big freezer from the cabin? We should start preparing for the winter."

Daryl nodded, and his eyes went to the food on the grill and to Carol, who was making sure that everything was edible. "Smells good."

Carol cocked her eyebrow and glanced around behind the man, at the people who were still shouting at Daryl. Seriously, it was like being with a celebrity these days. For some reason, I was the one to come to when you needed a severe and business-like conversation, but if you just wanted to chat, they went to Dixon. Fucking ridiculous, if you ask me, considering that just months ago Daryl hated being around others.

"Just so you know," Carol started, and her lips curved into a small smile. She gestured between her and me and continued. "We liked you first."

"Pff," Daryl blushed at her words, and his eyes snapped to me, looking for some kind of reaction, but I just nodded vigorously. "Shut up."

"No, it's true," I defended Carol's statement with a serious note in my voice. "Though, I called dibs."

"El!"

"Oh, she did. I remember back on the farm, Eli was making sure I have zero romantic interest in you," Carol giggled, when Daryl lowered his face in embarrassment, and I gasped at her words.

"Fuck, Carol. Girl code. Some shit just stays between us!" I told her, making her laugh lauder, and I felt Daryl's hand gripping my shoulder just a tad too hard.

"Alright, sorry, guys. But really, Daryl. You're like a hero to a lot of them."

"Ya know Rick brought a lot of 'em too," The hunter replied and snatched a piece of meat from the grill, not bothering with a plate.

"Not recently," Carol's voice grew somber, and we hummed in response. Rick, indeed, took a proper step back those couple of months. He stayed mainly in the outer courtyard, farming and taking care of pigs and a horse Michonne brought back a few weeks ago.

"Well, El did," Daryl argued, trying to steer attention out of himself.

"Oh, I know. But you are a hero to most of them, while she's the Boss."

"Yay, me," I mumbled and followed Daryl's steps taking some meat and plopping it in my mouth.

"Sorry, girl. They all respect both of you. But they see you as a proper authority, harder to connect to you."

"Hey, I'm not complaining," I told them, and it was the truth. I knew my strengths and that people valued my opinion. Not everybody in prison had to fucking like me for my dashing personality, as long as they respected what I had to say.

"Anyway. I need you two to see something. Patrick, you want to take over?" Carol spoke and turned to the teen that was helping her with breakfast this morning. He was sweet and shy, especially for seventeen. He was closer to Carl and other kids in prison than Beth or Zack, who were closer to his age.

The boy nodded and pushed his glasses up, nervous tick I spotted on him when he was around adults. "Yes, ma'am."

We turned around to walk away to wherever Carol needed us to go when Patrick's voice stopped us.

"Mr. Dixon, I just wanted to thank you for bringing that deer back yesterday." I rolled my eyes and shared a smirk with the woman while stepping aside from the hunter's embrace. "It was a real treat, sir. And I'd be honored to shake your hand."

I covered my mouth with my hand, trying to hide my laugh at how stiff Daryl's whole body went, and I noticed that Carol was having the same issue. She was covering it better, though, wrapping her amusement behind an encouraging smile.

Patrick stood there with an outstretched hand, his eyes shining with hope, while Daryl was glancing between the limb and boy's face, unsure what to do. Finally making a decision, he licked his fingers to get rid of grease from the meat he ate and clasp his big hand over Patrick's. I bit on my lip hard, trying not to burst, and watched as they had a moment.

Carol started walking, and I quickly followed her, both of us giggling and bumping shoulders at the scene that we just witnessed.

"Alright, ya two. Shut it," Daryl grumbled, and I raised my eyebrows at him, slowly shaking my head.

"Not a chance, Big Boy. You stole my thunder, made everyone believe it's your deer, so you suffer when I laugh at how uncomfortable it made you."

"We both shot at it, woman," Daryl replied and sneaked his arm around my waist, pulling me close to his side as we walked.

"Yeah. My arrow pierced the lung. And your bolt got the liver. Ergo the deer was mine. But don't worry, I feel generous and allow you to take credit," I teased him, looking up at his face.

"Oh, really. And how generous?" Daryl smirked at me, and I slowly licked my lips, a warm feeling spreading through my body. His voice dropped, and that was enough to send my mind back to last night and how we celebrated our successful hunting.

"God, it's like being around horny teenagers with you two," Carol's voice came from in front of us, but I just sent her a finger, which she snorted at.

We followed the gray-haired woman towards the fences, where several people were working already, stabbing and shoving pointy weapons through the chain-link.

"I'm not sure if we're going to be able to spare a lot of people for the run."

I glanced at the fences where indeed, more and more walkers were crowding, pushing against the metal.

"That place is good to go," Daryl replied, but I could see the worry on his face as he took in the view. "We've gotta move on it."

"Yeah. But the build-up was pretty big overnight. Dozens more towards tower three. It's getting as bad as last time."

"We might need to drive them away again then," I commented and shook my head. It's like every time we get rid of one problem, another one comes right at us. I turned to Carol, and all playfulness was gone from my voice. "We need the Big Spot, every day we attracting more walkers in there, and who knows what else. Take people from the watch, leave only one and four. That's enough to scan the area; they will just have to be more vigilant. And I'll tell Oscar to get his crew and help out on fences today as well."

Carol nodded and hummed, her eyes never leaving the threat in front of us. "Let's see if we can make a dent, but if it doesn't work, we'll have to think of something else."

"I know. Once we back and it's not getting better, I'll talk with Glenn about a possible route. Maybe try to steer them back to Atlanta."

"And that's why ya're the Boss," Daryl stated, making me smile, and we made our way back to the prison to prepare for today's run.

I passed the last bag and fuel canister to Daryl, and he placed them in the tail of a pick-up we were taking with us. I patted myself over, making sure that my knives were in place, and double-checked the mug of my Glock.

"Nothin' changed since last time ya checked," Daryl commented and strapped his bow to the back of the bike, so it won't be stabbing me in my chest while we ride. I rolled my eyes playfully at him and bit my lip.

"Oh, don't pretend you don't find it hot, Big Guy. Woman, who knows how to take care of any gun."

"El," Daryl's voice was low, rumbling in his chest, and his eyes went dark when he stepped closer to me, but Zach's cheerful tones broke us apart.

"Hey, I was just going to find you."

I glanced above Daryl's shoulder and watched as the young man strolled over to Beth, who just appeared, dressed in an apron and carrying pipe, ready to work on the fences.

"Hi," The girl replied, and they shared a kiss, Daryl huffed, and I elbowed him in the ribs, glaring at him. "What's up?"

"Well, the council pulled back everyone on the coal crew from going on the run," Zach replied, glancing quickly in my direction and then refocused on the woman in front of him. "They shorthanded right now. I figured I'd step up to help, go with them. Just you know, I wanted to make sure that I saw you before."

Beth was still smiling softly, but I could see it didn't reach her eyes even from where I was standing. "OK."

"Yeah. I just, because- you know, it's dangerous, going out there."

"I know," Beth nodded in understanding and leaned in, kissing Zach's cheek. After that, she started again for the fences, without even a glance back at her boyfriend. She didn't look at Daryl or me when she passed us, and I scrunched my nose, thinking about her behavior.

"You gonna say goodbye?" Zach shouted after her, confusion set on his face, looking after the young woman.

"Nope," She replied and walked away towards the fences.

Daryl snorted and shook his head, walking back towards the pick-up. "It's like a damn romance novel."

"Right," Zach replied and cocked his eyebrows, his eyes darting between hunter and myself, trying to make a point.

"Shut up," Daryl grunted and threw his bag into the trunk. I laughed at that and patted Zach's shoulder when I passed him to reach where Glenn and Sasha were preparing their transport.

Tyreese and his sister were both going this time, and I noticed the man trying to avoid eye contact with me at all costs. Interesting, I didn't do anything recently that would justify him avoiding me as far as I know.

Suddenly, Bob, our newest member, came out of the prison, with a backpack slung around his shoulder. He seemed cheerful and rose his hand in greeting, his dark eyes landing on Sasha, who propped her forearm on the car's door.

"Hey. I'd like to start pulling my weight around here," Bob announced, and I exchanged glances with Daryl before facing the Black man once more. I zipped my khaki jacket and fixed the strap of my MP5 over my shoulder.

"Bob, it's only been a week," Sasha told him in a stern voice.

"That's a week worth of meals and a roof over my head," The man argued, stepping closer to the ex-firefighter. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked him up and down. "Let me earn my keep."

"You were out on your own when Elena and Daryl found you," Sasha stated calmly, but there was hidden meaning behind her words.

"That's right."

"I just want to make sure you know how to play on a team."

"We ain't gonna do it unless it's easy," Daryl reminded Sasha and walked over to his bike, possibly to ignore the rest of the conversation. He already added his thoughts and felt justified to not participate any longer, like usual. I stepped closer to Sasha and took in Bob's posture. He seemed genuine, and a soft smile never left his lips when he was staring at the woman.

"You know, he was a medic in the Army," Glenn added from the opposite side of the car, and I hummed at that. It's never a bad idea to have someone on the run who knows how to treat wounds.

Sasha pressed her lips into a thin line and glanced to the side at me, a question in her eyes. I shrugged and started walking to Daryl. "It's your run, your call, Sasha."

"You a hell of a tough sell, you know that?" Bob told her, and I struggled to hold in the laugh that threatened to escape my lips. He was spot on. She wasn't trusting easily.

"OK," Sasha finally said, and I got onto the bike, circling my arms around Dixon. I loved being on his bike, to feel the wind in my hair and on my face with his warm body in front of me. I still hoped that he would teach me how to drive it one day, but so far, I was unlucky.

I glanced over my shoulder and noticed that the others already loaded into the vehicles, and I squeezed Daryl's waist a little harder. "We're ready."

Daryl hummed in response and started the bike, slowly driving towards the outer courtyard to the main gates. I smiled widely when I noticed a familiar figure standing next to Rick on a dirt road, and the hunter slowed down, finally stopping next to them.

"Well, look who's back," Daryl commented, and I grinned above his shoulder at the woman.

"Hey, Katana. Long time, no see."

She nodded in my direction, and her eyes landed on Dixon, face turning serious. "Didn't find him."

"Glad to see ya in one piece," Daryl told her straight away, not really bothered with what she told him. I knew that search was essential to him initially, but now our people's safety was a priority, and that included Michonne.

"I'm thinking of looking over near Macon." Rick clenched his jaw and looked away at her words, careful to not say something regretful. I sighed heavily and shook my head. "It's worth a shot."

"70 miles of walkers, ya might run into a few unneighborly types. Is it?" Daryl replied calmly, and I felt the pride of how he dealt with it.

"You can't just go all the way there on a whim. You would be all by yourself, out of our range," I added, trying to convince her to not do it.

"We gonna go check out the Big Spot," Daryl spoke again, this time directing his words to Rick, who nodded in acknowledgment. "The one I was talking about- just seeing."

"Yeah, I gotta go out and check the snares," Rick avoided our stares, and I puffed out a heavy breath.

"Rick, I did it just this morning, there's no need," His eyes snapped to mine, and I saw fear in them for a split second before he put his cop face back on.

"Still worth a shot. And you talked about changing them anyway, I might do that."

"I'll go," Michonne said, and already started for a car parked behind us, but Carl's voice stopped her.

"You just got here!" I almost forgot how attached young Grimes got to Katana, especially after everything that happened with her and Rick when he was considering giving her away to Governor.

"And I'll be back," She replied confidently, with a big smile towards the boy before she got into the car.

We parked our cars and Daryl's bike just outside of the fenced area to the shop we scouted nearly a week ago and slowly made our way towards the entrance. Bob was walking between hunter and me, his eyes scanning over the parking lot's open space. There were abandoned vehicles in there and tents all over the place, making me think how lucky we got at the very beginning. When we were scavenging, it seemed like every spot with even small traces of military had fallen quite early.

My mind wandered back to the early days, how pissed Shane was when he found out I was FBI and how others hoped for any kind of government support. But it seemed like that's what doomed those other people, and again I racked my brain how come that we made it, but those trained units didn't.

"Army came. Put those fences up, made it a place for the people to go," Daryl was explaining to Bob once we stopped by the gate.

"Last week on a search, we noticed it," I added and smirked at the new guy. "It was crawling with walkers."

Bob knitted his brows, and his eyes landed on me. "So they all just left?"

"Give a listen," Sasha added, her gun ready to shoot. I repositioned my own, so I had easy access to it and gripped it tightly, prepared to storm this place. We all stayed quiet for a moment, distanced notes of music echoing around us, and Michonne laughed softly.

"You drew them out."

"Yep. Dropped the boombox right over there," I pointed at the roof with a ramp, and she nodded.

"Hooked it up to two car batteries," Glenn provided. "Found out that with all her knowledge, Elena knows nothing about cars."

I glared at him but smiled none the less. "Yeah, well I managed in the end, didn't I?"

"All right, let's make a sweep," Daryl ordered and walked through the hole in the fence.

I stepped right after him and let my weapon drop to my side, pulling out the machete.

"Let's try to be quiet."

"Grab what ya can. We'll come back tomorrow with more people."

We made our way around the parking lot, checking for any strangles, but there was no walker left, so Daryl quickly made his way towards the door and pounded.

"Just give it a second." The hunter sat down on a short wall near the window, and I leaned my hip next to him, my eyes scouting for any incoming danger. Zach stood close to us, and his eyes narrowed, his face deep in thought. The boy licked his dry lips and finally looked over at us, nodding to himself.

"I think I got it," He told us, and I rolled my eyes.

"Got what?" Michonne asked, coming around and standing next to me, glancing between us for answers. I snorted and smiled in her direction.

"Zach is trying to guess what Daryl and I did before the turn."

"I'm pacing myself. One-shot a day."

"Been tryin' for weeks now," Daryl mumbled and finally looked at the young man. "Alright, let's hear it."

"Right. Elena, with how everyone respects you and listens to you around the prison. And how confident you are with making decisions- politician."

I nearly choked trying not to laugh, but Katana didn't have similar problems, shaking from amusement next to me.

"Yeah- no. Not enough self-control, kiddo," I told Zach, and he sighed heavily, shaking his head in disappointment.

"Fine, fine. Still, I think you lied when you said you weren't a cop."

"I didn't." Daryl gave me a pointed look, and I crossed my arms over my chest, giving him a cold stare. "Fine. And I'm telling you only because your guesses are getting more ridiculous every day."

I trained my eyes on Zach, whose face beamed with excitement to find out the truth, and I cleared my throat before continuing. "I really wasn't a cop. I was FBI."

The man's jaw dropped open, and his eyes searched mine and then darted to Daryl. He pointed the finger at me and huffed, struggling to find words.

"Right, OK. Well, I'll take it as a half-win," Zach finally spoke and then turned and sat down next to Daryl. "Your turn."

"Alright, shoot," As much as Daryl seemed annoyed by a younger man, I knew he enjoyed that part of the day. Yes, sure, he didn't like talking about himself and his past, but that constant bickering and guessing were as enjoyable for Dixon as it was for Zach.

"Well, the way you're at the prison, you being on the council, you're able to track, you're helping people, but you're still kind of- surly. Big swing here," Zach looked over at Michonne and then me for any indication that he's on the right track. "Homicide cop."

I shot my eyes to Katana, who was next to me, and watched her eyes grew wide and then scrunch. We both burst out laughing, but she tried to cover it while I placed my hands on my knees, barely controlling my fit.

"What's so funny?" Daryl asked with a small smirk.

"Nothing, nothing. It makes perfect sense."

"Oh, God. I imagined it!" Was my reply, and Michonne started laughing all over again.

"Actually, the man's right," Daryl said, his voice casual, and I bit my bottom lip harshly, trying to maintain a blank facial expression. "Undercover."

Breathe, Elena. Breathe. I had to shift, so my face won't be visible to the men and shut my eyes tightly, trying not to laugh out loud at what Daryl was saying.

"Come on, really?" Zach's voice was a mixture of excitement and disbelief. Couldn't blame him, he was trying for so long, and this guess was really different from all the other ones.

"Yep. I don't like to talk about it 'cause it was a lot of heavy shit, ya know?" Daryl's blue eyes found mine, and I could see a spark and twinkle in them. He really enjoyed playing along and feeding Zach this bullshit. He winked at me, and I barely managed to keep myself quiet.

"Dude, come on, really?" Finally, Dixon gave the younger man a pointed look, and I breathed out loudly, giggling to myself and shaking my head.

"OK. I'll just keep guessing, I guess."

"Yeah, ya keep doin' that." That was the moment that one of the geeks inside the store decided to throw himself on a window, startling Zach. Daryl stood up and grabbed his crossbow, firmly moving towards the door, whistling at the others.

"We're gonna do this, detective?" Michonne asked mockingly, and I snorted, following behind them.

"Let's do it."

This place was like a blessing, still fully supplied, definitely fell down early on, but no one was willing to get close because of the walker population. I pushed the trolley full of stock out, and with Sasha's help, we loaded the food I gathered onto the pick-up. I smiled at the woman next to me and was ready to say something when we heard a racket coming from inside.

Fear gripped at my heart, and I run back inside, not waiting for Sasha, a shopping cart long forgotten. I got back inside, and my eyes were darting around, trying to find the reason for the noise. I followed Glenn to the wine aisle and noticed Daryl crouching by the shelves that had fallen down.

"You alright?" I asked him, quickly scanning over his body, looking for signs of injury. Daryl was using his torch to check under the wooden structure, but when he heard my voice, he glanced over his shoulder and nodded quickly.

"Yeah. But Bob's trapped under there," Hunter replied, and I gave an involuntary sign of relief. "Ya alright? Ya cut or somethin'?"

"No, man. But, um- my foot is caught," I heard Bob reply, and I automatically walked to the other side and beckoned Sasha with me.

"Alright. He's just caught."

Daryl, Zach, and Tyreese grouped on the opposite side, and together we tried to lift the shelves up to free the man. Glenn came in shouting, trying to find out what happened, but we told him that we are okay. The men picked up the first shelf, giving them clear access to the second one, where Bob was, and I locked my eyes with Daryl, waiting for his signal to start lifting.

"Ready, Big Guy?"

"Yeah, on three."

Before we could start suddenly, part of the roof ripped open to our left, and a walker fell down, caught on the installation, his middle tangled in cables. My eyes widened, and when I looked up, I saw that there was more of them lurking around, waiting to drop down.

"Go, go!" I pushed Sasha and quickly followed her, going to where the others stood. Back there, we would be cornered, with low chances of escaping, trapped between our guys and walkers.

"Yeah, uh, we should probably go. Now," Glenn stated, but I looked down to the shelf still covering the Black man.

"We can't. Bob's still trapped."

"Get him out of there," Daryl ordered, and with Zach, they tried to raise the wooden object while I stretched out and laced my fingers around Bob's forearm. Once I had a good grip on it, I started to pull, but all hell broke loose and other walkers started dropping down. Daryl pulled at my middle and shot his bow at the geek that landed just inches from me.

"Fuck!" I mumbled under my breath and tried to stay calm while bringing my MP5 to the front, flicking the safety off. Access, make a plan, act. "Sasha, Tyreese, make sure the path to the door is clear. Michonne, Glenn, and I will protect the others. Daryl, Zach try to get Bob out. Now!"

I shouted orders quickly and started firing at the walkers that get back to their feet, trying to get to us. In the corner of my eye, I could see Katana dancing, light on her feet, as always and swinging her sword above her head, slicing and dicing.

"Come on! Stay together. Free Bob, and let's get out of here!" I kept shouting, hoping that my voice will reach the others above the growls and sounds of shooting.

Glenn was shooting next to me, and the roof was collapsing more and more with every second. I glanced back and noticed that the men finally freed Bob, and they started making their way to us.

It was like time froze. I could see what was happening, but my reactions were delayed, like in slow motion, I observed the walker that crawled under the shelves. Reaching his bony, decomposed hand out and wrapped it around Zach's ankle, pulling him to the ground. I felt myself wrapping my finger around the trigger, but by then geek bit down on the young man's leg and made his way up, taking a chunk of his shoulder.

There were noises around me, shouts growls, roof falling down, close to collapsing, but all I could see and hear was Zach's outstretched hand and his cries for help.

"El!" I felt the tug on my elbow and finally snapped back to reality when Daryl pulled me harshly towards the entrance. I followed automatically, snapping my eyes back to Zach, one last time, before the sound of cracking echoed in the store and the helicopter fell down to where we stood, just moments prior.

We escaped, but we lost another member of the prison. And Zach- he was sweet and funny. And even though our first meeting wasn't great, I trusted him. He was helping as much as he could back at home, and he was carrying, hard-working man. Oh, God. What am I going to tell Beth? How will I explain that I just stood there, frozen, unable to move while walker was ripping her boyfriend apart?

Like in trans, I felt myself follow Daryl towards his bike while the others crumbled into the cars. I swung my leg around the machine and placed my arms loosely around the hunter's waist.

"Ya alright?" His voice was laced with worry, and I saw him looking at me from above his shoulder. I blinked a few times, and the answer came naturally, without an effort.

"Gotta be. You?"

"Yeah."

"Hm."

I felt numb, and while we drove back, with the wind swirling around me and making my hair swing onto my face, I came to a realization. I wasn't in shock. OK, maybe a little. But not because Zach's death affected me so much. I didn't feel the urge to cry or scream, not anymore. Right now, I was just tired and numb. And that's what put me in shock because the death of people around me was becoming something so natural. And it made me scared, that I didn't feel like crying anymore, becoming numb and cold, someone I didn't want to be.


	58. Chapter 58

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Merry Christmas! I know, it's just the 24th, but in Poland we celebrate today, and with lockdown, in UK and whatnot I got to make it today, not that my husband complains. I'll still try to post on Sunday, so no worries. I wish you all peaceful and healthy Christmas, this year sucked, but hopefully, 2021 will be much better!

**Day 484**  
"Nah."  
I looked sternly at Merle and crossed my arms below my breasts. Daryl next to me snorted and put his vest on, starting to lace his shoes on.  
"What you mean, ' _nah_ '?" I asked the older Dixon and my eyes bore into his blue ones, and I hoped I was as intimidating as I could.  
"Look, Sugar. Ya family, I get that, really. But men sometimes need time to themselves. We hunt together all the time. Ya and me, ya and Darlina, three of us. Now, all I'm sayin' is that I wanna some time with my baby brother, is all," Merle explained slowly as if I were a child, and I scoffed at that, glancing between two men. I raised my eyebrows when my eyes met Daryl's, but he just shrugged, as to say that he's not getting involved in this conversation.  
"Really? And what the hell you two need to talk about that can't be done in here? And how can I be sure that you going to check every single snare? You have a tendency to forgot where we placed them."  
Merle jabbed his thumb in his brother's direction and smirked. "He doesn't. Go relax, maybe go back to sleep, read a book, dunno."  
"Uhh, fine!" I threw my arms up with irritation and placed my bow back on the top bunk, still unhappy with the whole ordeal.   
It was early in the morning, merely six o'clock. Rick's alarm clock sounded around the C block just minutes ago. We were getting ready to go for our morning hunt when Merle, the dick, decided that I should stay behind.  
I strapped a machete to my waist and placed a quick kiss on Daryl's lips, and then pushed out of the cell, bumping my shoulder into the older Dixon's.  
"Where ya goin'?"  
"Fuck knows, maybe I'll help Rick, now that you don't want me around you," I stated and pressed my lips together. Yeah, that was super bitchy of me, but Merle deserved it.  
I crossed the cellblock silently and pushed the door open, bringing my hand to my eyes when the sun hit my face. I tugged at my jacket, hoping to cover myself from the morning breeze, and started walking down towards the fields. I could see Rick and Carl right in front of me, and I jogged to catch up.  
"Wait for me!" I yelled, and they stopped looking back, both sending me small smiles as I got to them.  
"Not hunting today?" Rick asked when we started walking again, and I shook my head.  
"No. Dixons want a men time. What the hell it means, Rick?" I asked the sheriff, and he laughed at my displeasure.  
"It's the time men use to get away from their women," His voice was laced with amusement, and I whipped my head to the right to look at him properly.  
"Oh, because I'm so hard to live with?"  
"Whoa, it's not me you're angry with," Rick answered, and Carl giggled under his breath. "And that's not what I said. Truth be told, they didn't really have much time to spend with each other since we found Merle. It could be good for them."  
"Right." I took a deep breath and pushed my anger down. It wasn't worth it. I just hoped that Merle won't give Daryl any stupid ideas or that he won't blab what we talked about those few months back. I still didn't tell hunter that I love him, and I swear if Hook spoils it for me, I'll kill him.  
"Careful out there," Rick said in a strained voice, and I looked ahead to where Michonne was leading Alma, our horse, out. I sighed heavily, really hoping that she would stay and try to connect with us more. It was months since we scared Governor away, and he wasn't anywhere near. Chances were that he died, and now she just looks for a walker. In my opinion, she only runs away because she's scared of getting too close to people, something I could relate to, but it was a dangerous way those days.  
"Bring me chocolate?" I told her and winked, making her roll her eyes.  
"If there's any left, you can be sure I'll eat it before I come back," Michonne replied, and I laughed at that, nodding to myself. "Any other requests?"  
"Stale M&M's?" Carl joked with the woman, and she shook her head.  
"Sure, I'll look for some stuff you like, too. Why don't you wear your hat anymore?" I glanced between Grimes' and lowered my head, trying not to get involved in this conversation. I knew why, Carl told me a few weeks ago, but it was in my office, in confidence.  
"It's not a farming hat," He replied casually, but I knew he tried to steer her away from the real reasons. "See you soon?"  
"Pretty soon."

We were working for maybe fifteen minutes, pulling weeds out. Rick and I kneeled down on the ground while Carl stood next to us with a bucket. It was nice and sort of calming, but it wasn't the same as being out there, between the trees with a soft moss under my shoes. I sighed quietly and pulled another plant out, chucking it into the bucket.  
"They only took out one cluster yesterday," Carl finally broke the silence, and my eyes flickered towards the fence, where a herd of walkers was shaking the chain-link.  
"With a run and everything that happened, yeah," I answered, still observing the dead.  
"We probably going to need more people today. Maybe we could help?" That was directed to Rick, and I looked down on the ground. Now I felt like I was intruding. I didn't even ask if they wanted me here, just invited myself.  
"I got other plans involving dirt and cucumbers and keeping people fed," Rick finally answered, his voice indifferent, but I sensed that this subject was brought up before. In reality, the sheriff truly pulled away from us and any kind of job that involved walkers or going outside.  
"Well, if you don't want to, maybe I could? Could I?" Carl asked softly, and Rick stood up abruptly, taking the bucket from the boy's hands.  
"We have other plans. That's what I should've said."  
I followed them to the pigpen and passed them the buckets, not going nowhere near the dirty animals. The air between the two men was tense, and I decided to make myself scarce.   
"I'll see if I can gather extra people for fences—Carl's right. We need to take care of them before they bring it down," I said lowly and turned around, making my way back towards the courtyard.   
I got to the gate that separated the main building and the field when the first shot echoed in the air. I furrowed my brows, but when I heard another one, I started running, pumping my legs as fast as I could.  
"Help, help!" Two girls, who were close to Carol, and whose names I couldn't remember, got out of the block D and started shouting. I reached them quickly and grabbed the older one by the shoulders.  
"What's wrong?"  
"There are walkers inside!"  
Not waiting for anyone else, I grabbed my machete and pulled the door open, my heart hammering inside my chest. I could hear shouts and someone calling out to me from behind, but I didn't turn back. Lucy was there, spending this night with Ellen, and that was all I could think about.  
Fear and adrenaline overtook me, and my insides clenched when I finally got inside, taking in the chaos. With my blade in one hand and Glock in the other, I pushed the gate and started shooting at the closest walkers.  
Bodies layed on the ground, blood was covering the floor, and there were screams of fear and pain coming from everywhere. Some people tried to stop the geeks, but there was more of the dead than the living.   
Three walkers turned their attention towards me, and I decided to not play with my blade, moving it to my left hand. I switched the weapons, so the gun was in my dominant hand and aimed at the first geek. I recognized him immediately. Greg. His insides were torn, and there was a gaping wound in his neck, his skin gray and whites of his once green eyes focused solemnly on me. With knitted brows, I pulled the trigger, sending the bullet into his brain.   
Not hesitating any longer, I stepped forwards, shooting again and again until there were no more geeks in my path.  
"Ellen!" I yelled in panic, making my way to the back, where her cell was located. "Lucy!"  
I swang machete at the geek that came at me from the right when I got distracted and kicked another one to the ground, finishing it off with the headshot. I spotted Chloe lying on the ground, her side ripped open, eyes glazed over, unmoving. What the hell happened here? Not hesitating any longer, I swang my blade down towards her head, preventing the redhead from reanimating.   
"El!" I heard shouts behind me, and I glanced back to see Daryl coming into the cellblock, his bow shooting down a walker straight away.  
"I'm fine," I yelled back but didn't go to him. My path was clear, and I reached the cell at the end, pushing the door, but it was locked. I mumbled something under my breath, and my heart flinched when I heard a soft cry from inside. I pulled down on the sheet, ripping it down, and nearly choked on the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes.   
Ellen layed on her back on the bed, her body not moving, and from where I stood, I could see blood oozing from her eyes, ears, and nose. Lucy was sitting next to her, crying, and pushing with her small hands at the woman's arm, trying to shake her awake. I quickly yanked at the keys that I always got attached to my belt and with shaking hands, started looking for the right key.  
"Lucy, sweety, come here," I spoke up, searching and trying to keep an eye on the body inside the cell. The girl spun around when she heard my voice and jumped down from the bed, running towards the door.  
"Mommy!" Her cries became more hysteric when she realized that she can't get out, and I swallowed harshly, finally finding the master key.  
"It's fine, it's alright," My voice was soft and calming when I twisted the lock and slid the door open, immediately reaching Lucy and cradling her in my arms. Her small arms wrapped tightly around my neck, and she hid her face in my hair, sobbing quietly, not really understanding what's happening. I placed her on my hip and slowly approached the bed.  
Ellen's eyes were wide open, still pale blue, but there was no movement, and her chest was not moving. Slowly I reached out and brought my fingers to her neck, searching for a pulse. There was none.   
"Mommy?" I glanced down at Lucy, observing her dirty, tear covered face, and smiled softly at her.  
"It's alright, sweety. It's gonna be alright. Just hug me tightly, and it will be OK," I told her and holstered my Glock. Lucy hid her face in my neck, and I used that to dip machete in Ellen's forehead, stopping her from turning. I scrunched my face at the noise it made but ignored it, and slowly, my senses were coming back, taking in what was happening around me. It couldn't be longer than a few minutes since I entered the cellblock, but it felt like hours.  
I tightened my arm around Lucy and gripped my blade in my right hand, getting out of the cell. People were still shouting, and I noticed Tyreese and Karen a few yards in front of me, both making sure that the other is safe.   
"Elena!" Man spotted me, and I quickly jogged towards them, glancing inside the cell they stood next to. There were the girls and Luke. I turned towards the black-haired woman and pushed Lucy in her arms. Karen didn't hesitate and pulled the girl towards her.  
"Take care of her."  
"Mommy!" Lucy cried again, reaching her hands towards me, but I shook my head at her.  
"Stay with Karen, sweety, please. I'll be back, alright?"  
"She'll be safe in here, I promise," Karen said solemnly, and I gave her a strained nod before taking off. On my right, I noticed Glenn sinking his blade in walker's head, but he didn't see the other that was coming at him from behind. Where were they coming from?  
I reacted immediately and reached under my ribs, pulling one of the throwing knives. Instinct took over, and my body moved at its own, one leg slightly back, a hand rose up near my ear, and I breathed out when I released the blade, making it fly through the room. It lodged itself in the geek's ear, making it stumble to the ground, right beside Glenn.   
Man's head snapped to the corpse on the floor, and his eyes searched mine, nodding quickly and pulling my knife out.  
"Check inside the cells, all of them," Daryl's voice boomed in the cellblock, stern and confident. I moved to check three cells at the back, I knew what was in the last one, but I ignored the others when I was looking for Lucy. Now, focused, with adrenaline pumping in my veins, I quickly looked inside them.  
Two were completely empty, but the third had Carol sitting beside Ryan, speaking quietly. When she heard me approach, I noticed a sad expression on her face. A quick glance over the man made me realize he had several bites on his body, and he was shaking. Either from pain or fever settled already.  
"I got it, Eli," Carol whispered, looking back at Ryan. With a sigh, I turned around, joining the others.  
"Are we clear down here?" Rick shouted while Daryl was already moving up the stairs.  
"Clear," I announced and jogged after the hunter, not willing to let him go up there alone.  
I barely made it to the upper level when I heard the wooshing of a bolt, making me move faster until I reached Daryl. I stood beside him while Glenn was standing up, a dead walker by his feet. Rick pushed past us and pulled the cover away, revealing what's inside. There was a body lying on the floor, blood pouring from many holes, face unrecognizable. I stepped inside and sank my blade in its head, just to be sure it won't come back to life.  
"Oh, it's Patrick," Daryl spoke softly, and I turned back to the man and followed his line of sight to the walker he shot just moments ago. It was clearly the boy that was serving us breakfast yesterday. Dammit, Carl will be upset. He was one of not many kids that young Grimes could call a friend.  
Rick crouched down by Patrick's side, and his eyes quickly run over his body, looking for bites. He reached out, but I bend down, gripping his wrist, to stop his movements. The sheriff looked up at me with knitted brows, and I shook my head.  
"Don't touch him. He doesn't look like regular walkers. We don't know why. Just let's wait for Hershel and Doc."

Members of the council sat down in the library, all tired, covered in sweat and blood. Doctor S' best guess was that it's a viral infection, like the swine flu, or something. It is possible, considering that one of the pigs died just yesterday after a few days of sickness, and Rick admitted to spotting several fresh walkers with similar symptoms. Blood oozing out of the eyes, nose, ears, every possible body hole as if the pressure within the body couldn't contain it.   
Once it was all cleared out, I left Lucy with Oscar, who wasn't inside the cellblock and told him to stay away from all of us and keep her safe.  
It seemed that the peacefulness of the prison was over. I scoffed under my breath and nearly laughed out loud, looking around me. We were all sitting down around one of the bigger tables, all but Merle. Later, I found out that when everything happened, he went to help Maggie and Carl with bringing Michonne back inside. She sprained her ankle when she tried to come back inside after hearing the shots. So now, older Dixon was prevented from coming anywhere near us, including this meeting.  
"Patrick was fine yesterday, and he died overnight," Carol started, disturbing the silence that fell over us since we sat down. "Two people died that quick?"  
I sighed heavily and leaned back in my chair, feeling a big, warm hand on my shoulder. I closed my eyes for a second, enjoying Daryl's comforting presence, and focused back on a room full of people.  
"We'll have to separate everyone that's been exposed," Carol continued, and I nodded.  
"That's everyone in that cell block. That's all of us," Daryl commented, and I squeezed his hand, knowing that he is worried about others as much as I was.  
"Rick already knows, but the others... How we do that without raising panic?" I asked and glanced at Hershel, who was stroking his beard. "We need meds. But we also don't know how this disease actually works."  
"We know it can be lethal," Hershel started slowly, his voice grim. "If it's indeed like the flu, there will be fever, general tiredness, with all the blood caught up in lungs, a lot of coughing."  
"Flu is viral, though, isn't it?" I asked, and the man nodded in confirmation.  
"We don't treat the flu, just the symptoms. That's what kills you. Is anyone else showing any that we know off?"  
"We can't just wait and see, there's children," Carol said in a small voice, and my heart clenched for a moment, thinking of Lucy, and all the worst thoughts flooding my mind. "And it's not just the illness. People die and become a danger."  
"We need a place for them to go. They can't stay in D. We can't risk going in there to clean it up."  
"We can use cell block A?" Carol proposed, and I hummed, but Glenn seemed shocked at that proposition.  
"Death row?"  
"It's clear and secure. And if it gets out of control, everything will be contained inside," I said lowly with a blank face. "But we also need to separate the valuable. Kids and the elderly."  
Hershel was looking me in the eyes when I said it, and I knew he didn't like the idea, but that was the truth. He wasn't young anymore. Therefore he could easily catch it, and that's a loss we might not get over.  
"Put them in administrative wing, separate rooms," Hershel announced, and he was about to continue when a cough, not far away from us, echoed in the corridors. I sat up straighter, and through the open doors, I could see Tyreese leading pale Karen away, back to cells.  
My heart skipped a beat when she coughed again, and my throat dried out, thinking about the woman touching Lucy just hours ago.   
The others stood up, and I quickly followed, making our way towards the corridor.  
"You sure you alright? You don't sound so good," Carol was first in there, clearly overhearing the conversation couple had. I stood next to the gray-haired woman, my eyes racking over Karen, noticing her sweaty face.   
"We're just taking her back to my cell so she can rest," Tyreese admitted, and I shook my head.  
"I'm sorry, but you can't."  
"What you mean?"  
I glanced at Hershel and then clenched my jaw, taking a step towards the couple.  
"It's some kind of virus. Airborn. We all been exposed; we can't go back down there. We need to try to avoid spreading it."  
"Is that how Patrick died?" Karen asked in a small voice, her brows knitted.  
"Yes. We gonna prep A for patients, but for now, we could get you to one of the cells leading to it? By the back yard," I told her, and Tyreese bore his eyes into mine.  
"She's gonna be OK. Now that we know how Patrick died, we can treat it, right?"  
"It's the symptoms that are deadly. I'm gonna get on it, alright, Tyreese?"  
The man nodded, and I breathed out, glancing back at the woman, who must be scared for her life.  
"David, from Dacatour group. He was coughing as well."  
"Alright, I'll get him," Glenn announced and took off in another direction. Hershel slowly made his way to the couple and urged them towards A to separate Karen from others.  
I turned back and took in the rest of the people.  
"We will need meds. Sasha, can you have a look at the maps for any places we didn't search yet?"  
"Yeah, will do." The Black woman looked back to where her brother was, just seconds ago, and with a shake of a head, walked back to the library.  
"Carol, do we have anything? I know we lack antibiotics, but anything anti-inflammatory will do, and something to take fever down."  
"Some Tylenol and aspirin, but that's it."  
"I have some herbs in the cafeteria, been bringing them back for a while, but I need to check my book; which ones would help," I said, not looking at them anymore, my brain running over the list of things that has to be done, and how to manage it most safely.  
"I'll burn the bodies," Daryl growled, and his arms went around me. I sighed heavily and pushed myself closer to him, burying my face in his chest. Now that adrenaline and immediate danger was over, I had a moment to be grateful we are both alright.  
"Be careful. Wear gloves and cover your nose and mouth."  
"I'm always careful, woman."  
I chuckled into his shirt and lifted my head to face him. I climbed on my tiptoes, bringing my hands to his shoulders for better support, and kissed him slowly.  
"You better be, Big Guy. If you gonna get ill, I'll kick your ass." Daryl smirked at me and brushed his thumb over my cheek in a tender gesture. Finally, I stepped away and pushed him gently away. "Come on, let's do shit."

I placed two hot bowls of yesterday's stew on the small kitchen cart. I induced it heavily with garlic, which we grew in the fields. Then I turned around to the small metal kettle that was set up over the stove. Water was nearly ready, and I glanced back at two mugs that I had in front of me. There was already grated ginger on the bottom of it, and I shuddered internally, remembering my mother's home recipes for cold. I always hated it, but now I was grateful that I remembered something.  
With the book's help about herbal medicine, I managed to grab a few things we did have in our storage, which was not a lot. But that's a worry for another time. We have to beat that fucking flu right now, and then I can think about searching for more plants or seeds for things we could use to self-medicate.  
Another ten minutes past and I was ready. With two steaming bowls and mugs with ginger-honey tea on a cart, I made my way towards the toombs. That's where Karen and David were temporary until Doctor S will prep the Death Row block. I really hoped, though, Sasha found something on the maps because if more people become sick, we really will need proper medication.  
I pushed my cart around the prison, finally rounding the corner to the cells where two sick people were when I heard someone yelling. Forgetting food and mugs, I pulled my machete out and sprinted towards the sound.  
"No!"   
I stopped abruptly near the door leading to the small build-in courtyard and gasped, not believing my eyes. Tyreese was on his knees, his face full of sorrow and rage, with two bodies on the ground. Two very burned bodies, to the point, that there was no way of recognizing them. A small bouquet of wildflowers layed beside him, and my eyes filled with tears at this view.  
As if he heard me, the man moved his head to face me, scowling, slowly standing up. My heart sped up for a second, worry that he will do something stupid washing over me.  
"What happened?" I asked him softly, and he gestured at still smoking remains on the ground. Then he brought his hand to cover his face while his shoulders shook silently. "I was just bringing them food when I heard you, Tyreese. Do you know what happened?"  
"I don't-- I came to check on her, and all I found was that!" The man strode towards me, fury on his face, but I stood my ground, not letting him see that he was frightening me right now. "Where were you?!"  
"I was in the cafeteria, making them food and tea with herbs that could help. I was there since I last saw you, Tyreese," I spoke softly and calmly, hoping to get through to him. He was towering over me, and I could see his eyes, full of grief and regret.  
"I need Rick. He needs to see it!" He said to himself, stepping away from me and leaving the courtyard in a rush. Breathing out in relief, I closed my eyes for a second to calm down my hammering heart. I didn't want to hurt him, not when he was so valuable and not in control of his emotions.  
I opened my eyes, forcing my face into a blank mask, scanning the area for potential clues. I inhaled deeply, for the first time focusing on different scents around me. Burned flesh was the most prominent, but underneath it, I could smell gasoline.   
The bodies were placed next to each other, on their backs, with hands along their sides. There was no doubt that they burned, but I suspected that they were already dead, or at least knocked out enough to not move an inch when fire surrounded them.   
Looking back towards the entrance, I spotted a bloody trail leading back inside, and I followed it slowly. The light above was already on. Either the killer or Tyreese had to put it on and leave like that.   
The tracks split by the cells, leading to both of which were occupied by Karen and David, and reluctantly I moved closer. The doors to the first one were locked, and I scrunched my face at that, quickly trying the other one, checking if I can open it. Locked as well. I reached for my belt getting my own set of keys, and after a few minutes of searching for the right one, I opened the first door.   
There was a trace of blood on the floor as if the body was dragged away from here, and more blood covered the pillow. I crouched down and touched the red liquid, rubbing it between my fingers. It was fresh, very fresh. Not warm anymore, but it didn't have a lot of time to dry. Still crimson red, not rusty brown. Maybe an hour, maximum. I wiped my hand on my pants and stood up, trying to see if I can notice anything else, but there were just some clothes and water canteen scattered on the floor.  
I moved on to the other cell, and it was precisely the same, bloody trail on the floor, leading out and a big red stain where David's head was. I sighed heavily and couldn't stop myself from feeling a little bit relieved. At least they weren't burned alive. Someone finished them quickly before they set them on fire. There were no bullet holes, no shells on the ground, plus we would hear another gunshot, so it had to be a blade. Or something capable of piercing their skulls. Though the most straightforward way would be to stab through the ear, the tissue and bones there are softer, but the brain is still easily reachable.  
I froze for a second, a bad feeling setting on the bottom of my stomach when I had that thought. Few people knew that and weren't strong enough to do it another way.   
I shook my head and turned back around, noticing a partial handprint on the wall next to the door. Whoever did this touched the blood and then the wall for the support.  
My head snapped upwards when I heard the voices and heavy steps coming in this direction. After a few seconds, Tyreese rushed past me onto the courtyard, Rick, Daryl, and Carol trailing behind him. They looked at me questioningly when they spotted me outside the cells, but I maintained my blank face and just shook my head. I followed the Black man out and heard gasps of dread behind me.  
"Oh God," Carol whispered, but I didn't turn around to look at her. I observed Tyreese, making sure that he had some time to calm down and that he was no danger.  
"You found them like this?" Rick finally asked, and Tyreese nodded, swallowing harshly before actually replying.  
"I came to see Karen," He started explaining. "Yeah, I saw the blood on the floor before. And then I smelled it. Somebody dragged them out here and set them on fire!"  
Rick and Daryl glanced at me, and I nodded, confirming the man's story. I stepped back, standing next to Carol, and looked at her, sending her a strained smile, when she touched my shoulder.  
"They killed them and set them on fire!" Tyreese yelled and then took a sudden step towards Rick, making the sheriff flinch and step back. Daryl moved immediately as well, taking a position behind the big man in case Rick needed help.  
"You're a cop," Tyreese spoke, and then his head snapped to me. "You and her both. You find out who did this, and you bring them to me, you understand?"  
Rick nodded and tried not to look directly at Tyreese, not to challenge him in any way.  
"You bring them to me!"  
"We'll find out who--" Daryl started and touched Tyreese's shoulder before I could warn him, but the Black man was focused on Rick, shrugging off the hunter's hand.  
"I need to say it again?" Tyreese asked aggressively, and Rick shook his head.  
"No, no."  
"We'll Tyreese. Whoever did this, we'll find them," I said softly, but both men were still staring at each other, so it was the sheriff who continued to calm down the big man.  
"I know how you're feeling. I've been there. You saw me there. It's dangerous."  
"Karen didn't deserve this! David didn't deserve it! Nobody does!"  
Daryl stepped forward, and I clenched my jaw when he reached out once more to touch Tyreese. "All right, man. Breathe."  
Just as I feared, Tyreese snapped and moved so quickly that Daryl didn't have a chance to react. The Black man pushed him back, shoving the hunter against the gate, both hands clenching hard on Daryl's vest, holding him in place.  
"I ain't going nowhere until I find out who did this!"  
I took a deep breath and took my Glock out, stepping forward, but Daryl stuck his hand out, telling me to stop. I narrowed my eyes, hand gripping the gun tightly, and slowly I brought it up.  
"We're on the same side, man," Daryl stated calmly, the complete opposite of me.  
"Tyreese, I already told you we'll find the person responsible. I'll question everybody in prison, and we'll know the truth," I said firmly, stepping to the side, so he could see me in his peripheral vision. "But right now, I'm slightly worried about Daryl. Are you gonna hurt him?"  
"Hey, look," Rick added, hoping that with both of us, Tyreese will cool down. "I know what you're going through. When I was like that, I hurt Elena, and I still feel that regret every time I look at her."  
Interesting. My eyes connected with sheriff's, but it was no time or place to feel sentimental.  
"We've all lost someone," Rick continued after a second, refocusing on the big man, who was still holding on to Daryl. "We know what you're going through right now, but you-- you gotta calm down."  
My eyes grew wide when Rick touched Tyreese's shoulder, and the Black man released Daryl, just to charge at the sheriff.   
"You need to step the hell back!" He pushed Rick away, and I saw a change in sheriff's eyes, something of his old self when he didn't take shit from nobody. Carol stepped forward, her arms outstretched between the men, signaling for them to calm down. I holstered my weapon because if they going to fucking fight, I didn't want to accidentally kill any of them.  
"She wouldn't want you being like this," Rick commented, and I strode over to Daryl, my eyes scanning his body for any injuries, but he just nodded and tried to push me behind him when Tyreese finally snapped, hitting Rick in the face. Oh, my lovely caveman, thinking I need protection.  
Rick stumbled back, his bottom lip split and oozing blood, but he stood back up, still trying to be calm. Tyreese stroked again, and I sidestepped Daryl, trying to push myself between the men, so did Carol.   
"Enough!" I growled at both of them, but it was futile. Only because Daryl pulled me back, I wasn't clanked in the face when Rick lunged himself at Tyreese. The sheriff had more experience and apparently a lot of hidden anger. They exchanged few blows until Rick managed to push Tyreese to the ground, stranding his chest and hitting him again and again.   
Carol was shouting desperately for the men to stop this madness, and Daryl tried to pull Rick off, but he was just pushed aside. I groaned silently and clenched my jaw, striding over to them.  
In one swift motion, I brought the side of my straightened palm to the pressure point located on Rick's neck, into crock by his right shoulder. He grunted, and his right arm went limp, a flash of pain over his face. It was enough of a distraction for Daryl to pull on Rick's arms and lift him off Tyreese. I stood firmly between them, my hands on my hips, glancing down at the bloodied face of a Black man. Rick really did a job on him.   
I scowled and finally spoke. "The fuck is wrong with you two? Rick, for fuck's sake, you are supposed to help calm him down, not beat the shit out of him. Tyreese, I can't imagine what you're going through, but if you're a danger to the rest of us, I'm going to lock you up under guard until you come to your senses!"  
They both were breathing heavily, and Rick held his right arm, probing it, and glaring in my general direction.   
"Let's get you cleaned up," Carol said softly, helping Tyreese to get to his feet, leading him out. Flash of metal on her belt caught my attention, and I looked at it before she disappeared. It was a set of keys, hanging freely from the back of her belt. I scrunched my face for a second, but there was a more critical thing needing my attention right now.  
I spun around to fully face Rick, noticing he already stood up, Daryl watching him carefully with his displeased scowl in place.  
"Farming's great and taking care of animals. But you not going to just get rid of your own aggression by doing that shit. From tomorrow you and I will spend some time in the gym," I told the sheriff, and he just closed his eyes, running a hand over his face. "Have a look around. I already did. We going to talk about this after council meeting. We need to know if the illness progressed and informed them of what happened here."  
With that, I spun on my hill and walked away, struggling with my own anger. 


	59. Chapter 59

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Only three more chapters until season 5! I discovered what kept me so strained with writing, and it was the fact that overall first half of season 4 was kind of boring, and it was hard for me to place Elena in it. But I have more written, and I feel like it's some good quality shit.
> 
> Anyway, hope you'll enjoy this one, and if you do leave a comment! Cheers :)

Today was the longest day we had in a long time. It was just afternoon, and already so much fucking shit happened. My first stop after leaving the toombs was to see Merle. I had to inform him of what was happening and check if he was OK. As annoying as his comments were, he was still a family, and I haven't seen him since this morning.

I spotted him down by the fences, with few other people, all of them stabbing and trying to spread the walkers around.

Not coming too close, I stood on the other side and yelled his name, waving him over. His face lightened up, and he smiled widely, coming over to the chain-link fence that separated us.

"Doll, fuckin' hell, what a day, huh?"

"Good to see you didn't lose your cheerfulness," I commented dryly, and he furrowed his brows, tilting his head.

"What's wrong?"

"What's not fucking wrong?" I threw my hands up and let them fall to my sides, worry finally setting in. I glanced behind him, making sure that others couldn't hear us, and I cleared my throat.

"The illness is spreading, and someone killed Karen and David."

"What?" He shouted, getting others' attention, but I put a fake smile over my face and waved at them to show that everything is alright.

"Be quiet. We don't need to alarm people. I think whoever did it tried to prevent the spread of the flu."

"Well, ain't worked well, right?" His face lacked his usual smugness, and his hand was stroking his chin, which he often did while thinking. "Ya know who?"

"No," I said slowly. "But I have my suspicions. Tyreese wants Rick and me to solve it. Fuck, I want to solve. For all, I know it could be you or me."

"Snake in a fuckin' nest, that what it is, Sugar."

"You got that right, Hook. Can you tell me who was on guard duty today so far?"

Merle scrunched his nose and reached his back pocket, pulling out the small notebook I spotted him carrying around.

"Maggie was in the mornin', second shift started at midday, and it was Sasha, but she left earlier, 'bout two hours ago, said she ain't feelin' well, so I put Matt up. Then it's me, and ya got balls."

"Fuck, I hate those." I rubbed my face with frustration and tried to wipe the sweat off my forehead. I looked back at Merle and gave him a crooked smile. "We going to have another meeting soon, but I wanted to make sure you're OK. And-- have you seen Lucy?" I added quietly, biting my bottom lip, scared of the answer.

"As ordered, all kids and elderly moved to offices. She was with Beth the last time I saw her. Nothin' to worry, she's tough, and Blondie knows how to take care of lil' ones," Merle said in his normally gruff voice, but there was a tenderness to it. I knew for a fact that he liked Lucy and often played with her in the fields if he didn't have a duty.

"Thanks, Hook. I'll come talk to you after the meeting. Um, before I go. Can I see your keys?"

Merle raised his eyebrow at me but dug into his pants pocket and stretched his hand out, a set of metal keys dangling in front of my face.

"Whatcha need it for?"

"Just checking something," I answered, scanning the keys over. The set was exactly like mine, plus a keyring presenting a hook attached to it. Birthday present from yours truly. Everything looked normal, they were dirty, and some of the metal parts were covered in rust. I nodded when I finished my examination, and he put it back, his face growing dark for a moment.

"Is Darlina OK?"

"Hey, nothin' can kill Dixon but a Dixon, right?" I answered in a horrible southern accent, making the man in front of me laugh out loud before he turned around, going back to stabbing walkers through the fence.

Sitting down by the table, I was tapping my foot nervously on a concrete floor. Pen in my hand and the sheet in front seemed to be mocking me, playing games with my mind. Everything I knew so far was barely anything.

Two bodies burned to a crisp with a trail of blood, proving that they were killed in their beds before someone decided to grill them.

The cells were locked after the fact, which by the way, was kinda stupid, which means that only someone who had access to them could do it. That would be council and watch.

Small handprint on the wall by the entrance to the courtyard.

And that's fucking it. Chances are that person responsible lays now in A, suffering from the disease they tried to prevent from spreading. Because the handprint was small, female-like. So unless someone borrowed keys from one of us, it left only three possibilities.

I wrote down three names on a piece of paper and knitted my brows.

Screeching of a door made me jerk my head up, and quickly I stashed the paper in my pocket, not wanting anyone to see it until I had a chance to speak with Rick. No need to make people panic. Or to spook my suspects.

"Sasha got it," Glenn said, his voice laced with worry as he sat down next to me. I shifted my gaze to Hershel, and he just sadly nodded to confirm what the young man said. Fuck. That leaves two. Or one, if you look at that properly, and that awful feeling settled down at the pit of my belly once more. Could I be wrong? Were my assumptions incorrect? Was there something I missed?

"She went to A about half an hour ago," Hershel added just when Daryl, Carol, and Michonne came in. The latter leaning against the doorframe while the other took their seats.

"Then we are ready to start. Merle is working on fences and controls the watch shifts," I spoke, my voice all business-like, glancing around the room, controlling the urge to look at Carol for longer than necessary.

"Well, it's spread," Hershel started the most urgent topic. "Everyone who survived the attack in Cell Block D. Sasha, Caleb, and now others."

"Jesus," Daryl commented, his eyes connecting with mine, an evident worry in them. I felt fine so far. No itchy throat, no fever, but as the illness showed us, it could hit you quickly, at any given moment.

"So what do we do?" Carol asked quietly, and their eyes landed on me, as always recently, when we were lost for the ideas.

"They are separated in A. We keep them there just like we tried with Karen and David," I started, just to be interrupted by Daryl.

"The hell we're gonna do about that?"

"Rick and Eli will look into it. But what are we going to do to stop this?" My eyes narrowed for a second at Carol's dismissal of the subject, but that was not the moment to voice my concerns.

"Keep the most valuable separated. I'm sorry, Hershel, but that includes you too."

"I know, I just hoped to do some good before it comes to that," He admitted with a soft smile.

"But the most important is that we need meds. I got some herbs. I'd like everybody to take them in tea, sick or not, just to be sure. It won't hurt to try. But we need antibiotics."

"Elena's right," Hershel took over me. "There's no stopping it. Once you get it, you have to go through it."

"But it just kills you," Katana, so far silent, finally spoke up, her arms crossed in front of her.

"Just the symptoms."

"Plan's good, but we searched all the area nearby, all pharmacies, all shops," Daryl pointed out, and I sighed, realizing that he's right, and we will have to take a look at the maps to find some location.

"That veterinary college of West Peachtree Tech." Or maybe not. Apparently, Hershel already had a plan. "That's one place people may not have thought to raid for medication. The drugs for animals there are the same we need."

"That's fifty miles. Too big risk before. Ain't now. I'm gonna take a group out. Best not waste any more time."

"I'm in," Katana stepped forward, and I was grateful that she will be going. Because as much as I wanted to go with them, ensure that we got the meds for our people, I simply couldn't. Rick and I had to catch that killer.

"You haven't been exposed, Daryl has. You get in a car with him--" Hershel told her, warning in his voice evident. Michonne smirked playfully and winked in my direction before replying.

"He's already given me fleas."

I snorted, catching the hunter's attention, and he motioned for me as he started for the door, but I shook my head gently, making him furrow his brows.

"I can lead the way," Hershel was still laughing at Katana's comment when he said it, standing up as if ready to go.

"Um, Hershel--" I started, noticing how everyone got quiet and uncomfortable, unsure how to tell him the ugly truth. "Once you there, almost always at some point you have to run."

"Or I could draw you a map, then." He deflated, realization washing over him. True, he had a prosthetic, something we found a few months back, but it wasn't perfectly fitted and definitely not made for running away from walkers.

"Why ya not comin'?" Daryl asked me, moving over to where I stood. I lifted my hand and pushed loose strands of his hair away from his face. My smile was soft, and I tried to imprint his face in my mind, even though I knew every aspect of it.

"You know why," I answered quietly and stroked his cheek. "I have to make sure that whoever did this to Karen and David is found. And punished."

Daryl leaned in, pressing his forehead to mine, his arms wrapping around my waist, pulling me closer. I got lost for a moment in his scent, in the warm embrace that always made me feel safe. Home.

"Don't catch it, El."

"I won't. Be careful out there."

"Always am." With that, my hunter tilted his head and planted a soft kiss on my lips. My eyes fluttered shut, enjoying the slow pace until it was over, and he pulled away from me. I looked around, noticing that Carol left already, and Glenn was talking to Hershel in a hushed voice.

"Hey guys, can I see your keys?"

When I was satisfied with the state of the keys presented by Glenn, Hershel, and Daryl, I walked the hunter to our cell, where he collected a few items, preparing himself for the journey. And then we said our goodbyes, in the confinement of our small room, as well as we could considering we were on a clock.

I delegated Oscar, who still didn't show any flu symptoms, to take care of the tea, ensuring that the herbs are distributed equally between ill and healthy. That will give him something to do, besides fences.

And then I made my way to find Rick, after asking and searching; finally, I realized that he must be in the toombs, investigating.

He was indeed there, looking around, and when he heard my footsteps, his eyes landed on me. I could see old Rick peeking through. That hardness in his eyes, and clenched jaw, hand every so often reaching towards empty gun holster.

I didn't say anything, just let him get to his own conclusions. After a few minutes, Rick stopped right in front of me, with hands on his hips.

"So, what did you noticed, sheriff?" I asked him calmly, and he released a heavy sigh, rubbing a hand over his face.

"They obviously were killed in their cells and then dragged out. Probably knives, as no one heard any gunshots, and there are no shells. But that's my most interesting clue," Rick led me to the courtyard and pointed at the bloody handprint that covered the wall next to the door. He layed his hand next to it, showing the size difference, and I smiled sadly at him.

"I found similar one in David's cell. As if the killer had trouble with his weight. So what does it mean?"

"A woman, or a teenager," Rick admitted with furrowed brows, and I nodded.

"Look, there's no way Carl did that. But woman, yes. That still leaves us with a lot of suspects. So, I guess it's my turn to tell you what I found."

I turned around and walked back inside, standing in front of both cells, motioning for them.

"What about them?" Rick asked, unsure of what I'm trying to tell him.

"They were locked. When I got here, I had stew and herbal tea for them. That's when I heard Tyreese, so I checked on him and saw-- well, what we all saw in the courtyard," I started telling him and slowly took out my set of keys. "When he went to get you, I had a look around, but when I tried to enter the cells, they were locked."

That's when I passed him my keys, and he inspected it for a moment, every dirt marks, every blood splatter they collected over the months.

"I checked everybody's set, except for two," I continued and leaned against the wall. "We have three suspects Rick. Unless someone borrowed the keys, but again the guys denied. So you have Sasha, who did leave her shift in watchtower earlier, around the time it happened. Carol, I don't know where she was or where she supposed to be, and me. So let's have it, sheriff."

Rick narrowed his eyes, shaking his head and taking a deep, steady breath before getting to his questions.

"Sasha left, 'cause she didn't feel well, and now we know that she's really infected, so I doubt she would be strong enough to do this. She barely got herself to A," Rick told me, and I nodded because that's something I also suspected. I haven't seen the woman, but I trusted what Hershel and Glenn told me, and apparently, she looked like hell. Plus, would she really kill her brother's girlfriend? Sasha wasn't that kind of person.

"I agree. Leaves two. I know where I stand, but you and others don't, so ask away."

"I know what you're capable of, and you definitely could do it," Rick started, and as much as I agreed, it still hurt a little to hear from a friend. But I knew that it's not because he didn't trust me. No, he needed to see if I was dangerous towards the others.

"Well, yes."

"Did you?" With a tightly clenched jaw, Rick was waiting for my response.

I stood up straighter, pushing myself off the wall, and dropped my blank mask, staring right at the sheriff's eyes. "No. I didn't have any issue with either Karen or David, and-- I knew we will have an outbreak on our hands."

"What you mean?"

"I think the person who did it tried to stop it. But flu is an airborne virus. You, me, Daryl. All of us that are not infected, it just means we have a better immune system, but we still carry it."

"I see," Rick considered what I told him and nodded to himself before asking me another question. "And where were you when it happened?"

"In the cafeteria, making food for them, seeing what herbs we got that can help with the immune system and fighting infection. And no, I don't have witnesses. Oscar walked me over there, but then he went to work on fences, so I was by myself."

"You said you checked the keys. Why? What could it prove?"

I shook my head and breathed out heavily, furrowing my brows. "No clue. I wanted to see how others were taking care of them because I noticed Carol's keys. Very clean and shiny."

Rick didn't say anything else at that, but his face showed sorrow, but also something else, similar look he wore when we traveled through Georgia all those months ago. Determination.

"If she-- how? I can't even fucking imagine her doing something like that. And what we're supposed to do with it?"

"First, we should found out if it was actually her, Rick," I told him softly, placing my hand on his shoulder. "And the rest we'll figure out after."

With that, slowly, we made our way through the prison. It was a dire view. There weren't a lot of people left who weren't sick. Our resources stretched. I swallowed a lump in my throat when I noticed Mark coughing, his face was sweaty, and his eyes bloodshot.

Everything we worked so hard for the past few months was crumbling to the ground. If Daryl doesn't come back soon with any kind of medicine, we are bound to lose almost everyone, not that there are many left.

I followed Rick out of prison, through the courtyard, and onto the fields. Carol was nowhere to be seen until we heard a characteristic rustic sound from the fences.

"Damn you, Carol," The sheriff mumbled and sped up, making me knit my brows together in confusion.

"Is she out there?"

"She was complaining before, wanted to go, but I said it's too dangerous without others," Rick answered, and I nodded, speeding up. I could see few walkers coming out of the woods, and some were losing interest in a metal construct that was supposed to gather their attention.

"Carol!" I yelled and started running, pulling machete out of my belt. Rick's heavy footsteps sounded heavily on the ground next to me when we run for the opening in the chain-link. I was first there and quickly undid the clasp and let the sheriff through the hole. My heart leaped at my chest when one of the geeks got way too close to Carol, who just managed to take the other one down.

I squeezed through the hole and grabbed the knife, throwing it without thinking twice. Shifting my body, I launched under the geek's arm and stabbed its brain from behind. Spinning to face the others, I ran towards Carol and kicked at the walker closest to her, sinking the blade in the head.

"Hurry up!" I outstretched my hand to the woman and yanked her up when her fingers grabbed my wrist. I pushed her towards the hole when a hand gripped my shoulder, pulling me back to the ground. A small yelp escaped my lips, but I focused on using my momentum to kick at the walker and scramble to my knees.

Cowboy boots showed in my vision, and Rick pulled me up, urging us to get back inside.

"Run!" Not one for disobeying that kind of orders, I pushed my legs to move, panting heavily once we were safely behind the fence. I helped Rick tie the cable around the chain-link and watched as several new walkers pushed at the wall, trying to follow our steps.

"Piece of cake," The woman cracked a joke, and I felt anger rising inside me.

"What the hell were you thinking?" I yelled, turning towards Carol, just to be met with her steady gaze. Peltier certainly changed last year, and that thought didn't help with my suspicion about her deeds.

"The pipe was clogged. We need water, you know that Eli," Carol replied calmly and went through the fence, crossing the field. I glanced up at Rick and saw how tightly he clenched his jaw, hand going around the hilt of Colt.

"We agreed to do that tomorrow," Rick spoke loudly, following Carol with me right on his heel.

"We don't know if we get a tomorrow," The reply was cold but laced with sadness.

"We never do, Carol. And we definitely won't get it if we're going to take stupid risks," I told her sternly, catching up to her.

We followed the woman all the way to the inner courtyard and watched her from the steps that led to the entrance of our cellblock. Rick stood rigidly next to me while I sat down, watching with hollow eyes the woman I considered my friend. She carried two buckets towards the big blue container we stored the water in.

I took a deep breath and forced my face to remain blank when Carol came within earshot.

"You really care, don't you?" I asked her, happy that there was no sign of shakiness I felt inside me.

Her head snapped towards us for a moment, but she carried on with a task at hand. "Of course, I do!"

"And you would do everything for our people?" Rick added his own question.

"Wouldn't you?"

"Is there anything you wouldn't do?" The sheriff pressed on, and Carol finished pouring the water in, placing the bucket gently on the ground. Slowly she turned towards us, a scowl forming on her face.

"No." So simple, but that one word made me shut my eyes for a second. That one word giving me all the answers we needed.

She started walking away, and slowly I rose up, standing next to Rick, who called her over. "Carol!" The woman stopped and shifted to look at us, her expression emotionless.

"Did you kill Karen and David?"

She didn't cringe. There was no surprise in her gaze, no shock that we could suspect something so foul out of her. "Yes."

I climbed the stairs to the watchtower slowly. My step felt heavy; my whole body felt like that, actually. It was such a long day, and it was not over yet. I still had to spend the next six hours stuck in the box, looking out at the line of walkers surrounding us.

After admission from Carol, I felt utterly drained. When everything changed? When did she change so much that she would consider killing someone just to save 'her group'? Because in my mind, there was no doubt that even if she was always accommodating, she still separated others from us, the ones who found the prison.

She wasn't the only one who felt that way, but I never suspected her of doing something like that. And I knew there was another question that needed to be voiced, but right now, I was too much of a coward to do so.

Gently I pushed the squeaky door, and I was met with Merle's grim face. He would never admit it, but he cared for those people as much as the rest of us. After all, Dixon saw in what state we all were after Governor, and how much effort we all put into making it a home.

"What's new, Sweetcheeks?" Merle's gruff voice was surprisingly comforting after the long I had, reminding me of his younger brother.

"You have no fucking idea, Hook," I told him and dropped my bag on a metal table, plunging myself on a chair next to Dixon's. He furrowed his brows at my response and placed his gun next to my bag.

"Worse than last time we saw each other, Doll?"

I sighed heavily and nodded. "Yeah. Way worse. We found who killed Karen and David." I took the plastic container out of the bag and popped the lid open, revealing a rice stew Carol prepared just this morning. I scoffed at that thought, not quite believing how everything shifted in a matter of hours.

"No fuckin' way! Who did it?" Merle rose his voice, straightening in his chair, his blue eyes drilling into mine.

"Carol," I whispered, and Dixon's eyes went wide for a moment, but then he smirked. The bastard had a cheek to fucking smile at that.

"Fuckin' hell, I knew Queen had balls, but that's a different level of crazy."

"How can you fucking laugh at that?!"

"'Cause it's so fucked up, Doll," Merle answered and shook his head, staring out of the window into the dark night.

"I just-- How could she?"

"Carol ain't the same woman we met at the quarry, Sweetcheeks. She's tough. She threatened me when I came in here." I snapped my eyes to Merle at that and sighed again, picking up the container and scooping some stew on the fork.

"Rick is going to take her out tomorrow," I told him, shoving food into my mouth.

"Darlina ain't gonna be happy for killin' her. She's like a mother figure to 'im."

"He's not going to kill her," I scoffed after swallowing and glared at him. "He's gonna pack some supplies and drop her in town. For now, only three of us know Merle. You need to keep your trap shut."

"No worries. But ya better think what's ya gonna tell 'lil brother."

"Trust me, it's all I can think about for the past four hours," I told him sternly. "Did they make any contact?"

"Just before sunrise, they were getting outta range. Shouldn't be much longer, don't worry, Dollface. Darlina will come back safe as always."

"I know that, Merle. It's not a question of if but when. I'm afraid they going to be too late," I admitted quietly, and at that, he didn't have any answers.

A few minutes later, Merle bid his goodbye and descended the stairs, leaving me alone with my food, a small oil lamp, and dozens of lingering walkers on the horizon.


	60. Chapter 60

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter is a little shorter but it prepares for the finale! How was your New Year? I laughed with my husband, as we almost missed midnight, both Christmas and welcoming new year was basically like any other day in lockdown for us. But I hope that with vaccines and everything soon all our lives will come back to a relatively normal state. All good wishes to everyone who reads it and I hope you're all healthy and careful. 
> 
> Cheers :)

**Day 485**

When the sun rose above the horizon, Oscar climbed the tower, changing me in duty. After a quick chat, I found out that more people became ill, including Axel. For now, Texan man had only a high fever, but he made his way to the A block, to not spread it more.

But I started to think that isolating did nothing to help us. Once you get in contact, you got it; some display symptoms later while others started from the beginning. Some are probably just carriers, not actually getting ill.

I slept for about four hours before nightmares overtook, and when I sat up in the empty cell, my heart beating hard and way too fast, I knew I won't be able to catch any more sleep.

I spent my morning gathering water and bringing heavy buckets to the door leading to the toombs. Hershel greeted me with a small smile, but I could see how tired he was. Four more people died since last night, and Dr. S was sick as well, leaving older Greene as their only carer.

Then I made my way to the offices, checking on Beth, Lucy, Carl, and Judith. The young woman informed me that they were just fine, but they were missing others. I spoke with her for a little while and reassured Lucy that she would see me soon before I took off to the field.

I started to worry, I knew that the road Daryl took was a long one, but still, they already should be back. It was more than a day, and there wasn't any communication from the group. The same with Rick, he took Carol out west just before my watch finished, and that was more than eight hours ago. I took a deep breath and pinch the bridge of my nose, all that happened recently starting to take a toll on me.

After a few moments, I shook my head and spotted Maggie and Merle by the fences, each stabbing walkers through the chain-link. Straightening my back, I made my way towards them, snatching a crowbar from one of the barrels when I approached the gate to the catwalk.

My gaze went to the watchtower, and I sighed heavily when I realized Oscar was still there. We were one of the few healthy people, others taking care of food, or were locked in the offices because they were vulnerable.

"Hey," I said softly, startling Maggie a little, and I smirked at that. "Jumpy much?"

"You can't blame me. With all the shit that's happening," She replied, her voice strained, and I nodded.

"I know. They will be back soon."

"Ya betcha. Darlina will stroll in here in no time, with all meds in the world. Glenn will be fine," Merle added, not looking at us, but his words made me smile. Thinking that just a few months ago, he would call him Chinaman showed just how much he changed. Maggie seemed to consider that, as well. She didn't reply, stabbing more geeks, but her face softened a little.

"Exactly. Glenn, Sasha, Axel, everyone will be fine. Hershel will magic the meds into those fancy IVs, and all be good," I told them both, but with every hour, I was losing more and more hope. The longer they were gone, the more people succumbed and died from the flu.

"Incoming!" Oscar yelled from his spot in the tower. "It's Rick!"

Maggie and I dropped our weapons and run towards the metal gate, pulling together at the rope, to open it up, allowing the car to quickly swoop past us. The vehicle stopped a few yards behind us, and while Maggie was glancing back, I promptly pulled another cord, shutting the doors before any walkers could try come in.

"Carl, Judith, are they OK?" Rick asked instantly, once he jumped out of the car, walking briskly towards us. Merle stroll over, his blue eyes darting between the sheriff and otherwise empty vehicle.

"Yeah. Where is Carol?" Maggie replied before I could, and she was also searching for the gray-haired woman. I pressed my lips into a thin line and stood stiffly beside her, my eyes connecting with Rick's for a second.

"Glenn, Hershel, Sasha?"

"They are alright. For now," I answered before Greene could. "Axel is sick as well, and Daryl didn't come back yet."

At that sheriff nodded and started going back to the car, but Maggie stopped him in his track.

"Rick! Where is Carol?"

Grimes slowly turned around, one hand on his holster, and his jaw was clenched so tightly that for a moment, I thought it will pop. He was tense and reminded me of a leader from before Governor. Our eyes met once again, and I nodded softly; there was no harm in letting her know. After all, she and Carol were friends, and soon people would start asking this question anyway.

"It was her," That simple statement made Maggie tilt her head to the side, as she didn't know what he was talking about. "Karen and David. She killed them."

Greene took a small step back and shook her head in disbelief. I placed my hand on her shoulder, squeezing it softly, making her look at me.

"She was trying to stop it from spreading," I added quietly, my face void of any emotions.

"Are you sure it was her?"

"We asked her yesterday. She admitted it, Mags."

"Tyreese is gonna be back soon, so we didn't think she should be here, and I couldn't have her here," Rick continued, trying to make sense of the situation.

"We. It was our decision. I couldn't imagine her getting anywhere close to Lucy after finding out," My voice wavered a little at the thought of little girl and Carol in the same room.

"She has a car, supplies. She'll figure it out. I'll tell your dad. You don't tell anyone else yet."

"Four of us are the only ones that know," I looked above Maggie's shoulder at Merle, who had a grim look on his face, and I knew he was wondering what Daryl will say about this. But nonetheless, Dixon nodded sharply. He didn't need to; I knew he wouldn't tell anyone, he understood why Rick did it.

"OK," Maggie breathed out, but she looked lost, unsure of what to do with all this knowledge.

"Would you have brought her back?" Rick asked her softly, seeing Maggie's distress as well. She snapped her head up and stayed silent for a moment before answering.

"You were right to send her away. I don't know if I coulda."

"You could've, Maggie. You've done harder things. Don't doubt yourself," With that, Rick walked away towards the car.

"Fence is going to give up," I shouted after him, stopping him in his tracks.

"We'll deal with it. I just need to speak to Hershel."

I sighed and rubbed my face with my hand before looking at Merle. "We can take the track, grab remaining logs, try to prop it against the fence."

"That's a temporary solution, Doll," Merle grunted but still walked alongside me towards the cars.

"Do you have a better idea?" I snapped at him, regretting it in seconds when his jaw clenched. "I'm sorry, Hook. Look, I know. But with everyone sick, and others not back, we can't risk something bigger."

"We could take the car out, drive some of them out."

"Merle," I stopped and grabbed his arm to turn him toward me. "We can't. Not right now. It would literally leave only Rick, Maggie, and Oscar in here. What if something else happens?"

"Fuck, I know, Doll. Is just I got that feelin' ya know?"

I nodded softly because I knew exactly what he was talking about. This sick twist and pull in my gut. I didn't know what it was about, whether about illness, Daryl, or something completely unrelated, but I could feel it. But right now, we needed temporary fixes to ensure that others will survive before a big operation like driving walkers all the way to Atlanta.

* * *

Placing log after log alongside the fence was hard. Four of us made slow progress, and the fact that walkers were throwing themselves at the chain-link, their constant growls, made my adrenaline pumping through my veins. Just moments ago, Rick's ankle was pulled, making him fell down. With Maggie's quick thinking and Merle's strong arm, the sheriff was up and working in no time, but that just showed how dangerous was what we were doing. The fence could give in at any moment, and then we would be stuck here, ripped apart in minutes.

It was late afternoon, the sun was slowly disappearing, making our shadows longer, and the breeze was getting colder, making me shiver for a moment.

And it seemed like we couldn't get any fucking break. Merle just maneuvered another log up the fence while Rick and Maggie were preparing more to bring down from the car when the gunshot rang from the prison. My eyes went round, and I exchanged a grim look with Dixon. Oscar run down out of the tower staring ahead, unsure what to do.

I saw Maggie drop her ax, and she started running, the Black man glancing at me with horror in his chocolate eyes.

"Go, help Maggie. Make sure it's secure!" I yelled at him, and he didn't waste any time, taking out after the woman. Rick looked over his shoulder, worry evident on his face, but he masked it quickly.

"I'm gonna get Carl," Sheriff announced and quickly made his way to the administrative side of the prison, leaving Dixon and me alone.

None of us spoke; we just kept going, howling logs of the truck and propping them against the fence.

Almost everyone else was in block A, meaning the shots came from there. Hershel wouldn't just use a gun. He tried to spare others the view of dead friends. Unless something terrible happened, like multiple people dying and turning, overpowering those who were still alive.

I shook my head at that thought and kept kicking at the wood, making sure it stays in place. After a few long moments, Rick jogged back with Carl behind him. It was getting dark quickly, and soon we were working in complete darkness, only one small olive lamp illuminating the night.

We were sweating, and my muscles burned from exhaustion, cramping with every movement, but we couldn't stop. There was no one else to do it, and we needed a fence to stand.

"Think they're OK?" Carl finally asked a question we all been thinking. The boy was crouched down, using a hammer to ensure that the log stays secure in the ground.

"If things were going bad, we would've heard more shots," Rick replied, but that was not true. Not necessary. The gunshot might have been accidental in the first place, but not hearing from others could also mean they were no longer. I swallowed harshly at that thought and shook my head to get rid of that horrible feeling.

"Maggie would get us if she would need us," I added quietly, not looking at any of them. I was too tired to pretend that everything was fine and give younger Grimes any false hope.

"She's tough, and the old man got more fire than ya think, kid," Merle said matter factly, grinning at the boy, who nodded.

"You're right. Let's do it!" With new vigor, Carl started helping Rick with another log, lifting it and putting it in place.

I smiled warmly at Merle, appreciating his words. It's incredible how much better he blends in with others; when he tunned down asshole mode, he was really a valuable part of this family. Smirking under my nose, I kicked the wood while Dixon held it up. Maybe we should find him a girlfriend. Someone strong-minded, oh that would be precious. All the times when he told Daryl that he follows me like a puppy. Seeing Merle lovestruck would be a highlight of the year.

I was pulled from my thoughts by a cracking noise. We froze in place, slowly turning towards the sound, and I could see one of the logs in the middle section bend, splinters shooting into the air.

"Fuck!" Merle pushed the wood down and grabbed my upper arm away from the danger.

"Run!" Rick shouted, pushing Carl ahead, just as the log broke in half and chain-link finally gave in, opening the space for the walkers. The first few geeks stumbled through the fence; after days of pushing, starving they were finally here, free to try to get their dinner.

I shook Merle's arm off me and grabbed Carl when he neared me, and together we run for the door to the west tower. The fence was giving away with us, and I found myself next to the stumbling walkers, their outstretched arms trying to grab my shirt, hair, any part of me, really.

I tried to steer to the left to get out of geeks reach, but one managed to clamp its hand on my upper arm, luckily covered in a jacket. I spun around and twisted my arm. If not for the constant grows and snares, I'm sure I would hear the bone pop. I kicked at its chest with a grunt and started running again, fear slowly creeping up my body. So many, and only four of us. Too many.

Rick drove a group of two away from me, pushing me into Merle's arms, who stood panting in the open doorway. The last pump of my legs, shaky breathing, racing heart, mere seconds and I was pulled inside the tower by Dixon and Carl while Rick came in just after me, shutting the door loudly.

"So, I vote to never do that again," I whizzed weekly, covering my fear with humor. Merle snickered next to me, and Carl gave a quick giggle, sobering quickly. Rick crossed the small space, pushing other doors open. We got to the inner courtyard, but the fence separating us, and the catwalk was shaking; walkers were holding to it firmly, trying to push through.

"What do we do now?" Carl asked, looking up at his dad, and Rick met my eyes. For a moment, I saw the man from before prison, fearless leader, adamant that somewhere out there in this zombie-infested world, we could find a safe place. But there was a glimpse of that insecurity, loss, pain as well before he composed himself.

"Maybe I can back up the bus against the fence," Rick glanced around, looking for a solution, and I clenched my jaw.

"Will it hold?"

"No," I told them quietly, and Rick nodded sharply, finally coming to a decision.

The sheriff moved past us to the metal containers with guns, and I quickly followed. I passed automatic to Merle and reached deep inside for ammunition.

"Mags," I grabbed a few and swiftly distributed them, clipping one to Uzi and stashing two others into my pants' pockets.

"You got it?" Rick asked Carl when the boy grabbed one of the rifles, hiding the magazine in his trousers.

"Yeah."

"OK, crush curse, kiddo," I stepped forward and grabbed his weapon for a moment, throwing the strap of my Uzi over my head, letting it rest on my back.

"Magazine goes here, the release is here, make sure it latches when you put it in." I pointed to the gun, Carl watching me intently. "Safety switch, and hold it tightly to your shoulder, or you gonna have a black eye. Put the rod back and hold the trigger for a rapid-fire; it feeds bullets automatically. Got it?"

"Yeah." Carl nodded and grabbed the gun from my hands, repeating my actions, and I nodded happily.

"Rick, you and Carl start first. Merle and I will join in. When you need to reload, step behind us and vise versa," I ordered, stepping back on a far side of Grimes'.

"You shoot, or you run. Don't let them get close," Rick said firmly, bending down to eye level with his son. Carl nodded in understanding and turned around, bringing his gun up to his shoulder.

I breathed in deeply and watched the corner of the fence. It slowly bent down under the weight of walkers, allowing them to finally get through. Rick and Carl moved forward and started shooting, the noise echoing in the dark night. I counted to ten in my head before lining the scope in my eyesight and yelling at Merle.

"Join!"

We stood on both sides of Grimes' few steps back, and four of us aimed at geeks. The sound was overbearing, and if we survive this, I will hear ringing all day tomorrow, for sure. Lips pulled in a thin line, grip firm on the Uzi, I breathed evenly while squeezing the trigger, shooting one walker after the other.

There were so many of them, and even though I tried not to, I started wondering how much difference we could make before we run out of ammo.

"Reload!" Rick shouted and stepped back. I took a few steps towards the monsters and kept the finger on the trigger, walking in front of the sheriff and Carl, Merle doing the same on my left.

I don't know how long we were going. I burned through two magazines, clicking my third one in place when the shooting stopped, and I glanced up, worried. A sigh of relief escaped my lips, and I bend down, propping my hands on my knees, taking sharp breaths.

It was done; we did it. I could still hear moans, but there were far fewer of them and came from walkers trapped under other bodies or with unworking legs. Wiping sweat from my forehead, I straightened up, clicking safety back on and scanning the area.

Rick dropped his weapon back to the container and grabbed two metal pipes, throwing one at Carl, who caught it promptly.

"We need to make sure they stay down."

My eyes landed on the metal pile on the left corner, and I couldn't be happier that Axel was slow in his projects. A few weeks back, we got more scrap metal and slabs because he wanted to cover our outdoor kitchen, so we would be able to use it as long as possible before going back to the cafeteria.

"Alrighty, you guys stab. Hook, help me get that piece against the fence. We don't want to wake up to more of this fuckers," I said, not really waiting for any answers, crossing the yard. I grunted under the metal's weight until Merle came around and took most of the load on himself.

"Careful Doll or ya'll pull a muscle," He chuckled, and as a mature woman, I stuck my tongue at him. Adrenaline and panic were wearing off, the crisis was averted, even if just temporarily.

Together Merle and I propped the slab against the chain-link, securing the bottom of it with a few bricks. I wiped my hands on my pants and grinned at Dixon, patting his shoulder.

"Still alive."

"Yeah, but wasted a shit ton of ammo," Merle answered quietly, glancing back at Rick, who was finishing off the last walker.

"I know, but it's not that we had any choice."

"We shoulda led 'em out like I said."

I peered into his eyes and smiled softly. "Merle, listen closely because I won't repeat myself. You were right."

Older Dixon smirked and opened his mouth, probably to give me an asshole answered, but I interrupted him with a gasp when I noticed the lights of the incoming vehicle.

"They're back!"

Carl already took off, spotting the car earlier, and he let Daryl and others in. I furrowed my brows, realizing that it was definitely not the same car they left in, but Carl wouldn't let them in if they were strangers.

Rick opened the gate by the time Merle and I got closer, and a sudden squick of brakes made me cringe. And then doors opened, and my heart fluttered, a smile automatically showing on my face.

Tyreese got out first, asking for his sister, but he was followed by Daryl, and I jogged towards him, throwing myself into his strong arms. His big hands held me close, and his face was buried in my hair. I laughed happily and pulled away, bringing my hands to his face. I stroke those cheekbones and notices a few cuts that covered his face, but otherwise, he was all well. Here, back with us.

"Damn, El. Ya look like shit," His gravely voice vibrated in his chest, and I could feel it with how close we stood next to each other.

"Ditto." I gave him a quick kiss and pulled away, eying the others. They were all back, and Bob was grabbing bags out of the trunk.

"Right," I cleared my throat and stepped closer to the vehicle. "Bob, are you alright getting meds to A?"

"Yeah. How are they?" The man asked, but he was avoiding my eyes, focusing on the supplies he was carrying.

"Honestly, I don't know. Be careful. We heard shots not so long ago. Maggie and Oscar went to check it, but we had our own issues." I gestured towards the bodies behind us, and he gasped, nodding after a moment.

"I'll get them to Doctor S."

"Doc is ill, but Hershel should be there to let you in."

I looked around and quickly moved to the other side, circling Michonne in a tight hug. She froze for a moment but slowly brought her arms up, repeating my gesture.

"Glad you back, Katana."

"I really, really hate that nickname," She answered grumpily, and I chuckled, stepping back and letting her go. "So, what happened here?"

"Fence finally gave up," Rick was the one to answer, and I went back to Daryl, who was just getting out of the hug from his brother. The sheriff looked tired, both physically and emotionally.

"Go get some sleep," I told him, meeting his eyes. He chanced a quick glance at Daryl before looking at me again. "I got this. You go, get rest, and I'll take care of things."

I really hoped he would get my message. We stared at each other for a few heavy seconds before his shoulders dropped, and he smiled, only with a corner of his lips.

"Early morning tomorrow."

"Exactly."

"Alright, I'll see you at dawn." Rick threw his arm over Carl's shoulders, and slowly they made their way towards the prison. I ran a hand over my messy hair and turned to the others.

"OK, we can clear the bodies in the morning. And we need to try to mend the fence before more walkers come through," I started strategizing in the dim light coming from the car. "And we need to do new inventory on ammo. Let's go to sleep. I'll just check on Beth and the kids."

"I'll do it, Sugar. Ya had like three hours of sleep in the last two days. Go, I'll make sure they 'alright," Merle bumped in, and I struggled with emotions. I swallowed thickly and patted his shoulder.

"Thanks, Hook. Let me know if somethings wrong."

"And who's on watch?" Michonne asked before I had a chance to leave, and I shook my head.

"There's so few of us left, and the majority didn't sleep since before you left. I don't know if there's anyone who can."

"Right. I'll try. I had some shut-eye in the car," The woman announced, and I nodded.

Leaning on Daryl, slowly we made our way to our cellblock, the silence was a little overbearing, but exhaustion was winning over worry and grief. And yet, I still had to talk to Daryl, tell him what happened, and talk about Carol. Yes, this will be a fun night.


	61. Chapter 61

**Day 486**

I woke up early, the sun was barely filling our cellblock, but Daryl's stirring sprung me up. He was always an early riser, and I don't know why I thought that being tired will stop him. I blinked a few times, rubbing at my eyes, and felt his arm bring me closer to his chest. Daryl placed a soft kiss on top of my head, and I groaned.

"Why the fuck are you awake?" I asked him, my voice hoarse from sleep and not enough fluids in the past few days.

"Mm, a lot to do today," Daryl answer, running his hand up and down my arm. I snuggled closer and sighed heavily, knowing that he is correct.

"I hate when you're right, Big Boy."

I felt his body shake with silent laughter, and I bit him softly in his shoulder.

"Hey, careful, kitten. We ain't have time for that," Regardless of his words, Daryl placed his finger under my chin, lifting my face, kissing me slowly. My eyes fluttered shut, and I moaned in his mouth, giving him an opening. Our lips connected for a long, sensual kiss that was over way too quickly for my liking.

"Before we go, I want to hear all about your trip," I spoke softly, my fingers playing gently with his chest hair. When we managed to get to bed last night, sleep overtook me before I knew it, before I could ask even one question.

Daryl shrugged and sighed heavily. "Ain't nothin' interestin', El."

"Yeah, somehow I doubt that. Why were you gone for so long? You got me worried," I asked him softly and felt him stiffen under my touch, taking a deep breath.

"Got distracted 'bout twenty miles out. Some assholes on the radio were broadcastin' about a safe place, Terminus or somethin'," Daryl started, the rumble of his quiet voice was soothing, but I felt it was strained. "Missed the herd in front of us and slammed right in 'em."

"You are all alive, so you got out, as always."

"Yeah, but we lost the car and whole fuckin' night. Got the car in the mornin' from an old gas station. And then we got trapped at vets. Had to get out through the window, ya know?"

"Sounds like an adventure," I tried to brighten his mood, but he chuckled darkly at my words.

"Right. Bob tripped, nearly fuckin' fell, and died. But we found out prick didn't pack any meds. Just bottles and bottles of alcohol."

I stayed quiet for a moment, and I could see in my mind how angry Daryl had to be. "I'm proud of you," I told him softly in a whisper, and I felt his head snap towards me.

"Whatcha mean?"

"Well, Bob appeared uninjured, nothing broken, no black eye. A year ago, you'd beat the shit out of him."

Daryl hummed in reply but didn't say anymore. With a heavy sigh, I sat up and crawled over him, getting out of the bed. I threw on black pants that weren't covered in guts and blood and changed my top for a purple flannel. I was stalling, I knew that, but I was afraid of how the hunter would react to my news.

"Well, nothing major happened when you were gone," Great start, Elena. You almost sound convincing. "You saw the most extreme one."

"Ya could die."

"Yep. But we didn't. And at least herd is gone for now." I turned around, facing him, and put my work face on. My voice got cold, professional, and I hoped he wouldn't see hidden emotions. Daryl still half-layed on a bed, propped on his elbow, but I made sure not to get distracted by his arms, which were looking great in that position. He was still wearing a wife-beater, obviously as tired last night as I was.

"We found out who killed Karen and David." At this announcement, Daryl sat up, his face hardening, and his eyes drilled into mine.

"Who?"

"Carol."

Daryl snorted and shook his head, chuckling to himself until he realized that I was definitely not bullshitting him. "What the fuck?"

"I understand that it's a shock. Trust me; it was for me too--"

"Shock? It ain't fuckin' like her!" Daryl raised his voice and started to put his shoes on.

"She admitted it. I was there, Daryl. She didn't even flinch when Rick asked plainly if she did it. She stood like a statue, no remorse, no guilt. She answered 'yes' and walked away."

Daryl shook his head once more and stood up, starting to pace in a small space we had left inside the cell. He ran a hand over his hair a few times, and when I tried to touch his arm, he pulled away. It felt as if he would strike me, deep within my heart, but I understood.

"Where's she? I'll talk to 'er, find out why the hell she did that." He was putting his shirt on, quickly followed with a vest.

"She's gone. Rick drove her out yesterday morning," I admitted quietly and saw how he froze in his movements.

"That's bullshit! Why didn't ya wait for me?" Daryl finally looked at me with anger in his eyes, and coldness came back over my face.

"Because I couldn't have her around Lucy. Rick couldn't have her around Carl and Judith." At my words, hunter furrowed his brows, and after a deep breath, I continued. "I'm not innocent; you know that. And she's my friend too. But I would never do something like that! I would never kill one of us just because I thought it's a solution. Would you? Be able to look in your friends, your family's eyes and tell them what you did? Without an ounce of remorse or guilt?"

"I gotta find Rick," Daryl mumbled after a moment and strode out of the cell, grabbing his crossbow on the way. I closed my eyes for a moment and swallowed a sob that threatened to escape my lips.

It's okay. He just needs a little bit more time to cool down. We all need time to recover from what happened in the last few days. That's all.

* * *

Playing with Lucy was soothing, something I needed. She sat crossed legged opposite me on my cot; wooden blocks Mark created for her were placed in something resembling a tower, falling down every few minutes, followed by her giggle.

"Hey boss," A deep voice coming from the door startled me, and I froze for a moment before recognition struck.

"Hey, Oscar. How's Axel?" I turned around, making the building on my bed tumble down, and Lucy laughed loudly, clapping her small hands.

Oscar came in and sat down on the chair in the corner and sighed heavily. "Better, fever's gone. Luckily he just started showing symptoms before they came back."

"He's strong," I commented, and he smiled in return. "You should get some rest. Did you sleep at all?"

"Yeah, few hours. I'm good. There's still plenty to do."

"I know, but if you're--"

I couldn't finish my sentence when a loud explosion sounded from the outside, shaking the building's fundaments. Oscar and I stood up abruptly, looking at each other with wide eyes. Lucy started crying, scared of the sudden bang, and I quickly picked her up, racking my brain.

Placing a small kiss on her forehead, I stepped closer to the man and put the girl gently in his arms. Oscar snapped his eyes to my face, and I frowned.

"Sweety, be a good girl and stay with Oscar, alrighty? I'll be back in a second, just going to check on that noise," I gave her one more kiss and smiled when she nodded softly in agreement.

"Elena, you can't be serious."

"I know, I'm sorry. Oscar, I'm trusting you with her," I moved to the corner and threw my backpack on the bed, then reached to the top bunker and pulled the duffel bag down. "Grab some food and water. Make sure to take with you both bags. Wait for my signal. We either have to leave, or it's just some stupid joke."

"And how will I know?" Oscar asked but did as I said, pulling the backpack over his shoulder and gripping the other in his free hand.

I reached to my belt and unclasped the radio, passing it to him. "I'll find someone with another one. But if you don't hear anything from me in about thirty minutes and it seems bad out there, take her through the offices."

The Black man stared at me for a moment and then nodded, pushing Lucy further up, so she could wrap her arms around his neck. "Good luck, Boss."

"You too," With those last words, I spun around and ran down the stairs. Cellblock was empty, and doors made a loud noise when I pushed them open, narrowing my eyes at the sudden brightness.

I noticed others gathering by the fence leading to the fields, and my eyes went past them, spotting Rick strolling forward. Towards a group of vehicles, including a fucking tank. I jogged down, stopping next to Daryl, and finally, I was able to see who it was.

The Governor.

A sudden chill went down my spine, and for a moment, I felt as all air left my lungs, suffocating me from within. How was he alive? Why come back, was he really so stuck on revenge? But that's not what made me freeze in the spot, starting to think about three different escape routes we could all take.

In front of the fence, with hands tied behind their backs, kneeled Hershel and Michonne. They both looked unharmed, but that could change any second.

"Weapons," I whispered and finally moved my eyes, lifting my face to Daryl. His jaw was clenched, and he nodded, slowly moving to the side, trying not to alarm anyone of our actions.

"What does he want?" I asked no one in particular, still watching the scene ahead, trying to control my racing heart.

"Prison, and us gone," Merle was the one to answer, his face was grim, and he was scowling deeply, holding to the chain link with his hand.

"And Rick?"

"He would talk only to him," Daryl replied and patted my shoulder, making me twist towards him. His face was void of emotions, but those gorgeous blue eyes held fire, swirling with unspoken words. He passed me one of the automatic rifles and then distributed the rest to the others.

"Where's Lucy?" Maggie asked me, her voice shaking, and I couldn't blame her, not with the view of her father being a hostage to the psychopath.

"With Oscar inside, he got my radio. Anyone else got theirs?"

Once again, older Dixon was the one to help me out, passing a walkie-talkie to me. I clipped it to my belt and got down to one knee, bringing scope to my line of view. I was cursing in my head when I finally could see the Governor more clearly. He looked like a man who had nothing else to lose, who had the upper hand. And that was true. After all, he rolled in here with a fucking tank.

With others still recovering from sickness, we didn't have a lot of manpower. If they decide to attack us, they definitely had an advantage.

"I could take him out," Carl announced after few more moments of silence and observing. Other people behind us were getting ready, checking weapons, and organizing emergency evacuation if we needed one.

"Nah," Daryl told the boy, who huffed in reply.

"I'm a good shot!"

"Yeah, and ya could've start somethin' else."

"Carl's right. Governor's a psychopath," I started, not averting my eyes from the scope, noticing that the man I was talking about started to climb down from the track he was standing on. "Whatever he wants, he's not going to leave without it."

"Just let Rick handle it, El," Daryl's voice was gruff and stern, for the first time in a long time disagreeing with me. That's when Governor pulled Michonne's blade out of cheetah and pressed it to Hershel's neck, his face twisted in anger.

I evened out my breathing and tried to shut off other senses, ignoring the surprised and frightened gasps that came from my family. Moving my finger, I hovered it over the trigger, keeping my eyes on my target. Everything else became irrelevant, just breathing, finger over the trigger, and waiting for any wrong move from Governor.

It was the moment when his face twisted in something sinister and shook his head violently when a cold shiver run down my spine. Feeling I almost forgot about started building under my skin.

I hesitated for a second too long when Phillip rose the blade. It was not my sniper, the range wasn't the same, it was not my automatic, and it was steering slightly to the right. My bullets pierced the air at the exact moment Greene girls screamed in agony. They hit the Governor in the shoulder, but it was too late. Too slow, not efficient enough, hesitant.

Everything around me erupted into chaos, but I didn't move from my spot, not even when shots were fired back at us. All I could do was to question myself, freeze in the face of ultimate defeat.

I failed. Hershel and his family. Myself.

"Fuck! Move, Doll!" Ruff voice sounded somewhere around me, but it seemed like miles away until someone gripped my arm tightly, shoving me to the side to take cover behind a stone pillar. "Come on, snap out of it!"

Slowly I tilted my head, connecting eyes with Merle. Everything started coming to me slowly, shots and blood. So much fucking blood. I blinked quickly, willing tears away, and nodded sharply.

I whisked the radio from my belt and pressed the button. "Oscar, grab shit and get out!"

Glancing around, I realized that I lost more than a few seconds. Vehicles were moving in towards us, and the tank was shooting holes in the building behind us, shaking the ground. Finally finding my grounding, I grabbed Merle's hand and pulled him with me towards the big metal table, shoving it to the ground.

"Regroup!" I shouted, catching the attention of a few people in my vicinity. "Find cover, shoot tires, cover each other."

Seconds later, Daryl showed up on my other side, searching my eyes, worry, and sorrow filling his blue ones.

"What we gonna do 'bout tank?" He asked, shooting a few rounds from his gun, piercing the side of the nearest car and then the front wheels.

"We still should have some grenades," I told him, focusing my own fire on few people who started filling the courtyard, stepping over the fallen gate.

"Cover me. I got it!"

"Wait!" I yelled desperately, my fingers grabbing his vest. "Please, be careful."

"Always," Daryl answered quietly, gently prying my fingers off, and he moved for the metal container on the opposite wall. Merle and I gave him cover fire, taking down a couple of people with automatics. At the moment, it wasn't about the headshots but about disarming the enemy.

My eyes scanned the area, and I realized that the Governor wasn't among his people. I glanced ahead, and Daryl was gone from my view, my heart speeding up, but yells from behind me snapped my attention to the cellblock's entrance.

"Elena!" I spun around, crouching down, and saw Oscar with Lucy in his arms, hiding behind metal doors.

"Merle, cover me," I told the other Dixon, and he shifted, moving to the corner, firing when I started running towards the Black man. I pressed the trigger as I went, shooting at three people that came closer to us, bringing women to her knees.

"Go for the car!" Just as I said that, there was a loud explosion, and a cloud of smoke from the left, deeper into the courtyard, creating a perfect distraction.

Oscar took off until I reached one of the metal bins, taking cover behind it. "Merle!"

Dixon shot out of his spot, running towards us while I sprayed bullets at more Governor's people until he got to me. I took a look over my shoulder and sighed in relief when I saw Oscar opening the back doors of the blue SUV. Merle patted my shoulder, and I noticed we had a clear path, with no enemies directly focused on us at the moment.

I run as fast as I could, finally reaching the driver's side and whipping the door open, quickly jumping into the front seat. I stretched for the glove compartment, retrieving the keys and putting them in the ignition, trying to ignore how my hands shook. Merle slipped onto the seat next to mine, but I still didn't move.

"Daryl..." I whispered. Merle glanced behind him, my gaze following. Oscar was sweating, just like we were, and Lucy was whimpering in his arms, face hidden in his broad chest. My heart clenched not only because of that but also because I realized we couldn't wait. Merle nodded sharply, turning straight in his seat, looking ahead with his jaw clenched tightly.

There was barely any gunfire to be heard at that point. The bus was gone, hopefully already far away with other kids on board and sick from block A. I haven't seen Daryl since he ran off to grab grenades. I could only guess that explosion sound we heard a few minutes ago was him taking care of it.

"We gotta go, Doll," Merle said softly, his gaze lingering on the view behind us until he faced me.

He's alive. There was no other option. I kept telling myself that over and over again when I put the car in gear and finally pressed gas, speeding off, leaving prison behind us.

* * *

Numbness. I think that's the best way I could describe the state of all of us. It was late afternoon by the time we arrived at the hunting cabin. As we drove, I realized that we made so many plans, left food, and supplies in the cars, on the bus. We did drills in case of evacuation, so even kids knew what to do, where to go. But one thing we never fully agreed on was where we were supposed to regroup.

In the end, the three of us decided to go to the hunting cabin. It was far enough to avoid the herd that was inevitably coming to the prison, and everyone knew it's location.

When we finally made it, Merle admitted to being shot when I was frozen in my spot tight after... Clean through and through on his shoulder. I cleaned it the best I could, using some of the water we had, and stitched it up with the last resources from my first aid kit. I knew what I was doing, and my hands did the work automatically, my mind still blank and far away.

We were the only ones that arrived here. So far.

Luckily I didn't have time to put my proposal of moving the big freezer to the prison, so we had food for the next few days. Oscar followed my instructions and packed some cans and dry food into the duffel, and even though we only had three bottles of water, there was a stream not far from the cabin, so we could always refill them. There were few blankets in the car and a spare handgun with ammunition, but that was it. 

Oscar managed to grab my duffel, but all that was in there were few spare mugs for Glock and my sniper. My MP5 had half magazine left, and that's what Merle was carrying with him. I had only four knives left, and my bow was probably burning somewhere in prison.

Since we checked the freezer and my pack, we all drifted into silence. Lucy was asleep in the other room, while the three of us tried to develop a plan. Or more like Merle and Oscar were discussing it, while I couldn't shake images from a few hours before.

I still could see Hershel's eyes and his head rolling to the ground every time I closed my eyes. Maggie's screams and Beth's cries echoed in my mind as if they were still standing next to me.

But that was nothing comparing to not knowing. Where are the others? Are they still alive? Are they coming here, or did they forgot about the cabin?

Where is Daryl?

I squeezed my eyes shut and swallowed a lump that formed in my throat. I knew that I would survive without him, but it would be a painful life—full of ache and loneliness. I didn't need him to survive, but I wanted him. He was mine, and I was his; that was our choice. And now, without Daryl, I felt lost, unsure of what to do. Should we stay in here? For how long? For the first time in a long time, I found myself in a position where I didn't know what to do.

"It's gonna be alright, Doll," Merle's voice was quiet and lacking his usual cockiness. Slowly I pried my eyes open and looked him over.

Older Dixon had a ripped shirt, and his arms were dirty, mixed with walker's blood. His eyes were hunted; I could only guess that mine looked similar. After all, he got separated from his brother. Again.

"You don't know that," I mumbled, averting my eyes. We didn't know that. For all we knew, we would never see them again.

"Don't give me this shit, Elena," Merle snarled, his voice getting husky from anger, and I sighed heavily, trying to push my reservations aside. I gave Oscar a quick side glance before I spoke again.

"But we don't know that, Merle," I started gently this time. "We didn't see any signs of others on the way here, and we don't even know if they are alive."

"Stop. I didn't take ya for a pessimist, Doll. We need a plan, that's what, not all cry me a river shit ya pullin' now."

At those words, I snapped my head back, facing him, and pursed my lips. "Shut up, Dixon. Don't you think I know that? It's just three of us, and we have to protect Lucy. We have a scarce food supply and barely any water. I know we need to make a fucking plan, but a narcissistic sociopath just blew out our home. So excuse me if I want to take five and wallow for a moment before I'll go all ready and dandy."

I turned my back on him and went to my pack, looking for the item I hid there months ago. It was nearly finished, and right now, touching the cold metal surface gave me a little bit of peace.

That was until I remembered the purpose of it, realizing that I might never be able to give it to Daryl. I was scared for so long that I would push him too far, take a step too fast, making him end what we had. A silent sob escaped my mouth, and I clamped a hand over it to muffle the sound. My eyes were burning with unshed tears, and my whole body shook for a few moments.

I felt a rough, hesitant hand clasp my shoulder gently, so unlike the owner of said limb. Merle moved from his chair and now stood next to me, patting my shoulder awkwardly, and I almost snorted at the fact that I was probably the first woman he ever tried to comfort. I leaned in, and his shoulder went around my back while I hid my face in his shirt.

After a few moments, I pulled away, slightly lifting my face and giving him a sad smile. Slowly I opened my fist, and Merle's eyes landed on a wide silver ring. His brows furrowed, and he reached out, taking it between his fingers, inspecting it.

Memories flashed in front of my eyes, and I swallowed harshly. It was the same ring I found in the mall when Maggie was looking for one to give to Glenn. It seemed so long ago, almost in another life.

The wide white gold band had smooth edges with a chrome middle strip, but that's not what made it special. Through the middle, almost all the way around ran a simple design of an arrow. Something I carefully engraved there myself, and on the inside, there was small, barely visible ' _Always_ '.

"I never had the chance to say it," I started in a whisper, catching his attention. "I love you, so simple, right? It was there, between us, but I never said it out loud, and now I may never be able to say it. He might be lying dead back in prison for all we know."

"He ain't," Merle stated confidently. "Ya know he's capable, and he'll fight to find us. And I can tell ya that my 'Lil brother also loves ya."

I stared at him for a few long moments, blinking rapidly. "How can you know that?"

Merle seemed to think for a moment until he grinned and told me to wait here. I mean, where the hell am I supposed to go?

"They're alive," Oscar said quietly when Dixon went to the bedroom, and I hoped he wouldn't wake up Lucy. "Daryl and Axel, and the others. We have to believe it."

I sighed a little and nodded, but my heart ached, and it was hard for me to have faith. "We got separated like that once. Eight months before we found prison, we were on He--Hershel's farm, and it got overrun," I said in a monotone voice when Merle came back to the room. "We tried to protect it, but it was an old house, no way we would survive. Some tried to drive them away and shoot them from the cars, but it was too many. When we left, I was with Rick, Carl, and Hershel. We went to the interstate where we lost Sophia, Carol's daughter, and we were the only ones. For two long hours we waited until finally, others showed up."

"We'll find the others."

"But how long? How long can we search before we have to think about Lucy, supplies, and actually finding something more secure?"

At that, both men fell silent, unsure how to reply. It was the ugly truth. It was just three of us, with limited supplies and weapons. And we had a child to think of.

"We'll know, Sugar," Merle finally spoke up, taking his seat around the table, laying his fist on the table next to me. I furrowed my brows when he opened it up, and I noticed what's in his palm.

"Um," I cleared my throat and cocked my brows, lifting my eyes to his. "No offense, Hook, but it's kind of soon to hit on dead brother's girlfriend, don't you think?"

Merle rolled his eyes and huffed with annoyance. "It's Daryl's, smartass. He found it when he was out with Katana, but he ain't had balls to ask ya. That's why we were goin' alone on a hunt the other day."

Slowly I reached out, placing the ring for Daryl on a table and taking hold of two bands offered by Merle. A choking sound came out of my lips when my fingers stroked beautifully crafted metal.

The engagement ring was infinity twisted all the way around, with small diamonds on the first two twists on each side of a middle gem, which was a medium-sized, round cut diamond. Another band was created from the same metal; also infinity twisted, covered with small rocks across all surface.

They were beautiful, I never saw myself as the marrying type, and Daryl-- well, he was not the one to be tied down, at least not before the apocalypse. But none of this mattered. What did was the fact that Daryl felt like he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, no matter how long it would be.

And now we might reach that point. I covered my mouth when another loud cry came from it and shut my eyes for a moment, trying to calm my racing heart.

We will find others. We are not some pushovers, and maybe today was the worst that happened to us, but it was not the end of our story. It couldn't be.

I opened my eyes with a shaky breath and slowly put the bands on my left hand's ring finger. The fit wasn't perfect, a little bit too loose, but my knuckle stopped it from slipping, as long as I keep my current weight. If not, I could always tie a piece of string through it.

I will find them, find Daryl. There was no other path, only towards him.


	62. Chapter 62

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Today a little shorter, but trust me, it leads to an awesome (in my humble opinion) chapter, which will begin season 5. So read, and review, tell me your opinions. Is there something you want to see Elena do in the future? Let me know!
> 
> Cheers :)

**Day 487**

The morning after the fall of the prison was cold and foggy. According to my calculations, it was mid-October by now, and nights were getting colder. That's something we will have to think about; Oscar and Lucy were the only ones with warmer clothes on, while Merle and I had only thin shirts on. Plus, Dixon's was in terrible condition with holes and cuts all over it.

Last night we decided that we would leave tomorrow if no one else shows up; we would check surrounding towns and find the bus and others. We tried for hours to use radios and our usual channel, but there was no reply. Finally, Merle said we should conserve battery and keep it off unless we split up on a run or hunt.

I woke up when Lucy steered beside me, and since then, I couldn't go back to sleep, even though it was still very early. Quietly I left the room, stepping over snoring Merle, who layed on the floor, one arm over his face, and the other under his head. I stifled a giggle, realizing how similar the two Dixons were.

Yawning, I made my way to the main room, silently waving at Oscar, who sat in the chair, by the window, weapon in his lap. I placed my reigns on and put dirty flannel over it, shivering at the thought of going outside without a jacket, but we didn't have any other choice. I strapped the machete to my belt and checked that Glock is loaded before putting my shoes on. I really needed a new pair, but first, we had to find clothes for Lucy, to make sure she won't get ill.

"I'm going to the stream and check if I can find any tracks," I announced quietly, checking the meat that I took out of the freezer last night and mixed with several herbs that were left in the cabin.

"You sure it's safe, Boss?" Oscar asked me, and I smiled at him reassuringly.

"I did it many times. Plus, I got a radio. If somethings wrong, I'll call you guys." With that, I opened the doors quietly and stepped into a chilly October morning. I walked quickly over to the car and took a big milk container out of the trank.

Luckily the stream wasn't that far away, about twenty minutes walk from the hunting cabin, and I made it in good time. When the clearing came into view, I stopped in my steps, crouching behind the bushes, my eyes searching for any signs of other people. I couldn't see any tracks on the way here, no animals, no humans or walkers, but that didn't mean anything.

Slowly I took my blade and Glock out, making sure that my steps are silent when I approached three Winnebagos. They were parked close to each other, empty washing line between them. I couldn't hear anyone, but it didn't mean shit nowadays.

I walked around them, ensuring that, indeed, there were no people around. Then, I banged on the doors one by one, quickly inspecting the insides of the first two vehicles. It seemed like whoever was here left in a hurry.

Stepping outside, I looked around more, on the dirt road that leads to the west, and found tire tracks. They looked relatively fresh, but it was the long, wide tracks that made my veins boil. The prison was to the west of here, and that looked suspiciously like a caterpillar trail.

My knuckles turned white, I was gripping to my weapons so tightly, trying to contain my anger and inner pain. Fucker.

I turned around swiftly and marched to the last RV, pushing the door open, raising my gun in case there was anyone there, but just like the others, it was empty. I checked the small kitchen and peeked into some of the cabinets before my eyes landed on a square table by the window.

A small black book layed there, the only item on the metal surface, and I reached for it, my hands shaking violently. I opened it carefully, and my eyes teared up when I saw neat writing on the bottom of the opening page. Hershel Greene.

It was where fucking Governor made his camp. Where he kept Michonne and Hershel before bringing them with him as a bargaining chip.

Swallowing my tears, I unclipped the walkie-talkie from the belt and pressed the button. "Oscar, do you copy?"

I didn't want to risk anyone else to find this place, or worse, Governor's people coming back in here and taking it away. Though, I had serious doubts that any of them survived or that they knew the area enough to follow back without vehicles.

" _Copy. Are you alright?_ " Oscar's deep baritone came through the radio, and I replied immediately.

"Yes, I'm fine. Listen, is Merle awake?"

After a few more seconds of silence, a different, more ruff voice answered me. " _I'm now, Doll_."

"I found a place. It has supplies, gas, and a new, better ride."

" _What about others?_ "

"I know, Hook. My idea is I stay here overnight, prep the place, rearrange things and make sure we can move out when you get here tomorrow," I told him, and it took few minutes for him to reply.

" _Ya sure it's safe?_ "

"I'll make it so. You remember stream about a mile out north-east? It's literally here."

" _Yeah, I do_."

"Great. That meat on the counter? I wanted to do jerky from it, do you know how to do it?"

" _Is a day of insultin' me, or somethin'? I've been huntin' since I was 'lil grasshopper. Of fuckin' course, I know how to make damn jerky!_ "

I chuckled to myself and didn't hide it when I pressed the button again. "Just testing you, Hook. It would be great if you'd make it. Pack any warmer clothes you find in the cabin and food, blankets. I'll go through everything tomorrow."

" _Sure thing, Boss,_ " Oscar took over the radio, and I knew he will get things going. " _We should turn off walkies and check in again later. Midday, okay?_ "

"Yeah, sounds good. Oh, Oscar?"

" _Yeah?_ "

"Don't forget my bags, please."

" _Wouldn't dream of it, Boss, I like myself alive,_ " The man jocked, and after that, I switched off the radio, clipping it back to my belt.

Right, time to do things around here.

* * *

The first thing I did was to inspect the engines to the best of my knowledge. I checked the oil and made sure that nothing looks out of place, but I was no mechanic even with all Daryl's lessons.

I picked the RV, which looked the most functional, and then fixed a quick walker alert system, using a washing line and some pans, tying them to the trees around me. I used the remaining string and connected it in the middle, leading it through Winnebago's window, securing few forks to its end. Now I can stay inside for the night, and even if some walkers came in, I would be alerted.

I collected all the supplies together, some canned food, and a few water bottles. There were three first aid kits all together, and I placed them next to each other. Few clothing pieces, mainly women, but I found a red jumper, something maybe Merle could wear. There were many blankets and sheets, so at least we will be warm during the nights. There was some booze in one of the cupboards, and I made a mental note to hide it from Merle, at least until we find some kind of safe spot.

I siphoned gas from other RV's and even found some sewing kit. If anyone else will arrive at the cabin, we will have comfortable, stocked transport to get us going for a while. Before it got dark, I filled the tank with water, so we could wash up and boiled water over a small campfire I made between vehicles. I rathered not to waste gas canister for those purposes, we would need it more on the road.

I checked the alerting lines and retired after checking with guys for the last time when the sun hid behind the horizon. I didn't dare to leave any light or candles on, making myself comfortable on a small sofa, staring at the cream ceiling.

The decor of the RV was reasonably straightforward. Whoever owned it before took care of it even during the apocalypse, cabinets and surfaces were relatively clean, and there was no dust around. There were doors and a square metal table with benches on either side with a small window next to it. It was covered with ugly, flowery curtains. Further in, narrow doors were leading to a tiny bathroom, top of the toilet was moving, allowing more space when not in use. The shower would fit one person, barely, but it was something, and I wasn't about to complain about it.

The other side had a small cream couch I was currently lying on and a small kitchenette with a couple cupboards and a stove. A medium-sized gas canister was hidden under it, and from what I could tell, it still had some inside it.

Further into the vehicle, at the back, there was a queen-sized bed with covers and sleeping bags on it. That's where I placed all the clothes I found and into overhead cabinets.

It wasn't the biggest or most spacious RV, but it would do us fine, even if more people from the prison would find us. My heart started beating a little bit faster when I remembered that Oscar said nobody shown up. If that's still the case tomorrow, we will go ahead with the plan. Drive to the nearest town and search for any trails of others. I tried to think where they would go, and I was positive that Rick, Maggie, and Sasha would try for some secure building. Something visible and easy to defend or escape from.

I wasn't sure about the others, and if Daryl was alone, he would probably try to stay hidden in the woods. But if he ends up with someone else, he would try to keep them safe, and the open forest wasn't the place. I groaned lowly, and my eyes landed on rings that decorated my left hand. I couldn't understand why he didn't go to the cabin. He knew exactly where it was, and even on foot, it didn't take that long to reach it.

I layed there for hours before I fell into a restless sleep, dreaming about blood, smoke, and Hershel's blood on my hands when I tried to stop the bleeding.

* * *

**Day 489**

Alright, so plans are great as long as nothing gets in the way. We didn't leave the campsite as planned.

When Merle, Oscar, and Lucy pulled over and parked next to one of the RVs, I immediately noticed Dixon's pale and sweaty forehead. No, he wasn't bitten, luckily, but figures that his bullet wound started being infected.

Before I could explain to them what this place was, I urged them inside the chosen camper and stripped Merle of his dirty, rugged shirt. You know when he's in bad shape when he doesn't even try to make sexual innuendo in a situation like that.

The wound was oozing pass and was red around the edges when I peeled off the previous bandage. Oscar admitted that Dixon didn't let him check on it and became sicker overnight, not being able to stay on watch. I sent the Black man to bed, tired he was no help to anybody, and he needed to take care of himself as well.

With Lucy's help, making it into a game, I cleared Merle's wound, pouring alcohol over it and applying antiseptic cream on both sides of his shoulder. Luckily it was through and through, no need to dig the bullet out. I gave Merle some painkillers and antibiotics from the first aid kits, counting how many we had and how long we could go without looking for more.

That was yesterday. Today we finally hit the road. Last night alongside Oscar, we scanned one of the old maps I had in my backpack, and we pinpointed a few small towns in a vicinity where others could hole up.

First stop - Molena.

The town was tiny. I wasn't even sure if it was big enough to call it that; maybe a better description would be a village. Merle was still weak, though his fever gave up late last night, and now Lucy was playing nurse with him, providing him water and food, checking his forehead like I did yesterday. The way he answered her and how gentle he tried to be with the girl made me smile for the majority of the short trip to our destination.

When we arrived, it was like a ghost town, there were few old houses and shops, but most of them had broken windows and doors. I didn't feel comfortable leaving Merle alone with Lucy, and Oscar insisted on going with me, so we decided to take it slow, one by one.

I parked RV in front of every building, leaving Merle the gun and keys if he would have to leave quickly. In the meantime, Oscar and I swept through the abandoned houses, not finding any traces of our family. There wasn't any food we could scavenge either, and I was even more grateful for finding Governor's campsite.

We did scavenge some more clothes, something for Merle and Oscar, and I managed to get a leather jacket from one of the last buildings. It was slightly too big, but it would stop the wind and protect my arms from potential scratches.

Lack of significant amounts of walkers indicated that someone was here, not that long ago, and after a short conversation with men, we agreed to move on to the next place.

It was bigger, Zebulon. Still a town but definitely for Georgia's wealthier population, buildings were more modern, and there was a golfing club just a few miles west of it.

I drove slowly through the streets, looking for any signs of people or walkers, but except for a few strangles, it was empty as well. It was late afternoon, and I wasn't comfortable driving during the night, so I was also looking for a secluded area to park the RV.

Slowly I drove past the tipped down bus, not the one we had in prison, and decided it would be a good idea to stop somewhere around here. It was on the town's outskirts, few stories brick building on the side, but besides that, there was just one old looking house and train tracks, which led north.

"Stop!" Oscar's urgent yell made me flinch, and automatically I pressed the brakes, stopping RV violently. I snapped my head to the man next to me, furrowing my brows because there was nothing around us and no other people. "There."

I looked over in the direction he pointed, and my heart started to beat faster, a small amount of hope creeping inside it.

"Stay here, sweety, look after Merle," I told Lucy gently, and she nodded.

"OK, mama." The girl turned around and jumped on the bed next to Dixon, who groaned, awaken by sudden movements.

"We going to check something, will be back in a few," I told him, and he groaned in confirmation.

I turned off the engine and opened the doors as quietly as possible, stepping onto the road, my eyes scanning the area for any dangers. With Oscar by my side, we made our way to the intersection, where rail tracks split into three different directions. Blinking few times, I read it over and over again, finally facing Oscar and grinning like an idiot.

"They're alive, at least some of them," I said lowly, my throat feeling suddenly dry, and I looked over the sign once more.

It was a makeshift sign, with a map of Georgia and roads marked in black, with a star in the middle. All that was wrapped in clean foil and nailed to the tall spike buried in the ground. But that's not what made us so happy. It was writing, presumably in blood, below the map.

'GLENN GO TO TERMINUS, MAGGIE'

That's when something clicked, and I remembered the morning before our home was blown to pieces, conversation with Daryl and what he told me.

"They would go there," I said confidently and stood closer, analyzing the paper and memorizing it so we can place it on our own map.

"You certain?" Oscar asked, and I nodded without paying attention.

"When Daryl went to get meds, with others. They heard something on the radio. Broadcasts about that place. So at least Daryl, Michonne, Bob, and Tyreese know about it. I don't know why they didn't show up at the cabin, but that seems like the place to go."

"And if it's a lie?" I scoffed but couldn't disagree with Oscar. After all, we have just been attacked, trusting strangers won't be easy, not that it was before.

"Then we move on. But we should check. Maggie is obviously separated from others, but at least she's going in that direction. If Glenn's alive, he'll go as soon as he sees it, so would the others. Those tracks are all around, and it seems as all roads lead to that place. No matter where others are, they should see some other signs."

"If there are other signs," The man told me skeptically, but I shook my head. I traced one of the black lines and tapped it, glancing at Oscar.

"We are here. That's about seventy miles from Terminus. They wouldn't go through all the trouble of coming out here without leaving other signs along the way."

"As long as you're sure, Boss. You know I trust your judgment, and Dixon will follow you wherever you go."

I cocked my eyebrows at that statement, and Oscar chuckled before explaining further. "If Daryl's alive and we find him, and he finds out that Merle left your side, he would track him down and stuck an arrow in his ass."

We both laughed at that and started back towards the RV.

That was hope, something to look forward to. And I pushed aside grim thoughts of not finding anyone at the end of the road because that was not an option. I had to stay strong and positive for others to keep them going. I knew that Oscar wasn't leader material, and Merle could easily slip back to his old habits if I wouldn't keep an eye on him.


	63. Chapter 63

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm so fucking excited for this chapter, and I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it! Please comment and leave me your opinion. Yes, it's my story, and yes I have the majority of it planned, but I still value your opinions, and if there are some ideas I'd like, I wouldn't oppose adding them. How does Elena do so far? Do you like where her character is going and how progressively through the story she developed? Let me know.
> 
> Cheers :)

**Day 493**

It took us four long days to reach our destination. Or get us somewhere near it at last. Seventy, long, walker infested miles. And not once we saw any signs of others, except for three more messages, written in walker blood, by Maggie, who apparently found Sasha and Bob along the way.

But about halfway, following their direction, it stopped. Right after we took a long road over the dark bridge, none of us was willing to risk venturing into. It could mean that they finally found each other, Maggie and Glenn, that is. Another option was less appealing, and I tried not to think about that.

In the meantime, Merle recovered. His fever was gone, and the gunshot wound was slowly healing, no puss, no redness around the edges. He was stronger every day, and I knew he's going to be okay when he offered to keep me warm at night.

Yesterday in the late afternoon, about five miles out of the Terminus, we decided to leave the RV, safe what gas we had left. We didn't know what to expect and if we could trust people in this new place, so better safe than sorry. We weren't able to scavenge anything more on the way. Every small town en route was already plundered. We decided to stay here overnight, packing few things, leaving some supplies and bulkier stuff in the RV. We hid the vehicle in the bushes, cutting some branches and covering it as best as we could.

Backpack each and duffel with weapons was enough for now, and we set up in the late morning after some breakfast, preparing for a long walk.

We couldn't be walking for longer than forty minutes when we came out of the woods, to the small clearing, with a wooden cabin in the middle. I stopped immediately, crouching down and urging others to do the same.

"You think someone there?" Oscar asked, but before I could answer, a car pullover from the north, and I was wondering if it was connected to the gunshots we heard some time ago.

I put my finger to my lips, and they stayed quiet, even Lucy, who for a child knew when to remain silent, which I was grateful for. After few more minutes, I became unrestful and decided to check it out.

"You stay here, I'll holler if I need you," I told them and saw that Merle wanted to argue with me, but I just shook my head and glared at him sternly.

Slowly I made my way towards the cabin, making sure to stay hidden from the view and not step on anything that would make noise.

"I knew they trouble. Looked too ruff, you know?" I heard the male voice say, but I still couldn't see him or if he was by himself.

" _Shame, they'd fit in_ ," Another voice was female, but it came from radio, small static making it hard to hear properly.

Carefully I walked along the sidewall of the cabin, stopping near the edge. Making sure my hair won't slip from the ponytail, I peaked, noticing a man with his back turned to me. A quick scan of the area ensured me he was by himself, and I hid again, raising one finger towards Oscar and Merle.

"Alex didn't get it," The man kept talking. "See, I knew the chick with the sword was bad news. Bitch looked like a weapon with a weapon."

At those words, my blood boiled, anger rising within me. How many people, especially women, carried a proper sword?

" _He was always a sloppy-ass mother_." Came reply, and I reached down, unclipping my Glock, switching safety off, and trying to control my breathing.

"Yeah, I told Albert I want the kid's hat after they bleed him out," The male announced, chuckling to himself, and I saw red. I didn't understand why they would bleed him out, but it couldn't be a coincidence.

With a deep breath, I stepped from the side of the house, my gun pointed at the back of the man's head, but it seemed as I wasn't the only one.

"Keep your finger off the button and drop it," I raised my eyebrows when a familiar face snapped to me while I loaded a bullet into the chamber.

"Well, hello. Fancy to see you here, guys!" I chirped, glaring at the man who was still kneeling on the dirt road. He dropped the radio, and I quickly picked it up, not losing him from my aim. I repositioned myself, so I could see his face and nodded towards Carol. After all, she was here first.

" _They're only doing eight before public face_ ," Voice in the radio stated, and I hoped she won't get nervous when Baseball Cap doesn't answer.

"Listen, y'all don't have to do this," The man tried to plead his case, and I smiled, very slowly, putting on my best murder face. His eyes snapped to my face, and the next time he spoke, it was with a dose of uneasiness. "Whatever you want, we got a place where everyone's welcome."

"Shut up, man," Tyreese ordered, Judith cuddled in his arms, asleep.

"Okay."

"We're friends of the chick with the sword and the kid in the hat," Carol told him calmly, and I watched his face morph from cockiness to fear.

"So, tell us, did they arrived by themselves? And better don't lie to me, I've been in a _very_ shitty mood for the past week," I asked the man, and he swallowed before averting his eyes to the ground.

"Only them." Hm... strike one. I cocked my head to the side and nodded slowly.

"I see. And how many of you in there? 'Cause I assume you're from Terminus."

"Yeah, not that many. People come and go." He lifted his face but still couldn't meet my eyes, muscle in his jaw clenching. I glanced up for a second at Carol and Tyreese, but they didn't seem bothered by my questions, both standing guard, and she was still pointing at the man.

"Sure. Last question. Bleed out the boy. What did you mean?" My voice dropped down, nearly a snarl because again, just the thought of Carl bleeding somewhere was making my stomach twist.

A quick look to the right, shallow breathing, and a loud swallow later, the man finally looked at me. "They attacked us!"

" _Right_. One woman and a child attacked your whole compound. Makes sense." Not waiting for his reply, I smiled once more and pulled the trigger.

Gunshot echoed in the air, and I quickly pulled safety back on, holstering my weapon. Carol didn't even flinch, but Tyreese looked at me with worry.

Finally acknowledging that they are here, I dropped my stern face and pulled Carol for a tight hug. She did the same, after a moment of hesitation, but her arms finally wrapped around me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to her ear and heard a sharp intake of air before she pulled away, holding onto my shoulders.

"Don't ever be sorry. What I've done," At that, my eyes snapped to Tyreese, who looked tired and defeated, sick of this world. "I'd do the same if I were you."

I nodded and wiped at the corners of my eyes, where some tears threatened to spill down my cheeks.

It was when I gently hugged Tyreese, making sure to not wake up Judith, that Merle and Oscar, with Lucy on Black man's back, came charging from behind the house. They both stopped in their tracks and, after a moment of shock, welcomed part of our family.

After a short chat, we all turned around, grabbing the bag that man left on the road, and walked into an abandoned cabin that was here. To regroup and make a rescue plan, because there was no doubt in my mind that it was just that.

* * *

Carol as always proven resourceful. She managed to kill one walker on the way to the Terminus, and I found out what the blankets were for. She cut holes in the middle, gutted the geek, and used its insides and blood to cover fabric. Unfortunately, we had only two, but that's why while she and Merle were covering themselves in guts, I was piecing together my Barrett.

I used mud to cover my face and some on my hair, to not be spotted from far away. Always try to blend in with your surroundings. I was missing my khaki jacket right now.

They both had automatic rifles and their blades, and I handed Merle second radio, switching to our channel, in case any of us would have any problems.

When we quietly approached the fence, me, between Merle and Carol, avoiding walkers, I wanted to scream. The first view of the supposed sanctuary for all showed an old rail station, and it seemed we ended up at the back of the place. Rusty, brown supply container with white painted A was hard to miss. And from there, eight guys were pulling and pushing four people to the ground, bounding their hands and behind their backs.

It took everything to stay still when I recognized Rick, Glenn, Bob, and Daryl.

They were alive. He was alive! But for how fucking long? Where were they taken? I reached out and clenched my hand over Merle's jacket, needing some kind of anchor to not barge in and make the situation even worse. We needed a plan, and those fireworks Carol took with her better do the job.

Merle gently pried my fingers off himself and squeezed them shortly before nodding and urging us to move. We went around the corner, coming to the front of the compound, where our chance was.

"There," Merle whispered and pointed to the vast white container, which looked like a gas tank. "Ya make a hole, shoot crackers, and we got ourselves big ass distraction."

Carol and I nodded, but I started standing up to go back to the previous spot. "I'll go back to that container."

"Why? Ya can shoot through here."

"Yeah, but I have a good view from there, still can get the snipers. Plus, when guys escape from wherever they are, they would go back. We know that Michonne and Carl are there too. Rick wouldn't leave them. I'll make sure their escape route is clear."

"Makes sense. I'll wait two minutes before starting," Carol said and gave me a short hug before I jogged off.

Finding the perfect tree wasn't hard, especially that I already picked it when we first arrived in the area. It had a clear view of the buildings in front and decent sized branches, which hopefully will hold my weight. Grunting a little bit and cursing, finally, I sat down, my eyes well above the fences. Sun was to my left, so there was no fear that scope will reflect, and it wasn't in my eyes. Good.

I just managed to make myself comfortable, legs swinging on both sides of the branch, crossed in the ankles when an explosion shook the ground. Alrighty, showtime.

Rushing, I unfolded the bipod and wedged it in the wood, looking down the scope to check my view and movements. Perfect. I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, shutting unnecessary noises and other distractions off.

I leaned in, my hand wrapping around the handle, positioning myself, so my shoulder was pressed tightly to the but of a gun.

I could see the panic the explosion created, and hopefully soon, the herd we saw will come and do the hard part of the job. But for now, people on the roofs.

 _This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine_.*

My first target was a bulky man standing on the top of the closest building, his back turned to me, and he was shooting down, trying to defend his home. Luckily he was an idiot and didn't move much. Breathing in and out steadily, I pulled the trigger, and when I was sure that bullet reached its target, I moved the rifle gently, looking, searching.

 _My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life_. *

Another one was a woman, no older than me. She looked like she was screaming orders, sporadically using her rifle until it clicked, and she reached her pocket to clip the second mug. Barrett was as gentle and sensitive as I remembered, it was enough to press it gently, and the woman swayed, dead body dropping down off the building.

 _Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true._ *

There were three shooters left on the roofs, at least on those buildings I could see, and my next target was an older man with an automatic shotgun. I could see shells popping out every time he pumped it. It was like muscle memory, not feeling the breeze on my skin, not hearing screams and groanes around me.

 _I must shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will ..._ *

Another man seemed to be smarter. He was facing my direction, and his eyes fanatically searched for the person who just shot down his friends. That's something I didn't anticipate. Yes, I was far away, but if he looked hard enough and through the scope, he could find me. As soon as his forehead was in the center of my sight, I fired.

 _My rifle and I know that what counts in war is not the rounds we fire, the noise of our burst, nor the smoke we make._ *

The last visible person was a woman, and she was shot in the arm from the other side, quickly moving behind the corner, facing me. She was pressing onto her wound, and her breathing was labored, probably from the pain. With quick repositioning and adjusting, I pulled the trigger once more, getting rid of everyone alive in my sight.

 _We know that it is the hits that count. We will hit ..._ *

I was patient. I know, it seems like a joke, but in moments like that, when it was just Barrett and me, I felt relaxed, at ease, so even waiting wasn't bothering me. I'm not sure how much time passed when I noticed four people shooting their way towards the container, but I recognized them instantly when I looked through the scope. Swinging to the left, I hit the first walker that was in their way.

 _My rifle is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother._ *

I pulled the trigger once more, taking down the walker that was banging on the doors to the cart, and that's when Rick came into my view. He glanced around with unease but quickly focused back on his task, pulling at the door.

 _I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its barrel._ *

And I focused on protecting him. With a steady breath, I squeezed my finger twice, getting rid of two geeks that were sneaking on sheriff from behind. By that time, doors were open, and Rick himself went back to firing around him. Now the more challenging part.

 _I will keep my rifle clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready._ *

Adjusting my hold on the handle, I tilted the weapon down, focusing on walkers closest to the fence, the direction they were running to. I fired and quickly ejected the empty magazine, reaching to my pocket for a full clip. Checking it's the right way up, I slammed it in place. It clicked, and I went back to glancing down the scope.

 _We will become part of each other. We will ..._ *

It was dangerous, as I could hit one of us, but I was experienced enough to know when to shoot. My sight landed on Daryl, who was fighting off two walkers. When he pushed one to the wall and turned around to deal with the other, I reacted, pressing my finger. Blood splashed on the wall, and the hunter swiftly turned around, ready to finish it off, only to find it already dead. Your welcome, honey.

 _Before God, I swear this creed._ *

They were finally reaching fences, and my focus shifted to the walkers on this side. All five of them dropped dead in a matter of seconds.

 _My rifle and I are the defenders of my country._ *

There were few new faces among those who were dear to me. One of them, a ruff-looking guy with ginger hair, struggled with a walker, who surprised him. Taking a deep breath and concentrating, I lined up the geek's head in the crisscross, and when I was sure I won't hit Red, I pulled the trigger. I was relieved to see I didn't kill the new guy. He dropped the body to the ground, and his face was splattered with blood, but his brows were furrowed, eyes snapping in my direction, searching before he refocused on the undead ahead of him.

 _We are the masters of our enemy._ *

They started making over the fence, but it also meant walkers were gaining on them. I fired once more at the geek that was right behind Glenn.

 _We are the saviors of my life._ *

Finally, it was only Red left on the other side, and I shot at the walker to his right, who tried to reached out and scratched the man.

 _So be it, until victory is America's and there is no enemy, but peace!_ *

They were out, running ahead and under the tree I was sitting in. So focused that they didn't notice me, but I was surprised that Daryl ignored all the shells lying in the grass.

Quick evacuation. Pulling back into reality, I realized how fast my heart was beating and how much I was sweating. I collapsed bipod, switched the safety off, and pulled the strap over my shoulder.

"They're out," I spoke into the radio, and after a moment, received an answer.

" _So are we. Where about?_ " Merle sounded out of breath, and I hoped he didn't open his wound. It would really be a pain in the ass.

"My direction, they marching further into the woods, I'm following."

I made my way down with those last words, which honestly was much more challenging than climbing up. Mindful of Barrett, I swang from the bottom branch and landed in a crouch, wiping sweat out of my brows. I scrunched my nose at the brown stains on black leather and pulled the rug from the back pocket of my pants. Something Daryl made me do a long time ago, and so far, I was thankful.

Whipping as much mud off my face as I could, slowly I made my way after my people, not willing to be left behind. Even if Carol and Merle would intercept them.

It took me few minutes to catch up to others, silently stepping on the grass and moss, to not startle them. I came behind those new guys, whose faces I didn't recognize, and then heard Rick speaking.

"You two did that?"

I scoffed, making four people in front of me jump and aimed guns in my direction. "They wish."

All faces turned towards me, and I grinned like a maniac. "Now, now it's not polite to aim at someone who saved your life twice, Red."

Guy's reply was interrupted by Daryl, who pushed past him, making the guy stumble. My eyes filled with tears, and I walked forward, meeting him in the middle, wrapping my arms around his neck.

Daryl's arms were tight around my body, burying his face in my neck, while a loud sob escaped my mouth, and I clung to him as if he would disappear in seconds. I was lifted off the ground, and he spun us around before gently setting me back, pulling me slightly away.

My hands moved to his face, currently covered in bruises, and climbed on my tiptoes, kissing him gently, being careful of his split lip. It was sweet, reassuring, and the grip on my waist loosened a little when I stopped.

"I love you," I blurted out quietly, my mouth running off without my consent, fear of losing him again finally reaching the surface. "I wanted to tell you so many times but was afraid you would run for the hills."

At that, Daryl pulled me closer, ignoring voices around us and comments coming out of Merle. He kissed me hard, pressing his lips firmly onto mine, demanding entrance with his tongue over my bottom lip. I sighed happily and pried my mouth open, our tounges dancing together for few moments before Daryl pulled away.

"I love ya too," He mumbled with his forehead against mine. I smirked and pulled away completely, showing him my left hand.

"I know! Now you're stuck with me forever." There were few gasps around us, and Merle laughed loudly, being shushed by Rick, but my eyes stayed on younger Dixon. His eyes went round for a moment, his face redding, and he cleared his throat uncomfortably. I reached to the small pocket inside my jacket and held a ring to him. It was awkward, but we were in front of our family, plus few newbies, so I wasn't ashamed.

"Well, Big Boy? Forever and Always, what you say?" I asked him nervously when he didn't move to take it. His eyes snapped to me, and I could see all emotions swirling in the ocean of blue.

"Ya crazy as they come, woman," He replied gruffly, taking the ring and quickly putting it on his finger. Daryl cupped my face and pressed his forehead to mine, letting me inhale his musky scent. It was mixed with a fresh smell of forest with a coppery note of blood.

"Only for you." Before I could enjoy another kiss and forget about the world around us, I registered voices near, and with a sigh, I closed my eyes before stepping next to Daryl, grabbing his hand in mine.

"Did they just got married?" The man I decided to call Red asked the short woman that was standing next to him. She seemed small standing next to the man, but she also looked fierce, and I saw her swinging knife at walkers on the way to the fence. She definitely wasn't defenseless.

"Actually, what I believe occurred was she accepted his offered somehow in time when they were separated, without him asking, and now she said yes and proposed herself," Oh, this guy will be called Hairdo. Like seriously, why would he do it to himself, I get apocalypse and all that, but that's like two decades old.

"That was almost correct assessment," I told them, letting them know they weren't as quiet as they thought. I looked over to Rick and smiled widely, and then moving my eyes to the others. There were still few important faces missing, but they were here. Except for four new people, Rick and Daryl, I could see Michonne and Carl. Maggie, Glenn, Sasha, Bob, and Axel. We found each other.

"Come on," Carol spoke after quick hugs, her eyes focused on Rick. "There's something you need to see."

* * *

The reunion was heart-lifting. When Rick and Carl realized Judith was safe with Tyreese, they ran towards them, tears streaming down both of their faces. Sasha lounged herself at Tyreese as soon as she saw him.

But the reunion which made me turn around and discreetly wipe my eyes was when Oscar came out with Lucy. He and Axel shared a hug while Lucy ran towards us. Daryl smiled wildly and got to his knees, spreading his arms. The girl jumped straight into them, and she stayed there until we reached the hidden RV.

We all agreed that we can't stay too close to Terminus. Of course, traveling in Winnebago with eighteen people and two small kids was not ideal, but we traveled few miles north before making overnight camp. With RV on one side, Oscar used string we used by the stream to secure the rest of the area.

Our big stock of food suddenly seemed really small, considering how many people there we had right now. But for tonight, we decided to rest and talk about plans tomorrow.

We all sat in a circle, Judith sitting with Carl, and Lucy perched herself on Merle's lap. Who would've thought Dixons were good with kids.

"When we found her car seat, it was covered in blood," Rick started his story. Everyone wanted to know what happened in the time we were separated. "We just assumed the worse. I was in horrible shape, but Carl took care of me."

"Not really," The boy murmured and glanced around, his shoulders slouching. "I was so angry. I actually yelled at you a lot when you were unconscious."

"Well, I don't remember, so we're good." Some chuckles rolled around the camp at that, and I offered the rest of my meal to Lucy. She grinned and started picking at meat and canned carrots, shoving them in her mouth.

"I was couple of days behind them, got lost in my mind," Michonne shared her point of view.

"You were by yourself?" I asked quietly, knowing that it was the worst that could happen to her.

"Yeah. But it was different. I found tracks, those stupid cowboy shoes, I'd recognize everywhere."

"Hey, don't disrespect the shoes," Rick told her with a smirk, which she returned.

"I went back to find Beth," Maggie added. "We were ready to leave on a bus, but she wasn't there. That's when Bob got shot. So we needed to go, but the bus was gone. For days we followed it, and when we found it, it was-- massacre. Everybody on board turned."

Sasha nodded and sighed heavily. "Someone had to be bitten or died suddenly, without others realizing. That's when we spotted signs for Terminus. I didn't want to go. I-- I gave up," The Black woman admitted, looking down to the ground.

"I think we all did, even if just for a moment," I commented, and Merle snorted next to me, making me shove my elbow in his side.

"That's when we met Abraham, Rosita, and Eugene," Maggie continued and nodded towards new people.

"We actually met them first," Glenn interrupted, hugging his wife tightly. "When I get off the bus, Axel followed me, said you'll kick his ass for losing me, Eli."

I snickered and nodded, confirming his suspicions.

"Anyway, we found Tara around the prison, and together we moved on. Guys gave us a little lift until we split up, next to the tunnel. We went inside while they drove off."

"Man, we saw that fuckin' tunnel. Ya got balls of steel," Merle commented, grinning at the Korean man, who chuckled to himself.

"Just highly motivated. We nearly died when those guys showed up with Maggie and others, shooting at walkers."

"I came back when it was already over," Carol admitted when Glenn finished his part. "Saw Tyreese and the girls going into the forest, so I followed. It took me few days to catch up, and then we found the cabin, thought of staying there. But thigs happened, and--"

"We lost them," Tyreese intercepted the story, his voice deep and low, sad. "And we decided it was time to get to Terminus, see if others are there. We spotted the guy by that small cabin, and that's where we heard you're being held captive."

"And that's when we come into the picture," I smiled at the man, who nodded and let me lead the story. "We managed to get into the car, leaving the prison. The closest safe place I could think of was hunting cabin. We thought all of you will get there eventually."

"I don't think any of us thought that clearly when everything happened," Michonne commented, and others grunted in confirmation.

"Well, I get it now. Anyway, we waited for a couple of days, figures Merle got himself shot, back at the prison."

"Now, now, Doll. Ya now it happened when I was savin' yur ass."

"I don't feel comfortable discussing my ass with you, Hook." I deadpanned, and Daryl chuckled beside me. "I found this campsite by the stream. I think-- no, I'm sure that's where Governor waited."

There was grave silence after my words, and slowly I took the small black book out of my bag. Scrambling back to my feet, I stepped to the right, standing in front of Maggie, holding it out to her. She furrowed her brows and covered her mouth when she finally opened it, recognizing the item.

"Thank you," Maggie whispered, biting her bottom lip. I nodded sharply, feeling once again tightness around my heart.

"We actually followed your trail, Mags. Found it in one of the towns. Otherwise, we wouldn't think of going to Terminus."

"What 'bout ya, 'Lil brother?" Merle directed his question at Daryl, who slowly shook his head and pressed his lips into a thin line before answering.

"I was with Beth for a while. She got taken, some assholes in a black car with a white cross. Tried to follow 'em, but I was on foot," Daryl answered. I squeezed his arm, trying to offer some kind of comfort while sitting back down between Dixons. "That's when those guys found me. Called themselves Claimers. Bunch of scumbags, but I was alone, and they had a code. A shitty one, but still... Said they following someone who killed one of 'em. Didn't realize they talked about Rick until they attacked him, Michonne, and Carl."

"That's why you look like that, Big Boy?" I asked him softly, and he grunted in reply.

"I actually didn't kill that guy," Rick spoke up, making me look over at him. "They raided the house we were staying in. Michonne and Carl were scavenging, and I was still in ruff shape, so I hid under the bed. Two of them started fighting in the bedroom over a bed, and well, shit happened."

"What's important is that we found each other," Oscar commented loudly, and I couldn't agree more.

"So what's next?" Red asked, and I tilted my head.

"Regroup in the morning. Collect supplies we got here and find a temporary place for a base. Elena, got any plans?" Rick answered and directed the last question towards me.

"We are a few miles west from the small town. We should check for supplies and cars. We can't all travel in RV, and honestly, after the last one, I think we need something more durable."

"And what's after that?" Abraham asked again, and I furrowed my brows.

"What's with twenty questions, Red? The ideal plan would consist of finding a new place we could call home, but we need supplies and vehicles for that. So we going to take one step at the time, no point of getting ahead when we don't have resources."

The man considered my words for a few moments before he grinned at me, nodding. "Were you army or something?"

"No," I cut him off sharply and looked away, focusing on warmth radiating from Daryl.

I'm not sure how much sleep any of us got that night. I know at some point Daryl left me with Merle and Lucy to take a watch with Carol, but I was too tired to give a rat's ass about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * This is old snipers creed, not really used anymore, and even though Elena wasn't in the army, we all know she did have training on The Farm, and that consist of many different courses (I assume), and in my mind, one of them would be long-range shooting. I might add a little back story about what she did there ;)


	64. Chapter 64

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I am so sorry, guys, for the absence. To be fair, my mind was not on this story for about a month. I didn't forget about Elena and Daryl, and it's still a story close to my heart, the very first one I was brave enough to let others read. But recently, my mind was swarmed with other ideas, other stories, and I had to get them out of my mind before getting back to my favorite one.
> 
> Then the spoilers hit. Yes, those spoilers about Daryl, and I, to be honest, after reading lots of comments, moaning and bitching, I stopped. I am NOT a fan of Caryl, never was, never will be. Sorry, not sorry. They have an amazing friendship, but at the same time, I think Carol is not good for Daryl. She's more than often selfish in her choices etc. So to me, news that there's a potential for someone else to steal Daryl's heart was actually something good. He deserves it. What I am not Ok with is how the whole fandom erupted and started roasting AMC, Angela, Lynn, and Norman. For fuck sake, they just doing their job and what they are told.
> 
> And then the other scandal, and it blows my mind how people reacted, not towards Manson, but those around him. Guys, what we see on the outside is rarely what happens inside. Norman and Manson might be friends, but it does NOT mean that Reedus knows everything or have any kind of insides on what happens in Manson's fucking bedroom. And going after those close to Manson won't change anything that happened. I personally don't think that Norman knew anything; he's not that kind of guy.
> 
> Here, my piece of mind. I'll respect if you completely disagree with me, we all have the right to our own opinions, but I'd like this post to not turn into a battle conflict over it. Thank you, and enjoy this chapter.
> 
> Cheers :)

**Day 494**

I woke up early, Daryl being the reason. He shook me gently awake, and when I groaned and stretched my arms, finally opening my eyes, his beautiful face was hovering over me. I smiled at the view and pulled his face down, kissing him softly. Of course, we couldn't enjoy it, Daryl being himself still didn't feel comfortable with PDA and pulled away after a few seconds, smirking at me.

"Get up, Princess, we gotta hunt," The hunter whispered, and I huffed.

"My bow's back in prison," I told him grumpily and slowly sat up, glancing around. Lucy slept in Oscar's arms used to him, and Merle layed sprawled on the grass a few yards away, snoring softly.

"I got gift for ya, but ya gotta move." Daryl gave me one last peck, standing up. I groaned and got to my feet. The advantage of sleeping while ready to fight was being already dressed, reigns still under my boobs. Disadvantage? Being sweaty, gross, and utterly uncomfortable from having straps on while sleeping.

I attached the machete to my belt and checked that Glock is in the holster before going after Daryl. He stopped for a moment, next to Rick and Axel, who were currently on watch, exchanging a few quiet words. When he heard me coming over, I noticed a big compound bow in his spare hand.

"Here ya go," He held it out to me, and I took it, weighting it and bringing it up, trying to pull the string. Mechanism clicked, and the further I drew, the easier it got. I huffed under my nose and furrowed my brows at the wheels on each end of the bow.

"Zero skill necessary," I commented dryly, making Rick chuckle. Sheriff patted Daryl's shoulder and winked at him.

"Welcome to married life."

"Hey! I'm delightful Grimes, and don't you go and tell my husband otherwise!" I grinned and glanced down to look at my left hand. _Husband_. I could actually call Daryl that. His face flushed red, and he scoffed, passing me a small backpack with few handmade arrows inside.

"I made that last night. Now move, we ain't got all day." After that, Daryl started to walk away, and I rolled my eyes before strolling behind him.

"Wait, I need to speak with Rick about roll out," I told Daryl loudly before he would walk away too far.

"No need, I already did. They'll eat, pack and move towards the town you pointed out," Daryl said confidently, puffing his chest out a little bit. I smirked and stopped him by wrapping my hand around his muscular arm.

"Mm, thank you, Mr. Dixon," Climbing on my toes, I pressed my lips softly to his. It felt normal and like nothing have changed, even though we were separated for a week. But being here in the woods, on the road with others once again, that was familiar. We did it before, and we would now too. Daryl wrapped one arm around me, and our mouth moved slowly together for a few more seconds before he pulled away.

"Move it, Mrs. Dixon, we need to catch some food," The hunter's voice was raspy, his pupils dilated, but he managed to compose himself quickly, pulling me with him further into the woods. My heart fluttered at his words. I was his, truly and completely. If you'd tell me two years ago that some man will ever have that kind of effect on me, I'd laugh it off. But here we were in fucking apocalypse with walking corpses, and I found something I was missing my whole life.

I trailed behind Daryl for a few moments, but that didn't last long. When we ventured further into the forest, Daryl motioned for me to take the lead, making me scowl. I had one arrow already notched, gripping it loosely when a thought occurred to me. I stopped and swiftly spun around, glaring at Daryl. His eyes snapped up to mine, and he cocked his eyebrows questioningly.

"Why am I always going first?" I asked him suspiciously, narrowing my eyes when a blush spread over his neck and cheeks.

"I told ya, woman. To keep ya safe," He stated calmly, but he wouldn't meet my eyes.

" _Right_ , because I can't hold my own. And you're a better tracker, so you really should go first." Slowly, I took few steps towards him, stopping right in front of him. "So tell me, Big Boy. Is it to watch my ass?"

Daryl took a step back and brought his hand to his neck, looking at the ground. "I ain't-- Is not what ya think."

"Uh-huh," I answered, resuming our walk. "But it makes me happy you watched my butt for so long before we got together."

"El!"

"What, just saying."

"Not that, look." I turned around and followed him. Daryl was crouching, checking some tracks on the grass, all thoughts about my behind forgotten.

"What's that?"

"Nothin', just fuckin' walker." I tilted my head and scrunched my face.

"Are we looking for something else?" I asked him slowly, and he nodded, standing up.

"Last night, Carol and I heard somethin' in the trees. Thought we might see in daylight."

"Hm. It couldn't just be a walker. It would come at us," I stated, and Daryl grunted, not resuming the topic anymore.

* * *

We trailed our group back. After Daryl was happy with our game and I had a few chances to shoot my new bow, it was already late morning. I hoped that Rick listened to what I said and packed all essential things from the RV and that Merle took my bags.

We stayed deep in the woods for good two hours before circling back in the direction where others should be by now. Each of us carried a string of squirrels, though mine was shorter than Daryl's, but I made up by catching a small rabbit right before he decided to turn back. There were no signs of anyone else except some zigzaggy trails that indicated walkers. But the thought that someone was there, watching us, made me on edge all the time, my eyes dancing between the trees.

And we talked, quiet whispers when Daryl stopped walking behind instead moved to my side. We talked about how he thought he lost everyone, and Beth, sweet girl, pulled him out of this dark place. We discussed what happened before prison fell, and Daryl admitted he was angry with me about Carol. Still, he also understood where the decision came from. We were fine, but I was afraid that there were no three musketeers anymore. I stopped trusting Carol, and I doubt she'll quickly forget that I had a word in banishing her.

Finally, we heard voices near us, and after few more minutes of sneaking between the bushes, to confirm it was our group, we slowly came out from behind the trees. Daryl first, with me quick on his heel, when he suddenly stopped, making me bump into his back.

"We surrender?" Daryl's voice was laced with humor, and I glanced around him to see multiple guns pointed in our direction. I snorted, walking towards Merle when the group finally lowered their weapons.

"If you don't want our meat, we won't share," I commented, glancing around and spotting Lucy in Maggie's arms. I breathed with relief and focused on older Dixon for a moment while we resumed our walk as if nothing happened.

Merle passed me my backpack, and I gave him my new bow to hold for a moment while I rearranged my bags. Pack with my stuff went first, and over it, I pulled a small one that Daryl gave me this morning with eight arrows. I would have to make more, but that'll have to wait.

"Spare ammo is in there," Merle started motioning towards my back. "Food is split, and Oscar got yur sniper."

I nodded and smiled at him. "Thanks, Hook. You did well."

"Pff, had any doubts, 'lil sister?" Oh, being related to fucking Merle is going to be fun.

"Not at all, just letting you know I appreciate what you doing," I replied calmly, patting his shoulder. Merle's face twisted into a smug smirk, and his eyes darted to Daryl, who led the way, while Rick urged us forward.

"So, when I get nices and nephews?" The man winked at me, but my throat contracted, and for a moment, I had trouble breathing. My hand automatically went to my stomach, covered by top and jacket. Still, I almost could feel scars under my fingerprints.

"You got Lucy," I answered quietly, not looking at him anymore and speeding up slightly.

"Hey, hey, Doll!" Merle followed me, catching up without an issue and wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "I ain't as stupid as I look, ya know? Every time I mention kids, ya go all stiff and quiet. Ya gonna tell finally what's that 'bout?"

Fuck all Dixons in the world, who were supposed to be hillbillies, and who turned out to be smarter than people gave them credit. And more carrying, after you peeled off all the layers they build around them.

"I fucking cried enough on your shoulder recently," I answered after a moment, blinking rapidly to shove stupid tears back.

"Sugar, ya can cry on me all ya want."

"Hm, I didn't peg you for that kind of guy. Actually, I'm surprised you didn't run back in the cabin when I was wallowing in self-pity," I commented dryly, my eyes ahead.

"Ya deflecting, Elena."

I think it was the use of my name, something Merle rarely did, that finally made me give in. I sighed heavily before glancing at him. "Those scars on my stomach... You saw them. They're five years old. If they look so bad outside, you can imagine what happened inside."

Merle was quiet for a moment, furrowing his brows, deep in thought.

"I told Daryl, but it's a blur. I was so upset when we talked about it. Doctors managed to repair the damage best they could, but I have only one ovary left. And it's scarred along with the uterus. Chances of getting pregnant are almost non-existing, and even if I did, there's a high chance I wouldn't carry it to term or die in the process."

"How?" Dixon's voice was quiet and husky, I noticed that his only fist that was close to my face clenched tightly, and I was impressed by his self-control.

"Does it matter?" I asked softly, placing my hand over his. "It was so long ago, in a previous life. It cost me a lot, and it was only my fault. I put it behind me as best I could. Let's not talk about it anymore."

"Are they dead?"

"Who?" I scrunched my face in consternation, looking up at him. Merle was tense, and gone was his playful smirk, replaced with anger.

"Whoever fuckin' did that to ya."

Images of red liquid dripping all over me flashed in my mind. Foreign blood mixing with my own. Gasps and gurgling while the man above me was choking on his own blood. And pain, there was so much pain everywhere.

I shook my head and cleared my throat. "Yeah, he's fucking dead."

"Good."

I nodded and pulled away from Merle, smiling sadly at him, before walking away towards Maggie and Glenn. I was already in a shitty and nostalgic mood, may as well apologize now.

I reached the couple and stretched out for Lucy, who extended her arms the second she saw me approach.

"Mama, missed you," The girl told me, and I holstered her up on my hip and kissing her forehead softly.

"I'm back now, and I missed you too. Were you a good girl for everybody?" I asked her softly, and she nodded quickly, looking over at Maggie for confirmation.

"She's great," A brown-haired woman replied, smiling widely at the little girl in my arms. "She listens, and she's quiet when needs to be."

"I think it's because she was on the road a lot, Ellen and David must've kept telling her to be quiet," I told them, and then took a deep breath, looking at Maggie. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" The woman knitted her brows, not understanding what I was apologizing for.

"Your-- your daddy," I answered quietly, averting my eyes to the grass we walked on, not brave enough to see the look on her face. "I wasn't quick enough. Hesitated."

"Eli," Maggie whispered, and once again, I was wrapped in someone's arms, this time slim and less hairy. "I don't blame you. Why would I?"

"I had a clear shot," I told her louder, not understanding how she could be so calm about it. "I didn't want to start something without need, and I-- I hesitated Mags. I'm so fucking sorry, I understand if you'll never forgive me," I was babbling, my voice cracking at the end of my speech, and I still couldn't look her in the eyes.

"Eli, there's nothing you could do," Maggie replied calmly, squeezing my arm. My eyes shot up to see a soft smile on her lips, even though they were quivering a little. "Governor attacked us. He killed daddy, not you. Even if you'd shoot him before he-- I don't think it'd change a lot. They would roll in any way, and daddy would be there in the field tied down with only one good leg. It's not your fault, and I'm not blaming you at all."

I bit down hard on my bottom lip, stopping myself from crying, and nodded softly, lost at what's happening around us. Maggie and I fell into a comfortable silence, now that everything was cleared between us, even though she never saw the issue.

"Elena!" I heard someone call me from behind, and I smiled at Maggie one last time before I stopped and waited for whoever needed me. After a few seconds, Tyreese showed at my side, and I wasn't sure how to feel about it. We started walking again. Lucy snuggled in my arms, and I had to admit that I was becoming tired. She wasn't a baby anymore, but it was too dangerous to just let her run by herself.

"Thank you," The Black man next to me finally spoke up, and I cocked my brow in question. "For finding out who did it. Rick told me it was you who knew almost instantly."

I was shocked that he knew, but even more that he was so calm about it. It was not the same man who threatened us in the small courtyard, who hit Rick multiple times without abandon.

"I promised you," I choose to answer that way and glanced ahead where Carol was walking alone.

"She told me," Tyreese admitted quietly, and my eyes nearly bulged out. Fucking hell, a week on the road, and everyone seems to be a different person. Just a week and so much changed.

"Well, I'm glad she's still alive, but I'm also surprised," I told him, and there was again that pained look on his face when his eyes darted to the ground.

"I was so angry. Furious. And I may never forget it, Carol wanted to protect the rest of us. And Karen wouldn't want me to just kill her out of revenge."

"You're a smart man, Tyreese," I spoke gently, moving Lucy to my other arm, trying to rest left side. He smiled sadly at me, but then it grew when he glanced down at the girl in my arms.

"I can take her if you want," Tyreese offered, and I considered it for a few seconds before nodding. Lucy was napping, and my arms really did need a break. Gently I moved the girl into the man's arms and watched him for a second. He was good with kids, but it seemed like more than that. Whatever happened to change him, he lost all the will to fight. Or maybe I was wrong, and he just wanted a nice cuddle with a kid.

"Help!" There was a sudden shout, and I moved forward while the others stopped in their tracks. Rick stood at the front of our group, his hand up, indicating to halt.

"Help, anybody! Help!" The voice came from ahead of us, and Rick glanced over his shoulder, motioning for me to get to his side.

"Dad, come on!" Carl, who was next to the sheriff, urged, ready to help an unknown stranger. Rick tilted his head, unsure, and I nudged his arm. "Come on!"

Carl was already on the move, and with a short curse on my tongue, I started to move as well.

"Elena, go left, Merle right!" Rick finally shouted an order, and I changed my course, circling so I would flank whoever was yelling in the middle of the woods.

With my legs pumping, I knew I would reach a stranger soon, and I reached behind me, pulling an arrow out, trying to put it in place while on the move. Stupid fucking automatic bows. Growling in frustration, I chucked stick to the ground and shoved the bow over my arm while pulling out my knives.

Big rock came in my line of sight. On it, a Black man all dressed in black was scrambling, trying to get away from walkers who clawed at his feet. Slowing down to a jog, I aimed and threw the first blade watching geek collapse while a shot echoed in the woods. I pushed the other walker to the ground, planting my knife in its brain. Moments later, Merle stood next to me, and Rick and Carl were finishing off the last geek.

With one boot on the walker's chest, I moved and pulled the knife out of its head, wiping it on old clothing. I put it away and reached for Glock, aiming at the stranger just like Rick, Merle and Daryl did.

"We're clear. Keep watch," Rick ordered, and I heard some shuffling and movements behind me, indicating that others did as he said. Then sheriff looked up at the man. "Come on down."

Up close, I could see stranger better, black slacks, shirt, and suit jacket. Shoes definitely not made for running in the woods or away from walkers. And a small white square on his collar. Great. I wasn't the religious type, even before the world went to shit, but I always tried to respect others' beliefs. That didn't change the fact the last thing we need right now was a priest who probably believed that the current world was an act of God.

The man climbed down, breathing heavily, sweat dripping down the side of his face.

"You okay?" Rick asked him, and the man answered, vomiting just inches away from my boots. I moved backward, facing out, pressing my lips into a thin line. Even better. A priest who pukes at the sight of violence.

"Sorry," The man whispered, wiping his mouth and looking genuinely ashamed. I exchanged an amused glance with Daryl and looked back at the stranger.

"Yes. Thank you," Priest added and stood up straighter, composing himself. "I'm Gabriel."

"Do you have any weapons on you?" Rick didn't let the man talk, getting down to business, his sheriff look in place. In response, Gabriel chuckled softly, and his eyes darted around as if he found the question funny and expect us to laugh with him.

"Do I look like I would have any weapons?" Priest spread his arms a little, but his lighthearted answer was not making us any more trusting.

"We don't give two short and curlies what it looks like," Red was the one to reply, and once more, I was amazed at his vocabulary. Just when I got used to Dixons, someone else comes on board.

"I have no weapons of any kind," Gabriel declared, but Rick didn't trust him. "The word of God is the only protection I need."

I snorted quietly, and Daryl fuffed, his gruff voice reaching the priest. "Sure it didn't look like it."

"I called for help. Help came." Was the answer, and I rolled my eyes. I just knew that's going to be his answer. "Do you have any food? Whatever I had left, it just hit the ground."

Carl was quick to help, bless this child. I knew the boy believed there's still good in people, but trusting strangers was no longer an easy thing. Carl offered the man some pecans that Carol and Tyreese had with them, and the priest thanked him politely.

That's when Judith cooed sweetly in Oscar's arms, and Gabriel shifted his eyes toward her, then to Lucy, who was further back, still held by Tyreese. "That's beautiful children."

No one answered him, but the tension was thick; my fists balled tightly when he mentioned the girls, our most vulnerable members.

"Do you have a camp?" Gabriel asked, his voice shaky, and he still looked frightened, but I wasn't sure if it was because of his encounter with walkers or because of our stiffness towards him.

"No. Do you?" Rick replied curtly, and I watched the priest swallow harshly and nod.

"I have a church."

"Hold your hands above your head," Rick finally ordered, shaking his head in disbelief.

Rick started patting Gabriel, searching for hidden blades, anything really. I cleared my throat and stared right at the priest, looking at any tells.

"How many walkers have you killed?" I asked him, and his eyes went round before he was spun around by the sheriff.

"Can't you tell? None."

"And how many people have you killed?" I moved to the right to see his reaction properly.

"What?" His face twisted in horror, and he shook his head. "Zero. I never killed anyone or anything."

"Why?" The last question and Rick twisted the priest around to face us again, after not finding any weapons.

Gabriel was looking me in the eyes, and even though he was still short of breath, there was particular strength and confidence in his answer. "Because the Lord abhors violence."

Right. I observed him for a few more seconds before I turned to Rick and nodded once, telling him that priest was telling the truth.

"What have you done?" Rick asked him in a low voice, getting closer to Gabriel. "We all done something."

"I'm a sinner," The priest finally admitted, but his face was still showing nothing but confidence in his words. "I sin almost every day. But those sins, I confess them to God, not strangers."

"You said you had a church?" Michonne was the one to interrupt the staring contest between two men, and I was grateful. It would be good to stay somewhere with walls, even if just for one night.

"Where is it?" I asked him and pulled my backpack off, searching for a map. After retrieving the paper, I quickly pinpointed where we were, and Gabriel pressed his finger to the spot. It was on the outskirt of the small town we were going to. I nodded and stared at the map for a few moments before I was happy with it.

"I'm going to bring RV around. We may need it if we can't get enough cars," I told Rick quietly, and he nodded.

"Ya ain't going by yurself," Daryl grunted, coming over when he realized what we were talking about. I thought about it and agreed.

"I know, but you should stay with Rick and others. Who knows what's in the church, and they can't lose another tracker. I can take Oscar with me." I knew he will want to argue with me, and hell, I wanted to kick myself for saying it.

"Nah. I ain't give a shit, but ya ain't leaving my sight again, woman," Daryl answered quickly, and his tone indicated that he really didn't give me any choice. The hunter passed our game to Merle and then exchanged few words with his brother before grabbing my hand and pulling me with him in the opposite direction.

"Be careful," Rick shouted after us, and I waved him off.

"Always, dad!"

* * *

We made a reasonable time. After all, Daryl was an excellent tracker, and once I had a path in my mind it would stay there. A few times, I thought there was something between the trees, but the further back we went more peaceful it was. Since I called Daryl's bullshit earlier in the day, he didn't insist on me leading the way, but I did it anyway. Call me vain or whatever, but if a gorgeous man, my man, wants to enjoy the view, I will let him.

It took us about an hour to reach the RV, making me realize how slowly we moved out of the camp this morning. Chilly air transformed as we walked, the sun scorching on our faces, though it wasn't that bad, too deep into autumn now.

I opened the driver's doors once we reached the RV and was ready to start the vehicle when Daryl called me over from the back. I furrowed my brows, as there wasn't anything out of order when we checked it, but followed his voice nonetheless.

"What's up, Big Boy?" I asked him, stepping into the living area. There he stood, with a straight back, looking up and down my frame as I came closer. Winnebago wasn't the biggest one, and now with his broad shoulders, standing between table and couch, it seemed even smaller.

Daryl's eyes slowly roamed my body, and I saw a familiar spark in his deep blue eyes, a look that was making me all hot and bothered. I smirked and swayed my hips a little while I approached him.

"We ain't had our weddin' night, Mrs. Dixon," Daryl's voice was husky and ruff with emotions, heat pooling between my legs increasing with his every word.

"Hm, but it's a day, now, Mr. Dixon," I purred, standing right in front of him. I remembered when talking like that would make him blush and run into the woods, far away. But not now, now he stood his ground looking at me with hunger in his eyes, and I knew Rick and others will have to wait for our return.

"I don't care," Daryl groaned and grabbed the back of my neck firmly, pulling me closer to him, our bodies flush against each other. And then his slightly chapped lips were on mine, kissing me with force and demand. So different from the shy guy who wasn't sure of himself. I created a sex monster, and I was not going to complain one bit.

I sucked on his bottom lip, and when the hunter moaned in my mouth, I didn't waste any time in slipping my tongue inside. Daryl tilted his head to deepen our kiss, passionate and forceful. At the same time, his other hand grabbed my ass, kneading soft tissue with his big hand. I held on to his broad shoulders and then hair, pulling on it just a little bit. I was rewarded with another groan, and Daryl spun us around, grabbing my ass with both hands, lifting me up.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, not stopping our kiss, while Daryl moved us to the bed at the back of the RV. When his knees hit the bed, he dropped me, and I bounced on the mattress with a giggle. A shiver of thrill went down my spine, and I crooked my finger, inviting Daryl to bed. After all, we did have some catching up to do.


	65. Chapter 65

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: OK, so this one led me somewhere I didn't expect. But it's to show that even the strongest of us have a breaking point and that even the most confident ones have insecurities buried deep inside. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Cheers :)

Daryl and I arrived at the small church mid-afternoon after a long-overdue love-making session. I still could feel his hands and kisses while we confessed our feelings to each other. A huge grin wouldn't leave my face, and I knew that at least one person will notice, but I didn't give a shit about it.

Daryl parked the RV around the back, where I spotted a big bus with Red under it. Arm in arm, we entered the building, noticing few faces were missing. Carol sat down on one of the benches and was sharpening her knife. Maggie and Glenn were chatting with the new girl, Tara, and Hairdoo and Rosita sat quietly in the corner. Judith and Lucy sat on one of the blankets, close to the altar with Axel and Oscar, playing with some pans.

Merle approached us and silently motioned towards the door, not waiting for us to follow him when he left the church. I arched my brows at Daryl, but he only shrugged, going after his brother.

"What's wrong?" The hunter asked, and Merle rubbed his hand over his face before turning to us. We stood on the grass, few yards from the entrance, and I didn't like how older Dixon looked.

"It's Queen. I think she ain't alright," He finally admitted, and I scrunched my nose, unsure how to take it.

"Aren't we all?" I asked them. "We just lost our home. We're back on the road. Just barely avoided fucking cannibals."

"It ain't that, Doll. I think-- is the prison. Sits tough on her conscience."

"I'll talk to her," Daryl stated firmly, and I nodded. I knew that Carol and I weren't on the best of terms just yet, and I still wasn't sure how I felt about what she did. I closed my eyes for a moment, feeling like a hypocrite. Just a day ago, I killed someone because he was a threat to our family. But this was different. I didn't know the guy; he wasn't one of us.

"Maybe not now, Big Boy. She won't talk around other people. Catch her alone, and then try," I finally spoke, squeezing Daryl's arm a little. Merle also nodded, and we were ready to go back when voices down the road caught our attention. Immediately I pulled out my gun and turned towards them, only to see Katana and the others pushing shopping carts full of supplies.

I smiled widely at that and moved with Dixons to help with that.

"Dad, Eli!" Carl called over, just as Grimes stopped his cart in front of the church. I glanced around my shoulder, and the boy was waving his hand, calling us to come over.

"Go, we got it," Daryl stated to both of us, and I walked over to Carl, wondering what he needed.

"What is it?" Rick asked when we stopped on the side of the building. I looked over at the boy, who wasn't a kid anymore. Hell, Carl was as tall as I was, and he was still growing. Not that being taller than me was a big achievement.

"Those scratches," Carl pointed out to the wood and stepped back so Rick and I could have a closer look. "They deep. Like knives or something. Someone was trying to get in."

I touched one of them gently and furrowed my brows. "That could happen before the turn. Maybe someone tried to break in or something."

"That's what I thought, and then I found this." Carl led us around the corner and sighed heavily, with one hand on his hip. He looked so much like his father right now. "I don't know what happened, but whatever it is, we can handle it."

He nodded towards the back wall, and I turned my eyes to it, reading carved words out loud. "You'll burn for this."

"Doesn't mean that Gabriel's bad guy, for sure, but it means something."

"Yeah, it does," I said slowly. I looked over at Rick and noticed how tense he became after reading the sentence. "What you want to do, Officer?"

"We wait, see if something happens. You said he wasn't lying before," Rick finally spoke, after stroking words few times.

"He wasn't, but it doesn't mean he's not hiding anything," I told him what I thought, and he nodded.

"I want you to observe him when you can, see if anything pops up."

"You got it, Officer," I saluted and smirked at him, walking back to the church. It felt like old times, before the prison, and I was relieved that he took charge and scared at the same time. Scared that something will push him over the edge again, and he will lose it. But that's when I would be ready, and this time if the idea is shit or not good enough, I will tell him.

* * *

A few hours later, when our supplies were split and sorted, we had a celebration. Of having a roof over our heads for the time being and to survive Terminus. Celebration of finding each other against all odds. Gabriel was nice enough to provide us with his ceremonial wine, or maybe he was scared. After all, a group of armed people invaded his home, and he had no way to defend himself.

I passed two glasses to Daryl and Merle and went back for the rest. I grabbed food, some canned goods, and meat from the squirrels we caught earlier. I handed out plates to Dixons and sat between them, watching with warm heart Daryl who had Lucy on his lap, feeding her between his own bites. Axel and Oscar weren't that far behind us, sitting on a bench, and we exchanged jokes every so often.

It was a peaceful, sort of family reunion until Red's voice echoed inside the church.

"I'd like to propose a toast," After his words, others who were still standing moved to find a place to sit down, and we got quiet.

"I look around this room... and I see survivors." That we were, but I wasn't sure where he was going with it. I heard from others that he was trying to take Eugune to DC, that they were on an important mission. Is this was about that?

"Each and every one of you has earned that title. To the survivors!" Abraham rose his glass, and we followed with our own shouts and chuckles. I sipped on wine and glanced over at Daryl. Lucy was playing with his beard while he still tried to eat, and it was the sweetest and funniest view I saw in a long time.

"Is that all you wanna be?" Red continued, and I moved my eyes back to him, my gaze calculating. "Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open, rinse and repeat?"

And here we are, the punch line. I narrowed my eyes because I knew that this speech just shifted into recruitment.

"'Cause, you can do that. I mean, you got the strength. You got the skill. Thing is for you people, for what you can do, that's just surrender. Now, we get Eugene to Washington, and he will make the dead die, and the living will have this world again. And that is not a bad takeaway for a little road trip."

I tried very hard to stop myself from snorting. I pressed the glass to my lips and took a big gulp. There was no way Hairdoo could do it, and even if he knew something, there was no reversing it. We were all fucking infected. Whatever caused the turn in the first place obviously modified our DNA in some way. And if other scientists didn't find a solution before everything collapsed, how could this one guy do it?

"Eugene, what's in DC?"

Hairdoo glanced around himself for a moment before replying in his usual monotone voice. "Infrastructure constructed to withstand pandemics even of this fubar magnitude," The man started, and I shook my head, sloughing in my seat. I could see that people around me looked at him with hopeful faces, wanted to believe in something, and I felt just like at the beginning; when we 'waited' at the quarry for someone to save us.

"That means food, fuel, refuge. Restart."

I already opened my mouth to finally interrupt when Daryl squeezed my hand gently. I gazed at him, and he shook his head slightly, telling me to shut up. Even if it was a pipe dream, we needed it right now. But fucking going to Washington seemed like a terrible plan. With such a big population, there had to be still plenty of walkers in the area, and I seriously doubted that whatever infrastructure Hairdoo was talking about existed.

Abraham smiled softly and nodded at Eugene's words. "However this plays out, however long it takes for the reset button to kick in, you can be safe there."

Nowhere's safe.

"Safer than you've been since this whole thing started."

Especially not the capital that was overrun in the very early days.

"Come with us. Save the world for those little ones. Save it for yourselves. Save it for the people out there, who got nothing left to do except survive."

I chanced a gaze around, noticing how others were looking at each other with a bit of hope, love and I sighed. We did need a destination; I was just really scared of where it would lead us.

Rick chuckled, and I saw a real smile on his lips, something we all missed for a long time. The sheriff moved his eyes to Judith, who was perched on his lap, playing and babbling.

"What was that?" The girl cooed again, shoving a fist into her mouth. "I think she knows what I'm about to say. She's in. If she's in, I'm in. We're in."

There were cheers and laughs; someone clapped, and Rick stood up, walking across the room to get more food.

"Hey, I'm gonna check on Carol," Daryl whispered in my ear, his breath brushing against my neck, sending shivers down my spine. He placed a quick kiss on my cheek and stood up, placing Lucy on the ground next to me before walking away.

I also stood up and slowly made my way towards Rick, hoping he wouldn't shut me down, while I tried to say my peace. I felt a small hand in mine and glanced down, seeing Lucy walk with me. I bent down and picked her up in my arms, smiling at her.

"Did you hear? We're going for an adventure," I told her, and she stared at me with those gorgeous big eyes.

"What's aventure?" I laughed at her question and answered once I reached Rick.

"It's when all of us going to ride in the cars, telling stories and stay safe together. Rick..."

The sheriff didn't get a chance to reply when Sasha came to us, with a massive grin on her lips.

"I came to kidnap your kids," She stated and took Judith from Rick's arms cuddling little girl and nuzzling her face in smooth blonde hair. I giggled and tickled Lucy gently, making her laugh.

"What you think, sweety? Do you want to play with Judith and Aunty Sasha?" I asked her, and she nodded, wiggling in my grip, trying to get down. I chuckled and watched her walk away to another part of the church, holding onto Sasha's hand.

"I know what you gonna say," Rick said quietly, plating himself some more food, not looking at me.

"Well, can I say it just so my conscience is clear?" I cocked my eyebrows and crossed my arms over my chest, waiting for his reply.

"Sure. Have at it."

"You know it's a pipe dream, right?" I started straight away, not mowing my words. "You saw what happened in CDC in Atlanta. Why should we believe the one in DC still stands? And I told you that I know capital and Pentagon fell, almost at the beginning. East End was overrun. I mean, if walkers invaded FBI quarters, who knows what happened to other federal buildings? Going there is dangerous."

"What if it's not a pipe dream, Elena?" Rick asked me after a few moments, his eyes sparkling with something unfamiliar. "What if he does have a cure?"

"Rick, I love you, but don't you fucking remember CDC? Jenner said that no one even knew what it was, how it spread in the first place," I answered softly, stepping closer, not wanting others to overhear us. "If he really had a cure, why he didn't share it with others? It didn't suddenly start with Atlanta's bombing, Rick. I'm sure governments across the globe knew days, weeks before the worst wave came. In that case, all scientists would work together, gathering information and sharing it, classified or not. And-- "

I paused and glanced around, my eyes landing on Hairdoo for a moment, noticing how he sat just staring in front of himself.

"And what?" Rick insisted, pulling my attention back to him.

I took a deep breath and cleared my throat. "I'm not a geneticist, but you know that I have a high IQ and read probably a million books in my life. I'm not bragging, just stating the fact. What he says, what Euguene talks about? The killing of the walkers? Whatever it is that makes them undead, we carry that as well. I don't know if it's mutated DNA, something in the bloodstream, or something. But answer me. How do you shut off the walker's brains on a mass scale without hurting the living?"

"Why don't you ask him?" Rick finally asked. "I know all of this. Maybe not in as complex manner as you do, but I'm not stupid, Elena. But we have nowhere to go, and our people need hope and some direction. Maybe we will find something on the way, a place to call home again."

With those last words, Rick squeezed my shoulder gently and walked away, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I poured myself another glass of wine, starting to feel a little buzz, preparing myself for a conversation with new people—time to apply my old habits and get to work.

* * *

"Hi, guys!" I chirped, standing in front of the group of three. Red jumped from his seat when I approached, and the other two leered at me from their spots. "Now that we going together to DC, I realized we didn't have time for introductions."

"Yes, we didn't. Sergeant Abraham Ford," Red stated, and I shook his hand when he offered. Then he gestured to his companions, first the woman and then Hairdoo. "Rosita Espinoza, and Eugene Porter."

I shook their hands as well, though I noticed the dark-haired man was uncomfortable under my touch. "Is it not Dr. Euguene Porter?" I asked him with a soft and hopefully innocent smile and saw his eyes snapping up to mine.

Finally, he released my hand and nodded slowly. "Yes, but the time for titles passed, and it's not necessary during introductions such as these."

I chuckled and sat down on the cold, stone floor, crossing my legs in front of myself. "It may as well be, considering where we going and what we going to do. Especially that things going to change."

Abraham furrowed his brows and exchanged a glance with Rosita before asking. "What you mean?"

"Just that now you going to travel with more people. I didn't introduce myself, though. SSA Elena James. I guess now it's Dixon," I replied, smiling brightly at them, and saw a muscle twitch just above Hairdoo's brow while his chest started raising a little bit more rapidly.

"FBI?"

"Yep. I just wanted to tell you that if you need anything, you got it. And Euguene, I might not have a doctorate in genetics, but I'm quite smart and got eidetic memory. So if you want to share something about the cure, I'm all ears."

I smiled even wider when I noticed that my words made the man uncomfortable.

"It's classified," He announced, avoiding my gaze. With an understanding nod, I looked around.

"Well, do you see any other government parties in here?" I said lightly, and Rosita chuckled at that shaking her head. "Exactly. ' _As soon as it no longer meets the standards for classification_ ', and ' _when necessary to respond to an imminent threat to life or in defense of the homeland_ '. I think it applies, don't you?" I asked and waved my hand around the room.

"We all put a lot of trust in you, Eugene. I know that DC and Pentagon were overrun very early on. I hadn't had contact with anyone from the Bureau in a long time. So, in current conditions, I'm the highest-ranking party of government. And it might not be the Department of Defence or Security, but that's all you got. So here you go, declassified."

I watched their faces change. Rosita was showing confusion, and Abraham seemed like some kind of weight was lifted from his shoulders. But Hairdoo glanced around and swallowed thickly.

Unfortunately, before he managed to reply, Rick came around and tapped me on the shoulder. "Come with me, Elena."

I gazed up and sighed at the interruption. "I'll be back, guys. Think about it, Eugene."

I followed Rick to the doors, furrowing my brows. "What's up?"

"Daryl and Carol are not back. Bob is missing too, and Sasha went by herself to search for him."

"Fuck. Oscar, Michonne, keep guard," I told others who gathered around the entrance and motioned for Merle. "Come on, Hook. You with us."

I ran to my pack and grabbed the Barrett, hoping to use night vision in the scope to see something in the woods.

We found Sasha a little bit into the woods, and she insisted that someone was in there, watching her. I tried to see anything, but now that two walkers that came close were dispatched, the forest seemed empty.

Merle and I offered to try and track whoever was there, but Rick didn't want to risk it. If, in fact, someone took them or was watching us, it wasn't a good idea to split up, especially not during the night.

Sasha was beyond worried, and even though I was too, I also knew that Daryl and Carol could take care of themselves. And if Bob was with them, he was in good hands, safe. The Black woman marched back inside the church, and the first thing she did was get as close to Gabriel as she could. Not holding her emotions under control, she started accusing the priest of working with unknown people, of arranging the disappearance of our people.

Now, I didn't exactly trust the guy, but it was clear that he had no clue what she was talking about.

That's when Rick finally pried the truth out of Gabriel. Chilling one, but utterly unrelated to our issue at hand. It was his story of the beginning of the apocalypse.

He locked himself in like a coward. When his congregation needed him, his help, and council, he shut himself in and didn't open doors. Not until it was all over, people eaten by walkers, while he stayed inside, safe.

The only thing we achieved with it was Gabriel kneeling on the floor, crying, reliving probably the worst memory of his life.

"There's something out there," Glenn announced after Gabriel's confession. He and Maggie went to the windows as soon as we came back, weapons in hands, watching out for others to come back. "There's someone outside, lying in the grass."

"Merle, Oscar, torches. Sasha, Rick, come one," I said quickly, raising my gun once I approached the doors. Axel moved towards it and opened it. Sasha didn't really wait for my words, just ran outside, and when we followed her, a cold sweat covered my body.

"Bob! Oh, Bob!" She was shouting, getting down the stairs towards the man who layed in the grass. I couldn't see him clearly, but I could tell that he was missing the lower part of his left leg, and I swallowed thickly.

"Walkers!" I warned, spotting a few geeks trailing towards us, and more people emerged from the building. I let the sniper go, letting it rest over my chest, and pulled machete out, jogging at one of the undead.

"His leg."

"Get Bob inside. We'll take care of them," Glenn was the one to order that and others set up to get rid of the walkers. I swung my machete above my head and spun around, not seeing any other geeks around me. Rick started shooting, urging us to get back inside when I noticed something painted on the side of the building.

"Rick!" I called him over and pointed my finger before getting back inside. My fists clenched tightly, and my heart pumped fast.

"Seemed like Daryl was right," I whispered to the sheriff, and he nodded, crossing the room to where Bob was layed down.

"Bob! What happened?" Rick asked him, crouching next to the Black man, alongside with rest of us. I tried to avoid looking at his leg and wonder how we would run anywhere with him right now. Losing an arm in this world is one thing, but leg...

"I was in the graveyard. Somebody knocked me out," Bob started his story. He was sweating, and his breathing was labored, undoubtedly because of the blood loss and pain. "I woke up outside this place. It looked like a school. It was that guy, Gareth. And five other ones."

Suspecting something and knowing are two different things. I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to shove images of strangers eating Bob's flesh out of my mind.

"They were eating my leg right in front of me. Like it was nothing," Bob's voice wavered, and I saw how hard he was trying not to cry, how scared he was, must've been while they had him.

"All proud like they had it all figured out."

"Did they have Daryl and Carol?" Rick asked gently, his voice warm and calming. Bob turned his eyes to the sheriff and then to me, smiling sadly.

"Gareth said they drove off."

I furrowed my brows and stood up abruptly, my head spinning and sending weird and crazy scenarios through my head. _Drove off..._

"He's in pain. Do we have anything?" I heard Sasha, but it seemed foggy, and I realized I was starting to hyperventilate. _Drove off._

Turning my back to others, I held tightly to one of the benches, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to control my breathing.

_Drove off. With Carol._

There was a logical explanation for it. There had to be.

He wouldn't just fucking leave me, us, his family. But then, my heart reminded me how fucking unlucky in life I used to be. Did you think it always will be roses and daisies? How everyone I loved ended up dead, and why I had issues with connecting with other people.

Carol was always fond of him; ever since the farm, they were close. And even if both of them denied that there was anything romantic, the bond was there, undoubtedly.

Drove off. Is this how a broken heart feels? I almost forgot the feeling, as if someone slashed you open and ripped your insides apart.

An arm snapped me out of my thoughts, and I reacted instinctively, spinning around and snatching the knife from my belt. Before I could do anything, a hand wrapped around my wrist, constricting my movements, and that's when my eyes met Rick's.

"He wouldn't leave you," His voice was low and comforting, soothing even. "You know this. Once we deal with Terminus people, we'll look for them."

"They drove off..." I hated how shaky and unsure my voice sounded. Small and on the verge of cracking.

"Not like that. They wouldn't. I need you, Eli. Are you with me?" I took a big, shaky breath, trying to compose myself and get my emotions under wrap. Rick was right. Daryl wouldn't leave me, Merle, Lucy, or others just like that. And if something was happening between him and Carol, I would notice before. Right?

"Yeah," I whispered and nodded my head, finally taking in my surroundings. Sasha and Bob were gone, and I scrunched my face. How long was I out of it?

"Bob was bitten. When we were getting food, he didn't want to worry us," Rick seemed to know what I was thinking about, and I scoffed, closing my eyes for a second. Not even a moment of a breather for us, it seems.

"Come 'ere." Merle came around, and he circled his shoulder around me, pulling me after the sheriff so we could talk with the others.

"How close is this school, Gabriel?" Rick asked him, and Gabriel shook his head gently, knitting his brows together.

"It's just a 10-minute walk through the woods from here, due south of the graveyard."

Axel grabbed Lucy's hand, and Carl moved the big wooden basket Judith was lying in, and they both walked off towards the offices, so kids could have some sleep. And so they wouldn't hear us talking war plans.

"Does he have a fever?" Rick asked Maggie, and she shook her head.

"He's just warm."

"Jim lasted almost two days before we left him," Glenn stated, reminding us of the long-lost member of our group.

"And it took almost a whole day for the fever to set," I added quietly, bringing my arms around myself, stepping aside from Merle.

"Time for a reality check," Abraham's voice boomed from behind. He stood with one of the rifles, close to the door; presumably, he was supposed to keep watch. "We all need to leave for DC right now."

"We're not going fucking anywhere without Daryl and Carol," I snared at him, walking in his direction, shaking someone's hand off, as they tried to stop me.

"I respect that, but there's a clear threat here to Eugene. I need to extract his ass before things get any uglier. So if y'all won't come, good luck to you. We'll go our separate ways."

"You leaving on foot?" Rick asked from behind me, and Red stopped his retreat, slowly turning back around.

"We fixed that damn bus ourselves," The man started to sound angry, but I was madder. At Daryl, and Carol, and those fucking pricks from Terminus, and now at him.

"You're welcome to the RV, but you not talking the bus. There's more of us than you," I told him coldly, twisting my lips down in a snarl.

"You wanna keep it that way? You should come." Abraham tilted his head down to me, and I took another step forward, pointing my finger at his chest.

"We're not leaving without my husband!" I told him firmly.

"Your husband took off with another woman!"

"You fucking bastard!" I yelled at his words and pushed him backward.

"Don't you fucking touch me!"

But I didn't listen; my fist already connected with his jaw, sending him back, and I was prepared to plant my knee onto his stomach when an arm wrapped around my middle, lifting me from the floor and pulling away from Abraham.

"You bitch!" Abraham snarled, wiping blood from the corner of his mouth, but before things could escalate, Glenn stepped in between us. I tried to wiggle my way out of tight grip, but Merle held me firmly, and I was actually worried he will stab me with his hand by accident. I huffed and stilled, sending daggers towards Red with my eyes.

"Stop! Now!" Glenn shouted as well, looking around, his attention focusing on Abraham. "Do you really think that you're gonna be any safer leaving right now in the middle of the night?"

"Yeah," Red replied, twisting to turn around. I scoffed and sent him a dark smile.

"Then you're more stupid than you look. First, you believe lies of this idiot, and now you willing to risk his life just to prove us something," I told him, and he turned back to me, ready to cross the room and finish our fight. Well, I was more than ready. As soon as Merle lets me go, that is.

"Shut your mouth, bitch."

"What about tomorrow?" Glenn asked calmly, ignoring me. "We need each other for this. And for DC. We can get through all of it together."

Red stared down at the Asian man, analyzing his words, when Tara spoke from behind us, slowly circling Merle and me to stand opposite Glenn.

"I have an idea. If you stay just one more day and help, I'll go with you to DC no matter what." I furrowed my brows at her words and tried again to get free, but Merle just pressed me tighter against his chest.

"Calm down, Doll," He whispered in my ear, and I scoffed at him.

"Glenn and Maggie, too," Abraham finally answered, sending me into a frenzy again. How dare he try to fucking break us apart like that? How dare he fucking separate this family for a big fat lie?!

"No," Rick was the one to reply, and Red turned back around, motioning for Rosita.

"Good luck, then. I'm not interested in breaking up what you have here. Rosita, grab your gear."

"Abraham--" The woman tried to protest, but he quickly cut her off.

"Now! Eugene, let's go. Eugene. Move it."

The supposed scientist didn't make any movement, still staring ahead, arms crossed on a bench in front of him and a bleak expression on his face.

"I don't want to."

"Now!" Abraham ordered, and Eugene finally relented, standing up from the bench and moving towards the doors, not looking at anyone when he passed by us.

"You're not taking the bus," Rick told them when they were by the door, his voice low and threatening. That made them pause in their steps.

"Try to stop me."

"Merle, let me go. I got a better chance," I hissed at Dixon, who was holding me down, and he loosened his grip a little, but not completely.

After a few seconds of silence, Rick started walking towards the red-haired man with utmost confidence, but Glenn was there once more.

"Hey, hey, hey. No!" He pushed himself between Abraham and Rick, stretching his arms out to keep them apart. "You stay-- you stay and help us, and we will go with you."

"Glenn, no!" I yelled, finally breaking from Merle's grip and grabbing Glenn's arm, begging him with my eyes to not do this.

"No!" Rick said almost at the same time, and the Asian man turned to us, slowly prying my fingers off him.

"It's not your call." I took a shaky breath at his statement, feeling as if he slapped me, and I nodded weakly, pressing my lips in a thin line. "You stay, help us."

Abraham considered it for a moment. "Half a day. Come high noon, we're taillights. I'm not waiting for other damn shoe to drop."

"And we will leave with you," At Maggie's words, my shoulders dropped, realizing they were fucking serious.

Red nodded, not meeting mine or Rick's eyes. "Twelve hours. Then we go."

With that, people dispersed, and I walked blindly towards one of the benches, slowly sitting down.

Maggie and Glenn would leave us, and for what? Daryl-- Daryl drove off. _Your husband took off with another woman!_ Abraham's words circled around my head while my fingers grazed small stones on my ring finger. Yeah, he did. And when he comes back, there will be hell to pay for it.

* * *

Leaving in the middle of the night to go into the forest should be scary. Walking away in a manner where the enemy can see us should be terrifying. But those people pried on others. And leaving church defenseless should draw them out.

Rick, Michonne, Merle, Sasha, Glenn, Maggie, Oscar, Abraham, and I left after forming a short plan. Others would stay inside, protecting kids, Bob, and the priest. We walked in the school's direction, but once we ventured further back into the forest, we stopped, crouching down. Sasha and I used our scopes to watch the church, and we signaled the others when six people emerged from the woods.

We saw them slowly stroll up the stairs, open the doors and disappear inside.

"Give them two minutes, so they're further in, then we get inside," I told them, and with hums of approval, we waited. After what seemed like hours but was only ninety seconds, we stood up and jogged silently towards the stairs.

We made sure to crouch when we moved to pass the windows, and Merle, Rick, and I climbed up the stairs first. Step after step, watching our feet and ensuring that we not going to make any noise.

And that's when Judith started to cry, and we glanced between each other.

I waved at Sasha to join us, and she climbed up the stairs. Rick and Merle moved to the sides while I crouched by the door, the woman doing the same next to me.

"It's your last chance right now to tell us you're coming out," The man who seemed to be a leader, Gareth said, and I brought Barrett up, looking down the scope. Two men guarded the door with their weapons pointing towards it. Two others stood behind them, but in such a way that we had a clear view of the first pair.

"The door. You take left one," I whispered into Sasha's ear, as quietly as I could, and when I saw her nod, I lined up my weapon.

Down on one knee, propping the sniper on the other one, I took a deep breath in and out. When I had the guy on the right in the line of sight, I watched his movements for a second before squeezing the trigger. Sasha's shot followed mine, and we scrambled up to our feet, Rick stepping into the church as we followed, using lack of light to our advantage.

"Put your guns on the floor," The sheriff ordered while the other four people looked with terror in our direction. We were hidden in the shadows, and I took off to the right, slowly creeping along the wall towards the woman that pointed her gun at the entrance's door.

"Rick, we'll fire right into that office. So you lower your gun--" Gareth's words were interrupted just as Sasha shot his hand, the one he held onto his weapon. Slowly the others started to emerge from the shadows. I took the opportunity that the woman was distracted, pressing the sharp blade of my hunter's knife to her throat.

"Drop the weapon," I snarled in her ear, and slowly she obeyed. Using the other arm to circle her middle, I held her arms together, pressed to her sides.

"Put your hands on the floor and kneel," Rick ordered again, finally coming out, his face showing up in soft moonlight.

I pushed the woman to the floor, kicking the back of her knees, and she stumbled forward, stretching her hands out to catch herself.

"Do what he says," Gareth ordered his people; his voice was strained and full of pain. That's usually what happens when someone shots your fingers off.

The other two men slowly placed their weapons down and kicked them to the middle, away from themselves. I saw the woman trying to reach for her gun in the corner of my eye, and quickly I pressed one foot down on her leg, pulling her hair back. She yelped in pain, and I bend down, my knife back against her throat.

Oscar came around to us and picked up her gun, stepping aside. Her shoulders sloughed, but I didn't release my hold on her.

Abraham and Merle stood by one of the other men while Sasha glared at Gareth but pointed her weapon down, slowly placing it against one of the benches. Rick circled the leader of Terminus before stopping in front of him.

"No point in begging, right?" Gareth asked, holding onto his injured hand, trying to stop the bleeding and pain.

"No," Rick answered shortly in a dark voice.

"Still, you could have killed us when you came in. There had to be a reason for that."

"We didn't want to waste the bullets."

At that woman in my grasp started to move, trying to get away, but I gripped her hair tighter and kicked her in the kidney. Her short cry of pain echoed in the church, and Gareth sighed to himself before replying.

"We used to help people. We saved people. Things changed. They came in and--" He groaned and chuckled to himself. "After that... I know that you've been out there, but I can see it. You don't know what it is to be hungry. You don't have to do this. We can walk away. And we will never cross paths again. I promise you."

"But someone will," I said out loud. "Someone will, and even if you'd have resources, animals to hunt-- you don't come back from that. And you'll do it again to someone. Someone's father, mother, sister, son."

"Besides what she said--" Rick put away his gun and placed his hand over the hilt of his machete. "I already made you a promise."

After that, the sheriff swiftly pulled the blade out, and the rest was blurry. Someone yelled, cried, and Rick was slashing at Gareth.

I pulled at the woman's hair, tilting her head so she could look me in the eyes, and my knife pierced the skin, veins, and artery, splashing her blood around me. Some dripped on my hand, and a few drops landed on my cheek. I pushed her dead body to the ground, and then with an angry yell, I stabbed her in the head, preventing her body from reanimating.

I was so fucking angry and frustrated. And heartbroken. Daryl and Carol took off who fucking knows where. Bob was assaulted by those-- those monsters and bitten on top of it. Maggie and Glenn were leaving come noon.

Everything was falling apart. I stood above the body of the dead woman and staring at her coldly, feeling my heart shattering to the ground.

**_He drove off..._ **


End file.
